Books read in October

I read a paperback book for the first time in over three months months and was sharply aware that I couldn’t change anything about the way the text was displayed to make it more comfortable to read. I wondered, sadly, if I no longer like reading physical books.

Then I became engrossed in the story, and there were long stretches of time when I didn’t think about how I was reading a brick of printed paper. I turned pages as automatically and effortlessly as breathing. I think I was just out of practice.

This month’s Unintentional Colour Scheme: pink, purple and light blue.

Favourite covers: The Time-Traveling Popcorn Ball and The Other Side of the Sky. 

Also read: “Good Neighbors” by Stephanie Burgis and Tiny House, Big Love by Olivia Dade. (And half a romance novel which I disliked and have no interest in remembering or reviewing.) 

Reread: The last section of The Beckoning Hills by Ruth Elwin Harris. The middle section of Hunting by Andrea K. Höst.

Still reading: Between Silk and Cyanide by Leo Marks, and Angel Mage by Garth Nix.

Next up: The Switch  by Beth O’Leary, and Hamster Princess: Little Red Rodent Hood by Ursula Vernon.

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The Time-Traveling Popcorn Ball by Aster Glenn Gray: A magical story of time-travel and of friendship between eleven year old Piper, who has just moved into a new house, and Rosie, who lived in the same house fifty years earlier. It’s totally charming, and exactly the sort of story I adored growing up. Sometimes that makes me wish I could send a book back in time to my younger self, but I appreciated this book’s references to things that my younger self didn’t know about. I also appreciated how, even though I’ve read similar stories, I couldn’t predict how this one would end. That was very satisfying.

The Game of Kings by Dorothy Dunnett: In 1547, Francis Crawford, the Master of Lymond, wanted by the Scottish government for treason, is back in Edinburgh. The audiobook was the perfect way to experience this! The voices the narrator uses highlights clues in the text, about who’s speaking or the subtext and emotional tones of a conversation, which helped me to follow the story even when I felt confused about exactly what was going on. I enjoyed the Scottish accents, the clever wit, the ambiguity about Lymond’s plans and motives, and the way many characters are very intelligent, perceptive people. I was interested in the historical political intrigue. I loved the twists and revelations, which are brilliant -- incredibly clever and satisfying.

“Good Neighbors” by Stephanie Burgis:  The first “fantasy rom-com” about a grumpy inventor who, along with her father, moves into a cottage nextdoor to a notorious necromancer in his big black castle. I wasn’t expecting to read about Mia stitching up undead minions, but appreciate that Burgis doesn’t take this opportunity to give glory details. This short story was fun and satisfying, and I am looking forward to when the rest of this series becomes (easily) available.

Lake of Sorrows by Erin Hart: After Haunted Ground, Dr Nora Gavin heads to the midlands west of Dublin to oversee the evacuation of another body discovered in a peat bog. The setting is fascinating and I like the atmosphere -- this has a strong sense of both place and mystery. However the multiple murders meant there’s more unpleasantness than I’d prefer. But it’s probably not enough to deter me from reading the next book.

The Dictionary of Lost Words by Pip Williams: Engrossing -- a poignant story of childhood during the late 19th century and womanhood in the early 20th century, and an absolutely fascinating insight into the decades-long process behind the first Oxford English Dictionary. Esme’s father is one of the lexicographers collecting and defining words for the Dictionary. Esme grows up with a fascination for words and begins to collect words that the Dictionary leaves out. I liked that Esme has people in her life who love and support her, but the ending is intensely sad. I’m not sure why that disappointed me. As an ending, it fits this story.

Taking Down Evelyn Tait by Poppy Nwosu: Australian YA. Lottie is furious that no one else seems to realise what Evelyn Tait, her nemesis (and stepsister) is like. Her best friend Grace is in love with Evelyn. Her teachers and her father tell Lottie she should emulate Evelyn. So Lottie decides that she’s going to do just that -- she’s going to be better than Miss Perfect. I thought this was a very realistic portrayal of a teenager’s relationships -- with family, with friends, with school and with herself. It’s amusing and, ultimately, believably positive. It captures Lottie’s perspective and her experiences in-the-moment so effectively and intensely.

