A twitter mutual unfollowed me a while ago… This wouldn’t be so bad in itself but I just saw them bragging about it and I’m just like ??????

New Fanfic!

Based on the Ladybug Puppet Show premise, which people seemed to love (Seriously? More than a thousand note o: I’m flattered and a bit scared)

As always, be warned that my writing style is more comedic(and slightly nonsensical) than anything, but I try! (But seriously, don’t expect fluff or angst with this... at least not good ones... or ones on purpose. )

How to Succeed Thanks To Spite. 1

“So, how it was?”

Alya gave a start at Adrien appearing out of nowhere when she closed her locker. So Marinette was right after all and Adrien was sneaky as a cat and not just her obliviousness. Oh, well, she will apologize later.

It had been a week after the whole Animaestro thing and the Ladybug Movie had been officially released and of course Alya had gone to the premiere with Nino, as both Adrien and Marinette had refused. At first she thought it was because neither wanted to be a third wheel, even thought Alya’s original intentions were for it to be a double date or because they had already seen it and as it was so awesome, they would be unable to contain the spoilers… oh boy, was she wrong.

The movie had been an awful mess. Ladybug and Chat Noir were unlikable to the point most people in the theater were cheering for Hawk Moth. Alya understood that things like Kwamis were technically a secret to the general public, and obviously they wouldn’t be able to show their identities, but still, the movie has lots of issues of continuity, bad edition, characters would go back and forth on their development, Ladybug acted like a happy-go-lucky girly girl who always needed saving, and Chat Noir attitude made Batman seem like… well, the real Chat Noir. None of his flirty, likeable self was portrayed there, instead he was a creepy stalker for Ladybug, and needed a kiss from her to be able to take off his miraculous, which was deemed a “curse”.

Alya had to force herself to finish the movie, and after it she had gone to her parents for legal advice, as Lady Wifi, the Bubbler and a lot of other Akumas had appeared, and they didn’t even asked for their permission for that. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the city had determined that the akumas weren’t legally the same person as the victims, so they wouldn’t face consequences for their actions. Alya was furious, as they had also whitewashed her, and portrayed as a stereotypical valley girl who couldn’t survive without her phone.

“Alya?”

The sunshine boy called her attention. Alya suddenly remembered that he had voiced Chat Noir, but the movie had sounded nothing like him.

“Yes?”

“The movie. What do you think?”

“Adrien, sweetie, you’re one of my best friends, and I would never lie to you” Adrien beamed. “But I’m gonna flee so I don’t have to answer that question.” And she was gone.

Adrien stood there several seconds, confused. He could hear Plagg snickering inside him. The fact that Plagg had to phase inside him had always grossed him out, but now he was more worried about Alya’s opinion on the movie.

He sadly limped to the classroom, were Alya was already talking with Marinette and Nino.

“You can say it, it sucked”

“But Adrien was so proud of having voiced Chat Noir!”

“Yeah… I watched it in the special V.I.P. premiere, remember? That Guy gave me his ticket. Adrien was very disappointed they altered his voice… and the whole character of Chat Noir”

“You should have warned us” protested Nino

“Yeah, I thought my opinions on the movie might be biased… for reasons, and wanted you guys to experience it yourselves.”

“Liar, you wanted us to suffer like you had.”

“Well yeah, but what’s the point of being Best Friends if we don’t share some suffering every now and then”

“Point”

“It was a bad movie. So bad it was horrible. And I liked Street Fighter” said Adrien letting himself flop into his seat next to Nino.

“Don’t you dare to compare the magnificently ridiculous masterpiece that was Street Fighter to… whatever the heck that was ever again, Agreste” said Nino in a playfully menacing tone. “Raul Julia deserves better”

“Agreedste” replied Adrien. “But seriously, that movie was painful to watch. I can’t believe my debut on movies was… that… and That Guy is passive-aggressive blaming my inexperience as a voice actor for people not liking his ‘vision’ of that Batman slash Wolverine rip-off. I didn’t even get a script, just a bunch of random lines, and when asked what kind of emotion I should give to each, he was very vague about it… I don’t think Clara or anyone else fared better.”

“I know! I thought the line in the trailer about Ladybug being afraid of cats was bad, but her actually being scared of Chat… wow” Alya let herself dramatically fall on her desk; face first, after carefully taking her glasses off. “And the worst thing is that I mentioned going to see the movie on the Ladyblog, and now people want me to do a review.”Alya gesticulated with her hands, her head firmly planted on her desk. “How can I say in the nicest way possible ‘This movie is a stinking pile of…’?”

“Lila, Hi!” greeted Nino to the newcomer, who had just entered the classroom. Marinette openly scowled at her sight. If anyone asked, she was going to say she was thinking about the movie.

“Hi guys! What are you doing?”

