came up with some nice new character facts for Caspian today while RPing him so here they are in a conducive list:

he's bisexual but is demiromantic, possibly aromantic. It takes him a really long time of knowing someone before he even considers the relationship to be possibly romantic. In the few romantic relationships he's had, he's know the partner for literal years (and those relationships never lasted long in the romance department because Caspian simply Does Not have the experience to keep something like that alive and usually self-sabotaged the relationship)

he enjoys toying with people, being very good at reading faces and situations and body languages -- even if he plays into being a clueless sylvari, he knows exactly what is going on

he will call absolutely anyone dear/darling/dearheart, especially if he cannot remember your name

he will refer to fellow sylvari as little brother/little sister/little sibling regardless of whether or not said sylvari is actually younger than him

he's dyslexic as fuck and thus has a love-hate relationship with books

he's easily squicked by body horror, and may now have a newfound fear of moths (thanks Finnegan)

bitch is dramatic as fuck with his mesmer magic (which is a deep magenta that bursts into flower petals when disrupted)

percy series ep 3 thoughts

so you can't rate shows on letterbox'd so i'm going to log my pjo thoughts here: (spoilers for ep3) (watched 27 dec 2023)

oracle scene was funny. for all the show onlys, it seems as though grover is the one kind of being built up as the character who's going to betray percy (at least in the beginning of this ep), which is an interesting choice.

on the action sequences (part 1): i do think the action sequences are pretty lackluster. when i rewatched the percy jackson lightning thief movie, the action and violence and reactions seemed very proportionate - like, the appearance of a horrifying monster actually had impact, whereas i feel like in the show, the pacing and choreography make it seem pretty banal.

the fight with the fury on the bus was uninteresting and didn't seem like much of a fight at all. annabeth's supposed to be quick and athletic and a really skilled knife fighter (skilled enough that she can even use a knife as her primary weapon instead of a sword) but there so far hasn't really been any proof of that. i'm willing to be a lot more generous though because the actors are very young and the target audience is clearly much younger than i am as well, and it's obvious that for those reasons they're trying to avoid violence/body horror/gore. however, the fight scene with clarisse in ep 2 was incredibly well-shot and choreographed, and it had action and movements that felt real and impactful, so i don't know why they don't try to achieve the same things with the other fight/action sequences.

on medusa: i was so interested by the way they were going to decide to portray medusa's story, especially because of sally's comment in ep 1 to percy about perseus being a hero because 'he killed monsters' like medusa: "who said she was a monster?"

i loved em's line: "the gift the gods gave me is that I cannot be bullied anymore," which initially insinuated to me that this adaptation of medusa is the one who was sexually assaulted by poseidon in athena's temple, so athena made it so no man could pull that with her ever again, but then they went with the "athena decided I embarrassed her and needed to be punished" story which i kind of feel like isn't totally consistent with the "gift" narrative? i mean they can be mutually exclusive in that what may have been originally a punishment from a god can be taken as a gift since she has to live with and make the best of it, but when medusa called herself "a survivor" and talked about "bullies" (a term that makes sense in the context given that it's a kid's/middle grade show) i will admit i was hoping it would go a different direction. alternately though if she were a SA survivor i don't know if killing her would have been the right move in the end lmao and ik they had to kill her for the plot.

i do think there was a more overarching message of the importance of understanding the unheard/unrepresented sides of stories as well as the lesson for annabeth that the gods aren't infallible and morally just but are petty and vindictive and cruel and humanlike. so i think the story was dealt with pretty well, all things considered.

on medusa and the action sequences (part 2): again, i think medusa's death scene was pretty anticlimactic. (this is not because i see them as adaptations of equal quality or even on the same playing field at all, but again,) to compare it to the pjo:tlt movie - the movie's medusa fight scene had a lot more impact; the tension and fear and stakes felt a lot more heightened and real while still being quite comedic/entertaining.

cool idea, in the show, using the hat to turn medusa invisible, but again, i wasn't ever actually convinced that the characters felt scared, under pressure, winded/tired after fighting, or even emotionally scarred by the intensity of the moment/having to decapitate someone. while all of the other scenes portray high emotions very impactfully and earnestly (i.e. sadness, wistfulness, loneliness, hurt/comfort), i have yet to be convinced that any of the demigods have been even a little bit frightened of any of the monsters, from the first fury attack at the met, and this unfortunately makes the stakes seem much lower.

while i understand the focus of the show is on character building (mainly through the dialogue), i don't see why the fight/action scenes can't be just as visually compelling and impactful. the emotional tension between the characters and the depiction of each character's internal conflicts, while powerful, can only do so much if the plot itself isn't supporting those developments, and I feel like the addition of the action sequences in the books serves to elevate the storyline to match the emotional stakes. they can tell the story as much as they want thru voice-over and dialogue, but the characters' physical actions represent just as much about the characters and their choices and motivations as their direct interactions with each other. i think maybe some of this stems from not wanting the story to be misinterpreted or to in any way resemble the movies, but you have to trust your audience. you can't just say everything explicitly, and if you do have to, then i don't think a tv show is the right medium in which to tell the story, which is typically my main issue with book-to-movie/tv adaptations.

anyway, while this seems like a lot of criticism, it's really only that one overarching problem that stands out to me. i obviously love the source material and (anyway would argue that i have to love it in order to want to think about it this much) the show itself, and the actors, and this has absolutely EVERYTHING to do with the fact that it's extremely extremely obvious how thought-out, how deliberate every single minute detail is. if there's one thing at all that matters to me, it's creators who care about their work, and this is a perfect example of ones who do.

on tv show percabeth: BRO "I CHOSE HER 'CAUSE I COULDN'T IMAGINE WE'D EVER BE FRIENDS" ???? FUCKING INSANE THING TO PUT IN THE SCRIPT LIKE?? they were NEVER this explicitly antagonistic toward each other in the books holy FUCK i mean. this drastically changes the trajectory and future impact of the slow-burn. the books were strangers to friends to lovers - maybe strangers to annoyances to friends to lovers if we're being generous, but the show is really going for that enemies to lovers arc huh. the fan edits are gonna go so fucking crazy once we start getting toward the final 2 books. and for them to only have one itty-bitty kiss midway thru botl with no emotional catharsis or resolution until the tail end of tlo? we're all gonna be absolutely frothing at the mouth for it when it finally finally finally comes around.

excited for next week!! i've been dying for the st. louis arch scene.

     MELVI DORMENTAIRE. ( @closedcoffins​ )

“Why do you think I can’t?”

Melvi is privy to the secret knowledge of the true mechanisms behind the game, so it’s understandable that he’s optimistic about the situation where his exceptionally weak bodyguard might not be. How is Luck to know, after all, about the ones that are moving the chess pieces in this match?

He’s not. He’s little more than a fool and weak to sentimentality for people who wouldn’t ever take him back, or at least that’s what knowledge Melvi had been given. It makes him feel a sense of superiority to the unfortunate mafioso, though with that superiority also comes a familiar wave of red-hot anger. How unfortunate it is, he hears that man’s voice say. Even someone like him is able to experience things like ‘emotion’ and ‘sentimentality’. You’re similar, but you’ll never be the same.

Since they’re alone, Melvi doesn’t bother hiding his grimace, or the way his hands clench into fists for just a moment.

“I like you very much, Luck Gandor, so I’ll let you in on something I wouldn’t normally. I’ll get away with this because the motions have already been coreographed, and there’s nothing left to do but put on a show. Can you fathom that? Can you understand things well enough to know you don’t have even a sliver of the full picture? No, I expect not. But you’ll see, soon. I’ll be the one laughing with the heart I don’t yet have. And when I get it---I’ll probably laugh then, too.”

     Luck’s face remained unflinching, unreadable. His eyes, now brown in the shade, pierced through Melvi’s face and into his heart. Trying to read the malice behind his words, place them in some juxtaposition only Luck himself could comprehend. Calm certainty permeated his being, total control. Compared to Melvi, who let his wants & needs drive him first, Luck was the epitome of ice - cold deduction.      To Melvi’s own credit, he did reach a certain position that very few of his temperament would allow, but how much of that was from actual intelligence or skill, Luck couldn’t say. Most days, he’s surprised the Runoratas haven’t done anything to kill Melvi just yet, the way he kept strutting around the place like he owned it. If there was one thing Melvi had impressed upon Luck in the days of knowing him, it was that he certainly bred arrogance.      “ . . . i s’ppose i ought to be grateful, then. for you humoring my question. the fact i’ve earned such trust in so little time indicates you find me a certain level of reliable. “ Luck gave him a practiced smile ; a friendly one to any untrained eye, but one without any sort of conviction behind it. He suppressed a chuckle -- not because Melvi himself had said anything comedic, but that the situation itself was an ironic one. It seemed that Melvi didn’t really consider Luck a threat, or thought of him capable beyond the role of pawn. That was alright ; Luck could swallow his pride to keep the illusion up. It’s not as if he hasn’t gotten used to it.      Still . . . it wasn’t as if Luck was completely heartless either. Despite his own distaste for the young man, there was an element of pity there. No matter how it goes, Melvi was going to be the one left behind -- and he didn’t see it. He didn’t know it. It was some possibility that could never cross his mind. Luck didn’t think he lacked intelligence, but . . . he was certainly no better than a pawn himself.      “ however, if i may . . . perhaps i’m abusing such trust in my position, so take my words with a grain of salt. you do, after all, have a far better understanding of the board than i do, but . . . in my experience, just because a show has been rehearsed time & time again, doesn’t mean many things can’t go awry during the performance. in fact, it’s almost a guarantee, what with nerves running high and all. actors forget lines, props go missing, someone breaks a leg . . . strategy requires more than just a well - made plan. if you aren’t flexible, if you have nothing to fall back on, then it doesn’t matter how well the show is choreographed. it will still fall apart. you shouldn’t overlook the possibility of failure. in doing so, you’ve fated it to happen. perhaps it’s my own sentimentality speaking, “ his smile started to soften, “ but, it may be wise not to underestimate your opponent. firo tends to be a lot more than you bargain for. “ He chuckled.

Here is my recap of the Gleeking News: Alex Newell episode of the podcast.

This episode as the title states is with the very special Tony award winning Alex Newell. Kevin said they forced Alex to speak to them today because they are obsessed and no one deserves all the awards more. Jenna said like they don’t have enough to do that we are like hey you want to come on our podcast and talk about your Tony win. Kevin said they need to do more breaking Glee news. So they are starting it off strong with Alex Newell. He says he feels like they have seen Alex grow from fetus to final form but in truth they are just getting started. Kevin talked about having witnessed and given some critique to Alex on the Glee project. He said Alex never lets him live it down. He said people see you on stage or when you are camera but they don’t see the other things you do to hustle and get your name out there. He said he doesn’t think he has seen anyone work as hustle and work as hard as Alex. He said Alex has a huge successful music career and randomly shot of an EP no big deal. Jenna said Alex has a successful music career, Broadway multiple times now, the first non-binary performer to win a Tony for Best Performance by an Actor in a Featured Role in a Musical, 2 musical tv shows. What else is there to do? Kevin said also undeniable, you meet Alex and you see Alex, you have to hire him. He said Alex has never been better in Shucked. Kevin said Jenna was the first Glee member to win a Tony and now Ali and Alex from the Glee Project have won acting awards. He said how does the exclusive three member club feel. Jenna said it feels like the EGOT…just kidding. She said look at the group too..how cool that is. You have an Asian American producer that has one 2 Tony’s, you’ve got Ali Stroker who is absolutely amazing, and Alex Newell. It’s like yes diversity. Kevin said it is sort of testament to what Ryan was trying to showcase in Glee with all these different type of people and the people who are out there being accepted and winning awards at the actual Tony’s is the most diverse crew of our group. Jenna said it makes her proud to be in their company. She said the Tony Awards are special., coming from theatre its such a hard profession, the whole industry is a hard profession I but theatre is like it’s own thing. To watch people come together at the Tony’s it’s like Broadway’s biggest night out. It’s very exciting to see all the performances from shows you didn’t get to see, celebrate every performer, every crew member, every producer, everybody who has a hand, dresser, wardrobe, everything who has a hand it it. It’s such a celebration of the community. Jenna said being in the Broadway community feels like you are the Tony’s every night. It’s such a tight knit community and there’s this very deep understanding. Jenna said kudos to Alex who is doing that number 8 times a week. Kevin said he remembered talking to Alex when he was going to New York and he was like I need to come see you and it was only a few weeks into the show and Alex was like I am already tired, I’m exhausted. Kevin said you see the show and you will fully understand. That show is nonstop because it is so energetic. Kevin said he is going to say it a billion times but if you are in New York go see Shucked. He said it’s so hard to get something to stay on stage once it’s there and this show spread by word of mouth. He said it’s the funniest thing he has seen since Book of Mormon. He said its so so funny and good music.

Jenna said she ran into Brooke who was one of their choreographers on Glee, she was going to New York to see the opening of New York New York because she had some friends in it and Jenna said you have to see Alex. Brooke said she would only be in New York for 48 hours. She managed to go and when Jenna saw her after she came back from her trip, she came up to Jenna and said thank god you told me, it’s the best show ever, she laughed from beginning to end, she had so much fun, Alex is a freaking star, and literally was the best experience ever, go see it if you can. Jenna was like see Kevin told me. Kevin said it’s really wild because you see the Tony performance and yeah it’s a show about corn. Jenna said crazier things have been done on the stage. Kevin said as someone who is only peripherally part of the theater community, lots of friends, when you see the types of shows that broadway does put on, give a chance, and funds it’s always sort of mind boggling and he is always in awe of how open and accepting that community is. He said obviously all of these communities could be better and more accepting but he feels the Broadway community has always led in a lot of ways. You have this show about corn that was given a chance. Jenna said it is like that little girl with the suitcase coming to New York with a hope and prayer. Jenna said she feels like Kevin is a part of thee Broadway community adjacent. Kevin said it is so hard to do and he is awe of all of them that have done it and continue to do it. Jenna said it’s amazing. Kevin said it’s really amazing and without further ado let’s bring on Alex. Jenna said they only had them for a very short amount of time and they were so gracious to come on and give them this time…so.

