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#but like if she hust took me seriously and idk actual told him to stop and got him to maybe we woukdnt have been in that situation
pneumonic-screamers
·
5 months
Text
I don't even know what wrong this time I just feel so empty
#jinx's hijinks
#like yeah today was not great
#i tried talking to my mother about how the way my brother has been treating me has been affecting me badly
#and how it doesnt help when she brushes it off
#because as much as i hate saying it the 'its just a joke' excuse doesnt work when thats all i heard when i was literally beung bullied
#to the point i wanted to dir at age 9
#like it feels so much like that
#and maybe im just sensitive. or maybe i just cant make that differentiation because of what ive experienced
#but i think menand my feelings should be taken seriously
#because i dont choose to act this way. if i could choose to not feel like this i wod
#*would
#but for some reason my mother is deadset on believing i chose to feel the way i feel
#like girl if i could choose i wouldnt be picking wanting to die because my brother wont leave me alone
#she thinks i can choose how i act when im on the verge of a meltdown
#like no om not choosing to do this i cant control it
#because everythings too much and youre son wont stop having a go at me for ever yr hing i do and he keeps making his shoes squeam and if i
#hear that sound one more time im going to get violent
#and i dont wanna do that
#but like if she hust took me seriously and idk actual told him to stop and got him to maybe we woukdnt have been in that situation
#idk
#im just not feeling like im actually a valued part of my family lately
#because it seems like im always the dramatic one and im always dissmissed because of it
#but even if i am being dramatic my feeling are still valid becaude itd still effecting me
#like i dont understand how people dont get that
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