#but like this IS genuinely stressing me out. i promise im not just being careless i PROMISE. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

computerkisser · 3 years

Text

im brainstorming ideas for my chess s/i. since a lot of characters are kind of allegorical representations of things (freddie and anatoly kind of representing the spirits of their countries in the cold war era and all that), i think my s/i is gonna be sort of a representation and deconstruction of the “all girls want bad boys” trope. the real-life chess player whose career and reputation inspired tim rice to create freddie received a lot of love letters from fans crushing on his bad boy persona, and that’s a good enough reason for me to base my s/i around the phenomenon.

this turned into, like, practically a minific. tw for canon-compliant amounts of dysfunctionality and infidelity. it’s all resolved by the end, though

my s/i just wants someone cool and strong to protect them, and when they see freddie trumper, they think, that guy is cool and strong. i imagine they’d get their own song about this topic. this is midway through act one, and freddie is still feeling a serious void where florence used to be, so he accepts their attention just to see what will happen -- and, surprising both of them, they wind up falling seriously in love. it’s playful and silly, it’s him teasing them for their bad chess playing, but it’s the type of romance that would get your heart pumping as a teen reading a ya novel. meaning the first act follows the development of two starkly contrasting romances, and that freddie and anatoly are both in relationships when the curtain falls on act one.

tensions build between them as my s/i realizes that freddie is, like, genuinely toxic and it’s hurting people. but they know he has the potential to be a good person, he really does!! this is musically represented with my s/i singing their own version of pity the child, where they stress to freddie that they were that same child he was, that their careless mother let them go too, and that they didn’t turn out anything like freddie did. the song likely serves as a bit of a psychoanalysis for them too; perhaps that family environment is what drove them to go after bad boy types? it’s as much for their own sake as it is freddie’s, as they start seriously unpacking and examining the whole bad boy deal, and if it’s really what they need. hearing all this is what gets the ball rolling for freddie’s act 2 character development.

this is also around when my s/i starts to realize they like anatoly, too. they’re completely honest about this with freddie, that they like both of them. the proposition of polyamory is all but spoken, and leaves freddie to seriously sort out his sexuality and his weird, confusing feelings for the commie bastard who stole his second -- again, contributing to his character development.

their one brief interaction with anatoly makes it clear that the feeling is mutual, though neither of them dare act on it. anatoly’s already gotten into enough of a mess by cheating on his wife, he does not wanna dabble in cheatingception by cheating on his mistress too.

my s/i gets roped into the deal (no deal), because, who doesn’t? having had more time to mull over their whole bad boy thing, they suddenly don’t really like the part of anatoly that defected from his homeland for the sake of an affair, and what molokov promises them is a resolution to that. if anatoly just loses the game and goes home, he’ll be a nice, wholesome, husband and father, just what my s/i actually needs to see, right? and they fall for it, and are among the people pressuring anatoly to throw the match. around the time of talking chess, they’re doubting molokov’s logic, and freddie approaching anatoly is equally as on my s/i’s behalf as it is on freddie’s.

everything after that plays out essentially the same, though freddie and my s/i are an item, and the show ends with my s/i and anatoly being a huge “what if”. post-canon, anatoly and svetlana have a hopefully clean, respectful divorce, and he moves to the u.s. and finds my s/i and freddie, and the three of them slowly turn into a poly triad.

#also i must mention here that i SUPER ship florence and svetlana... dont worry about them post canon they have each other ^^#self ship writing #bc this turned out WAY longer than i expected hbhdfjb #ok to rb #♟ i want to talk chess [freddie and anatoly]♟#long post

5 notes · View notes

venomous-five · 4 years

Text

Who are the Five Venoms?

this is the most extreme special interest I’ve had in a while so I will. try to be as succint as possible lol

Anyway! The Venom Mob! Who are they? They were a group of five individuals who starred in kung fu movies from 1978-1982 together. In that span of five years, they made 19 movies that count as official Venom Mob movies (i.e. 3 or more of the venom mob are in starring roles)

So! Once again! WHO ARE THEY??

Well, since their first official movie all together was The Five Venoms (or Five Deadly Venoms for its western release), where they played six students of the Venom Clan and were given designated numbers, I will go down that number list to introduce them!

