my fucked up little meow-meow aka some jon’s scar headcanons

okay, gotta ask.... cannibal dream?

I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE ASKED tw for cannibalism obviously

I had this dream when I was like. sixteen. maybe??? wildest dream ever, haunted me all night, I literally cannot forget it, it was so distinct. SO ANYWAYS: cue this massive dystopian metal city. picture the most grungy futuristic dystopian fantasy-adjacent NYC aesthetic, and it's stacked. the city just keeps stacking on top of itself, building upward constantly toward this grotesque, polluted sky.

I'm somewhere in the pits of this city, but of course, I'm not me. I'm a detective, bottom of the barrel grunge guy scraping by on private practice, constantly trying not to get squashed out of business by the capitalist megacorporations running the place. overpopulation is a huge issue, so no one really cares about missing people here, and anyways, if someone does go missing, most likely you're just not going to find them again. it's a long way down to the bottom of the city, and if you get shoved off the railing of an upper level, you're joining up with plenty of corpses way down at in the abyss.

but hey, detective-me needs to make a living somehow, and someone really wants their sister found. so detective-me and my scrungly-ass partner are kicking some shit up through this gross night market, looking for leads, kinda gettin nowhere. and my partner is eating this hamburger, disgusting greasy thing, and i'm chatting with the hamburger stall guy, asking him if he's seen this girl around. and after a little while, he kinda laughs and is like, you really wanna know? and I'm like yea pls I'd like to be able to keep the lights on. And he's like: well, your partner's eating her. detective-me's partner spits out his burger, starts retching. both of us are horrified. "you don't know?" this grotesque old burger stall man tells us both. "no good meat left on the market. but the corporations give us a bargain on theirs."

turns out that to reduce overpopulation and also profit, the megacorporations that rule this city are basically devouring (literally devouring) people below the poverty line. there's a whole part of this dream where I bounced rapidly back and forth between the pov of the detective-self and the missing girl in the cannibal meat factory, trying to escape even though one of the workers had fallen in love with her but didn't want to let her go. there are some extremely grotesque details i won't include because they were just utterly horrific but anyways yeah then later on i woke up in a cold sweat like WHAT THE FUCK and that's the cannibal dream╰(*°▽°*)╯i've been haunted by it ever since

hi did i ever tell you your art’s amazing and cool and nice and cool and i keep staring at it for extended periods of time and cool

LIKE NOT EVEN JOKING there’s something about ur silly doodles and completed pieces that are????? serotonin inducing??? LIKE THE ARTSTYLE IT’S ADORABLE. IT’S CUTE AND SUPER NICE TO LOOK AT AND IT’S REALLY NEAT!!!! and u’re a really great moot so it’s EXTRA nice i am going to put you in a pickle jar and take you everywhere with me /pos /pos /pos /pos

ALSO I SEVERELY APOLOGIZE FOR CONSTANTLY ASSAULTING YOU AT LIKE 2 - 4 AM I PROMISE I’LL PICK BETTER TIMES DJHDHFHFH

and your little helpers au is so well thought out and THEYRE SO ADORABLE!! LIKE CRESCENTS AND STARS DESIGNS ARE SO BABY. I WANT TO TAKE THEM TO A THEME PARK AND GIVE THEM MANY OF THEIR FAVOURITE FOODS

AND YOUR SUN N MOON DESIGNS….. THEYRE SO SCRUNGLY TOO i want to give them many hugs!!!! ueueueueuue

SORRY AGAIN IF I COME OFF AS WEIRD KDHDJDH brain is Accelerating and i want to attack someone /pos

When I read pickle jar I immediately thought of

BUT ANYWAY NVNVB first you don't come off as weird in a neg way, we're all weird and that is AWESOME OF US

EVERYTIME YOU REBLOG MY ART I LITERALLY COLLAPSE INTO GOOP BC YOU ALWAYS HAVE SUCH NICE THINGS TO SAY???? LIKE??? GOOD GOD YOU'RE SO SWEET SPADE

