#but i've been wanting to write a proper dialogue for these two for ages so
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A full transcribe of JOEL MILLER'S dialogue/lines from the TV show THE LAST OF US.
EPISODE 6 - KIN
Includes full dialogue, and dialogue from any deleted/additional scenes available.
I've created this as a point of reference when writing for Pedro's characters, and I hope you find it useful. Even if you just want to read the dialogue. 🖤
FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE
☝🏻Dialogue has been fully transcribed by myself using reference to original scripts (if available), audio subtitles and using my own two ears. Therefore, mistakes can be made, however I have tried to be as fully accurate as I can. If you spot an obvious mistake, please kindly let me know. Where audio is not clear, I have marked with *inaudible* Scenes are separated for ease of reference.
FULL SCRIPT DIALOGUE:
...gimme the gun. Gimme the gun, Henry.
Henry, no!
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And the gun.
Just someone passin’ through. Take the gun out, two fingers only. Put it out of reach.
I’m lookin’ for my brother.
I haven’t told you what he looks like.
A bit.
No. Ellie!
What did I just say?
Nevermind her. I need you to tell us where we are.
We’re somewhere here. Exactly where? And your answer better the same as your wife’s.
Well, you found a great place to hide, I guess.
So you haven't heard the name Tommy?
You got any advice on the best way west?
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They’ve lived here a long time. Put that back.
Shut up.
I’m okay, I’m okay. I’m fine.
I said I’m fine! Just the cold air… all of a sudden.
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Don’t start. It’s too close to dark. There’s some caves along the river. We’ll set up camp there, cross in the mornin’.
We can get our own rabbits.
Just keep movin’.
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Come down from there. You’re gonna break your neck.
No.
Okay?
Oh, it’s a “we?”
It’s never been an option. Maybe… an old farmhouse. Some land. A ranch.
Sheep. I would raise... sheep. They’re quiet and do what they're told.
And what about you, where you gonna go?
Sally Ride.
It’s a little late to start wonderin’.
Tried what?
Well, I reckon it’s a lot more complicated than that. Marlene, she’s a lotta things, but… she's no fool. If she says they can do it, they can do it.
I’ll do both. Get some sleep. Dream of… sheep ranches on the moon.
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You gotta wake me up if that happens. You can’t do things like this.
I’m responsible for you, okay?
Uh-uh.
You wake me up next time.
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Fine.
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You don’t know how to whistle?
No.
Talent.
Huh.
You can handle the shootin’. Not so sure about the dressin’.
The part where you take the guts out.
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You’re no Will Livingston.
Yeah. Don’t ask me. I don’t have a clue.
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Get behind me.
We ain’t lookin’ for any trouble. We’re just passin’ through.
How ‘bout we just talk this through?
Okay. Easy.
It’ll be okay.
There’s no infected out here.
Like I said, we’ll just move on.
I’m just lookin’ for my brother. That’s all, nothin’ more.
Joel.
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Tommy!
I came here to save you.
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Thank you, ma’am. Been a while since we had a proper meal.
Sorry. Ellie, let’s mind our manners.
What’s wrong with you?
Ellie.
Ma’am, we’re grateful for your hospitality an’ all. But it’d be nice to have a moment here, maybe just for family.
Congrats.
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And you said infected?
No, he can’t. How do you keep this place quiet?
You draw power from the dam?
So, uh, communism.
We’ve been doin’ fine.
Yeah. Okay.
You’ll be fine.
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Been a long time. Doesn’t seem like you aged much.
Pshoo. Christmas trees and bacon? Pretty decent set up.
She’s fine. Alright.
Oh, yeah. She’s the daughter of some Firefly muckety-muck. Tryna find her family somewhere out here. I was headin’ in this direction, so…
There’s a payment. So, you know where they might be, these Fireflies?
It’ll be easy for us seeing as you can headshot infected from half a mile away, which is a bunch of bullshit, by the way.
Oh, come on. I made it across the country. The two of us can make it from here to Colorado.
What, ‘cause your wife won’t let you?
She the one who kept you off the radio? Is that why you stopped messaging me back?
I’m your brother.
No, I heard. Wrong people might show up. So is that what I am? Am I the wrong people?
Those things I did, Tommy, those things that you judge me for, I did those things to keep us alive.
If you knew the shit that I’ve been through, Tommy, tryin’ to find you these last few months-
Guess we’ll find out.
What else am I supposed to say?
We’ll grab some supplies and be outta your hair in the mornin’.
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This ride to the university, is it a suicide mission?
You’ve had people go that way and come back?
She’s immune.
Ellie. She got infected, but she didn’t get sick.
Tommy. Tommy, I saw her get bit myself. That was months ago. Months. She’s immune.
It was Marlene. She hired us to smuggle her to some Fireflies. It went bad. Tess got bit. She made me swear to take the kid. It was her dyin’ wish. What the hell was I supposed to do? We made it as far as KC, and then… You know, she saved my life there… from another kid. Five years ago, I would’ve destroyed him. But she had to shoot him to save me. Fourteen years-old. Because I was too slow and too fuckin’ deaf to hear him comin’. And I saw… I saw a man kill his own brother to save her while I just watched. And today I thought that dog was gonna tear her apart because it smelled somethin’ on her. And all I did was stand there. I couldn’t move… I couldn't think of anything to say. I just… I was so afraid.
You think I can still handle things, but... I’m not who I was. I’m weak. Lately, there are these moments where the fear comes up outta nowhere, and my heart… feels like it’s stopped. And I have dreams. Every night.
I don’t know. I can’t remember. I just know that when I wake up, I've lost somethin’. I’m failin’ in my sleep. That’s all I do. It’s all I’ve ever done… is fail her again and again.
I’m just gonna get her killed, I know it. I know it. I have to leave her.
I mean, it’s why you took off on me, right? To make up for the things we did? Well, here’s your chance to bring your kid into a better world. You’re younger than me, you’re still strong. You said it yourself, you’ll come back. You have to take her. And you can’t tell anyone, not even Maria. Tommy, you're the only one I trust. If anyone else sees those bites on her, what’s under her skin… they’ll shoot her. It’s the last thing I’ll ever ask of you. I swear.
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Ellie…
Listen, um…
I came here to talk to you.
What exactly did you hear?
I made this decision for your own good. You’ll be way better off with Tommy. He knows the area better than I do-
Of course I do.
No. Don’t say another word.
You have no idea what loss is.
You’re right. You’re not my daughter. And I sure as hell ain’t your dad. Now come dawn, we’re goin’ our separate ways.
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No. I came here to steal one of these horses and go.
I know. Anyway… that was thirty minutes ago and I guess… you deserve a choice. Still think you’d be better off with Tommy-
Okay.
Hold onto both.
General direction?
Countin’ on it. Can I borrow that?
'Cause Maria took mine, you know?
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Wide right. You’re flinchin’.
I made it bigger than I should’ve. Eject the cartridge.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, give it.
Mm-hmm.
A deep breath in, slow breath out. You squeeze the trigger like you love it.
Gentle… steady. Nice and slow.
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No. The country was too big for that. Back then, there were basically two main ways of lookin’ at things. Some people wanted to own everything. And some people didn’t want anyone to own anything at all.
Neither. I just did my job.
That’s right. Houses, stores… that kinda thing. We were called “contractors.”
Yeah. We were cool. Everybody loved contractors.
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Right. It’s called a “turnover.”
Yup.
Basically… but violent.
Well, how ‘bout that? Made it in five days.
Still time to find out.
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Team mascot. It’s a kind of sheep.
They’re probably in the middle. Safer.
This way.
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Yup.
Sort of adults. I think it was just as much about partyin’ and findin’ themselves as anythin’ else. Figuring out what they wanted to do with their lives.
So, I’ve been thinkin'.
I don’t want a sheep ranch actually. I mean if the deal is I can do anything?
Well… when I was a kid I wanted to be a singer.
Why is that funny?
No.
You’re already laughin’.
Fair enough.
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Must be from the old labs.
First time seein’ a monkey?
Lookit.
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Mm. No guards.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is a packin’ list. Something you make before moving.
Well… least it ain’t Clickers.
All the pins lead there. Maybe gettin’ ahead of the weather… Better facilities? I don’t know.
Out the back.
Ready?
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FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE
#joel miller#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#joel miller tlou#joel miller the last of us#joel miller dialogue#pedro pascal character dialogue
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🌿 Author portrait. Get to know the author behind the blog! repost, do not reblog.
Basics.
Name/nickname: Jace. (Has been my net handle for forever.) The Grumpy Ass.
Age: 32! I am indeed made of all bones and walking canes now.
Pronouns: He/Him.
