Tumgik
#but ian's a loner so like. tracks.
sovaharbor · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i forgot i had basemental drugs installed so when jasmine invited her baby brother out to the flea market i was like omg this is perfect bc oliver wants to cloudgaze with her, so they went cloudgazing, he bought a lamp, and then i accidentally had them get high off nasty free weed in a hookah or whatever the sims name is for it
0 notes
callivich · 2 years
Text
Gallavich Academic AU Prompts ✏️📝💻🗒
Tumblr media
Prompts for fics, headcanons, or discussion, art, etc. Interpret these however you like and feel free to use them as just a jumping off point, you don’t have to stick to the exact prompt! If any fics like any of these have already been written, please feel free to recommend them to me!
Dedicated to @zutaralesbian who suggested the idea and @metalheadmickey & @tectonicduck for answering all my questions and for all the help! (Any errors are my own!)
Ian had been looking forward to making friends with his roommate at college. He’d imagined them going through their first year together. But he might as well be living alone because he never sees this guy - apart from him being dead asleep when Ian wakes early in the morning or him sneaking into their room just as Ian is falling asleep. He hasn’t even introduced himself. Ian only knows his name is Mikhailo from the forms that came with their room. He’s a mystery. A frustrating mystery that Ian is becoming a little bit obsessed with.
Mickey had built it up so much in his head that when he finally comes out in his thirties, it’s not scary - it’s just a relief. But he feels out of place at the local gay clubs and is resigning himself to a life alone when Mandy signs him up for an evening LGBTQ+ art course. He’s nervous but he goes because at least he can try making art which is something he’s always wanted to do. It’s just his luck that he’s stuck sitting next to a dorky redhead who has no interest in art and is only taking the course because his co-workers bought it for him as a present. He wants to “have fun” and “make friends” - his words - and that sounds like it’s going to ruin Mickey’s enjoyment. Of course, he’s wrong….
Ian’s housing falls through last minute and so, along with being a new professor at a new college, he’s also got nowhere to live. It’s really not the kind of stress he needs. He’s about to put a message on the online staff platform/database asking for help, when he sees a message that was posted recently: “roommate wanted: needs to be clean and not annoying. no PHD students - just because you are doing a bit of teaching on the side doesn’t mean you are staff. two bed/two bath apartment, kitchen/living area. if you are a lecturer who likes to host student evenings you cant do it here - go to a bar. no parties of any kind. contact - Prof. Milkovich.”
Ian is recently out of the army. He’s struggling with adjusting to normal life, when he learns that Vets have their tuition waved he decides to enrol in college. But he finds it hard to fit in with most of the class. That is, most of them, apart from the loner who sits at the back of the class, rumour has it he just got out of prison…..
It’s distracting at first - that the person before Ian has written so many notes in this library copy of the book he needs to read - but then he starts to enjoy reading the snarky comments this person has left. To the point where he really wants to meet this person he hopes is a guy. And what do you know, when he looks up the previous person who checked out the book - it’s someone called Mikhailo Milkovich and he’s in the year above. Is it weird if he tracks down this guy and tells him he liked is comments? Probably. But Ian’s going to do it anyway.
Mickey has managed to go five whole years without sharing an office with any other professors. His rude personality and messy desk is enough to scare off everyone. But then a new professor arrives, Ian Gallagher, and instead of doing what everyone else did - get mad and complain about Mickey - he tries to be his friend. And Mickey absolutely cannot have that, his office is his private haven and he won’t have this annoying fucker encroaching on his space. Ian meanwhile has heard all the gossip about Mickey and isn’t about to be put off by a bit of mess and some swearing.
Team project. The term fills Ian with fear. He doesn’t want to rely on a randomly selected partner for 50% of his grade. Especially when he’s matched with someone he’s never even seen in the class. Who the fuck is Mikhailo Milkovich? Ian just knows he’s going to end up doing all the work and presenting the project alone. Still, it doesn’t stop him tracking down this Mikhailo to see if they can work together.
Mickey is on the run from a couple of cops, so when he sees the entrance to the university campus it seems like an obvious place to hide. That’s how he finds himself blending into the crowd entering a lecture hall. He casually sits down and tries to look inconspicuous. But then the lecturer asks everyone to pair up for a project and the redhead next to him, asks him if they can work together. He says that his dorm is right near the lecture hall and they can study there. As Mickey still needs to lay low, he agrees and finds himself accidentally working on a college project with a very attractive guy called Ian.
When another teacher gets sick, Mickey is ordered to step in for the weekend social studies/geography field trip. Which is fucked because that’s not even his subject. And that is definitely not how Mickey wants to spend his free time. Looking after a bunch of hormonal teenagers and sharing a shitty motel room with the new teacher is about as bad a weekend as he can imagine. Of course things get worse - they get snowed in and he’s pretty sure the kids are gossiping about him and the other teacher, Ian…..
It’s a stupid exercise, as far as Mickey’s concerned - every student is given another student’s paper and they have to read it and give it a grade. It’s all anonymous, no one knows who graded the papers and no one knows who wrote the papers. It just sounds like the professor just wants to do less work. Then he reads the paper - it’s a short story about a poor, closeted gay kid on the South Side coming out to his supportive family. And minus the supportive family part and the coming out part, it hits uncomfortably close to home. He becomes obsessed with finding out who wrote this paper.