“Talking about the Ladybug movie” said Alya, still her head on the desk.

“Oh, have you seen it? It was awesome, wasn’t it? I was a consultant for it.”

“WHAT” Alya practically jumped up, startling Marinette and the others. Lila had a smug smile on her face, unaware of the true opinions of her ‘friends’, especially when other people had noticed Alya yelling and were now approaching them and making her the center of attention.

“Yeah, I practically wrote the whole thing. They begged me to help them, since Ladybug and I are B.F.F.s”

“You… helped with the movie.”

“Of course. It’s not the first movie I have worked on, but they always refuse to give me credits just because I’m a minor”

“You… helped with the movie” Repeated Alya.

“Yeah. They begged me.”

“Because you’re BFFs with Ladybug”

“Yeah! Ladybug herself introduced me to them”

“And you would know everything about her.”

“Of course, we are very close”

“And of course you would make the movie as accurate as possible”

“Well, duh. Only the best for my bestie”

Alya and Nino looked at each other, as did Marinette and Adrien. Marinette was using all her willpower to not burst laughing at Lila digging her own grave.

Alya, Nino and several of the background characters they called classmates and friends seemed to be rebooting with the new information. Lila was Ladybug’s best friend, and had helped make the movie. But the movie had been horrible and inaccurate, and horribly inaccurate, even on the simplest of details, like Ladybug’s hair length, their heights, and their whole personalities. Either Lila was a really bad friend, she didn’t know squat about Ladybug… or she hadn’t helped at the movie at all. Either she was lying or was an horrible friend.

“Funny, I don’t remember seeing you at the V.I.P. party. And even Dupain-Cheng was there”

“Oh Chloe, I’m sorry I couldn’t attend, but I had a charity event scheduled the same day, and charity is more important going to the movies.”

“Oh, Lila is so nice” added Rose, with Lila smiling at their gullibility. “What was the event?”

“It was… adopting homeless dogs and cats! Yeah. Puppies too.”

“Uh? Mylene and I volunteer at the Animal Sanctuary and have never seen you there” added Ivan.

“Not the Animal Sanctuary, another association”

“The Animal Sanctuary was the only one association doing an adoption drive that day. We always check with other associations to cooperate and not overlap.”

The others were sincerely impressed that Mylene and Ivan were volunteers.

“Well, I don’t like to brag but…”

“Pft! All you do is brag! Even more than me, and that’s saying something”

Lila’s smile faltered. She turned around and started sobbing. “All right, all right, I wasn’t at that event. The truth is… it’s embarrassing… I was… getting my appendix removed.”

“… But you were here the next day”

“… I heal fast”

Before they could continue with their talk, Miss Bustier entered the classroom, and asked everyone to take their seats.

“Marinette?” asked Alya, almost inaudible. Marinette turned her head to her friend.

“Yes?”

“I’m very sorry for ever doubting you”

------------

And that’s all for now!

I have no idea how many chapters this will have, or if it will ever end. , just the outline that was already done in the other post. I’m gonna tag this with “#Ladybug Puppet Show”... I also tagged the episode “Animaestro” since this one is sort of a continuation of it. 

And I’m aware this is also a bit... a lot salty, but heh, such is life. Enjoy!

Outlaw Christmas has been completed.

My mother in law concealed her dislike of me by giving me used, citrus themed kitchen towels. I opened the ziploc bag they were in and it could be said that she stole them from an older lady with 50 cats and no litter box who smokes a carton a day in the house she has owned for the past 50 years with a leaky roof. I can't justify donating something that gross, so I will be pitching them. As of this moment, they are sitting outside on my porch because no thank you lol

I made her cookies and got her some fancy chocolate. It could be said I like her even less then she likes me, but I will always win the annual passive aggressive gift exchange. Kill them with fucking kindness.

My grandfather in law loved his pumpkin pie. Took it from my hands, grabbed a fork and did nothing else until it was gone. The grandmother in law got a kick out of the marzipan christmas pig we found, and promptly beheaded it. We had matching "don't care" shirts on. Matching being a loose term here since hers was a hoodie and mine was a tank. But the sentiment was mutual.

We didn't have to deal with my sister in law and her fiance who makes my skin crawl! That was joyous. She's been bragging to hubs that she got Moose a remote control monster truck with realistic noise and flashing lights. For the kid that hates loud noise. And struggles with flashing lights. And hates rc anything. But sure thing, karen. When we have said hey, don't she has ignored us because "autism is fake" and actually that's the last time I spoke to her and why she blocked me everywhere. As if Hubs doesn't go "honey look what she's done now". She engaged to a preacher she's known 4 months. Dude's almost 40 and loves how young she looks. Just goes on and on about how young she looks. And she does. Like she's about 14. Gross. But ya know. Preacher who is "a man of the lord!". Y'all don't need this soapbox.

