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reylo-trash-4ever · 4 years

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FRIENDS IT IS I. HERE WITH MORE REYLO FANFICTION

Can’t believe I actually wrote this in one sitting... sorry if it’s shitty but I just wanted to get this ‘exposition’ stuff out of the way so that the REAL fun may begin! WHOOHOO!! Get ready for a wild ride my reylos!

As always, MUCH LOVE to my besties @scav-eng-er and @mojona1999 for being the coolest ReyloMates ever and for suffering through my endless snl “live tweeting” with me!

And special shout out to @lana-n95 and @firethebluesky for always supporting me. Enjoy!

THE GAME: Chapter 3 (a Modern Reylo AU)

Word count: 2850

His voice was low and silky. He must have regained his composure before she did as she felt the skin of her palms being pierced by nails from fists she didn’t know she clenched. Her vision focused on him and him alone, as if they were suddenly the only people in the world. The surroundings faded and there was a white hot anger swelling in her from the very tip of her toes on up.

“Oh good, I see you two have already me then?” Amilyn’s voice somehow found its way through the ringing in Rey’s ears, but she could do nothing besides stare into the face of the mysterious man before her. She didn’t respond, and there was an awkward pause where she realized the question had been directed her way.

“Not exactly,” the man spoke up first, answering for her, “we ran into each other last night, but nothing more.”

The casual way he blew her off made her anger boil further and she noticed the subtle jab at ‘running’ into each other. If she remembered that encounter correctly, it was his carelessness and haste that caused the collision. She had nothing to do with it, and she hated the way he already seemed to twist the narrative to make it look like she was to blame.

“So you haven’t been properly introduced then?” Amilyn asked while motioning for Rey to take a seat opposite her and next to the man, who still stood. Her feet felt like they were stuck in place, and it was like walking through thick jello with every step she forced herself to take closer to them. She finally made it to the chair, giving Amilyn a nod and the smallest twitch of a smile in thanks. She took her seat and noticed that the man remained standing until she was fully below him. Only when Amilyn also sat, did he lower himself to their level, but even sitting down his presence seemed to flaunt over them.

“Rey, this is Kylo Ren. He’s been with the company for a few years now, but he travels between firms so you probably haven’t had a chance to see him work in action before now. He’s an accomplished lawyer with many cases under his belt, and his father is-”

“That’s enough Amilyn,” Kylo cut off his superior before she could continue. Rey gaped at his audacity and waited for the cold response of Amilyn, but it didn’t come. Instead, she did the last thing Rey expected; she apologized to him.

“I’m sorry, Ren. I didn’t think it would be an issue here.” Her voice did come off as slightly chilled and Rey detected a greatly hidden offense, but it was nothing like the stern tone she often took with her employees. Rey couldn’t believe what she was hearing and wondered who this ‘Kylo’ had to be to make Amilyn the one to apologize when he was clearly in the wrong.

“As I was saying, Rey” she continued, turning to look at her again, “I’m assuming you already made the connection that Kylo is who you will be working the Terrio case with. He will be an incredible asset to this specific case and a wonderful addition to our team. I’ve long awaited the days when he would return to us.”

Even though they were praising, there was a delicacy in Amilyn’s words, as if she were afraid that by saying the wrong thing, Kylo would react poorly. Rey tried to keep her eyes trained on the woman in front of her, but she dared a few glances at the man. She could feel his demeanor shift from pompous superiority to boredom. Amilyn was speaking as if he were her own son, something Rey found herself alarmingly jealous of, and he was on the verge of acting like a teenager who couldn’t care less.

There was a pause in the conversation where any normal person would show their gratitude towards such high praise, but Kylo didn’t respond. After a few more awkward moments where both of the woman simply stared at him, he finally spoke.

“Now that all of that is out of the way, are we ever going to get to start on this so called ‘important’ case?” Kylo leaned back in his seat, propping his left foot over his right knee and taking up an impossible amount of space with his lengthy form.

“Ben,” Amilyn sighed, dropping her professional airs and rubbing her forehead with her hand.

“I told you not to call me by that name,” Kylo snarled suddenly, but Amilyn continued without even seeming to notice. Rey wondered why she called him ‘Ben’ instead of the previously mentioned ‘Ren’. Amilyn was not one to make simple errors on something as important as a name.

“If you’re going to work with us, you need to have more respect for our process. Your mother told me that you were willing to cooperate here, and I fully expect that to happen. I will not go easy on you because of your parentage and you will listen to what I say.”

Rey felt like she was put in the middle of some kind of family quarrel and she suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable. She looked to the floor, hoping that was the respectful thing to do, and heard Kylo try to make retorts, but Amilyn kept giving him no time to cut in. Should she leave? This didn’t really feel like it was about her anymore and she didn’t know what to do, or even if she should do anything at all.

“Need I remind you of the consequences if this doesn’t turn out like your mother hoped it would?” Amilyn said in a hushed town, and Rey could sense a threat when she heard one. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kylo clench the handles of his chair so hard that his knuckles went white.

There was another long silence and Rey was about to scream from discomfort, every inch of her body begging her to run away, but finally it was broken by Amilyn.

“I’m sorry, Rey, we’re going to have to cut this short. I’ll fill you in on the details when I’m finished here. Please close the door on your way out.”

Rey knew it as an instant dismissal and she shot out of her seat, thankful for an excuse to get the hell out of that situation. She practically leapt from the room, crossing the long distance between the doorway and the chairs in a mere few strides.

It wasn’t until she was fully out of the room, the door almost shut behind her, did she realize she left her bag with her laptop and case files inside. She silently cursed herself, wishing to god she didn’t have to go back in.

Mustering up all of her courage, she meant to knock and go back, but the conversation coming from inside made her stop. She knew she shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but she couldn’t help it when she heard her name.

“Rey is incredibly talented, Ren, and I want you to teach her,” Amilyn sounded more serious and intense than she previously had. Rey wondered if she had been putting on an act in front of her, or maybe it had been for her?

“She’s a kid!” Kylo hissed.

“She’s a woman with high potential,” Amilyn corrected. Rey’s heart fluttered with the praise, “and I will not have you ruining it for me. This is your last chance to make your past mistakes right. Your uncle asked me to-”

“My uncle is a piece of shit!” Kylo yelled, and Rey heard his chair skid on the floor. She imagined him angrily rising from his seat with enough force to slide the chair out from under him. His intimidating height gave her those chills again as she could see the scene in front of her as clear as day.

“Luke is a legend at this firm and if you want to hide your relation to him and your mother, that’s your choice and none of my business. But, you are sure as hell going to have to keep your temper in check.” Amilyn’s voice was as cold as ice now and Rey found herself wanting to shiver with a new kind of chill. She prayed she would never have to hear that directed towards her.

It seemed to have done something to Kylo as well. There was a beat in their conversation and when he spoke again, his tone had calmed somewhat and his words were slow.

“I did not come out of my own volition, or because I had any desire to be here, in the slightest. You will be wise to remember that, Holdo.”

“And you will be wise to treat your superiors with respect, Ben Solo.”

Rey’s mind clicked with something at the name. Weren’t the women in the office talking about a ‘Ben’ the other night? And Amilyn had used it just moments before. Was it not just a slip of the tongue?