Tony Winner Alex Newell

Kevins said look at that room. Alex said he is in his house. Kevin said he is going to cry and congratulations. Jenna said congrats you did it. Jenna asked if Alex slept with it last night. Alex said no, they gave it up the day before to get it engraved. Alex said they wanted to take it Tuesday night and he said I hate you all for even thinking about that. He said when he won it everyone wanted to touch and screaming drunkenly you have to pry it out of my cold dead hands. Kevin said it’s like I have waited too damn long for this you are not taking it away from me. Jenna said we are so freaking proud of you.

Jenna asked Alex to tell them how they are feeling right now. Alex said crazy, he’s not hung over but his body still hung over from all the emotions. She doesn’t have the words to describe how she is feeling. What do you say when you have been worked for something for so long and wanted something for so long. Also, they got a Tony for a musical about fucking corn. Who would have thought. They all thought Alex would get one for Once On This Island. Kevin said he should have wine one by the way. He said he sort of kind of sort of still won one for that show which is a great thing…but its’ about corn. Kevin said but it’s so damn good. He said him and everyone else that has seen it has been telling everyone to see this musical about corn. Jenna mentioned how Brooke told her that it’s the best thing she has seen and so good. Kevin said it’s stand up comedy with country music. Jenna said I love that. Kevin said you have won a Tony so obviously you are incredible but honestly you have never been better. He said he has been watching Alex perform for a very long time and he has no notes. Alex said that is lot that Kevin always has notes. Jenna echoed this. Kevin said all of it was so damn good. Kevin said there is something about watching Alex now, the power, the confidence, the acting, the singing all of it was so damn good.

Jenna asked what has it been like dong the show since they won. Alex said crazy, you’d think the applause was great then but now it is otherworldly and please like actually sit down. He said the first night after the Tony’s we understand it, we get it, yeah yeah yeah but that matinee he was not expecting that and that after show he was not expecting it. Alex said I have no idea what these people are drinking at the bar, if they giving them heavy pours. Kevin said, they are for the record but also you are great. Jenna said they are like enjoy the corn. Kevin I said they got me acting crazy, he said Alex saw him after the show, he was look oof heavy pour. Alex said, heavy pour that’s what I keep telling them and heavier, heavier is the crown. Kevin said you don’t need a heavy pour, you are good no matter what.

Kevin asked how is everyone at the show feeling. Alex said everyone is great. Everyone is in good spirits. Everyone was so proud He said John Behlmann, who they call their leading man because most of their scenes are with him or Maizy (Caroline Innerbichler) surprised Alex that night at the very end of the show and was like I will never be as strong as your whiskey, dirty as your thoughts, or fancy as your Tony. Alex said he lost his mind. He wasn’t expecting it. They wanted him to sing a song and bring out the Tony and he was like that is far too much. They don’t need a spotlight on her Tony, being like look at me I won a Tony.

Alex said he did something very shady, and does not recommend doing it. Tuesday morning their associate director sent notes out and sent Alex two notes as he was walking to the theatre. At the time they had their Tony award in their dressing room and wrote back Thank You so much and a picture of the Tony. Jenna said I thought you were going to be like no notes I am a Tony winner. Kevin said that’s the type of behavior I want to see.

Jenna asked what was Tony day like for you and even the Tony nominations because obviously like for Once On This Island they were waiting for Alex’s name to be called and were so shocked when it was such a snub and unfortunate. Jenna said for her this felt like redemption and finally Alex is getting the recognition they deserve. Alex said they were very still in the bed when Tony nominations came out because they were at the Met Gala the night before. Kevins said that’s damn right. Alex said they were just out here sitting with Glenn Close and Jimmy Fallon and rubbing elbows with Anna Wintour. Alex went to Anna’s house and said 10 out of 10. If you have the opportunity go to her house it really encompasses who that woman is she is so warm and inviting side note. Alex did the complete opposite of what they did for Once On This Island. They didn’t want to jinx it and have egg on their face. For Once On This Island they went to brunch with their closest friends. This time he was like I should sleep through it and he woke up to his phone being hot like actually physically hot. On Tony day Alex tried to go in as zen as possible, everyone kept saying you are going to win you are going to win, and Alex was like yeah if I win, if I win, let’s say if because their category was stacked with some phenomenal performances this year. Even within their own cast. Kevin Cahoon, he was brilliant, he was so good and still is so good. Alex was trying to be balanced and even in how they were doing everything. It was almost a stressful day but he tried to live in the moment of the relaxedness of it all. Jenna asked if Alex was thinking more negatively or positively or trying to ignore that all. Alex said they were trying ignore all of it. Kevin said Alex looked genuinely shocked, they called your name and he was like oh. Jenna said your Alex’s mom too. Kevin said it’s not often someone he knows os well wins a Tony or well any award and as much as they have all joked about it, talked about it, and wanted it for Alex, to actually then see the moment happen and see that happen on Alex’s face was just remarkable. Someone who has wanted this for so long and was still so surprised when their name was called and it was beautiful and you got up their and pulled that speech together and it was beautiful. Jenna said it was really beautiful. Alex said thank you, they said they don’t like planned speeches because you knew you were going to win, you knew you were going to win if you planned a speech. They wanted it to be really genuine because she didn’t know what was going to happen at all, they really didn’t, and they wanted to be clear in how they spoke and what they were saying and very pointed. Alex would be nowhere without the people in their building, in their cast and crew, those are the people they are doing their show for each and every night. Kevin said 8 times a week. Alex said 8 times a week dear god. Jenna said that is very gracious and that is what makes you such a good performer.

Kevin asked how is Alex’s mom. Alex said she is wonderful and asked if she could hold Alex’s Tony when they got back to their seat at the very end and he was like no, I just got it back. They were headed the press room and they were like no no no you show is performing you have to go get ready and they took the Tony back and he was Tonyless again putting on their costume. Jenna said what is it like performing after just winning the Tony, where is your head, were you able to find i. Alex said no, no, no, it felt like someone slapped them on ass and said go. Because that is really what happened. Also it I was hot as balls in that theatre. Alex said he remembers looking at Stephanie Hsu, and saw her get a bottle of water and she was like do you want one, Alex was like please. Not us sitting in our haute couture literally begging for water like literally begging for water like someone please give us an ounce of water. Kevin said turn on the misters like its Disney World. Alex said even downstairs where everyone was getting changed for their performances or getting changed back into their gowns and tuxes it was even hotter because they were in the basement. So all Alex remembers is someone grabbing their Tony, sitting in a seat, unzipping their dress, slapping blue eye shadow on them, snatching a wig off, putting another wig on, and him literally eating up stairs and being like… Kevin said something about hitting those high notes. Jenna said that’s so wild. Alex said by the time they were done the Tony’s were over. Lea was singing Don’t Rain and they were like oh so it’s done. Jennas said and then you celebrate and you party. Alex said then the Tony never left their sight. Jenna said I’m sure everybody wanted to touch it. Alex said everyone wanted to touch it, I don’t understand, why do want to touch it, it’s fine. Kevin said that’s what he does at Jenna’s house, he goes up and spins them. Jenna said she had a friend there and they were like you touched your Tony. Alex said it’s actually the cutest one because it does things. Jenna said it’s compact and it’s cute. Alex said the Oscar is just statuesque. Kevin said I mean you could do something with that.

Kevin said I have to say that he loves that the three Glee people that have won Tony’s couldn’t have happened to a nicer more talented group. Jenna laughed. He’s said Alex I can’t overstate this enough, you are the hardest working person. People don’t always seat, he was saying before they see it if you are on stage or screen. He said Alex has been on several tv shows, gigantic singles, hits upon hits, you just keep going and are good and show up and do the job. Alex said that’s all you can do sometimes. They said their lifestyle is not cheap, so they have to whore themselves out, they have to go out and do the things because they like nice things. You think this wig pays for itself. No. It looks like grew out of my scalp because I paid for it to look it grew out of myself. Jenna said it does look like it grew out of your scalp. Kevin said the difference is a lot of people will sit there and want those things and not do the work to actually get them. He said Alex has never not done the work. Alex said they will never ever in their life ever quote Kim Kardashian ever again and this is on record but she was right when she said get your fucking ass up and work. That is the one good thing that woman has said.

Jenna said they are going to have Alex back on the show to do some memory sifting with them about some episodes. Alex said oh god. Jenna said it’s been so much fun and very therapeutic. Alex said so it’s therapy, love that. Kevin said for free. Jenna said they are so so proud of them and congratulations and truly just enjoy this time and also congrats on the show. She said to say hi to Andrew for her and just enjoy it and they deserve it all. Kevin said it means a lot in their busy schedule this week especially that they snuck out some time for them and they love them so much and it was good to see him. Alex said they will always carve out time and they love them both. Jenna and Kevin said love you so much and congrats.

Alex. Newell. Tony. Award. Winner.

There you have it. There’s our Gleeking News. How many times can they say they are proud of Alex. When good things happen to good people. They said they hoped everyone enjoyed this Gleeking News, this special special episode.

Go check out Shucked if you are in New York. Listen to the cast recording. Shucked is great. Go enjoy it. Enjoy Alex.

Thanks for listening.

The court jester dvd danny kaye

#The court jester dvd danny kaye movie

Well, “The Court Jester” has been my favorite live-action comedy film since I was a kid. Good.”? Searching for a link to the screenplay of The Court Jester (see below)? A big fan of Sylvia Fine’s clever patter songs? Can’t get enough information about one of Danny Kaye’s best-loved films? Welcome.Īs you probably suspect by now, the title of this blog comes from the 1956 Danny Kaye film, “The Court Jester,” specifically a running dialog exchange between Kaye’s character Hubert Hawkins (aka Giacomo) and three other characters.

#The court jester dvd danny kaye movie

Regular appearances on television throughout the years and current availability on DVD and streaming have introduced it to several new generations.Googling for the name of the actor and the movie which begat the classic dialog/lines “Get it? Got it. But since then it’s achieved the happy fate of becoming a beloved classic. Ultimately, The Court Jester was too expensive to be a box office “hit,” only earning $2.2 million in total. Rathbone even got a chance to use his fencing skills during a duel scene with Kaye, with assistance from the choreographer who doubled for him in some shots. The rest of the cast also seem to enjoy their roles, their screen time being balanced well with everyone getting opportunities for laughs. It’s been pointed out how well-suited The Court Jester is to Kaye’s talents–arguably no other comedian could’ve taken his place. Complications ensue, of course, especially when the king’s daughter falls in love with Giacomo and an enchantress casts a hypnotizing spell on him. Hawkins decides to impersonate him in order to find the key. While Hawkins and Jean are traveling, however, they encounter the new court jester Giacomo heading to the castle. Hawkins and rebel captain Maid Jean are tasked with protecting the royal infant while the Fox makes plans to steal the king’s key to a secret tunnel. The throne of England has been taken over by a usurper, and the Fox and his followers are trying to restore the rightful heir to the throne–who is currently still a baby. Kaye plays the former circus performer Hubert Hawkins, who (despite his timidity) has joined a rebel group headed by the Robin Hood-esque outlaw the Black Fox. The plot may sound complicated on paper, but onscreen it has delightful twists and turns. The highlight was certainly the famous “chalice from the palace” sequence, likely based on similarly tongue-twisting old vaudeville routines. And he couldn’t have been given better material to work with than Sylvia’s light-hearted songs and the abundance of witty wordplay. But from the moment he appears onscreen, singing “Life Could Not Better Be” and cavorting with the animated opening credits, Kaye is the heart and soul of the film. This time around Kaye was surrounded by a capable British cast, including Glynis Johns as the attractive rebel captain Maid Jean, Basil Rathbone as the false king’s wiley advisor, Angela Lansbury as a haughty princess, and Robert Middleton as the beefy, villainous Sir Griswold. All in all, the film’s budget went from $2.5 million dollars to $3.7 million, making it the most expensive comedy ever produced at the time. Location shooting was done in Palos Verdes, where its wave-swept coast and rugged cliffs stood in for the shores of medieval England. The film’s two largest sets, the interior of the castle and the courtyard, were constructed on Paramount’s sound stages to the tune of $200,000.

