#but also man they really fucking just cut out a major twist to everybody’s plans didn’t they lmao
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the reasons for this, ftr, are:
1) in general dany and tyrion are usually my fave pov chapters to read in any of the books
2) the dorne stuff and faegon stuff is more interesting than the mess that is the rest of westeros sorry not sorry
3) i generally find the stuff with non-westerosi cities etc more interesting than westeros itself
#this said bran and arya are a bit of a slog for me in dance lol#also only somewhat relatedly but i’ve been working through s1 of GoT w eddy#and a VERY funny consequence of early vs late series book loyalty#is they SHOW illyrio and varys talking to each other onscreen#only a few seasons later to COMPLETELY ABANDON THE PLOTTING THAT THEY WERE ACTUALLY DOING#i do agree with the take that faegon’s absence in the show likely means he is indeed a fake#(whether he or joncon are aware of this or not)#but also man they really fucking just cut out a major twist to everybody’s plans didn’t they lmao
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The Giant of Marathon
For some reason, probably because I've seen them all so many times, I thought I'd already done all four Film Crew episodes. Evidently this is not true. Here's one, and if you haven't seen it... wow, Mr. Honcho was not exaggerating about the thousands of sweaty men.
Philippides of Athens is the greatest athlete there is, having won the entire Olympics. With the games over, he returns to his day job as commander of the Athenian city guard. Followers of Hippias the exiled tyrant are plotting to take control of the city with help from the invading Persians, and they try to seduce Philippides to their cause by offering him wine, women, and homoerotic wrestling (it was ancient Greece, after all). Philippides refuses to be seduced, and sets off to secure the help of Athens' old enemy Sparta in opposing the Persians. His mission is a success, but upon his return a spy tells him that the Persians are planning a sneak attack on the harbour of Piraeus. Can even Philippides get there in time to deliver the warning?
I don't actually know if it were possible to win the entire Olympics in ancient Greece. I know there were several events and at least one of them involved reciting poetry. The Battle of Marathon was in 490 BC and a table on Wikipedia suggests that there could have been up to twelve different sports, but some of them were only for children.
The Giant of Marathon touts itself as a tale of epic battles, daring deeds, and political machinations. I'll get back to the epic battles and daring deeds, but what stands in for the political machinations is mostly a bunch of people pining. Unimpressive villain Theocritus is pining for the beautiful Andromeda, whose father has promised her to him but she thinks he's a dick. She's pining for Philippides, who is also pining for her but thinks she's one of Hippias' followers, so refuses to speak to her. Meanwhile Theocritus' concubine Charis is also pining for Philippides because he's the only man who ever refused to fuck her, I think.
These relationships are important to the plot, too. Andromeda's love for Philippides is one of the reasons her father refuses to join the traitors, and when Theocritus realizes he cannot have her, he ties her to the prow of his ship to force Philippides to watch her die. Charis' crush on Philippides leads her to her death, as she is executed for spying. Yet none of it is ever developed beyond 'these two pretty people saw each other and now they want to bone'. Philippides declares his love for Andromeda after a single five-minute interaction. Charis has seen Philippides twice, and both times it went badly, when she decides to betray Theocritus.
Why do the writers hang such important plot points on the 'love' between people who have barely spoken to each other? I can't decide if it's because they're lazy, or because they're hacks, and I lean towards a combination of the two. There is absolutely no subtlety to the writing in The Giant of Marathon at all. Everything is told, not shown. We know that Theocritus and Creusus are traitors because they talk about it, in dialogue that's clearly written for the audience, not as anything that sounds like a natural conversation. We know that Charis and Andromeda are both in love with Philippides because they say so. The only thing we're really shown is that Andromeda hates Theocritus, which comes through in her body language (though we are also very much told), so props to actress Mylène Demongeot for that much.
The movie doesn't care about any of this character stuff, anyway. It just wants to get straight to those epic battle scenes, and it's very obvious how much work and time went into those as opposed to everything else. The battles are lengthy and elaborate, full of impressive stunts and props and miniatures being destroyed all over the place. We get to see Persian chariots run down Greek infantry, and while I'm pretty sure this would have been orchestrated so the stuntmen didn't get hurt, I'm not nearly so confident about the unfortunate horses (and neither was Bill). There are ships in flames and injured men screaming as they fall overboard. There are even some pretty good deaths, like the guy who was hit in the eye with an arrow. The desperate last stand of the city guard against the entire Persian fleet, with the Spartans arriving just in time to save the day, is very tense indeed.