The day was a success in the end. I am not doing anything tomorrow. Can't pay me. Can't make me. Won't do it. If I don't recharge my human battery before christmas with my family I will set things on fire.

And the smell migraine must leave.

1D Day, Hour Two

The file I’m watching on YouTube is much shorter than an hour (44 minutes!!), but that’s because the poster kindly removed the “VT” (shudder) from random countries (it always boils down to [insert country’s name’s] fans wilding, and there’s only so much of that I can take).

Still, hour 2 is fucking ICONIC for many reasons, the biggest being Harry’s barely constrained rage. Yes, Louis’s “done with it all” demeanor on 1D Day is (justifiably) legendary, but Harry’s right there with him (twin flames, y’all). I can’t tell if he’s coked up, genuinely angry, or just passive-aggressively petty because someone told him he had to speak more quickly, much more loudly, and with some enthusiasm, for chrissakes. Oh, he delivers, all right, so much maniacal shouting. Deets under the cut.

Hour 2 is all Lirry, and I, for one, love Lirry, so it’s 44 minutes well spent. Liam tells us, “We’re kicking it off with VT from  France, give it up for France!” (“FRANCAIS!” Harry yells), and after the missing bit of French VT, we’re back to Lirry, with Harry vacillating between murdering the French language (“Mercy boo coo to France”) and shouting “I ATE SNAILS” as his contribution to what they did in France last time they were there (Liam played football with some guys near the Eiffel Tower, fwiw).

The first guest is Dynamo (or, “DYNAMO, EVERYBODY” if you’re Harry), and he’s here for card tricks and more (“OH, SNAP” is Harry’s response to Dynamo nearly twisting his own finger off, and god, it’s horrifying). Harry’s fairly manic through the entirety of the card tricks, but I love Liam because he’s me in every card trick (“I’m glad mine’s easy to remember because I’d probably forget,” which is true of any card you take, like, ever???):

“WHO LOVES MAGIC!” Harry shouts, and there’s a needlessly complicated special interactive trick that gets introduced here, with Dynamo saying that he wrote a prediction on a piece of paper and sealed it in a box at the beginning of the day, so he needs to Harry to keep the key safe. Points if you correctly assumed that Harry will stuff that key right in next to his dick as a joke.

Because nobody rehearsed or prepared for this epic full-day live event, there are all kinds of problems with the cameras, and if you want a fun drinking game to get you hammered within 45 minutes, take a shot every time you see a variation of this (Liam looking vaguely concerned while Harry aggressively points at the sky or the camera while shouting):

A horrifically bad segment that’s a poorly disguised advert for Google Hangouts (lmaoaoaoaooaoaoa) kicks off questions from all over the world (the audio is bad, none of the visuals syncs), but we get some iconic answers to deeply important questions, like, “If you were in the Hunger Games, who would  survive the longest?” Liam says he’d hide and then kill passersby (yikes), and Harry says he’s more of a lover than a fighter, so he��d hide in a tree until it all blew over. Liam: “Oh, yeah, you’re definitely more of a lover.” Harry: “Easy there, Piers Morgan.”

The next question is from a group of girls wearing Christmas sweaters, which annoys Harry because “it’s a whole month and two days early,” but I think his issues are bigger than jumping the gun on holidays (and honestly, the UK doesn’t have the twin buffers of T’day and H’ween, so you KNOW this is just part of his general rage). Anyway, they want to know what other careers these two would be involved with, sans the D, and because they’re five, Liam says spaceman and Harry says baker.

After a series of horrible glitches, the next question is about which superhero they’d be, and me as Harry, blowing a giant raspberry as he ponders this important question with the level of exhaustion he surely must feel, three years into this band/interview technique. Liam can read the room, so he picks this one up and says he’d be Kung-Fu Panda, which makes it easy for Harry to say Hong Kong Fuey (!!!) or Top Cat.

With that mess done, it’s time to “ROLL THE VT!” (according to Harry) for Switzerland, and because the producers here are nothing if not cliché lovers, that means tiny cowbells for Harry to play with when we come back. He quickly tires of this, throws the cowbells off stage, yells “WE NEED A CAMERA,” and walks straight into the call box with the overwhelmed girls from hour 1. These girls are still weeping, but Harry says, “Thank you for listening to the album, you’re getting kicked out, sorry,” in the flattest voice possible, so good cop Liam hurries over to ask the weeping girls which song they liked and usher in two new people.

“Happily” is debuted, but we don’t get to see it, boo, but we do get ushered over to a theater with some contest winners. Or as Harry says, “We’re here backstage to meet some fans who have won a chance to be here…SHUT UP…in our VIP cinema,” and then, “You’re crying…is that because I told you to shut up? I didn’t mean it.” Liam is there again to save the day, but there are lots of sound problems, so it’s hard to tell what’s happening, tbh.

