#cameron also needs to shut the fuck she’s a fucking hypocrite
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everyone in the show being angry at WILSON during the tritter plotline is lowkey fucking insane
#like let’s all be astronomically serious here#he did nothing wrong ?????#genuinely if you’re entire life got shot to hell because of something your friend did . someone you TRUSTED did like why wouldn’t you#and house was going off the fucking rails too like . no i’m sorry wilson was completely right in this situation and this episode is pissing#me the fuck off#cameron also needs to shut the fuck she’s a fucking hypocrite#she would be angry at one her patients if they did the same thing as house#she would get clocked if it were me . wilson ur so much stronger than me baby#house#house md#houseposting#james wilson#lgbtq#lgbt
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party’s over
Part Two of Second best
warnings: cursing per usual, mentions of sex, hidden feelings, bad writing (the horror), drinking. mean rafe once again.
words: like 2.5k
also this picture what the fuck I’m in love
I'm coming over.
Rafe had sent the message ten minutes ago when Lola looked at her phone finally and her heart sank. And it only declined from there as both of them jumped slightly when her front door opened and slammed shut; her name bounced through the house. She looked at the boy in her bed with panic, jumping over him to grab a shirt that fell down to her thighs as she opened her bedroom door to see none other than Rafe Cameron stomping up the stairs and when he noticed her, “where the hell have you been?”
She frowned, crossing her arms in front of her to try and figure out what his problem was, “I was here.”
“And you couldn't answer your damned phone?”
Lola sighed deeply, rubbing her temples as she cut off his path to her occupied room, “get out.” she pointed back down the stairs and she swore there was a look of hurt on his face but it was replaced too quickly when there was a slight thud in her room. Lola cringed as rafe’s face was one of confusion, “what was that?”
Panic bubbled over in her chest as he pushed past her, “nothing rafe! It was nothing!” She pawed at his shirt to hold him back but when he opened the door, it certainly didn’t look like nothing. The low laugh that left him made her want to crawl up and die, “nothing lo?” the taunting in his voice as he looked from the half naked boy sitting up in her bed to her in only his shirt stung, “I get it now.”
“rafe-”
“this is why you had to leave last night, to fuck some guy you barely know? And you think I'm the problem? You're just a hypocritical whore-”
Someplace inside her stalled at the words while her mind refused to process them for a moment but Jack stood up, “easy,” he put himself between the two of them and Rafe snorted at the action, “calm the fuck down.” She swayed slightly in shock barely noticing Rafe give her one last look before walking away. Lola jumped when the front door slammed, her chest felt heavy as her eyes watered again.
Jack pulled her into his chest when her palms went to cover her eyes before her first choked sob shook her shoulders.
She hated Rafe Cameron in this moment.
~
“Lola,”
She looked anywhere but the blonde boy sitting across from her at the brunch restaurant he took her to, it had been a whole two days since her incident with rafe and still nothing had changed. Radio silence on both of their ends. So she looked up from her untouched plate of strawberry pancakes at last, “Topper,”
“Whats going on?” he asked lightheartedly enough that she smiled a bit, “having breakfast with my favorite friend,” she grinned back and he only shook his head with a small smile. But it didn’t last long when Topper was involved, “I talked to Rafe.”
“Did you?” she mumbled, stabbing a piece of her food mindlessly.
“He asked about high school.” Topper spoke as if he was also confused why his best friend had brought it up; to be fair Lola was even surprised Rafe did as she proposed.
“what did you tell him?” she asked looking up again. Topper shrugged, “the truth. He did have a tendency to leave us all behind for whatever girl he was seeing. You always got the worst of it, Lo” She swallowed, looking back down at a loss but Topper filled the silence, “he said you got into a fight too.”
A fight, Lola laughed slightly, “you mean, he stomped into my house and yelled at me? Called me whore?” she leaned back and observed Topper's surprised expression; apparently his best friend left out some details.
The sweet boy in front of her frowned as if angry at his friend. “I didn’t know, Lola. He didn’t tell me that.” She only shook her head and told him it was fine before stabbing a piece of her pancake and plopping it into her mouth. When she swallowed Topper was still staring at her and she sighed, “it’s okay, top. Let’s just enjoy our day.”