Years of writing: Since my mid-teens. It really started around the time I first got a computer at my grandma's old place. Was able to watch overseas shows then one thing led to another.
Reflection.
Why did you pick up writing?: For me if was to answer one simple thing. 'What if', and that itself could be tied to countless scenarios that wouldn't be shared in canon continuity. Initially it was what do the characters do off the screen, then it edged to getting more detailed, to what new journeys or shared moments could they have? It led to a hell of a fun snowball effect. Coming onto different platforms and seeing it was shared or that other folks were ahead of the curved served as some fun motivation. In all the good, bad and deadass kinds of wild. It led to another 'what if' to answer, and still is being answered to this day with the RP hobby.
Do you have any writing routines?: My methods for knocking out replies are to always actively read the post. (no duh Jace), BUT, this comes with the idea on how to blend and extend. How can I give the post offered to me its due diligence and reactions, but how can I equally build off that by ensuring there's enough content to be responsive to for my RP partner? I let my character perceive to find their voice in terms of response and actions during this process.
Afterwards once I got the framework in my head, I kick on some tunes I genuinely enjoy getting it all doled out with the metaphorical meat and potatoes.
That said when it comes to scrounging up not muse per say, but that certain line of writing that I'm satisfied with? I just hop back to old works (fan made and official) that really worked those writing wrinkles in my head. There's some content that vividly let my fingers flow to 'paint a picture', in either emotion or literal presence in scene setting.
What's your favorite part about writing?: For me it'd just be bringing feeling to a scene. To give a very easy ground for anyone, experienced or new in this kind of thing to just feel the said scene. Not as some realistic one for one, but as a means to let their imagination comfortably sit in the drivers seat and have these elements expand before it. Tied with that is being able to find neat/cool ways to highlight my own muse's emotions through writing, letting it so volatile in it's creativity and their said emotions in said scenario.
Three things you like about your writing.
One. I really enjoy how shameless my writing can be. Honestly speaking, my personal taste never really clashed well with 'refinement'. It's blunt and broad, it holds energy and isn't ashamed to really let that be. I feel like that essence of 'voice' within writing is an important fundamental for me enjoying it. In hand with this, it's also why I never could actively write like other authors, and trying to say write similar to how a series does would never great great results from me. I want to carry that particular voice that varies with my muses, and have it flourish with what they also bring to the table.
Two. One thing I've also become proud of is details. Coming from a point where text based dialogue writing was my main bread and butter, watching the change in how it actually expanded has been like night and day for me. In particular, being able to describe a scene in these warm, cold or chaotic ways, adding that touch of whimsical flare to my posts as well. It's primarily why I get my kick from always having some fantasy in my settings, old age, modern or futuristic all the same. I love when I can get to use all the extra detail as extensions.
Three. This isn't tied into the act of writing in itself. Now days however I have to say I really improved on the aspect of proper plotting. My main issue was that I used to make it sound either too much like a script, or I got so creativity locked that it actually sucked the fun out the process for me. Taking some new approaches to the RP hobby has actually ironed out this detail, and I've come to see the incredible amounts of fun that can be held with it too. I intend taking the utmost advantage as well.
A question for the next person.
Write a question for the next person to answer. Once you've answered it, leave a new question for someone else to answer.
When life throws you lemons, and gets you down, does writing become something that you're drawn to as to get you through it, or do you feel like it does the opposite?
For me it'd be the absolute opposite. My creativity first and foremost is tied to me having a good mood. Being in more negative headspaces generally makes me harder to approach, so normally I wouldn't frequent any social angles for a prolonged period while I get that ironed out. It becomes a case of contrasting gears that are heavily rusted.
This is why I often put emphasis on this being a hobby for me. To me, it's similar as to booting up a video game for example and giving it a good spin. A more downtrodden me is moreso being a slough and not really wanting to move, outside of just watching tv while being a bump on a log. Stuff like that needs genuine time for me or a key situation involving said scenario to really iron out those kinks.
It leaves a bad taste for my type of character let that touch of escaping get involved.
New question: What are your favorite details that you enjoy to highlight about your muse through writing? Is a physical element? A measure of character that holds the most flare? This can have multiple answers or a solitary one.
Tagged by: @araneitela Look at you dive bombing me with this. Thank you kindly homegirl.
Tagging: Any and all can proceed to take part! What's your writing lore, let the fine details fly out.
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Fanfic Tag Game!
Tagged by the one and only @sarcasticsciencefictionwriter ❤️
1. How many fics do you have on AO3?
Only 22!!
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
492,234. Which is a lot of words per fic, yes.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Sanctuary. Though I used to write for others
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Mr & Mrs - 110
Love Don't Die - 46
With Interest - 30 (but I feel this is misleading in that it's been up the longest)
Sturdy (29)
And it's a tie for fifth! Both What Should Have Happened After The Clean Up and When Will Failed the Perception Test have 18.
It is hilarious to me that only one of these is G rated. On is M rated, but otherwise it's explicit all the way 😲
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes! I try to! The only time I don't is if I've already been chatting to the person about the thing. But otherwise yes. Come be my friend via the comments!!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I had one called 'Release' that was all about Helen dying and choosing to go which was pretty angsty. 'She Had Him at Hello' is also gonna have a more angsty ending because canon is angsty when it comes to Helen and Nikola...
7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Hehe. Most of them? I generally prefer happy endings because life is dark and depressing enough all on its own... I mean I did a whole series where the central premise was giving Helen and Nikola the happy ending the writers weren't willing to offer...
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Honestly, not since joining the Sanctuary fandom. The only really awful, vitrolic hate I recieved was in a different fandom (nothing quite like a gang of middle aged women telling you that you're awful to start off your writing journey!!)
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Lol. Yes. Most kinds. I'm new to the kinkier stuff, but provided it is consensual, I'm game.
Most of my stuff is romantic-y though. I like to write the tender stuff, with the occasional rough and tumble threaded throughout.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Haven't done one yet! Though I'm not adverse to it - my brain just doesn't work that way.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I... I don't think so. Is that a thing people do?! Yikes...
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I don't think so.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
Nope. Again though, not adverse to the idea!
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
Helen/Nikola. Hands down. Their dynamic is *chefs kiss*
16. What are your writing strengths?
Description, probably. And build up maybe? I'm pretty good at stretching out the anticipation...
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Fight sequences. I know in theory they're no different to sex scenes, but a lot of the smut I write is about the feeling rather than the action.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?
I used to do a fair bit of it, but I've found ways around it now so that I don't have to struggle with grammar I'm absolutely going to get wrong. The only exceptions for me are when I want to use a single word (like when Helen meets one of Nikola's sisters and she says 'sestra') where translation is clear, or when a character is trying to hide something from another. But even then I'll normally not use more than a word or two.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Private Practice.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Well, my current favourite is 'Stupid' because it really was my first go at writing some proper kinky stuff and I'm pretty pleased with how chapter 2 turned out, even if I'm still a bit nervous about posting it because it's more intense than anything I've written before.
Tagging @tinknevertalks @theleotorrio @writerxwren (and anyone else who wants to play along!!)
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20 questions for writers
tagged by @aobawilliams ! (thank you!)
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
44 (that's a lot!)
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
212,262
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I've written for quite a lot of fandoms but I think currently I'm only writing for One Piece and Black Butler. I used to write quite a bit for my hero academia, but the hyperfixation passed a long time ago. And I think no matter how much time passes I'll always be up for writing for detective conan/magic kaito.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Villain? Gamer? Why not both? (4803 kudos)
Shouta's Guide to House-training Two Idiots (2178 kudos)
Two Weeks (1191 kudos)
Accidental Kidnappings and Semi-purposeful Hostage Situations (1084 kudos)
The Wake-up Call (1082 kudos)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I used to, but I don't anymore. I can take things very personally and I'd posted a fic where someone didn't agree with my characterisation of one of the characters and told me this in the comments. I didn't take it well and argued with them, and now that kind of embarrasses me (though, tbh I'd be embarrassed myself if I commented on someone's fic without being asked for feedback in a way that was critical to their approach to a character. Sometimes fanfic just isn't for you and you should leave others alone and let them do their thing).
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
it's probably The Stranger (Mob Psycho 100 fic)
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
hmmm i mean, the thing is, my fics rarely end. so i don't really know...