College is hard. Much harder than Ian had anticipated. And he’s struggling to study for all his exams. Which is why he might have snuck a tiny glance at the paper of the guy next to him in his math final. He feels terrible and guilty, but it was only one question and at least no one knows but him, right? Wrong. Turns out the guy, Mickey, not only knows Ian cheated off him but has decided to confront Ian about it.
Mickey probably should have checked the time but, for once, he found himself on a roll - easily writing a paper for a class that he’d usually found really difficult. Ian was in a similar situation, ignoring checking the time in order to finish a paper that was worth half his grade. Which is how they end up locked in the college library. It’s kinda romantic, Ian thinks. Two strangers, a quiet library, nothing but the moonlight streaming through the windows. I mean, sure, they’re trapped and they have no food but maybe this counts as a meet-cute? At least, that’s what he’s thinking until the other guy tells him that they should throw a chair through the window to get out. Ok, less romance and more violence - Ian can work with that.
Ian, head of the LGBTQ+ club at his college, decides to run for student council. He’s running unopposed until some of the video game club members nominate someone from their club. Possibly as a joke, it’s not clear. Either way, this Mickey Milkovich guy is running and his platform just seems to be “do the opposite of this Gallagher guy and free weed for everyone”. Ian is seriously trying to run and he’s not going to be outdone by somebody who doesn’t care about any of the issues. Mickey, meanwhile, is kind of loving pissing off the hot redhead who’s running against him.
Trust Ian to turn up to his first lecture without a pen to take notes. He’d spent hours going through everything he’d need and still managed to forget a fuckin’ pen of all things. He feels so embarrassed asking the guy next to him for a spare one and even more embarrassed when he walks out afterwards with it by accident. But he can’t help but smile when the next lecture rolls around and the same guy just hands him a pen, one eyebrow raised, and says “name’s Mickey, by the way….just in case you needed to know, if you’re gonna keep stealing my pens.” Ian’s immediately smitten.
Mickey doesn’t know why he does it. Really, he doesn’t. But when the hot redhead who is clearly also from the South Side suddenly disappears for weeks, he finds himself asking around for the guy’s name and then, with some detective work/bribery, finding out Ian’s family home address. He delivers the class notes he’s made to Ian’s family house with a note saying he hopes that whatever has happened, Ian won’t miss out on college. Ian is touched that, when he recovers from a depressive episode, an anonymous person has not only taken extensive notes for him but also delivered them to his house. He needs to know who this person is.
Ian and Mickey are the only two scholarship students for their year. Usually there are a few more so the college has an already successfully program dedicated to making the scholarship students feel welcome. Which would be fun (probably…..maybe….) if there were more than two people. But since there are only two of them…..all the ‘activities’ seem like dates.
57 notes · View notes
sinceileftyoublog · 5 years
Text
Riot Fest Sucks
Tumblr media
BY JORDAN MAINZER
Riot Fest Sucks. It’s a tongue-in-cheek phrase that occupies multiple meanings and connotations, referencing the organizer’s self-deprecating recognition that they’re not gonna make everyone happy with the lineup and scheduling conflicts. It’s the name of a Goose Island Beer Co. pale ale made for the Fest, at times served lukewarm, its $10 price tag a symptom of a somewhat pretend punk festival bombarded by corporate sponsors whose presence fails to belie the lack of close, cheap parking, credit card lines, and functioning ATMs. Oh, and Riot Fest Sucks because hours into it my girlfriend sprained her ankle exiting the Vans popup experience down the 20-foot fire pole with no soft landing. So unlike previous years, this year, I left after a couple sets on Friday.
I won’t get there yet--first things first, Caroline Rose. When I walked up to her stage and heard Natalie Prass playing on the loudspeaker, I thought what I initially did upon first seeing Rose’s name in small print on the lineup poster: “Why not Pitchfork?” But as soon as her band gradually came out--first "nicest legs in the band” drummer Will Morse, then “handsome and single” bassist Mike Dondero, then “best friend” Abbie Morin--and started playing a surf rock melody as Rose entered, it was clear that her unique mix of electro pop and retro rock--not to mention her early folk and country material--had her suited for a festival that embraces classic sounds. They began with new song “Everybody’s Making Out”, potentially from the new album she just finished, and then “Cry!”, the band providing a plinky breakdown to the LONER standout. Rose alternated between genuinely appreciative of a fairly large crowd coming out early on a Friday to hear some upbeat but sad songs, and being playful and goofy--essentially conducting the band with her feet while playing keys on another new spacey synth pop song, all before noticing the camera and posing as if she was in a photoshoot. Her joking fit the sarcasm of songs like “Money”, which was interrupted by Rose chugging a 312 and barely smashing the can on her head and then playing Aerosmith’s “Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” on kazoo. Rose is as fun at a festival as she is forlorn on record.