Anyway, these fans get to ask some iconic questions, such as, “What would we find in your fridge?” which gives us this classic from Harry: “I DON’T LIVE ANYWHERE, SO NO FOOD,” as the audience says, “awwwwww” in the background.

There’s a question from a lady on the screen, saying that she’s in front of the X Factor studios, and she wants to know what they would change their audition song to, if they could go back in time, and because Harry’s well aware of his various stalkers, he says, “I saw her the other day at the X Factor studios, 100 percent” (fwiw, Harry would do “Wrecking Ball” with props, and Liam would do “Mirrors”).

The last question is what they would change if they could go back in time, and Liam says probably his older haircuts, and Harry says that one day in April (and he mentions April again later in the hour, so someone investigate), he had a dodgy breakfast burrito, so he’d probably change that (he also had a dodgy batch of prawns one time, too, but that’s a different story, and god, he’s an underrated comedian). The sound is for shit, but Liam doubts this, prompting Harry to scream, “DON’T JUDGE ME, LIAM, I’M TRYING MY BEST,” and whyyyyyy is he so on fire (and why do I love it so much):

We get back to the studio with an inexplicably breathless Scott Mills (he says he ran…but from where, lmao) and do another spin to figure out who the official 1D account (????) will follow on twitter. Harry starts cheating before people start yelling at him to stop, which is a shame, really, just follow all of these poor bastards, honestly!

We don’t get to see the VT from Germany, but we do get to see Lirry bickering about camera problems and stolen lines, plus an exhaustive rundown of all the thrilling things to come, and I’m so thankful to the person who made this moment a Dua Lipa meme all those months ago:

One of my favorite segments has a really awkward setup, but tl/dr/dw, Harry brags, “I’m a bit of a chef myself, and if I’m honest, Liam, I’m pretty damned good at it,” so we get a “ROLL VT!” and an aggressive finger point, both from Harry, and a silly but charming cook off with the tour chef, who seems like a lovely lady (p.s. look at how glorious his hair was under all those tablecloths…also, he’s chewing gum in a gross way, but this whole bit is worth watching in full):

The cook off is genuinely funny and results in a beautiful pavlova from Sarah and a basic sandwich (with pickle and paprika) from Harry, judged by Mark Jarvis, Gemma Styles, and Lou Teasdale, all of whom Harry bribes. I’m more fascinated with this ring, and my head canon has it either saying ILY or JEN (both of which make me smile):

With that bit over, we move on to more rapping of random tweets, and it’s embarrassing, so I won’t get into that. But the VT of Liam surfing is something special, not only because he looks so obviously happy while he’s doing it, but also because he says some very profound things in the interview around it: “I get followed a lot, so it’s quite nice to get out in the sea where nobody can follow you […] it’s so nice and peaceful […] it doesn’t matter what you look like, you can just have a good time, it’s a bit of an escape,” and ouchhhhhh, that’s some real talk.

We head back to the studio for a fashion segment with Louise someone; a handful of lucky fans in Sweden won a t-shirt design contest, and Lirry are gonna do some modeling. Louise is happy that Harry knows where Sweden is (Harry:  “I got a B in geography…might have been a C, can’t remember”), and some poor shlub working on this trainwreck in the shadow gets dragged out on camera because he’s wearing green jeans, but he’s not there for long (Harry: “GET OUT” *shove*). Louise describes the fashion show to come, and Harry says that he’s quite good at walking in straight lines, but Liam reminds him that he tends to fall over a lot on stage and that the tiny catwalk is actually pretty shiny (god bless Liam for being so responsible).

Luckily for all of us, professional model Cindy Crawford is there to help with some tips (she’s introduced as “IT’S ONLY BLOODY CINDY CRAWFORD” by Harry, and I die with Cindy’s “Hello, boys,” and Harry’s “Hello, Mrs. Crawford”…followed swiftly by Cindy’s, “Please don’t call me Mrs. Crawford”). There’s some sexi modeling, and even though he only wears two shirts to Harry’s three (*and* Harry gets down on the ground to pose), Liam wins, according to the Swedes. He requests a model  off with Cindy as his prize, and he’s surprisingly good?

The last segment is with Dynamo, the magic man, and for some reason, Harry’s weirdly agro about his own shirt mic, like, unnecessarily so, ripping it off to speak with Dynamo before gently putting it back where it belongs. Maybe he’s just frustrated about how they have to use Google+ (lololololol) for a totally convoluted imaginary concert that ultimately doesn’t work (me as him, tbh). 

