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evita-shelby · 6 months

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Shooting Stars

Cw: mentions of attempted murder, miscarriage, blood, death, visions of death, illness, a lot of angst

Mostly Diane in her aged up version, with some Tom Bennett x Diane at the end.

She’s always known when there’s shooting stars, ever since her parents would take them to the woods and sleep underneath the stars.

The first wish she ever made was for a sister when she was four going on five and they went to the Canary Islands. Her parents had shared a look between them and right before Easter, Diane knew her wish had come true.

Shh, don’t tell anyone yet, her mother had whispered with a wink as she put on the sapphire as large as a Diane’s fist around her neck.

Diane had not kept her secret, lost in the euphoria of having her wish come true she told everyone who listened to her.

That same evening, her mother was shot at a charity gala and the shock and injury had made her lose the baby.

From then on, Diane Elizabeth Shelby learned wishes don’t come true if they aren’t secret.

----

Diane was six years old when she Uncle John dying in Aunt Esme’s arms during one of those secret visits she and her mother did to them.

And just like that time in the villa in Tenerife, she felt the rush of excitement of a star falling from heaven.

This time she didn’t pray for a sister or a brother or a new pony, this time she wished for uncle john to live.

For extra measure she didn’t tell a soul.

And sure enough on Christmas Day, they get a call from a frantic Esme telling them of the ambush by the Changrettas and John Shelby surviving to tell the tale.

Wishes only came true if they were secret.

----

She is ten years old and dressed up as Marie Antoinette complete with a wig as big as she and period accurate undergarments.

Versailles wishes it could be this great, her dad said as she danced standing on his toes.

Her mother had drawn a blood red line and fake stitches to make it look as if her head had been sewed back on.

Her mama can barely stand waltzes, her eyes grow wide with horror and her skin turns into gooseflesh before she runs off to scream or cry as her past rushes back into her head.

Diane had never understood that, she only knows that its like the shovels her daddy hears some nights.

Its as he spins her one last time that she understands why.

Aunt Polly’s laugh triggers a vision so strong Diane screams like she’s never done before.

A knife in the dark, Polly struggling and then choking on her own blood as her throat is slit.

That night Diane holds the Black Madonna she gave her and prayed her aunt polly never dies.

And yet the morning after her father tried to kill himself in the empty field, her body and that of Barney Thompson and her fiance, Aberama Gold are dumped on their doorstep.

It was then that Diane learned not all wishes come true.

----

Diane is fifteen. She has had her quinceanera, she is to debut in society on her fifteenth birthday as her mother did and most girls in Mexico do.

Life returns slowly to the Shelbys after Polly’s murder. Her father no longer drinks, her uncles do their best to keep themselves clean and no one speaks to Michael because he blames them for his mother’s death.

Her father for his plot to assassinate Mosley, her mother for not stopping it.

Diane gets comes down with the same cold her best friend from school, Cathy, does around December. Both had been friends since grammar school when the teacher assigned them together because Cathy needed to grow out of her shell and Diane needed to be mindful of others.

When they move Christmas up so they can go to Boston with daddy, the young witch finds herself so sick she could stay standing after coughing so terribly her handkerchief comes away with splatters of blood.

Diane is fifteen when she is diagnosed with tuberculosis.

She is given the best of care in an institution built up by her father because his first love died of consumption and what better way to honor her by making sure no one has to die like she did.

He refuses to leave her side no matter what the doctors try. They talk to pass the time, he does mainly because he knows she’s dying.

Diane tells him about the shooting stars as she starts to feel the tingling of one about to a fall.

And because Thomas Shelby would do anything for his family, he picks her up from her bed and both make a wish on a shooting star as they watch it fall to its death from her hospital window.

On Christmas Day, Diane is carried out of the institution by her parents alive while Cathy’s carry her out dead.

Sometimes magic comes with a price, she can hear her Aunt Polly say.

-----

Diane is twenty when she meets the love of her life.

He is charming, carefree and makes her heart sing as if he himself were a shooting star.

Thomas Bennett doesn’t even know her name and yet both feel as if they have known each other before. Perhaps in a past life, she thinks as they dance to his sister’s song like all young lovers do.

She has known desire before but not so strongly. It was like a thousand shooting stars had begun to fall around them.