#1: Lu Feng

Lu Feng is part of what I call the 146 combo (Lu Feng, Phillip Kwok, Chiang Sheng), the three of whom are arguably the core of the venom mob. He starred in all but *one* of the 19 venoms movies, thirteen of which he was a bad guy.

Almost always played the villain (like, 70% of the time)

Fantastic with weapons (especially staffs!!! spears!! tridents!! variations thereof!)

imo the best actor among the Venom Mob (like, I’m talking abt his micro expressions and emotional range?)

in context ^this expression KILLS me... that’s the face of “I can’t kill my friend but I’m going to die by his hands” ;; !!! like!!! I need to lie down

also the more I think abt it the more I think it has to be seen in motion because he like. does this shaking thing with his hands and face that tears my heart out

#2: Wei Pai

This guy... doesn't really count as a venom tbh, because he later pursued dramas instead of kung fu. But I still consider him to hold the place of #2 in the venom lineup, even though I only think of the venoms as the five other guys. Just wanted to make sure you knew who #2 is even though I won't talk abt him lmfao

not actually a venom

#3: Sun Chien

Sun Chien had been making a name for himself in taekwondo way before he got into the movie business, and his skill in taekwondo really shines through in these movies (speaking as someone who does taekwondo). His characters are usually noble in nature (like... all gentle and brotherly n stuff) BUT that’s not to say he never plays villains.

his kicks are to die for

he’s like the tallest venom

Thick Eyebrows

like omg I can’t say this enough HIS KICKS!!

That’s his foot!! Behind Lu Feng’s head!!!!! im gonna eat a lemon

#4: Kuo Chui (Philip Kwok)

ok this guy is a straight up cutie imo... also!! He’s part of that 146 combo I mentioned earlier! I should probably mention now that #1, #4, and #6 all met at the Fu Sheng Opera House when they were kids/teens, so! That means all three of them have their roots in acrobatics (WHICH IS CLEAR IN THE AMAZING WORK THEY DO IN THESE MOVIES) and they have a shared history of working together! anyway anyway, Kuo Chui played the hero like... the entire time. In all of the venoms movies, including official and unofficial, he only played a villain once. (His villain role was in Chinatown Kid btw)

just like Lu Feng, is amazing with weapons

always played the hero in the movie

like the exact same height as Lu Feng (which helps them pull off some super nice looking stunts)

acrobatics!!! hot damn dude!

#5: Lo Mang

ok um first of all. muscles. like I don’t think I can stress that enough. He has the most defined muscles I’ve ever seen, and I’m pretty darn sure they’re just... like that. As a genuine martial artist (his main style was Mantis if ur wondering), I don’t think he’d be so careless as to dehydrate himself just to make his muscles visible. Like, I’m 99% sure he was just such a hard worker in his field that his muscles just.. looked like that...

muscles

is shirtless in almost every single movie. and. tbh I am not complaining lol

dies in practically every movie (I’m sorry, that’s not really spoilers that’s just fact.. he’s renowned as the venom that always dies lmao)

#6 Chiang Sheng

where do I even start. Chiang Sheng is by far my favorite venom (Kuo Chui is a close second). Among the venoms, he was definitely the best acrobat. I’d even argue that he may be the best acrobat in kung fu film (KEEP IN MIND THOUGH THAT I HAVE ONLY REALLY WATCHED VENOMS FILMS none of the others have enraptured me quite as much..) Chiang Sheng is generally the fan favorite (he has the nickname “Cutie Pie” which. is so fitting because he is SO cute), both for his looks and for his skill. He might not be the best fighter among the venoms (he’s certainly not lacking tho), but he is, in my opinion, the best performer. Every time he’s on screen my eyes are glued to him. Oh! And he’s the final piece of the 146 combo. The three of them when choreographed together are monsters.

cutest and youngest looking of the venoms (and fairly androgynous imo)

actually the oldest venom! second oldest is Kuo Chui, who is a few months younger than Chiang Sheng

best acrobat, best dodger, best at backflips etc

on that note, he’s renowned for his light style skill, which means he can move around as though he weighs nothing. sometimes he just looks like a paper plate that’s being blown around in the wind, yet he’s going exactly where he wants to go lol

he’s also. so tiny. look at this brief series of pictures (he’s on the right in each one)

..s-small.........