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I got a proper hate comment once. it was really funny. they didn't mention anything critical of my writing and just told me it was shit and that i'm too old to write like that (i doubt they knew hold old i am?? i don't put my age online anymore). i assume i made them mad on tumblr so they decided to try and make my day bad?? but i just found it funny.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
No. Sometimes I think it would be fun to write smut just to try something new but then I realise I don't enjoy writing about sex and don't have any ideas unless they're funny crack treated seriously ones.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
@aobawilliams and I have a shared bnha/detective conan crossover we were planning to write maybe a couple years agonow. we never got round to it tho cause aha writing hard :')
i did have a dream where ciel phantomhive got yeeted into the one piece world tho and that was fun. only problem is i think it'd be VERY hard to write something like that. very funny tho. he would hate every second of his forced one piece holiday
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I think I've had a couple people pop up in dms to ask to translate my fics before. I've never seen the supposed translated fics tho (not that I'd be able to read them).
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
aoba and I have several co-owned wips that likely won't ever see the light of day cause writing is hard and we are very very tired.
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
I don't really have a favourite. I just have ones I think are funny or interesting to explore.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
ughhh too many. idek.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I've been told my character dialogue is quite good?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Actually having to write ):
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I don't really like it cause I have no idea what's being said and am too lazy to look up a translation, but to each their own.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
I have this very old very embarrassing memory of writing tsubasa chronicle/tokyo babylon crossover fanfic for my english class homework as an 11 or 12 year old. i think they got ice cream.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
I'm not sure. Maybe The Ceiling of the World (black butler) just cause I've wanted to write black butler fanfic for years and never finished any other wip. Otherwise it'd probably be one of the bnha wips I never finished (there was this time travel one that made me go insane. now that I'm thinking about it I REALLY need to finish it) and uploaded or Permanent Membership Guaranteed (bnha)
not tagging anyone but if u want you can take this as a go ahead to do it.
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hi! while I hate to enable procrastination, I am... kinda doing the same thing and would love to read a dissection of the stabbing scene 👀
also for @that-angry-noldo, @aurorafaann and an anon!! Ty all for indulging me hehe <3 (and sending procrastination solidarity!)
Ok SO. Preface that I figured out the stabbing would occur only after writing part 12 - hence why part 13 foreshadows it very heavily and parts 11-12 more lightly. This is also why I feverishly wrote and published parts 13 and 14 very close together; I was gripped. consumed. I had a VISION. For this reason, the stabbing scene is not actually my best work ever. But! I did put a good amount of thought into it and, a week+ later, I think it holds up.
(This is also a good point to say that I genuinely did not intend to write a really mean cliffhanger and then not update the fic for ages. And I am sorry about that. Frankly, the stabbing felt like an excellent twist and I was worried about how to move the fic on from there without somehow destroying the emotional arc of the last few parts, but I've managed to work it out in the past couple of days which is cause for celebration!)
Anyway, we start out the stabbing scene with Maglor, who has not been having a very fun time lately, just glad to see his big brother again - uncomplicated gladness, for an instant at the end of part 13, but now he slips into his normal mode of feeling Guilty and Inadequate and starts to apologise to Maedhros for losing the Silmaril. But Maedhros is deep in the whole delusional episode situation and reacts oddly to Maglor's apology - which Maglor notices pretty much immediately:
Maglor has made Maedhros his chief study for many years.
He looks at him, now, and understands.
Subtext: Curufin is an Idiot who does not notice thingss but Maglor is a very good brother and we love him <3
Then there is the quiet refrain of Maglor's Rules For Dealing With Maedhros In A State: he is very careful with him, trying not to startle him or contradict him, making sure not to touch him. He is doing everything right! It's just that Maedhros has been spiralling so badly that that isn't enough.
Sidenote, but: I love writing Maedhros and Maglor interactions. I am in the silm fandom to write Maedhros and Maglor interactions. They are my bread and butter. This is the first time the two of them have met since Part 3, the first time they've had a proper conversation since Part 1 (!!), and so in addition to having obvious plot significance I really wanted this scene to depict some of the essential elements of their dynamic as I see it. So: Maglor's guilt, a dollop of mutual caretaking, all that endless complicated love, and! a thing I like to do! Mirrored dialogue!!
OKAY now I get to talk about the dialogue in this scene, which is my favourite part of it.
The boys' last conversation in the silm is one of my favourite pieces of dialogue, like, ever. It has so much tragic weight behind it; and the way their lines build off each other, reflect each other, is just perfection. Maedhros: "Who shall release us?" Maglor: "If none can release us..." To me this sets them up as foils for each other SO perfectly. When I write them I try to incorporate a little of this dynamic - they are both good with words, they like to debate with each other, and they often good-naturedly turn the other's words back on them.
I couldn't do this overtly in the stabbing scene because, frankly, I was in a possessed haze and wasn't thinking that deeply about it. But it did come through a little: "No doubt it amuses you," Maedhros says, and Maglor responds with, "Nothing that hurt you could ever amuse me." (Also, more subtly: "If none of it was real at all--" -> "It was real, Nelyo, I promise.")
More intentionally, Maedhros and Maglor are using very different registers of speech in this scene. Generally in tfs I don't make too much effort to make dialogue sound Tolkien-esque, as I do in my other fic; part of the tfs style is rooted in informality, so that Fingon can make a veiled sex joke to Curufin, and Mablung can casually say "Sure is" in response to a question. Maglor is adhering to this "standard style", so to speak: he uses contractions liberally, splices his commas, and so on. Maedhros, on the other hand, is speaking very formally: no contractions, a slightly more archaic way of constructing sentences: "If he lives" vs the more modern "if he's alive". This is deliberate! They're speaking Quenya in this scene, the language of their childhood, but while Maglor is using casual, familiar tones, Maedhros has reverted to very formal, classical Quenya - the sort that's one step removed from being a language solely of lore. This is what Maedhros spoke in Angband (Sauron is a language enthusiast, after all!) - a conscious effort to demarcate himself the High King of the Noldor, and the son of the world's best linguist. But because he's in such a bad place he is also swinging between registers, dropping in contractions on occasion, stumbling over and repeating his words as he grows more overcome.
I do humbly think Maedhros went OFF with dialogue here actually. "You have overstretched your hand, Sauron. He cannot be both dead and alive. You will have to pick one." and “Well, then, which is it? If he is dead then you are only a wraith wearing his shape. If he lives – and – and none of it was real at all—” and "I do not, I do not want this anymore. It was – it was not so terrible, when I could still pretend – but now – you are only taunting me now, doing this. Let it end." HE'S SO UPSET
Another thing that's impossible to get through in English is the use of formal vs informal second person: unfortunately in modern English, "thou/thee" sounds hopelessly archaic, so I couldn't have Maglor use it without breaking the casual and familiar vibe I was going for with his dialogue. But, in my head, he is thou-ing and thee-ing the whole time, whereas Maedhros is using the crushingly formal "you" instead. A little of this came across, hopefully, through Maglor's repeated use of Maedhros' childhood nickname: he calls him Nelyo in pretty much every sentence he speaks, whereas Maedhros, importantly, does not address Maglor by name even once.
Okay I just spent five paragraphs talking solely about dialogue WHY are you people indulging me like this. Moving on. In terms of actual plot... well, I think how well the scene works depends on how overt you found the foreshadowing in earlier parts. Did anyone predict that Maedhros would attack Maglor? If so, I imagine a lot of the mounting tension in the scene is kind of pointless. If not... the fact that Something Is Wrong is hopefully obvious from the start; the reader knows, unlike Maglor, that Maedhros has been having a terrible time of it. By the time Maglor has failed a couple of times to make any headway in convincing Maedhros, I was intending you to grow steadily more stressed. And
(It's worth noting that, with the exception of the twins, Maglor and Curufin are the two sons of Fëanor who most resemble each other: they have the same colouring, and they're both slighter than their brothers, with the same long skilful fingers.)
(It is not implausible that a shape-shifter, tired of impersonating Curufin, might switch to Maglor's form without too much difficulty.)
This small break from the close, limited Maglor POV that most of the scene is in, to give a quick glimpse of what's going on in Maedhros' head, was intended to Freak The Reader Out. Maedhros has literally just planned to kill the thing impersonating Curufin in Part 13 - if he is now starting to suspect that it's here with him, that killing it is the key to breaking the illusion, shit is getting serious.
Maglor gets out of bed. MAGLOR WHY ARE YOU GETTING OUT OF BED. He is almost afraid of Maedhros. MAGLOR BE MORE AFRAID OF MAEDHROS.
Maedhros says, "It was – it was not so terrible, when I could still pretend – but now – you are only taunting me now, doing this. Let it end." He has spent some time debating whether or not he prefers the illusion to the reality of his captivity - and he wasn't sure - but now that Sauron is mocking him with the image of his dead brother, he has decided enough is enough.
Maglor's bad leg gives out. Before he can fall Maedhros catches him, putting his right arm around Maglor's waist.
This is partially cute. Maedhros still has his big brother instincts, even like this! He isn't going to let Maglor fall!