He is so much more than he appears, insightful and caring and so unlike others see him.

“Haven’t seen a shooting star in years. Used to make wishes on them.” He mentions as they stop and see the streak of light that has the young witch almost vibrating from the heady feel of her connection with Tom and the meteorite burning to nothing in the heavens.

“So did I, well, I still do.” Diane admitted quietly and found herself wishing for the boy standing right beside her.

“Are you free tomorrow?” he asks holding out his hand and she takes it while keeping her wish and her last name a secret…for now.

#eva smith shelby #tommy shelby x oc #diane shelby #diane shelby x tom bennett #tom bennett x oc #tom bennett world on fire #world on fire peaky blinders crossover #november writing prompts

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thebetterbear · 2 years

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Post Modern Art

Escaping Confines of Museum

City, Michael Heizer. Located in Garden Valley, a desert valley in rural Lincoln County in the U.S. state of Nevada. land art sculpture. 1970-2022

Collapsing Boundaries Between High and Low

Curious Kitten watercolor painting is a painting by Svetlana Novikova which was uploaded on February 23rd, 2013.

Rejecting Originality

Andy Warhol 1928–1987. Silkscreen ink and acrylic paint on 2 canvases. 1982

Jouissance

Working Collaboratively

Meow Wolf. Sept. 13, 2021.

Adam Christopher

Andi Todaro

Ashley Frazier, Michael Sperandeo

Brandan Styles "Bzurk”, Ellie Rusinova

Brian Corrigan

Cal Duran, David Ocelotl Garcia

Cami Galofre

Chris Bagley

Christopher Owen Nelson

Christopher Short

Collin Parson

Corrina Espinosa

Dan Taro

David Farquharson

Dice 51

Douglas A. Schenck “DAS”

Dylan Gebbia-Richards

Frankie Toan

Ian McKenna

Jaime Molina, Pedro Barrios

Jennifer Pettus

Jess Webb

Jodi Stuart, Libby Barbee

Joseph Lamar

Joshua Goss

JUHB.

Justin Camilli

Justin Gitlin aka Cacheflowe

Kalyn Heffernan, Gregg Ziemba

Katy Zimmerman, Erika Wurth

Kia Neill

Kristin Stransky

Laaiaim Mayer

Lauri Lynnxe Murphy

LORDSCIENCE UNIVERSAL

Lumonics

Marjorie Lair, Kyle Vincent Singer

Maya Linke

Myah Sarles

Nicole Banowetz

Nolan Tredway

Ramón Bonilla

Reed Fox, Ben Weirich

Sabin Aell, Randy Rushton

Scott Hildebrandt

Sean Peuquet

Shayna Cohn

Sigrid Sarda

Sofie Birkin

Thomas Scharfenberg

Viviane Le Courtois

Wanderweird

Wynn Earl Buzzell Jr.

Andrew Novick, Pamela Webb, Robert Ayala

bearwarp

Chad Colby, Lexis Loeb, Hayley Kirkman

Charles Kern, Ty Holter, Ben Jackson, Rachel Bilys, Brett Sasine

Demiurge LLC: Joe Riche and Wynn Buzzell

Eriko Tsogo, Jennifer Tsogo, Tsogo Mijid, Batochir Batkhishig

F. Ria Khan, Armon Naein, Blake Gambel, Calvin Logan, Charles Candon, Harrison Bolin, Luke Collier, Maria Deslis, Sky Johnson, Sofia Rubio-Topete

Ladies Fancywork Society

Merhia Wiese, Annabelle Wiese, Maggie Wiese, Eunseo Zoey Kim, Dan Griner

Mike Lustig, Mitch Hoffman, Tim Omspach, Nathan Koral, Evan Beloni, Ryan Elmendorf, Scott Wilson, Charlis Robbins

Molina Speaks, Stevon Lucero, DJ Icewater, Felix "Fast4ward" Ayodele, Diles, Emily Swank

Oren Lomena, Alaine "Skeena" Rodriguez, Alius Hu

Peniel Apantenco, Kim Shively, Colin Richard Ferguson Ward, (In memoriam)

Sam Caudill, Sean Louis Rove, Juancristobal Hernández

Secret Love Collective: Katy Batsel, Lares Feliciano, Colby Graham, Piper Rose, Frankie Toan, Katy Zimmerman, Lauren Zwicky, Genevieve Waller

The Church of Many: Andrea Thurber, Elsa Carenbauer, Anna Goss, Maddi Waneka and Emily Merlin

Waffle Cone Club: Kyle Vincent Singer, Scott Kreider, Marjorie Lair

Everything is Terrible!

