school shootings were always my biggest fear as a student and now I still fear them as a teacher

small rant about tenet

((therell be spoilers for the movie in this so if you want to watch that unspoiled, dont read this)) so i watched ‘Tenet’ and it was fun, i like time travel stuff in fiction and i really like how they used said time travel. it was fun to “think along” and piece things together as the movie went on. My favourite parts were honestly when the two main guys, the protag ((who apparently doesnt even have a name??? like wikipedia just describes him as “the cia agent”??? what is it with male movie protags having no name/their name being said like... never in the movie? idk ive had this happen a few times where during the movie i was like “wait, who even IS this guy?)) and Neil were doing cool shit, like breaking into the freeport. This is mostly due to John David Washington and Robert Pattinson doing their job well and they do have my gratitude for that. Apart from that i have two things that bothered me, especially after thinking about them a bit more:

1. the woman, kate (???), is like,,, tragic and bland, - her main motivation is her son, who shows up like ... twice so as the viewer theres really no emotional connection, i honestly wouldnt have been surprised if he got killed off at some point (this isnt really a complaint, its totally valid that she cares about her kid but it just adds up with the other things that they were like “okay how do we show shes a WOman with a tragic story?”) - she gets hurt/abused a lot, i get that they want to portray her husband as shitty but im really tired of ‘excessive violence against women as a defining part of said women’ in media. - so youre telling me the protag can recognize types of ammunition and successfully track a specific weapons dealer but the woman thats an art appraiser doesnt get to use her skills at all??? - her faults are that she acts emotional in stressful situations and endangers herself/the plan and then relies on the protags to save her... at the end of the day it just feels like she was written so theyd even have a female character that isnt a side character with 1-3 minor appearances. Also the typical “woman written by someone who doesnt regularly or respectfully interacts with women” and if i remember correctly this movie does not pass the bechdel test lol 2. so why did your villain have to be from the eastern bloc? - its a story about fucked up time travel stuff from the future, whyd you have to locate the fictional secret city in russia and have your villain be a stereotypical violent criminal russian man? like,,, theres plenty of countries - another thing is the part at the end where he mentions the people from the future having a good reason for wanting to anihilate the present because of climate change but its honestly just a lazy shot at “oh look, this evil character actually has a point” because at NO POINT before is it part of the guys character. youve set this guy up to be someone who takes orders from the future because it benefits him and hes okay with ending the world when he dies because hes just that selfish, just stick with that because its honestly way more realistic and believable than “i regret putting a son in this world” at the last minute when this whole time youve shown no emotional connection to said son and only used him to keep your wife obedient - i truly dont get westerners obsessions with making movies where theres a west-east conflict with the amis being the good guys. similar to westerners making n*zi movies with a western saviour perspective, its just... nothing new. (or even that accurate lol) there are so many ways you could tell interesting and new stories about ww2, the cold war or even contemporary tensions  but noooo its always the same “american soldier/government agent fights rich crime man from the east, who wants to rule/destroy the world” and most of the time they dont even make the villain that cool? like damn at least give me some unhinged sexy bitch with amazing visuals

Where do you put your keys when you get home? personal

Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? one from far away on the sand when I was on camp and second time it was just dead and not even whole anymore, I wanna touch a snake!

What’s your favourite movie from the 80s? can’t choose only one

Are you expecting any phone calls or emails? not really

Do you have any family that live in another country? no one close

Are there any words that you hate or make you cringe? sure

What is the best house you’ve ever lived in? I’ve lived in one house only unless I can count some I stayed for awhile like grandma’s apartment or aunt’s cottage 

What movie reminds you of your childhood? many movies like Jumanji or Goonies

What was the last email you received? spam

Are you in any fb groups? I am

Whose house did you last visit? my gf’s

How many tabs do you have open right now? 5

What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off? I procrastinate lots of stuff

What’s the first thing you check on your phone at the start of the day? fb messanger/time

Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? I still live with my parents  Do you think there is life on other planets? not those close to us

Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? maybe Do you dream of traveling the world or are you happy where you are? I’m not happy but I don’t want to travel  Would you watch a porno with your partner? hmm... Have you ever stolen from your work? no Do you own any sex toys? I don’t How often do you use facebook at work? depends Would you date someone half your age? that would be illegal and I wouldn’t want to anyway Are you a romantic person? a little? Would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends? I probably wouldn’t be  Do you have a current passport? never had a passport Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? just my date Have you had a relationship with someone of the same sex? as a lesbian Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other? no but it’s nice Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? possibly Is intoxication ever an acceptable excuse for acting stupid? if you can’t act normal then don’t drink, UGH! Do you litter? never Do you believe in fate or destiny? not sure Doing nothing all day makes you feel…? both good and bad Have you ever had sex with someone you worked with? I have not Would you date someone just for the sex? noooo Do you consider yourself a positive person? pfft Are Sex and Intimacy the same thing? sex is to intimacy like square to rectangles How often do you get angry? I’m like Bruce Banner Have you had cosmetic surgery? I haven’t On a first date do you pay or do they? split Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? I don’t care what they do in life (school, job or nothing) if we don’t live together, I’m unemployed myself Could you date someone who does drugs? doubt it Do you enjoy watching sports? nah Would you do a striptease for your partner? umm... Would you date someone who doesn’t have a car? sure, I don’t even own one  You have a week off, travel or stay home? home <3 Does spending the weekend at home annoy you? noooo Do you consider yourself open minded? nah Do others find you sexy? r u kidding?... Have you ever met someone in person you met online? I have Do you tell your friends you love them? nope, just family and partner

Do your siblings dye their hair? sometimes Who can you best relate to in the last book you read? partially to Will, Stella and Poe Are you indecisive? it’s hard for me to make a decision but I am not changing my mind like wind blows

What are you listening to? Lana Del Rey What are you doing tomorrow? we’ll see What was the last compliment someone gave you? not sure which was last Do you have a big family? no but it’s still to big for me :x Which one of your senses would you miss the most if you lost it? sight, then hearing

What’s your opinion on prostitution? Should it be legal and regulated, or is it something that needs to be gotten rid of completely? it should be illegal If you want (or don’t want) kids, is this something you’ve always known or have you changed your mind as you’ve grown up? I wanted kids at first because I played dolls and didn’t know anything about pregnancy or taking care of real children, I just thought it’s normal everyone have them at some point and that’s all but once I found out more about the subject I realized it’s not for me because of many reasons

Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? yup Did the last person you kissed celebrate your last birthday with you? she wasn’t in my life at the time What’s the first word of the last text message you received? ok was the whole message XD

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I’m gonna die, if I won’t fall asleep I’ll explode, I feel so bad Are you okay right now? am I ever?... When was the last time you saw your mom? we’re home together What is the last thing you drank today? just going to drink some water in the kitchen Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? hope not What are you listening to right now? Cigarettes after sex Last time you had a sleepover? ages ago If the last person you dated said they were in love with you, what would you say? I know she does, she was telling me that already Do you replay things that have happened in your head? overthinking for life If you could get paid to do anything in the world, what would you do? sitting in front of the computer  Do your parents actually knock on your door before entering your room or just barge right in, instead? my dad knocks, my mom barges in What would you do if it snowed right now? ...

Are you more of a leader or a follower? loner

Would you say you’ve had a good life so far? no comment What’s something you wish you could have delivered to your house? regularly or right now? What’s your favorite art style? surrealism? Are any of your coworkers currently out on maternity/paternity leave? I don’t have coworkers now Do you have a good sense of balance? it’s hard to say Do you live in a very racially and culturally diverse country? no Do you live alone? I wish

Have you done something recently that helped someone else, in any way? nothing big If you knew that one of your friends was considering suicide, what would you say to them? depends