(anyway, I think if I go on any longer this will go from an introduction to an essay. I will have so much more to say about them in future posts; like the different movies, their different characters, the many relationships between the actors’ characters, stuff like that. Let me know if there’s anything specific you want to know more about! I can gush about these guys for a long time, and I am promising right now that I will be gushing about them. For a long time.)

#the five venoms #the five deadly venoms #venom mob #lu feng #wei pai #sun chien #kuo chui #philip kwok #lo mang #chiang sheng #kung fu #info

18 notes · View notes

illusorylove · 6 years

Text

dear ex: im still healing from you, even though I’m so madly in love now with a man who treats me better than you ever did. i know you still check my tumblr so this is something i wrote to you.

I am unsure if you care to know but since I left you, I have been doing great; I have improved with my mental health extremely. My future is bright, and it’s happy and whole. I’m in an amazing relationship with a man who treats me better than gold and loves me more than Meredith loved Derek. He reminds me every single day how exquisite I am, and is quite evident with much he treasures me. He’s everything I’ve ever needed. I feel genuine happiness for the first time in my life. I have been over our relationship for a while now- since before I officially ended us honestly, but I haven’t been able to fully heal- hence writing this.

You robbed me of the closure I deserved, especially after a year and a half- which not only shows how selfish you are, but careless. I understand you’re hurt by my leaving, but by being unable to speak, means I’ve been unable to heal fully. You cut me off and could not care less about how I feel, like I meant absolutely nothing to you; as if my voice after the abuse meant nothing to you.

I gave you my heart, even when you didn’t deserve it. You had my heart even when you would hurt me, would cause me panic attacks and when you would force my panic attacks to be made about you. I gave you my all and you traumatized me; when my boyfriend grabs my arm to hold my hand or point out a dog, I go into a panic attack remembering the times you weren’t so kind to me. The first time he laced his fingers, as his hands wrapped around my neck to kiss me I panicked and remembered the time your hands weren’t there for a very loving reason.

You played a victim. A victim of a girlfriend who left you without reason; when I shouldn’t have to need a reason. A victim of hurt, pain and suffering; when you were the abuser. A victim of being cheated on; when you were the cheater. I know you will never take responsibility for your actions, because manipulators never learn their mistakes. I for some reason have hope you will though.

I hope the next girl you ‘love’ doesn’t stay after you choke her. I hope the next girl you ‘love’ doesn’t stay after the first time you pin her to a wall malisiouly. I hope the next girl you ‘love’ doesn’t stay after you violently push her to the ground in public. I hope the next girl you ‘love’ you don’t terrorize and traumatized. I hope until you help yourself, and fix yourself, you don’t dare touch another girl.

I hope you help yourself. I hope you find and receive the help you need for your very much needed mental state. I hope you realize you don’t harm the person you love. I hope you learn to keep promises that you make. I hope you think of me and what you did and hate yourself for the rest of your life. I hope you’re in pain. I hope you truly see the type of person you are and you are ashamed of yourself. I also hope someone treats you the way you treated me, just to see how badly it kills.

I am so angry about what you did to me.

After we broke up, the pain of the relationship (not the breakup) destroyed me; even though now I wish I left sooner. I did a lot of things in which weren’t very kind to myself because I was struggling. I felt alone, lost and unheard. The relationship was toxic, it was one sided and unfair. I stayed for you, and the intense fear of hurting you, until I realized that was inevitable in leaving- it wasn’t an overnight decision. I thought about this for months and had to prepare myself for the thought of hurting you- even when you destroyed me the entire time. You broke promises and lied to me consistently; I did not deserve to be treated like dross. You caused me immense stress and self hatred, and left me with a tainted perception of what love truly is. I truly should not have felt obliged to stay and try to fix what was eradicated a long while ago, but I can no longer hold myself against that anymore.

I would like to thank you.

Thank you for the times you were not treating me like shit. Thank you for the times you were good to me. Thank you for the times you were supportive, even if that wasn’t true support and always ended up being about you in the end. Thank you for teaching me my self worth and showing me how I should not be treated. Thank you for making me a stronger person.

#dear ex #personal #very personal #abusive ex #trigger warning #tw: abuse #tw: assault #tw: violence #tw: violent ex #tw: abusive ex #abuse #violence

7 notes · View notes