I get the impression that this is what somebody really wanted to put on screen, and they did a decent job of it, but pretty much the entire rest of what ought to be the story is just an accessory to the fighting stuff. It's as if the film-makers wanted so badly for their fight sequences to be epic that they forgot what makes epic-ness – which is the characters and their stake in the events. We don't know any of these people, none of them have anything we might call a personality trait, and so we don't care.
The focus on how epic it all is makes I seem a little strange that the battle ends on a shot of dead Persian guys floating in the water. You'd think they'd want to end with something that more decisively shows the Athenian victory, maybe the men cheering as the Persian ships turn around and flee. Or perhaps some kind of victory celebration, which could mirror the celebration of Philippides winning the Olympics in the opening and call back to the scene where Philippides asks the goddess Athena to protect her city.
Instead, we cut to a shot of Philippides and Andromeda walking across the farmland together. This feels a little too sudden, and is also a poor fit with the rest of the movie. The only time we've seen Philippides on his farm is when he's gotten disgusted with the politics of Athens and returned to the countryside to sulk. If the farm is supposed to be a place where he's happy and at peace, the movie never establishes it.
So that's political machinations and epic battle sequences, let's talk about some daring deeds.
Unlike the Hercules and Maciste movies we've seen in the past, The Giant of Marathon wants to be grounded in real-life history. This means that while the script does reference gods and mythical heroes, none of them ever appear and there is no hint of them working behind the scenes to bring events about. Likewise, Philippides is not a demigod, so we avoid several of the tropes associated with the genre. Nothing important ever happens (or fails to happen) because the hero was asleep, and he never bends prison bars or drinks a love potion – although a love potion is mentioned, as if to draw attention to this.
This doesn't leave Philippides a whole lot of scope for daring deeds, and when they try the results are a little lackluster. His main feat is, of course, running all the way from Marathon to Athens (the proverbial forty-two kilometres) to let them know of the impending attack, but while this ought to be the highlight of the movie it's shot in terrible day-for-night and we have nothing to suggest how far this is... I think the writers just assumed everybody knows the length of a marathon. If we'd seen the army tired from making the march earlier, we would have a better sense of it being a long and tiring journey even at a walk or with horses, and it would seem that much more formidable as a distance for one man to cover before sunrise. Of course, showing us these things is apparently beyond the scope of The Giant of Marathon's writers, but you'd think they could at least have a character say something like, “it's twenty-six miles! He'll never make it!”
His other major daring deed is when he pushes giant boulders down a hill onto the attacking Persians. This is kind of weird because Philippides is not Hercules or Maciste. He's good at track and field, but we haven't seen any evidence of him having godlike strength, and this is a universe where gods don't seem to do much anyway, so it comes out of nowhere. The rocks are huge – there are similarly-sized ones at the park near my house and I know one guy couldn't move them no matter how buff he might be. Did somebody just forget that they weren't making a Hercules movie?
Between the battles and the various plot twists, The Giant of Marathon could have been a pretty fun sword-and-sandal movie, but it's like a tower without a foundation. The fights have nothing to hold them up, so we just can't get into it. Also, what the Underworld happened to Hippias? We see him once, chatting with the king of Persia, and then he vanishes and the movie decides weaselly little Theocritus is the big bad instead. I'm sorry, but if you've got a character with a name as cool as 'Hippias the Tyrant', you really can't just drop him like that.
The Best Brains liked to complain about the tinyness of the costumes in these movies but honestly, nothing here is as off-putting as actual ancient Greek sports would have been to the modern viewer. When I was in university I TA'd for a course called Introduction to Greco-Roman Civilization. It was an adventure in several ways – the students were mostly dumb freshmen who spent the lectures playing Farmville, and the professor didn't give a shit because she'd just been denied tenure. I don't know how much anybody learned in that class, but I'm sure they all recall how, after the professor told us that Greek athletes stripped naked and covered themselves in olive oil before wrestling, somebody raised a hand and asked if they removed their body hair. The professor cheerfully told him that they did not, so next time we see a Greek vase we ought to remember that these guys were much sweatier, oilier, and hairier than terra cotta can possibly convey.