While Liam does tech support live on air (!!), Harry asks Dynamo to do some card tricks to stall for time after literally nobody says a word when he monotones, “We’re having a technical difficulty…does anybody know any jokes.” Harry pulls a card as directed, but then, for seemingly no reason, he suddenly starts yelling, “THIS ISN’T WORKING, SHALL WE SEE SOME HIGHLIGHTS? HIGHLIGHTS!!! ROLL HIGHLIGHTS [aggressive pointing]!!” and the highlights are truly awful, and I hope he’s enjoying his smoke break for hour 3, jfc.

SF9 as Boyfriends Based on Their Zodiac Sign

rA/N: I’m not a complete expert on zodiac signs, and like usually there are whole charts that help describe a person a little better. I’m going to be basing this off of what I know about their sun signs and other people I know from their signs. 

Kim Youngbin: November 23rd, 1993-Sagittarius 

   Sagittarius are known for being very charismatic and optimistic so a relationship with Youngbin could be quite happy. Most Sagittarius I know are very protective, and when they are in love can handle almost anything their lover may do. Youngbin has shown to be very supportive and caring as a person so he would be even more so with a partner. Sagittarius are very adventurous people so dates with Youngbin would be relatively fun. 

Kim Inseong: July 12th,1993-Cancer

     I am a Cancer myself, so writing Inseong and Zuho will probably be the most comfortable for me, since this is one of the signs I know best. A lot of us Cancers really do have goofy personalities, almost alien like is the best way to explain it. I see a lot of that with Inseong he’s a really silly boy, and I think in a relationship he would use his humor to his advantage. Going more into Cancer stereotypes we are seen as sort of a motherly side so nurturing people is kind of like instinct to us, so that may result in him being a very clingy protective boyfriend. Brooding is also something that we are very good at it, and I can Inseong as the type to pout if he’s upset about something. 

Lee Jaeyoon: August 9th, 1994-Leo

     Ah Leos, I love them. Leos are represented by the lion which makes them very prideful. Jaeyoon is definitely the type to be proud, and probably brag about everything his lover does. Leos are also just a lot of fun, and excitable so I think a relationship with Jaeyoon would be always interesting. Leos from experience can get pretty salty over minor things, but will hold grudges over major things so don’t like betray him or lose his trust. 

 Lee Dawon: July 24th, 1995-Leo

     Leos are fire signs which make them very passionate, so I think Dawon would be a very passionate lover. I think it also makes him have a very big personality in general making him the spontaneous goofball he is. I think he would take much pride in being able to make his partner happy or laugh. Leos are very loyal people so as long as his partner makes him feel equally loved he will make them feel like royalty. Leos are a pretty passive aggressive sign, so I think if there were ever any fights he would be a bit petty. 

Baek Juho: July 4th,1996-Cancer

     A lot of Cancers I meet are a bit more on the quieter side, and I can see that in Juho. I think he would be a bit of a quiet, but very deep lover. Cancers can also be very clingy, to the point of being annoying, which I think would probably be Juho in a relationship. Cancer are also jealous types so I think that he could become jealous pretty easily. 

Kim “Rowoon” Seokwoo: August 7th, 1996-Leo

     Leos are very charismatic which Rowoon in my opinion is very of. He is like dream boyfriend material. They are very determined so I think when Rowoon is in love he would be very determined to make it work and last. Leos are also very playful people so I think that a relationship with Rowoon would be very fun, but also very romantic. 

Yoo Taeyang: February 28th, 1997-Pisces

     I have been looking forward to writing Taeyang’s, because Pisces are like the most cheesiest lovers ever. My mom and step-dad are both Pisces and they are like so lovey-dovey it’s gross. They will say cheesy pick up lines to each other, and go out of their way to buy gifts and stuff for each other. Pisces are very sentimental people, so Taeyang would probably be a super cheesy and kind lover. His partner would be spoiled so much, and he would get pleasure from making them happy. 

Kim “Hwiyoung” Youngkyun: May 11th, 1999-Taurus

     Taurus are very stubborn so first of if Hwiyoung wants a relationship to last he will go out of his way to make it last, but it can also cause problems if there are ever fights. However, personally Hwiyoung does not seem like the type who would pick his side of an argument over his relationship. They are also very affectionate people so he would probably be very cuddly and sweet. Taurus are known to be a bit materialistic so he might by gifts to show his love. 

Kang “Chani” Chanhee: January 17th, 2000-Capricorn

     Most Capricorns I know have resting serious face, and look kind of standoffish, but in reality are most of the time pretty sweet. They can also be quite quiet, and come off as if they don’t care when they really do A LOT which could end up being a problem for Chani. However, Capricorns are very loyal, patient, and reliable so I think Chani would always be there for his partner whenever they needed him and love them to death even if he is not the best at expressing it. 

Survey #111

You know you’re from North Carolina when...

