#but its nice when someone sees one of my hyperfixations and says it reminded them of me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

v-anrouge · 1 year

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Wah okay. Idk if this is all that you need but u can always ask me if you need something else!! (〃∇〃)

My (giving) love language would have to be physical touch/quality time. I like knowing that a person is there with/for me. For receiving, I would say gift giving/quality time. All around just being able to bask in someone’s company is enjoyable to me.

For hobbies I usually enjoy reading, but I also sometimes like going out to places. I'm not a huge fan of the outdoors though, because bugs are pieces of shit and I'm also allergic as shit to pollen (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

I enjoy when people are passionate about things and feel comfortable talking about them. I like when people can talk for hours about something. I just find it cute. Also like basic things about a person such as honesty and trust. I want to know that I can depend on someone. I also want them to feel like they can tell me about anything. That's really important to me. I also enjoy when people can sometimes let me talk and are interested about what I like as well. Even if its just as simple as them taking a google search and then asking questions, I find that really nice that they took the time to try and understand what I like.

making this one but ur still on thin ice...

starting wiiiittthhh...

DEUCE he absolutely adore all the affection you show him, he is quite shy to start it because he isn't used to be shown so much love due to his past people were too intimidated to try and start anything, he always blushes and gets very nervous whenever you hug him or hold his hand or kiss his cheek but even tho he's sweating he cant contain the smile forming in his red face, it's an adorable sight, slowly he'll grow more comfortable and then he'll start to get bolder and at some point he'll even take your hand whitout nervously asking for permission and kissing your cheek out of a sudden??!?!! 🙀🙀🙀🙀 How scandalous!!

deuce adores spending as much time with you as possible, you always make him laugh and smile to much, you make him feel accepted and understood and he can't express how grateful he is to have such a supportive person in his life, as i said he's not used to dating so before he takes you in dates he'll always call his mom panicking and asking for advice mama spade finds it hilarious and she can't wait to meet you, unfortunately our dear deucey learned the hard way that u have pollen allergy 💀💀 yeah it was a mess he was crying and begging for your forgiveness he was so ashamed he wanted to disappear but you reassured him it was okay and that there was no way of him knowing so you're not mad at him

deuce has a terribke memory span so as much as he wants to he just can't focus on sitting down and reading a book by your side BUT he finds it very relaxing when he lays his head in your lap and listens to YOU reading a book, the faces he makes are very funny it's like it's his first time reading a book (well it isn't but .....let's be honest he probably doesn't read much 💀)

deuce has a hyperfixation on magical wheels, he finds them extremely interesting and he loves to talk about them to you especially because he knows you'll always pay attention and listen to him, he promises that once he grows up he'll buy a magical wheel and he'll always take you out in it he was a bit confused when you seemed nervous about speed and safety

deuce constantly gets teased by the first years and by his dorm mates because he's constantly thinking about you and it shows with how many times he'll be out shopping seeing something that remind him of you sighing dreamily and buying it, it's clear that he is head over heels absolutely silly reduced to a puddle in love with you, please treat him nicely he's a very sweet boy and he just wants to protect and make you happy

MALLEUS oh malleus?? he absolutely ADORES any type of physical affection you give him, it's not something he's used to at all so in the start he'll be really flabbergasted and even tease you about being brave to touch THE malleus draconia but when u laugh and continue walking while holding his hands he's flabbergasted again (lilia is laughing sebek is crying silver is snoring)

malleus' favorite part of the day is spending time with you, you're so sweet and caring how could he not love you??? how could anyone not love you??? malleus' is so excited to see u again and that much is clear by how he's constantly searching the halls for you, in reality only lilia notices this and he absolutely loves it

malleus gives you so many gifts it can get overwhelming, if this does happen sit him down and talk to him about slowing down the gift giving, that you appreciate all of me multiple things he gives you but that he doesn't need to give you SO MANY he'll be a bit confused and a little sad but then our dear lilia steps out of the bushes he was definitely not using to spy on u both once malleus is alone and explains to him that humans can find super expensive gifts overwhelming what a nice father ha, after that malleus starts giving you less gifts, they're still just as expensive as before sometimes even more expensive but he's hiding the extremely expensive gems in the gifts, at first u gave him a excuse because well it was a necklace but seriously malleus??? a gem inside a pair of shoes you said u liked????? sighs

malleus loves reading and now that he knows you like doing it too he started loving it even more, he loves reading a book with you and then talking about the book with you he really treasures the time he spends by your side

malleus loves talking about gargoyles, imagine how absolutely delighted he is when you show genuine interest in the topic??? this man got hit by cupids arrow again he just fell in love with you even more, please hug his absolute sopping wet pathetic cat of a dragon

other possibilities: idia, cater, epel & jack

#･͛♡̷̷̷･͛ asks ‧ֺ․۬‧˖⁀➷#･͛♡̷̷̷･͛ stinkies ‧ֺ․۬‧˖𑁤 #=͟͟͞♡ my deity ˖˚⊹=͟͟͞ ͟͟͞͞➳#･͛♡̷̷̷･͛ raccoonpid ‧ֺ․۬‧˖‿➹

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hyperfixatinglove · 2 years

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3, 4, 7 & 13 for the meta questions? The f/o is your pick 💕

Aiden meta go brrr

3. describe the first time you watched/played/read your f/o’s source content.

It was like having a specimen under microscope lmao. I wanted to closely study Aiden's psyche and how he operated, why he did what he did, where his actions and thoughts come from, why there was such dissonance between his actions, words vs others. It was interesting to see him associate with Clara and T-Bone while still being apart and isolated from them to see him embrace the vigilante persona he created in rather disturbing end monologue.

I found wat//ch dogs to be interesting subversion of typical realistic superhero story and the motion that in order to have protagonist they must be good as person. Aiden is NOT good person, not by long shot. But you might understand why he does what he does, why he thinks how he thinks. I just loved how in this game protagonist doesn't mean morally good. I think we need more video game protagonists like Aiden.

Anyway seems like I went off again abt Aiden specifically while I meant to explain abt his source.

I do remember being annoyed how little hacking there was in main story. Personally my favorite quests in the game are ones involving sneaking and hacking and take downs. But the game has far, far FAR too many car chases, especially police chases or chasing after someone for story reasons. Those were frustrating and not particularly interesting missions.

I remember being in awe of the way profiler works, the app Aiden has that allows him to know intimate details abt npc's in game world. My favorite aspect of the game, just walk down a street and get all kinds of info tragic or funny.

I tend to watch walkthrough on yt first in order to determine should I buy a game - because I need to know what kind of shit I get myself into, such as is there club scene = annoying flickering lights, colors etc or is there possibly frustrating missions. That's what I did for Aiden's source too, when I got sudden hyperfixation and interest in Aiden as character that I never had before.

The story was meh I have to say, but I tend to overlook or forgive a lot if I enjoy characters or you give me crumbs of interesting story (without delving deep into it) and that happened here as well. Majority of the game is spend trying to find Nicky, Aiden's sister because Damien, his former partner kidnapped her bc he's super petty "boohoo my ex partner doesn't want to team up anymore" tantrum. Damien reminded me of Rais from Kyle's game, stereotypical, lazy depiction of villain that's simply just boring as hell. At least Iraq had some sort of presence and carried himself well even though even he is one sided.

Actually all villains in watch dogs are boring lmao. Only ones I actually liked somewhat were Iraq and Defalt and Iraq only bc he has nice banter with Aiden and unique laugh. Defalt was just this wacky, sexual humor troll hacker who I feel would've been good in sequel but they get the job done in passable way I guess.

T-Bone, Jordi and Aiden carried the whole damn game on their backs I swear. Oh and I'm still salty about Clara's death like just toss her into the wolves without any memorable scenes or presence ok.

Playing through his game myself was chore most of the time, but I kept going bc I just adore Aiden and other characters too much to give up. That and the satisfying feeling of slapping someone with a baton.

4. who was your first favorite character when you initially got into your f/o’s source content? was it your f/o from the very beginning?

I actually think my first favorite was Jordi! He just instantly establishes himself as someone who stands out and who's simply hilarious but gets shit done. I love how he just says "I called the cops" the convo is one of the best with Aiden and Jordi!

Also the "Its not the pizza guy" mission start convo but that's bc Aiden just happened to scratch his lips with him thump and I went OOOOH like a horny bitch while I just finished laughing at Jordi's antics.

Anyway Jordi is simply great! Perfect balance between wacky antics yet someone to be taken seriously.

Other candidate(s) for this were T-Bone and Tobias! T-Bone especially is so interesting (and he literally has his own DLC), he's easygoing but has lot of guilt and I'm sad we never get to any specifics abt his past as ctOS employee/creator. And something abt Tobias just caught my interest, he was friends with T-Bone and had this friendly rivalry with him and he has neat dialogue with Aiden (notice trend? I just love the contrast between Aiden vs everyone else)

I liked Clara as well, but honestly she was so underutilized it's a crime. We don't even know anything about her expect she worked with Dedsec and Quinn formerly and she's tattoo artist as well as hacker. There was opportunity to make her interesting but they just? Decided not to bc she dies? I'm still calling bullshit on it. Aiden saw the texts in Quinn's office he could've easily warned her! The game just doesn't?? Allow you to?? (Imagine AU where Aiden actually warns her and she goes underground bc she said in voice mail she's good at disappearing)

7. are there any specific scenes/chapters/moments of your f/o that you find yourself going back to revisit more often than any other?

Let's see.

I quite like visiting Aiden's interactions with Nicky (particularly mission Big Brother). Other missions include Dressed in peels (the prison in and out break), Thanks for the tip (Aiden's lines to Damien in this mission make me swoon I swear), Any mission with Bedbug (since his and Aiden's interactions are gold) also By any means necessary (Iraq & Aiden showoff is so good) and finally Ghosts of past for Nicky & Aiden goodness and No turning back because hoo boy Aiden when he crouches to watch Quinn die is holy shit great af.

Also as I noted a while ago with my Ushio ask, I like to watch stealth videos of Aiden slapping people with his baton while no one notices. Such as some missions here and there, gang missions..

I also love to watch playthrough where Aiden is as pacifistic as possible.

But as individual cutscenes go, I like watching the one where Aiden blackmails someone in prison, he's such little shit AND he's without his usual regalia so he looks so good jlsllasja

Also the scene where he rough houses Damien in Nicky's kitchen with his baton is golden hoo boy I love aggressive Aiden

Oh and the cutscene where he meets Lucky Quinn after elevator and is for a while held captive and he breaks himself free of it (and later kills Quinn but I mentioned THAT scene already)

And the scene with Jacks in the train bc Aiden is the softest he can be (or at least tries to be comforting to his nephew)

AND FINALLY the bar scene with T-Bone and Aiden is so good! And Aiden's "Hello Ray" is such good line the way he says it sdhsaidhkdak

13. do you have a favorite line your f/o has ever said?

Almost everything he has said? Ever? No?

Okay, I have to do some research!

My first personal fave is upon asked "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" his answer is poignant "I wouldn't know where to begin"

Also when he chats with Damien for first time he quips: "Your problem is I don't need you"

The line he says in the car when he drops Jacks his nephew to safe place makes me melt "When I deal with these bad guys i need you someplace safe. That's what makes me strong" I just jhjjjj ♥♥♥♥

"You did good bedbug" sjkljslljdkldsld he sounds kinda soft there?? I just kskhhk

"You took something far more valuable from me" at Iraq when he rambled abt Aiden messing up his masterpiece of blackmail job? Amazing. I have to say Iraq's answer "Motherfucker I don't even know you" is gold and it's lowkey stim of mine sjkhkahdkd make it stop

He has SO MANY good lines I'd be here all day listing ALL of my favorites.

#letters of love #vigilante

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userhobi · 3 years

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Associate your mutuals with a bts song! 1 per person! 💕💕

Hi omg thank you so much for sending me this 💗💗 i hope you’re having a nice day!

