oh macbeth in the tiniest most intimate theatre where you're within spitting distance of the macbeths rapidly descending into murder and madness whilst whispering in your ear i already miss you. so much.

Hi I'm the June 17th birthday. I couldn't respond to your message on Kofi but I am totally fine with you putting my reading on your blog. Thank you for doing your best to work around the messages issue!

Hi!

Thank you for buying me this delicious hot beverage. I drank irish cream black coffee with rice milk while writing your interpretation. I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I did writing! I listened to some old George Ezra while writing. ;)

Your dominant planets are: 1. Sun, 2. Jupiter and 3. Pluto. Your dominant signs are: 1. Scorpio, 2. Gemini and 3. Leo. Your main mode is Fixed. You are Water dominant.

FAMILY, SIBLINGS, EARLY LIFE

You have Aquarius IC. You had an unconventional, unique upbringing. Your 4th house is in Aquarius and Pisces. You like to play on your own. Or you created an imaginary world for yourself. Or you could have escaped through music, arts, TV series or film. You were sheltered from what was really going on around you. You might have a hard time establishing healthy boundaries with your family members. They seem to completely merge with you and rely on you emotionally or be completely cold and detached. There were many traditions and superstitions in your family that might have been passed down through generations. If you have any siblings, they are Capricorn, Aquarius or Pisces. In your elementary and high school years you might have been drawing a lot during classes you didn’t find stimulating. Or you daydream often. You were a mature and responsible student. You seemed a lot older than your peers. You might have viewed your schoolmates as weird sometimes, but they viewed you the same back. You might have often asked yourself if you’re the “weird one” or they are. You have Uranus in the 4th house. You may have changed residence or moved around often, even change schools. There were a lot of unpredictable, sudden changes and events in your early life that were hard to control (and to grasp). You have Sun square Moon. Your mother and father have different personalities and traits. They did not agree on the parenting style, how to raise you. They might have had different views. You have Sun conjunct Mercury. Your father emphasized the importance of communication or that you keep good relations with your siblings. This is also a writer’s placements! You can flatter or cut deep with words. You know how to appeal through words and find exactly the right words. You can sometimes think you “feel” words, because some words would be funny to you or have a “weird” sound to it. You might visualize a lot in your mind. Words, think in imagery and pictures and you have a strong, vivid imagination. You have Sun conjunct Mars. He probably met your open emotional expression with resistance.

PARTNERSHIPS AND FRIENDSHIPS Your friends are Pisces, Aries, Cancer, Sagittarius, Libra and Virgo. In your romantic relationships you attract Taurus, Gemini, Leo, Virgo and Aries. You have Taurus Venus in the 7th house. You desire, respect and value (also attract) stable, loyal, stubborn, highly opinionated people. Those who like to debate with you. People that have “go to” phrases and are polite, kind, have good manners. You might easily sense fragile egos, self esteem and weak points of other people. You have Gemini Mars in the 8th house. This is how you take action. How you approach your crush. You like to play mind games a bit, use a bit of world play and double entendre. You like to know everything about them and how their mind works. You wonder how they are thinking, what their thought process is. You like to have shared learning experiences with potential partners or dates where you go to an escape room or take a cooking class together and learn a new skill. You like to constantly evolve, expand and regenerate. You need a mental connection and great mental rapport to introduce physical intimacy into a relationship. You have Aries Moon in the 5th house. You have the potential of a serial dater. You need some passion, excitement and playful energy to get the connection started. But even in the early stages of your love affairs, you need a great deal of emotional comfort. You have to feel safe and secure around the person, like they are your family already. You know what you like and you might cut off people instantly when you notice red flags or just something that you don’t like. You know you can’t save people, so you understand the person needs to help themselves first. Otherwise, they would become another one of your problems. You have Venus sextile Jupiter. You might be very generous when you’re in love. You like to spoil your partner and take them out for dinner often. You might be over generous or over loving. With you money, time, affection, attention, praise and compliments. You have Venus square Uranus. You might like some odd, quirky, hard to figure of people. You are fascinated by those. You might have a long distance relationship at some point. Or you could date your friends or online date. You might even have a platonic connection with someone before it being romantic. You have Venus trine Neptune. You might idealize your partner or they do that to you. You might view them through rose tinted glasses. You are attracted to musicians, artists, singers, creators and people who play instruments.

CAREER, PROFESSIONAL LIFE, PUBLIC IMAGE

You have Pluto in the 2nd house. You fear poverty, homelessness and being hungry. You are very private when it comes to your financial matters. You don’t discuss it openly or ever. It’s a weird topic for you. Sometimes you fear it, it’s like you’re scared of what it can do. You are very passionate about gaining financial stability. Sometimes your dreams scare you or you might think “too big” or see just the bigger picture and forget to focus on the now as well. You have Sagittarius and Capricorn over your 2nd house. You might be over indulgent and flashy when you have money to spend. But with Capricorn there you also work hard for it. You have Leo MC. You might gain recognition for your accomplishments. You could also be attracted to film, theatre, drama, modelling. Or politics, governmental jobs, administration. Even publishing, media, public relations and public affairs. You could be a representative for a company. You might like to post on your social media. But you perfect your image, caption and you check for grammar errors. You like to be seen as creative, funny, healthy, bright and hard working. You have Virgo North Node in the 10th house. This indicates your life purpose. In this lifetime you are called to organise, to establish healthy boundaries with others, routine, daily habits. To take care of your daily duties, responsibilities, your health and even your pets if you have any. If you don’t. You’d benefit from owning a pet greatly, so that it calms down your Virgo mental restlessness. You could work in accounting, counselling, therapy, even health fields, such as nutrition, dietetics, nursing etc. You could be interested in physical and mental wellbeing. You could be into fitness and wellness. You might like communication, publishing, bookkeeping or even library work. You could use your keen eye for details. You have Leo and Virgo over your 10th house. You will shine and be in the spotlight, yet you’ll have to learn humility as well. Sometimes you might feel underappreciated or undervalued by authority figures, such as your parents, mentors, teachers, bosses. You might feel like you are putting much more effort in your responsibilities and work than you get credit for it. You have Aries and Taurus over the 6th house. This means you like a stable job, because it means stable income (Taurus in the 6th, Capricorn in the 2nd). But at some point in your life, you might desire to be your own boss, be self employed or become a businessperson, since it gives you the freedom of expression, expansion you value (Aries in the 6th house, Sagittarius in the 2nd house). You might even do something athletic or sporty daily or even as a part of your job! You have Cancer Mercury in the 8th house. You need to communicate a lot with your intimate partners. You like to think about your family, siblings, your home, your comforts and safety. You like talking about deep, occult and taboo topics. You might entertain the idea of conspiracy theories as well. You have an excellent memory. You can remember scents, colours, how people made you feel like no other. You have a long term memory. You have Mercury square Jupiter. Sometimes you might be a bit judgemental or be prone to overthinking and overanalyzing. You might also read between the lines. You have Mercury sextile Saturn. You have great power and focus to concentrate for long periods of time when you have a tunnel vision.