Miami might not be like Los Angeles or New York, cities where movies are continuously being shot around every corner. But, Miami has certainly had its fair share of filming. Maybe it was chosen because of the movie's plot and maybe it was chosen because of its location (it hard to shoot a beach scene in Nebraska). Whatever the reason, Miami's presence in the cinema has left other Florida cities to approach, and shyly ask for an autograph. The following is a short list of Miami born movie moments:From Justin to Kelly: How Miami outbid every other city in America for rites to this film is beyond me. Seriously, the bidding war for this must have been up there with bidding on the Olympics or the Super Bowl. A movie featuring American Idol's first winner and runner-up, From Justin to Kelly was enough to make anyone go from nausea to vomiting. Yes, it was seriously that bad. I would provide a lengthy discussion of the plot, but there really wasn't one. Suffice it to say that the story line involved little more than singing, and flapping of limbs to the same choreographed routine....though, in one scene, they did dance with towels. That, in a word, was magical.There's Something About Mary: One of the funniest movies to ever hit the screen, this film featured Cameron Diaz as Mary, a girl who men were willing to go to great lengths to impress. These great lengths included stalking, spying, impersonating and donning a fake British accent. Ben Stiller plays Ted, a clumsy but likeable man in love with Mary; a man who wants to impress her but comes across as a little less psychotic than the rest of the fellows. A definite sleeper hit, this movie had unforgettable scenes, with laugh out loud moments. It also made us look forever differently at hair gel.Scarface: At one time during the 1980s, nearly every teenage boy had a poster of this movie on their bedroom wall. It is a tale about Tony Montana, played by Al Pacino, who comes to Florida as a Cuban refugee. After becoming a gangster, as a result of the 1980s cocaine boom, he rises to the top of Miami's organized crime world, only to fall back down. Originally released to little enthusiasm, Scarface has since become a cult classic and one of the most recognized movies ever made; it has forever left movie fans considering it one of their little friends.Bad Boyz: The movie that left us all wondering what "you gonna do when they come for you," Bad Boyz features Martin Lawrence and Will Smith as two detectives on the Miami police force. After 120 million dollars in drugs are stolen, the two detectives are given the option of getting the drugs back or losing their jobs. They fight and squabble with each other, but their mutual love is also genuine, leading this duo to be compared to those of Lethal Weapon and Starsky and Hutch. Though this movie is far fetched - as police dramas often are - it is entertaining, fast-paced, and the action is hard to pass up. This movie led to a sequel, which was also shot in Miami.Any Given Sunday: One of the more action-packed football films, Any Given Sunday includes a star-studded cast of both actors and professional athletes. With a portion of the movie filmed in Miami, the Orange Bowl Stadium was disguised as home turf for a fictitious football team, the Miami Sharks. Al Pacino plays an intense coach while Cameron Diaz plays an owner, and a not very nice one at that. The football movie greatly differs from heartwarming ones like Rudy or The Replacements. Instead, it shows the inner workings and politics involved with running a professional team. Source by Jennifer Jordan

The brothers' movie

11/07/2015

They don't use the same last name, but they are siblings. Pedro Pascal (40) the Chilean actor who starred in Game of Thrones and now has a starring role in the Netflix series Narcos, uses his mother's surname because it is easier to pronounce in English. 17 years younger, Lucas Balmaceda Pascal (23), also an actor, debuted in Los 80 and today stars in the TVN series Juana Brava. Here, both talk for the first time about their relationship, their love for cinema and their mutual admiration.

José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal was born in Chile, but a few months later he had to go into exile with his parents and his older sister, Javiera, to Denmark. It was the end of 1975. Thanks to the Rockefeller scholarship granted for his father, the doctor José Balmaceda Riera, a year later they moved to the United States: first they lived in San Antonio, Texas. Life there was just beginning and it was not easy.

Seventeen years later, in 1992, Lucas Balmaceda was born in Orange County, California, into the comfort of a family that was financially in its prime. His dad was at the peak of his career: as a fertility specialist and director of one of the University of California's reproductive health centers. But suddenly they moved back to Chile when Lucas was three years old and his brother Nicolas was eight. The two older ones stayed there. Pedro was already studying drama at Orange County High School of the Arts. Then he went to New York to study theater at the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University.

After a couple of small appearances in TV series, in 2014 he took the big leap in his career: he played Prince Oberyn in Game of Thrones, which made him world famous. Today, he has a starring role in the series Narcos. He is also filming a movie with Matt Damon and Willem Dafoe.

Fame came early for Lucas. After leaving Saint George High School in 2010, he studied theater at the Universidad Católica, and he began to shine: in year fourth, he starred in the theater play "La noche obstinada", by choreographer Pablo Rotemberg, and got a role in the successful television series Los 80 and today, in his last year, he is the co-star of Juana Brava, the new TVN nighttime series.

Scene one:

Lucas appears in Pedro's life

P: "I was 17 when Lucas was born. He was a baby when I left to go to university. I remember my first visit back and Lucas, who was not even two years old, was already the owner of the house. I remember those looks, wanting to tell me: 'I don't know who you are, but this is my house, mate.

To this day I have never seen that personality in another child. It was fascinating to see that wit in someone so small. Since he was a kid he had that fierce intelligence... The four siblings, Javiera, the eldest and the queen of the family; Nicolas, the doctor; Lucas and I are like a compact and consistent unit. I can't imagine life without them".

L: "Pedro was studying at the university in New York when I was born. When he went home for vacations to see the family, as I didn't know him, I thought: 'who is this guest, who is this weirdo who kisses my mother? She's mine!'. Back in Chile, every year Pedro came to visit us. It was the most entertaining thing in the world for me. He was much older and he would come with all the coolness, with all the culture of cinema, with horror movies that were not available here. Then we would watch them and play them out, we would do sketches. We would play that Pedro was a murderous monster and we would escape from him. We were each a character. He was very funny, he did voices, he impersonated people. He gets mad when I tell him, but I've always found that he has a Jim Carrey thing about him, he manages to make some impressive faces. When he came on, I couldn't stop watching him, he was too entertaining. We are all big movie buffs thanks to my dad. When I was three years old, he took my brothers and me to see Batman. I remember crying hysterically. I was very young, sensitive, and being in the cinema was like entering to another reality: loud noises, giant screen. I didn't understand anything.

Scene two

Transplanted

P: "What's Chilean about me and what's gringo about me is a very interesting question, because I don't think even at 40 years old I've been able to figure it out. I was raised and educated in the United States and socialized a lot with American pop culture, but Chilean pride has always been unwavering. My parents were exiled for eight years. So our visits to Chile were regular. My whole life I have lived in the United States and my whole life I have visited my relatives in Chile. However, since my siblings were raised in Chile, my connection to the country is much stronger today and it is something I am grateful for. Something that happens to me a lot is that when I say I've been in the U.S. my whole life, they say, "Well, you're a gringo then! And after a conversation in my fluent Spanish with a clear Chilean accent that same person turns around and says: I've been listening to you, you're Chilean!

L: "I am Chilean because I lived and grew up here since I was three years old, but at the same time I have a cultural disconnection: my parents lived 25 years in the United States, my brothers are gringos. My visual culture is super gringo, the TV shows I watched when I was a kid or the movies I watch to this day I understand them from that place: as an American. More than being born in the United States, I feel it's because of my family's background".

SCENE THREE:

The performance

P: "There were good years and bad years (when I started my acting career in the United States). Many years I was a waiter to supplement my income. But from a very young age I was auditioning for professional jobs. In my late twenties my career in the theater was relatively consistent. Then, when opportunities in television arose, I was consolidating and it became much easier to pay my expenses. I think that struggle, going through those situations, empowers you a lot and it's one of the things I'm enormously grateful for. And Game of Thrones was an incredible gift. It's the best role I've ever played and they're the best people I've ever worked with."

L: "It's Pedro's fault that I wanted to be an actor. But when I told him I wanted to study theater it was hard for him, more than anything, because he cares about me and studying theater is hard. You have to be very wise and have a super high self-esteem to take care of yourself. Pedro went through many things. If there is an actor who doesn't have contacts in the United States, it's him. Everything he has achieved is because of his work. That's why when people ask me why I don't go to the U.S., it's a resounding no. Being Pedro Pascal's little brother is not going to get me around the corner; I would have to be Tom Cruise's twin to achieve anything. Even so, Pedro had many failed career starts. In 2011, for example, he was offered a starring role in a series called Wonder Woman and it was eventually canceled. That's why, when Games of Thrones came up, I was like, wow! We were all freaking out, because Games of Thrones is like a worldwide trending topic. All the episodes he was in, we were all watching them together at my house, eating pizza or sushi."

SCENE FOUR:

Mutual lessons

P: "I try not to get too involved in anything Lucas does or how he does it. He has single-handedly created each of his experiences and is one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen. He loves his work and is continually developing his skills for television and theater, and eventually film. He executes like a real artist and, to be honest, it is more common for me to learn something from him than for him to learn something from me. I mean that very sincerely. Lucas reminds me to work hard and keeps me inspired. When I saw him in Los 80 I was incredibly proud, but not surprised. I was seeing something I had always known. The only advice I've given him is to not be such a workaholic, to take care of himself and to be proud of what he's accomplished and what he still has yet to accomplish. Deep down, I'm always going to be the protective big brother."

L: "Pedro is an object of admiration for me. What he says is law for me. Sometimes I ask him: 'Pedro, did you see that movie?' and he says: 'Yes, I didn't like it'. I tell him: 'Oh, I didn't like it either'. The nice thing about our relationship is that it happens so sporadically, once or twice a year, that the moments when we see each other are very intense. We either fight a lot or we love each other too much, but it's always like a story, like a movie. While he's there and I'm here, we talk a lot on WhatsApp and Facebook".

P: "With Lucas we always keep each other up to date on what movies to watch, what TV shows are good. I bug him all the time asking him about what's going on in his life and I'm always asking him about his perspective on things. Despite being away from each other for a long time, Lucas and I are very close and always have been. I see Lucas at the beginning of an amazing career, with an unwavering curiosity and passion. I love it when he confides in me about things he is enjoying or situations he is dealing with."

L: "I've never seen Pedro in theater, but I've been told he's tremendous. On camera, I find that he has a very intense look. He also has, and in that we are very similar, a very strong visual culture, the fact that we have always liked horror movies. He plays characters that hide something, dark characters. A great strength is that he is very sensual, he knows how to handle himself well from seduction".

P: "Lucas is brave, he's fearless. There's nothing he's not willing to try, he's never going to give up on a challenge, he's never going to leave something halfway, no matter what that means to him. Lucas is unstoppable.

Link interview

Oscars of the Past: A Look at Discontinued Categories By Raquel Stecher

The Academy Awards have evolved greatly since that first ceremony was held on May 16th, 1929 in the Blossom Ballroom of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. To quote the late, great Robert Osborne, who himself was the foremost expert on Oscar history, the early days were “a time of great changes everywhere, a dynamic period of transition.” And after the first decade, “the Academy Awards and the Academy itself had become prestigious parts of the film community.” Much of that first decade and beyond saw the Board of Governors and the Academy experimenting with new and shifting categories, establishing a variety of honorary awards and altering the selection process.

There was a time when winners were announced months before the actual ceremonies without nominees, just a sole winner and honorable mentions and when write-in nominations were allowed and the Board of Governors hand-selected winners without input from the Academy. The awards have changed over time and the process has been fine-tuned. While some categories have lasted to this day, many have been discontinued, relegated to the history books as anomalies of Oscar’s past. Let’s take a look at some of the most notable discontinued categories.

BEST UNIQUE AND ARTISTIC PICTURE: 

There were 12 award categories presented at the very first Academy Awards ceremony. A few of these were one-shot deals never to appear again. Best Picture, as it is known today, was split into two categories: Outstanding Picture and Unique and Artistic Picture. While WINGS (’27) is generally considered to be the first Best Picture winner, SUNRISE (’27) won Best Unique and Artistic Picture, a recognition no other film has earned since.

BEST DIRECTING, COMEDY PICTURE & DRAMATIC PICTURE: 

That same year, the Best Director category was split into two: Comedy Picture and Dramatic Picture. There were no nominees, just one winner and one or two honorees. Frank Borzage won the only Best Directing, Dramatic Picture Oscar for 7TH HEAVEN (’27) and Lewis Milestone won Best Directing, Comedy Picture for TWO ARABIAN KNIGHTS (’27). Charlie Chaplin was to be nominated for directing THE CIRCUS (’28), but according to Robert Osborne, the Academy decided to give him a special award instead in recognition for directing, writing, producing and acting in the film. The Academy Board of Judges, as it was known at the time, sang Chaplin’s praises and in a letter wrote to him saying, “the collective accomplishments thus displayed place you in a class by yourself.”

BEST ENGINEERING EFFECTS: 

Special effects artist Roy Pomeroy won the first and only Academy Award for Best Engineering Effects for his work on WINGS (’27). Ralph Hammeras and Nugent Slaughter, the latter of whom was being recognized for his work on THE JAZZ SINGER (’27), received honorable mentions. This award disappeared until 1938 when it was given new life as the Best Special Effects Oscar. It split into two sub-categories: Photographic and Sound. In the mid-1940s, it was changed again to Visual and Audible. By 1963, the Academy decided to present the awards as Best Visual Effects and Best Sound Editing. While Visual Effects is still an active category, Best Sound Editing was merged with Best Sound Mixing to become simply Best Sound.

JUVENILE OSCAR: 

From 1935 to 1961, the Academy presented miniature Oscar statuettes to juvenile actors in recognition for their outstanding contributions to film. There were 12 total recipients at 10 different award ceremonies. The first was Shirley Temple who at 6 years old was presented the statuette by Irvin S. Cobb. He declared “When Santa Claus brought you down Creation’s chimney, he brought the loveliest Christmas present that has ever been given to the world.” Other recipients included Deanna Durbin, Mickey Rooney, Judy Garland, Margaret O’Brien, Peggy Ann Garner, Claude Jarman Jr., Bobby Driscoll and others. Both Garland and O’Brien’s Juvenile Oscars were stolen and the Academy replaced them with new statuettes. There were only 14 miniature statuettes ever made, making this one of the rarest Oscars in history not only because of its size but how few were made. The award wasn’t presented every year and was fairly inconsistent. The last to win was POLLYANNA (’60) star Hayley Mills. Shirley Temple presented the final award and Annette Funicello accepted it on Mills’ behalf. The award was retired and actors under the age of 18 were eventually recognized in the other acting categories.