@yoongisbengaliwife - Mikrokosmos - Hi Apu i assigned you this because you got me and i got you and we shine the brightest with each other and in the darkest nights 🥺 i think we can get through anything and we guide each other in the best ways (at least you do hehe) lov youuuu 💕

@rosebowl - Serendipity - Sharika you are one of the resident jikook stans here so i think about you when i hear the “you are me, i am you” line also i think its serendipity that our mutual extends two fandoms and we found each other like this hehe 💞 @yoonglet - Best of me - Aahana i feel like you give your best in everything you do and here on tumblr. you always light up the place with your sweet comments and actions so i feel like we have the best of you (and hopefully you feel like you have the best of us) 💖

@dinamitae Home - Eva you make everyone feel at home on tumblr with your tags and youre so sweet and cute just like Jimin was in the jimmy fallon performance of this song hehe. you remember things i hyperfixate on and tag me in them which is just so nice and comforting and thats what a home should feel like! 💌

@hazeltae Outro wings - Allison, you are so incredibly nice and sweet and you put a smile on my face every time i see you on the dash and when you tag me in things that I can only compare that feeling to the feeling I get when I listen to this song. This is literally one of my top BTS songs bc of the endorphins it gives me and i had to put down the song that has a beautiful Hoseok verse at the end for us mwah. 😘

@bibillyhillsbaby - Outro: Her - Helena I just feel like i had to put down the song Namjoon wrote in 20 mins and I quote wrote very “truthfully.” i think its the truthful nature that remind me of you Helena because I feel like you’re clarity if that makes sense? you give off sweet vibes and that what we see of you is what we get (like the saying what you see is what you get) and i love that 🥺

@kithtaehyung - Winter Bear - Hi Ryen, idk if this is cheating bc it’s a solo Taehyung song.. but honestly I think it should count hehe. You give off such comforting and soft vibes which is exactly how this song makes me feel + the fact that like Tae you are so talented. Thank you for being a warm presence on the dash! 💜

@artsyjoons - Boy with Luv - Anj this song kinda lowkey gives me bollywood vibes in the way that its a love song and I just think encompasses you somehow. You are literally so sweet and cute which is what this song is exactly! 💘

@marvelousbangtan Just One Day - Crystal something about knowing Yoongi wrote this song while recovering from appendicitis and wanting someone to comfort him made me think of you 🥺 maybe its bc yoongi is one of your biases or because you make such comforting ot7 gifs that me soft 💝

#anon #answered

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thegirlfulloffandoms · 3 years

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please list the jatp characters in order of whos the biggest simp? explanations welcome but not required

Luke for me is one hundred percent biggest simp there is no question about it in my mind,he simps for music (understandly its mint and as someone with a music hyperfixation i completely get it), he simps for Julie whether she's singing or simply talking about her day,and no doubt he simps for Willie and most certainly he simps for his band (romantically or platonically that depends on the fan) the connection they have through music and personally (even if he is a little off with his helping sometimes aka: reminding the boys of their trauma in the beach scene etc).

Willie is a simp but its more a case of everyone simps for him but he doesn't simp for everyone,he is a 'dedicated simp' his simping is directed towards one person really which is Alex,like luke could play the drums shirtless and willie would say it's rad but if Alex plays the drums shirtless or in general Willie absolutely freezes up like he was just put into a vat of liquid nitrogen and absolutely bluescreens.

Alex i would put around the same league as Willie,he is less dedicated to one person i mean you can't tell me that man saw 90s boy bands and skaters and didn't completely bluescreen,that boy is a blushing baby tomato when it comes to Willie specifically though,this was a difficult choice let me tell you. Couples that simp together slay together okay.

Reggie is what i would call an unconscious simp,he's not the biggest (although the 'that was hot' scene certainly shows it) but also not the least simpy if that makes sense? The boy simps platonically,hes the kind to give compliments because he's a nice person,not because he's a simp per say,if you're hot he'll tell you in most cases. He could also be classed as a dedicated simp if you're a boggie shipper (totally not me) like have yall got eyes? have you seen young Bobby?!

Flynn is a simp but its more general (i know some might disagree on this but hear my 5'2 short ass out aight),she has her moments when it comes to the boys,'mama needs her eye candy','where have you been hiding those cute ghost boys' but quickly becomes an aquaintance/friend with them and its more like these are my friends weird band mates and the more i spend time with them the more i realise maybe friendship is a good line to draw it at (see the reggie/flynn plot that was orginally gonna be in the show). The boys over time become more like her friends annoying brothers sort of thing. Carrie might be a different story though (STAN FLARRIE)

Nick: (some of yall gonna disagree on this one i know it) that boy isn't really a simp,and the reason for that is HE IS DOING THE BARE MINIMUM A GUY SHOULD DO! he has a crush on julie i am not denying that however that boy accepts that Julie likes someone else or doesn't want to go on a date with him,although he's jelous of Luke he doesn't push about it (the flowers could be classed as that but i see that as just congratulations rather than like 'hey julie marry me im a simp for you my everglowing flower'). Nick is what a guy should be,respectful and understand goddamn boundaries when they are set.

Julie i wouldn't really class as a simp other than for luke even though it took a lot of time for them to finally connect and for her to realise that she simps for his dedication to music etc. Julie isn't a fangirl like 'oh my god luke ride off into the sunset with me on a white horse like in a cheap fantasy rom com',Julie simps for drive,for passion,looks i feel are just a bonus.

Carrie is a simp but again very much like luke's simping for music,Carrie simps for luxury and to be on top like her father,live up to Trevors legacy rather than people as such (although i bet under the surface she misses the triple threat friendship.

Bobby i've put lower down the scale because we don't know very much about him but i can imagine he,again,like Willie, was the bands awakening in the 90s,everyone simps for him but he doesn't simp for everyone,with the exception of Reggie. Bobby doesn't simp really though,he genuinely cares about people so when he offers to help it's not simping rather saving and solving (problems and saving/helping his friends not solving his friends thats just wrong broski nuh uh). Bobby in my boggie brain though defo bluescreened when Reggie first wore the black tank.

I think that's all the characters i'm going to include,please remember this is just my opinion and it's fine to disagree but don't come into my ask box being nasty and stuff because that ain't nice. Feel free to ask me though about my list and anything else.

i love a good ramble so feel free to leave more things like this in my ask!

#jatp #thegirlfulloffandoms #ask

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fukurodaze · 3 years

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hi there ! this is my first time participating in one of these events so I hope I'm doing it right 👉👈. so some fun facts about me are that

1) I cut my bangs/hair that frames my face probably every two weeks because I can't decide what style suits me best

2) I tend to hyperfixate a lot even though I know that I shouldn't

3) I work at a clothing store where people bring in their old clothes and we give them a portion of the profit after we sell it. its my first and only job and absolutely love doing it.

My favorite place in the world is the bank of a creek by mt old house. its super serene and beautiful; and completely quiet. my favorite spot was a clearing in the grass where I could set down a chair and just look at the water flow by and see the crawfish swim.

Your writing is wonderful, thank you so much kskdjcid 🥺

aaaa I forgot to ask for a scenario as well in my ask (if you don't mind 👉👈)

thank you for sending this in <3 this is the last matchup of the event! happy new year everyone!

your new year’s kiss will be...

someone who’s quite observant; he doesn’t say much but he always tells you which hairstyle he’s liked the most on you, and sees your new hyperfixations a lot

visiting you at work! he loves to see you do what you like because it just brings a simple smile on his face

accommodating with your hyperfixations, but also tries to make sure you’re open to other coping mechanisms

in the comfort of your own home, just quiet and enjoying each others’ presence

hanamaki takahiro!

there is nothing that needs to be said when the sky is clear and the grass is green and he looks at you like you’re made of the prettiest and nicest smelling flowers.

you’re sat in your chair, looking over the bank of the creek, waiting for and watching the crawfish pass idly along the current. it’s a silent sight, with wind picking up underneath your fingertips reminding you of the lighter days.

your head turns to the side, and there sits your boyfriend on an identical chair, eyes already pointed at you.

“how do you like it?” you extend your hand, motioning towards all the greenery surrounding the creek by your old house.

hanamaki nods, a satisfied expression on his face, “it’s nice. serene.”

your legs fold up, and you curl up on the chair, letting the sun bask on your skin. you start telling your boyfriend a story of some thing in some place at some point in your life that he hadn’t known of before. he laughs with every comical pause and gasps at every dramatic turn of words.

he thinks you’re beautiful - and tells you.

when your stories taper into comfortable silence, hanamaki shifts in his chair, his chin resting on the palm of his hand. this way, he’s all eyes on you.

“you’re beautiful.”

with your thighs held against your chest, you turn ninety degrees in your seat, facing the man. his hair is longer, his build is bigger, and yet his forward attitude towards you remains the way you’ve always remembered it.

“might have to double check if we know the same person you’re calling beautiful.”

he swats his hand out, “stop it. you’re hot.”

you exhale through your nose, “thanks.”

“and your hair.” he gestures lazily, calmly, yet his voice seems full of energy.

“what about it?”

“it suits you,” he states matter-of-factly.

“you say that all the time-”

“no, for real. anything suits you.”

you roll your eyes, “and what if i shave off all my hair one day?”

“i’d kiss it,” hanamaki grins cheekily, “and then rub oil on it. so it’s shiny.”

you laugh at his response, enjoying his calm presence underneath the warm sun. it’s in these times, when the world is reduced to your direct surroundings and you’re accompanied by the man you call your lover, that you fall into your romance, quietly spoken in words and in silence.

this was the last matchup for my 300 + 400 event! thank you for participating, truly <3

#atari's 300 + 400 #hanamaki x reader #haikyuu x reader

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vakarians-babe · 4 years

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Because I’m still in hyperfixation mode and I just finished replaying the og Mass Effect trilogy at midnight, have a lil essay on why Shakarian (at least how I’ve played it) breaks me every time! Essay under the cut, bc it’s longer than I ever intended lmao

I’ll start by saying I play as femShep, with the Earthborn and Sole Survivor backgrounds, as the infiltrator class (main weapon is sniper) My canon Shep is named Anais and follows much of the Paragon track. So, ME1. There’s Anais, fresh out of what she thinks is the biggest failure of her career since Akuze. Nihlus is dead and so are almost all of the colonists and Jenkins. It’s kind of raw, but she’s determined to do things her way—the ‘right’ way. No one left behind, no unnecessary sacrifices; you do what you can to save everyone, not enact an arithmetic of death. She’s a little older than Garrus (my canon is 27 at the beginning of ME1, while Garrus is 25), who is this brash, angry proponent of ‘justice’ as he sees it, and she recognizes a little bit of her own pain and her own motivations in him as he tells her how desperately he wants to take Saren down. Throughout the game, from Feros and Noveria to Virmire and Ilos, she does her best to teach him that you don’t take shortcuts. You don’t let your anger lead the direction of your scope. It’s the encounter with Dr. Saleon that really hits some of that home for Garrus, because he’s let his thirst for vengeance for /himself/ rather than justice for the victims take over, and she helps him see that. When she has to choose between Kaidan and Ashley, it destroys her, but she does it, and for once Garrus gives her a little comfort, because he sees now /why/ she never wanted to choose. By the time they’re at the final showdown on the Citadel, the two are incredibly close. Garrus respects her, Anais respects him and cares deeply for this friend. And Garrus maybe even adores her (her hair is nice and her waist is very supportive, after all) in a way that he denies.

And then Anais dies. Garrus is at CSec, working on reforms and making sure the processes are about taking care of people and trying to flush out corruption. It flashes across nearly every vidscreen in the room: SSV NORMANDY ATTACKED. COMMANDER SHEPARD LOST. Garrus has to watch, then, as Anais is lauded for a few months, and then swept under the rug. It’s like this force of nature never even existed for so many others, but not for him. Corruption continues in CSec, his efforts earn him reprimands, and it all becomes too much. He hands in his badge and goes to Omega. Builds up his band of comrades, just like Shepard. He fights for normal people, to give them better lives and to keep the bullies off their backs. Just like Shepard. But Sidonis is there, and eventually he betrays them all. Garrus, now Archangel, is devastated. He’s tried so hard to hold onto what Anais had taught him, and now, at the same age she was when she died, he’s ready for one last battle, with all of the gangs of Omega, and he doesn’t care if he dies, because there’ll be less bullies in the world and the only collateral damage will be him. He’s already lost his team, he won’t let there be anyone else left behind, no others unnecessarily sacrificed. He may be dealing in an arithmetic of death, but it’s about how many he can take out before he goes.

Instead, someone breaks through the gangs’ lines. Someone with a build and a gate and a way of sniping on the move that is so familiar to Garrus, but he can’t let himself believe it. Lots of people have dark hair and big noses (but he still remembers what she looked like, two years ago, and he knows its her even though he tells himself it’s not). But suddenly she’s there, and it’s his chance to be cool and show her how he’s grown, and she does look exactly the same up close, except for these lingering scars. When the gunship takes him down briefly, he thinks it’s ironic that now they even share facial scars.

As they catch up, Garrus starts to realize how much /he’s/ grown. They’re the same age now, he keeps reminding himself, because Anais is still 27, and two years spent as little more than cells in a lab don’t include birthdays. Anais is seeing it too, and part of her is sad, because she knows Garrus has been through so much to make him the way he is. The loss of his team hurts her. But Garrus is tougher than she expected, and he took her lessons to heart, even if he’s interpreted some of them in his own ways. As Anais feels more hopeless, pulled more deeply into Cerberus and into a way of things that she doesn’t like, she finds herself forced to be angry. To choose some of the options she might not have chosen before. Her scars are mostly healed, and the strange light has left them, but her face is still newly knitted flesh. It’s Garrus who tries to soften Anais now, because in those two years he’s gained an understanding of hope and hopelessness that he never had before.