What caught Rey’s attention more than anything was the family name she used directly after. Solo… why was that so familiar to her?

Suddenly it hit her like as fast and as forceful as a train. Solo was the name often associated with the whole Skywalker company. If she remembered her research right - which she always did - Solo was the last name of the man who helped the CEO create to company. He co-owned the business, although he himself didn’t practice law. Luke Skywalker, the world renowned and super famous lawyer created the business with his brother in law, Han Solo. Han married Luke’s sister, Leia, and they had a son together who Luke took under his wing from a very young age. The stories regarded him as a genius and he was quickly in line to take over the company for the both of them when he came of age.

Except, he apparently wanted nothing to do with it. He was a spoiled rich boy born into high society New York who had a silver spoon thrust into his mouth since he was a baby. Even though he was known to abhor those of his class, his attitude was always that of someone who regarded himself ‘better’ than everyone else. He was reportedly one of the biggest assholes you could ever meet, but everyone constantly sucked up to him because of the standing in life that his friendship, and money, would gain them. Rey thought that sounded like a very lonely way to live.

The rumors were that he and his uncle used to be very close, but they had a huge falling out, and it was the reason for Skywalkers early retirement. The company scrambled without him and his sister, Leia Organa, took over in his stead. She ran the business fairly, but when it caused a rift between her and her husband, they split shortly after. Everyone said the divorce was their sons fault because of his rowdy and rebellious antics and they couldn’t control him without Luke’s help.

That’s when Ben Solo fell off the face of the earth. Rey heard of this ‘Kylo Ren’ but she never suspected it was a fake persona for the man trying to hide his family name. The realization of everything suddenly hit her. Amilyn Holdo wanted her to work with the CEO’s prodigy nephew?! The son of the current leader and of the infamous Solo?!

She realized that Amilyn must have high expectations of her, and the thought was almost crushing in its responsibility. But Rey also found her excitement welling up within her again. She loved nothing more than a challenge, and working with that prick of a man was going to be just that.

Suddenly, the door opened in front of her and she almost fell inside. Luckily, she caught her balance and saved herself from looking like a fool. Except, her eyes widened as she realized she was looking at the feet of Kylo Ren, or rather, Ben Solo. She slowly looked up as he glared down at her.

“Were you listening to our private conversation?” He practically spat at her, making her wince.

“N-no! I just forgot my bag,” Rey stuttered a whisper, trying to look inconspicuous, but knowing she failed miserably. What else could she have been doing? It was obvious that she probably heard every word of their very personal dialogue.

“Is there something wrong, Kylo?”

She heard Amilyn use his disguise name from behind them, knowing that his large frame completely hid her from sight. Was he going to expose her in front of their boss? It was an easy way to get rid of her, eavesdropping would surely make her lose favor with Amilyn and would give her the wrong kind of attention.

Ben’s mouth twitched once before twisting into an evil grin as he never broke eye contact with Rey. She felt her stomach drop and she found she couldn’t breathe. She was completely at his mercy, and from the look on his face, that was something he didn’t posses.

“It’s nothing, Holdo,” he said over his shoulder, still watching Rey, “I seem to have forgotten my things, is all.”

In one swift movement, he shoved the bag he already carried on his shoulder towards Rey with such strength that she was forced back a few steps and out of eyesight from anyone sitting at Amilyn’s desk. He turned around and she watched him move out of sight only to return a few seconds later with her own bag clasped by one of his large hands. He shut the door softly behind him, and turned to look at her expectantly. Rey realized that other people were beginning to file into the office for their day of work. She still clutched his briefcase with both arms across her chest and stared up at him with disbelief.

“Why did you do that?” She demanded after he refused to say anything or make a single move. More bodies were coming from the elevator and they were quickly being outnumbered by easily gossip mongering men and women. Rey wanted to be seen with Ben as little as possible, and she could only imagine the rumors they would start by standing so close together in a small doorway.

“Because now,” Ben breathed, leaning in close and whispering in her ear, “you owe me.”

Rey’s eyes were wide and she instinctively shoved him away from her. Her cheeks felt hot and her brain was fuzzy. How the hell did he always get the better of her?

“What is that supposed to mean?!” She said hotly, watching his smirk turn into a frown of obvious annoyance.

“It means that you have to do whatever I say, kid.”

He said the word as an insult and Rey felt humiliated. She huffed in response and rolled her eyes, trying her best to look as nonchalant as possible. She didn’t want him to keep thinking that he could get under her skin so easily.

“I don’t think that’s what Amilyn meant,” Rey challenged, “now would you please give me back my bag?”

Ben’s dark eyes flashed angrily and Rey could tell that his importance wasn’t used to being challenged. She could see the anger threatening to break loose from his fake ‘calm composure’ and she braced herself for the explosion.

But it never came. Instead, an idea seemed to form in Ben’s mind and the cockiness returned to his eyes, although he continued to glower at her.

“Actually, I think I’m going to keep this,” he said, tapping on the bag he now had slung over his shoulder, “think of it as a get-to-know-you exorcise. You keep mine and I’ll keep yours. Should be interesting to learn a little bit about each other, no?”

Rey glared at him, concern quickly growing in her with every word he spoke. Did he really think that was a good idea?!

“That’s ridiculous,” she said, pretending that her heart wasn’t pounding at the idea of him sneaking through her personal belongings, “you wouldn’t even be able to get into it because you don’t know the password.”

“Oh don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll figure them out.”

“Stop calling me that,” Rey retorted, making Ben raise an eyebrow at her ferocity. He simply shrugged his shoulders and stepped out into the hallway as people walked past them.

“I think I’ll work from home today. We’ll meet up tomorrow once we’ve ‘gotten to know each other’ a bit more, I think.”

Rey didn’t have any time to reply as he walked through the sea of people flooding in. He was easy to spot over the heads of everyone else, and Rey tried to rush after him, calling out that she still had no idea what he meant, but he made it to the elevator before she could and the doors slid shut in front of her face.

And just like that he once again left her in complete and utter shock and silence.

20 notes · View notes

ralfstrashcan · 5 years

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3x21 Reaction / Commentary

I was seriously wondering if this was Alec because Magnus loss = melt down = shaky fingers but Alec would never voluntarily drink something so pretentious. But uuhhh I had thought Jonathan angry-flapped through the rift to Edom? Why he now here still?

More seelie queen crown, yeah!!

Not buying that whole “your demon blood is burning away your humanity” because, again, he lived years without being bonded to Clary so what's taken that “transformation” so long? Also, will he become like, a raven? A harpy? Oh no, I saw the promo. He'll be blond. Makes sense.

He just showed that he's not interested, stop harassing him you sick cougar.

Uhhhhh, objection your honor. That fake blade only contained like three atoms of the original Glorious. But whatever, details amiright.

Also if they wanna tell me it's the blade that triggered the transformation then a) wtf why would a blade designed to break something evil make the evil actually MORE evil wtf for a shit equipment is that b) can we expect some ridic changes for Clary too, that make her even more Mary Sue? c) if Lucifer was so badass, where is he? Something killed him, maybe? Since Jonathan is declared most uniquest thing to ever unique?