Kevin Bourland

Michael Lujan

Moment Factory

Nina Mastrangelo

Scott Geary, Wayne Geary, Gary Ashkin

Appropriating

Paneel "Rehearsal for an Icon 2001 - Mona Lisa" von Olbinski, Grafikdruck. Digital Print

Hybridizing

Untitled (Studio)2014

Kerry James Marshall

Simulating

Andy Warhol (American, 1928–1987) 1962. Synthetic polymer paint on thirty-two canvases, Each canvas 20 x 16" (50.8 x 40.6 cm). Overall installation with 3" between each panel is 97" high x 163" wide

Mixing Media

Mama, Mummy and Mamma (Predecessors #2)

Njideka Akunyili Crosby. 2014

Layering

Zephyrus Rising, 2022. Acrylic on Acrylic. 32 × 16 × 22 in Duncan McDaniel

Mixing Codes

Recontextualizing

Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa, 1503-6; On Winnie: Denis Colomb stoles (worn as a headdress, top and sleeves)

Confronting the Gaze

Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad David Ayer 2016 (left), Harley Quinn in Birds of Prey Cathy Yann 2021 (right)

Facing Abject

Jane Alexander, Butcher Boys, 1985/86, mixed media (Iziko South African National Gallery, Cape Town, photo: Goggins World, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

Constructing Identities

Creating Metaphors

Martin Puryear. Ladder for Booker T. Washington, detail, 1996. Installation view at the Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth, Texas. 2003

Using Narratives

Damien Hirst The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living, 2013 Lentikulardruck80 x 120 cm

Irony, Parody, Parody Dissonance

A Subtlety, or the Marvelous Sugar Baby (2014). Kara Walker Photo: Andrew Burton/Getty Images

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jcmarchi · 3 months

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WWE 2K24's Full Launch Roster Revealed

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/wwe-2k24s-full-launch-roster-revealed/

WWE 2K24's Full Launch Roster Revealed

WWE 2K24’s full roster has been revealed. This year offers a staggering line-up of Superstars hailing from Raw, Smackdown and NXT, as well as numerous Legends.

Over 200 playable superstars will be available at launch, along with 8 managers. Check them out below.