When the chance comes to catch up with Sidonis, the two of them find themselves snapping back towards who they were that day so long ago on the Citadel. Garrus, despite his losses, is angry again. /He/ wants vengeance, though he tells himself it’s justice for his /squad/. Anais knows she can’t let him do it, because sole survivors will always blame themselves in the end, and when Sidonis is gone, only the self hate and the feelings of failure will remain. So she stops him. And when he asks her “what do you want from me, Shepard?” she shatters inside, because she realizes suddenly that somehow, she’s falling in love with him, and she knows how he feels. She felt that way on Akuze, felt that way when she faced her commanding officer, felt that way about herself when she failed her team. She wants him to stop blaming himself, but that’s so much to ask.

But he does realize that, deep down. When she looks at him with all the pain of experience, he knows in that moment that she has blamed herself for years, and it’s what she’s afraid will happen to him. It’s the start of something new for Garrus, and he finally listens to those little feelings inside him whenever he sees Anais tying up her waist-length hair, or smiling softly in the corner of the mess hall, or surreptitiously buying a new model ship or fish or hamster. They start to flirt, slowly, both of them pretending this is just a friendship with a little more when they know it isn’t.

The Batarian relay is even worse for Anais than Horizon was. She knows exactly how many people she tried to save, and who died anyway. She listened to Dr. Kenson, and it’s all her fault. But Garrus stops, he stands in front of her, and he tells her quietly that she /tried/ and she knows she has to stop pretending she only sees him as a friend, because she loves him completely. He doesn’t know when he stopped pretending to himself anymore.

The Collector Base is terrifying, for both of them. The final journey to and through the Omega Four relay is one they spend tangled up, sometimes awkward, but always right. Despite what’s coming, that time in the loft is theirs. When Anais leaves Garrus as the leader of the second squad, they both know it’s because she trusts him and his skills completely, more completely than anybody on the team, save perhaps Miranda or Tali. They both wish she didn’t have to. But they win, and they all make it out of the Suicide Mission unscathed. The goodbye is impossibly hard, but neither one of them can bring themselves to say the three words they want to say. Garrus goes back to Palaven, where he’s promoted. Anais faces her trial on Earth. They both kick themselves for the things they never said.

The final coming of the Reapers shakes Anais. She can’t help but think of Garrus, on Palaven, as the reports start drifting in while they fly to Mars. And then she finds him, on that moon, and he’s whole and he’s alive and he’s there and she wants to blurt it out (he does too). They’re both amazed afterwards by how easy it is to resume things, and by how much more open it feels. Though neither of them say anything, they know what’s changed. They know it’s really for real. They’re on more even footing now, with Anais choosing more Renegade options than she would a year ago but still trying to do what’s right, and Garrus refusing to cut corners, even though he makes hard choices. When she cures the Genophage, Garrus is in awe at how easy the decision is for her. When she saves the Geth /and/ the Quarians, Garrus doesn’t know how she /exists/. Somewhere along the way, he realizes he would die for her. And when they sneak up to the presidium roof and she misses her shot, Garrus knows she did it on purpose, because Commander Anais Shepard can hit a traveling Banshee between the eyes. Anais thinks it’s her secret and she’ll never tell him. But what she really wants is to say she loves him.

As the nightmares get worse for Anais, Garrus does what he can to make things easier. He cleans her guns for her, when she’s not looking or thinking. He brings food up to her cabin, to force her to eat when she sits there just looking at the reports from the Battlespace, watching the casualty lists scroll across the screen of her personal communicator. She always takes him on her missions, when she can. And when she comforts him about his family, he wants to come undone right there in the gun battery. He doesn’t.

They both have a feeling that one of them won’t make it out of this. Despite the numbers, despite those readiness ratings, there’s that fear. All the talk of turian/human babies and of adopting is just a blind hope for the two of them. But god, do they want that future. They want to live off of the royalties from the vids and grow old and gray and be able to remember with amazement how they once were able to barrel roll and fight Brutes without arthritis pain stopping them.

The run to the beam, that headlong, dead-out sprint, is full of panic. Anais trips more than once as she glances over her shoulder for Garrus. He grips her under her shoulders and yanks her to her feet like a ragdoll, setting her gently onto her feet each time. When the beam hits the Mako, and it rolls over in the explosion, Anais thinks she’s lost everything. The Crucible doesn’t matter if Garrus is gone, because there’s no Shepard without Vakarian. Even though he’s heavy, so much heavier than her, she drags him to the bay doors of the Normandy. And because she thinks this is the last chance, because she doesn’t know which one of them will live, she finally tells him she loves him. As he fights back tears, he says it back. And then the doors close and she’s gone.

With the Citadel so fully alien and terrifying, Anais tries to think only of him. Only of what they might name their first kid. Would they adopt? She knows that their DNA isn’t compatible. But they could always try something. Maybe they’d be Krios, for Thane, or Kaidy, for Kaidan. Standing in front of the Illusive Man, feeling the threads of indoctrination in her head, it’s the thought of returning to Garrus that lets her break free, just for a moment, to pull the trigger. It’s not enough to save Anderson. Maybe their child will be named David. With unfeeling fingers, Anais arms the Crucible. She can’t rid the world of synthetics--Edi and the Geth are just as alive as they are--but there will be no dominating the reapers. She hopes everyone will understand as she chooses Synthesis. And then she lets go. She’s sure she’s died.

But the next day, when the dust has settled somewhat, and the crew of the Normandy are gathered around their memorial wall, Garrus feels differently. It’s amazing, how when they were together and saying their goodbyes he was sure he wouldn’t see her again. But now, even when those around them are sure that Commander Shepard, /the/ Commander Shepard, is dead, he knows she’s not. She died once, after all, and that didn’t stop her. Besides, her cybernetic augmentation is designed to heal her.

And while Garrus stands there, hoping, Anais takes a breath on that wreckage.

#sorry for the feelings spam #garrus #garrus vakarian #shepard x garrus #shakarian #custom shepard #femShep #Mass Effect #Mass Effect 2 #Mass Effect 3 #Anais Shepard #literally this ended up being so long how did that happen

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bellatrixobsessed1 · 4 years

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Azula’s New Groove (Part 1)

Summary: Literally The Emperor's New Groove except it's Azula and her serving girl.

As any good story does, this one begins with a koala-sheep, a talking koala-sheep crying in the rain. A vividly silver-blue flash of lightning brightens the jungle, reminding the koala-sheep of what she has lost. Because this particular koala-sheep can not only talk, but also bend lightning. The koala-sheep knows this but has forgotten such in her overwhelming mental distress. Such turmoil is the product of a rather massive ego taking a blow twice its size.

Thunder rumbles, echoing through the trees as rain soaks the wool of the koala-sheep. The camera pans in on the pathetic creature and then it quickly pans out because, have you seen a wet koala!? Those things are horrifying. What is more horrifying is a koala that is also a sheep.

For the sake of a good story, the camera pans back in. The koala-sheep continues to weep to herself as the downpour intensifies. Beneath the jungle’s canopy and with such a heavy curtain of rain, the koala-sheep resides in the semi-dark upon a miniature island--a small hill surrounded by floodwater.

She looks up at the camera, but does not see it. She is alone. Completely and totally isolated beneath a fluttering curtain of spanish moss and dangling ivies.

But this is not where our story beings, dear readers. The story begins in a much more opulent setting. There is a montage here, but our main character isn’t much of a dancer and, despite her graceful firebending, she had tripped during its filming so the montage was cut.

And so we begin with two old women. Lo looks up at Azula. Azula who is a human being and not a very emotionally tormented koala-sheep. “Fire Lord Azula, it is time to choose your husband.”

“Every Fire Lord needs a harem.” Li adds.

Azula glowers down from her seat. As nice as a harem sounds, her options are limited to Kei Lo, Jet, Chan, Sokka, and Zuko. Azula narrows her eyes at Zuko. “Is this the line for the bathroom?” he asks.

“No.” Lo answers.

“It is the line…” Li adds.

“To be your sister’s husband.” They finish together.

Zuko’s face scrunches in disgust. “These poor men.” He shows himself out.

Azula climbs down from her perch to inspect the miscreants more closely. “I don’t like your face.” She says of Kei Lo. “You are a fuckboi, too much testosterone, and let me guess, you’ve got a good sense of humor.” She points at Jet, Chan, and Sokka in turn. She turns back to Lo and Li, “is this really all you have for me?” She doesn’t see TyLee in this group of suitors.

“Well, we could have done better.” Lo admits.

“But there was a doilie convention in the capital.” Li continues.

“We just had to attend.” Lo confesses and holds up a small, oblong doilie made of red lace.

“It will be perfect for our sacrificial alter.” Li adds.

“Your what?” Azula quirks a brow, suddenly rather intrigued.

“Our coffee table.” They say in unison.

“Red lace goes nice with polished cherrywood.” Li points out.

“And it will go wonderfully with our ritual dagg--our ruby encrusted teacups.” Lo flashes a toothless smile.

While they ramble on and on, trying to keep their occult practices a secret, it is best to show you readers our other main character. One of the several people involved in dismantling the Fire Lord’s life as she had known it.

Her name is Yoiko, some time ago she had been the servant specifically designated to hold up a bowl of cherries for the Fire Lord. That is still her job but she has been furloughed because the Fire Lord has found out that cherries aren’t supposed to make your mouth burn and your throat close up. She has yet to decide on another fruit to replace the cherries that she is allergic too. Mangos are too large and grapes are cliche.

Newly unemployed, Yoiko finds her way back to the Fire Nation palace. She clears her throat, “Excuse me. I'm here to see Fire Lord Azula. You see, this morning I received an order to…”

The guard cuts him off. “She’s waiting in her throne room. Up six flights of stairs, make three lefts, and then take another flight of stairs down one floor, grab a knife from the kitchen, hand it to Lo and Li, and…”

“I’m not here for the ritual. And I know how to get to the throne room.”

“Right, yes.” The guard replies with an awkward cough.

As Yokio passes she nearly trips over a cabbage.

“My cabbages!” He declares.

Yoiko, deciding to earn herself some virtue points so that she may look holier than thou, picks up the cabbage and hands it to the man with a kind, “here you go.” Though it might just be that she is actually a genuinely nice person.

“Thank you.” The cabbage merchant says.

“You're welcome.” Yoiko smiles. She has to smile before she speaks with Azula and finds herself unable to smile for the next week or so. “Are you okay?” She asks the merchant. “What happened?” Yoiko expects to hear a story about how the merchant had thrown off Azula’s groove. Heaven knows, she has run into quite some trouble for accidentally interrupting Azula’s very rigid daily routines.

Instead the man says, “I ran into the Avatar.” He shudders. “Evil, evil little arrow headed, ‘pacifist’, monk. And that lemur…” he shudders with a deeper chill coursing through him. “It’s beady little eyes, they stare into your soul. And have you heard its chitters, they’re like the screams of a thousand cabbages.”

Yoiko blinks, she has never heard a cabbage scream. “Well I’m going to see the Fire Lord, not the Avatar.”

“Don’t look into its eyes!”

“I’ve looked into her eyes before.” Yoiko shrugs. “Several times. Most of the time they’re all judgemental and…”

“No! Not the Fire Lord’s! The lemur’s!”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Do you need help collecting the rest of your cabbages? I have a few minutes before I need to speak with the Fire Lord.” Yoiko offers.

Azula finds her never ending supply of kindness rather appalling. She does not see this small act of kindness, but she senses it. She senses it and it chills her to the core. But nothing is more chilling than our next character.

“And what brings you to the palace?” Zhao asks.

“Well, your highness, I mean...wait, what is your title?” Asks the peasant.

Zhao scowls. A scowl that Azula has long since grown to resent. She looks upon it as she enters the throne room, her throne room. It is a hideous scowl that nearly draw attention away from his obnoxiously groomed sideburns and his collection of wrinkles. Admiral Zhao potantly reminds Azula that man is descended from monkeys. What is more is that the man looks like a corpse. He has the pallor and droopy eyes of one. Next to him stands former Fire Lord Ozai. He had lost to Aang during Sozin’s comet while Azula had won her Agni Kai. Fully anticipating to beat a twelve year old marshmallow of a boy, Ozai had handed his daughter his former title. Decidedly, if he couldn’t manage to beat a twelve year old, he is not fit to run the Fire Nation. So Azula had kept the title for herself and her father could do nothing about it save for snarl at her and remind her that the Avatar will come to dethrone her shortly and put Zuko on the throne. What Ozai is unaware of is that Zuzu does not want the throne, he has a musical career to think about and she has already made a deal with the Avatar to keep him from being a pest.

Azula has noticed that her father, brimming with resentment, has suddenly grown rather fond of Zhao. Zhao who goes through right hand men like Zuko goes through hyperfixations. Azula imagines that Ozai will be tossed aside by the time Zuko finishes his mumble rap obsession.

Azula looks from Zhao to the peasant that he is currently quarreling with.