Who was the last person to pay you a compliment? my gf The shirt you’re wearinh - is it one of your favourites? yep Is there a certain name that you think seems to have become really popular, and you know lots of people with that same name? growing up Ewelina, Julia, Emilia, Katarzyna, Urszula, Małgorzata and Michał were the most popular names Before Facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site? yup Have you ever asked anyone “Do you love me?” If so, did you get the response you wanted? Do you think when someone says “I love you”, you feel obliged to say it back? yes, usually and kinda If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship, in case the same thing happened again? that’s normal Are you friends with the last person you hugged, or something more? we’re related Do you ever post song lyrics as your Facebook status? sometimes Do you drink alcohol on a regular basis, or do you prefer to save it for special occasions? I don’t drink even on special occassions Did you play with Barbies when you were a kid, or did you prefer something else? I played with Barbies but not only them If you were going to buy a present for the person you love/like, what would you generally choose? what she likes/wants/needs :) If I’m going to buy you a box of chocolates, which kind should I definitely NOT get? don’t buy me any Is there something you generally always ask for help with? I need help with many things :( Has anyone called you beautiful today? no, I’m not so that would be a lie

Who was the last person to see you cry? my mother

Do you drink bottled water? sometimes

You never know what you have until it’s gone. True or false? kinda true

Are you scared of losing the person you like to someone else? if they were happy with someone else - let that happen, I’ll be fine alone

Will you be in bed in the next 20 minutes? too early to sleep

Do you laugh at inappropriate times? rarely

How many bracelets do you have on right now? zero

Do you have someone you have late night conversations with? I do

What does your phone do when it receives a text? vibrates

What is in your pocket? no pockets!

Can you remember the last person you texted without looking? my sister 

Do you listen to music everyday? almost

Are you gonna be home alone tonight? I won’t be alone

If there was a large spider in your room, would you stay in the room? how big?

Are you a flirty person? maybe The last store you went to was…? local

Do you have a friend named Alex? used to  What did you think of the movie Juno? I have mixed feelings about it How often do you eat meat? often Have you ever gotten clothes from the kids section as an adult? I have :x Are you more of a science/math person or english/history person? I’m artsy  When you were little, would you have rather watched Cartoon Network or Disney Channel? we didn’t have such expensive channels Since using the internet regularly, have you started to read less than you used to? I read less not because of internet Are you a big fan of the Harry Potter series? nah Do you find yourself feeling lazier when the weather is warm? I feel lazier when the weather is cold because I don’t wanna leave my bed or home at least Are you a fan of the TV show Friends? watched fragments and I like Chandler and Phoebe - I think they would be great together, I’m a bit like them How old do you think is too old to sleep with a stuffed animal? never Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? I’m not How many tattoos would you like to have? I don’t plan any Are you over the age of 25? I am Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever? omg! I want my life to get better :( Would you rather live without music or without the t.v? without TV

Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? I mean, I still live with my parents. I feel like it’ll be harder for me the older I get to find someone who would date me because of not just that, but several reasons. Are you a generous person? I can be. I feel like I haven’t been very generous these past few years, though. :/ I just feel like I’ve been selfish and I don’t know... just hardened by shit. I used to be the one who was there for others and wanted to help any way I could. I haven’t been that person in awhile. Do you have a close relationship with your family? Yes.  Would you have to sleep with someone before marrying them? As of now marriage isn’t something I want. I also honestly just can’t see it ever happening for me. Right now, I don’t even see a relationship in my future.  Do you think there is life on other planets? No.