BEST ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: 

This is by far the strangest and least consistent of the discontinued categories. At the 6th Academy Awards in 1934, a whopping 18 assistant directors were nominated for this new category. Out of the 18 nominees, there were 7 winners each representing one of the major studios. The nominations were not tied to a specific movie, but rather served as recognition for work completed in 1932 and 1933. The first winners included: Charles Barton (Paramount), Scott Beal (Universal), Charles Dorian (MGM), Fred Fox (United Artists), Gordon Hollingshead (Warner Bros.), Dewey Starkey (RKO) and William Tummel (Fox). The category was presented at the next four Academy Awards but with only a few nominees and just one winner. After 1938, the Academy retired the category, choosing to focus on Best Director.

BEST DANCE DIRECTION:

Choreographers enjoyed some recognition during the hey-day of 1930s musical with the Best Dance Direction Oscar. This category was presented from 1936 to 1938. At the 8th Academy Awards, seven choreographers were nominated, each for two different musical numbers, not necessarily in the same film. Dave Gould won for his dance numbers in BROADWAY MELODY OF 1936 (’35) and FOLIES BERGERES DE PARIS (’35). The following two years, seven choreographers were nominated, each for just one dance number. This category was short-lived and did not make a comeback in 1939.

The Rebel/叛逆者: A Review of Sorts

After being only semi-invested in the Rebel, I ended up getting so into it in the final weeks of its release, I’ve shelled out on IQIYI premium just to get the final couple of episodes a few days earlier.

That’s right kids, it’s a Review of Sorts. Unfortunately, I could not find a translation of the novella the drama is based on, so will be looking at it as a separate entity. 

Most of this post is spoiler-free, however I have dedicated a few paragraphs at the end of it to discussing the final episode, as there are a few specific things about it I wanted to mention. There is a clear spoiler warning before that part.

If you don’t want to risk it, TL;DR version of this review goes something like this: Rebel is very decent, and positively one of the best things that I have seen to come out of China since I’ve jumped into that particular rabbit hole. It’s pretty well written, it’s very beautifully dressed and shot, and the cast is killing it. I thought it dropped the ball a little in post production, and I did not always love the pacing. Other than that, it’s incredibly decent, and well worth watching, unless communist propaganda really irks you, in which case stay very well away. 

I have been having many conversations with @supernovasimplicity​ all the way through watching this drama, so there are likely to be some thoughts here that are influenced by those. 

The story centers around Lin Nansheng, a struggling servicemen in the Guomingdang party. He has a great analytical mind, and absolutely no emotional capacity for his job. He has trouble handling violence, he is impulsive, he cannot speak to his superiors without bursting into tears, and has nothing even remotely resembling a poker face. And that is what makes this drama as enjoyable as it is. 

I don’t think Lin Nansheng’s journey would have been nearly as exciting had he started it from a place of competence. He botches up everything he touches because his big brain switches off the moment his emotions kick in. And so, when you see him grow in confidence, learn to control himself, learn to fake his smiles and compliments, you can’t help but feel a strange sense of pride. It also makes Lin Nansheng very likeable as a character for reasons other than Zhu Yilong’s ability to look like a bush baby.

It did take me a while to feel fully engaged with his performance - not because there is anything lacking in it, but just because it’s hard to be truly surprised by his choices after the exposure I have given myself to his work. That said, at about a half-way point I got charmed by him anyway, and there were quite a few scenes that were truly mesmerising. There were scenes where he broke out of the familiar mould of big unguarded eyes and fluttering wet eyelashes, and tried something that was not pretty: every time to a great success. I am hoping to see more of that in his future work. 

I really wanted to like the female lead, Zhu Yizhen, but unfortunately both the way she was written and the way she was performed by Tong Yao left me somewhat cold. It did not help of course that the screenplay ended up sidelining her at every turn, leaving her with very little personal agency. She was set up so interestingly, but in the end her sole purpose became being someone for Lin Nansheng to pine over. It is particularly curious from a perspective of meta storytelling: seeing how this is all centered around superiority of communism, which as a whole was, arguably, ahead of its time in the matters of binary gender equality.

The ensemble cast of the drama is stunning. Wang Yang came very close to  stealing the show at several points as Chen Moqun, somehow managing to make his rather unlikeable character interesting. I can say the same thing about Zhu Zhu who absolutely shined as Lin Xinjie, showing an incredible range and imagination in her performance.

The overarching story of the show is engaging, with some incredibly suspenseful elements; every narrative arc including a nice progression through it. As spy thrillers go, it was fairly well plotted. You could if you go looking for a few things that did not pay off in a satisfying way (notably, the Chekhov’s cyanide capsule), but you overall the story really was well told for the most of it. 

I did, however, feel like the pacing started to fall apart in the last quarter of the drama. Last episode in particular really did feel rushed, not just due to its pace, but also in a way it failed to pay off the final mission in any visible way. There will be more on that in the spoiler section of this post.

Important to note that The Rebel is a show made in Communist China in the year 2021. It does not ideologically side-step from the path that was laid out for it by that fact. Which is to say, it is, undeniably, filled with propaganda. Communists are the good guys, and if you think a good guy (or gal) is not a communist, they probably secretly are. With one exception of a friendly character who is not a communist, and whose fate we actually never find out. Curious, that. 

The Rebel is not a kind of a show where censorship-appeasing scenes are shoehorned in. It’s a kind of a show in which the main theme is Sacrifice For the Party.

Aside from the being the moral vector of the show, Mao’s gentle teachings explicitly help get Ling Nansheng out of prolonged depression following his injury, and almost annoyingly, this sat incredibly well with the character, as he was written. Lin Nansheng is conceived as this naive idealist who wants to be on the front line, who needs validation and support of others. His - and I can’t believe I’m saying this - his being disillusioned in his beliefs and choosing to join a party which includes people whom he likes and trusts makes sense. Him finding this one thing that gives him hope and letting it propel him into gaining confidence and competence makes sense. 

In many ways, the Rebel is a story of Lin Nansheng’s failure to become an antagonist within the world of the drama.

I have honestly spent this past couple of weeks pondering whether being well written makes political propaganda better or worse, whether the subtlety of it makes it more or less palatable, whether it’s enough, as a viewer, to be aware of it to shrug it off. Ultimately, this is not something I could or should make moral judgements on, but I do believe that it’s possible to acknowledge the fact that propaganda exists in the drama, and still appreciate it for a good piece of television that it is. 

That said, I am very well aware that me being kind of okay with it stems entirely from my own removal from the culture this is made in, and I am, perhaps, lucky to even have a choice as to whether I want to engage with a product which is, undoubtably, here to dress political ideology in fancy clothes.

I have, on the other hand, also seen many things in Russian media of the “Annexation of Crimea is Good Actually” variety and those make me feel very unwell, so feeling somewhat at ease with blatant political propaganda in Chinese media makes me the biggest hypocrite.

But, I digress.

Before we go into some specific plot-related things, I would like to mention that the Rebel has this weird dichotomy in which the production is sublime, and the post-production… not so much. The show very well shot. Every element of it sits perfectly together, not a single prop out of place, not a single extra underdressed, not a page of script not put to good use. It’s lit to perfection. It’s scored beautifully. So much of this show is just stunning.

And then… there is post-production. 

This is not even about bad CGI (and the CGI is, indeed, bad), it’s just that most of post-production as a whole feels rushed.

Starting with surprisingly imperfect editing, which at times just fails to make the scene flow together. The final line of dialogue would be spoken within a scene, and it would fade to black instantly without a single breath to indicate a full stop. A montage sequence would be created, but every shot within it condensed to a second, making it feel incredibly fast-paced when the effect should be the opposite. There would be a cut away from a speaking character and to the same speaking character from a slightly different angle, making it dynamic without any reason to do so. There are a couple of truly startling jump-cuts.

I did not speed this gif up. This is part of a romantic montage, edited like it’s a goddamn action sequence.

And of course dear old friend slowing down footage shot at 24FPS. Please don’t do this. You think no one notices - but we do.

There are other tell-tale signs of production rushing to the finish line: occasional, but very noticeable ADR glitches, very sloppy job done at sound mixing, which contribute to parts of the show feeling ever so slightly off.

It’s not unforgivable, but it does make me wish the same amount of care and efforts that went into shooting this drama would also go into it after it was all in the can. 

Oh, and just because if you know me you know I have a professional fixation on fights, and I am happy to say most action scenes are toe-curlingly delightful. Hot damn those fights are good. I am absolutely in love with the shot below, for example. Placing an actor behind a piece of set so he can exchange places with the stunt double during a one shot is such an old trick, but the execution, timing and camerawork are just... flawless. This is what perfection looks like.

Now we got all that out of the way...

SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES FINALE BELOW

Here’s the thing. I wanted to love the ending and I found that I could not.

The final mission was presented as important, and honestly the scene in which Zhu Yizhen is sending the vital message out as Lin Nansheng holds his ground in hand to hand fight is incredibly dynamic. Party, this is due to the fight itself being incredibly well choreographed, yes, but it’s also where it sits within the narrative, how high the stakes are for everything surrounding it. 

But then, the tension all but bleeds out. The Important Message is sent, the fight is won, and we are treated to ten minutes of a very slow car chase, problem of which is not even its speed as much as its placing within the story. As in, by this point both of those operatives have lost their cover, and completed their Very Important Mission. It would be very sad if they died, but their survival does not technically contribute to their cause. Moreover, Zhu Yizhen getting mortally injured in order to protect Lin Nansheng as part of her mission read a little empty when the mission is technically over. 

While I personally found Lin Nansheng slow recuperation and his low key ending enjoyable, I think I would have preferred to have seen a more tangible pay-off to all the sacrifices made in the name of “bright communist future”, just a little more justification for every moment of death and despair we witnessed. I would have certainly at the very least preferred to see Wang Shi’an’s death on screen. Considering how many likeable characters martyred themselves on screen, denying us the death of the one antagonist just seemed cruel. 

I really did love the ambiguity of the final few scenes however, if we consider the children choir at the end a fantasy. The idea that Lin Nansheng will live out his life in this hope that Zhu Yizhen is still alive, imagining her just outside of his field of vision, his only joy being in this fantasy of her… now, that is incredibly strong. I equally like the idea of rest being promised to him at the end of his journey, and said rest being painful, and slow and unwelcome.

But it felt like as they chose not to to lean into the “sweet” part of the bitter-sweet tone of the ending and we’re unable not commit to the “bitter” part either, so it lands with a splat which is somewhat lacklustre. 

---

This concludes my thoughts on the Rebel. 

I am more or less out of Zhu Yilong’s filmography to watch, which is probably a good thing at this point. I have just emerged out of several back to back work projects - literally today - and will hopefully once more have time for things I grew to enjoy doing during the lockdown. 

Those things, if you have not guessed, include watching Chinese television and writing things about Chinese television. 

Cats 1986 (and Others) vs. 2016

A post I made a few months ago comparing information gathered from interviews with different Cats casts has come up again recently and I’ve heard even more interviews since, so I want to add on to that a little and elaborate on the things I’ve already said.

CW: Some of the language regarding Demeter’s backstory is a bit darker than I’ve previously mentioned

So, I’ve now heard interviews from US Tours III, IV, and V, spanning from 1986 to 2012. They’re all Broadway-based, and the Broadway Revival went in a very different direction, but the three tours were all very similar to each other.

In both the tours and in 2016, the cast was sat down before rehearsals to hear the “story of Cats”. However, this meant two completely different things. The Tour casts were told the plot of the show, who their characters were and what they were meant to be doing. The 2016 was told the story of how the show Cats was created, how ALW had the idea and made a show out of it. No mention of the story and characters. This means that the Tour casts were given useful information for building their characters, while the 2016 cast got something that was interesting but did nothing to help them do their jobs in the present. More emphasis was put on the show’s legacy than on how to actually perform it. Trevor Nunn did the 2016 explaining, I believe, and it sounds like he was on an ego trip, talking about what he did instead of what the cast was supposed to do. Trevor Nunn is one of the few people who knows how the show works, so this is quite frustrating.

Though the Tour cast was given a whole story, most of them only remembered the perspectives of their own characters. The point of learning the plot was so that they knew what they were doing. It wasn’t supposed to matter to the audience. So, everyone mainly focused on their own jobs. But, everyone knew Demeter’s backstory, because it was the first thing they were told and it caught their attention. It almost became a meme that the first sentence of the plot was “Demeter was raped by Macavity”.

The story begins with Demeter having just escaped from Macavity. He kidnapped and raped her. Though she didn’t want it, she kind of enjoyed the sex, which messed with her head quite a bit. Bomba went through the exact same thing, but because she enjoyed it, she acts like the whole thing was nothing more than an annoyance. The two react to the same situation in different ways.

Jacob Brent was either given a toned down version of the story (he mentions kidnapping, but not rape), or he chose to give a toned down version to avoid the uncomfortable subject. 

The 2016 knew that Macavity and Demeter had some sort of backstory, but they weren’t very clear on exactly what happened. They decided that they’d had an abusive relationship, but that the whole thing was consensual and there was no kidnapping, because the only element of this story that the audience can pick up without context is that there was some sort of sexual relationship between Macavity and Demeter, but she’s now afraid of him.

At least one cast member said that Macavity was a rapist, but she didn’t elaborate.

This messed with Demeter’s character far more than anyone expected. The rape element honestly isn’t necessary. Demeter and Macavity had some sort of sex, but it could’ve been consensual, with Demeter enjoying the sex but hating the man. That’s actually what Gillian Lynne seemed to have implied in interviews. However, the kidnapping part of the backstory is important, because it establishes the connection between Demeter and Grizabella. While hiding from Macavity, right before the story begins, Demeter sees Grizabella on the Bad Side of Town. Due to not being a Jellicle before this night, she doesn’t know who she is, and therefore has no bias against her. She just sees this woman living on the streets, humans wondering aloud why she isn’t dead, and felt sympathy for her. 