ADDITIONAL OBSERVATIONS

You have Pluto, Jupiter and Saturn currently transiting your 3rd house. You might spend more time alone and less with your friends, siblings and family members. You might have to work hard daily or commute to another city for work or just travel daily to a different part of the city. You might reevaluate and reconsider, rethink and transform your attitude to the local community, neighbourhood, city, to your siblings, peers, schoolmates. You might meet some new people, some new friends too, when Jupiter enters the scene since it’s a one and a half to two years long transit. You have Scorpio Chiron in the 1st house. You might not like your own name, or there is a visible spot, mark on your face, body that you don’t like. Or you could have been picked on by others for that. You might not like your physical appearance and you’re self conscious about it. You often nit pick it. At some point in life you might have had an identity crisis or just really doubted your personality, ego, self worth, character and traits. You might have been bullied or the power was taken away from you. You often felt powerless. Or scared of your own potential and power. You have Taurus Ceres in the 7th house. This represents how you wish to be nurtured and how you nurture others. You like to cook for them, buy them food, share meals with them and buy them little gifts. You like to listen to them. You might be a therapist for many. I’m sure you received compliments as “you’d be an excellent therapist”. You might empathize with them and really try to understand the other’s perspective and where they are coming from. You like to put yourself in others' shoes. You have Virgo Juno in the 11th house. This indicted your “ideal soulmate”, ideal partner, be it platonic or romantic. You like someone friendly, intelligent, who isn’t afraid to discuss social issues, society and question it all. You like someone who is clean, smells nice and grooms themselves. You like platonic, friendly connections at first. You need a lot of mental simulation. You have Libra Lilith in the 12th house. You might have been accused that you lack ambition. But you just don’t like competition that much or participation in the rat race. You value the inner core and being. You have rich inner workings. You have Leo Part of Fortune in the 9th house. This is where you experience good luck and charm. You might be praised for your views, beliefs, opinions on life. How you choose to constantly expand your horizons. You are at your happiest when you travel, even when you get lost in a good book, TV series or a foreign film. You like to constantly learn something new and you’ll be a life long student.

CHART RULER

Your chart ruler is Pluto. The chart ruler of the 1st house is in the 2nd house. Your ego is directly tied to your self worth, financial status, your talents. You might develop your personality, character, ego, self esteem through 2nd house topics, such as working on your talents and pursuing new skills, earning money and becoming financially independent, self care and developing your own set of values.

HOUSE RULERS

The house ruler of the 1st house is in the 2nd house. The way you look depends on your self-esteem. Life is oriented to discovering personal values and creating self-esteem. Appearance is a source of security issues. The house ruler of the 2nd house is in the 5th house. You use your money for artistic projects. You are possessive of creative projects. Financial security depends upon your personal creativity. The house ruler of the 3rd house is in the 6th house. Daily conversation revolves around work and health. Your mind is oriented to daily life. Thoughts are oriented to daily routine and work. You are curious about diet and nutrition. You have an efficient mind. You take information and organize it. You have an actively curious mind. The house ruler of the 4th house is in the 4th house. You want a home of your own. Private time is spent with family. Home and family bring up strong core feelings, for better or worse. You want a family for the sake of having a family. The house ruler of the 5th house is in the 3rd house. Creative talents and gifts are hidden. Hobbies revolve around the taboo or occult. The house ruler of the 6th house is in the 8th house. The daily work environment must serve your need to form deep relationships. You use your knowledge of diet, nutrition and exercise to help other people transform. You want an intense work environment. The house ruler of the 7th house is in the 7th house. The partner needs to be willing negotiate and cooperate with you. Marriage partners are business partners, business partners are marriage partners. You want to be with someone who is cooperative. You want a partner who is a good negotiator. The house ruler of the 8th house is in the 8th house. You enter sexual relationships for sex. You get emotionally entangled with other people to form deep connections. Your attitude to life and death affects your ability to deeply connect with other people. The house ruler of the 9th house is in the 5th house. You are philosophical about the way you raise children. You find meaning through the creative arts. You like to take romantic getaways. You enjoy the artistic expression of other cultures. Traveling is for leisure and pleasure. The house ruler of the 10th house is in the 8th house. You bring a professional approach to depth psychology. You find your true vocation by exploring occult subjects. Your career revolves around the need for intensity of experience. Your career involves working with other people’s emotional baggage. Your true vocation involves depth interactions with other people. You achieve recognition as a researcher. You receive awards for your work with people on the fringe of society. The house ruler of the 11th house is in the 8th house. You associate with people who are involved in the occult. Your friends have emotional baggage. You keep your group involvements hidden. You don’t talk about your long term hopes and wishes. The house ruler of the 12th house is in the 7th house. Your partner desires to escape from reality as much as you do. You lose your boundaries when it comes to significant relationships. Your grief and sorrow affect your relationships. The desire to escape reality affects your ability to maintain a serious relationship.

The Spy Who Dumped Me dir. Susanna Fogel (2018)

I don’t watch a lot of Hollywood movies. A lot of people assume that’s because I’m a film snob (which I can admit I am) but the truth is that while I enjoy a good popcorn flick I turned away from these movies a long time ago because I was sick of seeing so many movies that included casual sexism and racism. It was usually only a line or two here or there of the main (usually white, usually male) character sexualizing his co-worker or making some lame “joke” about his brown friend. And watching that always made me feel like I had just spent money to be slapped in the face.   

It definitely feels like the tide is slowly changing. There are now a handful of studio films that come out every year directed by a man of colour or a white woman (and every now and then a woman of colour) and I always go to support these films because I know that no matter how bad they are it’s so much less likely that there will be this painful throwaway lines that denigrate people for their race or gender. 

This was part of the reason I decided to give The Spy Who Dumped Me a shot. A comedy/action film the movie reminded me a lot of Spy, that Paul Feig directed, Melissa McCarthy starring movie that came out a few years ago.  Like with Spy, TSWDM focuses on non-spies who get caught up in intra-agent warfare: slacker-cashier Audrey (Mila Kunis) and her roommate/bestie Morgan (Kate McKinnon). 

We meet Audrey as she’s moping because her gorgeous out of her league boyfriend Drew (Justin Theroux) has abruptly dumped her over text right before her birthday. Morgan encourages her to burn his things and they are both surprised when, after days of ignoring Audrey, he calls and begs her not to burn anything. When he shows up at Audrey’s apartment she discovers he’s a spy being chased by a group of international assassins right before he’s shot in front of her. On the run and knowing they are about two seconds away from being murdered, Morgan persuades Audrey to go to Europe to complete Drew’s mission. After all if there’s a choice between dying having never seen Europe and dying in Europe one option certainly sounds better than the other. So armed with the 2nd place fantasy football trophy that Drew emphasized was important right before getting shot, and with each other, the two jet off to Vienna where more spies, guns and (likely) death await them. 