“But I need food and shelter, I have six children!”

This is the kind of dispute that is usually brought to Azula so that she may dismiss the needy man. Instead, Zhao steals what should have been her line, “you should have thought of that before you became peasants!” He adds a devilish chuckle for good measure before dismissing the man.

“Peasants are tiresome.” Azula remarks, “it’s a shame you don’t have someone else to deal with them, right?”

“Absolutely correct!” Zhao agrees.

Azula clears her throat. “That would be me, Zhao. Your Fire Lord. The one who gets to call people peasants.”

Zhao cuts her a nervous glance. “Right, yes, your majesty.” But Azula has heard more than enough. “You see, it isn’t such a big deal, I was just trying to, ah, free up your busy schedule, so you can go out and have fun with your friends.”

Azula’s eyes narrow. “I like my busy schedule and this is fun for me. There is nothing funner than telling peasants that their needs mean nothing and that their gods can’t protect them from me.” She leaves out that she no longer has friends.

One of Azula’s servants emerges, “Yoiko is here to speak with you.”

“Lovely.” She smiles. This is the very peasant she has been hoping to terrorize. “And you can show yourself out, you are fired!” She holds her chin up and folds her arms over her chest. She has banished far too many people, so this time she will settle for only firing Zhao. Her eyes narrow further as she recalls that she had banished Lo. And further still when she recalls that Zhao is supposed to be dead. She squints at the man; yes he is supposed to be dead. That might explain why he looks like something ten years deceased.

Yes, she has made the right decision in firing him.

“But, princes--Fire Lord Azula, I have been more than loyal to the Fire Nation for decades…”

She thinks that it might have been a few centuries. She looks upon that appalling face, yes definitely centuries.

“I even destroyed the moon…”

“In other words, you have had your moment of glory, it is time to show yourself out.” She looks upon her throne. “You’re even sitting on my throne!”

“I was just keeping it warm for you!”

Azula scowls for nothing is worse than sitting upon a chair that radiates the warmth of someone else’s buttocks. She thinks that this warrants banishment but she is in a merciful mood. “Go on, get out, I’ve got peasant matters to deal with.”

Perhaps she would have banished him if she had known what was to come.

#Avatar The Last Airbender #Azula #Ozai #Zhao #Fanfiction

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spaceysp · 3 years

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Saying random stuff to feed into the hyperfixations; pick one of these statements to rant about because I wanna read :)) if u want,

How skeppy must feel with everyone meeting up cause BaD JUST COME ON ,

Opinions on bad planning to take skeppy to dinner and all that jazz ,

Skeppys newest video on the skep channel where bad and skeppy are surprisingly sweet to eachother (and how lately in general bad has been less angee with him) ,

Literally the whole discount skeppy situation , bad being literally in love,

Ride with U,,,,,hetero,,,,explanation,,,, anywhere?

ANONNNNN I OWE YOU MY LIFE ILY

im literally going to talk about all of these so im sorry but read more at your own risk

one: skeppy, i am so sorry a mf does this to you. but seriously, i can only think of a few reasons (that dont sound entirely made for fanfic) that bad keeps putting off meeting skeppy

1. (the most unlikely) theyve already met and they keep the bit going so the fans dont find out. i can get that they wouldnt want to tell at first because its their own business, but i seriously doubt they would wait very long to confirm it, because ppl honestly can put a lot of pressure and hype on the meetup (esp with skeppy’s “surprise”) so i think theyd release something just so everyone knew that it finally happened! they didnt lie!

2. bad just doesnt want to meet skeppy (actually nvm this is the most unlikely)

bad seems to be genuinely excited to meet skeppy, even claiming skeppys the one to keep putting it off, not him (which skeppy immediately disproved but) and saying over and over he wants to meet up with him, but always avoiding actually making plans (every single tweet about the meetup) so its clear he does want to meet skeppy eventually, which makes trying to figure out why he wont even harder

3. its not the right time/ waiting for a specific date

leading up to this, i was thinking that there was a pretty good chance theyd meet up on their anniversary, but that never happened rip. the issue is with this is that they guaranteed they would meet up before the end of the year, and at this point theres only one “event” left, but they still dont seem to have any plans to meet. if bad was waiting for the perfect time to do it, why not just tell skeppy to confirm a meetup date? it would get him (and maybe the fans, if they told them) off his back. another variant of this is that there is a set date, but they havent told the public, but again, skeppy seems to be just as much in the dark about this as everyone else

4. health issues

bads apparently been feeling pretty under the weather lately, with his arm and kidney stones, its very plausible (and reccomended, imo) that bad doesnt want to travel when hes having these problems. of course, skeppy could visit, but he could either not want to spend their time together sick or the plans they have could also be too straining. i think this is probably one of the most likely atm, go see a doctor bbh im begging you

5. bads nervous

this is also one of the more plausible to me. for whatever reason, bads just anxious about it, whether it wont be the same as talking online, or be super awkward or whatever, he could just keep putting it off for that (its still weird and kinda doesnt make sense but in a more realistic way this time)

i know i totally went off track but this brings me to my point, skeppys kinda just waiting for bads confirmation at this point, so seeing his friends have fun meeting up is probably just lowkey depressing and i could see him using it as more the reason they should meet up. really the only thing he can do in this situation(at least, as far as i can tell) is what he has been doing, annoy bad about it or he take advantage of bads jealousy and meet up with someone else. the other option is to randomly come to his house, but it doesnt seem like skeppy is gonna do that, maybe to respect his boundaries? if he was planning on it i think he wouldve done it by now

OKAY NUMBER TWO LETS GO

this kinda ties into my point in the “reasons why bad wont meet skeppy” thing, that bad seems really excited to meet him yet still wont?? its clear he really values any time spent with skeppy, but he also make sure skeppys having a good time too! that why he never does any actual work with skeppy around (i.e. building statues or gathering materials for such), he knows its boring so instead theyll wander around the server telling stupid stories or punching each other off stairs for 20 minutes. im sure itll be the same irl, he mentioned wanting to meet somewhere like a nature reserve or amusement park, probably to make sure theres never a dull moment or time wasted. dinner seems much more low-key, and i wouldnt be surprised if bad just wanted to have an excuse to try and impress him with a nice totally-platonic date

NUMbeR tHree *airhorns*

they really do be the best of friends! ive noticed that skeppys def been trying to halt arguments fairly quickly now, saying a lot to appease bad and move on, and while bad seems to like to start fights for fun, hes also been a lot more chill lately, im guessing because hes been oh-so desperately missing skeppy and big s was also in Baby mode (aka if bad disagreed with him hed probably just cry until he got his way((sand))) i think that vid just showed them being a lot more natural and happy to talk (plus bad usually is more argumentative when theyre competing, while in that vid they were either just hanging out or working towards a common goal)

n u m b e r f o u r

where to even BEGIN with discount skeppy. well, bad actually first came up this idea a few months ago, in either july or august on an idots smp stream when he crafted an ‘artificial skeppy’ in his snack shack that he could talk to whenever skeppy was gone. as we all know idots smp is now rip, but the idea of replacement skeppys remained, just this time they can talk and also ship skephalo. it actually seemed like more of puffys idea at first when she put on skeppys skin as a joke, which bad didnt like the first few times, but when she brought it up again he actually requested it (missing skeppy brainrot 🤔?) this could be either cuz bad wanted to bait some shippers so gave in or he thought it was a pretty funny bit so went along with it (or he actually missed skeppy that much.. surely not ??) either way i think we can agree puffy is not only a comedic genius but a top tier friend and slight wingman, and getting some good jealous skeppy content out of it is also top tier. in conclusion, love and appreciate discount skeppy, badboyhalo has only skeppy on his brain and his friends have to deal with that, hoes (skeppy) mad even though the whole bit is how much bbh is into him

NUMBER FIVE im really doing all of them

What, can be said, about ride with u. GODDAMN. im not tryna insinuate anything, but if someone told me that song reminded them of me i would have no choice but to marry them immediately. i really really want someone to ask bad what songs remind him of any of his other friends (dream, sapnap, george, ant, puffy, etc.) because there are three options

1. theyre just cool platonic friend songs and bad is just in love with skeppy

2. he cant think of any songs for them and bad is just In Love with skeppy

3. they have equal romantic undertones and bad is just Like That with his friends (even so i bet people would be picking out the most minute differences between the songs that make one more.. You Know than the other)

i know FOR SURe that if i was in bads position (where even the person who made the lyric video assumed they were gay in love) i wouldve curled into a ball and never made another public appearance again, but he really owned that shit, singing it and making unprompted references to it (”i already have a bonnie” YOU AINT SLICK SIR WTF)

i just wanna know if skeppys listened to it (i mean, hes surely at least heard of it, i know he wouldve seen it all over his timeline) and what he thonks about it. pls tell us big s do you also feel the love in this chilis tonight (ALSO when is someone gonna ask skeppy what song reminds him of bad. im waiting ((hed probably say something like a faster remix or something equally memey (((unless???)))

ANYWAY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ ALL OF THAT HOLY SHIT i dont wanna reread this to check for errors so it might be incoherent but again ty for letting me infodump about this it was super fun im in love with you anon

#tw caps

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blackteaaddict · 4 years

Text

lately mood has reached the floor and can’t get up. no wait. it reached the basement.

I don’t write here about what’s happening in my country (on rare occasions I complained on my sideblog) because I come to tumblr to take a break from all that shit.

but for the last few days it doesn’t help that much anymore. I smile for a while and then I slide again. I wanted to edit my fic this week but everything is so meh. and it’s not even that I’m in I hate my writing mood, I’m just tired.

and I’ll try to write it all down, I’m not sure if I‘ll use the right english words, I don’t care if somebody will want to read this, I just feel like I need to throw it out of my head somewhere, so feel free to ignore this

the past few months my mood has been one big disappointed but not surprised. I mean, it’s been like that for the past 5 years? but with every year the disappointment grows and grows.

my mood was already pretty wobbly lately from all that vicious resurgence of hate on lgbt people that came with the campaign for the presidential elections in july and didn’t stop ever since. and tumblr was a good place to cut off from that and it worked. tumblr was my better place, where I could dive into my newest hyperfixation and take a breath of fresh air, and not think all the time in what a terrible country I live in. also writing, it helped too a lot.

but since thusday it doesn’t work anymore. my beloved radio Trójka is in ruin. I lost my radio. I’ve been losing it for past 5 years, ever since the 2015 parliament elections, I’ve been losing it crumb after crumb, and for the past 7 months these crumbs turned to huge chunks.

why this hit me so hard? maybe because Trójka also used to be my better place. no matter what shit went in my life, there was always this radio, the familiar voices of the favourite presenters, the beautiful music. and it always made everything at least a little bit better. you know what they say about songs sounding better on the radio? yes, there’s some magic there. and it’s so nice to just let your favourite music presenter take your hand and lead you on the two hour long music journey.

Trójka is a national/state-owned(?) radio, the third channel of the polish radio, so it’s not independent from the government, in fact it’s extremely dependent, it means they can appoint whoever they want to be the director of this radio and they made it their mission to destroy it. it was a very special radio, created by people absolutely professional and full of passion, who gave us beautiful music and so much more, and that’s what earned them the very faithful base of listeners. i am/was(?) one of these faithful listeners. the radio presenters were the voices I grew up with and they were accompanying me all my life. it was the radio created by open minded people for other open-minded people so of course it’s no wonder the current government tries to destroy it so fiercely.

the radio has been consistently devastated for the past five years, more and more radio presenters were forced to leave. it really hurts to watch all these people being treated in such a nasty way. many spent all their adult lives working there, for many it used to be like the second home, they gave this radio all their heart and there are legends about the wonderful atmosphere of this radio in its best times. and sure, they are one of the absolute best in the country, they found jobs in other media, but it shouldn’t be like this.

the biggest crisis came in may and the scandal was too big to have right before the presidential elections so the new director of Trójka was appointed and this time it wasn’t some scum from the outside but one of the radio presenters. and he really did a lot of hard work to start rebuilding this radio. on thursday he got fired. he was aware it might end like this, he was aware he might just get used to appease the situation right before the elections. but he loved this radio so much he couldn’t give up, he had to try if there was even the tiniest bit of hope. but it was fully expected it might not last, considering what a vile bitch is the director of the whole polish radio. now there’s some new idiot director of Trójka, some radio presenters are not let into the building when they should have their programme, nobody knows what’s going on.

the radio is in a complete ruin once again, like it was in may. and I can’t see any hope there any more. this radio was created in the times of communism and somehow survived these times and lasted for many decades but nobody knows if it will survive this government. if it’s possible to rebuild it in the better times. when these better times will come.

and that’s something I can’t escape. not when Trójka was always playing in my house all my life, when it gave some rhythm to my days, to my weeks. and now almost all the programmes are gone, sometimes the management sends some lousy replacement and I hear some voices that were never there in this radio and that don’t belong there, it’s like someone broke into my house with their dirty shoes. so the radio is mostly turned off. and the silence constantly reminds. and even if I try to play some music myself it reminds me too, because all my favourite songs used to play in this radio by my favourite presenters that are not there any more and it just makes me want to cry.

and I’m gonna get better in time, I’m just mourning now probably, but for the past few days I have this overwhelming feeling like the whole world is sliding into some black hole and nothing makes sense anymore. and the whole world crumbles down with the environmental crisis and the pandemic and this country is crumbling down even more, with democracy and free media systematically destroyed (for now it’s just the national media but they surely don’t want to stop there), and people are being divided into worse and better, into the true poles and the enemies of the country (obviously I’m clearly the enemy)

I don’t really how it will all end

(and yes, I anglicized a bit my name in my blog description. mainly for aesthetics, it looked weird among all that english text, and I just changed two letters and I like how it sounds in english. but yeah also a bit because I have a complicated relationship with my country. I always had? but ever since I’m watching poland getting destroyed by the current government I feel it more and more that this country is my country?)