Raw

Akira Tozawa

Alexa Bliss

Becky Lynch

Bianca Belair

Big E

Braun Strowman

Bronson Reed

Candice LeRae

Carmella

Cedric Alexander

Chad Gable

Chelsea Green

Cody Rhodes

Damian Priest

Dexter Lumis

Dominik Mysterio

Drew McIntyre

Erik

Finn Bálor

Giovanni Vinci

Gunther

Indi Hartwell

Ivar

JD McDonagh

Jey Uso

Johnny Gargano

Kofi Kingston

Liv Morgan

Ludwig Kaiser

Maxxine Dupri

Natalya

Nikki Cross

Otis

Piper Niven

Raquel Rodriguez

Rhea Ripley

Ricochet

R-Truth

Sami Zayn

Seth “Freakin” Rollins

Shayna Baszler

Shinsuke Nakamura

Sonya Deville

Tegan Nox

The Miz

Tommaso Ciampa

Valhalla

Xavier Woods

Zoey Stark

Smackdown

AJ Styles

Alba Fyre

Angelo Dawkins

Ashante “Thee” Adonis

Asuka

Austin Theory

Bayley

Bobby Lashley

Butch

Cameron Grimes

Charlotte Flair

Cruz Del Toro

Dakota Kai

Elton Prince

Grayson Waller

Isla Dawn

Iyo Sky

Jimmy Uso

Joaquin Wilde

Karl Anderson

Karrion Kross

Katana Chance

Kayden Carter

Kevin Owens

Kit Wilson

LA Knight

Logan Paul

Luke Gallows

Michin Mia Yim

Montez Ford

MVP

Omos

Randy Orton

Rey Mysterio

Ridge Holland

Robert Roode

Roman Reigns

Santos Escobar

Scarlett

Sheamus

Shotzi

Solo Sikoa

Tamina

Xia Li

Zelina Vega

NXT

Andre Chase

Angel Garza

Apollo Crews

Axiom

Baron Corbin

Blair Davenport

Bron Breakker

Brooks Jensen

Brutus Creed

Carmelo Hayes

Channing “Stacks” Lorenzo

Cora Jade

Damon Kemp

Dijak

Drew Gulak

Duke Hudson

Fallon Henley

Gigi Dolin

Humberto

Ilja Dragunov

Ivy Nile

Jacy Jayne

Jinder Mahal

Joe Coffey

Joe Gacy

Josh Briggs

Julius Creed

Nathan Frazer

Nikkita Lyons

Noam Dar

Roxanne Perez

Sanga

Scrypts

Thea Hail

Tiffany Stratton

Tony D’Angelo

Trick Williams

Tyler Bate

Veer Mahaan

Wendy Choo

Wes Lee

Wolfgang

Legends/Alumni

Andre The Giant

Bad Bunny

Batista

Beth Phoenix

Big Boss Man

Boogeyman

Booker T

Bray Wyatt

Bret “Hitman” Hart

British Bulldog

Bruno Sammartino

Cactus Jack

Chyna

Diesel

Doink The Clown

Dude Love

Dusty Rhodes (Part of the Nightmare Family Pack)

Eddie Guerrero

Eric Bischoff

Eve Torres

Faarooq

The Fiend

George “The Animal” Steele

Harley Race

Hollywood Hogan

Hulk Hogan

The Hurricane

Jake “The Snake” Roberts

JBL

Jerry “The King” Lawler

Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart

John Cena

Kane

Ken Shamrock

Kevin Nash

Kurt Angle

Lita

“Macho Man” Randy Savage

Mankind

Maryse

Mighty Molly

Molly Holly

Muhammad Ali

“Ravishing” Rick Rude

Rick Steiner

Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat

Rikishi

Rob Van Dam

The Rock

Ronda Rousey

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper

Scott Hall

Scott Steiner

Shane McMahon

Shawn Michaels

Stacy Keibler

Stephanie McMahon

Stardust (Part of the Nightmare Family Pack)

“Stone Cold” Steve Austin

“Superstar” Billy Graham (Part of the Nightmare Family Pack)

Syxx

Ted DiBiase

Triple H

Trish Stratus

Tyler Breeze

Ultimate Warrior

Umaga

Uncle Howdy

The Undertaker

Vader

Wade Barrett

William Regal

X-Pac

Yokozuna

Managers

B-Fab

Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

Cathy Kelley

Mick Foley

Miss Elizabeth

Paul Bearer

Paul Heyman

Theodore Long

WWE 2K24 launches on March 8 for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X/S, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC. You can read our in-deph hands-on preview here, watch us play a few matches in this episode of New Gameplay Today, or check out our gaming-focused interview with one of 2K24’s cover stars, Cody Rhodes.

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fatcathy2 · 1 year

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Cathy in a Michael Mann film. Maybe best. #Michael Mann x nom x faced #nom x swap