- You either have the lighthouse or the plane on your driver's license (nobody gets the seal). (don't have my license *shrug emoticon*) - You roll your eyes and correct people that pronounce it "App-a-LAY-shun" instead of "App-a-LATCH-un." - You have probably been to the Biltmore Estate (AKA America's only castle) before on a school field trip. - If there is even a CHANCE of snow school will be cancelled for a week, the grocery store will be out of milk and bread, and everyone will be afraid to drive. (THIS IS SOOO FUCKING TRUE) - You either like light blue or dark blue, not both. - Some of your family members probably make/sell real moonshine and it's WAY better than that knock-off crap they sell in gas stations now. (I know someone who does, though.) - Cook Out is life. - You have waited in line in your car for two or three hours just to see a street of Christmas lights in McAdenville (AKA Christmastown, USA). - In elementary school you heard the phrases "Duke is puke! Wake is fake! But NC State is the one we hate!" and "You can't get to heaven in a red canoe 'cause God's favorite color is CAROLINA BLUE!" thanks to your obnoxious UNC-loving classmates. - Billy Graham is a state-wide hero and you've probably been to his beautiful library. - You often wonder why Charlotte isn't the capital instead of Raleigh. - Two of God's greatest gifts were invented in North Carolina: Cheerwine and Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. (I've never had Cheerwine) - NASCAR is a big deal. (Not to me, but to literally almost everyone else, yeah.) - In school there was importance placed on the Lost Colony, Blackbeard, and tobacco. - It doesn't matter what time of year you go swimming in the mountains, the river water is always freezing. - You've been to Sliding Rock before. - "Wagon Wheel" (by Old Crow Medicine Show) is a very important song to you and you knew it way before Darius Rucker covered it. - Occasionally, you have to worry about a hurricane destroying your town. (We get hurricanes every couple years I'd say, but the bad ones usually curve back into the ocean.) - Bojangles is the best way to cure a hangover. (You haven't fuckin' lived until you go to Bojo's, but it's not gonna cure a hangover.) - We love going "all the way," AKA chili, slaw, onions, and mustard on our hotdogs. (Again, not me, but pretty much everyone else.) - You brag about all the amazing movies filmed here, including "The Last of the Mohicans," "Dirty Dancing," "The Hunger Games," "A Walk to Remember," "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby," and "The Color Purple." - And also the popular TV shows filmed in North Carolina, including "One Tree Hill," "Homeland," "Under the Dome," "Sleepy Hollow" and "Dawson's Creek." - You rep 23 because the greatest basketball player of all time is also from here: Michael Jordan. - There are two kinds of barbecue: Eastern-style and Lexington-style, and you probably have a preference. Either way, North Carolina has the best barbecue in the country. - And barbecue is a NOUN, not a verb. - We have some of the best breweries in the country, also. - The ACC tournament is an extremely important time of the year where families and friendships will be torn apart. - Many people think North Carolina is super conservative, until they make their way to Asheville. (Uh, no. The entire state is conservative.) - There's nothing more relaxing than driving along the Blue Ridge Parkway in the fall. - You've definitely been to Carowinds and then realized it's not that great. - Every hour is happy hour to you, because North Carolina legally cannot have an official happy hour! - You can always see a lovely dogwood tree blooming in the spring. (Never, ever, do you want to smell one.) - You will fight anyone who says Ohio was first in flight. - If you need to buy furniture, there are only two places to go: Hickory or High Point. - You know the North Carolina mountains are the best and only place to get a Christmas tree. - You know the struggle of waiting to get your after 9's when you first get your driver's license. (It's the same for a permit.) - Even though we're on the coast, most people go to the beach in South Carolina. - You think the Rocky Mountains are great, but the Blue Ridge Mountains are home. - Tracking red clay into your house is normal. - You had to memorize the names of all the North Carolina lighthouses in 4th grade. - You either conquered the swinging mile-high bridge on Grandfather Mountain, or turned around halfway in fear. - There's a certain time of summer when it's too hot to even go swimming because the pool water feels like bathwater. - People from other states get confused when you say you're going to Beech and grab your skiing