#personal stuff #this is long and you can feel free to ignore it #i wrote it mostly to just throw it out of my head somewhere #and maybe it will help

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wylanvenk · 4 years

Text

Alright, here we gooooo

Thanks to @uberimmortal for tagging me, I had a lot of fun coming up with answers for these 😄 Also sorry it’s been forever but I was in the middle of exam season hooray ahaha

1. Bazam! You just invented a new language! What is this language called and what is one unique aspect of this language?

My new language is called Marvaryan and its unique aspect is that only people fated to save someone’s life can speak it/ understand it. Does that make sense? Probably not.

2. What is something you like to snack on in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep and you’re five chapters away from the end of that damned story?

Alright so here’s the thing. I don´t leave my room during the night EVER, unless I’m literally dying to go to the bathroom. I’m not venturing out there in pitch dark honey, no way. And no, I´m not in fact 5 years old, shut up. So technically, no snack. If I wasn’t a chicken however, cashews :)

3. What show did you project on as an insecure youth and now fills you with shame and anxiety every time you hear it now?

Oh god that´s a hard question ahahah there’s nothing really coming to mind to be honest. Well actually probably star vs the forces of evil lmaooooo I never finished it but I was weirdly into it once upon a time and now I.....just can’t think about it.

4. Wowza! You’re such a cool person you’ve become a new deity! What are you the supreme being of?

Alright so I feel like I could give several different answers to this one ahaha but I’m going with goddess of found families. Imagine, for example, a group of people lost, alone, not fitting anywhere or just down on their luck and one of my powers would be to like twist the strings of fate a little bit to make sure all these people’s paths would cross and bam! found family. Finding the best people to “guide” together, depending on their needs and such. See what I’m getting at? Yeah. Another one that comes to mind would be something related to sleep/dreams.

5. What are some books/shows/music that you’re currently hyperfixating on so I can join you in your strange source of serotonin?

Love this question, perfect for me. Alright so I’m basically hyperfixating on the an for the game series at any given time, recently I had a nostalgic resurgence of my younger self love for the power of five by Anthony Horowitz (which literally nobody knows about). And also I’ve been getting more and more curious about the podcast The Magnus Archives, but I’m slightly reluctant to get into it because of the horror, as you may have deduced from the second question.

6. Football’s out, golf is out, every single sport is out. What new pastime takes over mundane society?

Fuck man, have you seen what’s mainly on my tumblr? Reading.

7. If you have any fic outlets (ao3, ff.net, etc) feel free to drop them bc i’m going to support the shit out of you. This is not a question. (but really only drop this if you’re comfortable ajsksk i’m not gonna twist your arm lmao)

I got nothing sorry. Although I love writing, I’m more on the reader’s side.

8. You dream of silver and gold. The silver and gold love you. You love the silver and gold. But the silver and gold are liars and they want to take everything away from you, the dirty bastards. Now, what does the silver and gold represent?

..... damn. Getting real here uh? My high expectations in friendship or any other types of relationships really :)

9. You are a strong, independent bad ass individual who loves no man! Then that stupid fairy godperson whacks you with their magical pool noodle. Now you love ONE man. Who is this man?

Ethan Nestor. A youtuber I found out thanks to quarentine and honestly all I have to say is: “not all men” you’re right, Ethan Nestor would never do this.

10. In a show of great prowess, you stole the magic pool noodle and have cured yourself of the plague of love! Mystery man is no longer a threat! What is your first use of the magic pool noodle (world peace and world domination are not! options!)

Omg did you hear? Apparently Donald Trump and all other world leaders who share his ideology have suddenly given up power and confess to all the crimes they’ve actually comitted throughout the years... They were asked why the sudden change of heart but none of them was really able to explain what caused it. How odd.

11. Some would argue memories are all that we are. These people are full of shit :) If you lost all your memories, no strings attached to anything, what do you think your instincts would have you do with your life?

Well...find out what the fuck had happened and why my head was suddenly an empty void I guess. Not gonna lie I get pretty attatched to people so this would be quite the event™ and I have no idea how I would act tbh ahahah

12. But memories are still pretty cool so thank goddess we still have ours! Read the following words: honey, dusk, cosmos. What memory does each provoke in you?

Honey: Instantly reminded of when I was little and saw The Secret Life of Bees. I remember not quite catching all of it because again, I was pretty young, but the movie really stuck with me. Dusk: dusk reminds me of one particular car trip with my parents when we were returning from my grandparent’s house, the sun was setting through the middle of the trees, even though it still wasn’t quite dusk. Cosmos: going to the planetarium when I was young and just any night outside when I stretched my neck back and fell in love with the stars all over again.

13. The last photo of a physical object (people are not objects! heh) in your camera roll is what you have to eat for the rest of your life. What is your eternal dish?

Looks like my new diet is exclusively made of dental floss. Lovely.

14. Aha! You have discovered a rare breed of snails! You have two options: become one with the snails, or destroy their evil kind forever! What do you do? And why?

I’m not sure I can handle all that slime. Bye snails.

15. Thanks to your disgustingly superb actions, you are now a famous celebrity that everyone loves! What are some things you would like your following to know about you? (make it real, lads)

I’d make a terrible celebrity first of all. But this: I love my friends with my entire heart, it takes me a while to feel confident enough to share some things about me, hate feeling like I’m annoying people or that people are angry at me, and if I’m sleep deprived I became a not very nice human being.

I tag @idnis, @fahey, @mavencalore, @ronanlyneh and @ravenclairee. Have fun!

#tagged #tag games #text #some of these questions were hardddd

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acrobaticcatfeline · 5 years

Text

Logan and His Little Bumble Bee (Single Dads AU) Chapter 4!!!

Word Count: 3643

TW: swearing, deceit, vague mentions of vague trauma, arguments, crying, unconscious projecting, one quick mention of homophobia, roman is a big nervous a lot lmk if I missed anything!!!

Notes: This was out way sooner than I expected. So I made this one revolving around Roman and Dmitri for once, because we don’t get that much and now he has thoughts and things to say!!! Anyways it starts a bit angsty but its really soft and fluffy and I love my baby gays. It’s dialogue heavy this time around, it’s almost as if my writing changes subconsciously depending on which character I am writing. Huh. I hope you enjoy it, I worked my butt off for it. Previous chapter here, first chapter here!

Summary: “you are 15 years old! Absolutely not!!!” Logan is having trouble letting Roman be himself, projecting his own bad experiences on him without realizing it. Roman and Dmitri kiss a lot because they’re really soft and really gay.

“you are 15 years old! Absolutely not!!!”

“dad people in my grade have been dating since they were 10 come on!”

“and they're irresponsible and don’t know better! Roman it is not a good idea-”

“Logan dear be rational; kids are supposed to-”

“NO!”

Everyone paused as Logan screamed. Roman had flinched and Logan winced knowing he caused it, but he couldn’t just stop at this point.

“Roman, dating this young is a bad idea, take it from me. I mean that was when I got together with mercy-”

“you can’t say that like it’s the biggest mistake you’ve made dad!!! Because… because if it was then I would have-I know it ended badly with you and her, but you were still happy at the time! You can’t just keep me from experiencing things because you're scared dad. I'm not you. I-I need to live my own life eventually, and if I don’t know how to then what am I gonna do when I'm an adult?”

“you don’t- Roman that isn't necessary to be happy, I mean look at me and Patton-”

“well maybe I don’t want to pine for someone for 9 years!!! Maybe, maybe I want to live my life now, instead of waiting in fear!!! Maybe I want my happily ever after before I settle down, maybe, for once, I want to live my life without worrying that I'm a disappointment to my parents!!! I know you don’t mean to but you just, you make everything so hard! You-you have so much, so much hope. That I'm going to be this perfect kid and I'm gonna grow up to be amazing, and its exhausting! I want to make a decision without worrying that I'm going to do wrong by you! And then mercy… mercy never saw me for me, and I always had to be perfect for her and she's gone now but I'm just so tired dad! I'm tired of trying to fit inside this perfect box that I think you have for me, I want to be a teenager, I want to date, I want to go to parties, I want to make mistakes and not cry myself to sleep thinking I've made you hate me. It’s so hard to try to make you happy all the time. I want to have a chance to just make me happy.”

Logan stared at Roman. He had been trying so hard to protect him and take care of him, and all he had been doing was overwhelming him. He had never meant to do any of it, Roman was right, but he went back through his brain and it hurt to see that he had unconsciously pushed his son onto a pedestal that was impossible to escape from. He was never disappointed in him, whether he did good or bad or made mistakes, he had always tried to show that he was proud no matter what. He felt tears welling in his eyes and saw Roman twist uncomfortably. He felt Patton's arm wrap around his shoulders, but he couldn’t stay there, his mind was racing too fast. He was catastrophizing he knew, but he couldn’t so easily stop himself. His head was knocked out of the process when Roman ran into his arms, wrapping him in a hug. He let his arms fold around his sons waist, letting a few tears fall.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry dad I just- I needed to tell you and I was going to tell you in a nicer way, a better planned way but then this happened and it all came out I'm sorry dad I didn’t mean to make you cry”

“it’s- its fine Ro. I needed to hear that from you. I'm. I'm sorry Ro I didn’t mean it. I try so hard to show that I'm always proud of you, god you have helped me so much and I've never realized that I was making you feel so pressured I'm sorry bee, I’ll try harder, I didn’t know-”

Logan’s head was buried in Roman’s chest, it was the benefit of his son growing taller than him, he could hide his tear stained face out of sight. He sniffed a bit, rubbing his eyes before letting go of him. He smiled widely at Roman.

“I was wrong to have set such impossible standards. It was wrong of me to treat you like I had a second chance at my childhood. I really, just want the best for you but-”

He took a sharp inhale and looked him in the eyes.

“but its your life. And-and if you want, if you want to date. Then, I-I support you completely. Because, because I love you Roman. So so much.”

His eyes teared up again, and he let out a choked laugh while rubbing his eyes clear. Roman smiled at him and hugged him again, thanking him profusely. At that point Virgil walked back inside. He looked at the scene, sending a questioning glance at Patton over the other two. Patton let out a small smile and shook his head, to which Virgil shrugged and went upstairs without a further thought.

“so, he was fine with it?”

“I mean he wasn’t, but I explained a few things and he's fine with it now. It took a little bit of the harsher truths to be spilled for him to understand my point, and a few tears, but yeah.”

“wow. I haven’t seen… either of you cry in my entire time knowing you.”

“yeah it doesn’t happen often. I think the last time I saw my dad cry was when he told me that mercy wasn’t coming back.”

“geez that’s a long time. And its always baffled me that I've never seen you cry; I've known you since you were 2.”

“yeah, I'm a uh, private crier. I don’t think I've cried in front of people really since I could talk.”

“fuck man how the hell did you manage that?”

“… I mean I don’t remember it, but I think it was a leftover from when I still lived with mercy.”

“what.”

“eh, it doesn’t matter.”

“no wait what? What did she do to you?”

“pfft, I just told you Vee, I don’t remember. I get vague fuzzy feelings that are sorta like if memories were feelings, but otherwise I have no idea.”

“that’s fucked up man”

“meh. Anyways back to the original topic, soooo can I get Dmitri's number?”

“oh my god.”

“oh, and you're at 75 cents.”

“shit.”

“a dollar!”

Virgil had handed over his number easily, smirking as Roman gave him a hug before dashing into his own room. Roman had immediately sent Dmitri a text, ‘hey, its Roman! Dads way more chill now so I stole your number from Virgil’ and he had responded almost immediately.

‘neat so are we gonna talk about what that was?’

‘I mean, I thought it was p straight forward, but I mean if you think we should?’

‘I mean yeah but’

Radio silence for a minute

‘but like, idk if you want this to be serious or smth like, casual. I mean I don’t care either way’

‘oh! Well something serious sounds nice!’

