idk. little tempted to make an mlm/nblm tumblr discord server.

trans asks gimme the trans asks

1. How did you choose your name?

trial and error

2. What gives you the most dysphoria? (Acknowledging that not all trans people experience dysphoria)

having to shave

3. Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?

social

4. What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?

talk to friends who see me as myself

5. What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?

idk i was probably in college

6. When did you realize you were transgender?

i don’t think it really set in until i was 20 or 21

7. What is your favorite part of being transgender?

being sexy and epic

8. How would you explain your gender identity to others?

i’m girl but i also have no gender. but i have all the genders. and i’m baby.

9. How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?

i think i mainly used social media to come out

10. What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?

haven’t tried

11. What are your experiences with binding or tucking?

haven’t tried. i’ve worn binders, but i’m amab. i just like how they feel

12. Do you pass?

god no

13. What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?

i’m still not sure, i don’t know if i’ll medically transition at all tbh. can’t get over my fears of surgery and pills

14. How long have you been out?

a couple years i think?

15. What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

basically all of them. mlm, genderfluid, demiboy, nonbinary, lesbian, bi/pan, aroace.... yeehaw.

16. Have you ever experienced transphobia?

probably, but i’m very naïve

17. What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?

usually i go to the boys’ bathroom because i don’t wanna get beat up. if there’s a gender-neutral bathroom i will use it about 80% of the time

18. How does your family feel about your trans identity?

i think they’re slowly accepting it, but they really suck at using my pronouns

19. Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?

no, i don’t want to

20. What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?

it’s okay to be a girl

21. Why do you use the pronouns you use?

comforble

22. Do your neurodivergencies affect your gender?

yeah

23. What’s your biggest trans-related fear?

other than like straight-up getting murdered, probably just not being able to transition

24. What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?

i’ve come out to most people in my life, but medically i haven’t done anything.

25. What do you wish cis people understood?

how much their words can hurt

26. What impact has being trans affected your life?

helped me make a lot of nice friends

27. What do you do to validate yourself?

i save things on tumblr to look at later

28. How do you feel about trans representation in media?

shrugs. i don’t consume a lot of media but i think it would be cool to have more trans rep

29. Who is your favorite trans celebrity?

nat /@/ puff aka left at london

30. Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?

probably like, my fiancé tbh (does olives is out their bf????)

31. How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?

i mostly just try to be a good role model and mentor to younger trans folks.

32. How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?

probably similar to how i am now, i’d like to try wearing more dresses and skirts and like. fishnets and ripped jeans and the whole punk look,,,, but realistically i will probably just be sitting here in a t-shirt, boxer briefs, and sweatpants

33. What trans issue are you most passionate about?

it should be easier to legally change your name, and also trans fucking rights babey

34. What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?

you’re valid and beautiful and i want to give you lots of hugs

35. How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

hm. i’m fairly privileged so i guess i can’t speak for some of these, but i do consider myself disabled. i dunno how they interact though *shrugs*

36. What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?

i identify as nonbinary, but i would like to express myself more femininely. androgyny would be good too though

37. Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?

feminine

38. What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?

i just use queer at this point tbh

39. Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?