So, when Grizabella appears at the ball and everyone hates her, Demeter wants to intervene, but she doesn’t want to upset her new friends. She came to the Jellicles for protection and is afraid of them rejecting her for siding with their enemy. Still, she tells the tribe what she knows about Griz, possibly trying to convince them to be nicer to her, but it doesn’t work and Demeter just starts following the crowd.

The lyrics Demeter sings, by themselves, are musical exposition that doesn’t imply sympathy. A line like “You’d really have thought she’d ought to be dead” sounds like it could be played as an insult. The words can either mean “I’m surprising the poor thing’s still alive in her condition” or “Why can’t the bitch fuck off and die already?”. Without the context of Demeter’s backstory, Kim Faure picked the latter, when with the context, it’s clearly meant to be the former. So, Demeter’s delivery of her lines in Glamour Cat in 2016 is venomous, almost sadistic.

Later on, towards the end of act one, 2016 Demeter reaches out to Grizabella like she does in most other versions, despite the earlier delivery. What made her change gears? I have no idea.

So, there was a lot of insight on Demeter. She’s the character with the most detailed backstory, making her the closest thing the show has to a protagonist. 

Another character that gets a lot of attention, as he demands, is Tugger. Many Tugger actors were interviewed. I think he’s the favorite character of the host of the podcast. Different Tuggers from different eras responded to certain topics differently. Tuggers from the 1980s were unaware that Tugger was commonly interpreted as Not Straight and that Tuggoffelees is a thing. But, the more recent the show their from, the more they’re aware of and interested in the topic. The Tour V Tugger joined very late, during the last few years of the tour. He had access to the internet and could see what the fandom was up to. He played Tugger as ambiguously bi and, though he hadn’t thought of it at the time, liked the idea of the Tuggoffelees pairing. Tyler Hanes, 2016 Tugger, was the only one interviewed who played Tuggoffelees on purpose.

Tyler Hanes was very interesting. He watched the 1998 film while preparing for the role and didn’t seem to like it very much. He wanted his version of Tugger to be his own and avoided taking inspiration from any other version. John Partridge’s Tugger and Hanes’ Tugger being so different from each other might’ve been deliberate.

But, the choreography is what really messed with Tugger’s character. The host of the podcast mentioned Tugger’s pelvic thrusts and Hanes said that he wanted to do that sort of thing, but the new choreography removed all of it. He couldn’t make Tugger as horny or sexy as he wanted to. It was a key part of the character, but the choreography just wouldn’t let it happen. The result is that a bunch of queens fangirl over Tugger, but because Tugger’s defining trait in his number is being vain and obnoxious, the reason why he, of all toms, is considering the sexiest is completely lost. He’s just a dick to everyone (except Misto) and they love him anyway. 

Other Tuggers do act like assholes during the number, but it’s not the focus. The lyrics are about Tugger being difficult, but the choreography, often to a comedic degree, isn’t about that. The message of Lynne’s choreography is that DESPITE Tugger being obnoxious, he’s a sex god and that’s what matters to his fans. Blankenbuehlers’s choreography mainly focuses on Tugger being obnoxious, which is a better match to the lyrics, but it makes the character less likable.

Also, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The two most sexualized numbers are Tugger’s and Macavity’s. Tugger’s number is about a man being sexy. Macavity’s number has two women being sexy. Blankenbuehler redid Tugger’s number, toning down the sexuality, but he left Macavity alone completely, so it’s as sexual as it always is. Male sexuality needs to be toned down, but female sexuality is fine. This is what happens when a woman is replaced with a straight dude. I doubt it was done on purpose, but there was definitely some subconscious bias going on there.

The way the casts talk about the two choreographers is also different. Both of them are treated as the experts on the show, more like how a director is normally treated. But, how well they filled that role varied. Lynne could explain what every single move meant. Those who worked with her knew exactly what they were doing. Nobody has ever described any of Blankenbuehler’s choreography with the same detail. In numbers in 2016 that Blankenbuehler left alone, even without Lynne present at all, everything was clearly explained. Skimble actors, since Skimble’s number wasn’t altered much, describe people who’d worked with Lynne talking them through the choreography. No one talked about Blankenbuehler’s work like that. Every move of Lynne’s Jellicle Ball apparently represented something. Blankenbuehler’s Jellicle Ball looks fine, but there isn’t that level of detail.

The rehearsals of the the choreography were paced differently as well. 2016 was apparently put together in something of a hurry. Most Cats rehearsals begin with several days of the cast studying cats and learning how to move like them. 2016 devoted only a few hours to this. Gillian Lynne reportedly visited a rehearsal and was upset the none of the dancers knew how to move like cats. Cats has unique choreography in a unique cat-like style, but the 2016 team had no time to practice it, so they often come across as a bit too human. They’re talented human dancers, but they’re not very cat-like. Blankenbuehler’s choreography is often in a different, more modern urban style, that doesn’t seem like it was done with cat-like movement in mind.

I don’t hate Blankenbuehler. In behind the scenes stuff, he seems like a nice guy that the team liked working with. But, I don’t think he really understood what his role was. He was a choreographer and he did choreography. This would’ve been fine, even great for any other show, but not Cats.

Most modern musical theatre is based on opera. Characters sing about their feelings and that tells the story. The added element of dance takes the feelings of the song and amplifies them. The actors are emoting with their entire bodies in a larger-than-life way that creates an emotional intensity that audiences can empathize with. The music makes the audience feel what the characters are feeling in a way nothing else really can. Music is kind of magical. You hear a certain melody with certain instruments, and suddenly you’re happy, or sad, or angry.

This, by the way, is why going for realism in musicals is a terrible idea. Musicals don’t exist in physical reality. They exist on an emotional level that realism takes away from.

Cats rarely works like opera. The lyrics are mainly just adaptations of whimsical poems, so they don’t tell you much of anything. Memory, which features original lyrics and no dancing is an exception to this rule. In general, because they’re not dance roles, Grizabella and Old Deuteronomy have to use music and song lyrics to play their parts in the story. Jemima also does this whenever she does something connected to either one of them.

But, Cats is normally more of a ballet than an opera. Ballet tells a story purely through dance. Because the lyrics in Cats matter so rarely, it ends up working like a ballet, because the dance, unrelated to the poems, means something. It’s still a heightened reality where music invokes emotions and actors emote with their whole bodies, like in other musicals, but instead of the dance being an amplifier, it’s the storyteller.

ALW really liked a bunch of poems and wanted to put them to music. The result was a bunch of songs with a similar them but no real connection to each other. That works as a concept album, but Webber wanted a musical, an actual show where people danced to his concept album. He didn’t care about the story and didn’t expect anyone else to.

But, other people cared about the story. No one knew how to make a musical that’s not about something. Trevor Nunn added Memory and the storyline with Grizabella as an emotional centerpiece. There wasn’t a clear plot, but, on an emotional level, it now felt like something was actually happening. Gillian Lynne had no idea how to choreograph a musical about nothing, so she didn’t. She came up with her own interpretations of things and made the show about something. Several somethings, in fact. Victoria is going through puberty and discovering her sexuality. Demeter is recovering from an abusive sexual experience, with Bomba having a different attitude towards being in the same situation. The women in the story were given detailed story arcs that often revolved around their sexuality.

How sexuality is portrayed in Cats could be its own essay. 

Anyway, Cats tells its story with a unique style of choreography. Because the choreographer is the story teller, Lynne had a lot of influence over the show. She was the one who knew all the details. Blankenbuehler was brought in to choreograph a show, like a normal job for him, not knowing what that would actually mean. He came in to have dance amplify the emotions in the song lyrics like in any other musical, not knowing that that’s impossible to do with Cats. The role of choreographer meant a level of knowledge and control that would normally belong to the director, composer, and lyricist. He didn’t realize that the show having any story at all depended on him.

So, he did stuff that looked cool, but didn’t tell the story, or that took the story in a direction that it wasn’t supposed to go. Tugger dancing in front of a giant mirror is funny in the moment, but that sort of narcissism, though funny, isn’t likable, and Tugger needs to be likable. He’s a major character and he helps save the day at the end by hyping up Misto. But, 2016 Tugger hypes up Misto because if feels like Misto is the only cat he truly respects. He has the same respect for Old Deuteronomy that the others have, but he doesn’t sound quite as sincere when he sings about him. He spends so much of his number antagonizing Munkustrap in particular that it’s hard to believe that he has any respect for him.

What can be learned from these interviews is that Blankenbuehler didn’t know what his job truly was and was there because someone important thought Cats would be more popular in 2016 if it was more like Hamilton and got the Hamilton guy to give it a make-over. Nunn was so proud of the show’s success that he neglected what made it successful in the first place, and the 2016 cast was rushed through rehearsals without proper instructions. Everyone tried their best, but they were all stuck.

For the most part, I blame whoever decided to have Blankenbuehler rechoreograph the show. Blankenbuehler did what he thought his job was and the cast did their jobs to the best of their ability. What really ruined Cats 2016 was an executive decision to fix something that wasn’t broken, believing if they made the Old Big Show more like the New Big Show, that would make people love it again. But Hamilton is no more like Cats than a cat is like a dog.

Godzilla vs Kong: Brutally Honest Thoughts

(Took me long enough, eh? Depending on home video releases be like that.)

So first things first, I have a confession to make: I spoiled the movie before I watched it. I was impatient and they had only announced an HBO Max premiere in the states and a theatrical run in Canada at the time. Afterward, I got heads-up from a friend and immersed myself in the opinions of those lucky enough to see it early. I’m just saying that I have some preconceived opinions that I’m sticking to.

That said, Godzilla vs Kong turned out to be more fun than I expected! But you already knew that. Everyone did. The two kings of movie monsters had their rematch and this time it was with glorious Hollywood SFX powering it this time.

The human story was fun but it’s clear they stopped trying at this point. Team Kong stole my heart, especially Jia. Team Godzilla (although the Conspiracy Crew would be a more fitting term since they spend more time chasing down mysteries than trying to back or understand Godzilla) was more fun than I expected and their dynamic was surprisingly enjoyable. Bernie is actually kind of funny, it's nice to see Madison acting more assertive, and Josh was fine--he was the only sane man of the bunch but he was also the butt of the jokes. Still, all the hardcore conspiracy jokes got old fast and it feels off seeing the daughter of two scientists turn into an edgy conspiracy crackpot. Why not an edgy science major?

Team Apex are fun villains, especially Walter Simmons who's a great megalomaniacal CEO type, but Ren Serizawa is a joke. I like his actor's performance but he's just another footnote. Nobody bats an eye at his last name, although the only heroes he interacts with are Nathan Lind and he just misses Team Godzilla. He really could have just been any other villain, but instead, they had to sully Serizawa’s legacy further while robbing a good actor of some interesting material. (As is, it turns out he was just an egotistical jerk with daddy issues--an easy puzzle to solve on day one--after all...)

However, I still cannot and will not approve of the fact that somebody thought it would be a good idea to make the heroes of a sci-fi story into hardcore conspiracy theorists in this day and age. Likewise, I’m not a huge fan of how they essentially made the Hollow Earth into its own universe complete with a crazy portal and an environment with its own laws of physics, nor am I totally crazy about the huge leap in technology that was made between this and KOTM, or G’14 for that matter.

The monsters as awesome as they are, are the biggest mixed bag in the show.

Kong is at his best in ages, and while I am all for the new heroic warrior character that Legendary have crafted and I acknowledge that making him a worthy opponent for their god-tier Godzilla was going to be a hurdle, I think they did a splendid job. Seeing Kong using agility and acrobatics was a glorious sight to behold, and something about Kong becoming a tool-user and weapon wielder just feels right. It’s a far better demonstration of Kong as a “thinking animal” (*wink, wink*).

I’m much less thrilled about their treatment of his greatest opponent ever. After everything they’ve done to build up Godzilla as the incredible force of neutral good fighting to maintain balance and all the build up to ancient rivalry debating back to a great Titan war--even going as far as putting his name in front Kong’s this time!-- they’ve reduced Godzilla back to glorified bully for Kong. He only gets the minimum amount of sympathy from the cast of his movie before they go off to deal with the conspiracy plot or focus on Kong and the Hollow Earth. Worse still, he is somehow more powerful and more aggressive than ever for a good chunk of the movie which leads to an outcome I’m sorry to say we all saw coming. Somehow, I suspect that the reason behind this was how Wingard cited Godzilla vs. Mothra, vs. Destoryah, and Shin-Godzilla as influences for the monsters scale and story, which while cool and all, are all movies where he was played up as a mostly stoic antagonist rather than a three-dimensional character like Kong. (Though ironically vs. Destoroyah and Shin did a better job of making Godzilla feel more sympathetic and in both of them he was a walking nuclear reactor meltdown.)

Due to the unfortunate time constraints of the three-way deal between Toho, WB, and Universal at the time this was in production, Kong was unable to secure a proper sequel that could develop his skillset like Godzilla’s did. Nevermind the fact the filmmakers completely surrendered to the “nothing matters but the monsters” mentality that a chunk of the fanbase has been spouting since this universe unofficially kicked off almost 10 years ago. (Sidenote: Oh god, I’m turning in an old fart already.) As a result, the movie trips over itself trying to set up Godzilla and Kong’s rivalry as well as building up Kong as a worthy opponent to Godzilla while expanding on their shared lore, and as a result countless plot points set up in in the previous movie and tie-in movie are thrown out the window. I’m sorry to say but in spite of all hopes and illusions of grandeur, it’s safe to this damn thing is a Kong movie with Godzilla as the bad guy.