“A splendid pet bird. And he died a few decades back so I'd like to recruit you as replacement,. Whatcha say? I'll even drop bird themed pick up lines around you all day.” God I'm making myself sick.

BS when you think about it, because every individual is unique. Good luck salvaging the climate change and what not, seelie queen, on your heroic quest to preserve all that is unique.

#rejected, take that you prowling predator. Can you believe she annoyed him so much he just abandoned his pretentious cream drink thingy? So rude. Also nice touch that they remembered that thing with the flowers and Jonathan making them poor flowers wilt. Btw would that have worked if they were plastic flowers?? Haha ok sorry.

Wtf I'm very much not on board with the seelie queen having a weird Jonathan fetish. Also, if the sole reason she has it is that Jonathan is “one of a kind” then I wonder why she wasn't ruthlessly hitting on Simon the same way? Or technically, before Simon became a daylighter, on Cain, getting him to leave the sewers and chill in the seelie realm instead?

1) Wow can you believe they managed to spare Malec's drama 3 seconds of consideration before getting absorbed in themselves again? Amazing. 2) Dude, you weren't in control of your actions while Clary was brainwashed and very much in control of her actions. That's not really comparable? But whatever.

Some great “love” you've got going on there, Maryse, writing Magnus off after, what? Half a day? Two days? Smh.

???????????????????? So they want to tell me Magnus plastered his magic like a bandaid over the rift but didn't really close it? Well, I am prepared with outrage to point out all the ways in which this is bullshit.

1) There clearly was no such thing to be seen from the other side.

Since Edom and Earth are two different dimensions and on Earth's side there was no rift in the dimension's fabric anymore that obviously means if the wraiths slipped through that Edom crack they'd either be lost in limbo or flapping around in some inter-dimesional space. But they couldn't reach Earth. So I fail to see how this is a problem.

2) How the hell do the NY Shadowhunters know about this? Since from their side the rift was well and truly closed? They don't know that Magnus has to keep his magical band-aid in place? The only thing they have to wonder about is why the hell Magnus hasn't returned yet since Magnus proved in 3x20 that apparently interdimensional travel works with normal warlock portals and those fancy pentagram things aren't necessary.

3) Uhhhh if Magnus has to stay there to keep up the magical band-aid (since exit options clearly aren't the issue here) wtf won't he tire at some point? Am I supposed to believe exhausting isn't a thing in Edom? What happens if he has to sleep? (Sidenote, what the hell do they eat in Edom anyway? Will he have to roast some shax demons? Disturbing.) Anyway back to the topic at hand, if I'm supposed to believe that Magnus is THAT strong he can keep up this magic (a magic that was so enormous he couldn't even achieve it from Earth) for eternity without taking a break, then I doubly don't get why he can't just SEAL the goddamn rift?! And don't tell me it's because band-aid magic is something he can do, and different from rift sealing magic which is something he can't do. Because again, 2x20 is a thing where Magnus proves that he is capable of sealing a rift; so the only explanation of why he didn't do it in 3x20 is because the rift was too powerful. Now correct me if I'm wrong but to me Magnus + Enhanced Edom Powers equals He Closes The Rift, not Weird Band-Aid Magic. Wtf.

HAHAHAH I CAN'T!!!!! THANKS MAGNUS FOR POINTING THIS OUT!!! AND IN THE SASSIEST WAY POSSIBLE!!!!! IT'S BEEN BUGGING ME SINCE 3x10 XD XD XD

Love that shot.

1) Thanks, Lilith, for confirming that Magnus is in fact constantly supplying the band-aid with magic and thus exposing this whole plot line as completely frakkin illogical. 2) Wtf Lilith, why the heck did you go back to Edom in 3x16 if you wanted to murder Jonathan????? IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL WTF 3) Where tf is Cain?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T

Wow that escalated quickly. I hate that even though Magnus knows it's just a trick to get into his head it still hurts him, because this is how he is: alwasy second-guessing his worth. He deserves better from all of them, deserves more from them, so he wouldn't feel this so keenly.

Ok, good save, I was just gearing up for a rage about why the hell Magnus is more powerful than the literal mother of demons who could defeat everyone, even with his Ddom-Edition-Powers because come on. However, Magnus must know that this is just a temporal solution because recovering means at some point she'll be recovered and, well.

Also, this shot haha.

Hahahaha I see he inherited the hell puns from Asmodeus along with the real estate XD

I mean, yeah, and then he acted like a total fool in his last few days. Great way to go, man. #stillbitter

“People mattered to Jordan. People, their troubles, their pain...”

That was sweet.

HAHAHAHA THAT WAS HILARIOUS

Probably off to do something to enrage me, so same as always.

Oh look, he's robbing a bakery because being jobless and needing food doesn't mix well.

OMG I SUDDENLY REMEMBER THIS FROM THE 3B TRAILER. You know, Luke being all creepy in the back of a car? Wtf, honestly I think I'll have even less patience for Human!Luke than I have Inapt!Werewolf!Luke. They're really testing me.

“....like Sizzy” Hahahah okay I'll try to behave myself. And I had time to prepare, it was obvious they'd use that inspirational thing Maia said for Sizzy purposes.

Yeah...... #irony #obviously me behaving myself isn't working out, who's surprised? I'm not.

Don't they have fire extinguishers in the Institute somewhere? I mean, there's regulations for that, right? Lemme guess, that's remnants of the Glorious fake sword that pierced her? And now she can't be with Simon without killing him, hahaha, all Sizzy problems solved XD

When I saw this (in the Sneak Peek, but still counts) my first thought was “Aha NOW he tries to find a solution but when Magnus first lost his magic he couldn't be bothered RUDE ALEC WTF” lol ahahahah

Question time: 1) Didn't he have plants in there last episode?

OH RIGHT HE HAD!!! What happened to them? *Sherlock Voice* Did he eat them??

2) Why didn't Alec wonder where the hell Lorenzo was? Sure, he's a little preoccupied atm with losing Magnus, but he should have realized Lorenzo was weirdly absent about five hours into his happy little loft occupation???

3) I fully expected the scratching to be Chameleon!Lorenzo vying for attention, but seeing it, omg my heart broke a little. Can you imagine the desperation?? Poor evil lizard baby.

You know, I find it inherently troubling that Alec assumes Magnus always had this lizard and has only now decided to relocate its terrarium into the loft's main room, instead of thinking Magnus got the lizard as, idk, a pick-me-up after the breakup. I mean, what kind of lousy pet holder does he take Magnus for? Not even mentioning he has one, never taking care of it? That's not Magnus. Alec should know better.

Als Bohemian so incisively pointed out, why would he have created a pet cobra that he calls “baby” if he hated reptiles? And while, granted, Alec might not know about this, I believe Cat should. So wtf.

.....................................they honestly felt the need to tell her this? In grave detail and that this was their first kiss? Why would they do that?? Or did she look at the tapes??? So many questions.

Lol okay I didn't even intend to be so spot on with the Sizzy prediction. More importantly though, she won't be able to shadowhunt anymore.

Why is anyone (except Magnus (and occasionally Alec)) left in charge of anything, ever. *sigh*

But I mean, at least there's this

Small mercies (aka comedic pockets in a vast sea of illogic shit) I guess XD

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA I AM DEAD I CAN'T HAHAHAH HIS FACE!!!!!!!!!!