But alarm bells were intended to be Extremely Ringing here. Maedhros puts his right arm around Maglor. His left hand is still free. His left hand is still free–
And Maglor, who is still just absolutely not realising how much danger he is in, responds to this extremely worrying statement by saying, "Thank you, Nelyo," - was he not LISTENING?? Maglor!!!!
Then, of course, Maedhros stabs Maglor, Maglor's instinctive response is to comfort him (do I need to get back on the "Maglor is an excellent brother" soapbox or can we take that as given), he sings him a lullaby - callbacks to Part 1 and the Carcharoth encounter, Maglor has sacrificed himself for Maedhros more than once in this fic - before just sitting down to die. That was a clear image in my head for a while: Maglor sitting in a pool of blood, singing quietly, Maedhros' head in his lap and the Silmaril in his hand, and then the orc-horns sounding outside for extra cliffhangeriness. In fact this is probably my single favourite image of the fic. I just love them ok.
This is SO LONG and so procrastinatey but also an extremely fun exercise actually!! I am now fired up to go and work on part 15.
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Twenty Questions
@nutcasewithaknife thank you so much for tagging me! I had a lot of fun looking through all this
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
10
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
101,426
What fandoms do you write for?
Currently Mysterious Lotus Casebook, but whatever's on the mind honestly
What are your top 5 fics by kudos? (Edit: WHOOPS sorted by the wrong thing)
resiny and earthlike and fragrant- My beloathed incomplete fic for CQL, oh how I despise you (45.4k)
from a distance, in a crowd, i know the shape of your shoulders - the angsty beginning to my Mr. Queen series about what it means to know a replaced identity for Hong Yeon (3.0k)
all my life i’ve been waiting for a good time (let's ride) in my Mr. Queen series; the Soyong gets her groove back fic (2.5k)
i chew chew chew cuz they hope i, choke - the raunchy end to my Mr. Queen series with Bong Hwan and Cheoljong. (6.4k)
i don't think plato had us in mind - A Do Revenge piece on Drea and Eleanor's bonkers vibes (2.4k)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Usually respond to the first ones but fall behind. I love any and all tho!! But when I do respond to a comment that accidentally sets off my brainrot I usually rant for an unhinged amount of word count. Sorry to those commenters. I love to run my mouth, see my too long answers here
What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
If I go for sad I usually intentionally go for somewhat open ended; that said Hunminjeong'eum (my fic about the butterfly effect of conversation for Nam Seon Ho) is canon compliant to my country the new age and thus has an implied angsty ending. There's also the pending sad ending for my MLC series
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Definitely my Mr. Queen fix it series. My favorite of the bunch is all my life i’ve been waiting for a good time (let's ride) which is the least popular one of course. But I think that Soyong deserved her own proper happy ending away from the husband who despised her, so that's the happiest one to me.
Do you get hate on fics?
One person insisted I tag OOC which honestly cut deeper than it should have
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I wrote one pretty graphic smut piece, it is my second most popular work, and I think it is deeply unhot. Go figure
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
My only crossover is my My Country the New Age and The King: Eternal Monarch reincarnation fic from the perspective of a side character squared remembering their past life amongst political intrigue aka lately I'm a nervous wreck (i only have two real friends) (24,023 words). As I wouldn't wish The King: Eternal Monarch on my worst enemy, it's unfortunately incomprehensible to many people of taste.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I'd be flattered if it happened honestly
Have you ever had a fic translated?
No I am far too unpopular for that
What's your all-time favorite ship?
Li Shiqing and Xiao Heyun from Reset! I love that they're couple that works better together than apart and that they're both mostly practical, very ordinary, and matter-of-factly devoted to each other by the end.
What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I have a Reset 2022 fic I need to finish, but I don't think it would have any readers and it's not on the brain so who knows if I'll find the time
What are your writing strengths?
I think I'm good at a funny, modern sort of voice with quirky character details. It's one of the many reasons I love my silly crossover fic- I think it's funny.
What are your writing weaknesses?
PACING AND PLOT. my white whale is that awful CQL fic that's by far the most popular thing I've written. Also probably culture I'm in a lot of fandoms where the culture is not my own and I'm sure I bungle it
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I do include non-English words sometimes, usually following the format of the subtitles I watched since that's how I experienced the work. In terms of full sentences, probably not.
First fandom you wrote for?
Self insert E/R fic that if anyone irl found I would need to flee the country. Except u my one tumblr irl crossover friend love u
Favorite fic you've written?
lately I'm a nervous wreck (i only have two real friends) by a wide margin. It's my second least popular work. It's my favorite thing I've every written writ large: I was working through some big feelings and philosophies when writing it that helped make me a better person. It's funny (to me). It's sort of dark. It has a cheesy Olivia Rodrigo lyric for the title. It centers a platonic relationship and has a bunch of carefully transcribed details from MCTNA, a show I love. I'm pretty sure literally no one else read the last chapter since I posted it a year after the others. I reread it regularly. I still find typos.
Tagging @rosyfingered-moon and @haraxvati and anyone else who wants to do it!
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🌿 Author portrait. Get to know the author behind the blog! repost, do not reblog.
Basics.
Name/nickname: Min(a)
Age: 32
Pronouns: She/her
Years of writing: I've been writing little stories and fantasy things and scenes from books I liked as long as I remember.. As for RP and fanfic.. I think it's been around 18 years?
Reflection.
Why did you pick up writing? Because I wanted more of the stories and the characters I enjoyed and very often I also wanted different things than canon was presenting to me - e.g. a dead favorite surviving the plot, a world in which a villain wins, a crossover between two worlds, a ship that wasn't canon. There was no more canon (because the book ended) or canon left me wanting something I didn't get, so I started reading fanfic and at some point realized - hey, I can also just write my own versions / stories :)
Do you have any writing routines? First, I cry and bemoan that I picked this as a hobby. Then, I often actually lie/sit down on my couch or something and picture the scene in my head in detail (including dialogue - think of it like "trying out the script), and then once I feel like I know where I want it to go, I sit down at my PC and start writing a rough draft in note form. Final step I write it out in proper sentences. Depending on the mood (of the post) I also listen to instrumental / classical / film music or ambient sounds (e.g. forest noises). I can't listen to anything with lyrics, that distracts me too much.
In between all those stages I get distracted 48472 times, which is why it takes me so long to reply to anything.
What's your favorite part about writing? Creating things that I want to see/read but that aren't there yet (/will never be in canon). It also brings me joy to simply try my best at understanding a character and trying to recreate his mannerisms/attitudes/personality in new situations. And of course bringing joy to someone else - and I think that's my actual favorite part. Yes, I write for myself = because I want to do it; but if I didn't also majorly enjoy the feeling of writing something for someone else that excites them or makes them happy, then I wouldn't be RPing or publishing fics.
Three things you like about your writing.
One. I can "recreate" canon characters in new settings / new scenes to an extent that I am content with. Like most people I have certain muse types, but I think I can somewhat successfully mimic a lot of different muses, at least enough to be happy with it.
Two. I can create some variation when I want to. In RP you usually will see me write in my go-to way (choice of tense, narrator, focalizer, etc) but I do switch it up sometimes for narrative effect and I have written some pieces in the past that I thought worked out pretty well in that aspect.
Three. I can make people yell, cry or laugh with it. It may not be perfect but if I can make someone feel something with it, that's good enough for me.
A question for the next person.
Write a question for the next person to answer. Once you've answered it, leave a new question for someone else to answer.
When life throws you lemons, and gets you down, does writing become something that you're drawn to as to get you through it, or do you feel like it does the opposite?
I can't write when I feel really bad, I don't have the focus or the energy. But the stories are still in my head and the stories are always what my mind goes to. When I was younger and struggling with things I actually imagined characters that I wrote in my situation to somehow process it better, because it was easier to think about them and how they'd react than knowing that for myself. Writing/creating never does the opposite (aka make me feel worse in any way) but the actual act of sitting down and creating a good piece of writing usually is too difficult when I am in a bad state. That said, sometimes it can be helpful to write something that matches my mood - e.g. something sad or angry.
New question: Do you have a favorite genre to write (e.g. horror, romance, action, angst), and if so what is it and why? If you have more than one favorite, what are your top 3 and why?
Tagged by: @araneitela Tagging: @dhabibi @immobiliter @wishkept @helbroth
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excuse me while i send you a million questions from that ask game 😂 but.... 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 23, 29, 37 and 38!
Hiiiii babe!!!!! No excuse needed, I love the million questions!
2 - Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?