Wired Love: a romance of dots and dashes by Ella Cheever Thayer (1888): Nattie, a telegraph operator who chats whenever she can “over the wire” with C., another telegraph operator miles down the line. I love stories where characters fall in love through exchanged messages. And the experiences of telegraph operators is absolutely fascinating -- simultaneously a product of the past and yet incredibly relatable from a contemporary perspective, because the internet and mobile phones mean we communicate so much through text. After Nattie and Clem meet, the focus shifts away from the telegraph office to antics at their boardinghouse, but the story continues to be fun and delightful. 

Once Upon a Con series by Ashley Poston:

Geekerella: When Elle discovers her late parents’ cosplay costumes in a box in the attic, she hatches a plan to enter a cosplay competition and use the prize to escape her step-family. This contemporary Cinderella retelling about two teenage fans of a SF series Starfield is a romance-through-messages story. Elle uses her father’s old phone, so sometimes she gets messages from people about ExcelsiCon, the convention her father founded. One message sparks a conversation -- but neither she nor Darien realise just who they’re texting. As expected, this is fun and fandom-y, and it makes the coincidences and Cinderella moments feel believable.

The Princess and the Fangirl: At ExcelsiCon, Starfield actress Jessica Stone swaps places with a fan, Imogen. Jess needs to find a mislaid script before she’s accused of leaking it, and Imogen hopes for an opportunity to promote the #Save Amara initiative. I enjoyed how they both experience a different side of fandom. Imogen discovers the pressures of being a star, when con appearances are your job, and, away from the spotlight, Jess discovers how cons allow people to come together and celebrate things they love.  My only disappointment was the way they both deceive Imogen’s fandom friend, Harper. I wish that had been handled differently.

The Little Bookshop at Herring Cove by Kellie Hailes: Unlike other books I’ve borrowed because they had “bookshop” in the title, this didn’t focus very much on books, nor did it describe its bookshop vividly. Sophie could have easily owned a different sort of shop without changing the plot, the setting or the atmosphere. This is a light-hearted romance about nice people in a generic seaside town -- not what I was looking for. I wanted more about books and a stronger sense of place.

Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly (narrated by Cassandra Campbell, Kathleen Gati and Kathrin Kana): This begins with three different women at the start of WWII -- a teenager in Poland, a newly-graduated doctor in Germany and a wealthy consulate worker in New York -- and  becomes about the Ravensbruck Rabbits, Polish political prisoners subjected to medical experimentation. Not what I expected or wanted to be reading (which is not its fault. I switched to the ebook, because I'm irrationally squeamish about some medical things and cope better when reading to myself). This story is compelling and does a good job of showing how the pain and trauma didn’t just end with the war. And it’s incredibly important to keep telling stories about distressing parts of history. 

The Other Side of the Sky by Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner: More or less the sort of story I expected from these two. Nimh is the Divine One in a world of magic and prophecy. North is a prince in a floating city of science and engineering. Nimh believes the gods fled into the sky thousands of years ago, and North believes no one still lives down on the surface… until he crashes his glider. I enjoyed this but don’t feel any emotional investment -- yet. I will read the sequel.

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade: April and Marcus keep fandom separate from their professional lives -- April to avoid negative comments, Marcus (an actor) to avoid violating his contract. So when Marcus sees a cosplay photo of April online, he doesn’t recognise his friend, he just sees a gorgeous woman getting nasty comments and invites her to dinner. I was hooked. As a romance, this didn’t always focus on the things I most wanted it to, but I understood why it made those narrative choices and liked how the characters resolved their mistakes. And I really liked it as a story about fanfiction and the way we tell stories in response to other stories.

Big Love, Tiny House by Olivia Dade: Lucy goes on a Tiny House Hunting show and drags along her best friend Sebastian. I’ve watched countless tiny house videos on Youtube, so it was fun to see tiny houses depicted in fiction -- although I was disappointed that all the houses are so disastrously bad. Beyond that, I have no strong feelings one way or another about this romance novella.