Jace is me, I am Jace

So.... many....... questions...............

Okay, so I'm severely confused. If this demon has info on what's happening in Edom right now, then either he left Edom after Lilith started gathering her army so there's a rift there somewhere, OR there's a way for news to travel between Edom and Earth, probably through, you guessed it, a tiny rift. So wtf, show, please explain because I don't understand.

..............................................................

The audacity. The fucking audacity. MAGNUS WILL BE DEAD, IS WHAT YOU SHOULD TAKE AWAY FROM THAT. NOT THAT THE RIFT REOPENS ARE YOU KIDDING ME WTF JACE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT I EVEN CURSED EXPLICITLY I NEVER DO THAT WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Wow. Alec, can you please punch him?

Don't get me wrong. They're shadowhunters, of course it is their duty to prevent this to protect the mundanes. But, delivery?! Show some worry at the prospect of the love of your parabatai's life dying??? before continuing with business as usual?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SAME CLARY, BECAUSE WTF?! I REPEAT, WTF!!!! Didn't she listen to Helen at all? It's not going to protect her, it's going to blast her to frakking pieces. Wtf how dumb is she??? Hääääääääääää?????

lol Simon, you'd just stab yourself in the eye with it XD But I appreciate the sentiment XD

I AM THIS CLOSE TO JUST, RECORD MY LAUGHTER BECAUSE I'M DYYYYYING OVER HERE OKAY HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA Also he should call Maia, because life as a werewolf suxx way less than life as a vampire. Then again, IMMORTAL HUSBANDS SIGN ME THE F UP, IMMORTAL ALEC WAS ENDGAME ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Okay, on a more coherent note. I LOVE this line. I was so painfully deprived of Alec throwing himself into risk and action just to protect and help Magnus during 3B that it's not even funny. So this was really awesome. But, consider this: if he really wanted to go through with it he'd have to wait like a whole day before the transformation is completed, so uhhh impracitcal.

YES. YES. PLEASE MORE OF ENRAGED ALEC SCOLDING THEM LIKE THE KIDS THEY ARE. (But, uh, ragefully running away from his sire in spe wasn't the cleverest move if he wants to go through with it immediately ahaha XD)

I mean, nice of them to contriubute. All it took was Alec (!!!!!) flipping his shit. It seems they didn't have the idea to look into something themselves. Lol I'm inclined to be with Lilith on that one, are they even worth it??? Smh.

Full disclosure, for the longest time I was sure those were burning dog shit piles XD

Can we talk about how Jonathan is at a point where he doesn't really seem to care if he lives or dies because everything is pointless to him? (Btw if I manage to actually write the epic 3x21+22 rewrite I have in mind then it'd start here.)

I mean this was smooth and all, but......? Wasn't Meliorn like, totally over Izzy? I'm meaning this in a premonition-y way, not just this line. His rekindled feelings come pretty much out of nowhere.

I get that this is the alliance rune from the books. But why the hell would she do that in this situation instead of a rune that allows Shadowhunters to survive in Edom? In which universe is alliance rune your first thought instead of resiliance rune?? Or just a plain Accio Magnus rune, ffs!!!Makes no sense.

This is epic and all, but excuse me while I roll my eyes real hard.

Also ignoring the seelie queen and her weird fetish 2.0 because who cares.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT LORENZO IS A FANBOY HAHAHAHA I BET YOU HE WILL CORNER SIMON AT SOME POINT AND BEG HIM FOR AN AUTOGRAPH HAHAHAHAHA

“As my first act on the Downworld Council...”

So you mean to tell me that from 3x02 til 3x21 actually only a week passed? Because the Downworld Council meetings are weekly scheduled??? Tf hahaha.

Hahahhahhaa I mean I totally get why he reacts that way. Also, may I ask the dreaded question: WHERE THE F IS CATARINA???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No honestly, I give up. I just. I give up.

Hahahahaha

“The angels wouldn't have given me this power if they didn't want me to use it.”

Premonition!Ralf: Ha. Hahahhahaha. Ha.

THE COMEDY WE DESERVE HAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA PERFECT!!!! Not least because it's immediately followed by

which makes it seem as if Lorenzo is complimenting Meliorn's prowess as a lover LOL

SIGH. So in 3x10 it was the portal that allowed Magnus to EASILY travel back to Earth, not Asmodeus kindly giving him a lift. So then let me ask why the hell he didn't make a portal like this in 3x20?! Did he already know he wouldn't be able to seal the rift but would have to keep it closed 24/7? Ridiculous. Also, why does Alec even ask this, since he saw Magnus use that exact same portal in 3x10.

I think you should have held frikkin hands.

HAHAHA ALEC, HONEY, WHAT WOULD YOU WRITE ANYWAY???? “We're right here, next to those withered trees. There's sand on the ground and wraiths in the sky. Everything looks red. And from here I can see that one ruin!!”

Weird Lorenzo & Alec bonding is intriguing. That's all I'm saying on the matter for now. I'm reserving judgement.

(Edit: After watching both 3x21 and 3x22 this clearly marks the point where Lorenzo's Instant Redemption Arc sets in and simultaneously comes to a close. Thanks, I hate it. Let antagonists be antagonists, dammit. At the end of the day not everyone is a goody two-shoes. That's life. UGH. Also, let me introduce my theory that while traveling between Earth and Edom Lorenzo's character was ripped from him in a severe Plot Convenience Turbulence. What a shame.)

But hell yeah to Alec's emotions running rampant and him being unable to control the magic. Another headcanon confirmed (that I didn't really knew I had, lol).

Hahahahha dude could you be any more pretentious XD XD XD

Hahahahahahaha this is the best day of my life.

Hahahaha Meliorn just got promoted to one of my favorites. Better late than never amiright.

I get this, this taking stock conversation, from a meta standpoint. But BITCH CAN YOU FOCUS ON MAGNUS FOR ONCE IN YOUR SELF-ABSORBED LIFE IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK WTF DAMMIT

Yeah, me too. Who knew demonic transformations came with a villain hairdo make over?? Nature truly is beautiful.

Me, watching: I might be totally oblivous, but did this crown always have a stripe thing on the top, too? Ralf, editing this reaction post: Yes. Yes it did. You're not as observant as you like to think. Me, reading that: .......harsh

..........do I have to understand why he isn't running away screaming? I get the instinct to wreak havoc because everything hurts and is pointless but wtf, the seelie queen is doing the exact same things Lilith did to him. Using him, only seeing him as a power source that has to be cultivated but has no feelings, no worth, and weirdly kissing him. He should, for all intents and purposes, be running for the hills. (But also, uh, neat nail polish and rings, seelie queen. You've got style.)

HAHAHAHA I mean, I already prepared two Jeliorn Dumb Comics, but this is reaching ridiculous levels XD XD XD I'm soooo here for it.

Hahahahaha XD XD XD

“Runes bubbling back, incredible” Yeah, no shit. I'm not buying. I could even largely argue my point, making references to the seelies that got “treated” in 3x17 that weren't rendered half-human-half-angel but mundane, meaning they lost their angelic part, too, meaning the serum removes angelic blood as well as demon blood. But since I couldn't care less about Luke (right now or in general? That's your guess to make) I'm not even getting worked up over it XD

Dude, you're aware this is like the perfect opening for getting a verbal diss, right?