But then the incident happened. I listened to a remarkably nonstop and consistent Hot Snakes set through the medical tent next to the stage as my girlfriend iced her foot, leaving for urgent care right as Neck Deep’s catchy but juvenile pop punk began, not to return until mid way through Turnstile on Saturday. Thankfully, we were able to rent a wheelchair for the next couple days. Navigating the grounds with a wheelchair was a challenge, parking for free on Roosevelt before going through the grass of Douglas Park and the various street curbs separating the Ferris Wheel and the Rebel Stage from the main area. For what it’s worth, save for a couple unsavory comments (“You’ve got him trained well!”), most people were extremely aware and respectful, moving out of the way when necessary, and even helping us out of the mud. We chose not to get ADA access next to the sound stage until Sunday, partially because we were unaware of the possibility, but also because we wanted to be with friends and in the crowd. And from my brief experience, Riot Fest and its attendees walked the walk as much as they talk the talk about acceptance and zero tolerance for discrimination against differently abled bodies.
Tumblr media
Speaking of Turnstile, what I saw from them was a perfect mix of rap rock, hardcore, and nu metal, favoring songs from last year’s Time & Space like “Generator”, short ditty “Bomb”, and standout “Moon”, the last played twice, once regularly and once a capella by vocalist Brendan Yates to close the set. It was much more inventive and progressive than the band who commenced immediately afterward, nonetheless Riot Fest staple Gwar. This time around, most of Gwar’s set surprisingly focused on the generic thrash music, not as many antics, just costumed men playing and spraying blood willy nilly as opposed to as part of a plot. (Except when they killed Donald Trump--that was great.) It’s not Riot Fest without Gwar, but at this point, their sick jokes and edgelord humor is appealing mostly to dudes like the one in the Joe Rogan 2020 shirt I saw leaving the set.
We then traveled to the secluded Rebel stage to catch supergroup The Damned Things, who thankfully came on late, since on the way we got caught up in one of many “What happened?!?” conversations with a friend. The band first formed in 2010 to release their debut album Ironiclast, then consisting of Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley of Fall Out Boy, Scott Ian and Rob Caggiano of Anthrax, and Keith Buckley and Josh Newton of Every Time I Die. Nine years later, they’ve released their second album High Crimes, and this time around, Caggiano and Newton have left, and in has come Alkaline Trio’s Dan Andriano. At Riot Fest, they played half songs from the first record, half from the new one, including the first four tracks of the latter, which showcase equally what The Damned Things do well and where they fall into the traps of MOR rock. “Cells” is more raw than you’d expect from a band with FOB and Alkaline Trio members, both on record and live, and is a surprisingly great introductory song to the album. The other songs they played from High Crimes, including cheesy cheerleader chanting “Something Good” and “Omen”, whose lead riff can’t decide whether it rips off Tame Impala’s “Elephant” or Muse’s “Uprising”, could have been ditched in favor of record standouts like “Carry a Brick” or “Young Hearts”. The former combines the vocal urgency from Buckley that we’re used to with ETID, with Anthrax-worthy thrash metal, while the latter (along with the record’s centerpiece “Storm Charmer”) interpolate a menacing blues rock stomp that could have been emphasized over the pop punk sheen of the Fest. Not to mention “Let Me Be (Your Girl)”, whose music is straightforward but whose lyrics feature gender inversion when assumed sung from the perspective of the lead singer. I left enjoying the set but wishing they had played for longer so I could hear the deeper cuts.
Album score: 6.3/10
Of course, the scheduling gods put Testament, also known as “if Metallica was still good,” during The Damned Things, so we had time for just a bathroom break before catching The Struts. In case you’ve never heard of them, The Struts are English glam rockers, fronted by a man who wears a shirt with batwing sleeves, who fancy themselves the lovechild of Queen and Def Leppard but end up falling closer to someone like The Darkness--which is not a bad thing! Their second album Young & Dangerous is catchy and somewhat undeniable, and the band’s fanbase came out to support them at Riot Fest, British flag in tow. It was probably the crowd’s enthusiasm that fed off lead singer Luke Spiller that made the set infectious; “If you’re not ready to dance and sing, then you might as well fuck off,” he proudly proclaimed, a nice, clear contrast to drummer Rafe Thomas oozing out the words “Hello Chicago” in the most droll voice possible. Sure, the lyrics “I bet your body’s so sweet” are even more cringey in 2019 than they would have been in the 70′s and 80′s, and the “instructing the crowd to get down to the ground” maneuver is pretty tired, but it was refreshing to see a band so unabashedly and unironically unashamed of their influences. “Don't wanna live as an untold story / Rather go out in a blaze of glory,” Spiller sang on the opening lines of “Could Have Been Me”, and upon ending the song, he instructed the crowd: “Ladies and gentlemen, remember our names!” It felt like a scene from a movie, and I couldn’t help but think that such cinematic flair is exactly what the band is going for.
I had time to catch a little bit of underrated electro pop band Pvris and pick up an Orange Wit from All Rise Brewing Co (another Riot Fest staple whose most popular beer has actually improved over the years) before catching Wu-Tang Clan, almost by default. The legendary group seems to be Riot Fest’s token hip hop booking every other year, and so I’ve seen them play Enter the 36 Chambers about 36 times. They ended up doing it again even though not billed to do a complete album set, but was I really going to see Rise Against, Manchester Orchestra, or Andrew W.K. over some of the greatest artists, let alone the greatest hip hop collective, of all time? I’ll take time number 37.
