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#butt breathing
anticapitalistclown · 1 month
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sometimes I forget that Samuel has his ass tattooed
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skyloftian-nutcase · 8 months
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yeah, nah, sorry totk
Guardians are infinitely scarier than gloom hands
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thechaoticdruid · 2 months
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That's it! I'm making another Asstarion appreciation post. I will not allow the slander of people calling him flat to stand.
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Do you not see the curve of them cheeks!?
I might just mod BG3 just so I can get good pictures of this. No one calls my bby flat!
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nyankoizumi · 1 year
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Who needs normal robot replacements with arms like these?
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Meet The Dark Lord 2.0. It's body was severely torn by The Second Coming, but with a little bit of technology, spider children and pure spite it turned himself into an eldritch horror. Good for him!
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nkogneatho · 2 months
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my ass fat and my pussy tight (daily affirmations)
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seaquestions · 4 months
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there’s like an ad frm our version of osha with diff monsters representing workplace stressors and. if a totally naked squidman-illithid-type guy came up behind me and gently caressed my shoulder. im. not sure What i would do but. i dont think this metaphor works.
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chelemlem · 3 months
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.
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llatimeria · 6 days
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You're exploring post-apocalyptic wetlands looking for creatures when this thing bites your foot off wyd
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fyeah-tmnt · 5 months
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huh
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soulmatesclub · 1 year
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i wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want is amazingphil's japhan 2023 instagram photo dump
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wrencatte · 2 days
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Do you have a favorite song? If so, share with us!
In the Hall of the Mountain King
Soundscape to Ardor (yes, this is a Bleach song)
Hold Me (Håll Om Mig) (THE Princess Tutu AMV)
thanks for the ask! I present to you turtles!!! 🐢🐢🐢🐢
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skyloftian-nutcase · 4 months
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Me, having just reread Breath of the Sky: So what are we gonna do for the next chapter, guys?
Warriors: Are you ever going to update Elastic Heart? I have some things to work out! Sky needs some sense knocked into him!
Me: I AM TRYING
Cloud: >:|
Me: Why are you glaring at me?
Cloud: You made me yell at my wife!
Me: No, you chose to do that! I had to recruit Abel to knock some sense into you because the entire teenage drama situation required an adult! I wasn’t even intending on giving Abel such a pronounced role in this story!
Captain Abel: *glancing in the corner* I certainly hope this endeavor doesn’t make me like him.
Burnt Out Blood of the Hero Abel: What is that supposed to mean?
Me: ALL RIGHT CUT IT OUT WE NEED TO FOCUS. Who’s gonna break the ice first?
Zellie: *sucks her lips in like she’s tasted a lemon*
Zel: Do I have to? I just got into a major fight with my husband.
Champion: *lying face down on the floor unconscious because Flowerblight Ganon’s great-grandmother beat the snot out of him for killing the last domesticated silent princess*
Cloud, sighing heavily: I guess that leaves me
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sammytoesis · 1 year
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D&D's SRD goes Creative Common
Great news that absolutely blindsided me.
Not only is the OGL revision being suspended (for the time being), but the entire fucking Systems References Document for 5.1 is now under Creative Commons.
Meaning now, its irrevocably set in stone that ANYONE can make content without being impeded.
To be specific, its underneath CC-BY 4.0
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this is what fuckin happens when people work together! when people speak up!
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pianokantzart · 8 months
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Finally, finally doing the Gerudo mission to get my final sage.
Probably should've done this sooner since I sent Hudson's daughter into the zombie infested sandstorm wasteland like 5 in-game months ago haha oops.
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sunset-peril · 2 months
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To Heir is Champion - Urbosa
Gerudo Town. A gleaming, all-women city in the middle of the unforgiving Gerudo Desert. Once said to have been the origin tribe of Calamity Ganon, the Gerudo people were now the closest ally to Hyrule, proven by the fact that the tribe had raised the last princess of Hyrule almost to adulthood.  
Lady Urbosa was chief of this proud tribe and also the adoptive mother of Princess Zelda. As the closest friend of Zelda's late mother, she was granted a maternal role for the future matriarch after her mother's sudden death. Urbosa cared very much for Zelda, enough to bend more than a few rules and traditions in order for Zelda to marry the love of her life, Champion Link of Hyrule.