‘thank god I was not prepared for something casual regardless of what I said’

‘pfft, its fine tough guy’

‘if that nickname sticks you gotta use it around rem, it'll make him bug out’

‘alrighty! Tough guy~’

‘ouch yo chill it with that I'm in public’

‘pfft ur a dork Dee!’

‘I am absolutely not a whale’s penis and I'm offended you would even imply it’

‘oh my god I'm gonna break up with you’

‘nooooo don’t do that I'm too dark and mysterious to be broken up with for that’

‘dark and mysterious my butt! The only dark thing about you is your humor and the only mysterious things about you are your eyes!’

‘babe I have a reputation to keep up!’

‘guess your rep will just have to fit me in there somewhere then!’

‘god you are adorable, I gtg before you somehow make me start uwuing at my family’

‘uwu bye bye mistew dmitwi!!!’

‘god its disgusting kill it with fire’

‘love you too Dee! <3<3<3’

‘<3’

Roman set down his phone afterwards, feeling the butterflies attacking his insides like rabid animals. He changed the tab over to his YouTube and put on his headphones, listening to his curated BTS playlist, starting off with answer: love myself, bopping along and humming. He switched the tab and scrolled through Tumblr smiling at the posts about his favorite superheroes.

The next week was absolutely blissful for Roman, he alternated between sitting at his table with a few of his acquaintances who he would chat with about his hyperfixations, and with Dmitri and his friends. Virgil had a different lunch hour luckily, otherwise he would have been slightly embarrassed. But hilariously the first day he sat with Dee, his friends were caught off guard as a boy in soft pastels and stonewashed jeans sat beside Dmitri and was immediately nestled underneath his arm. There were words signed across the table and Dee would chuckle and respond which sent their eyes flying to Roman in his seat as he ate his sandwich oblivious to the reason he was being stared at, just sending kind smiles back at them.

When lunch had ended, he had stood on his toes and kissed Dee’s cheek and his friends all had the shocked looks on their faces again. He ran off to class and had forgotten about the whole interaction afterwards. He was only reminded after school through a text from Dee.

‘sorry about my friends at lunch, they're judgmental shits. I told them off but knowing them they might continue to be asshats anyways’

‘huh. Didn’t even notice. I really need to get around to fully learning sign, I have the smallest feeling that if I'm hanging out with you more it might possibly be useful.’

‘meh, if I really need you to know something and I can’t talk I’ll just text you.’

‘mmm but I still want to learn! Anyways what were they saying’

‘oh they were being dicks about your clothes and then they were being shits about me dating you, they're assholes, I only hang out with them cuz coach had everyone learn sign for me and they're the only people I can talk to during the school day’

‘oh, that’s rude! Do you want me to stop hanging out with you at lunch?’

‘no not at all, I just want you to know what you're getting into’

‘mhm!’

The next time Roman sat with them, he had sent about 8 insults to the people around the table while Dee wasn’t looking, essentially ‘fuck off you judgmental homophobic dicks’ and after that the group shut their traps about him and Dee.

The week after, Dmitri was busy almost always. There was a big game this weekend and he Remy and Virgil were always either practicing, doing schoolwork, or sleeping for the most part. He would send good morning and good night texts but that was mostly it and Roman felt dumb for missing him so much. Virgil invited him to practice after seeing him sitting around staring at his phone like a kicked dog.

He had sat on the bleachers, watching the coach drill them and them playing near their best. They had taken a rest and Dmitri had made his way up to him, a giant bottle of water in hand. He smiled and let out a croaked hello.

“oh, Dmitri when was the last time you spoke?”

He had coughed and held up a 6 on his fingers. Roman pouted and placed a kiss on his chapped lips. Dmitri waved his hand to say it isn't a problem with a smile on his face and it made Roman pout more and kiss him again, wrapping his arms around himself after. Dee ruffled his hair and went to say something when the whistle blew calling them back. He sighed and stood up, signing ‘I love you’ before rushing back to the field. Roman sat in silence, watching them play once again.

Roman was beaming. The game was today and that meant he would get Dmitri back afterwards along with Remy and Virgil. He was filled with jitters; he knows the team had been working tirelessly for the whole week and he was excited to see his friends kick the rival schools butt! He was rushing Patton out the door again, just like he was a few weeks before but for a separate reason this time.

He wasn’t expecting the time at the game to fly as quick as it did, but here he was. It was nearing the end and they weren’t very far ahead, and the worry was clear on the teams faces. And then Dmitri had the ball! The crowd roared in surprise and excitement as he weaved around the opposition. He got caught near the goal and Roman was on the edge of his seat as Dmitri kicked the ball straight into the goal. The cheers were immediate, the buzzer signaling the end of the game followed a few seconds later. Roman was up and standing at the edge of the guardrail of the bleachers jumping up and down and screaming. He raced down and met Dmitri at the entrance of the showers, looking around before tugging him off towards the underside of the bleachers. He spoke in barely restrained squeals.

“Dee I'm so proud of you!!! Oh, my goodness you did so well!!! I can’t even-”

Dmitri cut him off with a kiss, one that Roman reciprocated immediately, wrapping his arms around his neck and tilting his head as well as he could with the height difference they had when suddenly he wasn’t standing on his own feet but being held in the air from his waist. He broke the kiss with a squeak, placing his hands-on Dmitri's shoulders as he was hoisted in the air by a happy Dee. He squeaked again as he was spun around before being set on the ground. When he was steady again, he looked up at Dmitri with an amused but confused face.

“we did it”

“you did! Had you not processed that yet?”

“not really no.”

“oh, my goodness you are a dork.”

“listen if you had scored the last goal you would be a little stunned too”

“valid however-”

“oh, just shut up and kiss me again you prep”

“gladly”

“ey before you two start making out you might want to go talk to the team? They're sort of wanting to congratulate you, but you disappeared.”

Roman froze in embarrassment at his brother catching them. Dmitri just smirked and turned to face him.

“listen if any of them could get a significant other they would understand. But considering that even you haven’t gotten the nerve to ask out Remy yet, I guess they wouldn’t so I guess I should grace them with my presence, huh babe?”

“hey, fuck off my little brother didn’t need to know I like your brother!”

“oops!”

Roman giggled a bit at the blush that spread across Virgil's face. He nudged Dmitri.

“be nice honeybee. And he's right, I stole you from your festivities! We should head back over; we can be cute later”

“nonsense, that implies that you can stop being cute”

“bluhhhh that’s my brotherrrrr come on you two, be gross later”

“DMITRI THAT WAS LEGENDARY!!!”

Dee had a cocky look on his face as his teammates congratulated him, Remy running up and tackling in a hug at first sight. He chuckled wordlessly at his brother who was screaming praise at him and then dragging him into the showers. The team followed them in all continuing to shout praise and Roman contemplated following as well. He eventually just went in after about 10 minutes, finding Dmitri surrounded by his team and. He blanched and turned around a corner, hiding his face in his hands. On the other side, Dmitri sat with blue jeans and no shirt, still dripping water from his hair. He took a few big breaths before wandering back over, not trying to push past anyone and just standing where he knew Dmitri could see him. He flushed when Dmitri smiled and winked at him over the heads of his teammates, curling up in his arms and covering his face again. He whispered to himself in his hands

“gosh I'm really gay and he's unfairly pretty”

It wasn’t much longer before the group had filed out, done with the celebration, Virgil given him a nudge as he left. He walked in, seeing Dmitri finally pulling out his shirt, and Roman couldn’t help but turn away with a bit of shyness hitting him again.

“what's up Roman? You good babe?”

“mhm! You just um,”

His mouth felt dry as salt and he was wondering when that happened.

“you look nice…”

“pfft you're a nerd.”

Roman’s mind came up with several scenarios for what could happen as he stood up to kiss him. Of course, all that happened was hands around his waist as Dee leant down to give him an easier time. He still felt fuzzy but ignored it as Dmitri pulled away to put his shirt on, quickly pulling on his leather jacket on afterwards before placing a kiss on Roman’s temple and grabbing his hand.

“come on, I'm stealing you, my folks are treating the team to ice cream and pizza and they’ve been wanting to meet you.”

“wh-what? Wait you talk about me with your parents?”

“Remy sold me out day one, but yeah, they seem genuinely interested in meeting you, so I mean why not?”

“oh. Ok then. I should probably tell my dads first, but I’ll be back!”

He ran up to Logan, wrapping him in a hug before explaining everything to him and Patton. Logan looked unsure but Patton backed him up.

“Lolo, Virgil's going to be there too, and it’s not like he's going to be stranded! Plus, there's a new diner that opened a bit ago that I've been wanting to take you to!”

“…ok. You have your keys and your wallet and your phone, right?”

“yes dad!”

“…ok then. Go have fun. Let me or pat know when you are coming home.”

“ok! See you guys tonight! Love you!!!”

The party was far more calm than Roman had expected, most of the team dipping early on leaving just him and Virgil as guests. Neither could complain, they had free access to an abundance of pizza and ice cream, and they could spend uninterrupted time with the objects of their affections. Virgil and Remy had absconded upstairs playing games or something while Roman was sitting next to Dmitri and his parents.

“how long have you been dating now?”

“um, 2 weeks!”

“wow! And you two are already attached by the hip huh?”

Roman nodded as his cheeks burned. He felt his boyfriends arm snake around his waist, pulling him closer.

“oh, you two are adorable! We’ll leave you be, don’t have too much fun with him kiddo!”

Roman visibly relaxed as they left, leaning against his boyfriend and letting out a sigh. Dmitri moved his arm up, running his fingers through his hair, grinning at the purr like noise Roman made in response.

“you should stay the night”

“my dad wouldn’t let me do that unless-”

Virgil stormed down the stairs with a lovesick expression.

“Roman we’re staying the night!”

“oh! Does dad-”

“yeah don’t worry its fine they're chill!”

“what happened?”

“I-”

“BOY YOU BETTER GET BACK UP HERE AND KISS ME I'M HAVING KISS WITHDRAWL”

“let’s say me and Remy are a thing now? Gotta go!”

“…about what I was saying…”

“isn't that the best timing huh?”

“oh hush!”

“wanna head to bed? It is pretty late.”

“um, sure. But I wanted to cuddle some more…”

“who said I was gonna stop cuddling you nerd?”

“I? um uh”

“you can share a bed without it being sexual I hope you know.”

“oh! Oh yeah I totally, yeah duh, of course”

“come on babe”

Roman frowned at him rolling his eyes but followed him upstairs. He had walked into his room and grabbed some clothing before filing into the bathroom. When he came back, Roman had to confronts his gay again, as he was shirtless once again and he was talking to him and he's got to focus dammit!

“-so that’s why, also I have various pajamas in there, and I also have shirts that are probably way to big for you in there as well, take your pick.”

“oh um, I was just gonna sleep in this!”

“…yeah no. those jeans are way too form fitting to get away with sleeping in, and your shirt does not look nearly comfortable enough.”

“o-okay then I guess…”

He grabbed a pair of sleep shorts and one of his shirts and headed into the bathroom. When he came back, he immediately launched himself into his boyfriends’ arms. Dmitri giggled seeing the shirt choice, placing a quick kiss on his nose.

“nah you're a sarcastic butterfly”

“shhhhh I'm a sarcastic mothhhh”

“keep tellin yourself that precious”

Roman sputters a bit before giving up and hiding his face in Dee’s chest. Dmitri goes back to playing with Roman’s hair, and Roman leans into the touch. After a bit of time passes, he stops, and nudges Roman fully into bed.

“why’d you stop?”

“because that’s not a comfortable sleep position. Lay down prep, sleep is important.”

“but I don’t want to sleep, I want kisses”

Dmitri rolls his eyes and kisses Roman. By the time he pulls away, Roman has passed out. He laughs quietly and wraps his arms around the smaller boy, letting himself drift off as well.

Taglist: @fivebyfive-finebyfive @tacohippy56900 @analogical-mess @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @angels-and-dreams @fandomloverangel @asleepybisexual @starbucks-remy @idioticsky @ijustreallylovesanderssides @superwholocked-for-life @band-be-boss-blog @llamaly @logicality-trash @fiive-second-cookies @whats-going-on-kiddos @snowshoe-main-blog @007ardra @internetwhy @musikasworld @Sammy-is-obsessed

Let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing!!!

Thank you for reading I will see you later ladies lords and nonbinary royalty!!!

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reddeaddenial · 5 years

Note

A, G, and S for the boiiisssszzz (I'm sorry if its long setdfyguhij)

Nonono dont apologize, i loooove answering long questions like this! It really makes me think about my ocs and helps develop them more!

ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ

A: Aptitude1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

Nick has always had very quick reflexes. They most likely developed while he was pushing himself to get stronger when he was recovering from his childhood illness. Or maybe they were there all along and he finally had a healthy body to show for it. This of course carried over into him quickly being able to point and shoot, engage quickly with enemies. He’s got terrific aim, but that’s something he’s practiced with over the years.