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Toxic Turner - part 3
WARNINGS: this story contains signs of a toxic and manipulative relationship. also contains smut, mentions of drugs and alcohol. some scenes contain forms of abuse. read at ur own risk :)
hours went by, all morning you argued and bickered. you gained a little more hatred each other. eventually you'll get sick of him, but at the moment you couldn't resist him. you had both planned to spend the afternoon at your family's house for a barbecue.
you and alex stepped out of the car as you arrived at your mothers house. "you're lucky you're even here, don't test my patience" he sternly said to you as he closed his car door. the two of you were having a row about something totally stupid in the car. "you can't stop me from seeing my family, asshole" you roll your eyes as you begin walking to the door, he pulls you back by your wrist to walk alongside him. "i can, and i will" he whispered in your ear as the pair of you walk inside together where you're immediately greeted by your mother who rushes to hug you both.
"we're having a barbecue" she says, pointing to the back yard through the kitchen window. you and alex glance outside to see quite a few people. "oh nice" you smile as you grab a soft drink before heading outside to greet the rest of your family. you and alex were glued together, there was no tearing you apart. your family saw you as the perfect couple, but nobody sees what goes on behind closed doors.
"hey guys." your cousin says approaching you both. he sits next to you on a small wall where you could glance at everyone from. "what's up" alex said and fist bumped your cousin. "want one?" he asks you, pulling a blunt out of his pocket. you and your cousin bonded greatly over that stuff. "no than-" alex begins but you quickly cut him off. "yeah" you say, taking the blunt from your cousins hands, he lights it up for you and you begin smoking it. "really?" alex asks you as your cousin walks away to see to your other cousins. "what?" you ask, taking a puff from it. he gives you a judging look. you furrow your eyebrows at him. "you're allowed to smoke cigarettes but i can't smoke weed?" you ask, chuckling to annoy him. "no, you can't" he said, reaching over to rip the blunt from your lips. he puts it out and shoves it in his pocket.
"alex" you say and reach back over for it but he shoves you back. "don't go anywhere" he said, assisting you to stay with the gesture of his hand. he stands up and heads inside to grab a drink of alcohol for himself. you sigh to yourself as you sit innocently on the half wall waiting for him. "y/n, why you sitting over there by yourself?" your mom loudly asks over the music sounds. "come here" she says, you giggle and shake your head reassuring her that you were ok. you wanted to go to her, but alex would be mad. he liked to keep you all to himself.
he came back with two glasses of alcohol, handing one to you before sitting back down next to you. "i told you i'm not drinking tonight" you sigh, looking down at your half-empty glass of orange juice on the floor next to your feet. "you'll do whatever i say" he stubbornly says, taking a sip from his drink and looking around at everyone, giving them judging looks per usual. "drink it" he raises his eyebrows at you, pressuring you into drinking the alcohol. you huff through your nose as you took a sip of the alcohol. he laughs at you to make you feel embarrassed. "a bigger sip than that" he chuckles, pointing down at your glass you to pressure you into drinking more. you roll your eyes at him before taking a big gulp from the glass. "that's more like it" he smirks, taking a sip from his own glass.
you scoff and mumble something under your breath, making him sternly look at you. "what did you say?" he intimidatingly asks. "nothing" you shake your head without looking at him. you're making him angry by doing simply nothing. "you're so lucky you're with your family" he mumbles. "or what?" you chuckle at him. "or i'll hurt you" he smirks at you. you just look down at the glass in your hands and nervously ignore him. "yeah, that'll shut you up" he laughs before continuing to drink his drink.
as the afternoon went on, you began to get intoxicated. alex wanted to get you drunk on purpose, he wasn't even tipsy by the slightest. "woah" you say as you stumble over your own feet whilst dancing with your sister and aunt. "careful" your aunt says as you hook onto her arm to keep yourself stable. the three of you giggling as you continue to dance. alex, sitting on a table with a few of your relatives, was just watching you and secretly smirking at how drunk you began to get. "they need to slow down on their drinks" your grandma said and chuckled, alex chuckling along to agree.