t4t gang babey

40. How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

i simply sit here and vibe

41. What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?

@transgenderteensurvivalguide​ is good

42. Do you interact with other trans people IRL?

yes but not enough of them. want more trans friends

43. Are you involved in any trans-related activism?

kinda casually, but yeah

44. Free space! Answer any question you want, or make up your own question to answer.

my bonus question is uhhhhh i love u @literally-an-envelope will u marry me

Valentine’s Day Dance

Okay, so I’m a couple hours late on this, but I made it through all the distractions to finally bring you my first completed fic in over a year! This is my gift to @mlm-benvolio​ for the RvB Valentine’s Day gift exchange and first time posting one of my works to Tumblr. Enjoy. (will fix formatting if needed) @rvbgiftexchange Ship(s): Grimmons w/background Docnut and Locoboose and mentioned Tuckington 1,800+ words    "Dude, if you don't ask him out, I'm not talking to you ever again."        The lanky red-head gave out a sharp, fake gasp at those words, closing his locker and holding the non-robotic hand to his chest and faking a hurt expression. "You wouldn't. Who else would I talk to?"        "Wouldn't I?" This led to a full two minute stare-down between them both before a taller boy came by and picked up his older brother, squeezing him tight.     "Tucker! I just asked Loco to the Valentine's dance!"        "Okay, if Caboose can ask Loco, you can totally ask Dex," Lavernius gasped out, struggling to get out of his adopted brother's tight grasp. "Seriously, though, what's taking you so long? We all know you like him. Well, except maybe Dex himself."    