This was the type of movie that even if I didn’t know it had been written and directed by a woman I would have been able to tell it was. I mean that in the best way possible. Fogel’s debut film, the indie Life Partners, also focused on the messy intimacy of female friendship and though this movie has a much bigger budget and parts of it could easily act as a straight up action movie, the friendship between the two main characters makes it a sort of thematic sequel to Fogel’s earlier work. And where so many movies still struggle to clear the lowest of low bars i.e. passing the Bechdel test, TSWDM is just one long conversation between two women that starts early and never stops. Do the women talk about guys? Sometimes. But there are large swaths of the movie where they are more concerned with staying alive.  

There’s also a hilarious shot of a man’s penis and testicles fully shown on screen. It reminded me of a quote by Amy Heckerling where she talked about how when she went into filmmaking she thought she could even out the objectification of women by showing male nudity. It didn’t quite work out the way she wanted, she was quickly censored by studios. Yet here is Fogel, decades later, fulfilling Heckerling’s wish. The shot of the penis in TSWDM lasts maybe two seconds but it’s a shot that pushes the envelope and feels revolutionary when nearly every actress you can think of has gone topless on screen while most male actors will at most show their nude bottoms.

Kunis and McKinnon have great friendship chemistry as well. Kunis unfortunately has the thankless role of playing the straight-woman to McKinnon’s off-the-wall, over-the-top, theatre-kid bestie, but she plays it perfectly allowing McKinnon to truly shine. The guys (Justin Theroux as Kunis’s characters ex, and Sam Heughan as an MI6 agent) are mostly there for eye candy and they deliver on that front. 

TSWDM isn’t a perfect movie. For absolutely no reason at all it’s almost two hours and a last minute twist falls apart if you think about it too closely. But it’s a charming hilarious movie that serves up plenty of laughs and action without ever offending me once, which is all I ever wanted from a popcorn movie. 

The zodiac signs and their time periods.

So I’ve noticed that the zodiac signs and planets give of the energy of particular eras that have passed in our history. And I’ve noticed this to be the case with people whom have a heavy dominance in a specific sign/heavy aspects to that particular planet and their personal planets/house stellium and so on. And strangely enough these people not only exhibit traits of that people presented in that particular sequence in time but they resonate with those from that particular timeline..

⚔️⛓⚙️For starters Aries/Martian doms/1st house stellium/and heavily aspected mars: these guys and gals are the instinctual’s. They exhibit traits of mans earlier descents on the planet. Eras ruled by body movement and more physical means of expression resonate with them. Aries is the time of the Spartans I wouldn’t tie them in with peaceful Rome. They are the world wars. They are the mogul conquest. They are the napoleonic wars and the birth of martial arts. Many with these placements exude a war in their nature. You smell the battle from them. Their steps. Their struts. You feel their anger and their devotion. Many with these placements are seen as intimidating and awe inspiring for this reason because they come from a time of conflict fought not for the sake of others but for the sake of ones on name on the battlefield. These individuals represent mans will and mans Nature for battle. We as man live for war it’s in our make up our DNA. Male or female we live to prove ourselves out here in this huge galaxy. This vast universe. We seek to be someone in the center of it all. These natives are mans “ego” mans desire to conquer and mans desire to succeed.

🕌🏵Taurus/Venus doms(internalized)/heavily aspected Venus/2nd house stellium: these individuals come from periods that dealt with security and ones pleasures and self worth. eras full of banquets and lavish meals laid out. Times of the senses and aphrodisiacs. Perfumes. Suede dresses. Soft supple skin.Rough worn out hands. Luxuries and money as a means of barter. Revolutions over liquor a time of sex for pleasure and happiness. This reminds me of the peaceful roman era. Around the time of eroticism amongst women and men;women and women; men and men. It was a time to do what felt good on you. What catered to you wants and desires. A time of romance but romance for pleasure never with an intention of something “deep” stringless passion and late nights. Sloth and greed. Gods that controlled nature Athena, Zeus, Aphrodite. Over sexualized gods and loose interpretations of consent out of desire. Things loved slow during this time. Things were stable and predictable. Tantric even. So often those whom are heavily Tauren exude a natural earthiness. A naturally sexually alluring presence both calming and illuminating. Many that I’ve met just have the ability to remind you of the “body” when you’re in their presence. Of course not saying their purely sexual objects;not at all but they exude a very “sensual” nature placing emphasis on ones senses. Similarly to early roman times a time where sensualist ran rampant. These natives are mans need for intimacy and touch. Mans need for stability and pace. These individuals soothe the masses and open the world to the idea of romance. The idea of chivalry. The idea of pleasure. In every way shape or form this is mans desire for “touch”.

📺💡📡Gemini/mercury doms(externalized)/heavily aspected mercury/3rd house stellium: many here come from eras of knowledge. Unlike their opposite these people come from times of “tactics” times of communication. The “buzz buzz” of the world and early exploration. To me this screams the era of voyages. Christopher Columbus. Ponce de Leon. Neil Armstrong. John smith(I hate him), Marco Polo and so on. These men were driven by their curiosity often at the expense of others but none the less their findings expanded the knowledge for the rest of the world. Free flows in communication.information like this is what screams Gemini. The era of the paparazzi the bloggers and the vlogs. The media apps and teaching of knowledges. People who are dominate in this energy exude a curious and dubious nature a insatiable lust for knowledge and learning what they can. They reak of eagerness that’s been exhibited from their past eras. They always seem to be on to the next voyage seemingly getting tired of it once they’ve gotten there flying endlessly on to the next. They crave the uncertainty the promiscuity of man. They see this life and every life as an escapade and one their so gluttonous to witness. They represent mans versatility and mans duality. They are snakes and they are eagles. They travel with their minds to a place many would never venture. The mind of man.

🌑🌌Cancer/moon dominate/4th house stellium/heavily aspected moon: here we have the mothers. The willful and the emotionally driven. This is an era of the single mothers. The women led suffrage movements. These are the battles for equality amongst women. This is the era of the house wife. The foundation. The role player and the children bearer. Mr and Mrs vanilla. This is your early to late 1800s and 1920s and ironically enough this is besides the above mentioned dates this is an era that’s been constantly existent. Women have always been subjugated and treated as less then equal to men. Only recently have they begun to have their voices heard and reached beyond their cries. People dominate in this exude a strong willed nature and a tenacious one at that. They are the caregiver and the mother be it male or female. They are the protectors and the foundation behind the scenes. Many describe cancer doms as emotionally handicapped I beg to differ. Women in these eras exhibited strength beyond anything one could grasp. These natives are heavy tides rustling to and fro. They’re emotional frequencies sent like a radio antenna to mankind. They nurture us from the skies and the land eroding the walls the separate us with a simple glance or a simple loving hand. They know humanity. They’ve grown familiar..They worked the jobs none could do, they slaved and fought seeking no type of validation or crowd they worked endlessly serving as both the emotional bridge and leading force for the world in its weakest moments. So many exude a defensive and survivor attitude even when the situation doesn’t call for it. They are driven by emotions as they’ve always have but make no mistake their emotions aren’t their weakness it’s their greatest source of strength.these natives represent mans need to nurture and be nurtured. Mans nature to emotionally connect and form a family.