gear. (Lmao what.) - You know our state motto "esse quam videri" (meaning "to be, rather than to seem") is an appropriate representation of our great state. (Well that's a load of shit.) - You have strong feelings about barbeque. (Yeah, in the sense that I hate it.) - Somehow our favorite team always come down to some last-minute victory or loss. Ensue floods of tears. - On a Florida vacation at least three people have asked you where you're from. (My grandma lives in Florida.) - You LIKE tobacco, as in, the gorgeous tobacco fields and the rich heritage it has in our state. - You've partied in a field. (We were what, 13, so it wasn't exactly a "party," but we played out there, if that counts?) - It's not Christmas unless you watch the Andy Griffith Christmas Episode - It doesn't feel like fall unless you visit the State Fair. - Summer vacations meant one thing, ferry rides to the Outer Banks. (Again, to other people. OBX is huge here.) - You've bought watermelons, peaches, and vegetables off the side of the road. (I don't trust that shit.) - You have mixed feelings about Myrtle Beach. - You've attended a pig pickin'. (And they're fucking gross.) - Your accent and dialect varies depending on which part of the state you grew up in. - You've never met ANY celebrities. - You measure distance in minutes. (Literally everyone here does.) - Down South to you means South Carolina. (It can.) - You know Pepsi originated in New Bern, Cheerwine in Salisbury, and that Mountain Dew was invented in Fayetteville. (I knew they were all invented here, but not where specifically.) - You know Coke tastes better in the little bottles and that peanuts make coke taste even better. (Don't like peanuts) - Your folks have taken trips to the mountains to look at leaves. - Your school took a field trip to the State Fair in Raleigh. - You watched as Dale Earnhardt was the only man who ever lived who could go 200 mph, spin somebody out, flip them the bird, call them a you-know-what, and win the race all in the last lap. - You skipped school to go to Dale Earnhardt's memorial service. - You know a bunch of people who have hit a deer. (Like everyone lmao) - You know a few that have also hit a bear. - You remember watching the ACC Tournament on television at school. - The local newspaper covers state, national, and international headlines in one page, but sports require six pages. - Most men in town consider the first day of deer season a national holiday. - Fifty degrees Fahrenheit is "a little chilly" (To other people; that's like perfect for me.) - You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Conetoe" or "Top Sail" (I've been to Conetoe once and it blew my mind how it was pronounced lol.  I didn't know Top Sail had a weird pronunciation...?) - Your school classes were canceled because of cold. - Your school classes were canceled because of heat. - Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. (Happens rarely.) - You know tea is served sweet unless you specifically asked for unsweetened. - You've ever had to switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day. - You end your sentences with a preposition, for example, "Where's my coat at?" "What's that made out of?" (Doesn't... everyone sometimes...?) - All the festivals around the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or tobacco. - You know the difference between a deer dog, a bear dog and a coon dog by the way they bark. - Your four seasons are almost summer, summer, still summer, and highway construction. (PRETTY FUCKING MUCH.) - You think the four major food groups are beef, pork, beer, and Jello salad with marshmallows. - Schools and churches hold barbecue fundraisers with banana pudding as the dessert. - Your folks would rather eat at Bojangles's than McDonald's. - You know what "cow tipping" is. - You say, “it don’t” instead of “it doesn’t." - You sometimes eat country ham, grits and eggs for supper. - “Onced” and “twiced” are words. - You know how much a "mess" of anything is. - You say "tater" instead of "potato" - You say "skeeter" instead of "mosquito" - You say "possum" instead of "opossum" - You say "coon" instead of "raccoon" - You know that "barbeque" means cooking pork on an open pit and a "cook out" is grilling hamburgers and hotdogs. - You know that "pop" is a sound, and "soda" is used for baking. - Everything tastes better when served in a mason jar. - You'll never hear anything more passive-aggressive than "bless your heart!" - Everyone knows someone who's in the military. - Everyone seriously loves the North Carolina Zoo. - People have to ask, "Is there alcohol in this?" - You loooove Sun Drop. - You know to NEVER go to the Crabtree Valley Mall on the weekend. (Never, ever, do it.)