Then came what I knew was going to be the most difficult decision of the weekend, and one I kept thinking about even after it was made. Thrash metal titans Slayer were playing their final Chicago area show at Riot Fest, and their other supposed farewell show I saw last year was phenomenal. Then again, who am I to believe that this would be the time Slayer would finally stop cashing it in and retire? Instead, I opted to see something I very likely would not see again: Bloc Party playing their 2005 debut Silent Alarm in full. Based on how surprisingly great their Lollapalooza 2016 set was, I was eager to hear a set filled with, uh, only good songs, and the idea of the first sounds of the set being the echo of the opening drums to “Like Eating Glass” traversing through the crowd, was one that supplied me with a rare kind of glee. So when the band came out donning masks, launching into the album’s slow final song “Compliments”, I realized that what I initially heard as speculation--that they would be playing the record in reverse--would be true. There went my dream. The sounds and images of fire coming from Slayer’s stage filled me with regret.
But as the set went on, I realized that the choice was one that was both strategic on the part of the band, making the crowd stay to hear favorites like “Banquet”, and beneficial to the crowd. Each song was more energetic and frankly better than the previous one, from the sweet dancefloor melancholy of “This Modern Love” to the stop-starts of “Positive Tension” and “Helicopter”. Of course, “Like Eating Glass” proved to be a worthy singalong, everyone around me air drumming like nobody was watching. And I even got to see Slayer close with “Angel of Death” on the way out!
With one full day of Riot Fest finally in the books and surprisingly sore from navigating a wheelchair over patches of grass, mud, and curbs, I was thankful that the first batch of sets we were interested in seeing on Sunday was at the same stage, where I could grab beer and food and come back, and we could switch off between the grass and the ADA stage (which, awesomely, had free water). Arriving to hear the end of wildly cool and catchy Chicago post-punk band Ganser, we sat and waited for Nick Lowe with Los Straitjackets (and watched a different kind of “jacket” swarm unfortunate members of the crowd who mistakenly wore too much cologne). With the masked instrumental rockers (another band with masks?!?), two years ago Lowe released an album of instrumental versions of some of his best songs, so I was curious to hear how they would fare as his backing band. They got a slowed down “So It Goes” out of the way, as if to say to casual fans in the crowd, “I dare you to leave,” before burning through a variety of early era Lowe classics like “Without Love”, given a country spin by the band. The band delivered a mid-set instrumental performance as Lowe took a break, showing their guitar chops and stop-on-a-dime dynamism, before Lowe came back for “Half a Boy and Half a Man” and the other song everybody was waiting for, “Cruel To Be Kind”. Before playing set closer “Heart of the City”, Lowe said to the crowd, “Thank you, music lovers!” the quintessential statement from a true “music critic’s band,” but one with the pop songwriting talent to reach beyond.
Tumblr media
I took the one-two punch of the “Save a lollipop, suck a dick” t-shirt and the tardiness and subsequent flatness of The Village People’s set as a sign that I should leave and walk by Less Than Jake opening their set with Back to the Future music, be mad again at the scheduling gods for putting the amazing-sounding Ride at the opposite end of the park from where Guided By Voices was about to play, and grab some delicious Harold’s Chicken for myself and unfortunately protein-lacking pad thai for my girlfriend. But there’s nothing like GBV to fix a less-than-ideal situation or improve an already good one. “How do you follow The Village People?” Robert Pollard hypothetically asked as the band went on. “With the village idiots!” With even less time to play than they had at Summerfest, GBV churned out practically all hits, starting with their usual set closer “Glad Girls” and revealing a barrage of known live gems--“Cut-Out Witch”, “Motor Away”, “The Best of Jill Hives”--and some they haven’t played in a while, like Isolation Drills’ “should have been a hit” “Chasing Heather Crazy” and “Echos Myron” prelude “Yours to Keep”, during which a crowd member actually blew a whistle when Pollard sang, “the whistle blows.” The latter was part of the band’s Bee Thousand finale, giving a crowd of casual fans exactly what they wanted and pleasing diehards no matter what.
Tumblr media
Deciding to forego sprinting and catching any of Against Me!’s full albums (two of them!) set or Dave Hause & The Mermaid, I planted myself in a spot where I could see Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson’s beehives. The B-52′s followed a recipe for success in their set, leading off with track one of their debut, placing one hit early (“Private Idaho”), segueing a couple more from their debut into “Roam”, saving the two you knew they were gonna save for last. (Though I didn’t know they’d introduce “Love Shack” with War’s “Low Rider”.) The band was appropriately absurd and silly, frontman Fred Schneider’s sprechgesang adding hilarity to his response to Pierson’s “Something’s on fire in that pizza joint!” (“That’s my dinner!” he responded.) After the band ended with “Rock Lobster”, Pierson broke character and said two very serious things: 1) “Please vote!” and 2) “Go see Patti!”
And Patti Smith we did see, in all her glory. Her voice was as strong as ever on “People Have The Power”, “Dancing Barefoot”, “Free Money”, “Because the Night”, and “Gloria”. Unfortunately, almost half of her set was covers: “Are You Experienced?”, The Rolling Stones’ “I’m Free”, “Walk on the Wild Side”, “After the Gold Rush”, and for some reason, Midnight Oil’s “Beds Are Burning”. I would rather have heard something from her excellent later career albums like 2012′s Banga.