☀️👑Ah Leo/sun dominate/5th house stellium/heavy sun aspects: this is the era of Shakespeare. This is the time of flourishing arts and poets. The time of song and Dance. The time of distain towards mediocrity and a time of flamboyance and passion. End all be alls and ultimatums.

This is your Elizabethan era full of wonderful literature..poetic theatre…enigmatic song and dance! The golden age. A time of exploration and the search for ones own place in the grand theatre of life. These people radiate that need that inner fuel-the inner star quality to be something more;something worthy of an audience. This is your period of Classical Greek art! Sculptures in the likeness of man and its immense beauty. Bodies in their natural shadings and tones the vast array of humanity and its many divine origins.A time to worship the features of one another a time to see the beauty in ones self and in others. A meeting of egos and a meeting of suns. The renaissance in its early years speaks to the Leo dominate and sun dominate energy; as times of self realization and artistic expression both physically and on a solar plane. These people carry humanity’s will on their backs the powerful expression of mans unlimited reservoir of talent. The sin of pride is all to real here and these folks carry it in their blood but on a bigger scale these natives represent times of religious expression and the search for what god is to them. The difference here is they seek to be their own definitive destiny their pride is what caused them to fall from grace after all. But in my eyes god wasn’t punishing those with pride by banishing them..he was giving the world the gift of unwavering will/passion and drama disguised as what we look upon tenderly to be our sun. Which is exactly what these individuals are the personification of. ❄️🌳For Virgo/mercury dom(internalized)/Chiron dominate/heavily aspected mercury or Chiron/6th house stellium: these folks come from eras of service and loss. These natives know the depths of what true dedication entails and have a even deeper ingrained sense of loss embedded in their Psyche. “Nothing is free, nothing is stable without sacrifice” this is our 5th-15th century. Our medieval periods a time of service to our kings and undying loyalty to causes not our Own. Faith based on sacrifice. This was the fall of the Roman Empire a time of the focus on ones self to a massive shift into more politically and plot based form of cold decision making; Intermarriages to get ahead. Strategic invasions for territory. Forced marriages and conditional and situational moments of peace and war. Things were palpable and visible. It was a time to think with the mind not with the heart but with ones morals and duties to their nation and their people. The separation between the peasants and the nobles. Those forced to grovel and those who were granted a finer hand. Fast forward slightly in time and even backwards and these are the eras of world wars and our Indian blood trails not only representing the loss of an ideal but the sacrifice necessary for the survival of those we hold dear at the cost of our own physical bodies. These people have an aura of hubris and humility. They don’t believe in superiority nor do they believe in those incapable of getting by in this life. These folks feel heavy and exude a lingering sadness in their actions. Every gesture, every hug, every longing stare and misplaced word, every unspoken truth and promise means so much to them as they represent mans forgiveness and mans sacrifice. They are the maidens(young lady of noble birth) and damoiseau(young and gentle men not yet knights)of the eras and carry humanity and all of its innocence and youth upon their shoulders. Mans unknowing and ignorance. Man physical death and mans physical sacrifice.They are the personification of mans desire to protect one another and for that reason remain above the fray and are elevated in both mental aspects and physical aspects of living. They are calculated and they are realistic for them the world is full of give and take and they don’t have time to live in a fantasy realm. The colder side of mercury is their personification. And Chirons luminous gaze is their bible. 🤝👘Libra/Venus dom(externalized)/heavily aspected Juno/heavily aspected Venus/7th house stellium: ah here we have the Shakespearean era! The early bird romantics and the symbolic undertones of the consequences of our actions. At this time much like for Leo doms and sun doms this is during the Elizabethan era a time of political stability and peace. A time of relative social and cultural ease. Art and theatre were rampant. The audience was connected and erotic. There was a heavy inclination of love being in the air at this time. But these individuals don’t just come from eras of ease and in fact come from times of the greatest choices being made. Times of consequence and times of weighing the scales. These are times of democracy and political groups Our republicans and those who seek their own piece of order and contempt. Times of government and the calls no one could dare to make. A time of intended diplomacy and punishment. Eras of judgement in the sake of peace. This nature has been present in man from the beginning of time and hasn’t been tied to one particular era. Humans have always sought after a sense of fulfillment-we’ve always sought after our form of peace and through our lifetimes these pursuits have had consequences be it death or the fall of an entire empire based on an ideology. These natives carry the scales of justice and punishment on their backs. They understand the black and white of the world-but they prefer a life lived in the grey a life of ease and serenity. A life without choices or repercussion but be it as it may they know better then anyone a world without the difference is a Land draped in chaos and confusion. They radiate an old energy one that connects the world through bonds and interactions of the most intimate in nature. They represent the yin and yang nature colored in the blind spots of human nature. They exude understanding and compassion they are mans need to connect and mans need to relate. 🥀🦅Scorpio/Pluto dom/Lilith dom/Eros dom/hades dom/8th house stellium: these natives come from the beginning. They are the earliest memories in history. The earliest sensations..the earliest instincts..mans earliest fears and mans earliest desires and wants. Mans emotional conflicts and mans decent into madness. Times of betrayal and uncertainty and times of mans shadow brought to the world of the living. Biblical battles between light and shadow. Religious scriptures and religion. Crosses and steaks. The occult and complete surrender. This is the era of hitler and his hatred and wrath taking human form. This is our asylums and electroshock therapy and lobotomy(the killing of our selves and whom we once were)The bubonic plague and the Chinese famine. And our era of Dracula. This is our outcome of the world wars and all the deaths left in its wake. These individuals carry an almost astronomical energy in them. These events were some of the most devastating moments in our history some almost completely extermination humans as we knew it. But we “survived” we “evolved” we “transformed” these individuals carry the apocalypse upon their shoulders and ooze the energy of the realm of death itself. But it never succeeds it never engulfs them;they engulf the darkness that follows them they becomes a beacon of light amongst the darkness. The angels wondering in the dark providing light for the lost. These individuals are intimidating they’re are powerful and they represent mans will to survive and are the manifestation of mans wrath. A sin rivaling even that of pride. 🌸🕊Sagittarius/Jupiter dom/heavy Jupiter aspects/9th house stellium: this is our early 1960s and late 1970s A time of social upheaval and the search for freedom. The rejection of societies establishments. A time of connecting through frequencies and vibrations rather then through societal personas. A time of experimentation and inner spiritual freedom and travel. Gypsies and nomads. Guitars and long hair. Weed and “losing touch” LSD and ken Kesey/merry pranksters. A time to focus on the smaller facets of life and to connect with the world. A time to disconnect from preconceived notions and to feel alive and to enjoy the lost nature. Philosophy and ideals. A time to make love instead of war. Touching bodies and a flash of color. Hues of green and violet. Conspiracy theories and a disdain of control and our government. These natives exude the free and rebellious nature of man. Mans need to decode..mans need to see beneath the curtain and mans need and hunger for knowledge.. deep soul wrenching knowledge.. they carry mans dissociation and mans most elevated higher mind.. the third eye. These folks are hard to hold down and hard to catch always moving forward on to the next movement..on to the next mental escapade and the next spiritual calling. Love is transcendent and something freeing. They represent mans need for freedom. 🌍🍁Capricorn/Saturn dom(externalized)/Saturn heavily aspected/10th house stellium: these folks are the eras of structure and restriction. Times of images and the fall of them. These are our cold wars and our water gate and teapot don scandals. Our shady political deals and scripted governmental scripts. This is our threatened security and our loss of comfort;Such as 9/11(rest in peace angels) which would forever change standings with the u.s and the Middle East along with bringing forth issues between immigrants and race once more.This is our mongol conquest which ravaged Chinese culture introducing an entirely foreign intruder one they had no means or understanding of and lost over 30,000,000 lives in their wake. And lastly a more peaceful form of this being the napoleonic wars ending with the fall of the French and an implementing of the napoleonic code which basically led to a much fairer use of the law amongst other countries and led to Close to 40 years of peace in Europe. Expanding trade and beginning the Industrial Age. Ended European monarchies that existed at the time and was the last known battle between Europe and France leading up to them becoming allies; all of these scenarios showcase themes of the loss of a perceived stability a perceived “foundation” for the sake of creating a new “foundation"These individuals exude structure and wisdom they’re old souls who have lived to see the rise and fall of the human lineage.they don’t cling to the more superficial and trivial aspects of man. They’re souls don’t thrive in a world lacking truth and the un-palpable. They seek a realism and have no time to waste in those unwilling to face it. Their is a stark depth to these natives and a heavy soul built on both honesty and integrity. These folks are the personification of the hardships of man. They are what man seeks to escape from-what man has a hard time facing. They are the reality we must come to stand in before all else.. they are fate and they are time. 🚉🛬🛰Aquarius/Uranus dom/Saturn dom(internalized)/Uranus heavily aspected/11th house stellium: to put it simply these natives are from a future yet to come. They are the revolutions and the rebellions! They are the individualism and the sparks and bolts. They are the abrupt and the unforeseen. They are the divine eye glaring through the thin film. The photographers and the space voyages and the universe in its uncharted glory. The black holes and the space race. These folks are the era of electronics and robotics. Automobiles and advancement. They are the prosthetic limbs and the Teslas. Cloning and the 3D printer. They are hardware and interfacing. The Haitian revolution-the slave revolt ending with nearly 4,000 whites killed as revenge for vile treatment. The Cuban revolution with Fidel Castro agree multiple failed attempts finally using guerrilla war tactics and taking out 550 Batista and ending all elections declaring himself as president for life(could be seen as a good or bad revolution).Chinese revolution which ended up leading to communism and the establishment of the people’s republic. Be it for better or for worse Aquarian energy is fuel for change and to tear down the structures and restrictive bounds that has weighed man..much like Ancient Rome and it’s open sexual nature. Our Ganymede so to speak. Times of sexual freedom and sexual flamboyancy of the most electric and unconventional variety. Our polygamy and asexuality, the variances in our human experience and are unique human interactions.these individuals are aloof and eccentric a lightning bolt feverly slamming into the ground. A bolt of uncertainty and confusion. They are the personification of mans need to disengage. The untethered man and women the souls who became the sky limitless and nothing all in one. 🌬🌪💨Pisces/Neptune dom/Jupiter dom(internalized)/heavily aspected Neptune/12th house stellium: These folks are the end of the human voyage. They come from a time beyond our realm. A land where spirits wander as energy and molecules. They are intangible and free. Seemingly non-existent specters of the world. They much like their counter parts come from moments of our greatest sacrifices. But this is beyond the physical these are sacrifices of the soul. They come from an era of the sacred. The story of Abraham and Isaac a tale of ones willingness to surrender all they’ve been given all the things they hold dear to the divine. The Aztec gods whom sacrifices themselves for the sake of man. Odin the Norse god whom sacrificed his eye for the sake of knowledge. Penelope the Greek god of spring who sacrifices herself for humanity and married hades. These individuals are not only blurry and elusive for the fact that Neptune is their heir..these natives are spiritually away and moldable and all around us. They are not tied to their physical bodies like he rest of us and always remain in a realm unreachable to those of the living. They’re are timeless ghost peering over the events and timelines all at once. They’ve watched man struggle. They’ve watched man succeed.. they’ve watched man rise. They’ve watched man fall. They’ve seen man at its worst. They’ve seen man at its best. The tears..the abandonment..the unity the devotion..the betrayal..the loyalty..the love and hate..humans fragile sensitivity and humans vulnerability to this big world that they don’t understand. These people are the final parents hovering above us all watching us quietly and lovingly; wrapping us so completely in their ethereal love as deep as every sea in this astronomical universe and as intimate as your most broken parts of you crave. These individuals represent mans plight to the unknown. Hope you guys enjoy! Sorry about how this looks I added everything way later so it all grouped together sadly hopefully the emojis help separate them a bit.