~
“this is ridiculous. let’s just go inside,” Sadie whined, looking at the crowded house party. Lola just stared at the house from the street, biting her nails anxiously, “who cares if he’s here! Let's just get shitfaced and forget about him.”
Lola rolled her eyes finally, “a way with words, Sadie, really.” But nodded finally with a determined sigh, “let's do it.”
The girls stayed true to their words evidently as Sadie and Lola danced on top of each other in the packed living room, laughing and singing at the top of their lungs.
“Look!” Sadie nodded somewhere behind Lola and when she turned around, there was an attractive dark haired boy watching her. He nodded at her slightly with a smirk when Lola met his eyes; she gasped and turned back around with wide eyes, “Sadie!”
“Lola!” Her friend laughed, “He’s totally into you. Go talk to him.”
“I can’t,” she shook her head but couldn’t help the feeling of a thrill that someone wanted her. There was no sign of her usual friends here and it was refreshing to not be watched, Sadie’s eyes softened slightly understanding her hesitation. So she let it go with a shrug, “Lets go get another drink?”
Lola nodded, pushing her hair away from her face and making her way to the kitchen, discreetly stealing seltzers from the fridge with a sign that blatantly said ‘do not enter.’
“Can I help you ladies with anything?” The same boy was now leaning against the door frame with a knowing smirk on his lips. Lola swallowed, feeling slightly caught but shook her head with a grin as Sadie popped the tab of her drink as the sound filled the room.
He was roguishly handsome, his almost black hair slightly falling in his face, “Well, considering this is my house,” he trailed off, looking pointedly at Sadie who choked on her drink and the grin fell right off of Lola’s face.
“Fuck- sorry.” Sadie cringed slightly with a grimace and the boy just burst into laughter as the two girls still stood frozen.
“Forget it, keep the drinks.” he looked Lola over once more before smiling at Sadie. Both of their cheeks slightly flushed, still confused. And Sadie, ever the loud mouth, “I’ve never seen you before. You said this is your house?” She asked maybe a little too aggressively and he raised his eyebrows at her brashness. Lola hissed her name slightly at the girl, embarrassed, “Sorry,” she sighed.
He only shrugged, “We just moved here from the mainland.” It made sense, he knew a good amount of people but neither of them had met him before. Both of the girls nodded in understanding before Sadie smiled wide, “Welcome to the island then!” grabbing her stolen drink and walking past him, she clinked her can with his on the way out, leaving Lola alone with him. The wink Sadie sent over her shoulder had Lola burning up as the boy chuckled slightly, “I like her.”
“I’m sure she’d love to hear that.” Lola sipped her drink, anything to take the edge off as he watched her. She had flirted with boys before, hooked up with a few over the years but it had been awhile and to be honest; she had grown comfortable with Jack and her ongoing feud with Rafe.
So she would try, “What's your name? She asked sweetly and he cocked his head slightly, playing with her, “You come to my party and don’t even know my name?”
She playfully rolled her eyes, “I’m Lola,” The corner of his mouth quirked up, “I know.” She frowned, feeling defensive all of the sudden and it must have displayed on her face because he pushed off the wall and walked fully into the kitchen, “Nothing bad,” He shrugged now right in front of her, “It’s hard not to hear about you when you’re with Cameron.”
Lola nodded to herself, understanding how people knew her but it made her irrationally irritated in this moment, “I’m not with Rafe.” It might have come out too aggressively because he held up his hands in faux defense and an easy going smile, “That’s not what it looks like,” he shrugged and she grit her teeth.
“I’m. not.”
“Fair enough,” He watched her still and Lola shifted uneasily, “Aiden.”
“What?” her eyebrows furrowed.
He grinned, “My name. Aiden Carter.”
She had heard of his last name here and there but nothing substantial, obviously his family was very well off just by looking at his house that rivaled her own.
“Well, Aiden, as riveting as this has been, I'd rather get back to the party.” She copied Sadie on her exit and tapped her can on his with a playful eye roll, “See you around.” She added with a little smile over her shoulder.
Lola sifted through the crowd until a body slammed into hers with a little squeal in her ear, “Lo! He’s so hot!”
“Jesus christ, Sades.” Lola laughed slightly, steadying the two of them. Sadie only giggled manically before pulling her towards the beer pong table that was set up as Lola groaned, they weren't necessarily bad at it but both of them always ended up belligerently fucked up. They took their drinks more seriously than others, sipping their drinks every time their opponent made a cup; as you should, Sadie always said.
