Y’all I’m not joking I’m Mad, like I could cry mad, for Quinta. I know as her fan and I’m sure for other fans this was a Big Deal. I’ve been watching Quinta since her first sketch on buzzfeed. I loved her and watched whatever she was in, and I and her fans have been waiting for everyone else to notice how fucking brilliant she. The excitement to finally have her up on that stage, recognized by the best in the Industry that Quinta Brunson is a fantastic writer, an even better one as a new name than writers who’ve been around in hollywood forever, was uncontrollable to feel. And for Jimmy Kimmel, to take away her moment? Her moment to bare her heart if she wanted, to bask in the glow of her hard work getting the recognition it deserves, was despicable. FUCKER decides to act like a DEAD BODY!? What is wrong with that entitled selfish man? Who does he think he is to act so rudely and immaturely towards a women he hosted? And is accepting an award for the first time for Her Show? It’s a huge deal for Quinta, sorry it’s not for you Mr “I’ve been (unfortunately) shoving my existence in the public eye for decades as a famous ass, so these signs of privilege and luxury don’t impress me” Kimmel. I wish Quinta stepped on your fingers and because you doubled down on your Stupid dead body joke you couldn’t move, and then I wish Zeus would just strike you down after, because fuck you

Edit: muted this monstrosity but if you're looking for the blank template it's on my blog and I'll tag this and it with "the stupid fucking shorts post" so you don't have to scroll through everything 💀😂 (I did not make the template btw, I don't know who the OP is but if you do please let me know)

Apparently the oscars haven't learned their lesson from last years oscar

Bro when did Jimmy Kimmel join mcr?

DANIEL: Put your hands above mine. You can touch if you like - it's fine

KIMMEL: [caresses Daniel's face]

I NEED J*MMY K* MMEL TO APOLOGIZE FOR THAT “ JOKE” ABOUT RDJ’S STRUGGLE W/ DRUGS. - here’s the interaction between rdj and jimmy from an article-

“This is the highest point of Robert Downey Jr.'s long and illustrious career — well, one of the highest points," Kimmel

When the camera cut to Downey Jr., he put his finger on his nose.

“Is that too on-the-nose, or is that a drug motion you're making?" Kimmel quipped, to which Downey Jr. replied, "Keep it going, keep it going" as he made a rolling motion with his fingers.

Did you want my notes on Strike Force Five episode one? No? TOO BAD! YOU'RE GETTING THEM!

(Heavy spoilers for episode 1 if you plan on listening soon!)

- I love the show's overall vibe and the "roles" that all of the guys play. It's definitely a free-wheeling, off the rails kind of show, where everyone is rambling over each other; the personalities involved can make or break this kind of podcast, and everyone thankfully is playing to their strengths.

Kimmel serves as the overall show runner and is seemingly the only one endeavoring to keep anything on track, which is a slightly thankless job with this group, but he's got a soundboard and all his radio experience guiding him. Colbert also leans into being the other "elder statesman", as it were, but is much easier to derail (and provides his own episode eclipsing derail I'll talk about later). Fallon is surprisingly reserved and a bit awkward - I'm not the hugest fan of Fallon, but in this podcast, that energy serves him pretty well. Kimmel introduces Seth as "the cute one" and he seems the most neutral so far, just there to ask questions and crack jokes. And John is their super sarcastic "evil teammate" who occasionally interjects to just destroy everyone. Perfect dynamics, 10/10, no notes.

- Seth qualifies his eyes as ocean blue. John says they're Gatorade blue. I don't think I've ever laughed harder at a description of someone's eyes.

- There's a point where I assume there must have been a really blunt edit, because Fallon changes the topic abruptly to having a doctorate. Otherwise, I love the image of Fallon just sitting on that revelation and WAITING, BURSTING to talk about how he has a doctorate, while everyone else talks about Kimmel getting paid summers off.

- Everyone mention multiple times that they have sponsors and are doing this show to help pay their staff during the strikes, which is lovely. This does not mean they aren't taking the piss out of their sponsors. I never thought I'd hear worse ad copy reading than I do on The Jeff Gerstmann Show (I love Jeff, don't get me wrong, but his ad copy screaming is hilariously bad), but the Casamigos ad in this is something else. John spends most of his reading time shitting on a bleeped-out competitor that he calls "not fit for human consumption", Stephen says "you're gonna wanna wipe your ass with it" and likens it to the smoothness of sheets you make love on, there's a disembodied "woo" at some point, Seth stumbles all over a few Spanish words, and Fallon delivers his lines in his awful fake French Timothee Chalamet puppet voice. It's pure chaos and I love it so much.

- Kimmel referring to "the despicable Matt Damon" made me so happy.

- John has never done a deposition. Kimmel saying "I'm surprised you're not in prison" gets lost which is sad, that's a fucking hilarious joke.