Wow, three seconds a shadowhunter and here we are with the racist jokes again. That was quick.

Also, let me say how exceedingly ridiculous it is that Luke just walks out of there with a “No thank you” and Evil Praetor Guy does nothing against it literally because Luke said “But blackmailing me would mean you're evil ;__;”

bitch please

Look, can we appreciate this a little more? Like, a lot more??? Can I pause the episode here and stare at this for half an hour or something????? Alec saying he's willing to just, leave behind life as he knew it, very possibly never seeing anyone of his family again, just so he gets to stay with Magnus? I mean, that's some Major Immortal Alec Energy right there. Serve me more please.

..................wow instead I get Clary depriving me of a Malec Reunion Smooch wtf?! Uuuhhhh no thank you!!!!

AHAHAHA THAT SUFFERING FACE HAHAHAHAHA OMG AMAZING Kicked Pouting Suffering Puppy Jace <3<3<3

Btw what Jace said about Simon really gave me something to think about. I'm confused but intrigued. I like.

#shadowhunters #3x21 #magnus bane #alec lightwood #clary fray #jace wayland #simon lewis #isabelle lightwood #lorenzo rey #maia roberts #luke garroway #meliorn #the seelie queen #jonathan morgenstern #lilith #reaction

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ryttu3k · 6 years

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The Last Jedi, thoughts and comments!

Spoiler space

Space

Just in case people are reading this on mobile, you know?

Space

The short version: better than I was expecting given the spoilers, not as good as the OT, TFA, or Rogue One, better than the prequel trilogy (in my opinion). If the OT is a 10/10, TFA is 9.5/10, and Rogue One is 9/10, and my favourite of the PT (Revenge of the Sith) is 6/10, I’d put this at a solid 7.5/10.

Good Bits

Luke and Leia have a reunion. There’s no hug, but Luke does kiss her on the forehead. I cried like a baby.

Leia Leia Leia I still love her so much. She’s a much harder character but I understand where she was coming from when she was giving Poe his dressing-down. I love how even after that, she and Poe still had that wonderful rapport: “You can’t just jump in an X-Wing and blow something up!” / “Permission to jump in an X-Wing and blow something up?” “Permission granted!” The scene of her in space had me hyperventilating (and crying, yes), and even if the way she saved herself was visually a bit naff, the imagery of her fingers starting to move gave me literal chills.

Luke’s death is poignant, peaceful, and feels appropriate (given that it’s generally expected that the previous trilogy’s trio doesn’t make it to the end). Also, the visual of the binary sunset.

Related: Force ghosts Luke and Han gonna fuck Kylo uuuuup! (IMPLIED GHOST REUNION. CUE GENTLE SKYSOLO WEEPING. Look I’ve shipped it since I was twelve let me have this.)

Speaking of deaths, while I didn’t like Holdo much, her death was amazing. Like, just the silence.

Luke and Yoda’s conversation!!

And Luke and Artoo’s! The ‘watch your language’ line! THE HOLOGRAM OF LEIA! Thank you for your emotional blackmail, Artoo <3

BB-8 CONTINUES TO BE THE BEST CHARACTER. BB-8 HEADBUTTING TO VICTORY. BB-8 IN AN AT-ST. MY BELOVED ROUND CHILD I LOVE YOU.

Poe was an amazing rebel who made mistakes but was also a goddamn hero. I also loved his allies, especially Connix (Billie Lourd’s character). Go you beautiful rebels!

Rose is a delightful character and I love her dynamic with Finn and she badly needs a hug. The escape scene on Canto Bight (the casino city, the planet itself is apparently called Cantonica) was wonderful and I loved Rose’s response to it. Also the Fathiers were beautiful and I loved, loved Rose freeing them. I feel her crush on Finn may be one-sided and I don’t really want to see her hurt, but tbh I’d be happy for my OT3 to become an OT4, haha.

Related: the Finn/Rey hug made me feel Emotions. They better kiss in the next film, okay. I also love how their immediate concerns were each other - Rey’s name being the first thing Finn says after getting out of the coma, his first question being, “Where’s Rey?”, wanting to leave to ensure Rey’s safety, and also Rey telling Chewie that if he sees Finn first, then to say. Something. They just worry about each other so much my BABIES.

Speaking of shipping. Leia/Holdo. I’m just saying.

Speaking of not shipping, look let’s face it Re//ylo is not going to work :D They do have a Force Bond, yes. It’s an artificial one completely created by Snoke intended to play both of them and is not seen as healthy or natural. Rey might genuinely hope to redeem Kylo but he is not going to have it and wants to turn her instead and at the end she shuts him the fuck down and frankly that bit was very satisfying. For more, see the episode 9 section.

The action was just. Fucking cool. The Falcon to the rescue on Krait (I think it was Finn’s line, “Oh, they hate that ship!”?), Finn versus Phasma (I may have nearly bounced out of my chair in sheer glee when he rose up on the platform!! “Rebel scum.” Yes!!), the Canto Bight escape, just so many rad action scenes!

Kylo’s overkill reaction to seeing Luke. Luke just brushes off his shoulder. Badass. Kind of out of character (see below) but badass. Related: the ‘every part of that statement was wrong’ callback. Rey, you’re our only hope!

Hux gets beaten up a lot and it’s very satisfying. Also his call with Poe I was fucking dying.

Maz Kanata.

The score was beautiful. Not just the new parts, but the callbacks! Favourite callbacks include Luke and Leia’s theme during their reunion, and was that the Trench Run? It was either the Trench Run or the Death Star run from Return of the Jedi, I can’t remember off the top of my head. John Williams can do no wrong, honestly.

Porgs, Fathiers, Vulptices. They are all completely beautiful and adorable and I want to hug all of them.

Okay! Fine! I admit it! Rey and Kylo taking out Snoke and his guards together was badass!

Bad Bits

The cinema didn’t include the dedication to Carrie :-\ Unless it was at the end of the credits? Still, not cool.

Snoke remains (remained?) totally one-note and Generic Bad Guy. We know nothing about him other than He’s Bad. Like, oh good he’s dead but why was he around in the first place?

DJ as a character is completely repellent and needs a punch in the face.

Poe flirting with Rey was awkward as hell. Like excuse me FINN is the middle of the OT3, not Rey or Poe!

The heck was that scene with Rey and the mirror-images? I mean it’s visually cool, but what?

Basically the entire Resistance is dead? The entire Resistance fits in the Falcon alone? Not a single response to the distress call? Goddamn that is depressing. How do you recover from that?

No BB-8 vs BB-9E showdown! We got robbed!

JFC Kylo put some clothes on no one wants to see that. ...Okay a depressing amount of people do, but I sure as shit do not!