So the two girls were thrown into a new game against two boys they went to school with that seemed to take the actual game way too seriously. And like clockwork, Lola and Sadie lost, stumbling away from the table both leaning against one another.
“I need to pee!” Sadie spoke in her ear and Lola nodded but then groaned at the line to the downstairs bathroom, “Let's go upstairs.” Lola whispered with a sly smile and a finger over her lips, “Secretly!” Sadie giggled at the slurred words as both girls tried to be as inconspicuous as possible.
“Third door on the right,” Lola gasped dramatically, turning around on the staircase and almost tumbling back down to see Aiden, “The bathroom.” he nodded, looking slightly concerned but was amused nonetheless. Lola saluted him as if they were on a mission as Sadie tugged them upstairs.
“He’s nice.” Lola leaned against the sink as Sadie pulled down her skirt with a snort, “Yeah he probably wants to fuck you.”
“Why wouldn’t he want to fuck you?” Lola cocked an eyebrow as Sadie scoffed but left it alone. Lola sighed, the room beginning to spin as she realized she definitely drank one too many and didn't realize it, “Oh god,” Her hand covered her mouth, Sadie now washing her hands looked at her with knowing concern.
“Lo,” She murmured, “Just relax.” Her heavyweight best friend rested a hand on her back as Lola tried to breath through the feeling of impending doom as her stomach churned. Sadie only took the hair tie off her own hand and pulled Lola’s hair back in a low bun, “Just tell me what you want me to do. I can call Rafe or Topper or Kelce.” Lola’s head immediately shook back and forth but the movement sent her over the edge as Sadie helped her fall in front of the toilet as she threw up all of the alcohol.
“You’re getting better at this.” Sadie laughed as she tried to lighten the mood and Lola only groaned, leaning back on her heels, a sheen of sweat on her skin now. Lola sighed, still feeling sick, “I miss him.” Her lip wobbled slightly and her friend only sighed, pulling her hair back when she threw up again, “I know.”
Unbeknownst to Sadie, Lola had pulled out her phone and sent scrambled messages to Rafe, Topper, Eve, and Jack. She could barely read herself and just slid the phone back in her pocket before Sadie noticed.
A few moments later, Lola was laying on the cool ground, counting her breaths as Sadie continuously filled up the little paper cups that were in the bathroom with water and handed them to her, “I’m too drunk for this,” A knock at the door make Lola’s head pop up and Sadie turned to the door.
“Is everything okay?” Aiden’s voice sounded from the other side and Lola let out a soft groan as Sadie cracked open the door with a grimace, “I’m sorry,” The boy only pushed past her and they both looked down at Lola who laid a hand over her eyes, “Just kill me now. Leave me here to die.”
“Shut up,” Sadie kicked her leg in annoyance but Aiden just looked at both of them in exasperation, “Is someone coming to get you?” He asked, crossing his arms and Lola groaned again, “Don’t you dare call him, Sade. He hates me!”
“Oh my god,” Sadie mumbled as she spotted a tear on her friend's cheek. Aiden still stood there and Lola looked up at him, “Can’t we stay here? This house is huge, don't be greedy with your rooms,” Aiden coughed out a slight laugh, “Yeah that’s fine.” He nodded, looking back and forth between the two of them.
“C’mon Lo,” Sadie bent down to help the girl sit up to no avail until Aiden bent down and grabbed her around the waist and over his shoulder. Lola let out a giggle as she saw Sadie upside down as they entered a new room with a huge bed. Her head ached when Aiden dumped her on the bed and she bounced, “Thanks,” She deadpanned rubbing her forehead. Sadie turned to the boy as Lola zoned out again, pulling out her phone to faintly see the messages coming through.
Her messages to Topper included,
Lo: Hi top! we can still be friends without rafe right? i love u
Top: of course, lo. where are you?
Lo: party party
Top: call me
Lo: no xx
And then Eve who only laughed and asked for pictures. Jack had not responded just yet but her messages to Rafe made her sit up slightly, panic in her chest.
Lo: i miss u even tho you were so mean to me
Lo: are we even speaking?