- Fallon tells an amazing story about his mom being a nun for a week. She left after being reprimanded for taking Lifesavers into the nunnery and then left. My late aunt and best friend, who was also a nun, probably would have loved Jimmy's mom, as she was always going on wine tastings and picked the order she joined entirely based on who would let her continue to drink after taking her vows. Jimmy also has a picture of his mom dressed as a nun holding a doll dressed as a nun, which is absurd and adorable.

- This leads to everyone but Seth confessing that they'd all thought about becoming priests at some point. That doesn't shock me about Stephen at all, tbf, knowing how religious he is.

- I have to shamefully admit that when John mentioned that he told his father he wanted to be a vicar, my brain went to an extremely Fleabag place and I had to rewind the podcast once I snapped out of it and realized I'd missed like 3 minutes of jokes (including a fantastic one from Seth about John having a doll of himself as a child, like Fallon's mom's nun doll).

- "Don't you want a whole new crop of relatives to visit and entertain?" "Do you wanna get cancelled?! :D" The two Jimmys everyone.

- Stephen reveals who he has everyone saved as in his phone, to prevent people from figuring out who his contacts are if his phone gets stolen. John's is Joliver, which 1) was his name as written on TDS scripts to differentiate him from Jon Stewart, and 2) as everyone points out, is a VERY easy code to crack. Don't really need Sherlock for that one.

- ONE OF US ALERT: Stephen collects weird late night shit, like a hat from The Chevy Chase Show (John literally goes "WOW") and a silk jacket from The Pat Sajak Show. I am very jealous of this collection.

- Next episode everyone will talk about first episodes. I cannot wait to hear John talk about how all over the place his first episode is.

- The big story, running joke, and completely wild admission from this episode - Stephen Colbert has a pair of Nicaraguan dictator Anastasio Somoza's pants. Fallon asks how no one outbid him, and it turns out his MOTHER had them BECAUSE SHE DATED HIM. His uncle went to LaSalle Military Academy with Somoza, and Somoza stayed with them during holiday breaks. Everyone else in the room picks up on the idea that Stephen's mom probably slept with a dictator (or as Kimmel says, "made love to a murderer"), Seth claims his mom drinks coffee out of Ferdinand Marcos' skull, and every other male figure Stephen brings up for the rest of the episode is assumed to be someone his mom slept with.

If you asked me before listening to this podcast if I thought there were going to be a pile of elevated "your mom" jokes holding it together, I would have pretty strongly said "no". Surprises at every turn in this pod.

The beginning of this story also captures John SO STRONGLY, and he wants to hear everything about it. Definite Bugle vibes there, this man will never not want to hear about weird dictator facts. He also manages to completely kill Seth by saying "Anastasio Somoza's pants, brought to you by Casamigos".

- Finally, I have already sent an email to the show asking about Planet of the Bass, to make up for my complete failure to ask at the Q&A. I got y'all, we'll get this answer some day.

Jimmy Kimmel making vile jokes at the expense of a person recovered from substance misuse is cruel.

It's not funny, it's cruel. Stop punching down. He's spent 50 years struggling with substances, he's been clean for well on a decade and you pull this shit on the night he is nominated (and wins!!!) an Oscar?

fuck you, Jimmy Kimmel.

aabria is definitely my favorite GM of all time, but there was a small part of me that hoped we'd get to see lou GM for the first time on camera 😔

saw dre and snoop on monday and cried all day yesterday bc em and 50 were in town but i didn't see them

Here are some highlights of Lewis’s interview with Jimmy Kimmel:

• They introduced him as Sir Lewis Hamilton which I loved.

• Jimmy told him he might be the most stylish driver of all time and Lewis said he was.

• Lewis said he doesn’t like driving unless he can go fast, and he says he’s the best passenger though traffic stresses him out.

• He only likes driving back in his hometown where he has a tiny mini-cooper like Mr. Bean’s.

• He talked about how his nieces and nephews call him Sir Uncle and Jimmy told him if he was his nephew he’d call him that all the time too (same).

• Jimmy asked him if he regretted buying the Denver Broncos and he just laughed rip.

• He called Melody his big sis <3

• They asked him if he thinks of himself as the greatest driver of all time and Lewis said “I know how good I am, but I do all my talking on the track”. Hot!

• Lewis told Guillermo he loved him and Guillermo said he loved him too <3

• Lewis talked about his production company and said he wants to tell diverse stories to inspire new generations.

• He also talked about how he was almost in Top Gun: Maverick and how he regrets it so much.

• Finally, he read a few lines off Top Gun and tried to do an american accent… keep your day job baby.

Currently manifesting that NO ONE says or does anything fucking STUPID at the Oscars I stg

https://twitter.com/cpinedaily/status/1571966428907175937?t=vSqm0_m4W0CFAVoDwmuvyw&s=19

Chris stopped all promo too, I love it here

Deaded.

Shoutout to Emma Stone for Calling J*mmy Kimmel a prick. 💀 “he’s a prick”