some more time passed, you were in the living room drunk chatting away with one of your sisters guy friends. alex hadn't seen you for a while so he began to look for you. he walks into the house and hears your voice, heading straight to you. he walks in and is greeted by the sight of you alone with another man. internally, his blood is boiling, but externally, he remains calm. "y/n come on" alex says, walking over to you and pulling you up by your arm. "sorry" alex apologizes to the guy on your behalf of annoying him. "it's fine, might need to give her some water" the guy chuckle. you giggle at him before alex pulled you out of the room. "i need to pee" you say, your voice stumbling with your feet. alex takes you to the downstairs bathroom and locks it after you both.
you begin to do your business as alex leans his back against the door, watching you. "stop- watching me pee. it's weird. you're weird" you drunkly speak. "yeah ok, y/n" alex rolls his eyes at you. when you were done, you flushed the toilet and washed your hands with him still standing against the door. "what's your problem?" you ask, looking at him through the mirror before walking away from the sink to grab a towel from the shelf. you start to dry your hands as you're facing him now. "what do you mean?" he frowns at you with his arms crossed over his chest. "you've got issues.. ma-major issues" you continue to speak. it's the alcohol talking the truth. "ok" he chuckles to himself to remain calm otherwise he'd be angry at you. it wasn't long before he got angry though.
"you're so full of yourself.. you think you're the best but you're just a.. control freak" you giggle, rubbing your red eyes, smudging your mascara. "are you high?" he asks, frowning at you whilst glaring into your clearly stoned eyes. you deny it but now he knows why you were gone for ages. "who did you smoke weed with?" he asks, walking over to you but you push him away. "none of your business, alex" you say with a messy voice. "don't talk to me like that" he says through gritted teeth as he grabs your arms and pins you against the wall. "or what? you'll hurt me?" you mock him, laughing in his face. he angrily huffs, you're testing his patience. "you're just.. abusive.. you love hurting your girlfriend" you begin to laugh, there are people constantly walking past the bathroom door so he shuts you up by covering your mouth so nobody would eavesdrop on what you were saying.
"no i don't. you make me hurt you" he angrily but quietly says. "no i don't.. i don't ask you to hit me" you giggle, rubbing your eyes again but he forces your hands down. "i don't hit you" he says with a confused tone on his voice. "ok.. believe whatever you want.. i- i don't care" you say. the alcohol has gotten to your head, making you blurt out things you don't mean to say to him. some things that weren't even true.
"jesus christ, stop talking" he says to you as he let's you of you and backs away. he lets you free roam around the bathroom but he's not gonna let you out. "no.. i won't stop talking.. i hate you, you're a cunt" you begin to raise your voice at him, making him have to shut you up. he grabs you again, twisting you around so fast, that you stumble over your own feet. his hand is grasped around your mouth from behind as your back leans against his chest. "shut the fuck up. i'm giving you one more chance or i'm taking you upstairs" he sternly whispers in your ear. "to do what? have sex with me? i'm drunk i can't consent to that" you mumble under his hand. he rolls his eyes at you, letting go of you but keeping a firm grip on your wrist so you won't run away. he opens the door, dragging you to the stairs, shoving you up the first step. you stumble over it, but walk in front of him.
you reached your old bedroom now, alex walks in behind you and closes the door. "you need to watch your fucking mouth" he points in your face, beginning to argue with you. "no i won't watch my mouth.. my mom doesn't even like you.. she always tells me that- that you have a nasty attitude" you yell at him. "your family brainwashes you all the time. i see how they treat you" alex laughs. he's trying to manipulate you into turning against your family. "what?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows at him. he laughs at you to put you down. "you're fucking stupid for not seeing it. they hate you" he yells at you, trying to upset you on purpose.
"no they don't hate me" you yell back at him. "they always say your sister is better than you. they don't care about you" he laughs. you're not even fighting back anymore, you're just standing there taking in what he said. "everybody uses you.. you're so easy" he tells you. he's making you feel worthless at this point, but he was purposely doing it. "even i use you sometimes, because you're so perfect" he says, looking down at your body. "you bought me up here to take advantage of me, is that it?" you ask, giving him an evil look. "no, i came up here to tell you how fucking stupid you are" he yells the last part at you, pointing in your face. "you're pathetic, y/n" he chuckles, putting his hands on you but you viciously slap him away.
"you're a dick.. you know that?" you roll your eyes. your drunkenness was starting to fade away, all this yapping began to turn you sober. "i know i am" he raises his voice at you. "get out" you say, shoving him back but he grabs you to keep you in your place. "get the fuck outtttt" you yell at him, dragging the last part out. you begin to thrash about as you escape his grip and hit his arm to get him away from you. he slapped your face with force as you gasped and bought your hand to your cheek, looking up at him with innocent eyes.