...at least until HE shows up. Yup, Mechagodzilla. The biggest spoiled twist of the centuries steals the show so the movie can pull a Dawn of Justice. But! It does it much better than the fractured DCEU’s most controversial entry ever could. Mechagodzilla’s inclusion gets a decent amount of build up thanks to Team Godzilla/the Conspiracy Crew, and when he shows up, does he make an impression! At first, I wasn’t sure how to feel about his inclusion or his design, but I’ve come to like this one. He’s basically a kaiju terminator built in Godzilla’s image made purely out of heavy machinery piloted by the best Ghidorah head. It’s a jarring change of pace compared to previous MechaG’s but it grows on you after a while. With the abundance of weaponry stuffed into him, he feels like a fitting update of the original killing machine, and even if his inclusion feels like an easy way out of the big showdown, it’s fun to see him played as a literal colossal heel for the kings to team up against. Not to mention he looks shockingly good with those red highlights. However, one still can’t help but wonder how and why he was made in this universe, or how he feels like pure heavy machinery one minute and then an extra-large Ultron unit the next.

As for the the big throwdowns we’ve all been waiting for... well, we’re still in the mixed bag deparment. While the fights are all exciting and excellently choreographed, and benefit from some more eclectic lighting and cinematograph, I’m sorry to say that as far as the rematch of the century goes they dropped the ball on this one.

Don’t get me wrong, the fights are all great in their own ways, but there’s a drastic change in the feeling of weight and power with the monsters. Godzilla, Kong, and even Mechagodzilla all feel strangely floaty in most of their fights. One moments they feel like true behemoths shaking the very earth with every movement and then it’s like they’re in Godzilla Unleashed, running, jumping, and throwing each other around with speed that feels that almost makes you wonder if the Hollow Earth’s gravity inversion stuff is leaking out into the world. While it’s all perfectly cool, you can’t help but wonder how Kong is able to leap between aircraft carriers and buildings, when Godzilla got the ability to blow a hole through the Earth itself, or how a colossal machine is able to move so nimbly or why it has to be flashing blue all the time.

It’s fascinating and fun but you just can’t help but wonder how we got from almost posthuman disaster and war movies exploring how we’re at the mercy of the ancient almost mythical forces beyond our comprehension, we’ve found ourselves smack dab in the middle of Bayformers meets Jurassic World levels of Hollywood absurdity where anything and everything can and will happen in the name of getting to the monster fights. Although I can’t say I’m surprised given the director’s take on Death Note made some questionable choices with it’s take on the infamous cast while still coming up with some genuinely inspired choices. Still, all things considered we could have gotten worse compared to ther cinematic universes made by WB and Universal.

As for some misc. thoughts to close up this rambling mess:

-The soundtrack is fantastic. A great continuation of the feel of Skull Island’s mixtape with some truly wonderful picks. Special mention goes to the opening and ending songs, and they GOT AN ELVIS PRESLEY SONG IN HERE! YES!!! The three kings of pop culture together at last!

-While this movie didn’t need to be any more overstuffed, it would have been nice if the rest of the Titans didn’t disappear entirely from this movie. I get that Godzilla: Dominion already explained what happened to them all more or less, but it really is a missed oppurtunity that we never got to see another Titan war. Or Rodan attacking Kong to avenge his pterosaur bretheren from days long past. Speaking of which...

-“Save Mothra” jokes be damned, Mothra would have been a welcome gues star, not just to help break up the big fight, but to show off Godzilla’s softer, more protective side. And yes, I want more Mothzilla. Shut up, we deserve it.

-Boy, Monarch sure does a whole lot of nothing up-top, huh?

-The cinematography is a great update but there’s a little too much neon lighting, especially in the Apex HQ and the Hollow Earth throne room. It feels like they’re trying just a little too hard to sell the more futuristic, Hollywood sci-fi feel.

-The score is... great but not that great. Of course, I’ve always had mixed feelings about Tom Holkenburg (AKA Junkie XL)’s music. I liked Kong’s themes, but they REALLY dropped the ball with Godzilla’s theme. Mechagodzilla’s works really well as long you ignore that it’s just Godzilla’s theme in this movie with an ominious choir added in.

-The new Hollow Earth creatures are all perfectly fine. Actually, I thought they were another highlight! Especially the Warbats, Hellhawks, and Doug the Titanus Foetodon Man.

-I want to do a release the extended cut campaign but I don’t think any of us have the energy for that s**t anymore.

Star Wars: The Book of Boba Fett: “Stranger in a Strange Land” -Review

Live action Star Wars and an icon of the galactic underground make their return in a serviceable episode that is heavy on exposition.

Now sitting on the throne that Jabba the Hutt once occupied, Boba Fett sets about claiming his place as a new power figure in the galactic underworld. However, as he sets about this goal he is haunted by his traumatic escape from the Pit of Carkoon.

How did Boba Fett escape the Sarlacc? If we were working off Legends continuity that’s a question that quite literally has multiple answers. Ever since we first glimpsed the reappearance of the galaxy’s most famous bounty hunter at the start of The Mandalorian’s second season, fan’s have been wondering much of the same question. And for some reason, Jon Favreau and Robert Rodriguez have determined to spend a whole hour of television addressing this.

There is a lot of groundwork covered in “Stranger in a Strange Land” (a title that is shared with the worst episode of LOST). We get not only the beginnings of Boba’s criminal empire and also Boba’s own struggles in the deserts of Tatooine following his eventual capture by a local tribe of Tusken Raiders. Favreau’s script is concerned in the minutiae of it all, often opting for understated visual storytelling versus emotional narrative.

This is all well and good and I even particularly liked the Tusken Raider sections with their interesting character designs and strong direction by Rodriguez, but this still feels remarkably barebones. Star Wars shows have long struggled with pacing and the mistaking of information for narrative, and so far The Book of Boba Fett is not close to breaking that pattern. Sure, we get flashbacks to Kamino and Geonosis, and we see how Boba gained the respect of his captors, but we don’t particularly learn much about Boba in the process. Despite his prevalence in pop culture, we really don’t know much about this man and his wants and desires. Who exactly is Boba Fett? What makes him tick? Is there a reason why he is so determined to rule with a different moral code than Jabba and the previous crimelords? Sure, there are six more episodes to address these concerns but so far it’s hard not to feel that Star Wars is once again riding off the strength of its iconography and setting to tell its narrative and not actually making use of its own story spinning strengths.

It’s also remarkable just how much this series feels like an unofficial continuation of The Mandalorian. The visual style and tone of the series so closely match that other show that even the concept art credits remain. There’s just not a whole lot to sell The Book of Boba Fett right now as its own entity. It’s beholden to previous Star Wars stories at almost every step.

Even if the script for The Book of Boba Fett’s premier proves frustratingly dull, it still ends up being an entertaining episode of television due in no small part to Temuera Morrison’s performance. While Morrison has become synonymous with the Fetts ever since he first appeared as Boba’s father in Attack of the Clones, this is really the most that we’ve gotten of his take on the character. While again, Morrison isn’t given much to work with, he is a remarkably strong physical actor and he is able to sell Boba’s struggle with a haggard authenticity.

As another random side note, I very much loved the creature design in this episode. The multi-legged sand beast that menaces Boba and his young Tusken captor is a creatively realized monster that feels almost like it was ripped out of an old Ray Harryhausen movie. The tribute feels intentional and it’s a great instance of Star Wars paying homage to filmmaking history in its own unique way.

As a whole, The Book of Boba Fett enters existence without much of a bang and only a scrap of its own personality. It’s not a poorly made show. It’s visually fun to watch, Rodriguez certainly knows how to choreograph exciting action, and Ming-Na Wen and Morrison could probably sell soap and I’d find it riveting, but there’s a lot of ground to cover to make this a worthy addition to the ever expanding Star Wars saga.

Score: B-

JATP is like a 5-hour DCOM

As I’ve expressed previously, when I initially saw the gif-sets for this series I basically said “I’ll pass, thanks.” I don’t know what changed (probably the treachery that is the reality tv I’m currently watching), but I decided to go ahead and check it out, if only for some much needed levity.

And at first, I was not feeling this, like at all. The dialogue was cringey, the songs were *meh*, I couldn’t keep up with the show’s own internal logic.

By episode 5 however, the show was cooking with gas. We had stakes, drama (family drama! relationship drama! band drama!), villains, and yes, humor to round out the whole thing. And that’s when it hit me: this show is basically a 5-hour Disney Channel Original Movie. This shouldn’t have been so surprising, seeing as to how it’s the work of the legendary Kenny Ortega [among others].

Granted, I haven’t seen a new DCOM since 2013 apparently, so at the very least the show harkens back to the movies of yesteryear. Even so, I have to imagine movies [that I haven’t seen] like Descendants or Zombies have some of these tropes:

The Surreal, Fantasical Situation - The Thirteenth Year, The Luck of the Irish, The Other Me

The Grand Musical Numbers - High School Musical, Teen Beach Movie

The Popular Girl Who Hates Me - High School Musical, Read it and Weep, Cadet Kelly

The Band’s Interpersonal Drama - The Cheetah Girls, Lemonade Mouth

The Missing Mother - Jump In!, Smart House, Dadnapped!

The Affable Trio - Minutemen, Camp Rock

The Wacky Sidekick - Stuck In the Suburbs, Read it and Weep, KP: STD

The Forgettable Rock Songs - Camp Rock, Lemonade Mouth

The Villain Who We Don’t Know is Evil, But Has a Sympathetic Sidekick - Up, Up, and Away!, The Proud Family Movie, High School Musical (2), The Cheetah Girls (2)

The Insecure Protagonist Who’s Just Gotta Find The Strength Inside Of Them - Like every single DCOM ever

And let’s not forget Pixel Perfect, the 2004 movie that’s about a guy who has to create a holographically projected character to help his band succeed. Sound familiar? 

--sn: I haven’t seen that movie in ~15 years, when I was kindergarten-aged. Still, I went to rewatch it last night and it’s amazing how you can hear a song from that long ago and go “Yea, I remember this!” Music is a wonderful thing.--

Ortega knows DCOM’s like the back of his hand. When The Cheetah Girls 2 (which Ortega choreographed and directed) premiered, it was the highest rated DCOM in history; High School Musical 2 topped that record a year later, and by the way, that record still hasn’t--nor will it ever be, I’d venture to say--topped.

He knows what makes us, the young, impressionable audience, tick and get invested with the worlds that he builds. He even understands that now, in 2020 and on Netflix, all of that gay subtext that we’ve been talking about in HSM for years can actually be a real thing. So yea, it’s no wonder that people took to this quickly.

We love tacky villains, we love good vs. evil, we love sappy love stories/love triangles, and we of course love an emotional attachment to our characters in a relatable way. 

None of that is really revolutionary tv. You can get all that stuff from any of the aformentioned movies. Where the show does push the boundary is translating that to a streaming platform. It has diversity which is always a plus. It also allows Ortega to thankfully be just as gay as he wants to be. Not just with the style, because some of these dance scenes were exceptionally campy, but with the characters.

Is there a ship name for Alex and Willie? I haven’t checked the tag, I have no idea. What I do know is that the entirety of Alex’s character and storyline is for the most part lighthearted and carefree. These are the stories and character dynamics that I wish any DCOM of my childhood would have broached, the stories Ortega has gone on the record for having wanted to do previously.

The show is not trying to make a statement with that relationship -- it just is. It’s two guys who find each other and discover they have chemistry, as was done with Julie/Luke and the countless other het-ships that we’ve seen on Disney before. The drama that eventually comes between them isn’t derived from their sexuality, but the plot itself. It makes you think, “With the way HSM/DCOM’s were ingrained into our minds, how beneficial to a generation would it have been to have a couple like that in those movies?”

Well we’ll never know the answer to that question, because it never happened (thanks homophobia!). All we had was subtext, because Cadet Kelly totally had a thing for Stone. That is, until now. It took a couple of decades and a totally separate platform from Disney, but the kids of today finally [sorta] have a DCOM that dares to have openly gay characters. Ortega even in 2020 is revolutionizing the genre. And that gives me a smidgen of hope.

Random thoughts on the episodes:

Flynn is not a character. Now for all I’ve been nostalgic about above, we can do part with the 2-D sidekick. One day we’ll talk about how HSM 3 is a terrible movie and how Taylor got *0* character content for 3 movies while being billed as a main character, likely for diversity purposes. Today is not that day I suppose.

It was so weird that they were going there with Julie/Luke, because the actors are clearly a few years apart. Usually to play 16 year olds, a given tv show will hire 16 year olds or they’ll hire 20 year olds. This show did...both, so it’s weird to watch the grown man playing Reggie going after these girls.

The exact moment I was like, “Alright this show is okay”, is when Nick got on the stage and introduced Julie just seconds after comforting her. Mans was WYLIN.

Nick supposedly did everything right. Sucks to suck. And now he’s possessed by Kilgrave. Tuff.

Julie’s whole family dynamic was cute.

Most of the songs were catchy, but by nature of this show they all kind of had the same structure. They were nice, but I won’t be downloading a soundtrack. 

So I liked it. Again, as I can’t fully keep up with the show’s logic: are the guys real humans now? That seems like one of the only plausible ways to keep the show going. But if so, should Caleb still be obsessed with them?

The million dollar question for this show as well: Where do we go from here?

The Live Action Mulan Is Unintentionally Hilarious

There are some things I liked about the live action remake of Mulan. The cinematography is excellent, and the locations are beautiful. The action is well choreographed and shot, for the most part. Like all Disney remakes, the sets and costumes are excellent. The score is pretty good. The movie looks nice. Now, it’s time for the things that came across as hilarious.

