While I understand that people are disappointed about the backstory re: Kazuki’s wife and blame the writing for making her yet another bland, soulless side character who fades into the background without leaving so much as a strong imprint on us, the audience, I have been thinking about it and even though it can be because of poor writing, falling into clichés that make the story progress easily without delving too much into things… I can also see why Karin described her sister as “happy” and “she loved flowers”. At the end of the day, when we experience loss, all that remains are the memories we have of that person. If we do not move on, or until we move on, like Kazuki, those memories will be rooted in grief. And, don’t get me wrong, the grief will always be there! But with time and conscious effort, it will get easier. Karin has moved on, and she remembers her sister the way someone who wishes to be happy without her does.

At the end of the day, isn’t those things the sort of things people say during wakes and funerals? She was always so happy and full of life. She loved flowers and long walks on the beach. She lived for her family and friends. She was always nice to people. Sure, they’re things people say about those who are no longer with us, that do not really have much depth to it. I’m not denying the lack of profoundness in those statements. But, at the end of the day, it’s the trivial, menial things that get said about those who left us. And I think it’s important to remember that.

I’ve worked myself into a frothing rage and can TYPE now so you get, my real shitty essay on why soulmate aus are arophobic, yes even if they include “platonic soulmates” oh my fucking gods

point the first: I have seen Exactly One platonic soulmate relationship in a fic. including background relationships. including in fics where they explicitly fucking mention that they supposedly exist. for the record it was between a man and a dragon, and the canon relationship is basically some form of a qpr anyway so it took NO imagination to get there (not to say I wasn’t incredibly excited to see it, just. I’m not shocked it happened there). put your money where your mouth is and write them in if they exist. it doesn’t even have to be the main relationship it can be a background relationship if you can afford the time to say “this isn’t arophobic, it includes platonic relationships” you can spare the time to write one in this isn’t that fucking hard

point the second: the concept of soulmates in inherently tied in with the idea that everyone wants One True Monogamous Relationship and is Incomplete Without Their Other Half, which, gross. that’s part and parcel the idea that 1) romantic relationships are Better and More Fufilling than platonic ones, which bad, and 2) the idea that everyone is monogamous and also wants a dedicated relationship. not everyone does, not all aros do, and implying they should is uhhhhhhh not great.

point the third/second and a half sort of: tying in with the second point, a lot of times soulmate aus will specifically mention that People Without Soulmarks Are Evil And Soulless, which. please tell me you can see how that’s arophobic. “but they can be-!” okay great then why does everyone in your story instantly assume their soulmate is alloromantic huh. why do they always assume they have the romantic soulmark. I’m starting to see a fucking trend here.

point the fourth: they reinforce the idea that love is... destined? that you don’t have to work for it? all of my relationships have been work, I’ve had to work for them. I had to push past my own insecurities and choose people, people I trust and care for and love dammit, and soulmates trivialize that. all those relationships you worked for? don’t count, cause now your ~soulmate~ is here and is gonna fix everything and make you feel fufilled and you don’t need your friends! “oh that’s not how it works-” but you see. that’s the Main Idea. that’s The Thing. that’s the fuckin point and it happens in all the soulmate aus I’ve read. well, a lot of them cause I avoid them nowadays and only go in for the ones that have cool concepts apart from the soulmate bit and also don’t seem too arophobic. that’s a must. which leads into my next point!

point the fifth: you can still have all the cool fun bits of a soulmate au (like hiding a mark on your body that Very Clearly represents the object of your affection but oh no! they don’t like me guess I can never tell them and have to make a point to hide it) without the arophobic bullshit. I call them PhysRepRelationshipAUs which is short for “Physical Representation of the Relationship”, yes it’s a mouthful I haven’t come up with a better name. I have read. three. but they’re really fucking good and I actually love this concept. basically, instead of being born with Something to show your ~soulmate~, whenever you develop a relationship with someone, you get... something. in one it’s a tattoo, in one it’s a string, in the third- it’s also a tattoo, but the criteria are instead “whenever something Life Changing happens”, which does include relationships but also things like trauma (that’s a fun one). the REASON this sidesteps all the bullshit that soulmate aus don’t, in ANY fashion is because the 1) don’t rely on destiny, 2) don’t fuckin assume shit, 3) don’t prioritize romantic relationships over any other kind (fantastic, just what I’m looking for). the one I read with tattoos is [here], the one with strings is [here], and the other tattoo one is [here]

in conclusion your arophobia is showing deal with it instead of brushing it under the carpet and pretending it isn’t there. write a physreprelationship au.