Okay, so probably my biggest grievance, now. Luke’s characterisation. Like, I can kind of understand, I can, but it just - feels uncharacteristic. (Also tbh the milk and fish scene was just gross. Ew, Luke, ew.) The fact that he did ultimately regain his connection to the Force and confront Kylo was wonderful, but the fact that he needed to do that in the first place was... very much questionable. I also just cannot see Luke thinking, even for a moment, that killing his sleeping nephew was in any way acceptable. Like yes he admits that it was a moment of weakness, but god, even after that, his response was to continue being harsh and pushing everyone away? Abandoning Leia? Just fucking off to some island to die? Like, that’s not my Luke. That’s not... “No. You failed, your highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.” He came good in the end but it shouldn’t have been like that in the first place.

I stand corrected. Biggest grievance: CHEWIE COOKED A PORG D:

Bits That Will Need Episode 9 To Make It Into A Coherent Narrative

So, the whole dynamic between Rey and Kylo. This is going under ‘needs episode 9′ and not ‘bad bits’ just because I think it can be handled well with a proper conclusion? So Snoke intentionally forces (haha) the Force Bond between them because he knows Kylo is weak and Rey is untrained and can’t block it. Rey comes to empathise with Kylo because she’s having such a miserable time, which honestly, uh, doesn’t speak well of Luke either, frankly. She comes to honestly feel he’s redeemable, and that bit I do feel is unrealistic considering how much she loathed him only a few days earlier, whereas he just wants to rule over the galaxy with her. Rey continues to believe he’s redeemable in the Snoke scene and Kylo promptly proves that, nope, he always has been a raging dickcanoe. And finally, when they next connect, she shuts him the fuck down. I’m interested in seeing if this will end up as Rey’s Magical Healing Boobs or whatever, or if there’s a more familial relationship (see below), or if she just gives tf up on him. Which. I wouldn’t blame her for, really! So this gets a question mark and a, “Don’t fuck this up, JJ!”

Related: Rey’s identity. Frankly, I feel the bit about her parents is misdirection and manipulation. Kylo is openly saying she is nothing and has no one and can only rely on him, that is a goddamn textbook emotional abuse tactic! And there is just too many hints that she’s a Skywalker. This is the story of Rey, Kylo, Luke, and Leia, and both Lucas and Hamill have stated explicitly that Star Wars - and specifically The Last Jedi, too!! - is the saga of the Skywalker family. Rey is just too entrenched in it to not be, and if she really is just some random, it’s frankly bad storywriting. (Also, if Rey truly is a random, how would Kylo even know?) I just don’t feel it’s over as easily as that.

Frankly the bit with the kids at the end was cheesy as hell but I’m willing to wait for two years to see where it goes.

So, tl;dr - many grievances and some parts I’m cautious over, but definitely a lot to love.

#star wars #the last jedi #long post

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ramrodd · 4 years

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Who Wrote Mark's Gospel? Part 1 of the new Mark series

COMMENTARY:

Well, if boldness in the search of Truth is what you seek, I'm the answer to your prayer at 52:47.

Cornelius, the centurion featured in Acts X, Matthew 8 and Luke 7 is the author of The Gospel According to Mark. As you know, Tertullian reports that Tiberius proposed to elevate Jesus to a legal deity status to the Senate based on intelligence he received from Pilate in Palestine. That intelligence was prepared by Cornelius as Pilate's Administrative COS. Pilate and Cornelius were both members of the Italian Cohort (aka The Praetorian Guards) and they prepared the report regarding Resurrection up the chain of command on what would be a "FLASH" message status, although the actual status was the Roman military and diplomatic language for "Tidings of Joy" regarding a military success. In Greek, that was εὐαγγελίου (aka: euangel)

Of course, as you know, the Roman Senate rejected the proposal because of their dislike of Tiberius in much the same way Moscow Mitch McConnell denied Piresident Obama a seat on SCOTUS and POTUS Pencil Prick is trying to destroy all things Obama.

Tertullian also mentions that this was the first time "Christian" was officially introduced into the common idiom in Rome. Tertullian was Roman lawyer from Carthage and a stout defender of the faith. He created the ontologyof the Trinity.

It's hard to say when this was, but we know the Jews and Gentiles on The Way first heard themselves described as "Christians' in Acts 11:25, around CE 44. Tiberius died in 37 and Pilate was recalled in 36 for reasons unknown. It's possible he was discovered as being part of the Sajanus plot and liquidated. I think he was called back to brief Tiberius this whole Resurrection thing in connection with Tiberius' proposal to the Senate regarding Jesus and then died without resolving any clear policy in regards to "Christians" and Pilate disolves into the mythos.

Cornelius, on the other hand, remained at Caesarea. This was a climax duty station for him as it was and it is not unlikely that he was retired by the time Peter catches up with him in CE 40, but I think it is more likely he continued to serve as the Administrative chief of the governor's staff in Caesarea until Paul shows up in 59 and Luke has a chance to interview both him and Peter in regards to the creation the Gospel According to Mark.

Before the Gospel According to Mark, there was the Q source and before it became the Q source, it was a routine military intelligence surveillance file on a potential insurgent that appeared above the Roman military horizon when He was baptized. A great deal of the pericopes in Mark that suggest an eyewitness (as you point out in your own commentary) was reported by the Roman spy system before Jesus was arrested and has NO oral tradition content Bart Ehrman likes to cite in his sophistry. It's police blotter data collected along a rigid military timeline. Your apologetics are really pretty weak shit when people like Richard Carrier and Richard Dawson are able to basically debate any Solo Scriptura pilgrim to a draw.

Jesus is exactly who He says He is but your apologetics concedes that the Gospel narrative is basically a fairy-tale you really, really want to be able to demonstrate logically is true. Part of my Christian commission is to convince people like you that the entire Bible is like Sgt, Joe Friday on Dragnet: Just the Facts, Ma'am. Another part is to promote the Holy Ghost as a capitalist tool and the quickest solution to global warming, thanks to NOAH and the Weather Channel.

But that's a story for another day.

The connection you make between Jesus walking on the water and Job is very important in understanding the sublime natue of the literature of the Bible in constrast to the arid wasteland of the post-modern dialectical deconstruction historical methods of the Solo Scriptura business model of Pro-Life Evangelical spiritual warriors and Campus Crusade for Christ survivors.

The Book of Job existed before Moses had a jock strap and it sets the Bible as an epic narrative in motion that comes to its dramatic climax at John 11:35, when the sin-debt of the human condition came due and Jesus realized He had lost the wager He had made with The Satan in the Wilderness that He could free the Children of Moses from the chains of the Talmud with argument and logic. Mark 15:34 is a literary bankshot into the Book of Job.

As Tertullian points out, John Mark is the publisher of The Gospel According to Mark. He establishes the first Christian publishing house in Alexandria and mass produces manuscripts of anything that came out of Alexandria before 400. Dan wallace observes that 90% of the manuscripts we can currently inventory came out of Alexandria. John Mark was always known by the pet name Jesus called him as "the Beloved Disciple". John Mark is the young man who runs away naked in Gethsemane and he is also and editor and constributor to the larger narrative (Mark 7:19: parenthetical phrase; Mark 15:27; and Mark 16:9 - 20). John Mark is also the author of The Gospel of John, which Pappias had encouraged him to compose to capture Peter's experiences.