Tumblr media
Hey, but she got a tribute during The Raconteurs’ set, as they chanted a little “Gloria” during “Top Yourself”. Along with shouting out headliners Bikini Kill (and the fact that they call God a “she” on new album closer “Thoughts and Prayers”), was it all part of Jack White’s plan to reveal himself as a feminist punk? I’m not sure; I do know that sociopolitical ideas aside, Help Us Stranger is a bit underwhelming as compared to the previous two Raconteurs releases, which were no White Stripes albums themselves. In any case, the band gave a very good set, because Jack White live is not to be reckoned with. The generic charge-up of album opener “Bored And Razed” was a buzzing jaunt on stage, and the blue-eyed soul of “Now That You’re Gone” was actually a nice change of pace from the blues-rock mashing of “Top Yourself”. On record, though it’s a welcome Ryan Adams diss track, “Don’t Bother Me” is straight up annoying, the repetition of the title after each line well-intentioned but flat--again, live, it somehow worked as a piece of absurdism. Thankfully, the band did play some of Stranger’s highlights, like the beautifully melancholy “Only Child” and power pop jam “Sunday Driver”. I wish they had replaced the comparatively generic “Somedays (I Don’t Feel Like Trying)” with catchy punk dirge “Live a Lie” or “Thoughts and Prayers”. The latter is the best song on Help Us Stranger. From the title, you think White might be trying to comment on gun control, but the song is at heart about life, a zooming folk odyssey rife with synths and fiddle and mandolin. “There’s got to be a better way / To talk to God and hear her say / ‘There are reasons why it is this way’,” White sings. It would have been an appropriate Riot Fest song: realistic, yet inspiring.
Album score: 6.3/10
Tumblr media
But it was Bikini Kill’s triumphant reunion that was the perfect way to end the weekend, with dizzying instrumentation courtesy of Tobi Vail’s drums, Kathi Wilcox’s bass, and Kathleen Hanna’s guitar and siren of a howl. You knew they would sound great and play everything you wanted, from “Rebel Girl” to “Demi Rep”, the latter of which I hope will expose a new generation of fans to the band as the theme song to Hulu’s excellent PEN15. But the most fitting, even if not entirely poignant, was Hanna’s commentary, decrying “Let’s take this country back” white feminists and men who think they know everything, calling out rape culture more explicitly than anybody at the entire fest. “I’m sure Slayer talked about this a lot,” she quipped at one point. But it was a thought-provoking off-handed comment, one that makes me look forward to future lineups. Forget my forced symbolism of a $10 dollar beer. And I know the inherent problem of having a private, very white festival in a public park in a neighborhood made up of predominantly people of color, is not going to go away as long as the fest stays in said park. But Riot Fest can make a statement with the curation. Do they continue to market to nostalgia with minimal radical politics? Or will the festival live up to the name and, in their own words, stop sucking?
Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
Text
The Sand In Your Shoe (pt 9)
In which we see Ian make the peace he needs in order to move forward and embrace everything he is walking back to.
Ian sleeps for most of the five-hour flight. It annoys him in a way, just how much he can sleep on the meds. It’s better than barely sleeping at all and his mind is clearer than when he is manic but as he washes his morning pills down with weak airline tea, he wonders if he’ll be able to cope without his routine.
He is happy to be doing this, he thinks it is the right thing to do, but there is a small part of him that is really worried about it too.
Is this normal behaviour?
Is he acting too impulsively?
Does his medication need adjusting?
Is he on the verge of an episode?
Theses are all questions that Ian wishes he didn’t think of but they come to him unbidden and anxiety curls in his gut making him feel a little sick.
His plane touches down in Brownsville just as the noon heat is at its fiercest and it hits him like a wave. It’s only June but already the sky is heavy and the air is thick. Ian feels a momentary panic, tucking his chin onto his chest and pushing through toward the arrivals gate, his backpack slung over one shoulder.
Security barely glance at his passport before waving him through and Ian nods a brief thanks. He needs to eat something but the airport is crowded, filled with happy reunions and teary farewells and he wants to get out and fill his lungs with air that doesn’t smell of strangers.
There is a hotdog cart a few meters from the exit and Ian makes his way over to it, grateful for the sense of normality the polite exchange brings. His heart rate begins to slow as he sits down on a bench and eats the dog in small, measured bites, savouring the taste of meat and tangy ketchup.
He strips off his hoodie and stuffs it into his bag, goes back to the cart and buys three bottles of water. He has a vague plan but no idea how to action it. The hotdog guy is looking at him in amusement and Ian realises he has been frowning at the cart, completely lost in his thoughts.
“Tough day, son?”
“Nah. Just tired.”
Ian smiles and the guy shrugs as if to say tiredness is just life.
“Someone coming to pick ya up?”
“No. I’m alone. Er … Do you know if there are any used car lots around here? I need to buy a vehicle.”
Hotdog guys grins and Ian notices he is missing half of one of his incisors
“Takin’ a trip Mexican side?”
Ian nods and gets that same broken toothed smile in response.
“Yeah, ya look like a man ready for an adventure. Just take the 88 bus into the city – you’ll find plenty of cars that’ll do ya.”