ON TOM CRUISE: From the moment he appeared Tom was Lestat for me. He has the immense physical and moral presence; he was defiant and yet never without conscience; he was beautiful beyond description yet compelled to do cruel things. The sheer beauty of Tom was dazzling, but the polish of his acting, his flawless plunge into the Lestat persona, his ability to speak rather boldly poetic lines, and speak them with seeming ease and conviction were exhilarating and uplifting. The guy is great. I'm no good at modesty. I like to believe Tom's Lestat will be remembered the way Olivier's Hamlet is remembered. Others may play the role some day but no one will ever forget Tom's version of it. (Let me say here that anyone who thinks I did an "about face" on Tom just doesn't know the facts. My objections to his casting were based on familiarity with his work, which I loved. Many many great actors have been miscast in films and have failed to make it work. I don't have to mention them here. Why hurt anyone by mentioning the disaster of his career? But we've seen big stars stumble over and over when they attempt something beyond their reach. That Tom DID make Lestat work was something I could not see in a crystal ball. It's to his credit that he proved me wrong. But the general objections to the casting? They were made on solid ground. Enough on that subject. Tom is a great actor. Tom wants challenges. Tom has now transcended the label of biggest box office star in the world. He's better.) Favorite moments with Tom: Tom's initial attack on Louis, taking him up into the air, praised by Caryn James so well in the New York Times. Ah! An incredibly daring scene. The finest romantic scene in any film, and here please read the word romance as an old and venerable word for timeless artistic forms of poetry, novels and film. Romance is a divine word which has never really been denigrated by the drugstore novels with the swooning ladies on the cover. Romance will be with us for all time, If you want to know more about Romance, put on a video of THE FISHER KING and listen to Robin Williams describe the deeper meaning of romance to his newfound girlfriend. It's worth it, believe me. Back to Tom: other great moments. Tom's bedside seduction of the dying Louis, in which he offers Louis the Dark Gift. Once again, Tom gave Lestat the virility and the androgyny that made both him and the offer irresistible. He was near blinding. I would have accepted the Dark Gift from him then and there. Only an actor with complete confidence and conviction could have done that scene or any of the others. Tom's angry outburst in the face of Louis' repeated questions. His stride, his voice both loud and soft, his frustration, his obvious discomfort, and inner conflict. Once again, Tom took over the screen, the theatre, the mind of the viewer. Immense power. Tom riding his horse through the slaves' fire, and then turning the horse around so that he could face the suspicious mortals. That was on a par with Errol Flynn and Rudy Valentino. It was on a par with the opera greats who have played Mephistopheles. Only a genuine "star" can make a moment like that, and I'm as confused as to why...just as much as anyone in Hollywood. Let's close this one out with one word: Grand! (No, can't stop talking about it.) If I had to settle for one picture in this film, it would be that shot of Lestat on horseback looking back at the suspicious mortals. That was and is my hero. That was and is my man. Lestat just won't be afraid of anybody. He won't stand for it. He hates what he is as much as Louis, but he cannot do anything but move forward, attempt to make existence worth it, attempt to create. He knows the formula for success, and has no patience with the formula for failure. That's Lestat. Tom's rage and obvious pain in the scene with the bleeding wench and the coffin, one scene from the book which I did not include in my script. it was probably put in by Neil Jordan. If Tom had not given so much depth to this scene, it might have been unwatchable. His desperation, his vulnerability, made it work, and he made himself in it the worthy object of compassion. No small feat! I found the scene, otherwise, to be disgusting. The shot of Tom looking through the green shutters, and the falling rain, knowing that Louis is somewhere out in the night. This was a gorgeous and eloquent shot. Again, it was the actor who gave it the depth in all the subtle ways that only he can do. Tom's making of Claudia, and here I want to praise the entire trio...Tom, Kirsten, Brad... The scene is directed delicately and captures the intimacy, the blasphemy and the undeniable innocence and blundering of the human who has a supernatural gift to give and in his pain and confusion, chooses to give it, come what may. That's a scene for now, for our world of scientific and medical miracles, as much as any scene in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, and Tom pulled it off right to the last second. Later, Tom's confusion when after bringing Claudia a doll, he sees Claudia turn on him. About half of what I wrote for this scene in the script, or less, made it into the film, and I liked what I saw very much. I wish they'd gone on with the version of this scene that is in QUEEN OF THE DAMNED (see Jesse's discovery of Claudia's diary, and the entry describing what happened), but alas, what they did was great. Tom's manner and expression on the dangerous night that Claudia comes to him and offers him her "reconciling gift." Close in on those two at the harpsichord. Tom is seated, I believe. Kirsten is behind him and apparently offers him the acceptance he needs so desperately. Scenes like this, with Tom, make this film work. Every humorous scene Tom attempted was a complete success. The rat and the glass, I adored it. The humor added apparently by Neil Jordan -- the poodles, the piano teacher hitting the keyboard, the dressmaker biting the dust...well, I didn't adore all that, but Tom carried it off with true wit and style. And yes, its all right to laugh at those parts. We do every time we go to see the movie. There are many other great Tom Cruise moments throughout the film. Many. But these are the ones I cherish now. The readers calling me desperately want Tom to play THE VAMPIRE LESTAT. I hope he does. I hope I get to write the script for the movie. Tom's power, knowledge, skill, magnetism and artistic integrity are part and parcel of the success of IWTV, and there is no doubt that Tom would bring power and magic to TVL. (Let me digress again. For those of you who haven't read TVL, it is not really a sequel to IWTV. It's a complete full novel on its own, beginning the Vampire Chronicles. IWTV was the truly difficult film to make. TVL will take commitment, money and immense faith as well as talent, but compared to IWTV, it is much, much easier to film. Lestat is the true hero of TVL. He is entirely sympathetic. The trick, I think, will be achieving a texture in that film that includes all of Lestat's adventures...from the snows of the Auvergne, to the boulevards of Paris, through the sands of Egypt, and through the visit to Marius' sanctuary, and on to the twentieth century rock music stage. The tales of Armand and of Marius all also excursions for Lestat essentially. I hope Tom makes the journey.) One point: I am puzzled by what seems to be a discrepancy between the way Tom played Lestat, and the way my hero, Producer David Geffen, and others have described Lestat as a character. Did Tom on his own make this role a little bigger, brighter and more complex than anyone else realized it could be? I don't know. David Geffen called Lestat "nasty" when he was interviewed by Barbara Walters. Nasty? I don't get it. But David Geffen is my hero for getting this film made. No one else could have done it. So why quibble about what David said? There is one problem created by the compelling charm of Tom's performance, obviously. Since he isn't all that nasty, why does Louis hate Lestat? How can he? Well, I'll take that problem any day over a more shallow solution. Tom hits the right note. And Louis was Louis. Nothing could comfort Louis. The film got it.