Rafe: what’s wrong with you
Her eyes welled up as her drunken mind took it the wrong way,
Lo: i miss you, asshole.
Rafe: where are you?
Lola stalled as she looked at Sadie and Aiden still talking in the doorway but her phone began to ring in her hands. Her eyes widened as she saw Rafe’s contact pop up. Sadie narrowed her eyes but shrugged, “Answer it.” She pulled Aiden out of the room and closed the door behind her with a wink.
Lola hesitated before putting the phone to her ear, “Hello?” she mumbled, feeling shy all of the sudden. Rafe’s harsh voice boomed through the phone compared to her soft voice-
“Have you been drinking?”
Lola rolled her eyes at the only thing he said, “umm, yes, but-
Rafe cut her off, “Where are you?” the rustling around in the background made her uneasy
“Rafe-”
“What the fuck are you doing there?” He must have looked at her location that they shared with one another, Lola frowned, “Stop yelling at me,”
“I’m not yelling at you.” Rafe huffed and she heard the sound of his car starting, “I’m coming to get you,”
x
LOL so part three is the final part and is written as well. So we’ll see again :)
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everything i don’t know
on wattpad
CHAPTER 4:
I can finally get out of this house. It’s only for a few hours, but it’s better to be a step ahead, and I’m not gonna miss my chance to enjoy the fresh air of the island…
I finish adjusting my outfit and leave my room to rejoin my parents at the first floor, then my sister arrive too. She’s perfect, as usual, with her beautiful red hair and her elegant style. She just always is the one that my parents want me to be, and I really think that sometimes she likes it when they tell me that I should dress like her, but it’s Alyssa.
“Do you know where are we going, young girl?” Asks my mom while I’m checking my phone, waiting for Isaac to come. “Yes, sure,” I look up and shrug, “to the restaurant. What’s the matter?”.
“You should dress up correctly, we aren’t some of these parents who can’t afford a pretty dress for their daughter. Why don’t you put a dress on?”
“Mom, we only go to the restaurant, it’s not like it was an event or some chic parties. But next time I’ll try, promise.”
“Everything that we do does matter. People have to take us seriously. Go put a dress on now please.” My father come back from one of his million business calls. “Dad, please, I don’t want to-”
“You don’t have to discuss this decision. Just listen, we have to go.”
I slightly sigh and turn toward the stairs to climb it and get to my room to look into my closet and grab my favorite one, a simple blue short dress before putting it on. I don’t particularly have a problem with being well dressed but I feel like I’m mocking the people who can’t afford all this get-up when I put something really formal just to go to the restaurant…
I look at myself in the mirror and fake a smile. You can do it Thara, it’s only for a few hours, and it’s your favorite dress, I think as Dad yell my name from the first ground.
I don’t answer, brush my hair so it’s softer and perfume myself a little more. They should be happy of what they see now. Something’s missing tho… my eyes observe the makeup that I got and my eyeliner attract my regard. I decide to do a fine line on each one of my eyes, and I’m ready.
I lay my phone in my black purse, inhale and come back to my parents. They all inspect me and this kind of reaction’s pretty annoying for me, but I’m used to it.
“Can we go now?” I ask while opening the door to get out and prevent them from staring at me this way. “Sure, let’s go.”
“You look stunning Thara, you really should be more dressing up like this.” Says my mom when she starts walking next to me. “Thank you.”
“Being dressed up don’t prevent you from smiling, you should take a leaf out of your sister’s book.”
“Leave her alone OK.” My sister come to my defense and take my hand in hers. “I just say that she could be more enthusiastic than how she is-”
“Shut the hell up Isaac.”
“Kids, don’t make me a scene now and let’s have a good time, OK. Thara, pay attention to your language please, it’s not the language expected from you.”
I apologize and we arrive in front of the car. I give a faint smile to the man who opens me the car door before sitting into the black backseat. The leather make me shivering, and everything’s so dark on the inside, it’s like the night came in a minute.
The chauffeur starts the car, and we’re finally getting out of this house. This restaurant trip is the first thing that we do together since the beginning of this summer. They all seem to be so occupied that they always forgot our diner, or our walk on the beach, until today.
Once in the restaurant, a waiter guide us through the room and bring us at a table in a corner. We all take place and I quickly tie my hair up in a bun before my Dad look daggers at me. I do my best to ignore this look when my mind make me remember about the gun.