Ian thanks him and heads to the bus depot. His footsteps feel a little lighter now and the uncertainty is wavering. It’s funny how knowing that he looks the part has calmed his nerves a bit.
Then again, Ian has always been drawn to uniform and costume. First, the army, then dancing in the club, EMT – all of it involved putting on an outfit to become something he felt he needed to be. If the pale green vest, crumpled jeans and well-worn boots make him look like an adventurer then fine, that is what he will be.
*
He starts to nod off again on the bus but forces himself to stay awake and watches the Texan skyline rush by, taking in the vibrant colours of the landscape. He keeps his bag on the seat next to him until an elderly lady asks if she can sit down and Ian obligingly shifts it onto his lap.
They share a smile but sit in silence for a few minutes before she rifles through her purse and comes up with a bag of miniature snickers bars.
“Do you want a candy?”
“Thank you ma’am.”
Ian smiles and takes one, they always make him think of Mickey and Ian is starting to try and embrace thoughts of Mickey whenever they surface rather than burying them. It feels a bit like trying to re-learn how to have feelings and it makes him dizzy sometimes with the intense emotions a small memory or thought can bring him but he is persevering. Trying not to be afraid of feeling too much.
“Are you here for a holiday?”
The old lady is squinting up at him
“Yeah sort of I guess. I’m going to see an old friend.”
“You’re not old enough to have ‘old friends’ yet.”
She laughs, her sun hat wobbling on her tight blond perm precariously and Ian finds himself laughing with her.
“Does he know you’re coming or is it a surprise?”
“Well I told his sister but she might not tell him. To be honest, he might not even be that glad to see me.”
Ian shrugs and scrunches the wrapper in his hand. He doesn’t know why he’s telling her this but she seems happy enough to listen and is nodding along as if she knows the whole story.
“Well, you’re here and that’s what counts. You sound like you’re from Mid-way. Maybe Illinois?”
“Yeah, Chicago. How’d you know?”
Ian asks, smiling, and she sits back, looking pleased
“Thought so. I have a good ear for accents. Anyway, that’s no small way to come to see somebody, you must really want to see him. He’ll appreciate that much I’m sure.”
“I do want to see him. I … I left things a bit abruptly last time. He wanted me to come on a journey and I didn’t want to go. I thought I could but …”
Ian breaks off realising he might be saying too much, he is trying to get the balance right between saying nothing and everything just rushing out, but she simply places a tanned, wrinkled hand over his and nods.
“We all have to do the best we can in any situation. What’s his name?”
Ian hesitates. For one paranoid moment he wonders if the Feds have tracked him this whole way and this old lady, who hasn’t even asked his name yet, is some sort of plant. But he knows that is stupid. Mickey imust be pretty damn low on the list of US fugitives that the government actually care about getting back. He takes a deep breath and savours the name as it glides over his lips.
“Mickey.”
“Ah. Michael. A good, strong name. ‘Who is like God? No one.’ God knows all and he forgives all. People can’t forgive all, not in our nature, but we can forgive some. That’s something to be glad for.”
Ian doesn’t really know what she is talking about but she’s sweet and she’s being really kind to him and that alone makes him smile and nod in agreement.
“I’m Cynthia by the way.”
“Ian.”
They shake hands and Cynthia puffs her cheeks out and laughs
“That’s a pretty good grip but then you’re a big boy aren’t you? Red hair too! Viking blood!”
Ian grins bashfully and she tilts her head to the side to look at him.
“Would you mind if I asked you a personal question, Ian?”
“No ma’am.”
“It’s Cynthia, honey. Now the question I want to ask is this: Are you one of the Gays?”
Ian coughs, splutters and stares at her wide-eyed and she pats his leg, taking his choking for an affirmative answer.
“My grandson is one of your kind. Never bothered me. I know all what the bible says but you ask me that was a long time ago and things change. Love is love, right? Well, my Jason, he’s a sweet boy and I don’t think who he loves or what he likes should matter.”
She unwraps another snickers bar and takes a bite, shrugging frail shoulders.
“You didn’t mind him being gay?”
Ian is genuinely curious.
“I wasn’t thrilled but what does it matter? Gay, Queer, Lesbian … I don’t know all the other ones but whatever. People are people.”
Ian nods and leans back against the headrest. Cynthia seems happy to talk and he is happy to listen.
“So, your Michael, is he a gay too?”
“Yeah. We used to date … it was … I loved him but I couldn’t be with him at the time. He had to leave and I let him go. I wish I hadn’t.”
Ian smiles sadly and Cynthia makes a sympathetic noise
“Did he love you back?”
“Yeah. Yeah he really did.”
Ian presses his lips together, the familiar guilt surfaces but he tries to embrace that too. He can’t hide from it forever.
“Do you think you both might try again?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure I can be stable enough for that. I’m not sure he can be. We’re both sort of loners.”
Ian glances out of the window and takes in the sight of the highway stretching out before them, seemingly to infinity. He hasn’t really evaluated that concern but it has been lurking in his mind since he boarded the plane.
“Well you’ve come a heck of a long way to not know! Time to make up your mind, honey!”
“He’s complicated … I’m complicated …”
“Oh jeez! Listen, everyone is complicated. Even the most simple soul you could meet is complicated in their own way. You have to get over it, Ian! Have a little spunk!”