The acting is consistently mediocre. The best actors are the guy who played the one love interest, and Bhori Khan. Everyone else is really mediocre or bad, or we don’t see enough of them to judge. (I am leaving Rosalind Chao out of this because my Trekkie heart wants to defend her, but she has to try and cover up her very American accent and it’s pretty funny.) Mulan really never shows any emotion, nor does anyone else. (Although the actress who played Mulan was really good at martial arts and did a lot of the stunts, so she gets some acting forgiveness.) Our main characters are faced with death, and they never react at all. By far the worst actor is the emperor, who is supposed to be wise and stern but comes across kind of like a robot. When he’s in the throne room, his line delivery is hilarious. He kind of sounds like a not angry version of Anthony Hopkins in Thor: The Dark World. 

The CGI in this movie is atrocious. It is funny how bad it is. The phoenix looks awful. At the end of the movie, there’s this CGI molten metal that looks really bad. There’s a scene where Mulan’s battalion discovers a group of dead soldiers, and they tried to turn the sky gray in post. It looks so bad, especially since the dead soldiers don’t look good either. It’s supposed to be a sad scene, and it’s funny instead. The witch transforms into birds a lot, but the CGI is so bad that they have to cut away or only show reflections of her full transformations. This happens almost every time she transforms and it’s hilarious once you notice it. 

Even the characters’ actions are kind of funny. Mulan never thinks to tell the Matchmaker that there is a spider under the teapot, even though it is a good excuse for why she moved it in the first place. There is no reason for her to keep it secret. The general decides to take his entire army out of a fortified garrison to fight mounted troops on a battlefield. His army has, like 6 cavalrymen, and he still goes out and fights. Facing down an army on horseback when you’re on the ground will not end well. This decision is so stupid and destined to fail it’s funny. The Chinese Army doesn’t even have gunpowder or ranged weapons aside from archers, which the bad guys have, too. (Even though China had gunpowder at the time of the Silk Roads.) Anyway, the whopping 6 cavalrymen all die, and Mulan decides to go after the twelve horsemen who killed them. She follows them, at a slow pace, into a geothermal area where the horsemen have disappeared and she fights the witch. She is on what I’m guessing is a buildup of sulfur or other minerals, and we see it beginning to crack. There is a shot devoted to showing that the ground is breaking. Rather than using this to her advantage while fighting the witch, Mulan gets thrown against a wall. All she had to do was to plunge her sword into the ground. She might die, but she’d at least take the witch with her. After fighting Mulan, the witch turns into a bunch of small birds and goes to “attack” the Chinese Army. She turns the movie into Birdemic temporarily, and the army hides out under their shields. They are literally being dive-bombed by sparrows. Worst case scenario they have a few scratches. Then Mulan, rather than going after the twelve horsemen she was after in the first place, decides to go help her friends who she doesn’t know are in real danger. She gets the enemy soldiers to shoot their catapult at her, but the operator is off by 2,000 feet at least. He shoots nowhere near where he thinks the enemy is. He is so off of his target that it’s funny. Mulan returns to her friends and has to leave, but would rather be executed than sent home. She doesn’t consider that her family might want her back alive, and instead wants to die. (She later gets praised for her devotion to her family. And while this is trying to make a point about honor, we never see exactly what dishonor does to a family. The characters say dishonor is bad, but we don’t know why.) Anyway, Mulan then meets the witch again, who says that Bhori Khan is going to take the Imperial City and kill the emperor. That is all that the witch says. This is basically what Bhori Khan’s plan would have been in the first place. He’s trying to conquer China. He’ll probably go for the capital city and the ruler. But Mulan takes this to mean that Bhori Khan and his army are at the gates of the Imperial City, and no army is close enough to stop them. I have no idea how she arrived at this conclusion. Upon being told that the people conquering China were going to take over the center of power, without being given a specific time frame as to when this will happen, Mulan somehow believes that Bhori Khan is right outside the Imperial City and that no one is close enough to stop them. HOW DID SHE COME UP WITH THIS? She manages to get her 6 friends to go help defend the city.(Note-six people will be no help against an invading army.) There’s already a small army inside the city, and then six people show up to help. It’s so pathetic when they show it in the movie. The emperor gets kidnapped and taken to this building that is currently being constructed. Bhori Khan decides to burn him alive by tying him to the top of the building, then he melts metal? He has a vat of melted metal and then three pipes of fire. First of all, it’s impossible to get metal heated to the point where it is liquid without proper equipment. Bhori Khan didn’t have any equipment. Also, what was his plan? Was he going to let the melting metal catch the building on fire? He could have just set the building on fire but instead he wanted molten metal to slowly catch it on fire. Seriously. The molten metal is so random that it’s funny. IT LITERALLY HAS NO PURPOSE TO BE THERE EXCEPT TO DESTROY MULAN’S SWORD AND IT’S SO LAZY. I thought that Bhori Khan was going to pour molten metal down the emperor’s throat, because that happened in history before. But no. The metal is just randomly there. Then Mulan and Bhori Khan fight. The end fight is literally the fight in the blacksmith shop in Pirates of the Caribbean but in a building. Melting metal? Check. Balancing on the rafters? Check. Sword fight? Check. Characters launching themselves up and grabbing onto said rafters? Check. In the end, to kill Bhori Khan, the emperor grabs an arrow and uses Mulan for an assist combo kill. He literally tosses her an arrow so she can kick it. It was really stupid. The end where Mulan returns home is okay. That’s it. 

The humor was not great. The one lighthearted, “funny” scene was that of Mulan getting ready for the Matchmaker, and it felt really out of place. There were some fun moments, but not much. One of the “jokes” was when one of the characters, a young, innocent boy started crying at the beginning of training. To me, this was a really relatable moment. This kid had been forced to leave home and had to train very hard under the impending threat of death. Anyone might have cried in that moment. Then the general went “Is he crying?” like that was ridiculous. It was supposed to be a joke, but that moment was literally the most connected I ever felt to any character and they made it out like his crying was stupid. I felt attacked. This movie had very little personality. The characters had very little personality. They weren’t relatable in the slightest, and when they were, they were shunned for it. Any of the strong characters, like Mulan, were special and basically had magic. It was a decent action movie, but it tried too hard to remind fans of the original. If they had tried to make it their own war movie about a girl who had to hide her skills and overcome the sexism of Ancient China while fighting in a war against a witch, it could have been okay. However, they tried to include scenes from the original that didn’t work with the tone or concept. For instance, Mulan creates an avalanche by tricking enemy soldiers into shooting a catapult at her. This shows that she might be smart, but she doesn’t think about using the terrain to her advantage when fighting the witch. She could have broken the ground, or at the very least hidden in the steam around her and used surprise. The avalanche scene is the only scene where Mulan uses her smarts, and it’s only in the movie because it was in the original. Basically Disney tried to fuse their vision with enough scenes from the original to keep fans happy. It did not work. The only sad scenes were the ones that were supposed to be funny, and the sad and dark scenes were actually pretty hilarious. The end result? Disney lost $130 million.

Heathers | Sweet Pea

A/N: part four! 

Act one - Act two - Act three 

Words: 2984

Pairing: Sweet Pea x reader

Warnings: angst, cursing, mention of sex 

Act four: Dead Girl Walking

A small gasp is heard from behind me as I stand in Sweet Pea’s kitchen, getting breakfast ready for Jordan. When I turn around, he’s exactly who’s standing behind me. I smile at him as he walks up to me and wraps his arms around me. “Good morning, Jordan,” I say and push him off me gently to lead him towards the kitchen. “Eat whatever you like and then Sweet Pea will get you to school.” The boy nods and digs into the breakfast spread I’d made. For a while, the three of us eat in silence. I ask Jordan some questions about school every now and again, but other than that, I just let him eat. After breakfast, I go to school while Sweet Pea goes to drop Jordan off at Southside Elementary. I only see him again at the Heathers rehearsals since we don’t have any classes together. “Y/N!” Kevin exclaims, making me jump a little, “Ready for Dead Girl Walking?” he asks, and I almost choke on my water. We had only done the song during the first week when exploring the music, but we hadn’t done any choreography or tried to stage it. But apparently, Kevin wants us to do that now. “Uhm, yeah, I think so…” I trail off and glance up at Sweet Pea. He has the same exact expression on his face. This scene is basically Veronica and JD having sex on stage. But like kind of PG-13. “Cool, let’s go!” Kevin claps his hands before he and Evelyn go to sit down in their directors’ chairs. “The demon queen of high school has decreed it She says Monday, 8am I will be deleted They'll hunt me down in study hall Stuff and mount me on the wall Thirty hours to live, how shall I spend them?” At first, I stand a little stiff at the front of the stage, but then I begin to move to the other side of the stage, getting more into the song as I go. “I don't have to stay and die like cattle I could change my name and ride up to Seattle But I don't own a motorbike Wait,” I point to Sweet Pea, who’s lying on the floor, pretending to be asleep, just as the script says he has to, “here's an option that I like” “Spend these thirty hours getting freaky! Yeah! I need it hard I'm a dead girl walking! I'm in your yard I'm a dead girl walking! Before they punch my clock I'm snapping off your window lock Got no time to knock!” I walk up to Sweet Pea as if I’d just gone through his window and into his bedroom. “I'm a dead girl walking...” "Veronica! What're you doing in my room?" Sweet Pea gets up, pretending to be confused. He seems to be a little more relaxed all of a sudden. But then his eyes widen as place my finger on his mouth. "Shh... Sorry but I really had to wake you See, I decided I must ride you 'til I break you 'Cause Heather says I gots to go You're my last meal on death row Shut your mouth and lose them tighty whiteys! Come on! He walks closer towards me and grabs me by my waist the same way he did last night.   “Tonight I'm yours I'm your dead girl walking! Get on all fours! Kiss this dead girl walking!” I push his shoulders, so he kneels down on all fours and discard myself of my blue blazer. “Let's go, you know the drill I'm hot and pissed and on the pill Bow down to the will— Of a dead girl walking!” Kneeling down to be on the same eye-level as him, while pointing at his chest, I move on to the next verse which is suddenly less aggressive and more vulnerable, which I love most about the song. “And you know, you know, you know It's 'cause you're beautiful You say you're numb inside But I can't agree So the world's unfair Keep it locked out there In here it's beautiful Let's make this beautiful!” "That works for me." Sweet Pea says with a shrug and suddenly kisses me hard. I know we’re just acting, but I still feel that fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach the same way I did when I kissed Reggie back in the day. He pulls me closer until I’m straddling him completely. “YEAH! Full steam ahead Take this dead girl walking!” I sit on his lap comfortable as if I’d never done anything else in my life. "How'd you find my address?" “Let's break the bed! Rock this dead girl walking!” "I think you tore my mattress!" The music slows again and I let my voice go with it, sounding more sultry and teasing. “No sleep tonight for you Better chug that Mountain Dew!” "Okay, okay" Then the music grows again and so does my voice. “Get your ass in gear Make this whole town disappear” "Okay, okay!" “Slap me, pull my hair” I slap him, grab his hand and place it in my hair, then grab his other and place it on my boob. He then takes the lead and places his other hand on my other boob, ripping open my shirt to reveal my Veronica-blue bra. “Touch me There and there and there And no more talking! Whoa! Love this dead girl walking!” “Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, yeah, yeah” “Love this dead girl” “Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, wait, wait” “Walking!” “Love this dead girl! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” "Ow!" “Yeah!” We both end the high note perfectly and the music stops. Sweet Pea’s panting beneath me, and I need to catch my breath too. For a moment, I think we’re the only ones here since there’s no interrupting applause. I tear my eyes away from Sweet Pea to look at the directors and the other actors, whom are all staring at us with wide eyes and open mouths. None of them had expected this. “That was…” Kevin starts, then looks at Evelyn, “Steamy… Uhm… Sweet Pea, maybe next time, leave her shirt closed?” I look down to see my bra exposed and quickly tug the white shirt closed. “I liked it,” Reggie comments with a gross smirk on his face that I would like to punch off. “Why, Reg? Because you couldn’t even get me this far?” I spit out as I get up from Sweet Pea and begin buttoning up my shirt. “We’ll keep it clean next time, Kev,” I say and walk off the stage. Truth is, I felt way too comfortable up there with Sweet Pea doing that scene. I know now that I’m in love with the guy and I can’t let that happen. All this is, is acting. We’re playing a part. Just a messed-up couple in love. Just because we’ve got given that role, doesn’t mean we need to play the part in real life too. I don’t have to fall in love with Sweet Pea. And I shouldn’t fall in love with Sweet Pea. “Hey, you okay? I’m sorry I did that. I probably shouldn’t have…” the tall Serpent’s voice sounds from behind me. I sigh deeply before turning around. “Nope, you probably shouldn’t have. That wasn’t scripted and this show is supposed to be PG-13 or at least in this school it is, apparently.” I groan, mostly at myself for letting myself come this far. I push past him to get back to the stage where we’re about to rehearse Shine a Light with Alice Cooper – who’s playing miss Fleming – for the first time ever. “Are we still on for rehearsing tonight?” he asks, yelling after me. I turn around but keep walking backwards. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Pea. I’m sorry.” I turn around before I can see his reaction to my cancelation of plans and join the others again. I honestly want to go to his place to rehearse tonight, but I just think I’ll kiss him instead of rehearsing. And by kiss him, I mean kiss him as me, Y/N Y/L/N, not as Veronica Sawyer.