Anne Rice on Tom Cruise in Interview with the Vampire

http://www.maths.tcd.ie/~forest/vamipre/morecomments.html

The 100 Greatest American Music Venues | Consequence of Sound

Feature artwork by Cap Blackard

Where did you attend your first concert? Mine was at the Wiltern Theatre in Los Angeles. It was Counting Crows touring their second album, and for every detail that can be recalled of the actual performance is a bit of memory on how the space felt. The Wiltern was seated back then, and from the ornate chandelier to the first glimpse at a merch stand, the lasting impression was of how big everything felt, how a venue was a place you could get lost in, where the rules of reality didn’t necessarily apply.

Of course, part of that feeling is just youth, but the great venues do have a transportive quality. Details of the box office or the bathrooms or the bar all hold their own weight, building significance both in spite of and because of the experiences held in the rooms. And some of these rooms are better than others. Sure, the most unexceptional concert venues might be near and dear to our hearts because of the shows we saw there or the people we met, but the really great venues go beyond that. There is history between their walls, features that are unlike any other concert space, and state-of-the-art lighting and sound that allow for artists to realize their vision of live presentation.

We took all of this into account when selecting the best 100 venues in the US. Both major and smaller markets are represented, while the sizes range from arenas to bars. There are venues whose history extends back 100 years, and there are others built in this century. But they all hold a certain common ground. A big one is the booking, with most still lining their schedule with the best talent. A few that don’t make their money on national touring acts are known for booking top-tier local acts. All of these venues, though, are known for quality shows regardless of who is actually up on stage.

We’ve already asked our readers to weigh in on their favorite American concert venues. And a number of artists have made their own selection. Now, it’s our turn.

–Philip Cosores Deputy Editor

Established: 2003 What You’ll See: Ian MacKaye, My Brightest Diamond, Cloud Nothings

Despite being sandwiched between two major cities, Connecticut is pretty barren when it comes to culture. Drive out to what feels like the middle of nowhere in Hamden, though, and you’ll find one of the state’s hidden gems: The Space. The all-ages venue sits in a huge, desolate parking lot, but once you step inside, it comes to life. Lights string the ceiling like silly string, a snack bar sits at the side with baked goods, and a flooded thrift store and arcade room hide upstairs.