Answered here, but I'll add another one cause why not. I don't think I've ever actually written a kid fic, either where one of the canon characters is a much younger child than they are in canon and it's about their childhood, or where you have canon characters becoming parents. I've thought about various versions of it a fair amount with various characters, but I've never really messed with anyone's age more than a few years in either direction. Willex would be great parents though, just saying...
4 - How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?
Uhhhhh.... a lot? I don't have a ton of writing time at the moment, so the ideas are just building up in my head. There's at least half a dozen, probably more, in various stages of planning and daydreaming and being written.
One that I'm in the process of setting up is actually a response to a prompt you sent me like two weeks ago. Basically, Willex goes on an ice skating date. Neither has done it before, but both assume the other will be great at it, since they both dance and Willie is almost never without his beloved skateboard. Spoiler alert, they are both awful at it. Chaos and flirting and falling and probably a lot of hot chocolate ensues.
5 - Share one of your strengths.
None of the above.
Kidding, don't kill me please! Uhhh, I guess I'm alright at domestic fluff? Like, just the blurbos hanging out and doing boring life stuff together and loving each other. I really like some good domestic fluff, and I've been informed that I am decent at making it too, which is cool!
7 - Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
Stop making me say nice things about myself! Okay, answered here, but I guess you'll yell at me if I don't do another one so...
There were many things that were hard about being on tour. The long hours on the bus, for example. Or the fact that he couldn't just leave when Luke got too loud, or wail on his drums whenever he wanted, due to them being packed away between locations. But he loved touring with Julie and the boys. And he loved that Willie was able to come with them. Because it meant that he could do the things he loved, with the people he loved, all the time. They'd had to wait a couple of years after forming the band and Julie's Magical Hug of Destiny to go very far from LA since Julie had to finish high school, but they were finally doing it! And it was amazing!
Except when it wasn't. Except on days like this when Alex just didn't have the energy for anything beyond the basic necessities. And, unfortunately for him, his body and brain didn't count showering as a 'necessity’. It wasn't that he didn't like showering, or that he didn't feel sweaty and dirty, despite still definitely being partially a ghost. No, there was just something about showering, specifically in unfamiliar places, that freaked his brain out. And, because of the tour, Alex was always in an unfamiliar place.
This is from the first proper fic I ever published(Read it here). It was basically just a projection fic to get me through a rough patch, but I think it actually turned out okay and it holds a special place in my heart as the first thing I posted.
8 - Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
Do I have tooooooo?
Then Willie turned around and Alex’s gaze fixed on his face. The conflicted wave of emotions from before seemed to have simplified into just two: excitement and fear. “What do you think?” they asked softly, chewing nervously on their lower lip.
Alex was across the room in an instant, pausing for a beat to wait for Willie’s nod before resting his hands on their biceps. “Willie, you look incredible! ” he stated quietly. “I’m pretty sure half of my brain isn’t even working right now with how good you look. How do you feel?”
Willie chuckled and stepped forward, leaning into Alex’s chest. “I feel good,” he whispered as Alex pulled him close. “I really like it.”
“I’m glad,” Alex murmured. “I really like it too.”
Willie pulled away suddenly, grinning as he threw his arms out and spun around in a circle, the black fabric flying out around him. “It’s so swishy!” they exclaimed, giggling.
I guess this? It's from a fic called It's New, It Looks Good On You that I published a few months back, in which Alex gets Willie their first skirt. I guess I just like how comfortable they feel around each other, even in a pretty vulnerable situation. Healthy relationships, my beloved!
23 - If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?
Oh gosh, well none of my stuff is really that old. I only started actually writing early last summer. I guess... Okay, I didn't post I'll Be Here, I'll Hold You Through It till like six months ago, but I wrote it over a year ago now. It was basically written in a late night fit of anxiety and seriously needing a hug, and I feel like it isn't that good. I mostly posted it out of nostalgia and because I wanted to post something. I kinda feel like I could do better with the material now and it would be a better fic.
29 - If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?
Oh gosh, I wouldn't dare touch most of my favorite fics with a ten foot pole, I'd wreck them. But... there's some thoughts lurking in my ideas doc about a prequel to Girl Crush by the lovely @valiantlyweepingdreamer, giving the story of one of the couples that is already together in the main fic. I have no idea if I'll ever actually get around to writing it, but we discussed ideas for a while back in November I think.
37 - Talk about your current wips.
Oh you're gonna regret asking that one, I could ramble about my wips for hours. I'll try and keep it short here, and expand on the Willex ice skating fic I mentioned above. (No I haven't actually started writing it, shut up!)
The date is Alex's idea, cause Reggie and Luke were teasing him and Willie about how they never go on 'proper dates'(Hey, who needs to stay legal when you're invisible, and they have the best cuddle dates). So Alex googles a list of date ideas and is like, "Oh, ice skating, I bet Willie will be good at that." So they go(invisibly), snag a couple pairs of skates from the rental booth(They can put them back later, it's not like they're gonna leave germs on them or something, Alex!), and go out on the ice... only for Alex to immediately fall. Willie laughs and tries to help him up, only to lose his balance and fall too.
They kinda sort it out eventually, but they never get off the wall without hanging onto each other's hands for dear life. Afterwords, they poof back to the Molina's and make hot chocolate, because what is ice skating without hot chocolate?
38 - Talk about a review that made your day.
Okay, this was just on a doc I sent to a friend(after many conversations about said fic and me tinkering with it for literal months despite being under 1k long), but their response was so sweet!!!
"i have something to say
i think this might be one of my favourite things i've read from you, if not the favourite
it's so good
for one because i love kissing in any way shape or form, highest form of expression of love for me, but also because it's written just so beautifully, it's lyrical almost, the images, the phrases, the language metaphor, it's great!!
i love it so much"
(^Copied from our DMs)
It was just so sweet and it totally made my day and while I have no idea if that fic will ever see the light of day(literally, cause I only ever seem to be able to work on it at night...), it just makes me really happy that someone else loves it so much! I love that fic, I'm just also terrified of it so... yeah. Anyways, I won't tag them cause I don't wanna be annoying, but if you see this, you know what I'm talking about and I love you!!!!!
#whew#that took a minute#/nm#love you shelly#legolas tag#legolas ask#legolas answers asks#ask game#writing asks#jatp fanfic
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Jealousy / Envy
Characeter ask meme, re @theghostisametaphor.
Logus asks Oskyod: F. envy or jealousy
note: Λόγος (Logos) is Oskyod’s pet name for Logus, because naturally.
---
Jezebel shifted her weight pointedly. “We’ll see,” she said, and took her leave.
Once she had passed out of earshot, Logus laughed.
“Such a jealous creature,” he said. “Will she never learn?”
Oskyod tucked the card they had been examining back behind their ear, where it vanished from sight.
“Jealous?”
Logus straightened. “Do you object to my choice of word? Clearly she resents me—resents my discovery—and irrationally so. This ought to be a cause for celebration, but to her there’s no true victory unless it’s hers. What would you call that?”
“Envy.” Oskyod did not hesitate. “I would call that envy.”
“But that is a synonym! Don’t you stand there and tell me that it isn’t.”
“It is,” now Oskyod spoke more slowly, “but you asked what I would call it. To my mind ‘synonym’ is a fallacy: I do not hold any two words to be interchangeable. The connotations of envy, I think, fall much closer to the mark.”
“Oh? And how do you distinguish?”
Oskyod shrugged. “I don’t hold to any hard-and-fast rule. But I like to be consistent. I generally think of envy as a desire for what isn’t yours, and jealousy as a reluctance to share what is—or what is yours in part. Envy is ambitious; jealousy is possessive. Alternately (or additionally), jealousy tends to carry more intimate connotations than its counterpart. Jealousy is always personal; envy may be less so.” They paused. “That said, not everyone draws the distinction in the same way that I do. There’s a good deal of overlap, and your usage was certainly fair play: it’s just not how I would have put it.”
Oskyod left off, but they did not withdraw their gaze. All the time they had been speaking, Logus noted, they had not broken eye contact; he was not sure whether he liked this any better than the professor’s more customary evasiveness. Their braid uncurled in the air from left to right, and Logus had to suppress a sudden impulse to grab hold of it and make it stop—together with the curiosity that had welled in him. He put his hands in his pockets and looked away.
“Such a messy business, language” he said. “There’s no precision in it. But I do respect your attempt to bring some more rigour to the discipline. By your terminology, here, yes, I agree. Jezebel is insatiable above all else—as envy must be in its extreme—and that’s what rules her.” Still the curiosity pricked at him. He rocked back on his heels. “Would you say then…that some people are ruled more by one or the other? Envy, jealousy? Take Lux. She’s quite the opposite: I don’t think I’ve ever seen her envious in my life. She wants nothing. But lay one finger on anything that’s hers…?” he laughed. "Jealous as the devil, that one.” He stole one glance at Oskyod from the corner of his eye. They had not moved. “But I am curious, professor. You seem to have put some thought into this—which suggests to me that it is above all an important distinction for you.” He circled two paces to the left, vulture-like. “Tell me. Why is that?”