"aww suck it up you slut" he scoffs seeing tears in your eyes. you ignore him as you sit down on your bed and fondle with your hands in your lap. you start to silently cry to yourself. you both remain silent for a minute until he sits next to you. you look at him and see him glaring at you. "what?" you say quietly with shakiness in your voice. "you look beautiful" he smiles at you to mess with your thoughts. "i look like a mess" you say, glaring at yourself in the mirror opposite your bed. your hair was messy, your eyes were smudged with mascara and tears. your lipstick was fading away. "a beautiful mess" he chuckles, wrapping his arm around your shoulder rubbing it to comfort you. "hey, don't cry" he says, lightly kissing your cheek. with his other hand he wipes your tears away with his thumb. "i cant help it" you say with an innocent tone of voice as you look down at your lap, still playing with your hands to distract yourself from anything else.
your anxiety was through the roof, alex only made it worse. he emotionally abused you all the time, he just wants to keep you to himself. all to himself.
alex comforted you for a while before you decided to head back downstairs. you both cuddled for a while, he apologized and you forgave him. you always forgive him, even when you shouldn't. a few minutes later you heard a knock on your bedroom door. you both ignored it, but that's when it opened. "what the fuck are you doing up here? come and join the party" your drunk aunt says, raising a bottle of alcohol in her hand. she notices your smudged makeup and tear stained cheeks and frowns. "why you crying?" she asks you, grabbing your hand to pull you up. now standing up, she pulls you into a hug and you giggle at her. "nothing, don't worry" you chuckle at her. she hugged you harder until you were both swaying slightly.
she glares at alex still sat on the bed. she opens her arm and invites him into the hug too. "come.. here" she drunkly blurts. he chuckles and stands up, wrapping his arm around your waist and your aunt's to hug you both. "i love you both.. you're my favorite couple here" she says, resting her head on your chest as you and alex lock eyes and snicker at her drunk behavior.
after spending a few more minutes upstairs, your aunt dragged you and alex downstairs for more drinks. you were adamant you weren't going to touch a drop of alcohol today, but you already got wasted once so why not do it again? "chug it.." your aunt says, handing you an open bottle of alcohol. you raise your eyebrows and laugh as your family cheer you on. you bring the bottle to your mouth and start slowly chugging it. once you finished, you threw the bottle over your shoulder and it hit the grass. your family cheered for you and you began to enjoy the rest of your night, putting the petty argument behind you.
alex joined in this time, the pair of you started to get wasted together. you danced, sang and partied for hours on end, until you eventually passed out on the living room sofa.
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My thoughts on Episode 3--Hunted.
Most of you lovelies already realize this, but my thoughts tend to zig and zag quite a bit, lol. So. To save some of you the headache and spare you from seeing spoilers you’d rather not see yet, I’m again placing them behind a cut.
First things first. I have totally turned into Yvette Nicole Brown with her TWD notebooks, lol, and I’m not even sorry. I just felt like it would be fun to go back when the final episode is in the books and see how well my thoughts from these early episodes line up with what I’m feeling when we say our (not-so) final goodbyes.
But that’s enough about that. Let’s get to this thing.
It really is insane how very much I love Melissa McBride. Just hearing her doing the previously on TWD recap voiceover makes me ridiculously happy.
Cole! Dude! We hardly knew ya.
Not gonna lie. That first shot of Maggie in all the chaos reminded of a shirt I’ve seen. It says--”Well, well, well. If it isn’t the consequences of my actions.”
I have to hand it to Angela and the rest of her team. These opening scenes--on all 3 episodes--have been BOMB so far. They really hook you in right away. At least IMHO.
I realize I’m behind the game on this little tidbit, but how much do I adore the fact that Dog is now in the opening credits?
Okay. Alexandria might look like it’s been on some kind of post-apocalyptic bender but all our girls are looking beautiful as ever. Maybe it’s Maybelline, lol.
I love to see Kelly and Carol still gravitating toward each other. It really speaks to each woman’s heart. Carol wants to make amends so badly and Kelly just has the most lovely, warm, forgiving heart.