Memento: an Illuminae Files novella by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff (narrated by a full cast): A bonus prequel, set aboard the Alexander prior to the events of Illuminae. The audiobook is so well done! Even though this is a short story/novella, I cared about the new characters it introduces -- I really like the epistolary format and how it requires the reader to fill in some of the gaps for themselves. (I think that’s part of why I love The Illuminae Files but so far have no strong feelings about Kaufman and Kristoff’s latest series.) And it’s always interesting to see more of AIDAN.

thequintessentialqueer replied to your post: Also no one is talking to me about star wars and...

star wars ruined my life and brought me more hope than I know what to do with

Ikr, but seriously, all i care about is the sequel trio aka my space babies, the Resistance/Alliance (bc of rogue one and that one blogger i followed who makes shit tons of headcanons abt resistance pilots), and maybe some jedi lores and exploration on the concept of the fore but these are not part of my primary interest anymore lol (i might pay attention to these stuff more later on but...)

All my hope in (the future of) sw series lies in the promise of space gays and MORE anti space fascists content. If Star Wars epi 8 comes out in December and Lucasfilm does not deliver the gayness (//cough// Poe Is Gay //cough//) or lets Rey develop SOME sort of relationship with a girl or screws up Finn’s characterization in some shape and form, im gonna abort this space ship so fast like, i’d probably be out of the door before the credits finishes rolling in theatre lmao 

To Fall, Or Not to Fall: Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala.

"We don't say "rising into love." There is in it the idea of the fall. "  -- Alan Watts, "Falling in Love."

It's officially the end of February and my brain can not handle how quickly twenty-seventeen is already passing us by! I meant to have this particular post up on That Film Girl, Britt by February 14th, but fate (and procrastination, at it's finest) had other plans. If you happened to notice my beautiful logo created by the wonderful Brittany Fett (of Fett&Co), you may have speculated (and you would be 100% correct) that I have a slight fondness (#obsession) for Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) and Padme Amidala (Natalie Portman) of the Star Wars Saga. For as long as I can remember, I've been watching the Star Wars films and some of my favorite memories from when I was young are watching the original trilogy with my mom. I jokingly say that I came out of the womb knowing Harrison Ford's name before knowing my own due to my mother's own fondness of everyone's favorite smuggler. That being said, I never truly became invested in that oh so familiar galaxy far, far away until I was five years old and I dragged her to go see Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (because duh, Star Wars) in theaters. It was while watching that film I found a hero I never knew I needed in Padme and from that moment on, I became a die-hard of the franchise. However it wasn't until I saw Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith at the Mustang Drive-In (TWICE) that I began to care about Anakin Skywalker, specifically Hayden Christensen's portrayal of Anakin's fall into darkness. I fell in love with Anakin within seconds upon being introduced to him in Revenge of the Sith, all it took was a quirky side-smile and his vehement defense of R2-D2 ("No loose wire jokes...he's trying"), and I was head over heels. More to the point, it was within this film that I fell in love with Anakin and Padme's relationship. From the moment they reunite during the beginning of the film, I had butterflies from the intimacy of their touch and the love in their eyes. To me, it was pure magic and it was what made their tragic end that much more heart-breaking. It was the raw emotion I felt between these two characters in this film that left me breathless by the end and strengthened my resolve to follow my dream of working in the film industry, a dream I am still currently working towards nearly twelve years later. 