Ian grins at the gentle scolding and turns back to look at Cynthia properly
“You seem pretty certain about this! Do you know something I don’t, Cynthia?”
His tone is joking and his new friend laughs, something Ian realises she does very easily.
“A hundred things I reckon, what with me being so much older, but this is the important one: Love is not flight, Ian. It doesn’t need constant attention. Relationships and sex? They need work, but love? It endures, honey. If it was there once, the chances are it is there still. My Jason just went to New York to get married and let me tell you, they looked the happiest couple I ever saw and he would probably be called a bit of a loner too.”
Cynthia sighs happily and Ian knows just for a second she is no longer seeing him.
“I’m sure it was a beautiful wedding.”
“Oh it was! You people have excellent taste.”
Cynthia shakes her head in admiration and presses the bell, signalling her stop is coming up. Ian grins to himself. He really likes Cynthia.
“I sat next to you cause you look like my Jason, but hang-dog and low, too much so for a young person. I thought ‘there is a young man with an aching heart’ so why not try to ease it? Did I ease it, honey?”
“Yeah, you did. Thank you Cynthia.”
“Well that’s just fine. Remember: Love endures. Good luck to you. I hope you and Michael work it out.”
Ian watches her get off the bus and for a moment he feels an insane urge to follow her, to beg her to tell him what to do but that is always his problem, he wants a concrete answer to everything.
Everything has always had to be black or white for Ian, and then the bipolar hit and suddenly everything was grey and Ian couldn’t deal with it. He has learned to live in the grey but he misses the bright colours that Mickey brought to his world.
He waves to Cynthia until the bus turns the corner and then sits back in his seat and closes his eyes, once again alone.
*
Once he gets off the bus, he checks into a cheap hotel and lies down on the bed, not even bothering to shower.
He can only have been asleep for fifteen minutes but he dreams vividly. He dreams of being in an open-top car speeding down a stretch of Texan highway. He is sticking his arm out into the rushing air, feeling it batter his fingers and it feels like he could physically grip it if he wanted to but he keeps his palm open. His hair is flying backwards and he is happy. He is so happy. He turns to his left and Mickey is beside him in the driving seat, sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose.
“You really here with me?”
“Where else would I fuckin’ be?”
Ian sees the glimmer of steel through the frayed leather of Mickey’s boot caps as his foot presses down flooring the accelerator.
“Why are we going so fast?”
“Because it’s how you like it, Firecrotch. How the fuck else do I keep up with you?”
Ian can actually see the smile in his voice, it is a golden shimmer over the surface of the road and he closes his eyes unable to bear the beauty of it.
“I didn’t mean to make you go faster than you wanted.”
“Who the fuck are you to tell me what I wanted?”
Ian opens his eyes and stares at the pale, tattooed fingers gripping the wheel, letting his eyes travel upwards, taking in the fine smattering of black hair on Mickey’s wrist and forearms, the way his shirt ripples against his body in the wind. His sunglasses are gone and as Ian looks up, his eyes meet Ian’s own, so blue that Ian could almost believe Mickey has his own sky within him and he wonders just how many stars such a sky would contain and if he will ever get the chance to count them.
He scooches closers, his knee nudging the stick-shift as he leans forward and pushes his fingers through the thick, black waves of Mickey’s hair. It feels like roped silk and Ian brings his fingertips back to his nose, inhaling Mickey’s smell deeply.
“I miss you. I miss you so much, Mick.”
Mickey doesn’t say anything but one hand leaves the steering wheel and he reaches for Ian, slipping his fingers beneath the waistband of his jeans. His hand is hot and dry and Ian leans backwards, his head hanging over the side of the car, blinded by the sun and deafened by the wind, completely at Mickey’s mercy.
The intensity builds and the urgent stroking of the fingers in his pants sends bright dots skittering across Ian’s closed eyelids, gathering together in prisms of crimson, green, blue and black.
“You’re mine, Ian. You know that?”
“I know.”
Those words are not a part of this dream. They are a memory. A memory of a hot, summer afternoon in Illinois, the sweat rolling from their naked bodies as they lie in Mickey’s crumpled bedsheets, limbs tangled together and the air is fragrant with the scent of lust.
Ian’s breath is heavy, his mouth is gaping open, he can’t open his eyes because his lover holds every nerve in his body captive. He remembers a soft kiss from full smiling lips and the sweep of a firm tongue, round and round, lapping gently and taking in the salty pearls which are forming before they can spill onto the sheets..
The hand around him clenches and speeds up, forcing him toward the edge of oblivion.
“Tell me, Gallagher. Say it to me.”
Mickey’s voice is softer, the timbre richer and deeper, than normal and hearing it is like sinking into a bath laced with sweet oils, and fresh sweat prickles Ian’s skin.
The fingers shift a little higher and Ian arches his back further, with a cry that is almost pained, exposing the delicate skin of his throat, the words wrenching forth like sand dragged across rough pebbles, scratching away fear and self-doubt leaving only a bare truth behind them
“I’m yours! I’m yours, Mickey!”
“Damn right you are.”
Ian’s body convulses in an ecstatic shudder and he wakes up.