I can’t stop thinking about it. Since when does he need a fucking gun? And mostly, did he already used it? This question don’t wanna leave me, and every time I look at him in the eyes I just freak out. My Dad knows everything and if he notices that I get weird with him, he’s gonna questioning me until I “confess”.
“What do you want darling?” Asks my Mom while I get lost in my mind. I would prefer to be at the beach and eat burgers to be honest… “Hum, I don’t know, a chicken salad’s good I guess. I’m not hungry, I just wanna hang out at the beach so…”
“Sure?” Alyssa looks at me and I smile to agree.
We order, and the courses are quickly in front of us. I eat in less than fifteen minute. My impatience is killing me, and also my parents apparently. They take their time, talk business, and anyone of us is talking about something cool.
“Did you choose your options for next year sweetheart?” Dad brings some vegetables to his mouth while looking at me.
“Hum, I...” I shrug and look around to escape from this question. “I didn’t really think about it yet but like I told you, I’m not sure I wanna go to college…”
“And we already answered that it wasn’t an option.”
“But you can’t send me to college without my permission.”
“We’re doing whatever we want, we are your parents, darling.” My Mom fakes a smile at me and I grit my teeth.
I sigh and stand up before excusing myself and rapidly reach the bathroom. I arrive in the big room full of mirrors and decide to put a little bit of water on my cheeks. I feel so bad to be so controlled by them. I would like to have a talk with them, to discuss like adults about my future, not having to listen to their orders.
Dad certainly would like me to work for the vineyard, with him and Isaac. The kind of work where you’re staying in an office all day and come back at home to live a boring life. I don’t like this kinda work, I wanna be outside, feel the warmth of the sun all day and work for something useful. I wanna be useful for the Outer Banks.
My dream job would be to work with sea animals, it would be the goal of my like, working around dolphins, turtles, whales or sharks and fishes, I would love it. There’s a real world in the sea, and we don’t see it until we get interested in it. I just would to protect these fragile world...
The thing is, I don’t know yet if I wanna go to college and study marine biology or find a refuge or an association so volunteer can teach me everything they know. College isn’t gonna make me explore sea depth unlike associations or refuge, if I’m lucky.
I come back with my dear imperfect family and sit to wait until the end of the lunch so we can go to the beach, and feel the sun, and listen to the sea.
~
It’s the next day and tonight’s gonna be a really good moment, because we’re invite, like everyone on the island, pogues and kooks, at Cameron’s house. Why? Because every year we’re celebrating the union between people. I know, it’s completely hypocrite and kind of disgusting to know that everyone is playing a role to show that they’re perfect, kind, smart and everything.
Anyway, the party’s at 8pm, it’s 6pm and I didn’t start to prepare. I’m chilling since at least an hour and a half, checking my phone, walking around impatiently. Tonight, nobody’s gonna tell me what do I have to do, how do I have to act and with who do I have to talk, because it’s union and love.
Love’s big word but, they’re claiming that it’s a love relationship between kooks and pogues. It isn’t, of course, but that’s great, I’m so happy and I can’t wait. Tonight I have the chance to talk to Sarah and get everything clear with her. I hope she’s gonna forgive me…
“Babe! Did you choose what dress are you gonna wear tonight?” Alyssa’s asking from her room. “Yeah, I’m almost ready. What ‘bout you?”
“What did you choose?” She suddenly appears behind my door and enters to let herself fall on my bed. “Look, I didn’t even know this dress was in my closet but I love it.” I bring the dress that I found before the story of the gun and she smiles while observing it before standing up and take it from me. “Are you sure?”.
I frown, confused, and look at the dress. “Yeah. Is it too much with the sparkles and everything?”
“No. It’s not enough, do you have something else?”
“You kiddin’ me? This is enough for me.” Shes raises her eyebrows while looking back at me, surprised, even shook. “What, there’s a lot of sparkles, and it’s a long dress.”
“But nobody’s gonna notice you. You need a more puffy dress so-”
“No no no, that’s perfect for me if I’m invisible, leave me alone so I can put it on.”