Do you own a car? No. I don’t drive. Would it bother you if your bf/gf flirted with someone else? Uh yeah, it absolutely would. I’d be upset. Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? That does sound fun. I don’t know what I’d play, though. Are you sexually attracted to any inanimate objects? Um, no. Do you dream of traveling the world or are you happy where you are? I’d love to travel the world someday. Certainly won’t be traveling anytime soon... Honestly, even after all this I’m going to be scared for awhile. :/ Have you traveled internationally? I’ve only been out of the country once. Would you watch a porno with your partner? No. I don’t care for porn. Have you ever stolen from your work? I’ve never had a job, but I’m no thief (stealing candy from the candy bins sometimes at the grocery store as a child doesn’t count, I didn’t know!). How much does intelligence turn you on? I wouldn’t say it turns me on, but it can be very attractive. I just like when someone is very passionate and into something and they’re excited to share it with you. It’s cute how animated they get and the way their face lights up when they talk about it. Do you ask someone out or wait for them to ask you? I’m too shy and awkward and lame to do the asking. Do you watch soap operas? No. They’re so cringe-y, I just can’t.  Do you own any sex toys? No. Do you talk about your sex life with either of your parents? I don’t have a sex life to speak of, but I definitely wouldn’t talk about it. That’s just too much. My mom and I are very close, but just no. And most definitely not with my dad! Do you search someone on the Internet before a first date? I haven’t done that. I’ve only dated 3 guys and had 1 guy who I was talking to and almost got to that point (at least I really thought we were), all of which I knew beforehand cause we were friends first. Are you married,engaged, or in a relationship with someone u want to marry? I’m very single. I’m not even talking to anyone and nor is there anyone I’ve even interested in.  How often do you use facebook at work? I don’t have a job. As for my Facebook usage, I go on there a few times a day and just spend a few minutes scrolling through my news feed, “liking”/reacting to stuff. Maybe share a post. Do you enjoy television or movies better? Both. Do you have a friendship that has lasted for 10 years or longer? I don’t have any friends anymore. Would you date someone half your age? Um, HELL no. That would make them 15, you perv. I can’t even look at an 18 year old that way. That’s still a child to me. Hell, even someone in their 20s. I’m almost 31, I wouldn’t date someone who wasn’t at least in their 30s. Would you consider donating your body to science after you die? I want to be cremated. Are you a romantic person? I haven’t really had a chance to find out. I’m a sucker for romcoms if that counts? ha. Would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends? No. Are you careful with your money? I’ve been better this year so far. Do you have a current passport? No. I don’t have a passport at all. Do you like to be friends with someone before dating them? That’s how it’s always been for me. Do you like soccer? I don’t care for any sport. Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? Group dates can be fun sometimes, too. How often do you go dancing/clubbing? I don’t. I’ve been to the club once and it wasn’t my thing.  Have you had a relationship with someone of the same sex? No. Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other? No. Do you meditate? No. Have you ever been fired from a job? I’ve never had a job. Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? There are things that science can’t explain. Do you cook fancy meals for dates? I don’t cook. Is intoxication ever an acceptable excuse for acting stupid? Not if it’s something serious and it endangers yourself or others. Like there’s absolutely NO excuse at all for drunk driving. NONE. Do you believe in an afterlife? Yes. Do you litter? Noooo. I hate when people do that, it drives me nuts. I’ve seen people who are literally just steps away from a trash can and will still do it. Like, WTF? I don’t understand. Just hold onto your trash until you can throw it away, it’s very simple. Like people who throw stuff out their car window?? Just set it down on the seat next to you or something until you can throw it away. Why is that so hard?  Would you have sex with someone hot who you hated? I wouldn’t have sex or be intimate in any way with someone I hated. I wouldn’t want to be hanging out with them in the first place. Do you have a career plan? No. Do you mostly cook your own meals? The only thing I cook is ramen. Otherwise, I just make sandwiches and microwave or oven meals if I’m making something to eat. My family takes care of dinner.  