   Slinging his bag onto his shoulder, Richard just thought this over a bit as the three headed for the student parking lot. Passing through the commons, they noticed Franklin hugging Frank tight, but not nearly as tight as Michael had done to his brother. The blond noticed them and quickly broke the hug, dragging his boyfriend over to them. Before he could even say a word, Richard stopped him.    "He just asked you out to the dance?"        "Yes!! Has Dex asked you yet? Cause then we could go suit shopping together!" As usual, his younger brother was way too excited about these things than anyone had a right to be, but Franklin had always loved dressing up and going to parties.         "Dude, you don't need to go out and buy a whole suit for this. Not like it's prom," Lavernius told the junior. "Just pick something nice you already have. And can someone please tell Rich here that there's no way Dex would turn him down?"        Franklin's head perked up at that, looking his older brother dead in the eyes. "Rich, if he doesn't say yes, he's an idiot and in denial. He's been over for dinner more this year than the last three combined."        "I rest my case. Now c'mon, I've got a baby who's probably driving my dad up the walls."        Once out in the parking lot, Richard looked around for Dexter's old beater that was in this horrible, bright orange with the doors painted an even brighter yellow. Apparently having sensed his rising anxiety, F.I.L.S.S. started playing music from his relaxation playlist through the headphones around his neck that were connected to his prosthetic arm. "Thanks," he muttered to the AI before speaking up to get his younger brother's attention, giving the keys an underhand toss. "I'm gonna go find Dex. I'll be home in time to make dinner, promise." All of the other teens smiled at him as he jogged off, going up and down the rows to hopefully beat Dexter to his own car.        Thankfully he'd made it just a couple minutes before the shorter senior came over, drinking a soda that he'd gotten from one of the vending machines. "Oh, hey, man. Not goin' home yet?"        "Told Franklin I'd be back to start dinner. Wanted to hang out with you a bit." Dex raised an eyebrow at this but just shrugged, unlocking the car and getting in. It didn't take long for Richard to realize they weren't going to the middle school to pick up Kai. "Uhh. . . ."        "Relax, she's spending the weekend with some friends at a sleepover since our parents are out of town."        "So you're staying home alone? All weekend?"        "Yep."    Somehow this felt like the perfect opportunity to finally suck it up and ask him. No Kai around to spy on them, and nothing embarrassing to try explaining to their adopted parents. So far, so good. When they got to the Grifs' house, both teens kicked off their shoes and put their backpacks by the door, Richard setting up Halo 12 while Dexter went to the kitchen to grab some drinks and some chips. He made sure the red head was getting a thing of carrot juice, while he grabbed another soda for himself. "So, what's up? Normally you give me a heads up before showing up at my car."     "Eh, just didn't wanna hear Franklin talk my ear off about matching suits with Frank or whatever. Also hoping to avoid having Tucker call me to complain how stupid it is that he can't invite Wash to the dance. Pretty likely he'd also complain about Caboose not shutting up about asking Loco out."     "Are those two actually dating or . . . . ?"     "Dunno. But they're definitely going to the dance together." They sat in silence for a few minutes, trying to play a couple practice games of capture the flag before deciding whether or not they wanted to do an online match. "So, uh, are you going with anyone? If at all?"     "Maybe? No one's asked yet, and I'm not sure anyone would really wanna go with me. You going?"     Richard just shrugged before recoiling a bit at a sudden, sharp pain in his arm. "Ow! F.I.L.S.S.!"     "My apologies. I must have hit a wrong nerve trying to move the fingers."     The taller teen glared down at his metallic arm for a second, going back to their game and attempting to continue the conversation. "Been thinking about it. Had sort of an idea who to ask. Besides, Sarge'd want me to go to keep an eye on Franklin anyway."     "Good ol' Sarge."     Feeling the AI in control of his arm in the back of his head and ready to send more shocks up his arm, Richard took a deep breath. "Do you wanna go to the dance? With . . . . me? Maybe? You don't have to, y'know, but if you want, it'd be nice. But you don't have to!"     "Dick?"     "Yeah?"     "Course, dumbass. Who else would I go with?"     About an hour later, the lanky teen found himself back home and in-between on steps in cooking dinner, Franklin bouncing in place as he sat on the counter, watching impatiently. "So?"     "So what?"     "Did you ask him?"     "Did Rich ask who what?" Sarge asked, coming into the kitchen to see what his boys were talking about.     "Richard asked Dexter to the dance this Valentine's Day," F.I.L.S.S. spoke up for the boy, knowing he was too nervous from earlier still to hold any sort of conversation.     "Bout dang time, son. You been fawnin' over him for the last four years now. How late's the dance s'posed ta go?"     "11:30 the latest," the blond teen answered back, their dad just nodding, knowing he could trust them both to not stay out too late.     Later that night, Franklin had texted Lavernius the good news, and the two proceeded to gush over this new development together, the older of the two saying he was afraid they wouldn't ask each other out until well after they graduated in a few months. The next few days were then spent with both of them trying to pick out a classy outfit to the dance, Lavernius saying he'd probably have to take Dexter shopping if the man had any hope of looking decent. So by the time the dance was there, their entire group showed up dressed in black slacks(minus Franklin who was in white with Frank), and they all had their own solid-color button-ups.     Loco and Michael tried splitting their time between the dance floor and eating snacks, while Franklin couldn't sit down from sheer excitement. Richard was too awkward to even attempt dancing, so he was glad to hang back and have some snacks with Dexter, making sure the shorter male didn't get the shirt or pants Lavernius had bought too messy. Speaking of which, he hadn't seen the darker skinned teen since getting into the main hall. This wasn't going to end well. . . .     "So, probably brought this up sooner, but why did you ask me here? I mean, we're not dating or whatever Loco and Caboose are."     "And you call me the dumbass. . . . I kinda thought it'd be obvious? I asked you out to the Valentine's Day dance. Should be pretty self-explanatory."     Dexter nodded a bit, eating a few more bites of his snacks. "True. But I wanna hear you say it."     Now Richard's face was starting to turn a similar shade of red as his hair, if just a shade darker. It wasn't a nearly full-body blush like Wash was known to get from time-to-time, but it did make his freckles blend together a bit. Just as she had last week, F.I.L.S.S. threatened to shock him again if he didn't speak up soon. Her personality had been really weird since Thanksgiving, he'd have to talk to Dr. Church about that.     "I- I like you, okay? I missed you a lot after you had to leave, and then you came back and I thought things'd be like when we were kids again, but it wasn't, and it still isn't, which I think is okay, y'know? We still bicker a lot sometimes, but it's not like when we were little. And you're always there for me when I need it, and you didn't hate me when you found out about me being a boy. Still can't believe you outed me in bio, though. I know, it was an accident. But you're my best friend, and I don't think I would've wanted to ask anyone else to come with me." Taking a deep breath, he started calming down a bit. "Honestly, it was probably a good thing you had to leave cause I think even when we were kids I had a crush on you. And I don't think I could've sorted that out on my own if you were still living with us."     "Huh. Good to know. I like you a lot, too. Thought about you the whole time I was gone. I mean, hard not to, considering you're why I was able to get my skin grafts. So even though you weren't around, you kinda were?" Side-eyeing the other, Dexter noticed the blush had gotten darker "So . . . are we dating now?"    "I think so? If you want to, anyway."     "Cool, guess I can finally do this," the heavier teen said, more of to himself, before leaning over and kissing his now-boyfriend, able to feel the heat radiate off his face from how flushed he was. It was at that moment that a bright flash got their attention, making them look up and see the overhead balcony where one Lavernius Tucker Church stood with his phone out, cheering in triumph.     "Finally! I've waited four years for this!" he cheered before running off to find his younger brother for safety.     "Wha- Tucker, no, I wanna dance with Loco more!" the younger boy tried telling him, as he tried climbing up his back and onto his shoulders. Lavernius just reassured him it'd just be for a little bit, to protect him from Dexter.     "Okay, Tucker's officially the group dumbass now."