Leo is just… Leo. He understands and learns very quickly even from a young age. He learned to read very well early in life and impressed his tutors with his quick knowledge of math. He just retains everything like a sponge. Buuut he comes off simple because of his lack of understanding of social interactions. But i think the most natural ability he has is his way of thinking strategically. He’s been beating his brothers at chess for yeaaars lol And he’s been a massive help to his old gang leader when helping plan out robberies.

Theo is a natural charmer. he’s been able to tell since he could talk who and what he can get away with by reading the situation in a room. That only got better the older he got. He became the trio’s negotiator for most things. Hell surprisingly he’s the one that knows more than one language!

2. what activities have they participated in?

I’m not really sure what this is defining as activities. So I’ll just go with the RDR2 theme of it. Target contests for sure wit Nick, I bet he’s one quite a bit of cash at those. Leo has gone and done several horse races and hasn’t done too bad there. Theo on multiple occasions has gotten an entire saloon shitfaced and basically they become big parties and everyone having a great time and Theo is gettin’ the juiciest gossip about new places and stores to rob. >:3

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

Nick it’s his aim. Before the outlaw life, they were all pretty sheltered and weren’t around lots of guns and such, so while he had the natural reflexes of a gunslinger, he hadn’t the aim. that was built up over lots of hard work and determination to protect his brother. He became pretty adept at it roughly 3 years in. He had to be, for them to survive. He also had to work to learn to cook for him and his brothers. Living on the road, they didn’t know much about food. It was a lot of trial and error, lots of food poisoning lol But now hes the best cook among the three, which isnt saying too much, but he at least knows how to season venison lol.

Leo had definitely had to work with his ability to shoot a gun, or use weapons in general. He learned the gun out of necessity thanks to Nick’s coaxing, but he’s surprisingly more comfortable throwing axes than using guns lol. He’s just just honestly the most uneasy around guns because of the business they had with their dad and the trio shooting him, even if it was on accident.

Theo had to work a lot with his knife throwing and just knives in general. He’;s got a lot of visible scars littered about his hands from a lot of failed attempts from some bullshit or another. But he’s gun a lot of dumb luck, like he’d throw a knife at an enemy and the handle hits the man instead of the blade. BUT he hit it so hard and in the back of the head, the guy goes unconscious instead lol

4. what things are they bad at?

Lol Oh man, so much. Like mentioned before, the other two boys cant cook for shit. They gotta live off of canned food or leftovers if Nick’s not around. Nick can’t patch up his own clothes, he sucks at sewing, just gets confused at what he’s looking at, one time he sewed the sleeve of his shirt completely shut, that had Theo and Leo in hysterics at his own expense. Leo as we know isn’t good with communicating well with others. He either comes off stupid or arrogant to strangers, neither is a good scenario. Theo in particular, sucks at stakeouts, or just waiting around doing nothing, he gets very fidgety and wants to talk. So he’s been forced to find ways to entertain himself with like a book or playing cats cradle

5. what is their most impressive talent?

For Nick it’s definitely his gunslinging. He’s quite proud of how well he can shoot.

For Theo, probably his medical work. He’s very quick and knows where to cute, and get you nice and buzzed on booze so it’s not too bad. He’s gone as so quickly to remove a bullet, sanitize, stitch and wrap a wound in less than ten minutes, he’s got it down to an art, it’s like removing a splinter to him lol

Leo it would be his brilliant plans. Like he may be quiet, but he is the most sly and creative of the group. I won’t go in too much detail cuz I have some great ideas he’s gonna implement in future chapters. But his brain is gonna have people go ‘well shit why havent we thought of that sooner?’ >:3c

G: Gorgeous

1. what is their most attractive external feature?

The twins like to tease that it’s Nick’s babyface and blonde hair. He just scowls and yanks them down into a headlock lmao. But honestly all the boys got those pretty ‘Teale Green’ eyes, that draw people in.

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?

Theo’s is his humor and empathy with others. Leo’s is… well I guess some people would be into the quiet listener type? Nick well… honestly he’s a bit prickly but he has some good morals underneath all that. I think the best part of his personality is standing up and protecting others I suppose. :p

3. what benefits come with being their friend?

Oh boy well basically you get the infinite protection of these three. They’re loyal to a fault and will back you up in any situation. When they bond to people, it’s family. And you treat family right. Of course with that, you gotta put up with Theo’s shenanigans, Leo desperately wanting someone else to thrash at chess, and Nick’s paranoid grumpy ass. But they’re good boys who treat their friends right. ;w;

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

Theo hates that he cares too much about what people think, he can be easily antagonized sometimes because of it. He also has his moments where he just gets into this depressive spiral about how they’ve turned into murderers and thieves and his brothers gotta shake him outa it. He does like how tall he is though, it impresses the ladies and works for a good intimidation tactic :p Leo sometimes hates how identical he and Theo are, because people mistake him for Theo and get weird about how different and quiet he acts, he gets very self conscious about it some days, but hes usually ok. But in the same thought process, its something that he also likes about himself that he and Theo are identical. Idk its a bit of a crisis for him lol

Nick has some Arthur Moods™ when it comes to himself. He looks younger and smaller compared to his brothers some days, he hates the scar on his nose, reminds him of his dear ol dad who put it there, gets kinda self conscious about it too. One thing he suppose he likes about himself is his hair. Little secret, but he keeps good care of that shit, keep it nice and soft, will sometimes tie it back too. The twins tease him on occasion but not too much, else he’ll hide it all under a hat lol

5. what parts of others do they envy?

Nick of course envies his brother’s heights a lot, envies anyone who’s taller than him really. He also just envies people who can just be so carefree even in the darkest of time. He just hyperfixates on the worst a lot.

Theo envies Nick’s ability to shoot and hunt. They’re useful skills to have as an outlaw that he just hasn’t mastered too well. But at least he’s got his knives! :) Leo envies anyone who can just speak their mind to others so easily. How can they condense all their thoughts into just a few sentences? How do they flawlessly move through unspoken social etiquette? It’s a mystery Leo wishes one day he too will understand.

S: Streets1. are they street-smart?

They definitely weren’t at first! Sheltered boys practically caged up on their father’s property, only learning about the real world after they shot the man? Yeah they had a lot of learning to do and they learned through a lot of mistake son their part. But ten years have come and gone and they’re definitely a lot more street smart now.

2. would they give money to someone on the streets?

Probably, they know how that life is like. That first year on their own was very rough on them and they sympathize with the normal poor citizens having more morals than themselves to not go robbing people like they did.

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?

Oh definitely! Sometime Theo’s placating nature just riles up people more and shit happens. But he’s got his brothers to back him up. Also on that note, someone trying to mess with Nick and Nick being the unsociable cactus that he is, makes things worse. Next thing you know, someone pulls out a knife and Nick’s curb stomping the guy who called him girly. Y’know, shit happens. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

4. has anything happened to them on the streets?

Lmao see above.

5. are they cautious when out?

They’re always cautious thanks to Nick’s incessant lectures about watching their backs and always being aware of the law.

#this was so fun omg #cometoceantrenches #ask #teale brothers #teale lore

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andreaphobia · 6 years

Text

fic: the aerodynamic properties of eggs. (HARUKA & MAKOTO)

Characters: Haruka/Makoto, Kisumi, Asahi Wordcount: ~2200

Summary:

Makoto eggs Haruka's house for a dare, then ends up asking him out.

Also on AO3.

If this was the last thing Makoto ever did, he wanted everyone to know that it was one hundred percent, without a shadow of a doubt, entirely Kisumi’s fault.

He can think of roughly a million other places he’d rather be, and a billion other things he’d rather be doing. Like... flossing, or folding his underpants. Doing his math homework. Literally anything besides standing in the middle of a dark street somewhere in his neighborhood, clutching a carton of eggs, and trying not to hyperventilate until he blacks out.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and without having to look, he knows what it says. It’s either Kisumi or Asahi, reminding him of the terms of their game. Trying to make sure he doesn’t chicken out. This is a real problem when it comes to Makoto, who is not big on rule-breaking as a whole. Without the reminder that someone out there is keeping tabs on him, he probably wouldn’t be here at all.

Fortunately for the two of them, while Makoto doesn’t make a habit of juvenile delinquency, he is susceptible to peer pressure. Which brings us to the present: Tachibana Makoto has to egg someone’s house.

Why? Because he was dared to, and Kisumi and Asashi already did: it’s as simple as that. Furthermore, neither of them got caught doing it, which raises the stakes somewhat. Now, not only does Makoto have to egg a house, he must also completely avoid detection, Mission Impossible-style. And, if he should be caught, he’s on his own—he’ll have to talk his own way out of it.

(Such are the ways of young men and the idiotic games they play with each other.)

In the first place, Makoto wonders, in increasingly growing dismay, how does one egg a house? He hasn’t the faintest idea. Oh, sure, he can make an educated guess based purely on the necessary physical logistics of it—you know, reach into carton, grasp egg firmly in hand, fling egg, repeat until someone calls the cops, and then hightail it out of there.

But it’s the other stuff that isn’t so clear. Should he stand on the sidewalk to maintain plausible deniability, or get way up close so he doesn’t miss? Would it be more efficient to try throwing the whole carton at once, and, if so, should he do it underhand or overhead? Is an airborne egg likely to retain its physical integrity as it flies, or is there a chance of, say, spontaneous egg combustion?

His phone buzzes again, insistently, and he almost drops the entire carton of eggs on his foot.

“Okay, okay, I got it already,” he mumbles, although it’s not like Kisumi or Asahi can hear him. There’s nothing else for it—he has to do it, consequences be damned.

Makoto fumbles the carton open, then stares at the contents within, immediately paralyzed by the array of choices laid out before him. Should he start with the egg in the top left corner? The one next to it? How much of an effect does the size and shape of the egg have on its aerodynamic properties? Also, does any of this even matter?

He shuts his eyes and snatches one at random, partially squishing it in his panic. This almost certainly compromises its aerodynamic properties; nevertheless, with eyes still shut, he draws his arm back over his shoulder and then flings the fistful of crushed egg in the general direction of the house. And that’s when the lights go on.

Makoto leaps several feet into the air, lets out a high-pitched whisper-scream, and actually does drop the carton of eggs on his foot. Then stumbles, and steps on them, for good measure. A shadowy figure has peeled away from the tree in the front yard, solidifying into the shape of a man. The man is holding a flashlight, the beam of which is pointed directly at Makoto’s face, blinding him.

“So,” a gruff voice says, “you’ve been egging houses on this street, have you?”

“NO!” Makoto wails, immediately. He shields his eyes, which allows him to sort of make out some of the details of the figure who’s standing in the yard pointing the flashlight at him. An adult. An older man, who looks very grumpy indeed. And not at all impressed by Makoto’s denial, either—understandably, given the egg bits dripping from his hand and the carton of broken eggs under his feet.

“A likely story,” the man says, brusquely. “Trying to play dumb even though you’ve been caught in the act, eh?” At last, he lowers the flashlight and crosses his arms, which gives Makoto’s eyes a bit of a reprieve. “Well? What do you have to say for yourself?”

Without any apparent input or engagement from his brain, Makoto’s mouth leaps into action. He babbles something only partially coherent about a dare, something about his friends doing it first and feeling like he had to and he’s really sorry he didn’t mean it he’ll never do it again he doesn’t even like eggs—

“—I see,” the man interrupts, after listening to this word vomit for a solid twenty seconds. “A dare... is that right?” He shakes his head, sighing heavily. “You know, lad, you’re about my Haruka’s age. You really ought to know better.”

Alarm bells are going off in Makoto’s head, but unfortunately his brain is still out to sea, so his mouth can no longer be stopped. It has latched on to the name ‘Haruka’ as someone who can be used as an excuse, and barrels on into oblivion, guns a-blazin’.

“Haruka—um—we—it—my friends dared me—because we’d—gone out on a date—but it didn’t—I mean—we didn’t work out—but I still—”

The man stares at him.

“You... went out with Haruka?” he asks, in a very funny tone of voice.

There’s a lengthy pause, during which Makoto’s brain labors to catch up to the conversation of the past couple of minutes. Then another one, during which he screams internally and tries to rewind time to that period of blissful ignorance, before he was aware of the words that had just come out of his own mouth.

“Uhm...” Finally, Makoto decides that—if nothing else—he can at least make his story internally consistent. (He intuits that this will probably be a mark in his favor, when he’s going up on the stand in juvie court.) “Yes...?”

It comes out sounding like a question, but fortunately the man doesn’t seem to notice. He fixes Makoto with an unreadable look, which lasts for so long that Makoto hyperfixates on the feeling of the sweat dripping down the back of his neck, and starts to panic.

Then the man switches off his flashlight, tucks it under his arm, and turns over his shoulder to bellow, “HARUKA! Get out here!”