“Babe how can you kick me out?” She asks with a fake sad voice and I sigh while smiling. “C’mon Aly, leave me alone girl!” We laugh and she gives up so I’m alone in my room. I put the dress on and lock myself in the bathroom. OK, I won’t leave this room until I’m ready, even if it takes the two hours left before the beginning of the celebration.
I turn on my speaker and put music so loud that I don’t hear anything else. And Dad’s not gonna tell me anything because he’s not here. And my mother doesn’t care that much. Anyway they’re pissed off against me since the pogue thing. The only one who could annoy me is Isaac, but I’m locked and I don’t hear nothing so I’m not gonna hear him and his complaining.
I start by the makeup, while dancing and singing in front of my mirror, and then I hear someone’s knocking when the song ends. I open and Alyssa’s coming in, dressed up. I know what does that means. Let’s sing and dance in wild dresses for two hours straight…
~
We’re all ready, and to be honest we took two hours and I only put mascara, eyeliner, a bit of blush and a translucent gloss. That’s it. And we just arrived at Sarah’s house, I can’t wait to have a talk with her, because I’m sure I can ask Alyssa to go and tell her to meet me at the bathroom or something.
I don’t know why am I so excited about tonight, it’s maybe because my life isn’t that fun, so when there’s a party that’s kinda cool. Anyway we’re warmly welcomed by Sarah’s parents, and they come with us to the garden, the big garden where everyone’s gossiping, drinking champagne and acting perfect.
I take the hand of Alyssa’s in mine and take her away so the parents aren’t hearing us.
“OK, I have a mission for you, and I’m serious. Can you please go talk to Sarah and tell her I’m waiting for her at the bathroom. And also tell that it’s serious like, I really want to, and don’t tell the parents.”
“What, why do you wanna talk to her, she’s-”
“My friend. She’s my friend and I love her so much, and since we can’t talk I never had the chance to explain her what happened.”
“And when?”
“Right now, go.”
She looks at me, exasperate by my person, and I smile so she does the same and search for the blond to go talk to her. I come back to my parents and tell them I have to go to the bathroom. They don’t seem to believe me but I don’t care, Sarah’s my best friend, we’ve been known each other for years. They’re not gonna keep me away from her for the eternity.
So I wait, five, or ten minutes, and the door eventually open before letting her coming in. We look at each other for a moment and I sadly frown before walking towards her so I can take her n my arms. She responds to my hug and I smile, relieved.
“I’m so sorry for everything and I didn’t mean to stop talking to you overnight.”
“You owe me an explanation tho babe.”
“I know.”
We let go each other and I sigh.
“It’s kinda simple, you know as well as me that my parents hate the pogues, and when they found out that you were hanging with them they just forced me to delete your phone number and forget you, but I never did, of course.” I let out a little nervous laugh.
“What, really? They really have a problem with pogues, I mean, they’re human, not monsters.”
“Yeah, I know…”
“Give me your phone, gonna write my number so we can talk again.”
I give her my phone and we continue to talk for sometimes before someone literally comes in and caught us. It’s actually her mom, and of based on how she’s, she’s not gonna tell my parents that we talked. I hope so…
She advises us to come back and we agree. At least we have our phones, and maybe I will have the chance to go with her at some moments of the evening. My parents won’t be able to keep their eyes on me all along the night.
“I’m so happy to talk to you again.” She says before hugging me. “Me too babe, I missed you so much.”
“Oh, also, you owe me an explanation about something else, but we talk ‘bout it by text, love you.” She gets out of the bathroom first. “Hum, yeah, OK, even if I don’t know what you’re talking about, love you too. You look amazing.”
“You too babe.” She turns towards me and send me a kiss.
We laugh and I get out of the bathroom at my turn. I come back with my parents again and smile at Alyssa when she shrugs. A waiter is walking through the people and distribute some glasses of champagne, I take two, for me and my amazing sis.
“Cheers! I laugh happily and she does the same.” My parents seem… cold with me. Or maybe they’re also like that with Aly and Isaac. All they have in mind is business, every time.
I spend my night drinking a lot champagne, talking, dancing and singing with Aly, and it’s a really good evening. Moreover, we’re texting with Sarah, everything’s perfect. The only boring thing is this man who’s doing a speech on love between people and everything, even if everyone of us know that war between pogues and kooks isn’t gonna end up that easily…
Moreover, I think I can put my parents in the list of boring things. They didn’t talk to me since we’re here, and I don’t even know why. Certainly because of what happened with this pogue and Nate… if only he didn’t tell everyone what happened, they would never have known.