85 Statements

I was tagged by @catthefearless Thank you!!

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

LAST

1. drink - Sparkling water.

2. phone call - Ummm...probably ordering dinner to go from Giovanni’s last week.

3. text message - My mama asking if I want to check out a new coffee place when she gets off work. (Answer: Fuck yeah!)

4. song you listened to - “Wrong Crowd” by my beautiful child Tom Odell

5. time you cried - Uh...last week after my employment counselor appointment. Cuz insecurity is a mutha!

EVER

6. dated someone twice? - Yes, because young and stupid/insecure (see a pattern forming?)

7. kissed someone and regretted it - There are a couple I side-eye, but regret? No.

8. been cheated on - Yes, but I’ve also cheated.

9. lost someone special - Yes.

10. been depressed - I experience bouts of frustration and disappointment, with and in life in general.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - A number of times. I can no longer drink rum.

FAV COLORS

12. Midnight blue

13. Emerald green.

14. Lavender.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. made new friends - Yes! Thank you tumblr!

16. fallen out of love - No.

17. laughed until you cried - Maybe?

18. found out someone was talking about you - No.

19. met someone who changed you - No.

20. found out who your friends are - Yes.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - No.

GENERAL

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life? - Most of them, I think. I’m still waiting for the day the website, along with Mark Zuckerberg, gets shot into the sun.

23. do you have any pets - My genday conure Butchie my Buddy bird.

24. do you want to change your name - I dumped my last name last fall for my maternal grandfather’s birth name. My first name is 500% me.

25. what did you do for your last birthday - Got the slip-on checker board vans I’ve wanted since junior high and had dinner with my mom and nephew at Cracker Barrel cuz that shit is my JAM!

26. what time did you wake up today - 8am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - Reading “Kidnapped by the Pirate” by Keira Andrews, a most excellent mlm historical romance.

28. what is something you can’t wait for - To be employed, earning decent money, so I can FINALLY GO TO NEW ZEALAND FFS!

30. what are you listening to right now - I’m watching “It Came from Outer Space” (1953)

31. have you ever talked to a person named Tom - This is funny, because I was recently trying to remember when the last time I knew someone named Tom was. Junior High maybe?

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - I haven’t been to New Zealand yet, which is really starting to piss me off.

33. most visited website - Tumblr, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube.

34. hair color - Currently John Frieda’s Brilliant Brunette (3N) which is a wonderful deep chocolate brown, what I call Arwen/Frodo brown. It’s dark without making me look washed out. Perfect.

35. long or short hair - It’s a toss up between a Louise Brooks bob and mid-neck length. Anything longer, on me, is pointless.

36. do you have a crush on someone - I’m kinda torn between Martin Freeman, Jack White, and NY attorney general Eric Schneiderman.

37. what do you like about yourself- I can’t give up and I will never settle.

38. want any piercings? - No.

39. blood type - O negative. I’m UNIVERSAL BABY!

40. nicknames - Steesh, Bobeesh

41. relationship status - happily single.