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bitcofun · 1 year

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Well, this was definitely a week. Following rumours that FTX remains in monetary problem, Binance stated it would liquidate the whole of its FTT holdings, and FTX CEO Sam Bankman-Fried rejected insolvency reports in the middle of installing speculations that the exchange was dealing with liquidity concerns, while he likewise exposed the factors for not buying Elon Musk Twitter takeover Then, news struck that Binance would obtain FTX, crypto rates crashed as FTX collapsed, and the United States regulators were currently looking into FTX Then however then, Binance pulled out of the offer to purchase FTX, pointing out mishandled client funds and regulator examinations, and it was reported that many of FTX's legal group left the business Then however then however then, FTX browsed for rescuers yet once again, and Tron's Justin Sun stated he had an option Then however then however then however then, FTX submitted for insolvency Meanwhile, Binance will follow Gate.io's and Kraken's example and begin doing Proof-of-Reserve audits, Coinbase experienced 'network connection concerns' in the middle of market turbulence and Kraken saw' connection problems', while Crypto.com suspended deposits and withdrawals of USDC and USDT on the Solana Blockchain. Ethereum gas charges increase 10 x in the middle of the on-chain panic, ETH as soon as again turned deflationary, Vitalik Buterin launched an upgrade to the Ethereum roadmap, Tim Draper was staying with his earlier $250,000 cost forecast for BTC, Mastercard's CEO Michael Miebach stated that it's a long method to precede crypto ends up being mainstream, and we checked out the XRP cost as the last court decision methods. Circle prepares to bring Euro Coin to Solana in early 2023, Beeple revealed a partnership with Solana, a16 z introduced trustless access to Ethereum offering 2-second synchronization, Cathie Wood's Ark Invest purchased $21 million worth of Coinbase shares, LG Electronics wishes to work with 2 brand-new CTOs to lead its Web3 and blockchain innovation operations, Japanese mobile company NTT strategies to invest $4 billion in Web3 innovation, and the variety of Bitcoin ATMs in Canada leapt 28% in one year, while Meta signed up with the growing list of tech business that are letting employees go We learnt that the United States federal government owns more than 1% of the overall bitcoin supply, the DOJ took BTC 50,676 in its second-largest crypto seizure in history, the United States SEC won a lawsuit versus LBRY, and the United States Treasury Department re-designated sanctions on Tornado Cash mentioning North Korean participation. In South Korea, a scholastic stated that Seoul need to take actions to stop Pyongyang from hacking crypto targets, a crypto scams ring drew victims in with pledges of Rolex watches and ETH free gifts, and the nation declared a cross-border CBDC success while the Chinese bank chief stated e-CNY would enhance trade. While the result of the United States midterm elections might have a bigger influence on the future of crypto guideline than lots of believe, the Central Bank of Russia launched a report that concentrates on digital possessions and their combination into the standard monetary system, while still opposing using crypto in settlements and "accounting" circumstances, and Hong Kong's securities regulator recommended it would proceed with strategies to enable retail financiers to gain access to crypto futures ETFs And in Argentina, a business owner and a cosmetic surgeon were imprisoned for their part in offering phony tokens they declared were "connected" with OneCoin. Jokes! __________ GM, CT! Wait ... __ One more time: GM, CT! What's up? __ An unexpected look. Source: tendies_wsb/ Instagram __ Let's all hear what Sam needs to state. __ It was a bloody week ... once again. __ Let that safu in. __' You've been CZed! Quickly a minimum of.' __ At the conference about the possible FTX acquisition. Source: getvolv/ Instagram __ How about some Binance? __ Bro, plz.

__ Some provided a technical analysis through a socio-historical prism of the FTX-BNB characteristics. __ He understood. __ And we're going live back to Thursday. __ Cryptoverse today: __ That makes all of the senses, yes ... __ Just wished to retire, however nooo! Source: youneedmorecrypto/ Instagram __ Got to keep purchasing that dip. Source: forexhumour/ Instagram __ An outstanding one. Really dippy. Source: coincodecap/ Instagram __ Got some knowledge to share. Source: coingape.tv/ Instagram __ Just a tad uncomfortable. Read More

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missbergmans · 3 years

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Let's have a look at all these presents, then.

#mum #mum bbc #cathy walker #michael roberts #cathy x michael #lesley manville #peter mullan #no toughts #head empty #the last scene is just...............................................................*ascends*#mine #mine:mum #mine:gif #miss them #someone write a fic about that last scene pretty pleaseeee #i mean the last scene in the episode #the one about the wet boot asdfghgfds #lmao @sarina it's been 75 years hunny

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cherubinhell · 4 years

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Cathy x Michael x Hands » Mum

#lesley manville #peter mullan #bbc mum #cathy walker #michael roberts #cathy x michael #why so beautiful

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verypersonalscreencaps · 5 years

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Lesley Manville & Peter Mullan attend the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2019

#raaaahhh #cathy x michael #lesley manville #peter mullan #bbc mum #mum bbc #mum

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okfan527 · 5 years

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I tend to fall hardest for ships where they’re really good friends ... and the girl doesn’t realize that the guy who truly loves her -- the one she loves back and truly needs -- has been there the whole time ....