It’s all types of cool without trying to win cool points, allowing The Space to boast the feel of a DIY Brooklyn space without all the pretension. Thanks to its tiny 150-person capacity and Connecticut’s limited venue options, concertgoers get an intimate show from bands that play far larger venues elsewhere on their tour. Then you step back outside and remember you’re in the middle of nowhere — which, ultimately, makes the venue feel all the more like an Alice in Wonderland trip.

–Nina Corcoran

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Established: 1930 What You’ll See: Animal Collective, Leon Bridges, Tyler, the Creator

Added to the National Register of Historic Places in September 2003, Cain’s Ballroom has a long history of serving various purposes, not hitting its stride as a contemporary music venue until relatively recently. It was initially constructed in 1924 as a garage for Tulsa co-founder W. Tate Brady’s vehicles. Six years later (or five years after Brady’s suicide by gunshot), Madison W. “Daddy” Cain converted the place into a dance establishment, giving it the name Cain’s Dance Academy.

From then on, it’s grown more and more synonymous with musical happenings in Tulsa, playing host to the Texas Playboys’ radio broadcast on KVVO and, after being sold to Larry Schaeffer in the 1970s, even the Sex Pistols in 1978. These days, a wide array of artists swing through for shows at 423 N. Main St. in Tulsa, including a considerable variety of hip-hop acts — A$AP Ferg, Tory Lanez, and Bones Thugs-n-Harmony are all scheduled for upcoming shows.

–Michael Madden

98. The Colosseum at Caesar’s Palace

Las Vegas, Nevada

Established: 2003 What You’ll See: Celine Dion, Rod Stewart, Reba McEntire, Elton John

Yes, the Colosseum at Caesar’s Palace looks like pure Vegas kitsch, a concert venue built to resemble the Colosseum of Rome. And yes, the residency program (inaugurated by Celine Dion) sometimes feels like an elephant graveyard for past-their-prime musical acts. But dig deeper, and this venue inspired by an ancient wonder soon reveals itself to be a modern marvel. The stage includes 10 motorized lifts as well as North America’s largest LED screen, which stands 40 feet tall and projects elaborate, seemingly three-dimensional backgrounds.

Despite a capacity of 4,100, no seat is more than 120 feet from the proscenium. That intimacy, combined with astounding acoustics and a stage spanning 22,400 square feet, means that everyone has a front-row seat for the always dazzling spectacles. All of these perks, combined with an extended stay in an exciting city, make these residencies very attractive to aging performers. If Rod Stewart or Reba McEntire aren’t your speed, that’s fine, but you’ll be glad it exists in 2031 when Jay Z starts his residency.

–Wren Graves

Established: 2012 What You’ll See: Burgerama, Beach Goth, Morrissey, Fetty Wap, Jenny Lewis

Using the shell of the Galaxy Concert Theatre, which hosted B-level gets like Sugar Ray and Medeski Martin and Wood for its run from 1994-2008, The Observatory emerged from a massive restoration that turned a 550-cap concert theatre into a two-room concert juggernaut. The main stage hosts acts ranging from hip-hop elite to Orange County legends in a 1,000-person space, while its smaller 350-cap Constellation Room is the only place in the OC to catch an act like Mitski or Into It. Over It.

One of the best aspects of the venue is how well it’s booked, landing better rap acts than any venue in neighboring Los Angeles, while often featuring bands offering warm-up shows before their much bigger LA or festival stops. It’s even become the sight of an occasional festival, with Burgerama and Beach Goth both utilizing the dual indoor stages and the outside parking lot.

–Philip Cosores

Established: 2002 What You’ll See: Synths, sun tans, and a sanctuary from mouse ears

Orlando’s countless amusement parks, performance spaces, hotels, and mini-golf courses make the sprawling central Florida city into an east coast Las Vegas, albeit one that was hit especially hard by the mid-2000’s subprime mortgage crisis. But a few Downtown O-town local hot spots weathered this economic hurricane and thank goodness for that.

The Social is still standing! And shaking, and grooving, as it continues an energetic tradition as the city’s best place to catch rock, electronic, and weekly acid jazz sets. The midsize venue is mostly built around concerts, but has sustained itself over time by becoming an incredible dance space that keeps the club kids, the rockers, and the Salsa fanatics equally entertained.

–Dan Pfleegor

95. JJ’s Bohemia

Chattanooga, Tennessee

Established: 2007 What You’ll See: That 1 Guy, Thelma and the Sleaze, Future Islands

JJ’s Bohemia is many things, but none of them are chic. A tiny space with a big patio attached (or a big patio with a tiny space, depending on your view), it feels as if every inch of the joint is covered with a sticker, a knick-knack, a string of holiday lights, or the front of a VW van. The vibe is undeniably chaotic, which meshes perfectly with the experience of gathering there for a show — when the stage is inches from your nose and no more than a few feet above you, it’s hard to not feel like a part of rock and roll in the making. Add in the free weekly comedy open mic, bartenders with devoted followers, and a handy disc-golf basket, and you’ve got plenty of reasons to roam off the beaten path.

–Allison Shoemaker

94. Count Basie Theatre

Red Bank, New Jersey

Established: 1926 What You’ll See: Brian Wilson, Randy Newman, Kevin Smith

The ‘burbs need concert venues, too, and the Count Basie Theatre caters to the bridge-and-tunnel crowd without making them drive across a bridge or through a tunnel. To that end, there’s something special about seeing legendary, decidedly mature musicians like Brian Wilson and Boz Scaggs right in your Garden State neighborhood, especially when they’re flanked by the Basie’s gorgeously detailed proscenium and celestial blue dome. But such classiness doesn’t drive away the occasional rowdy act: Bruce Springsteen has made several surprise appearances, and fellow Jersey hero Kevin Smith — whose comics shop, Jay & Silent Bob’s Secret Stash, is a mere half-mile away — has filmed a handful of his specials there.

–Dan Caffrey

Established: 1989 What You’ll See: Palm trees and great rock and roll

Like so many promoters-turned-club owners, Tim Mays was simply looking for a place to host shows when he opened The Casbah with Bob Bennett and Peter English in 1989. Eventually the venue became a haven for rock and roll of all shapes and sizes, from local heroes (Rocket from the Crypt, Three Mile Pilot) to alternative rock megastars (Nirvana! Smashing Pumpkins! Blink 182!). Now 26 years later, San Diego’s understated rock and roll mecca continues to be everything a small club should be.

With its 200-person capacity, there’s an intimacy to the current room (Mays moved the club up the street in 1994) even when your back’s against the bar. Posters adorning the wall pay homage to the city’s proud underground rock heritage, while the fake palm trees and year-round holiday lights give it the charm of a punk rock bungalow. There’s also music six nights a week, so yeah, it’s more or less a live music maven’s dream come true.