I'M GLAD YOU ENJOY MY SILLY THINGS and seeing your comments on it is snnnf CRINE /POS

Also BVBVHNBB I PROMISE IT'S NOT AS THOUGHT OUT AS IT SEEMS I JUST THINK UP RANDOM SHIT AND GO "oh yea, this is good"

THEY'D LOVE TO GO TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK OMG BVBVB AND MY SILLY DCAS WOULD HUG YOU (well for Moon it might be more of a chokehold but still)

This is me coming for you

Now the same pyramid scheme top 5 but with men

the amount of Writing man damn!!!

yea i mean. big surprise. innokenty smoktunovsky who was already covered just yesterday + what to watch i've done a few years ago, most links dead anyway at this point i bet, there really isnt anything to cover left besides my ever-expanding commentary on the acting thanks to the arrival of cherk. what i still havent mentioned is до будущей весны that i love despite never watching because he was literally upstaged by a baby. dont fucking care for him if i come to this movie it's always for the baby.

also yea we all know, cherkasov. you should've been here to witness our history that spans over 5 years, the sudden rise to the top is actually shocking. but i just Knew, Felt it as early as 2 years ago even, i'd do similar annual lists elsewhere and they'd ask for best actor of the year, i'd shrug and be compelled to put cherk in there and dont really know why. but it felt right and look at it all now huh. at this point in my investigation i think he's not second best, but is on the same plain as smoktun standing on the other side of it due to different approaches, but also c'est la vie that he got fucked over by himself, and by the times of cinematic styles back then, and then also by post-stalin government. i also think a top five of his doesnt tell shit about The Range, it all comes together when you also consider his other works that are barely watchable so F

1. what do you think that time he got tasked with playing A SINGLE STRAND OF SEAWEED in sadko while still working in operetta with shalyapin. i am actually in love. "i was told to play a strand of seaweed, and im sure you couldnt even see me from where i was on stage, but i got down to business anyway" my god we used to have Real Theater Shalyapin as Sadko: AAAAAAAAAA OOOOO LET ME THE FUCK OUTTTT Octopus: blblblblblblbllb Sea queen to the sea king: when are we getting a sea divorce Cherkasov in the background:

the fucking TRAGEDY that i wasnt there to see it what the FUCK, literally his best role full stop. he peaked before he even started. 2. everything else, sure :/ just as powerful :// i mean yea second best for me is spring always, as per my tradition of loving scrungly non-consequential roles. sometimes it shouldn't take much ye know, but thats where the best effort hides. it's a rare work of his that is realistic and not like theatrical or stylised (re: ivan) and his character there is simply peak man, one of the most guys, a walking dream. AND it's all silley! and love is there! literally what else do you fucking want! watch spring now i've fixed the subs too!!! 3. all remains to people maybe? strange to me because yea i just subbed it and watched it all wrong so it never had the desired effect on me. thats the closest we got to new bullshit-free cinema style with him and i just appreciate it, plus his character is very charming n all and the movie itself is Nice. maybe it's even more telling if you know the backstory, after stalin's death he as a fave got an avalanche of shit thrown over him and by 1963 when all remains to people was made, he didnt have a single movie in 7 years, because all that time and DURING production he was actively shat on by fucking pyriev specifically as well who for some reason tried his utter hardest to make sure his career dies. cherk has outlived his abilities, his style is too theatrical, he no longer can act, like the shit pyriev was spewing shocked the director of the film. my man tovstonogov rescued it all (STAN BDT WATCH HANUMA) and all that time cherk was aware of what was happening and was shaking like a leaf with nerves. imagine being like a five times decorated most famous actor currently shaking about being accepted. but cherk never had any grievances towards anyone during this period, and look at what came out. accused of outliving his own self and being locked in theatrics. and he did all remains to people. maybe it's telling. 4. the children of captain grant bc pog anel <3 his only crime was not being on screen enough, that's where his kiddie theater + pantomime skills come in and he's just so scrungly <333 the plasticity of it all you could hardly believe he then was hawk-like unmoving ivan. plus cherk is a fucking devastating crier it just hits so fucking hard when he does it, and pog anel does cry and oof. 5. debating with myself but peter the great because LMAOOOOO. the utter fucking chaos of it all. dude literally pissing crying every time he's on screen he's SO pathetic SO just scrungly again i just keep coming back to it. The Range, smoktun's been so quiet since this dropped