I keep looking at them, smiling at everyone and ignoring me, and it makes me feel so bad, and abandoned, and it reminds me of everything they’re doing to keep me away from nobody even when I’m always acting like they want. I listen to their orders, I’m smiling to people that I don’t know because it’s polite, I try to do my best every time and it feels like they never notice.
It’s time for changes.
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okay so i finally finished watching love is blind and i have some THOUGHTS
cameron is the sweetest guy in the WORLD and everyone’s right like he is the epitome of calm ??? his voice ?? his persona?? he’s just like The Chill Scientist and the way he was crying when lauren walked down that aisle ?????? MA’AM you just KNOW it was so real for him ??? I HAVE MAD RESPECT for how he handled meeting lauren’s dad for the first time too??? THE CLASS??
i am LIVING for lauren’s family and how tight-knit everybody is (couldn’t help thinking how POCs will always have better family dynamics i said what i said) and i was BAWLING my eyes out when her father saw her in her wedding dress??? i hate her baby voice though and her “oh my god that’s sO cuUuUuUute” @ everything like shh no
listen i keep forgetting kenny and kelly were even there in mexico but after that last episode, UMMMMM KENNY DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER
say what you want to make yourself feel better kelly but you led the poor guy on and you can’t even admit it to yourself. lmao this chick is really out here talking about how she’s not as physically attracted to him as he is to her lmaoooo full of yourself much??? also like i don’t get it because she said the physical attraction was DEFINITELY there in mexico so idk what she’s going on about ????? talking about how she’s more into brunettes like okay you said you love him and call him your soulmate but won’t marry him because of his hair color?? LMAOOOOO
kenny and kelly were literally the ones with families who were the quickest to get on board and YET LMAOOOOO kelly sucks. i said what i said
jessica is hands down one of the most annoying people i’ve ever had to watch on reality tv like the urge to literally skip all her scenes with mark was STRONG and she should STOP drinking because she’s a fucking mess. absolutely rude and disrespectful (not just when she’s drunk) and she’s just ???? NO. i like her even less than i like kelly and that’s saying something. also her constantly trying to initiate things with barnett like girl you’re EMBARRASSING yourself. i’m pretty sure she just stuck around for her 10 seconds of fame. she’s a sad, sad, sad woman. ALSO HER FORCED BABY VOICE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IT MADE ME CRINGE SO MUCH LIKE SHUT UP like did y’all notice that by the end of the show, her voice went way deeper LMAOOO
mark is so sweet and so patient and so loyal but i agree like he related everything to his mom and it was a TAD creepy and he keeps saying such chliche things but he means well
i genuinely did not think amber and barnett would actually end up getting married ??? but they did ??? do i see them lasting in the long run though?? lol nope !!! honestly i wouldn’t wanna marry amber like i’m sorry but her grilling him and making him choose a side between her and his family was just plain uncomfortable to see. she’s so aggressive and all over barnett and i was just like ‘girl STOP. respect yourself please. jesus’
barnett was a total fuckboy at first which i understood because he’s the best looking guy in the show and he is pretty funny and he knows all that but i appreciate that he didn’t do anything even when messica was drunkenly draping herself all over him
damian is a SCARY dude okay i don’t think he’s attractive at all and i just............ he seems like he’d be a really controlling boyfriend/husband like he wants things to go his way and when it doesn’t, he like tries to invalidate the other person’s feelings. i wish he had been paired up with someone a bit more emotionally mature so we can see if that’s actually who he is or if it’s a just reaction to someone as childish as giannina but oh well
giannina is honestly so emotionally immature, so hot and cold, and when she feels an argument isn’t going her way, she runs away. she is also very hypocritical at times like with getting angry at damian for looking at his phone when she does the same thing. i liked her at first, and i appreciate her honesty and her realness, but she doesn’t need a boyfriend. she needs a sugar daddy. she’s honestly a brat and by the time the show was over, i was done with her. what happened with her at the altar was embarrassing af though and i do feel for her and she’s pretty af but.................... it’s a no from me dawg
#therefore i conclude#this show is messy af and i love reality tv but this was so cringey#still watched it tho but i'm relieved it's OVER save for the reunion episode which i'm actually excited to see tbh#love is blind#love is blind netflix#hush elle#love is blind spoilers
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For CAS :) : 1, 3, 5, 34, 49. For Renee: 4, 8, 16, 25, 5, 1, 49. For Alister: 5, 9, 10, 13, 17, 18, 44. For Cameron: 5, 1, 11, 18, 21, 25, 49. For Rory: 1, 3, 5, 18, 23 (HMMMM), 34, 49.