42. zodiac - Pisces

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave TV shows - Hawaii 5-0 (original), Wild Wild West, Route 66, Perry Mason, X-Files, Twin Peaks, Hannibal, Streets of San Francisco, WKRP in Cincinnati, Unsolved Mysteries...

45. tattoos - No, but I have a list of the ones I want.

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - I had an emergency appendectomy right before my 13th birday.

48. piercings - 2

49. sport - my ex was an Aikido instructor, so I have a brown belt, but I gaven’t trained in a really long time.

50. vacation - About a year and half ago, Mum and I went to Boise, Idaho to check it out as a possible place to move to. It was nice, but we’ve scratched it off the list. Now we’re looking at Virginia.

51. trainers - since Nike bought Converse (fuck you very much), I am now a 500% Vans girl.

MORE GENERAL

52. eating - The last thing I ate was chicken shawarma with basmati rice and hummus. So freaking good.

53. drinking - I’m a coffee girl and I love a good lavender mocha.

54. I’m about to watch - it’s bed time. Gotta do my Italian (Duolingo) then reading.

55. waiting for - me to be at a point where I can start being paid for building freaking websites so I can go to freaking New Zealand!

56. want - To be paid.

57. get married - I’ve never believed in the institution.

58. career - I wanna make pretty, responsive web sites that achieve high seo rankings - AND GET PAID!

59. hugs or kisses - I like them both, as long as it’s someone I want to be doing it with. I would kind of like to kiss a boy whose name I don’t know and then never see him again.

60. lips or eyes - For me it’s the holy trinity; eyes, nose, lower lip.

61. shorter or taller - At 5’7” I feel taller than most other women. If we’re talking guys...I’ve had both, but prefer taller.

62. older or younger - Age is irrelevant, unless they’re really young. I abide by the equation (half your age plus 7)

63. nice arms or stomach - How about hands?

64. hookup or relationship - I’ve never experienced a hookup, but I never say never.

65. troublemaker or hesitant - I’m game as long as no one is getting hurt and no laws are being broken and no assholery is being committed.

HAVE YOU EVER

66. kissed a stranger - once, a long time ago.

67. drank hard liquor - Yup.

68. lost glasses - Sunnies? Yes. Readers? Between Mum and I, there are like twenty pairs floating around the house, so that’s a big no. Have broken quite a few, however.

70. sex on the first date - Ewww, no! Unless...

71. broken someone’s heart - Yes. My one big regret.

72. had your heart broke - Yes, but no.

73. been arrested - No

74. cried when someone died - No

75. fallen for a friend - Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

76. yourself - Fuck yeah!

77. miracles - No.

78. love at first sight - I believe in the chemical reaction that happens in the brain when physical attraction occurs.

79. santa claus - Fuck yeah Santa RULES!

80. kiss on a first date - Yes.

81. angels - No.

OTHER

82. best friend’s name - Her name’s Shannon and she’s my mom.

83. eye color - Green.

84. fave movie - The Three Musketeers (1973), The Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit (Jackson), Casablanca, Jaws, Dracula (1931), The Big Sleep, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. I’d also like to give a big shout out to the entire genre of 40s/50s Film Noir as well as 1950s SciFi and teen exploitation films, that shit gives me life!

85. fave actor - Humphrey Bogart, Raymond Burr, Jack Lord, Elizabeth Taylor, Marilyn Monroe, Katherine Hepburn, Cate Blanchett, Mads Mikkelsen, Peter Lorre, Bela Lugosi, Jack Lemmon, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Laird Creager (btw...if you don’t know who that is, Google him! He was a queer actor who died way too young, right before his career was on the verge of really taking off. Some say his would’ve been not unlike that of Vincent Price, another one of my most very favorites. Check out “The Lodger” from 1944. It’s a take on Jack the Ripper and he is BRILLIANT! It also stars George Sanders and Merle Oberon.)

I’m not tagging anyone specifically, therefore I tag EVERYONE! Let us know who you are, and please tag me if you do!😍