Why do I do this to myself?

#odo x kira #kira x odo #cathy x michael #carson x hughes #braime #brienne x jaime #jorah x dany #I'm a shipping glutton for angst and punishment #otps

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clxrissadalloway · 5 years

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“So much easier just being friends.“

Mum 3.03 – Wednesday.

#bbc mum #mum bbc #cathy walker #Lesley Manville #Michael Roberts #Peter Mullan #cathy x michael #(this is grainier than I would like #oh well)#mine

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theoldgods · 5 years

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So with the news that Mum’s final season is going to be dropping all at once in bingeable format on May 15 (and also airing weekly on BBC2?) (source), I got both excited (because CONTENT FEAST) and also sad (because I can conceivably run through the last of Mum all in one sitting in about 3 hours, when I’d low-key been assuming it would give me a little half-hour treat once a week for 6 weeks, with plenty of time for speculation and general fandom-y shenanigans in between each ep, which I find fun with series where I have a big OTP/romance rooting interest). I kinda want to make this last season last a bit longer than the usual “binge and then move on after a week” mode I go into with shows that release all eps at once.

While shitposting about this srsbsns dilemma on twitter, a few of us came up with a half-joking, half-serious plan to just...kind of pretend the binge isn’t happening and see if we can actually ration ourselves to one episode a week, to make the final hours with the Mum crew last. Obviously I don’t want to tell people who are really looking forward to a binge on May 15 to not binge, like some sort of obnoxious ~~fandom dictator~, and honestly, I’m not at all sure I’ll actually stick to this plan myself (I’ll probably be lucky if I last about 2 weeks).

But I wanted to put it out there into the tumblr(mumblr?)verse as well as on twitter. My current plan is:

a) basically, ignore the fact that all s3 eps will be available at once on iPlayer and just watch one a week as they air on BBC2. they don’t exist. they aren’t real. they’re a figment of my imagination. etc. then

b) if/when I eventually give in (because spoilers are everywhere/everyone else is doing it/I’m too thirsty or...who knows), still posting about/rewatching each ep as it airs on BBC2 weekly, treating it like an enthusiastic appointment TV-esque group rewatch. speculation would be moot in this scenario but at least it’d be keeping some group sense of excitement going into June.

Honestly, I don’t know if this will work and I don’t want to try too hard to make it work if the rest of the (tiny) Mum fandom isn’t interested, but I figured I’d put it out there in the universe, in part because writing it out and getting a few other people tentatively onboard makes me more likely to actually do it.

Thoughts? Hopes and dreams for series 3? Excitement level for Catherine Walker returning to our screens one last time? Etc.

(cc: @afinpassing @missbergmans @kisstheviolets etc)

#mum #mum bbc #bbc mum #lesley manville #cathy x michael

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beingnico · 5 years

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After watching S3 of Mum I have so many feels

#bbc mum #mum bbc #cathy x michael

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inonesingleline · 5 years

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11 for cathy/michael??!?MS :D

Under a cut again for length, and you wouldn’t be blamed for wondering: dear lord how did she make even the snowball fight one angsty???

January, between S1 and S2. :)

“Thanks for doing this, Michael,” Cathy says with a touch of apology, although this is hardly the first or the slightest request she has made of him in the past year. The previous night’s snowstorm brought with it violent gusts of wind, ripping her garden shed door clean off its hinges. Finding it on the ground this morning, Michael was, naturally, her first call.

“You don’t have to thank me.” He glances up, but doesn’t quite meet her eye before turning back to his work again. “I like helping you.”

Cathy feels her face grow warm even in the freezing air. “It could have waited until spring, I know, or until Jason could find the time, but he’s over at Kelly’s all the time now, and I don’t think he wanted to be here this weekend at all,” she rambles, then laughs, slightly embarrassed – by what she said, what he said, the whole thing. “I probably could have done it myself, for that matter.”

He grunts a little as he hoists the door flush against the hinges, holding it in place with one hand as he picks up the screws Cathy is holding for him. “Nah, helps to have another set of hands.”

“If I weren’t here, you’d just use the window ledge,” she laughs again, her role in this not exactly the most demanding.

“You’re better company, though,” he says, his eyes intent on the task at hand.