.oh no
Cas:
1) fuckin uhhhhh. Call him a monster. idk why that would shut ANYONE up, but here he is.3) The burns on his back, probably? Or maybe Kate clawing at said burns. 5) surface fear: Getting trapped with Kate again, seeing as it's fairly obvious to everyone he's terrified of the idea. Repressed fear: fuckin uhhh, being alone. Everyone knows that, too, but he thinks it's a secret. Deep fear: The person who killed all those people is ACTUALLY the real him, and he's just deluding himself into thinking he couldn't control himself. 34) Yes, once or twice. It doesn't really do anything for him.49) If Cas were put in a situation where he'd have to go back to being Kate's prisoner, even temporarily, he'd absolutely 100% rather be dead.
Renee:
4) Maybe a nightmare where her loved ones are being used to bait her, and she's powerless to stop it. They're being picked off one by one and she fails to reach them every single time. She somehow knows it could've been prevented if she hadn't run away from Avery.8) Loud noises at night, being burned (even by something like a tea kettle), small spaces.16) Her mother, obviously. Also anyone whomst thirsts after her love interest(s) 25) Rylie. She seems perfectly friendly and supportive when you're on her side. 5) Surface Fear: she's afraid of losing the people she cares about and is openly protective. Repressed Fear: Being caught by Avery, but she does NOT want to admit she's still scared of him. Deep Fear: Been cast aside because she's too difficult to handle.1) Depending on who says it, call her a hypocrite. It's usually true.49) She'd rather die than go back to making a living off of hurting people.
Alister:
5) Surface fear: Cameron's safety his priority so obviously he doesn't want anything to happen to him. Or any of the squad for that matter. Repressed Fear: His father. It's not easy to tell but the guy makes him uncomfortable for SOME reason. Deep fear: Not being needed. He has to be relied on.9) He has a blind spot, which he's adjusted to but yeah it can get in the way and annoys him10) I'm going to put down being bad at dealing w/ his own feelings and also interacting with people and maintaining relationships. 13) Wrath?? edge. 17) Clicking. Constant clicking. 18) Licorice, bananas, mayo (millenial ass man...), tomatoes, any overly sweet juice. Like say, sunny D or Caprisun. Olives. Coffee that's too sweet. Black coffee. 44) Sleep. Like, any at all would be nice.
Cameron:
5) Surface fear: God, idk... dying? The people he loves dying? Death in general. Repressed Fear: Pain, torture, being hurt or injured. He tries to act like he can take it b/c everyone around him does but he's 16 and would rather not. Deep Fear: Being a huge ass burden to everyone around him. 1) Wouldn't I fucking like to know. uhhhhh... let's go with "useless" 11) Anger, recklessness, jealousy.... yeah, he does. he has a lot.18) Black tea, kombucha, any milk subsitute, grapes. He's less picky than his brother apparently.21) Being ignored, being left out of the loop, not knowing if someone is mad at him or not. thanks, cameron's evil mom.25) Honestly? Not really. Unless you count his parents, but like I don't.49) Idk, maybe if everyone died? If he lost his mobility? Or, like, if he was the one his dad decided to sell smh.
Rory: 1) Idk if anything could. Maybe if it were someone she likes venomously calling her a whore. 3) God, there isn't much that's more painful than being burned so that's taking the cake every time. 5) Surface fear: Lucas. It's transparent, she doesn't like being near him. Repressed fear: Men. Even if she knows them well it takes her awhile to feel comfortable being by herself with them. Deep fear: That being with Lucas was her fault, that she liked it.18) Cotton candy, whole wheat bread, brussel sprouts, cream soda. 23) Yes. a lot. 34) Yeah. It could happen again if she really spiraled.49) If she were stuck with Lucas again she'd rather be dead. Also, if she were left completely alone tbch.
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