After an excruciating minute, the porch light on the front of the house comes on, and the front door swings open. A slim figure emerges from the house wearing flip flops, trotting down the gravel pathway and then down the lawn (taking care to avoid the aborted egg splatter that only ended up making it halfway to the house).

The figure comes up next to the man, who Makoto assumes is his dad, and looks back and forth between the two of them, expressionlessly.

“...What?”

Makoto gulps. Okay, first of all, Haruka is a guy. Which—not a bad thing, but definitely a surprise. Second of all, he’s—uh—how do you say it? Oh, right—smokin’ hot. Shorter than Makoto, with dark, silky hair and blue eyes; nice wrists and cheekbones, and a tight waist that looks just the perfect size for Makoto to grab him by and carry him around. Nice mouth, too, and kinda... sexy... lips. (Even in the privacy of his own head, this thought is enough to make him blush.)

“Boy said he wants to talk to you,” Haruka’s father says, his voice gone weirdly gruff again. “I’ll—uh—leave you two to it.”

“I thought you were trying to catch the kid who was egging houses on our street.”

“Never you mind that. Just—tell me about it later, okay?”

He claps Haruka on the shoulder affectionately, then turns and heads back up into the house.

Haruka watches him leave blankly. Eventually, he turns back to Makoto. He doesn’t say anything, however, and at this point Makoto becomes acutely aware that he is still standing there with egg drippings on his hand, and is standing on a carton of eggs. (As far as good first impressions ago, he figures this probably doesn’t even make the top two hundred.)

“Uh—sorry.” Good start—but future prospects are dim. Anyway, given the fact that he’s been caught with egg on face (and hand—and shoe), he feels like he may as well be honest. What has he got to lose? “My friends dared me to egg your house, and your, um, your dad caught me. So I told him that we... er...” This part is a bit of a sticking point, but he stands firm, “...that it was because we... um... broke up.”

Haruka blinks.

“But we’ve never dated,” he points out, quite reasonably.

“You’re right, we haven’t.”

“I don’t think we’ve even met.”

“Yes, that’s true.”

With the facts of the matter confirmed, Haruka lapses back into what appears to be a thoughtful silence. Makoto is just starting to wonder if he can excuse himself to go wash the egg off his hand yet when Haruka finally speaks.

“But we need to break up anyway.”

“Uhm...” Makoto tries to think about this logically, but his brain is fried. He shrugs, instead. “I guess so? Yeah.”

Haruka nods, like it’s all starting to make sense now. “So we should go out on a date.”

“Yeah, we—wait, what? That wasn’t what I—”

Makoto’s idiot mouth is on the cusp of producing another stream of idiocy when his brain finally seizes the wheel, stopping it in its tracks before it can scuttle his chances with smokin’-hot Haruka any worse. “You... want to go out with me?”

“It only makes sense,” Haruka says—slower this time, as though he’s talking to a moron, which is both kinda funny and also really rude. “We need to break up. But we’ve never dated. So we should date... so that we can break up.”

Makoto blinks. If you selectively disengage all the parts of the brain that process conscious thought, he supposes it almost starts to make a weird kind of sense.

“Uh... where do you... want to go, then?”

Haruka doesn’t hesitate. “The beach. I’m free this weekend.”

On some level, Makoto is starting to feel as though he is perhaps just having a very weird and specific dream. However, dream or not, Haruka still has a sexy mouth and a sexy everything else, too, so at this point it seems reasonable to decide that he’s just going to go wherever this wild ride takes him.

His phone buzzes again, reminding him of its existence. Thanks to that, it occurs to him that maybe they should exchange numbers, so he reaches into his pocket to grab it, and by the time he remembers he has eggy hands it’s already too late.

“Oh, crap—darn it.” Helplessly, he wipes his phone screen off on the seat of his jeans, and then his hand as well, because what the hell, right? “Here, do you want to give me your number, then? Sorry about the... um... the egg.”

Haruka takes the phone from him without a word, dials in a number, then hands it back. Makoto saves it into his contacts, then returns the phone to his pocket.

That seems to be that, and he’s not sure what to do next, so he just laughs, awkwardly. “So... see you on Saturday, I guess...?”

“Bye,” Haruka says, turning to go back into his house.

Part of Makoto feels like he’s won the lottery; another part suspects he’s actually making a mistake. (The last part just enjoys the sight of Haruka walking away; those jeans look like they were made to be peeled off of him.)

The door shuts behind Haruka, and then the porch light goes out, leaving Makoto standing alone in the dark.

For quite some time, he doesn’t move, still processing the events of the last ten minutes. Eventually it occurs to him that he’s got texts waiting, and re-extracts his phone. There are several unread messages in his inbox:

10:31pm > no waiting! no pulling out! the house must be egged! THE GAME HAS SPOKEN!

10:32pm > did you get caught?

10:37pm > you got caught, didn’t you?!

10:40pm > WE’RE DISAVOWING ALL KNOWLEDGE OF YOU, OPERATIVE MAKOTO!!!

Makoto sighs, scrapes a fleck of egg shell off his phone’s screen, and hesitantly types out a reply to the last message.

10:42pm > I’m not really sure what just happened, but I... got a date, somehow?

The reply is nearly instantaneous (“WHAT?!?!?!”, though depicted here with less punctuation for brevity’s sake), but Makoto has already put his phone away. After being put through the wringer like that, the least he can do for revenge is make them wait a couple of hours for all the juicy details.

As he reaches down to scoop up his ruined carton of eggs, it occurs to him that he never told Haruka his name. Makoto’s gotta admit, he admires the chutzpah of a guy who’ll ask a complete stranger out without even knowing what to call him. Well, that’s what he got Haruka’s number for (and thank God he’d had the foresight for it).

Feeling strangely cheerful for no particular reason at all, he picks up his eggs and heads on home.

#free!#free! anime #makoharu #harumako #fic #a love letter to quirky haruka #written by an unexpectedly smitten makoto #fake exes

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chalabrun · 5 years

Text

end-to-end, ch. 1

Word Count: 1,372 Pairing: Elliot Alderson/Jessica Jones Rating: T Warnings: Some alcohol references Summary: A particular type of encryption where a message is scrambled in a way that, at least in theory, only the sender and receiver—and no one else—can read it.

( READ ON AO3 ]

Hello again.

I know, it’s been awhile since we last spoke to one another. Probably a few weeks now, at least. You’re probably expecting a status update. A brief line of no more than 140 characters and some emojis; a longer, heartfelt post made on Facebook or venting to complete strangers on Reddit. I could do that. But, I don’t have any of those things.

Wait. You knew that already.

I guess I can show you.

I had to move out, put my things in storage. It’s in a place no one will look because I made sure of it. It was done in the middle of the night, and with E-Coin taking over as the world’s currency, it could just be chalked up to a lack of funds and rising prices—the devil and demon of every person nowadays. That, or it had something to do with being an Ex-con. Krista’s old boyfriend will probably think so.

I think I’ll miss it. People are so used to being programmed to walk certain routes that street names and numbers becomes inconsequential. What was 217 East Broadway in the Lower East Side became a street, the low-hanging trees that provided thin coverage from the intense summer sun until long after noon, the chipped sidewalks and the hot grease wafting from Bo Hai Dumpling Town hung like a shroud. It wasn’t always a pleasant smell, but it was familiar. The sort of unpleasantness you became so accustomed to that you’d miss it.

And now?

I found something new.

The nice thing about wearing hoodies and dark jeans is that you don’t really stick out in the streets. In corporate America, you wear light pastels and neutral colors because it’s sterilized,so you blend in incongruously and indifferently. An employed and dispassionate statistic. It doesn’t have the grease and spit of the inner city on its shoes. Bleached and sanitized with sharp angles and watery glass surfaces. It always reminded me of being part of a motherboard. What did that make me? The GPU or CPU? Maybe the APU, both.

It’s all about blending in, knowing your environment.

Most of all, like other dissimilar species, it’s about a symbiotic relationship. I think I’ve found that recently.

“Anything?”

Her feet clop behind me, the shelves to the desk’s right and her back is turned to me, but I can see the sloshing amber liquid splash inside a tumbler. The sharp sting of alcohol follows it, but it’s alright. From here, the remnants of my night on her couch within the office in evident, but she doesn’t have any clients yet. Even if she did, a single blanket is easy to justify and fold away. My belongings are stashed beneath it.

I can feel her presence to my right lean against the window sill, arms folded with the tumbler in hand. In the laptop’s reflection I can see her wearing her usual hunter green tank top and distressed, torn jeans. We have our uniforms and anger management issues in common.

But, that’s not what she’s asking about.

“She posted on her timeline three days ago,” I answer, not bothering to lean aside where she can see the Facebook page I’d pulled up. Hacking wasn’t really necessary. We’d already checked her DM’s the day before, but I was going to check it again. “From Chinatown. 3 PM from an iPhone 6.”

“What about?” Jessica prompted me, surprisingly patient. We’d been working together for almost a month now. I think she’s getting more patient with me, a little less sarcastic. Even if a little less is unnoticeable to most people she talks with, like Malcolm or her adopted sister, Trish Walker. Even now, it wasn’t gentle. A hastiness was present, ineffable.

We work well together, brains and brawn. A symbiotic relationship.

You’re probably wondering how this dynamic works, don’t you? That’s alright, I should’ve said something.

“That’s not her phone. If I can trace the signal and the nearest cell tower it was sent from, I can get a better approximate location.”

“So, why aren’t you? We have to act fast, Elliot. Not like the fucking cops.”

Jessica Jones is a loner. She doesn’t work well with others and avoids them. Deflects from attempts to bring down her walls. With anger issues and a tendency to isolate and self-medicate. It was almost like looking in a mirror.

Two sides of the same coin.

“I’m coming with you.” I can hear her kick off from the window sill she’s leaning on. There’s a tense, frustrated atmosphere in the air. The product of two like-minded, polar-approximate people in the same room. The amount of cohesion wasn’t smooth unless you consider gravel and grit smooth. A lone wolf with no desire for a pack.

She stood next to the desk chair’s armrest, defiant and glaring down at me. “That wasn’t part of our agreement,” came her clipped rebuttal, a snarl on her lips. Arms folded, Jessica cocked a hip. “I thought this was some…Pinky and the Brain bullshit. You act like some drone on steroids and I do the groundwork.” She clapped her tumbler down with an audible clunk. “Besides, if you didn’t get the goddamn memo, I don’t do the teamwork horse shit. The last thing I need is to be some fucking babysitter.”

“I’m not saying you have to guard me. I just need to be at the location in person.” I couldn’t remove my eyes from the screen. The tracking algorithm was close and needed an eye on it.

“Did the last few days not happen or what?!” she rebutted back angrily. “You came to me, not the other way around! You wanted my fucking protection from whatever bullshit you’re caught up in!”

The clacking on the keyboard stopped, my eyes never lifting. But, my attention was there, flicking to her in hyperfixated intervals. “That’s not why I did,” I replied quietly, throat dry. “I don’t need protection. What we both need is what we lack.”

Frustrated, Jessica snatched the glass and stalked away towards her couch, flopping unceremoniously upon it. “You said you needed the abilities I have, Alderson. Why the hell else are you here?” she fumed at me. “Yeah, you’re a good hacker, but you’re also a liability. And that’s the last thing I fucking need.”

…I wasn’t sure how else to explain this to her. How did you break away years of walls when neither was really poised to budge? Easy: you didn’t. People were difficult to understand, stressful at best. Loneliness may have been a constant shadow looming over me, but sometimes, it was preferable to being in a room with a thousand conflicting voices and pretending like those people somehow got along. I went to Jessica Jones because I couldn’t return home and because of what I could bring for her. Being a skilled hacker was rare in New York. Being a hacker who at one time owned the FBI and Whiterose’s networks was even rarer. I was an asset, a valuable one. Anyone could see that. Even someone who normally didn’t stand to benefit from someone like me.

The parts of a machine didn’t have to get together once a week for book clubs over Starbuck’s. They just had to run together to complete their tasks.

My gaze on the screen precipitously drifted towards her. “Let me do what I have to. Completely separate from what you are.” That was my offer, my final condition. That we didn’t have to evolve into something parasitical was what we both wanted. Dependency and attachment didn’t suit us. I knew my features were like stone, carved into place. Her plaster was only a little more malleable than my own.

The pregnant pause was long. Long past term.

“…Fine,” Jessica groused as she downed the rest of her spirits in one gulp. “But if you get into trouble, that’s on you, Alderson.” Her own terms were harsh, but clear. We were partners, not friends or something more.

And that suited me just fine.

She grabbed her leather jacket and stalked towards the door, slamming it emphatically behind her.

I returned to the command line. It wouldn’t be much longer now.

#mr. robot #elliot alderson #Jessica jones #Marvel #my writing #hello tumblr welcome to my latest crossover ship how're you--#I thought I wouldn't be posting this but--yolo

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