Near the end of their engagement, Zelda had fallen quite ill. Worried for her daughter, Urbosa had taken her aside and examined her to find that the little princess of Hyrule was already expecting her first child. With such news in mind, she increased security among the Gerudo to ensure Link and Zelda's wedding would occur on time. She hoped this would be enough to secure their marriage with enough time to settle before she became obvious. 
Urbosa had promised to deny any knowledge of Zelda's pregnancy for as long as she wished, and thankfully for the excited grandmother-to-be, Zelda was about to relieve her of such a task.
"Lady Urbosa," Esosu, a high-ranking and highly trusted palace guard, entered the throne room. "a letter from Princess Zelda has arrived." 
Urbosa smiled softly, always happy to hear word from her vehvi. "Do bring it here." She held out a strong, yet gentle, hand for Esosu to place the letter into. 
Gerudo Chief Urbosa. The letter began with a striking formality, but Urbosa knew that such formality was demanded of Zelda. You've no idea how thankful Link and I are for your continued support of us throughout the years since Ganon's return was foretold. 
The smile on Urbosa's face grew larger and brighter. She was always willing to give both of them support. Zelda's life had been a struggle ever since her mother's assassination ten years before, and Link had his own demons to battle. For them to fully know Urbosa loved them was all her heart desired.
We both wish to thank you for your role in our marriage and our lives, which is why we've decided that you would be the first that we told.
Her mouth began to tremble with joy as she realized what the letter was for. 
I, Princess Zelda, and my husband, Prince Link, are beyond proud to announce that I am expecting the next descendant of Hylia. We expect the child to arrive in about two seasons' time. 
Urbosa began to cry. It was official now. 
"Lady Urbosa? What is the matter?" Although armor covered her face, her eyes shone with concern. "Do I need to prepare the troops?"
"No…"
"Then what brings my chief such emotion?"
Urbosa looked down at the words on the page, making sure they truly existed, before replying. "The princess is with child." 
"Oh! Our little missy is expecting her first! Truly happy news, Lady Urbosa!"  
Link has some training business with the knights, so I will be coming down for a few days until his business is through. I look forward to being in Gerudo Town again.
Her Divine Highness, Princess Zelda Esmerelda Hyrule, Descendant of the Goddess Hylia and Heir to the Hyrulean Throne
Right below where Zelda signed her full title, the Hylian Emblem appeared, proving that the parchment originated from Hyrule Castle.
"Esosu. Princess Zelda is coming to Gerudo Town for a few days while Prince Link tends to business. We must prepare for her arrival."
Esosu nodded. "Yes, Chief." 
"I leave you in charge of the guards. Do as you see fit."
"Thank you, Chief." Esosu then left the throne room to prepare. 
Urbosa quickly read over Zelda's letter again, becoming giddy before heading up to her bedroom.
Zelda would surely be arriving soon. She needed a good place to rest and some cool clothing for the desert heat. Now that she was with child, her whole being was a little more fragile. 
Looking around, she saw no suitable place for Zelda to stay, then remembered Zelda's old room was downstairs. She headed back down in order to see what needed to be cleaned up, mind wandering to other tasks. 
Urbosa needed to break the news to the Canteen, so that no worker there would accidentally give Zelda a drink and hurt her growing baby. 
A Noble Pursuit actually sounded amazing right now.
Urbosa headed down to the Noble Canteen, to fulfill both items on her list.  
*Some time later… Gerudo Canyon*
"Link. I'm feeling quite alright. Don't worry so much." Zelda brushed her fingers along the braids on the top of her head, still appearing the same as she always did when traveling for non-training reasons. The two had ridden at a decent pace the whole trip, now approaching the Gerudo Canyon Stable. Although the whole trip had gone without incident, not even Zelda getting nauseated or a Bokoblin attacking them, Link rode very close to her, often placing one hand on her shoulder or rubbing her belly while they were in motion. 
"I'm a knight and your husband. It's my job. Besides, I'm not going to see you for almost a week."
"I'll be fine! I'm in very good hands with Urbosa."
