Okay so here’s my pitch for the season 3 cold open-

We open to a close up of Stede’s face, he’s clearly concentrating, he’s sweating a little, and covered in blood. It’s pretty clear as we pan out to a shoulder shot that he just killed someone. He looks very sexy about it.

We switch to a close up of Ed’s face, sweaty, clearly has just been fucked. Maybe his top button is done up wrong. Who knows.

The shot pans out and we start hearing their conversation. They are outside the inn, digging up Izzy (stick with me)- they’re talking about how silly they feel for just now realizing this is the problem- OF COURSE Izzy has been so mad, they didn’t bury him with his ring! How silly of them! And they didn’t even notice until someone tried to rob them and Stede killed the robber (and they fucked about it). THAT must be why Izzy won’t stop haunting them. They tuck the ring into his breast pocket and start to rebury him.

Next shot- we find out that they think Izzy has been haunting them because of a the ~weird happenings~ at the Inn. The haunting does not stop after they bury the ring. This part of the episode starts very creepy, real horror movie vibes. However, we find out through the course of the episode that what they think is a haunting is just two whim prone chuckleheads with no experience running an Inn.

“All of the produce mysteriously went bad!” - Stede, whose experience with food preparation is putting marmalade on toast just left them too close to the fire and the heat did what it does to produce.

“The room keys keep going missing!” Nope. Ed simply cannot remember where he put them.

“The desk bell keeps ringing at night but there is no one there!” It’s buttons the seagull fucking with them.

They both think they’re responsible for the haunting and having a crisis about it. Idk, dealers choice about what they feel guilty about.

They are losing their fucking shit over this haunting. Maybe Izzy shows up once or twice in a Badminton style memory ghost.

We pan back to The Revenge. It’s a total parallel to what happened with the red suit.

They also think they are being haunted by Izzy.

The word “twat” keeps appearing carved into random places aboard the ship. Frenchie’s peanut allergy is back full swing. They keep sailing into storms by accident. Etc

They set sail for the Inn, desperate to ask Ed to control the ghost of his dead best friend or burn the body, anything to get rid of this fucking ghost.

It’s Jim fucking with them and dumb luck. (Except for the storm thing, it’s just impossible for anyone to read the weather as well as Ed)

They all meet up at the Inn, and now we have a Scooby Doo style episode where the ghost was the friendship and character growth we made along the way.

And then for an extra layer of comedy, maybe at the end of the season we see Izzy’s ghost just sort of old man loitering around the ship because he didn’t want to leave what I am affectionately deeming his kids.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

if buttons can turn into a bird…izzy can come back. if we’re REALLY going nuts…let’s think about how buttons the bird landed on izzy’s grave in the last shot…just saying

Goat Buttons confirmed. He had to work his way up to seagull

He probably came back to ask if they had any other vessels, then realised no one could understand him in goat form.

I wonder if anyone else is STILL half waiting for a Buttons fake-out. In the episode, I thought the joke was going to be Buttons got snatched away in the middle of the ritual and didn't actually turn into that bird, who is actually just a random passing seagull. I know the actor isn't coming back but I'm wary of a rug pull...👀

Now that we know that magic is real and confirmed in the ofmd universe Buttons really did hex Calico Jack and he really could talk to Karl and Olivia. For all we know Buttons could actually tell that the rabbit was intelligent.

I want an episode in season 3 all from buttons the seagull’s perspective where he sees all the secrets and goings on of both the inn and the revenge.

I'm hoping for buttons and the sea to be the first couple who visit the inn, like seagull!Buttons just drags in buckets of seawater, and when Stede and Ed finally give him a room in exchange for random beach stuff, he keeps sneaking in more and more seawater that it just floods the inn.

Can I just say that when Stede tells Ed “stay right here, I’ll be right back” and then RUNS INTO THE DARK JUNGLE ALONE my heart STOPPED at how much this echoed their separation at the end of s1e8 and did not start beating again until Stede returned and finally (FINALLY!!!!!) came up with a non-idiotic idea to RUN INTO THE DARK JUNGLE AT NIGHT TOGETHER!!!!! 😰😫🥹 omggg people CAN change (into sea birds)

ok so guys hear me out izzy hurt I wont deny that it stung so much like rubbing salt in the wound and watching someone carve out an organ and look at it like a Shakespearean skull in front of you, but I do believe that his death is what makes room for season three I don’t like it, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense again this was not a happy death. This was not a fun experience, but that being said, if I do feel like it is going to become the period in Ed sentence about pirating again hear me out here because we all know that for stede being able to be OK with his family doing their own thing without it being an abandonment is really important for him and Ed being able to fully move on from that part of his life and just be Ed is thoroughly his whole arc so I do believe that the season was always going to end with the two of them separated from the rest of the crew to do their own thing which is why I think avenging Izzy is going to be what drives them back out to the sea for season three  because if you think about it stede only has one big priority he has a lot of little priorities, but if you boil it down to one thing it’s staying with Ed and Ed is tired of pirating so they were always going to retire, one way, or the other, but without enough of a motivation they weren’t going to go back I think in season three we’re going to be grappling a lot with the end of the golden age of piracy but I feel like it’s going to be avenging Izzy whatever that means and then building a community around their inn.

But then again, who am I to speculate season two was nothing that I expected of it. It hurt me and made me feel so much and I loved it. I’m sad.  and hopeful for whatever season three might be hell maybe we will end up with sea witch buttons doing some necromancy I’d enjoy that. 

Down in the Ol’ Gravy Basket

#ofmd #ourflagmeansdeath #buttons #karlisthebird #izzyhands #israelhands #seawitch #gravybasket

The only reasons I can think of for Frenchie being completely cut out of the shot during Izzy's death scene:

He was so overcome with grief that he excused himself so the trauma box would not burst open

He went running to grab Auntie's spellbook and flipped to "reversing death" and "summoning sea witches"

The way I was lowkey not entirely wrong about this???

Our Flag Means Death S2 – Impossible Birds & Red Flags

So the fact that The Little Mermaid, a tragedy about unrequited love, is being alluded to in a story about reciprocated love between two men has me so emotional. Powerful scene.

In no particular order, some of my favorite Buttons moments.