*
He wipes his hand on his pant leg briefly and then lies completely still. His heart beat slows back to its normal rhythm but still he doesn’t move.
He thinks of Mickey.
He is in a hotel room in Texas, he is going to cross the border and finally, he understands exactly what that means. The second chance it gives him.
Ian is completely calm and yet his skin is tingling and his stomach is fluttering. Something has shifted within him. It feels as if his very soul has changed, softened maybe, he doesn’t know.
The fine line between sanity and delirium is blurring in a way that has nothing to do with his condition. It is fierce, courageous, and passionate. It is joyful.
It is a feeling he thought might have been killed forever by his illness and the medications to control it.
He thinks of Mickey.
He thinks of strong fingers laced with his own in the quiet of the night.
He thinks of morning coffee and shared clothing.
He thinks of breathless stuggles, wrestling bodies and loud, raucous laughter.
He thinks of a bar called ‘Galagers’
A slow, sweet smile spreads across his face as finally, the truth of Cynthia’s words really hit him.
Love endures.
8 notes · View notes
Text
Webtoon Catch-Up!
Ever since I discovered Naver Webtoon, I got hooked with a lot of webtoons. I was first introduced to the website when Michelle Phan created her own webtoon titled “Helios Femina” on the site. At first, I really didn’t want to sign up since I’m just really curious about Michelle’s webtoon but basically, after I read Helios Femina’s first chapters, I went on discovering new webtoons and here I am, one year later, still reading webtoons on the site.
I do read leisurely at work however, I resigned from my job which means all of my bookmarked chapters are gone since everything has been done on my workstation computer. And even though you have an account on Webtoon, it seems that it doesn’t really keep track of the chapters you’ve read once you transfer to a different computer.
And so my struggle begins. I did create a list of webtoons that I read and luckily for me, I clicked on the subscribe button! Because I have the tendency of not doing it since I’m lazy.
Here are some webtoons I’m currently reading (still on-going) and I’m also going to insert some webtoons that I’ve finished.
Icon references: 🌸 On-going Webtoons, has regular update schedules ⭐️ Completed Webtoons 🔥 On-going Webtoons, has no regular update schedules, if they do, they take a while for respective authors to update (I’m not really demanding for an update, it happens and this is just a disclaimer)
🌸 Oh! Holy, ahyun - a story about a loner guy who has the ability to see the dead and the popular girl he likes until *spoiler* she kinda somehow died.
⭐️ Asleep Beside You, F. Arnott - two people meeting in through their dreams and romance brews.
🌸 Noblesse, Jeho Son/Kwangsu Lee - i don’t even know where to start with this! it’s about Rai, who woke up after 800 years of being asleep and he starts his life anew as a high school student under the school that was founded by his loyal servant, Frankenstein.
🌸 Winter Woods, Cosmos/Van Ji - Winter is created by an alchemist a few years back and he stumbles upon Jane who is a writer and teaches him how to be alive like a human.
🌸 unOrdinary, uru-chan - the story is rotating with John being the “cripple” (a student without powers) and Seraphina who happens to be a high-tier (in terms of power)
🌸 Ecstasy Hearts, silentmaru - Anya, being the daughter of two world class tennis player, wanted to conquer the domain of Professional Tennis until her destined rival came.
🌸 Siren's Lament, instantmiso - Mermaid, curse, human. However, Lyra wasn’t fully consumed by the curse which leads her and Ian (the siren who tried to pass on the curse to Lyra) find out why the curse glitched out.
🌸 Cheese in the Trap, soonkki - the college/university life that I never had, just kidding! Seol is a uni-girl who just came from a break and got involved with Mr. Perfect, Jung. Seol now believes that her life drastically changed ever since being with Jung.
🌸 Kind of Confidential, Vivian Darlin - a story about a normal girl and a fallen superhero. I haven’t really read it through unlike the others in this list but I really like the concept of the story and that art though!
🌸 Super Secret, eon - cute story about a girl who is friends with a boy werewolf!
🌸 Always Human, walkingnorth - two girls in love, conquering anything that comes their way. What more can I say!!
🌸 The Strange Tales of Oscar Zahn, Tri Vuong - following the adventures of paranormal investigator Oscar Zahn. He’s a skull floating above a body but it’s paranormal and it’s normal.
🌸 New Normal: Class 8, youngpaka - stories of normal high school students with not-so-normal students.
🌸 Adamsville (currently on hold for Season 3), Michael Regina - two friends trying to save their towns as they try to piece and unravel their parent’s past.
🌸 Heroin Chic (currently on hold for Season 3), David Tischman/Audrey Mok - Fashion and superhero costumes, Zoe is a designer for superheroes to make sure that they not only save the world but they do it in style.
⭐️ Orange Marmalade (Seokwoo), Where Tangents Meet (instantmiso), For the Sake of Sita (Haga),  Annarasumanara (Ilkwon Ha)
🔥 Outside the Box (momo), My Dandelion (omoen), A Thirst of Angels (School of Night), Strawberry Seafoam (KagomesArrow), Unlovable Replacement (nylana), Heartbeats per Second (mjbee)
I hope you guys are able to read all these awesome webtoons and support the creators! They all have wonderful art and the concepts are amazing! 💖💖
3 notes · View notes