His hands tightened around Epona's reins. "Right now, I can't feel like any hands are as good as mine."
"I can tell that. Relax. The Gerudo have taken excellent care of me over the past ten years, the little one and I will be as well cared for as if you were doing so." She slowed Skyloft down a little and placed a hand over her stomach.
Link matched the pace change instantly. "Are you okay? Do we need to stop? What's wrong with the baby?"
Skyloft stopped, Zelda muttered in frustration. "Link. Nothing is wrong. Stop please." 
The two horses whinnied in agreement. 
"Ugh. Master's never been like this before. He's making me look bad." Epona muttered to Skyloft. "You'd think this foal was the end of the world."
"Tell me about it. I have to carry her around everywhere and you don't see me psyching out over this foal." Skyloft shook out his head. "Actually I'm kind of proud about it, I get to carry both remaining Goddess descendants on my back."
"Can we trade? I want the heavy salty one instead of this worrywart."
"She's not actually any heavier, even though this stomach of hers is already bigger." The white stallion turned his head to nuzzle Zelda's stomach. 
"Aww, Skyloft! Look Link, Skyloft's bonding." 
"Heh. Sure is." 
"Of course she isn't. All she's done for the past month has been puke her guts up. I'm surprised that foal's even still alive… and that she's actually held her rice today." 
"Maybe that's why they're growing, because there's a few scattered days where Mistress keeps a meal down."
"Maybe… oh, I hope Master's foal turns out alright. He'll never forgive himself if something happens." Epona also nuzzled Zelda's belly, in part to keep Link's hands off. 
"Heh. Looks like someone's popular." Link smiled at the two horses. They had sensed Zelda's pregnancy when she was only about five weeks, surrounding her body until Link became scared enough that they realized the strange lifeform inside Zelda also belonged to him. 
"Ugh. It's probably just stable fever but, does something seem off with Mistress?" Skyloft looked towards Zelda's slim figure with confusion as she walked in the stable. 
"...Yeah. I feel it too." Epona tilted her ears towards Zelda. 
As Zelda drew closer, the feeling intensified.
"Mornin' Epona!" Link greeted. "Look who's finally well enough to go riding with us." 
"Mistress has been ill? Why haven't we heard anything, Epona?"
"I don't know… lemme get closer. " Epona focused her ears on Zelda's body, using her heightened senses to try and solve the mystery. "Her stomach doesn't sound right… what did she eat?"
As soon as Link removed the latch on Epona's stall, she raced out and approached Zelda. 
"This sound, Skyloft, I've heard it before… but not since… Hateno… It almost sounds like… no… I haven't heard this sound since I was a filly, but it must be the same." 
"What? Tell me, Epona!"
Epona nickered in realization and reared slightly. "It's a foal, Sky! Princess Zelda's carrying a foal!" 
"Woah, Epona! Epona, down!" 
"A foal?! Mistress is with foal?!"
"There's a heartbeat in her stomach, it could only be a foal!"
"Epona!" Link dropped everything and motioned for him and Zelda to back up before she hurt herself or either of them. 
The stress made Zelda double over her stomach, trying not to retch. 
Skyloft whinnied at Zelda, then unlatched himself and raced over to her. He surrounded her stomach, keeping his muzzle down over it. 
"Skyloft? What are you doing? What's gotten into you and Epona?" Zelda wearily asked, unable to get a hand to her stomach. 
"I'll protect your foal, Mistress." He turned his head to Epona. "I hear the beat too!" 
Epona was able to dodge Link and also placed herself around Zelda, the two forming a wall. 
"Zelda! Zelda!" Link's panic was rising, all the horses in the stable could sense his terror. 
"Master thinks we're going to hurt her." Epona realized. "Skyloft, let my master through."  
The horses separated just enough to let Link in, who proceeded to snap.
"Back! Get back, shoo!"
They took a few steps back. "I've never seen Master get so scared he started yelling… I wonder if he knows about the foal too."  
Once they were a few steps from Zelda, Link cradled her body. "Are you hurt? Did they hurt you?"
"No, Link… they just spooked me a little… all they did was hold their noses on my stomach, I think they can sense the little one."
Link helped her to her feet, then held his hands on her belly, unable to relax. 