–Ryan Bray

Established: 2007 What You’ll See: Aesop Rock, Todd Barry, Eagulls, Mutual Benefit

The Crofoot is one of downtown Pontiac’s oldest structures. Nowadays, it’s a two-story building that contains three venues: the Crofoot Ballroom, the Pike Room, and the Vernors Room. It’s gone through numerous periods of turbulence in the past two centuries, facing the prospect of demolition as recently as 2005. It was at that time that the McGowan family of local preservationists sought to restore The Crofoot, ultimately leading to its reopening as a concert venue in September 2007.

Regular attendees are pleased to report their happiness about the above-average quality of sound and the politeness of the staff. While it may not draw household-name performers like some venues in Detroit and other areas of Michigan, the modern-day Crofoot’s combination of charm, intimacy, and historical value makes it an often underrated institution.

–Michael Madden

91. Rams Head Live!

Baltimore, Maryland

Established: 2004 What You’ll See: Queens of the Stone Age, Purity Ring, Metric, The New Pornographers

A lot of the best music venues in the US are anchored by their history, but there’s something to be said about what a modern room can be. A great example of this is Rams Head Live!, a concert hall that gets an exclamation mark in its name and doesn’t waste it. What might be most interesting about the space is that it doesn’t have to work with antiquated design.

Two levels of balcony zigzag the crevices of the space, allowing for viewing not just from the front of the stage, but from the side as well. When full, this can boost the energy to feel like the stage is surrounded by fans. History can be earned in time, but for now, Rams Head Live! provides a worthy alternative than traveling to DC for a mid-level band’s club show.

–Philip Cosores

This content was originally published here.

Maria Bamford: Just As Lovable As Ever

There’s nobody quite like Maria Bamford. She has been a trailblazer in using both standup and her acclaimed Netflix show Lady Dynamite to delve into her experiences with bipolar II disorder and OCD. She’s a talented mimic, shaping her signature squeak into laconic Valley Girl cadences or an earnest Midwestern twang. She is a little strange. She is also terribly charming. Her specials poke fun at the form; one of them featured her doing standup for her parents, sitting on their couch. Her most recent Netflix special, Old Baby, found Bamford starting off performing in the mirror, then moving onto doing jokes for her husband and dogs, then working a small party for friends, then appearing at a bowling alley, and finally crushing it in a theatre full of cheering fans…and then retracing her steps through all these venues, all the way back to her looking in the mirror. It’s like watching an entire comedy career in one hour, both hilarious and poignant.

She is unafraid to experiment with format, turning weird jokes inside out and working them until they’re even weirder—something many women in comedy tend to shy away from, it seems. She is one of the industry’s most well-respected comedians, a comedian’s comedian. And she does a set you’ll never forget. We caught up with Bamford just before she hit Canada for a couple JFL42 dates to discuss opening up about her mental illness, the perils of joking about your family and why we need to pay our comics.

Maria Bamford will be at the JFL42 comedy festival in Toronto Sept. 27 and 28, doing standup and sitting down for a Q&A.

What made you want to get into standup originally? What appealed to you?

I always loved the feeling of being on stage. When I was three, my parents forced me to play the violin, and I loved being on stage, but I did not like playing the violin. I couldn’t wait to get that cock-block out of the way.

What do you love most about doing comedy?

It’s changed over the years. I was very shy, so originally it was a really good way to have human connection, even if it was limited. It felt very safe. Now, it’s just trying new ideas. And still trying to connect with people, although it is more community-oriented: like, I want to connect with other comedians, and be a part of the group. That’s more important now.

What’s the hardest part about being a comedian?

This could be said of every single job in the United States at this point, but there is no social welfare net. So, even if you’re doing a TV set, you really have to have a full-time job, in order to pay expenses, to live in these giant cities like Los Angeles or New York. Yes, certain people won the lottery and are able to do it, but there’s much less of a middle-class element in comedy. The income for middle acts across the country has remained the same for the past 25 years, so that’s the hardest, because being without food or shelter is not as funny as you’d hope.

What are you proudest of, in this new material?

I just to have to keep going, you know? That’s how I look at the arts, at this point, for me, is that I’m a flower, and I’m blooming, and that’s all I need to do. I’ve made it 100 times over—but just to keep making things, I think, is wonderful.

You’ve been lauded for being very open about many topics many folks shy away from, including your mental health experiences, as well as your skill in performing more surrealist bits and strange characters. Does this fearlessness come naturally to you, or do you have to psyche yourself up to be so open on stage?

In any job, there’s always new highs and new lows: like, there’s always a new thing. I did a gala last night for the TV show and I was terrified; I did three runs of the sets and I’m not even sure how it went, after. So I think sometimes newcomers can be just as good—or better—than the comedians who have been doing it for 30 years, because of how much they’ve prepared, and how excited and focused they are. Like, I’m distracted by fudge and kites.

Comedy festivals occasionally come under fire for having too few women on the bill or being too white, but at JFL42 this year there’s a much bigger number of comedians of colour, and female, queer and non-binary comics. Do you feel that the comedy industry is improving, diversity-wise, or are we still woefully lagging behind?

This year has been heartening; it’s a much better situation. The one thing that I think needs to change is that festivals don’t pay the un-repped comics who come out. And those are the people who need it the most. They pay for hotel, but everyone has to pay their flight two weeks out, which means the flights are packed and you have to pay maybe $800 to $1200 per ticket, so you’re borrowing money, or sometimes in the hole, or in credit card debt, to come here. That needs to change.

Being on the road all the time can be really hard on a person. How do you practice self-care?

We slowed down a lot, over the past several years, because of health issues. I just don’t have the energy to do things, so I do probably six cities a month at this point, and just do one night at a time. I’m definitely not a hard-driving comedian doing a 150-day tour on a tour bus, you know? I’m definitely on the high side of self-care; I’m sitting by a pool now, and I’m going to get in it after we get off the phone.

Do you find speaking about your mental health experiences to be cathartic? Does it help in managing your mental health? Do other people who have mental health issues come up to you and thank you for increasing that visibility?

Yes, for sure—it’s been very helpful to me to know how many people are out there who have had the same experiences, or similar experiences. So it’s only been positive.

Is talking about your personal relationships hard on the people you talk about?

I wish I were a better person. My sister finally told me after about 10 years that my impersonations of her hurt her feelings, so I was like, “oh, shit.” So I have had those talks. And I’ve had people do impersonations of me, which is very humbling. I would hope that it brings me closer to people in my life—that they are part of my work—but I also hope that they would feel comfortable telling me if they didn’t like it. My husband has spoken up and said, “hey—the way I appear in that joke, it felt weird,” and I was like, “oh! Oh, yes. Yes, you are correct.” And I rewrote it, and it made it a much better joke. Nothing’s worth losing a family member over; no story or shtick is worth that. Maybe I can work together with my sister, who I’m hoping to talk to about this very issue. It’s interesting, because when I started, and I was doing impersonations of my family, nobody cared, because nobody was watching, and then suddenly—they live in a small town—and people were like [heavy Minnesota accent] “did you hear what your sister said about you? In that one show? Ohh!” So I don’t know what that’s like, and how painful or bizarre that is, so hopefully it’s only to bring us all closer together. The pain, the stinging broth of intimacy that we’re all soaking in.