The Gospel of John is a companion narrative to The Gospel According to Mark and provides the nature of the argument and logic Jesus expected to free the Children of Moses from the chains of the Talmud. It has a very flexible timeline that begins at the same point as Cornelius in the Q source, but the marriage at Cana is the first time he meets Jesus and becomes the Beloved Disciple. There is a certain ambiguous quality to the relationship between Jesus and the Beloved Disciple/John Mark that could be misconstrued as homoerotic in nature, but Jesus died a virgin.

If John 4 is any indication, Jesus (and the Holy Spirit) had a number of Love Children everywhere He went. The woman with the chronic flow in Mark 5:25 blind-sides Jesus because He has no carnal knowledge of woman qua woman. In this, He is a very typical Jew, in this regards, and all that plumbing hit Him in some spiritual blind side that sucked the Spirit of the Lord out of Him and fixed her parts. After that, Jesus may have made any number of women pregnant by immaculate conception, such as the Samaritan woman at Jacob's Well, a pericope with an obvious allusion to Tamar and Judah. And it is possible that John Mark is one of these Love Children Jesus sowed with John Mark's mother, Mary of Jerusalem who own the Upper Room.

The narratives of Mark and John converge, chronologically at the feeding of the 5000 in Chapter 5 of both books and then again at Chapter 11 with a final convergence at the Cross with the other two Gospels.

The Gospel According to Mark is a result of the debriefing Cornelius conducted with Peter in Acts X and become a follow-up intelligence report about the Christians and Jesus up the chain of command to Theophilus in the Praetorian Guards. For clarity, I assume that Theophilus is the author of Hebrews and has a role in the Emperor's intelligence services similar to George Smiley in MI6: the desk officer for a certain intelligence porfolio and strategic intelligence project: the idea of Resurrection never occurred to the Romans: it is a purely Jewish concept. along with the Jewish notion that history was going someplace. It turns out the common denominator between the republican experiment in secular government and Jesus is Melchizedek by way of Socrates.

But this the important thing; The Gospel According to Mark wasn't written in Rome for a Roman audience by John Mark, but in Caesarea by a Roman centurion as a part of his professional responsibilities for his superiors in the Praetorian Guards in Rome. Bart Ehrman is exactly correct: Cornelius really didn't know much about Jewish matters: he had never been to a Seder, for example, and he knew just enough not to force Jesus to become unclean by entering his home, but Romans and Jews didn't mix that much in Jerusalem except at the whore houses/taverns that inevitably sprout around military occupation garrisons. Personally, as a combat veteran, I am far more comfortable with the publicans and sinners than the saints and self-righteous of the MAGA hat nation.

I'm an Army brat. I was raised by centurions and grew up, preparing to become one, myself. I've had a working relationship with the Holy Ghost since 1954 and, as I say, he and I are working on a project to remove the log from your eye in regards to the author of the Gospel According to Mark so that the Truth of the Cross becomes a moral certainty: the object of the exercise from Genesis 1:1 to Mark 15:39 is to validate the God Hypothesis.

The Gospel According to Mark was being written when John the Baptist still had his head before CE 29. Before the Cross came the Q source. The reason why no other gospels are contained in the Canon is because they had no access to the Q source: it was entirely an intellectual property of the Praetorian Guards.

Here's one last thing to consider: The Gospel According to Mark employs εὐθὺς (immediately) 41 times. Mark was originally written in Latin, the language of the Roman bureaucracy and legions and the crudeness of the Greek (as I understand from qualified scholars) is a result. The use of εὐθὺς is an apparatus of the narrative and acts like a * that designates both the boundaries of Peter's testimony (Mark 1:10 and Mark 15:1) and those pericopes that are verified by multiple eye-witness sources. As Luke observes in Acts 24:22, the Romans were well informed regarding the Christians in Palestine.

And none of it has anything to do with the oral tradition. Bart Ehrman seems to mistake the Gospels for the Muslim hadiths.

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anghraine · 7 years

Text

So, my sister wanted to watch ANH, and I’m a noble and selfless big sister (:P) and agreed. It’s been ... at least a year?

Impressions this time:

- ANH is really a magnificent film, just in terms of how everything comes together and how completely balanced the different elements are. It is what it is—a fancy Western-meets-Kurosawa fairy-tale space opera—and instead of trying to ~transcend~ its origins, it embraces them and goes for executing them at peak quality. Overwhelmingly it succeeds. I think that’s really its strength among the SW movies: it’s not the most ambitious, it’s not the most creative, it’s not the most inspiring, but it is the most cleanly, evenly executed, the one that succeeds most completely and unambiguously at the kind of thing it is.

- I definitely think the TFA=ANH thing is overblown. They’re very different movies with very different characters. The only exceptions are 1) the cantina and 2) the trench run. Speaking of which, the cantina scene remains spectacular. (And the trench run! My God.)

- Rogue One fits in REALLY WELL, while also feeling like an even more profoundly dissimilar film. But it really felt like it picked up right where RO left off. Like a lot of people, I was cackling at Leia’s sheer gall in her “???? HOW DARE” at Vader. Unfortunately, the near-seamlessness had me completely convinced that RO just happened and so I was like “wow, okay, Vader just took off after Leia and Jyn and Cassian just died WAIT WAIT ABORT MISSION DIDN’T HAPPEN BYYYYE”

- I thought the criticisms of RO!Tarkin were overblown (tbh I tended to think that a lot of them tended to forget how uncanny valley Tarkin is to begin with), and that’s also only more cemented. He seemed absolutely like the same person. I also don’t think I noticed before how ... bored? he seems with a lot of it. Like, Vader thinks the Death Star is shit but is gung-ho about Doing Empire Things and Victory!!! while Tarkin tends to be more “eh.” Gets a kick out of puppy-kicking Tuesday, though.

- I know it’s been litigated to hell and back, but the SE additions are in nearly all cases very jarring. (OTOH, going back and updating the terrible 70s computer graphics would have been a very feasible choice!) Similarly, I know it’s stale and everything, but the suggested backstory does seem very different from what we get in the prequels; I kept finding myself mentally working to make it fit.

- If it’s possible, I feel even more strongly than before about how wrongwrongwrong the soft, fluffy, sunshiny!Luke* thing is. Despite his streak of fatalism, he’s also almost invariably confident—sometimes to the point of braggadocio, but in most cases in fact correct. His goals are largely heroic, but he is far and away the most purely pragmatic of the main trio. He’s incredibly naive, but also resourceful; almost all the actual ideas for what to do come from him, and in most cases in a single moment. When Han snaps that “he’s the brains,” I don’t think he’s actually being sarcastic (though obviously he’s being annoyed). Luke is the idea guy, Han is the shooting things guy (which both find frustrating on occasion). Luke combines a streak of earnest gentleness with very frequent abrasiveness. He’s very much Leia’s brother.

(...on that level.)

- Han is incredibly brash and reckless! Sometimes hilariously so. I continue to love the scene where he runs from stormtroopers only to run into WAY MORE stormtroopers and just runs away screaming. He’s interesting because he’s not at all a comic relief character, but he does actually have a lot of it. I think it contributes to his lovability.

- Threepio and Artoo’s relationship remains the cutest, omg. And how did I forget Artoo’s built-in fire extinguisher??