"Master's heartbeat is racing. This is so strange for him… but why's he holding her like that?"
"Maybe he's worried about her foal. Maybe he's trying to protect it."
Epona snorted in confusion. "Hylians don't just get that way around each other… especially around another Hylian's foal."
"Link… I'm okay… we're both okay." Zelda leaned forward and kissed his lips. 
Both horses stomped in realization. "Your master sired my mistress!" Skyloft whinnied. 
"Master sired the Princess' foal!" Epona replied at the same time. 
The two Hylians chuckled. "Didn't know we're a thing?" Link asked. "I thought you two knew that we just got married."
"I think they're still uptight about the baby. Herd animals, according to Castle research, can detect pregnancy among their members."
He smiled and nodded. Zelda had already learned so much about horses. "Maybe. C'mon, Epona! Let's all go for a ride." He slid the blanket and saddle over Epona's back, then scratched her neck. "I'm sorry I snapped earlier, girl."
...
"The horses have been interested in the little one ever since they freaked out in the stable that first time. They're probably curious."
"Yeah,  Epona was little the last time she encountered a pregnant female… and that one happened to be a cow. Skyloft was bred at the Castle, correct? He's probably never encountered such a thing."
Zelda nodded, then pulled at her reins. "Okay, Skyloft, keep moving. It's getting hot." She exhaled loudly and fanned herself. 
"Here, honey." Link pulled out a boomerang from his pocket. "Use this." He then instructed both horses to move faster, trying to get through the stuffy canyon gateway before Zelda got nauseous. 
The horses had to stay at the stable, they all said goodbye before Link and Zelda stepped into the Desert Gateway and headed for Kara Kara. 
"Ah, there you are!" Urbosa called when the couple came into view. 
Zelda ran up to Urbosa and hugged her tightly. The two embraced in a long hug. 
"Let me see that baby of yours!" Urbosa bent down and rubbed Zelda's stomach. "Ah, you've already got a bump… how cute." She chuckled. "Are you being nice to your momma? Or are you making her regret getting pregnant with you already?"
"Both. Most days I can't keep any food down, but today my stomach's been alright. I already love this little one so much… I didn't even know I could do that."
"Ah, a mother's love is a powerful thing." She chuckled. "You're getting so big already. Either you're just that tiny or you've got a big baby in there."
"I'm getting a little worried that she's already showing, we've barely gotten to settle from the wedding… haven't even started on how we're going to tell the King."
"Oh yes, he's not going to be very pleased… you stay alert, Link, even one strike could kill this miracle here."
"Urbosa. He's already panicking, I need him to be able to leave and not have a heart attack… please don't stress him out." Zelda then winced, pressing one hand on either side of her bump. "Ooohh." She shuffled over to Link's side, panic flashed in his eyes. 
"Little bird!" Her and Link instantly tried to soothe her pain. "Link… can you help her over to the water?" 
She took short, sharp breaths. "I'm okay, I'm okay…" 
"Still. Let Link help you to the pond." With Urbosa's words, Link lifted his wife and carried her to the cool waters, letting them surround her hips. 
Once Zelda had floated for a while, the pulsing pain subsided. "...Thank you, Urbosa."
"You're welcome, little bird… I think you may have gotten overheated. These early cramps can get ugly, and the heat never helps. We'll be a little more careful on the way to the town." She rubbed Zelda's shoulders and looked at Link. "You probably need to head on, don't you?"
"...Yeah." Link kissed Zelda's forehead. "Stay safe, okay? Don't go near the Canteen, I don't want it to tempt you."
"Alright, Link. You try and have fun, okay?"
He looked pained to reply. "Love you."
"I love you too." 
He stood up, Zelda did too, and he hugged Urbosa before placing his hands on Zelda's bump and kissing her lips. 
The two women watched him leave, Urbosa with an arm around Zelda's back. "C'mon, little bird, let's get to the town before it gets any hotter. I've already had someone make a cooler maternity outfit for you."
"You're too kind to me, Urbosa."
"Anything for you, little bird, I want you to be as comfortable as you can."
~~~~
Hyrule's Final Stand Masterlist
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ropesbypatricia · 10 months
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~ I was more fun when I smoked ~
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