3. oleg basilashvili aka bas. i keep these next two mostly to myself because some blorbos are for the eyes but some are for the heart only and you do not get to learn more.

1. CONTROVERSIAL but say a word for the poor hussar, solely, and i mean solely, because it was my sudden bas awakening. out of nowhere he upstaged gaft who i watched this movie for and the rest is history. the movie is so mid and i kept it out of ryazanov month on purpose even, and his character is once again Scrunge, but his performance of a pathetic little bitch was just... i dont know it awakened things in me. 2. ez, guess it's station for two fellas, also a lot of good acting to look at plus wow. peak malewife archetype i think ryazanov reached the height of it with this film. soooo pathetic omg <3 im so glad my sudden bas awakening lead me first to autumn marathon that i actually hate with every fibre of my being, which then forced me to say fuck to my sleep and watch 2 hours of station and believe in Life again, the ways this movie shook me is something i always chase with cinema. 3. master and margarita sure, his voland is tired, blabla not like in the book everything, but man he's cool. the more i rewatch the series the more i appreciate him, just the presence alone. 4. the play i saw life in bdt with freindlich, legit thought WOAA SMOKTUN LEVEL there. the play had so many funny moments, his character talks with a youngster who's like "yea we suck face" he's like what. the kid is like "well, we kiss" and right at the end of the play, the literal final line after he almost died on freindlich was like "well, dear, should we, as they say, SUCK FACE??" [thunderous applause] what scenes. 5. lmaoo fine. autumn marathon. i hate is so much. that counts as a memorable emotion innit. nobody gets to say the movie is bad in my presence and when bas is involved. but god i fucking hate it. soo bad.

4. valentin gaft actually <3 i even have two poetry books of his, he is not just scrungly he is The Scrunge himself and also oh my!

1. THE WIZARDS???? AT LAST????? my god peak gaft movie that he hated, the comedy of it all he's so great!! a great example of a villain who's just a little meow meow, love satan with my whole heart also best movie ever!!! 2. an orphan of kazan because he genuinely smiles there, also the movie is Nice. you cant just skip straight to it, you have to Work to see gaft smile 3. hello im your aunt, all he does is drink up and square up!!!! movie's fucking iconic and im glad he's just there to contribute to it, im just so glad he was a part of my childhood without me realising, i Feel my faves in my fucking bones. also boom and he shows off his muscles and everyone is shook. 4. my dearly beloved detective i guess, lester is soooo iconic and fuking NOBODY appreciates it here it drives me insane. HE'S GOT THE BEST FUCKING ONE LINERS IN THERE NOBODY CARES ABOUT HOLMES WATSON WHATEVER TF!!!! year ten of me being lester's only fan 5. i could've said 12, i could've said garage, i could've said voland, but i will say those two weird ass shows where he shares scenes with his wife because holy shit :'))

5. bro man i dont know even, i do have a post that summarises all my faves at the time and with some of them, the fling is defs over or we're just Normal about it. they are now in the lesser bucket so let me instead list all the times somebody i was watchin the movie for got upstaged by somebody else entirely

1. tikh got upstaged by yank in to kill a dragon and how else, the second he got literally groped by yank it was all over for the old man. 2. smoktun being upstaged by a baby what a classic 3. cherk's last movie where he was for .24 seconds anyway that got stolen completely by strzhelchik as nikolay the first, a lot of Feelings were reconsidered this month 4. bas for gaft rip

careening through the universe