Oskyod followed him with their eyes as he paced, all else about them motionless.
“You may ask me, Logus,” they said. “I am inclined.”
Logus stopped dead. There was a command behind that—something he had not heard before—and it chilled him. Oskyod pivoted to face him directly. “You may ask me,” they repeated, “but you must do better than that if you want a good answer. Language, I think you will find, only lacks precision if you don’t know where you are in it. You don’t. But one man’s mess is another’s filing cabinet: a mess one can navigate is no mess at all. Give me the context and I can give you anything: as intricately—as precisely—as you like.” They stepped in close. “Ask me again, Λόγος,” they said, “and don’t insult me. Do it right this time.”
Logus stood transfixed, his mind racing. Oskyod never did this. Oskyod never maintained eye contact for this long—not with him and not with anyone. They would look at a book, look at the floor, look out a window, at their own fingers—at anything—at nothing. This was deliberate. Right from the start he’d known something was off—how had he not caught it?
It was too late. All this time they had been casting, and now the spell was fixed: if Logus spoke, he could not lie. Not only that, but he could not lie by omission; he could not conceal—not until Oskyod looked away. He knew the trick well—he used it not infrequently himself—but he'd thought only Lux had the cards to use it on him. Was this even the same spell? It felt very different, under their cast—like a dimly lit maze, or a web with many twists and snags—and there was much less compulsion to it. When Lux demanded a truth, she extracted it—willing or no. But this was not a demand. It was a condition. If he should speak…
The panic passed. Logus would not be made to reveal anything. Easily he could snip every thread that held him; depart, and never speak of it again. But what would that imply? That he feared the truth? He, Logus? And still the curiosity ate at him. Rarely was Oskyod so forthright: when next could he expect such an opportunity? Was there any good reason he should not take it? They knew already what he had asked—of that he was certain—only they would not answer it until he had given the question in full.
Well, he thought. If that is to be the price…
“Well played,” he said, and collected himself, “but I do not mind.” He flexed his fingers and pulled on the cuff of one gloves. "And why should I? I’ve nothing to hide. I will ask again, and on your terms.”
He held himself tall, taking a moment to feel out the boundaries of the spell—what would give and what would not. He began.
“You know that I…require you,” he spoke carefully, testing the syntax. “I mean I care for you very much—” and there was the wall. A panic took him and he felt for the exit. Was he bound to keep speaking now that he had begun? No: he could still break. Or could he...? But he did not want to. (Was that a part of it?) “And while I do not know for certain your regard for me, I have reason to hope that I am not entirely unrequited in my love.” Again he balked. That he could never have said—he did not have the cards for it.
And yet he’d said it. He’d let the words be pulled from him—against his hand—with his permission and without his will. It felt almost exhilarating. Lux only ever dealt in hard truths, and when she extracted them it was with an iron fist. But these were shadow-truths: many-sided, and they wanted shaping. He had to yield them, but beyond that he could yield them any way he liked. He had expected to feel forced. He did not. He felt fluent---so fluent it frightened him. Every truth he gave now was his own.
You’re doing very well, said the spell. Take your time.
Logus bristled. He did not have to look up in order to read Oskyod’s expression (smug, insufferable). “I hate you,” he said—and found with relief that he could still say it.
Gathering his thoughts again he pressed on, more irritable now than cautious.
“It’s as I said: you know these things. You know (confound you) everything. And you know also my position. You know where I stand in the Master’s esteem: you know his claim to me. And you know that even if I could I would never change it. It’s what I am. So what I’m asking you is simply this.” He took a breath and retreated into the collar of his coat. "Do you....do you mind it? You do not strike me as the envious sort. Yet sometimes I imagine—sometimes, in the way you…” Again he stalled. No. He would say it: he could. “Are you jealous then?” Now, and never again. "Are you jealous towards me?”
He opened his eyes (he had not realised he’d closed them). The world did not end. He looked up. Oskyod tilted their head to one side, blinked, and released the bind; Logus reeled a little, feeling almost giddy. He laughed once, recovering quickly, and skipped lightly backwards.
“Your move, professor,” he said, “And you had better answer: you know you’re not the only one who can pull that trick.”
“Oh, I fully intend to,” Oskyod smiled, looking very pleased with themself. The smile broke into a grin, and they laughed, and laughed again, stumbling a little as they did. They seemed almost to be having difficulty containing their mirth. Logus looked on in some bewilderment: he was not quite sure he had ever seen them in such a state. “Excuse me, please,” Oskyod said, “I am not laughing at you, believe me: you performed splendidly—that was much better. You speak so beautifully, you know, when you’re enabled. Yes, yes, you have certainly earned a reply.”
Feeling more insulted than flattered by this praise, Logus waited. “It had better be honest. I can tell.”
“I am aware,” said the professor, sobering a little. “I don’t suppose you would take a more eloquent reply tomorrow, would you?”
“No–!” Logus sputtered. “No, absolutely not! I played your little game. You’ve made me say all sorts of ridiculous things—and very ineloquently! I’ve humiliated myself. Now you.”
Oskyod laughed again, still very fey. “Sorry, I had to ask. Well.” They adjusted their glasses. “Thankfully it’s not nearly so difficult a question for me to answer as it was for you to pose. You’re on the right path: I do generally incline much more towards jealousy than towards envy, in the instance that I incline towards either. It’s all a great deal of energy, you know—envy especially. And very pointless. Though… I do not especially love for other people to touch what’s mine. My office, for example. My records, my person, my cards.” Now they locked eyes with Logus, their expression blank. “But you already know that. You did not ask about generally. You asked about you. You guessed that I do not envy your position, and you guessed correctly. As for the Master…” They looked past Logus now, and spoke distantly. “I would not flatter yourself so far as to think me jealous. I don’t give a damn whether he touches you. I might be able to muster some resentment over other aspects of his claim, but it’s such an effort to work up a real fit. And we both know I’ve never required you quite so desperately as you require me. ” Now they looked back, and smiled strangely. “Besides. Say that I did possess you—comprehensively. What would I do with that? Keep you in my office in a box, take you out only when it amused me? Because you see, if I really wanted you, that’s what it would take. I do not possess things lightly. I do not possess people lightly. It’s really far better that you’re his.”
Their voice had dropped considerably in volume, and Logus realised that he could no longer say what language they were speaking in—only that he understood it.
“That said…”
Oskyod moved in to adjust the front of Logus’ jacket (which Logus was fairly certain did not need adjusting). Their braid swung very close to his face and he grew impatient.
“That said, what?”
Oskyod looked up. “What?”
“I’m not letting you off. You were going to say something. Stop touching that—out with it.”
“Ah, right.” Oskyod stepped backwards, quiet as dust.
“That said: I do not like it, Λόγος.”
The lenses of their spectacles flashed white.
I do not like it at all.
#logus had to remind himself that he did not want to be kept in a box in oskyod's office#for a hot second that sounded really appealing#composed fiction#Logus*#Oskyod*#Logus#Oskyod#hhhhhhh this became#incredibly long#but i've been wanting to write a proper dialogue for these two for ages so#here it is#indulgent in the extreme
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LOVEFOOL
Author’s note: HELLO! This is my part for the Valentine’s Day challenge that @1dffchallenges put together. Make sure to keep an eye out for any other pieces published by other authors. Enjoy! And happy Valentine’s weekend! (:
Summary: Harry agrees to go on a blind date set up by his friends in hopes that it will help him move on from an unrequited love.
Word count: 3K
Challenge prompt and dialogue: blind date set up by friends. “I don’t want this to end...”
There’s a first for everything. Harry’s had his fair share of them at the age of twenty-seven. First time on an aeroplane at the tender age of six for a family holiday in Rome. First kiss on his home town’s park with someone he deeply cared about. First time in a recording studio. First time going on tour. The first night spent alone in his new and barely furnished home. The first morning he laid eyes on the girl next door. The ugly heartbreak after she got married, certainly felt worse than his first one.
Life is full of firsts, Harry knows that, and he wishes to have been the first to sneak his way into Jane’s heart, all those years ago.
"You love her" it almost sounds like an accusation coming from Jeff, though the last thing he wants is to make Harry feel guilty. The musician doesn't reply, he shrugs, eyes never leaving her no matter how deep into the ocean she seems to be. "Does she know?" Harry shakes his head in denial. "Did you bring her along just so you could tell her?"