I've often questioned why I love these two so dearly beyond what I felt as an adolescent watching the chemistry between Natalie Portman, an actress I've been watching mesmerize the silver screen for practically all of my life, and Hayden Christensen, who I must admit was the first guy to ever catch my eye (who else could make the dark side look SO good) especially now that I'm older. Is it a sense of loyalty to my younger self, a justification of life-long taste? Or a sense of nostalgia that I will never shake? But the more I think about it, the more I've come to the conclusion that it's something more. Much more in fact, or else I would still faithfully say that Bella and Edward are indeed a healthy-functioning relationship (oh what it is to be fourteen and blissfully ignorant). I could argue until I'm blue in the face why I believe Anakin and Padme to be as iconic of a couple as Han and Leia, but deep down, I know why these two will always make my heart skip a beat and that's no ones business, but my own. It is in the little things like aggressive negotiations and radiating smiles during clandestine meetings that I find my "I love you...I know." It is in behind-the-scenes photos of moments I will never fully get to experience that makes my heart race like no other. It is in interviews where I saw two people who truly cared about each other that I found my heroes. 

But wait, let me capture this moment! It is the small, intimate moments between Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala that I savor above all else because while I ferociously love these two characters together, they are not perfect. As much as the beginning of Revenge of the Sith made my heart soar to a galaxy far, far away, the second-half of the film brought it to a screeching halt. I HATE the injustice done to Padme, the very idea that she lost the will to live after giving birth to two beautiful babies who needed her or the insinuation that she died of a broken heart. Where is the Padme Amidala from the Prequel storyboards who dreamt of Anakin's fall overcome by the force-sensitivity flowing through her body, or the one who could not bare to see her lover do this to himself so she set out to kill him, only to realize she couldn't upon kissing Anakin on Mustafar? I HATE how unsatisfying their final kiss is because Anakin is no longer himself, driven mad by the fear of losing her and the lies he told himself to somehow make sense of what he had done. I HATE how forlorn I've felt ever since I realized there would be no happy ending for these two characters I fell so hopelessly for, BUT I will never justify what Anakin did after he became Darth Vader, because the Anakin Skywalker I loved died the moment Padme did. It was in the second-half of the film I saw real human beings, albeit in out of this world circumstances, but the vulnerability and the pain was all the same. While they may not be perfect, they were real to me and I've never felt the same since. 

Sadly, I'm often isolated by my feelings for these two because they are the reason I love Star Wars as passionately as I do and not many feel the same as I do, but seeing as February is the month of love, I wanted to share how I let the galaxy know where my loyalties lie in a galaxy far, far away! Sometimes it feels like I am on a quest to find the Ark of Covenant when all I'm searching for is merchandise featuring the two key players of one-half of the most-successful film franchise in cinematic history. In the midst of Han and Leia EVERYTHING, I've found there are few places to turn to find these two together...at least, without the mention of sand or dramatic fireside proclamations (beautiful to read, awkward to say). It is in small businesses I've found my salvation however, such as Fett&Co's Across the Star...bucks shirt or artists such as Maria of Some Imagination Art on Instagram who graciously created the gorgeous bag you can see above for me. While I can't buy a hat that says "You call this a diplomatic solution?" "No, I call it aggressive negotiations" on it or a Funko POP set featuring their secret wedding ceremony on Naboo, at least I can go to awe-inspiring artists like Maria who have the ability to make something personal that I can carry with me always, along with my dreams. Until then I'll be listening to Across the Stars on repeat and imagining a galaxy where things turned out a little differently. 

Because of a little switch in the back of my mind that says "THIS IS NOT REAL" (other than when I've decided to watch a horror movie, of course), I've never been an emotional movie-watcher. I've only truly cried once while watching a film and you might be able to guess which one it is...witnessing the fall of Anakin and specifically, the death of Padme, my hero since the age of five years old, was enough to bring me to my knees.  I vividly remember the heartbreak I felt while watching the credits roll underneath a blanket of stars at the Drive-In, because I couldn't believe that it was over and this was it. I would never see these two characters together again and that broke me. It still breaks me, which is why when I find things like the Star Wars: Galactic Spectacular fireworks show in Disney's Hollywood Studios, I keep coming back for more. I've seen the show multiple times and I could watch it a billion times more times for the inclusion of the two, as pictured above. For over a decade, Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala have shattered my heart and rebuilt it over, and over again, and I will always come back for more. In fact, I live for it.  Till next time, Britt.  #NowWatching: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.