She shrugs slightly, accepting this. It isn’t the request itself that’s embarrassing, of course; it never is. There is always some ready pretext, on her side or his, and so nobody stops to wonder why good old Michael is always so close by. But he isn’t just there to fix her shed. It is never just anything – a TV that needs hanging, yoghurts going bad. She sees that now, looking back on the last year, but doesn’t see any way to put a stop to it, to say only: Come over, will you, I’d like to see you.

She leans her back against the shed, looking blankly out at the garden. She isn’t very good company today anyway, but he’s kind to say so. He was kind to come at all, but then he always is. Tomorrow… she isn’t sure what she wants for tomorrow. Jason would be gone, preferring to keep his mind on other, happier things, and she understands. Perhaps she would visit the cemetery, as she hadn’t since that day, because what else does one do, really. She would probably prefer to spend the day alone when it came right down to it, or is prepared to. But she couldn’t have spent the whole weekend like that. Anyhow, she reflects, she is grateful.

“Cathy?” Michael prompts her, gently, but as if he has been trying to get her attention for a few moments. “Can I–?”

“Oh – of course,” she laughs, holding out her hand so he can take the remaining screws for the bottom hinge.

He fumbles to grab them all, his naked fingers brushing against her gloved palm. She smiles what she senses is a stupid, nervous smile, but he’s still not looking at her, so she only has to be embarrassed for herself. It feels wild to her that only a few weeks ago she had reached out for his hand and held it, wanted to go on sitting like that for an eternity really, nothing more, but certainly nothing less. Such a simple thing but it feels brave and even brazen to her now, and she isn’t sure when or if she’ll ever feel so bold again.

But this is not that, and today is not the day.

“The wood is starting to rot a bit in places,” Michael says, tightening the last screws. “It’s fine for now, but in a year or two we might want to get it replaced. You might.”

She smiles again to herself, not minding his presumption, charmed by his revision. Whatever else may or may not happen, it was a safe bet that a permanent fix for her shed, or any other need that may arise, in one year, in five, would be a matter of we. She enjoys the easy security of that, even as she’d prefer not to dwell on what exactly it means.

“I really don’t know what I’d do without you, Michael,” she says now that the job is done, and feels a sudden impulse to let her fingertips glance along his shoulder, just an inch or two beyond her reach.

He stands then, before she can really consider it, brushing his hands on his jeans and shrugging in his self-effacing way. “You’d manage.”

She clenches her eyes tight then, holding back sudden tears that had been threatening all day, tears she had invited Michael over, if she’s honest, to distract her from. Tomorrow, fine, but she can’t spend an entire weekend uselessly crying at every little irritation or reminder. She covers her eyes with her gloved hands for a moment, then wipes away the few tears she’d allowed to escape, letting out a long breath.

“Sorry,” she says, truly regretting having inspired the look of shock and concern he wore now. “I’m sorry. It’s just that’s something Dave said, near the end. He told me I’d manage.”

She had said to Dave, I don’t know what I’ll do without you. She had said, I don’t want to just manage. It was a rare moment of weakness at the time, when the only thing that seemed to hold any meaning for her was remaining strong for him. It takes her by surprise to have almost the exact same conversation now, with Michael – but this isn’t weakness. It is almost the opposite of that, now.

“I’m sorry, Cath,” he says, and it’s the look on his face that could really break her. All he wants in the world is to be strong for her, she knows that now, and he doesn’t even feel he has a right to. So he is there, and he waits, for a word, a sign, an invitation, and she doesn’t know how to offer him that much, or hasn’t, not since New Year’s Eve.

Certainly, she cannot today.

She nods, collecting herself, her manner now letting them both off the hook. There is no need to say it’s fine, it’s nothing; they both know what it is, and they are both going to let it go for now.

And he does, turning back to the door, testing it by opening and closing it a few times, first quickly, now slowly letting it fall into its frame. He is sure of his work, but thorough, determined nothing under his power will fail her.

She takes a few steps away, out into the garden, hands jammed into pockets, drawing freezing air into her lungs.

“It’s good, I think,” she hears him call out, satisfied. She closes her eyes again, smiling to herself, and silently agrees: Yes. It’s good.