"I enjoy writing music with her, that's why she's here," his tone leaves no room for more questions, the manager knows and sighs defeated. Harry stands from his spot on the beach and heads back inside the house, alone.
Is he being that obvious?
He reviews the past few days and wonders where he slipped, nothing rings any bell. Harry completely and conveniently forgets how he doesn't nag her for having a smoke after dinner, instead he just opens the window and stands close to it, or how he's been making her a cuppa everyday at noon. But it was the time when Jane asked him to help her French plait her hair when something clicked in Jeff's brain, the way Harry beamed at such a simple request left no room for questioning. Yet he asked him, because there was that tiny chance of it all being part of the manager's imagination, but when he looked back on it, the little things now made more sense to him and in a way he always knew.
They've been in Port Antonio for two weeks now and everything was going just dandy, Harry was writing more than ever, the first week he had a new song every day, he even polished the old ones and had a tune for his favourites, thanks to Mitch's help. When Jeff Azoff got there earlier this week, he spent a good two hours talking to Jeff Bhasker about how much of a good idea the trip was.
"Harry is on a writing spree." He complimented Azoff's client, it was nothing but the truth. However the reason for it all, was now heading back to the house to join the others after a good surfing session.
Jane went straight to take a shower, ready to rinse all the ocean's saltiness from her body, thinking how wonderful it would've been if her own worries could be washed away with her tangerine shampoo. In contrast to Harry's good spirits and excellent mood, her own cloud of trouble seemed to follow her all the way from London. She still hadn't heard from her husband, so it is safe to say he was still upset about her going away to work in Harry's album. It was impossible for her to forget the argument they had, at first thinking it was a joke on his side, insinuating that they were ‘shagging behind his back’.
After her shower, wearing comfortable clothes, Jane joins the others for supper but keeps to herself, still with the dichotomy about calling Alex or letting him be. He will eventually come to his senses and apologise.
What if he doesn't?
The thought alone of her clothes being packed in boxes by the time she gets back home almost makes her cry, perhaps she can call or text him just to test the waters. It is ridiculous how she seems to be more mature about this than him.
"Penny for them?" Harry's voice brings her back to the now empty dining room, the voices from the rest of their party can be heard from the living room.
"God I'm sorry H, lost myself out there for a moment," she is embarrassed, with him, the others and herself for letting this situation get under her skin. And she's also avoiding talking about it, with Harry or anyone. "I was just thinking about the tempo for Sweet Creature."
"Liar," he hates to be shut down by her more than anything. "Is it because I didn't let you eat the last peanut drop the other day?" It would've been easier for her to say it was, than to address the actual reason. But Harry hasn't lied to her, ever.
"No love, although I was a bit hurt because of that, it's actually this thing with Alex we are, I don't know, he was upset with me and said some things," Jane couldn't finish, her speech was cut short by a quiet sob and Harry was quick to pull her from the chair onto his lap and hold her tight. His own heart speeding at the sight of her distressed.
"When was the last time you spoke to him?"
"Two weeks ago." Her voice barely whispers on his chest, "he's being a wanker to be honest, just because he's not going on tour with any of his bands I'm supposed to be a stay at home wife!"
"Why don't you explain this to me, from the beginning, please?" He asks rubbing her back soothingly, and she spills it all, the having kids now or never argument, to her wanting to have a proper wedding party and finally the latest fight where Alex suggested an affair going on between her and Harry, the latter had to do his best not to put the option on the table, since her husband so kindly suggested it. Might as well, he thought. "It all sounds like a big misunderstanding, I know you're a great communicator sunshine, so it baffles me that you've let this go on for so long." He's got a point.
"You're right, but I feel like it's his turn, you know?" Jane's done weeping, but remained on her friend's lap and arms, head resting on his shoulder. "He's always forward, mature, a proper thirty year old except when it comes to arguments where we ought to reach an agreement," she plays a bit with the cross hanging from his neck, a scowl on her pretty face. "Like with the children thing, we only stopped arguing when I said that maybe in two more years we could have one instead of, you know, my early thirties." It's good that she can't see how upset Harry is.
"You gave into that one, he should do the same but it's his choice," Harry sighs and can't believe what he's about to say. "Take the day off tomorrow, call him or FaceTime, Skype whatever you choose, but have a proper conversation with him." She wants to argue and say it's not necessary to be absent the whole day, she can spare a few hours. But she will need time to think about what to say, make her point clear so they are on good terms until she goes back to London.
"Fine, but if he is still acting like a dickhead afterwards, I'm not going to let it into my head anymore, we will continue to bask in this great work environment going on here." Jane states, pulling away from his embrace just enough to give him that stern look she uses when trying to make a point, and Harry nods with a warm smile, the one she never gets tired of seeing. "I'll call it a night now, gonna be asleep in seconds now that I've got that out of my chest." She stands from his lap, missing his warmth instantly. "Thanks for that."
"Anytime honey pie." Harry says before leaving a kiss on her left hand that burns her skin from then till morning.
Jeff joins the musician in the dining room right after the girl walks away to her room, he takes a seat across from him and scrutinises the look of adoration his friend still sports once she is out of the room.
"She'll never know, if you never tell her." Jeff is right, but the thought alone of going through that again scares him to death. Or so he says, because there's a part of him that is fond of the thrill it makes him feel.
"It's not like I haven't tried, just last year I told her," Harry remembers that night vividly, how pretty she looked even with her makeup all smudged under her eyes. "I'm not sure if she heard, it was too loud like where we were at the time." He was also pissed out of his mind.
"H, there's nothing wrong with being in love."
"I'm not saying it is, but even if she did love me I– I would find a way to hurt her. Anyway. she's happily married now, it's too late." Saying it out loud doesn't hurt him any less like he thought it would. Harry sighs in defeat before rising from the chair, "she's everything to me, I wouldn't mess with her head by confessing my feelings, deep down I always knew she deserved better and now she has it and that's good enough for me." The musician disappears through the corridor where his everlasting love did just a few minutes ago, he paused for a moment outside her room, pondering whether to barge in and just follow his instincts, kiss her like he should've done after winning that award back in 2014.
Harry shakes his head and goes straight to his room, he reminds himself that it was time to let her go. It's for the best. He is not good enough for her, he can't even write a song for her, about her. He mustn't love her that much then.
What Harry doesn't know is that he can't write a song about her because he loves her too much, the poor lad can't even figure out where to start. But he's about to get rid of that curse in a day or two, he just needs to be patient.
The reward for it came, all of a sudden Harry wrote too many songs about her until she inevitably became aware of the situation they were in. Harry vowed to stay away from Jane’s life after recording the album. He dated people that didn’t remind him of her, and even moved temporarily to Japan. But despite all his efforts, four years later Harry still finds himself thinking about her, everything seems to be tainted by her. The music he adores, the new dinner recipes he cooks, the books he chooses to read.
Completely out of options he agreed to this blind date his friends set up for him.
He arrives at the modest restaurant they so kindly chose for the occasion. “All you have to do is wear something nice and show up.” Alexa reminded him over the phone last week.
This is a new first for him, it is also exciting, to take a seat at a table for two conveniently placed at the back, pretend to pay attention to the menu but let his green eyes avert to whoever approaches. Harry is having a great time, he knows that soon his date will arrive. He wonders what they’ll be like.
According to Alexa and Pixie, the person arriving is the perfect match for their young friend. Harry can only hope they like Vietnamese cuisine because that’s apparently this place’s special offer this week. If he’s lucky enough the date will agree to share a starter and perhaps two main courses, that way he doesn’t have to choose between one or the other.
“Here’s your table.” Harry hears the waiter speak and his gaze meets a very familiar figure standing beside him. It can’t be.
“Excuse me, there must be a mistake, I’m waiting for someone else.” Harry protests.
The waiter shakes his head and shows him the notepad with some specifications written down. “Nothing wrong, got specific instructions from Miss Chung, a lady will come in to say is here for Geldolf’s blind date, you are sitting at the table they reserved. I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your order.” He is quick to explain and disappear.
Jane sits because there is no way she can stand any longer, her legs are about to give out from the commotion. This was not the blind date she was expecting either. It’s been at least four years since she last saw Harry. The night after he finally admitted being in love with her, waiting for a reaction, anything from her, after what seemed like hours but was only ten minutes later, he walked out of her house and entire life, leaving her confused and upset.
“How’ve you been?” she asked after confirming that Harry wasn’t going to up and leave.
“Pretty fantastic, until you arrived.” He’s never spoken to her like that before, with so much affliction in his tone. “What are you doing here?”