Talk about A L L O F T H E M

Okay buckle in kiddos it is now time for me to Overshare. Someone else asked for all evens so here are all the odds. Keeps it shorter anyway. Sorry this took me so long!1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. // The first time I watched Master and Commander, I was too young to actually understand what was happening. I remember getting really upset during some of the sadder scenes, and getting really grossed out by some of the gorey bits. The first time I watched it and actually understood it, I thought it was amazing, and I stood up during the last scene with my mouth open in amazement. There's not anything super awesome about the last scene but for some reason I just love it so much. 3: Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for. // Um.... okay. So... we had known each other since first grade, but we didn't really become friends until fourth or fifth grade. I didn't have many friends at the time, so it was kind of a big deal that someone actually wanted to be my friend. We were best friends for a long time, and then we dated for two years in high school. He was--is-- incredibly intelligent, and is really good at science and math. And he's funny, too. He has a sense of humor that swings between morbid, sly, and just plain goofy. He's a complete dork, too, and while it was hard to get him excited about something, when he started talking about something that was genuinely interesting to him, he just lit up. He's also a brilliant writer, though he's not fully convinced of that. I still worry about him, though I know he can take care of himself. Anyway, so far, he's been the only one I've really had romantic feelings for. Currently, I don't really have intense romantic feeling for anyone.5: Talk about the best birthday you've had. // I've had a lot of really good birthdays, but my favorite ones were when I went to Water World with some of my friends. I have a lot of good memories attached to that water park. 7: Talk about your biggest insecurity. // I'm insecure about a lot of things. My weight, my voice, my height, my intelligence, my leadership skills, my mental illness. The list goes on. And on. And on. 9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. // I love the little half curls in my hair, and the way that it has at least three different kinds of brown in it. And I like the way my eyes turn the color of honey in the sun. 11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had. // Okay so it's been ten years and I still remember it vividly. I was a dragon, slinking over the rooftops in the dead of night. I saw a group of humans and hid in the shadows to overhear their plot to storm my clan's cave and kill all the dragons. They were whispering about a secret weapon. I raced back home and told our elders everything. But I was too late. The humans were upon us. Cue epic battle with shapeshifting from human to dragon, walls of green fire, and a powder that made the humans invincible to the heat of the dragon fire. It was so cool and I loved it. 13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. // I'm not really planning on the whole sex thing. So unless something drastically changes, my first time will be never.15: Talk about the time you were most content in life. // When I was training to be a counselor, I would get a hour break every day, and I would go down to my cabin and sit on the steps and read. It was warm, with a cool breeze that made the leaves of the trees sound like ocean waves. The only other sound was birds chirping and the turning of pages in my book. Whenever I was there, I felt totally at peace. 17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with. // I really want to be friends with my new roommate. Her name is Talia and she seems pretty cool, and I just really hope we become good friends.19: Talk about something that happened in middle school. // When I was in seventh grade, my sister and I had to take the public bus to the library a few blocks away to wait for our mom to be done with work. One day, I had the bright idea to race the bus. I left my sister at the stop and started running. I ran two miles, and got to the stop minutes before the bus. I was so proud, and got ready to brag to my sister about it. The doors opened, an old man got off, and the bus drove away. My sister was gone. I freaked out and called my mom, who called my grandma, and the search began. We finally found her wandering around by the library. Turns out she had drifted away from the stop and the bus missed her. Her phone dead, she decided just to walk to the library. I yelled at her for being so stupid but I was super glad she was okay. 21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. // When I was a kid, there was this little girl who lived down the street who always wanted to hang out. And every time I told her no at the door, she magically slipped inside and wouldn't leave. She was like a little, adorable demon.23: Talk about a time someone turned you down. // There was this dance thing at my summer camp, and for some reason most of the kids were asking out people to that activity. There was a kind of cute boy who I had talked to a lot, so after a lot of convincing from my cabin mates, I shyly approached him and asked him to the dance. He said no, and I hid under a bridge crying until dinner. 25: Talk about an ex-best friend. // Bella and I were really close friends in middle school, and we were always hanging out together and going on adventures. We caught crawdads in the river by her house, rode our bikes through the park, made stupid sing-along videos in her living room, went geocaching, and broke cattails by the creek. One time she brought a slug to class and showed it to our teacher and she almost fainted. It was awesome. Another time we were doing some dumb shit in the locker rooms during lunch, jumping from locker to locker and hiding inside them, and the gym teacher caught us. I stayed cool and lied through a sweet, innocent grin about how we were just trying to find a lost phone. It actually worked. It kind of fell apart when we went to an amusement park for a field trip thing. I couldn't afford a fast pass, and she could, and she just left me and ran to join another group. I was so upset. 27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body. // I love my mom's hair. It's so beautiful. It's black and curly, with a streak of silver cutting through it. 29: Talk about what turns you on. // Beautifully choreographed fight scenes accompanied by classical music or dubstep. 31: Talk about what you think death is like. // Death is something that scares me because no one really knows what it's like. It could be just straight up nothing. I hope it's not. I hope that.... I hope there is a heaven. And I hope that it isn't boring. I don't think I could describe heaven. It's too great for the imagination. 33: Talk about what you do when you are sad. // I usually eat a lot of snacks while curled up in a nest of blankets and listen to depressing music and/or movie soundtracks. Or I watch cartoons. 35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. // Being passive aggressive, for one. I do it a lot, especially when I'm upset but don't want to admit it. But it's a shitty thing to do. I also wish I could stop chewing my lip because it really hurts and it's a bad habit I need to break but can't. 37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. // I thought I was in love with this boy back in sixth grade, but it turns out it was just a crush I developed because I figured I needed to have one and he was good at track. Anyway the moral of the story is sixth graders don't know what being in love is and honestly I still don't think I've quite figured it out. 39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier. // One. Don't get angry with people just to be dramatic, because it just ends up hurting everyone and it doesn't make you feel any better. Two. You're not better than other people just because you've read a book or two. Three. People fall out of love far more quickly that they fall in love. Four. Don't be afraid to be a little weird. Everyone is weird, and life is to short to pretend otherwise. Five. Don't get too emotionally invested in people who won't do the same for you.