She feels giddy with life all of a sudden, feeling now like that girl of twenty in those pictures they had found, cavorting on a beach with her best guy’s best friend without a care in the world. It is forty years later, their summer has turned to winter, but she feels just the same, and he is her best friend; oh forget, for a moment, the rest of it: he is hers. She bends over, gathering a handful of snow in her hands, compacting it into a tight ball.

“Oh, no,” he says laughing, holding up his hands in a gesture of innocence as she turns back to face him.

“Oh, yes,” she grins back, raising her arm in a fake-out first, giggling at the way he winces in anticipation.

“Don’t you dare throw that snowball,” he says, walking a few paces toward her, a mock-warning tone in his voice. It is clear he means: Or else.

Cathy, wanting very much to find out if he’ll follow through on his threat, pulls her arm back again and hurls it at him, landing in a cold, wet splat just against his coat collar and neck.

“God damn it!” he yells out, but he is laughing in earnest now, charging her and slipping a bit as he bends down to collect his own ammunition with his bare hands.

Cathy lets out a yelp and darts in the other direction, genuinely surprised by his speed, and soon feels a snowball pelt her hard in the back. “Hey!” she yells back, as if he has somehow violated their rules of engagement, ducking another snowball as she stoops to rearm herself.

He is too fast, and a third snowball comes whizzing by as she’s still packing hers into shape, grazing her cheek and hair. She tries to wing one back at him from this crouched position, but the angle and the sight of him charging at her again sends her off balance as soon as she releases it, getting one last direct hit in against his chest before she falls toppling and laughing into the snow.

Not expecting this, he struggles to slow himself before he runs directly into her, his feet giving way as he slides to a stop. He falls onto his knees, gasping and laughing too, mercilessly pressing one last handful of snow against her shoulder and pinning her down as she tries to right herself.

“I think I win,” he grins, giving up and laying down in the snow beside her.

“I think it’s a draw if we both end up knocked out,” she counters, relaxing back into the few inches of white cushion, feeling strangely warm.

“You’re right. I’m beat,” he agrees, letting out an exaggerated groan. “I’m an old man.”

She thinks, but does not say: But we’re alive. We’re here.

She does say, turning onto her side and propping her head up on her hand, “Really, thanks for being here today, Michael. I don’t just mean the shed. You know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” he says simply, and it’s all he needs to say. He’s the only one in the world who can know: not her particular loss, but a large share of it. They had both loved Dave, together, for forty years. And he didn’t want to be alone any more than she did.

She pulls herself up to sit now, but is in no rush to stand and move on from this moment, whatever it is. She feels a surge of that unknown bravery again, holding his hand out on the front garden wall, and another day, another time, she might have pushed a little further. She can imagine reaching over and taking his hand again. She can imagine him brushing the snow from her hair, and letting his hand rest there, softly, against her neck. And then… her imagination stalls from going much further. But some other alternate or future self knows what then, and the thought of it, just now, does not scare her.

Just now, it is enough to be alive, to be here, with him.

He is the one – exhausted of his own separate and similar thoughts, she is sure – who stands first, making a bit of a show of the strain as if to underline what an old man he is. He offers his hand to help her up – a polite, even necessary gesture, she doesn’t spring up from the ground as readily as she once did either, but she is sure he squeezes it ever so slightly before releasing it again.

They walk back toward her house, brushing caked-on snow as they go, laughing about the bruises they’re likely to find in the morning.

He pauses there at her back door, serious again for a moment, as if how they choose to cross that threshold will dictate how the rest of the day will go. “You wanna talk?” he asks, in that easy way of his, expecting nothing, but open to anything. He doesn’t have to say it for her to hear: About Dave. About tomorrow.

“Not really,” she shakes her head, giving him a playful but honest sort of grimace-smile.

He nods, and makes her another offer. “Wanna get pissed?”

“Yes,” she says, her eyes lighting up, brows raised. “That’s more like it.”

She knows she has a fridge full of his favorite beer, the terrible wine only she will drink, and various bottles left over from the holidays it would only be prudent to dispose of. In this, as with everything else, Michael will be a perfect help to her.

She steps inside and holds the door open for him, smiling.

#cathy x michael #mum #mum bbc #theoldgods #lol fanfic #THEY'RE SO DUMB???

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