“I was set up on a blind date by Pixie—
He interrupts her. “That’s fucking convenient, did you all went to this much trouble, just to mock me? I thought they were my friends, you know, that even after everything, they cared about me.” Harry stops, his voice breaks, he’s so angry, hurt and confused by the situation. “Did your husband come along, to witness my humiliation too?” He looks around, trying to find the man of Jane’s dreams.
“I wouldn’t know if he’s here, haven’t seen him since we got divorced three years ago.” She snaps before hiding behind the menu from a gobsmacked Harry.
The words he’d been waiting to hear were finally out of her mouth. Unlike the million times he dreamt about this happening, Harry is not sweeping her off her feet and running away into the sunset holding her hand. Instead he reaches out to touch her arm, testing the waters. He waits for her to lower the menu and surprisingly there are no tears in her eyes. Perhaps only a bit of sorrow that is quickly replaced with confusion, at how fast her heart raced after Harry’s touch.
“Do you want to talk about it?” His voice is back to oozing the tenderness he reserves just for her. Jane nods.
“But can we share a rice bowl and Pho noodle soup?”
“Yes, and dessert too!” Even after four years Harry’s sweet tooth hasn’t changed, Jane sighs before the waiter is back to take their order.
Keeping a conversation between the two of them is not hard at all, even if it is an awkward topic —her not so recent divorce. “We didn’t have anything in common anymore, there were so many fights every single day. When I finally suggested the separation, he seemed relieved and I felt like a complete fool.” Jane remembers the sigh of comfort that came out of the man she once loved with all her heart before that rainy afternoon, when she finally decided that she’d had enough. “He left that night, hadn’t seen him since, his lawyer took care of everything,” a sour laugh escapes her lips, Harry’s eyes are full of sympathy for her. “I’m sorry for ruining your blind date, I know you’ve never been to one before.” Of course she did, she knows him better than anyone.
“This has to be the greatest date I’ve ever been to.” He speaks without a second thought.
All those years Harry spent away from Jane were not going to be in vain. He was not going to neglect the feelings he still had for her. That affection he felt for her, only her. Harry shifts in his seat, this is not at all how he planned it, in a restaurant full of people on fucking Valentine’s day. It almost seemed like a tacky move.
But after all this time of pining for her, hating her and himself at times. Harry was brave enough, it was now or never, he didn’t want to wait any longer, not after his friends schemed and executed this soppy plan to bring the two soulmates together. Before she could take the final bite of dessert that Harry kindly left for her. The world stopped.
“I don’t want this to end...” Harry says with a dimpled smile she can’t look away from. “I’d like to take you out on a second date, a third, fourth, fifth. Believe me when I tell you, I have planned up to a thousand of them.” He takes her hand in his and can feel her pulse race along his own. The smile splits his face again, because he knows, he feels, he sees it in her beautiful eyes. “Janey, you’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to hold on to. I know there is a name for this emotion, I’ve written songs about it, but now I don’t think it’s a word big enough for us.”
She squeezes his hand and breaths out a laugh, tears of joy brimming out of her eyes. “Let’s call it love, until we come up with a better name for it.” Harry agrees and just then, Jane brings up his hand to her lips.
His skin tingles where she kisses him for the first time and he beams at her.
There’s a first for everything, and although it feels like it for Jane and Harry, this isn’t by any means the first time they confess their love for each other. It was always there, in every laugh they shared, every song they wrote together, every touch. It was on Harry’s unwavering devotion, on his impatience and selfless actions throughout the years.
They were bound to be together, their story didn’t begin on that initial blind date, it did years ago after he caught a glimpse of her shiny black hair on the morning she moved into the house across the street.
Harry drives her back to her new flat on the other side of the city, enjoying every minute of the long ride, happy to hear her ramble about her newest obsession with romantic novels and burst out laughing after Jane confesses that sometimes she doesn’t finish reading books she likes, just to pretend the story keeps going. With a quick kiss to the back of her hand he completely agrees.
No tale is more compelling than one that never ends.
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you know? speaking of demon lovin' i gotta go back in there and fix a couple of things
i've been slowly rereading it (i absolutely cannot chew through my own fanfics without groaning at how stiff every single sentence is, so i usually can't do it) and i've been realizing that it honestly sounds like a pilot episode.
like, it DOES! all the characters are there but i can feel how i wasn't certain how to make them mesh together. i've gotten the hang of it now (it's been like six months since i started this au, after all) so i know how to mish and mash and mesh the three of them to make it work. but the first chapter especially is lacking some of the things that i thought i had put in it, or some things that don't work at all anymore.
let's go over some of the things i wanna put in it!!! because what else is there to do? i'm not at all procrastinating writing. whatsoever.
at all
1) the first chapter is absolutely missing more marinette and adrien bickering with each other. point blank.
i wouldn't even consider the "arguing" that they do in the first chapter to be enough in the slightest. they don't even argue. they're even friendly and "amiable", if that's close enough terms.
which is fine!!! which is lovely!!!!! but i want them to get under each other's nerves!!! where's the tension?! where's the "oh lord oh lord i want her so badly" ? where's the scene where luka just asks them to go get a room already???
christ, where's the scene where marinette just. grabs their faces and they freeze because marinette is a very touchy person and they're not used to it and make it more cohesive, izy, let them be caught of guard by marinette's actions, so that it fits in with the rest of the chapters!!!
like, i've written that adrien and marinette used to argue, but i haven't actually had them snipping at each other aside from like bits and pieces in the following chapters-- i really want to shimmy in a couple of pieces of dialogue in there where they're arguing about something at the bar and luka's trying his best not to roll his eyes or just plain quit from how annoying the two of them can get. even before the initial competition that sends the entire rest of the "plot" (gratuitous use of that word, i am aware) into motion.
give me marinette grabbing for adrien's hand or patting his arm while the three of them are having a conversation, sending adrien into a brain freeze!!!!! let marinette kiss luka's hand!!!!! which is very important to the plot, actually. let marinette kiss the both of their hands. was that even proper english? you know what i mean!!!! give me more touchy touchy personalization of these characters, past izy, i'm yearning to see how they differ showing their affections to each other!!!!
2) I NEED TO FIX LUKA'S AGE
i don't think i need to explain this, but in chapter three i wrote that "luka is older than adrien by 3,000 or so years" which is, like, not wrong? but also, no, he's much older. i mean. duh.
but would that give anything away, i feel like? i mean, anyone who wants to find out the "truth" about luka would have to read wing showin'/fallin' but, like. maybe i could've added a little bit more luka. i think this is why i felt like i was focusing too much on marinette/adrien's side of the relationship, which drove me to come up with the idea in the first place-- this bitch doesn't have any backstory at all in demon lovin'. das my own fault. i wanna fix that.
maybe i was too busy writing about other things (and a few come to mind, mainly, the whole PWP part of the fic). the only person in this fic who really had a thing going on was marinette, who was the star of the show. i wouldn't change that in the slightest! but maybe i would've left some more hints in demon lovin' that luka isn't a demon after all. i don't think the first-time reader cares all that much. but it's the continuity that's really getting to me.
this really does stem from like, me not actually knowing what i wanted luka to be, which is hilarious, given that he's my favorite of the three (that's not true. they're all my favorites. but i'll take a bullet for him. he's a centimeter higher than adrien and marinette. a millimeter. micrometer... mmmm. maybe i have a bias.) but now that i know what luka is and wasn't, i gotta find a way to incorporate a couple of lines in there. none of these changes will be rewriting a whole chapter, or anything!!! they're just bits and pieces of dialogue that no one will hardly notice.
3) nath isn't the enemy!!!!
we're getting into the whole this >
territory again, but okay. so.
i promise (promise!!!) you that i have a fic in the works where i convince you that he's a good person-- all the meanwhile providing lukadrien-but-only-because-marinette's-at-work content (you'll understand when this fic ever comes out, not to worry, it will be an attempt at comedy.) you know, i'm gonna have to make a timeline just to keep track of what fic goes where. hold that thought. he's just a man who was in love who came home one day to see his entire Cradle metaphorically on fire and factions starting between his own polycule!!!! he wants his Cradler back!!!!! this isn't game of thrones, this is just nath wanting his life back together. and he needs the only person on earth that could possibly herd the succubi sheep back together, mariiiiii.
i wish i had made him more sympathetic, but still have him be annoying enough so that adrien and luka have no reason to be fond of him. maybe i'll go back and tweak some of his dialogue.
if you need me, i'll be continuing my slow pace reading through demon lovin' in preparation to write the prequel!!!! even though i'm still procrastinating. procrastinatin'.
#speakizys#long post#loooonnggg post#i am so sorry omg#you'd think this was a chapter of a fanfic from how much i talked holy jesus#demon lovin
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