- HELLO WALL-E

- LEIA LEIA LEIA LEIA

- There’s a gifset about how Leia is the only person unafraid of Vader, and I actually disagree. She quite plainly is afraid of him, IMO, quite naturally in the torture scene and then when she backs into him to get away from Tarkin. She just doesn’t let it govern her will or conduct even a little bit. <3

- I remain convinced that all probability is that Vader argued against the destruction of Alderaan, though not for any heroic reasons. I also remain creeped-out by Tarkin’s behaviour towards Leia accompanied by his genuine shock that she would lie to him. Vader is just “duh????”

- I’ve also noticed it before, but it never ceases to amuse me: when Luke and Leia scream at Han about shooting in the compactor, they sound exactly the same.

- Luke is the one who thinks to shoot out the cameras in the detention center.

- Obi-Wan’s lightsaber is the proper shade of blue, but Luke’s/Anakin’s has been left at greenish for some reason.

- ROBOT IS A CANON WORD

- I also think criticisms of the Obi-Wan/Vader duel are overblown. It’s a very different style, which seems odd, but ... looks like pretty normal fencing to me? A bit slower than Vader vs Luke in ESB, but that’s what you’d expect. I definitely got the feeling that Vader was drawing it out for maximum enjoyment, lol, but could have ended it at any moment.

- I love Threepio, but I find Chewie super irritating, sorry.

- Leia and Luke are so pretty!!!!

- Han’s snark about “female advice” remains as “well, fuck you, Han” as ever. I’m also not a huge fan of him going on about how he doesn’t care about the revolution or about her, considering that he knows perfectly well that she just saw her planet wiped out. How Jyn trying to survive is worse than this is just ?????

- Nevertheless, ANH Han is by and large my favourite Han. He’s genuinely charming, while his pseudo-devil-may-care is just ... aww, here’s your YOU TRIED star. Setting the implied incest aside, the back-and-forth with Luke about Leia is super cute. I also love the “no reward is worth this,” haha, along with “either I’m going to kill her or I’m starting to like her.”

- If I didn’t know better, I would definitely have thought Harrison and Carrie’s affair was during ESB, not ANH. The UST seems much less intense here (definitely present, but in a more lowkey, adorkable sort of way).

- Luke and Leia both seem to feel this irrational, near-immediate bond. They tend to pair off and Leia flips out when he’s pulled underwater as much as Luke did when he realized she was scheduled for execution. Luke tends to back her when she’s pissed at Han or ignore it altogether. I also think it’s kind of ... sweet isn’t the word, exactly, but when Luke gives Leia the blaster to cover him while he gets his swinging cord out, he doesn’t seem to have the slightest doubt about her capabilities. And she doesn’t seem to doubt that he’ll be able to carry her with one arm across the BOTTOMLESS PIT OF DOOM.

- That’s also there in the celebration scene; with Han there’s the UST with his wink + her I’M PUTTING ON MY PRINCESS FACE NOW, while with Luke he grins at her and she grins back, like they’re kids together. (Also, I think, a reason the twin retcon—while certainly awkward at points—works more than not. It's much more about this easy natural camaraderie they have than anything else. They’re bros before they were bros!)

- Leia actually isn’t certain if the plans will show a weakness or not, which suggests 1) she wasn’t told Jyn’s full testimony, or 2) she’s not at all sure about it either.

- People generally seem to treat the Imperial Senate as a legit concern—not just Leia, but many of the Imperial officers, and Vader himself takes care to create a smokescreen to keep them from realizing what happened to Leia. The OT is not much for politics, but I suspect the abrupt dissolution of the Senate might have contributed to the expanded Rebellion of ESB and ROTJ.

- Even here, though, the Rebellion does seem very well-funded, and Han’s reward appears to be no problem at all. Also, everyone rides around on little carts.

- Luke totally knew Obi-Wan already and I am personally very doubtful that it took just a few hours or a day to get to Alderaan. Think: Leia supposedly caves about the Dantooine base right before Alderaan’s destruction (i.e., after Han&Co go into hyperspace). The Empire sends a contingent to Dantooine from Alderaan, who find and search the abandoned base, and send a report back. I definitely don’t think that’s something that in its entirety would be handled in a day.

(I always get a sense with the OT—and RO—that we’re seeing snapshots of a wider story, with plenty going on in the empty spaces that’s just not critical, or which can be inferred from what we do see. Luke’s bit with the remote is clearly not his only interaction with Obi-Wan on the trip, say; it’s just a representative bit we see that coincides with the destruction of Alderaan. I think it’s part of the reason it’s compelling in a very fannish way, even though I have very very few issues with the series as-is; normally I get really fannish about things that are super compelling but have a lot of issues I feel the need to address. SW, though, manages to provide those spaces where I want to fill in the blanks, but as a form of storytelling rather than faultlines.)

- Aww, it’s for little children! also have you noticed that one of the charred skeletons at the homestead is contorted weirdly

- I love Carrie’s low voice

- the development of Artoo and Threepio’s relationship is not something I’ve really noticed before, but I was genuinely touched this time? They’re friends, clearly, but they start out at this snappish, intolerant place and Threepio gets increasingly more and more concerned and less selfish. He manages to look devastated when Luke shouts that Artoo is down and then when he offers his own gears and circuits for Artoo, it’s just... awwwww. (Also when they ask Luke if he wants a less beat-up droid and he’s NO WE’VE BONDED. Luke <3 <3)

- Alec Guinness, whatever his private feelings, does a really great job with Obi-Wan as this shrewd, tricky mentor with a deep sense of ambivalence. I think it’s part of the reason the retcon works so well; his behaviour seems entirely credible as someone who’s lying. I also think his :| at Han is pretty hilarious? He’s just seriously?? so much of the time.

- The whole deal with the parsecs was obviously meant to be stupid bragging from Han. There’s no need for an explanation; Obi-Wan and Luke’s faces are both like “...sure, bro.”

- Even the damn summary of the title crawl on the back was like T_T

The Jedi Knights have been exterminated and the Empire rules the galaxy with an iron fist. A small group of Rebels have dared to fight back by stealing the secret plans to the Empire’s mightiest weapon, the Death Star battle station. The Emperor’s most trusted servant, Darth Vader, must find the plans and locate the hidden Rebel base. [etc]

*sob*

But, just incidentally, there is never the slightest indication given that the team of spies didn’t actually make it out of their mission or that there’s any particular tragedy around the first!!!! victory!!!!!!! They’re never explicitly pointed out, but there also isn’t any occasion for doing so; we don’t see anyone outside the purely military arm. No senators beyond Leia (who’s only there to bring the plans, and had originally intended to go to Alderaan anyway), no Mon Mothma, no operatives of any kind beyond soldiers, pilots, and commanders. It looks like they evacuated everyone else, so even if the Scarif mission had gone precisely according to plan and like 75% of them made it out, there’s no reason for them to show up in ANH anyway. But yeah, basically all we know is that the team that recovered the plans was a small and brave one affiliated with the Rebellion.

*feel free not to remind me that the sun is powerful and dangerous. this is a metaphor

#anghraine babbles #anghraine rants #/#//#///#////#/////#star wars #luke skywalker #han solo #leia skywalker organa #threepio #artoo #anakin skywalker #governor tarkin #obi wan kenobi #the skywalker twins

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