“Last bit for today, then you’re off for today,” Evelyn announces after an hour of rehearsing other songs. We’ve done pretty much everything but Dead Girl Walking again and Meant to Be Yours. “Let’s do the reprise of Dead Girl Walking, I am Damaged and Seventeen reprise back to back without a break.” For which I need to be on stage all the time. And Sweet Pea and I have a fight sequence in there too, choreographed by Toni Topaz and ourselves. I breathe in a couple of times, shaking off any anxiety I’m feeling to be doing a scene with Sweet Pea again. I haven’t been able to shake the feeling he gave me when we were practically making out on stage a good hour ago. Then, the music starts. “I wanted someone strong who could protect me I let his anger fester and infect me His solution is a lie No one here deserves to die Except for me and the monster I created Yeah! Yeah! Heads up, J.D., I'm a dead girl walking! Can't hide from me, I'm a dead girl walking! And there's your final bell” I point upwards as if motioning to a real school bell whilst the sound of said bell is heard. “It's one more dance and then farewell Cheek to cheek in hell with a dead girl walkin'!” “Come on, Westerberg! Here we go, here we go now!” Veronica squeals excitedly, dressed in her Westerberg cheerleading outfit. I bump into Alice Cooper and she mocks surprise and shock whilst saying, “Veronica! Jason Dean told me you'd just committed suicide!” “Yeah, well, he's wrong about a lot of things,” I say with an annoyed tone in my voice. “Oh, well, I threw together a lovely tribute, especially considering the short notice...” Ms. Fleming states braggingly. Completely ignoring her, I ask her, “Ms. Fleming, what's under the gym?” “The boiler room.” I point to her as if a brilliant idea had just entered my mind, “That's it!” I exclaim and turn around from Alice Cooper. “Veronica, what's going on?” “Got no time to talk, I'm a dead girl walking!” I then begin singing the song again while the Westerberg students at the Pep Rally cheer onto the Rottweilers football team. “Hey yo, Westerberg! Hey yo, Westerberg! Tell me what's that sound? Here comes Westerberg Comin' to put you in the ground! Go go, Westerberg! Give a great big yell! Westerberg will knock you out And send you straight to hell!” I walk up to Sweet Pea who’s fumbling around with the fake bomb. “A Norwegian in the boiler room, just like your dad,” I say softly, and watch him as he chuckles before turning his head to me. “And here I thought you’d lost your taste for faking suicides.” “Step away from the bomb,” I then say sternly, making him look up at me with a smirk tugging at his lips. He now completely turns around, taking a prop gun out of his trench coat. He doesn’t point it at me, he just holds it by his side. “This little thing?” He points at the bomb attached to the fake lockers, “I'd hardly call this a bomb. This is just to trigger the packs of thermals upstairs in the gym. Those are bombs. People are gonna see the ashes of Westerberg High School and they're gonna think 'there's a school that self-destructed not because society doesn't care but because that school was society'. The only place that Heathers and Marthas can get along is in Heaven!” There’s something hot about Sweet Pea pretending to have completely lost his mind. “I wish your mom had been a little stronger” Sweet Pea then ad libs, “Don’t talk about my mom!” “I wish she stayed around a little longer” “Stop!” “I wish your dad were good! I wish grown-ups understood! I wish we’d met before They convinced you life is war! I wish you'd come with me—" “I wish I had more TNT!” Sweet Pea yells manically. I groan annoyed and begin reaching for the gun he'd taken out, but he keeps pushing me away and we’re running around one another like some crazy baboons. In the meanwhile, the other students at Westerberg sing the rest of the song.   “Hey yo, Westerberg! Hey yo, Westerberg! Tell me what's that sound? Here comes Westerberg Comin' to put you in the ground! Go go, Westerberg! Give a great big yell! Westerberg will knock you out And send you straight to…” I’d managed to grab the gun from him and shot him in the arm. I gasp at my own antics as a tear rolls down my cheek. I’m not entirely sure if it’s a real tear or if I’m fake-crying – I’ve gotten pretty good at that – but considering the condition my mind is in, it might be an actual tear. Sweet Pea holds onto his arm with one hand whilst grabbing the fake bomb with his other, and leaps into the next song. “I am damaged Far too damaged But you're not beyond repair Stick around here Make things better 'Cause you beat me fair and square Please stand back now” I step back, still choking back tears and wiping at the ones that do escape. “Little further I take another step. Sweet Pea’s eyes meet mine, and for a second, I think he’s asking me if I’m alright. As if he can tell I’m really crying instead of acting. “Don't know what this thing will do I hope you miss me Wish you'd kiss me Then you'd know I worship you I'll trade my life for yours” “Oh my god...” I sing, Veronica finally catching on what’s about to happen. “And once I disappear” “Wait, hold on!” My singing overlaps his, making this vocal crossing. I love a good vocal crossing. “Clean up the mess down here!” “Not this way!” “Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God” Veronica Sawyer finally accepts their fate, and bring out a soft, “Say hi to God” before the sound effect of a bomb going off sounds through the auditorium, making me jump a little bit. This is where the lights would go out and the students of Westerberg high are back on stage as I’m off, and come back a few seconds later, coughing and limping. “Where have you been? Ms. Fleming told us you killed yourself!” Veronica exclaims when she sees me. She genuinely sounds worried. “You look like hell!” Betty muses, looking at me in disgust. “Yeah? I just got back,” I retort, and then reach for the red scrunchie Betty now has in her hair. “Veronica, what are you doing?” she asks as I face the crowd and hold up the red scrunchie that’s considered a crown at Westerberg High. “Listen up folks War is over Brand new sheriff's come to town” I tie my hair up in a low pony with the scrunchie, signaling that Veronica Sawyer is now the brand new sheriff. “We're all damaged, we're all frightened, we're all freaks but that's alright We'll endure it, we'll survive it,” I then look at Jodie, who had driven up the stage with her cool scooter after her accident as Martha. “Martha are you free tonight?” “What?” she asks, hope displayed in her eyes. “My date for the pep rally kinda blew—me off… So, I thought if you weren’t doing anything tonight, we could pop some Jiffy Pop, rent some new releases, something with a happy ending…” “Are there any happy endings?” Jodie asks with a sad tone in her voice. I grab her hand in mine and start singing the next lines to her. “I can't promise no more Heathers, high school may not ever end, still I miss you, I'd be honored, if you'd let me be your friend.” Jodie smiles up at me, “My friend.” “We can be seventeen, we can learn how to chill, If no one loves me now, some day somebody will We can be seventeen, still time to make things right,” I reach my hand out to Heather McNamara, AKA Veronica Lodge. “One day we'll change the world, but let's kick back tonight” She hesitates, looking up at Betty first before determinedly taking my hand, even though Betty does want to stop her. We then leap back into a vocal crossing, the boys singing something different from the girls. “Let's go be seventeen, take off our clothes and dance,” / “You know, you know, you know, we can be beautiful” We all grab each other’s hands, making a line of kids that crosses the entire stage. Only Sweet Pea isn’t a part of this. He’s sitting in the crowd, looking at me and only me. We lock eyes as I continue to sing with the others. “Act like we're all still kids, cause this may be our final chance Always be seventeen, celebrate you and i, maybe we won't grow old” “And maybe then we'll never die,” the boys and girls harmonize again. “We'll make it beautiful; We'll make it beautiful.” We then start pumping our fist in the air with every ‘Beautiful’ that comes out of our mouths. “Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful” All of us end on the high note, all smiling, all happy we’re a part of this. I’m so glad I got to do this. The only thing I’m not glad about is what I’m feeling towards Sweet Pea. I need to find a way to forget about him. Forget any sparks I may have felt during our on-stage kiss or at Pop’s or at his trailer. I need to forget about him.

before i watch some shit i gotta know how the story ends. if not, ima critically analyze the whole movie until i figures it... it usually takes me 30 minutes to figure out the whole plot but that’s besides the point. knowing the ending of a movie allows me to pay attention to alll the little things leading up to the end. the directors choice in lighting, the way that certain actor did a certain movement to portray a certain feeling, setting, like camera work, basically everything i just the last 4 years of my life studying get applied to my enjoyment of a film. 

I wish life was like that... you get to like google how it all ends for you. like what will happen in your life all the way to the end. you can always have what you envisioned for yourself, your plan, your schedule of things but then life has a funny way of letting you know that shit happens. and you learn whatever it is you need to from that incident, apply the lesson, and keep going. it’s actually pretty simple. like looking both ways before you cross the street and still almost getting hit by a car because a person felt the need to speed thru an intersection because maybe he had a family emergency or he had too much to drink. regardless life will thro curveballs, ain’t that fucked up? like bitch. lemme read my book of life so i can move accordingly. but i guess that’s not fun anyways because God would just tell us what to do and there would be no free will. and we all know how people hate being told what to do with there life from a higher up lmao

....but idk none of this shit really applies to me. I guess I’ll just share my testimony here since I'm only people who really give a fuck about me would give a fuck about this post. ( Which i recently found out is ME, i’m the only person who opinions/decisons matter when it comes to me life)

SO HERE IT GOES

Since a child, I always knew i was going to be a very wealthy person. I’m smarter than my peers, i’m stronger than my peers, and way more wiser than most of people i meet. It’s very rare I met a person who’s intellect is as diverse as mine in terms of emotional knowledge and regular book smart shit. Like i’m sort of a hood intellectual, but like different because my Dad is a foreigner who comes from i guess what you would call a decent background, My grandfather was an engineer in Germany lmao. Like wtf. That’s very hard to do. Them mfs got some history of disrcrimnation if you know what I mean. And another ancestor of mine on my father side was adopted by the priest of a missionary because he was so smart, hence why my last name has french origins. and you know what i found out this year during my research dives on the different religions in the world..

There is a Saint in the catholic religion named St. Malo and his birthday is the same birthday as mine. He’s french as well. LMAO SO like i said I AM BUILT DIFFERENT. But that’s not what i really wanted to go talk about so let’s talk about how I’ve always knew I am dying a extremely rich woman. First of my name type shit.

So yeah. 

I LOVE PERFORMING AND PUTTING ON A SHOW OKAY! SINCE BIRTH!

I’m not even dramatic. I remember dancing in front of my family all the time.   Ask my auntie teena and she’d tell ya I would dance in front of anybody at any place in a drop of a dime. There’s literal footage of me dancing at every function at BayBay (Vivian) house. Lmao I still dance with all my family members at the bbqs I attend. Dancing really is my shit.

 Singing is too.

 I remember going to church with my daddy, some spot in LA/ the Jamaican jawn with uncle Jerry, and singing “Because of who you are” in front of everybody. No fucks given, And i kid you not I felt the holy ghost. That’s the best feeling in the world. Happened to me a couple times but I’ll tell ya bout it later some day when it matters. i remember one time coming home and singing and HITTING THAT HIGH PITCH ASS MARIAH CAREY NOTE! ( we got the same birthday too)

and i always loved music. the only time i didn’t cry was in my daddy cars listening to the reggae and bass booming thru the fucking trunk. 

During school I remember performing all the time. School plays, I got the lead role. School assembly, I’m putting on a show. Shit even for my 5th graduation I choreographed the whole MJ we are the world dance routine. Lol for hispanic heritage month I always was the girl who had the authentic skirt for the folklore dance. it was black and red. Very pretty. Mrs. Sanchez was enamored with me girl. She was like your the star you gone be centerstage in the middle only black girl while everyone else wonder why your on stage lmao. We were so good we entered a competition and got a trophy. 

Basketball was fun. I do not like team sports so that ain’t work out. Plus i think i suck. Well I couldn’t have been that bad because in middle school I made the All City team. I didn’t play because my hair wasn’t done I kept the jersey though LMAO. They was hot. HS was whatever. Lowkey only did it because of the niggas and cheer was boring/got too intense for me. I had commitment issues back then like crazy lmao.

Track was fun too. Made championships when I ran. Heart really wasn’t into to it if I’m keeping it G-Real. Didn’t fuck with the track meets plus the girls on the team hated me. I was always with the guys but the weren’t like the guys i hung out with all the time. them niggas was squares, homeschooled and all that. i hung out with delinquents lmao. Shit they always more fun. I know why Jesus hung out with the sinners mmkay. They loyal and know how to have a good time.

In middle school, I won a poetry contest about this poem I had about being a tree and not falling despite what happens. I also got like  award for being the top 3% of scoring in the whole district a couple times. Moms got me a iPod touch lmao.

High school ASB President, got accepted into more than 20+ colleges, in AVID. Cheer team. Basketball team. My drama Teacher, Mrs. Borek called me the baby Viola Davis. I directed and produced my own play lol. Boy, when I graduated I was on stage with admin and faculty. 

But anyways overall, 

I’ve always been the cream of the crop in any arena I apply myself. And I’ve never ever experienced a situation where I’ve been down bad that I didn’t plot and maneuver my way out of it (besides the shit that happened this year 2020 but i’ll give my 2020 review later ). I’m continuously blessed. Even when  I shouldn’t be. 

In elementary, I could’ve caught a case because I punched this boy in the head and he hit the tetherball pole then the floor. Buddy was knotted up lmao

In elementary school during after school day care I banged this girl head on the table and a pole lmao. 

In the carmelitos i gave this girl the business at auntie meanies house. Abri said beat her ass so I did. Trust me daddy, I’m always on go lmao. Her family was from some type of hood. They ain’t retaliate. 

Middle school I was beating boys up after school never got in trouble. LMAO None of the girls wanted to fight with they scary ass. 

High school I did the dumbest shit freshman year but didn’t get suspended. \bro i’m tired. i’ll tell the rest later.  but closing statement life’s a gamble for people who don’ t know the code. once you figure out your role play to the best of your ability and pray to God to constantly look out for you. *  4:48