Have you ever been arrested? No. Could you live with someone who was really messy? No. Are sex and love the same thing? No. Do you go to church? I don’t attend physically at this time, but I do watch the livestreams my church does every Sunday. Do you have pets? I have a doggo <3 How many concerts do you attend a year? I haven’t been to a concert in over 10 years. Do you enjoy getting drunk? Nope. I stopped drinking about 7 years ago. Do you believe in fate or destiny? No. Have you ever called your friend a slut? I’ve called friends that before in a joking manner. Are you attracted to someone with Power? No. Doing nothing all day makes you feel...? That’s how I spend everyday. Have you ever had sex with someone you worked with? Sigh. Do you have any children? No. Would you date someone just for the sex? No. Do you give money to charities? I used to regularly. I haven’t in awhile, though. :/ Have you ever shot a gun? Yeah, once. I went to a shooting range with friends a few years ago and worked up the nerve to try it out. Have you ever gone on a blind date? No. That would be way too anxiety inducing for me than going on a date with someone I knew would already be. Have you ever had a one night stand? No. Are you a passionate person? I haven’t felt very passionate about much in a long time.  Do you consider yourself a positive person? :/ Have you ever lied about the number of sexual partners you've had? No. I have zero. I have no reason to lie about that. Are Sex and Intimacy the same thing? Sex is just one example of intimacy. There’s other ways to be intimate, including ones that don’t involve being sexual at all. Have you ever played strip poker? Nooo. I would never. How often do you get angry? I’m someone who gets irritated, moody, upset, and frustrated often, but not angry.  Do you consider yourself an emotional person? Oh yes. Is work important to you? I’ve never had a job and it��s not something I’m seeking currently. Have you had cosmetic surgery? I’ve had reconstructive surgery. On a first date do you pay or do they? In my experience, the guy paid. Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? Well, the guys I dated were full time students at the time and so was I. It’s been yearsss since I’ve been on a date.  Could you date someone who does drugs? I wouldn’t mind if they smoked weed, but anything else I wouldn’t be okay with. Are you a jealous person? I can be. I haven’t felt jealous in a long time. I feel envy more, I would say. Do you enjoy watching sports? No. Are you a cat or a dog person? I’m a dog person all the way. Is a girl who's slept with 100 guys a bad person? No. I admit it would be shocking to hear that, but no that absolutely doesn’t make them a bad person.  Do you offend people? I sure hope not. I really avoid sensitive and controversial topics. Do you prefer people in your life be simple or complex? A bit of both. Complex doesn’t necessarily mean bad. Have you ever been to a sex shop? Yeah, once. I had a friend who wanted to go to one for their 18th birthday lol so that’s what we did. Have you ever had a threesome? No. Not something I’m interested in.  Do you enjoy discussing politics? Noooo. Would you do a striptease for your partner? Gaaah. I can’t picture myself doing that. I’m super self-conscious about my body. I certainly don’t like seeing it unclothed. I also don’t know how to be sexy at all either so it’d be suuuuper awkward lol. No one would want to see that, trust me. Would you date someone who doesn't have a car? I wouldn’t not date someone because of that, but it sure would be nice if they did have a car since I don’t drive. If they had their license at least then we could just borrow my mom’s or my brother’s car, ha. Do you enjoy dancing? I don’t do much dancing apart from a head bob and some movement of my arms, but sure.  You have a week off, travel or stay home? I have the time, I just don’t have the money or the transportation. I lso wouldn’t travel alone, so it would depend on my family’s schedule. Can’t do any traveling right now or anytime soon for obvious reasons. :/ Does spending the weekend at home annoy you? I spend majority of my time at home (that was true prior to this quarantine and self-distancing thing going on). Is it wrong to watch porn if you're in a relationship? That’s up to you and your partner. Some people aren’t okay with that, so they have to work something out. For me, I don’t think I would really care that much. I’d just wonder why they’d want to. I don’t get the appeal, personally. *shrug* Do you think men should pay for everything on dates? No. I think it’d be nice to take turns or even split it sometimes. Would you tie up a partner if they asked you to do so? I have no sexual experience, man. I couldn’t start with that kind of stuff off the bat, we’d have to work up to that. I don’t even know if that’s something I’d feel comfortable with. I can’t see it being something I’d be interested in, honestly, but *shrug* Do you consider yourself open minded? Yes. Are you a virgin? If it wasn’t already abundantly clear, yes. Have you ever had sex in a public place? Do others find you sexy? No. Have you ever met someone in person you met online? No. Would you date someone twice your age? I don’t want to date a 60 year old, I’m sorry. Should a child caught masturbating be punished? No. How often do you drink? I don’t. Coffee or tea? The answer is always coffee. There’s no competition.  Do you tell your friends you love them? I never was one to say that. If a friend said it to me I’d just be like, “awww.”  Hahaha.