Carol’s point about Alexandria still needing the horses to help with the heavy lifting and pointing out the walls and rebuilding won’t matter quite as much if they’re limited by their hunger and what they can physically lift on their own isn’t wrong. But I’m sure the same viewers that were okay with Daryl and Co. going out on Maggie’s suicide mission (using the same reasoning) and saying it made sense for the bigger picture will pretend not to recognize that the same element is there in Carol’s desire to go out there and look for the horses. You know. Because it was Carol’s idea and not that of their fave(s).
Aaron, Man. Or maybe I should say Angela. You just had to put a pit of dread in my belly mentioning Buttons like that. RIP, Buttons. You deserved better. I’m still traumatized.
Look at all the babies bonding. Look at RJ getting to sit at the big kid table.
“My mom always comes back.” She damn well better. Those babies need her. Until she does, though, Uncle Daryl and Aunt Carol (and Aunt Rosita and everybody else) are going to be there.
Anyway. Poor RJ. He barely ever gets any lines, lol.
Hershel and Judith are obviously the mini-adults in this group and baby Rhee is already more cynical and jaded than his sweet daddy was until they reached Alexandria and the wheels started to come off.
So. Does Maggie just think everybody’s already dead here or what? Hmm.
You know. Any building can be creepy AF when the lights are off and it’s dark, lol. Any building.
So much darkness so far this season. I’m going to have to invest in some blackout curtains. I just know it.
Where are all those stairs leading? Why am I thinking of Hitchcock? Am I mixing up my scary, suspenseful movies? Probably.
Of fucking course, Maggie dropped her flashlight. Thank goodness she had that lighter at the ready just before Ghost Face Reaper took a swipe at her.
Is that Father G with a screwdriver impaled in his thigh? Listen. These people deserve a Mega Bottle of pain killers and a week just vegging out in a soft, luxurious bed.
All these horror movie tropes. Some of them are cheesy, yes. But I’m totally here for it.
LMAO. That’s it, Maggie. A good old punch in the nuts works every time.
Alden really is having a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.
Negan is still Negan. Self-serving and looking out for number one. But I believe the man really does feel the group is his group too. He’s like that long lost, sketchy uncle nobody wants to acknowledge much less invite to the dinner table, but that bond? However thin? Is there.
I am both hating that Maggie is being forced to work with the man that murdered her husband (my baby Glenn) and finding it fascinating the lengths she’s willing to go to survive. This your plan, Angela?
Rosita and Carol! How sad is it that the last really significant scene I can remember the two of these women sharing was way back? Before Rick and Co. attacked Negan’s outpost and Maggie and Carol were subsequently taken? If only the show had done more of these kind of scenes.
How much do I love all the girls working together? Gimps would never. They’d all be stuck back at Alexandria minding the kids and the community.
Shallow aside--Rosita is so pretty in this scene.
Rosita being worried about Carol honestly makes my heart hurt, because it’s about damn time more of them actually did. Her saying Abraham is trying to tell her something in her dreams is interesting. Angela sure loves her dreams, doesn’t she?
Where are Daryl’s dreams, hmm? No. Seriously. I guess they want to give some viewers plausible deniability until the bitter end.
“Really? We’re just gonna go toward the screaming? Cool.” Hahaha. You know. Even the smart people in horror movies sometimes bite it, Negan. Just saying. Maggie really does need to “stop running up the staircase” when she could just run out the front door though, lol.
Poor Duncan. I think you could have been another Tyreese, Jerry type for me.
WTF does this show have against horses? Those poor creatures.
Kelly is totally me right now. I’d be freaking inconsolable.
Carol needed that hug. Thank you, Magna. From the bottom of this tired fangirl’s heart, thank you.
Why give us that beautiful, golden shot with the horses when you’re planning to stab us through the heart later and twist the knife. Oh. Yeah. That’s exactly why.
Oh snap! Father G’s delivery when he tells that Reaper “I’m not. God isn’t here anymore.” Cold as ice.
Judas. That the Reapers’ work. Or. Damn. Either way, that’s harsh.
Back to what Alden was saying. All these oprhaned children. Who’s going to take on Adam if he dies? That poor kid has had a rough go of it. Knowing that, makes you wonder what Alden was thinking volunteering for the suicide mission.
Omigosh. There went Agatha. Terrible way to go. Right, Beatrice?
I’m sobbing. Carol with the horse. That hurt my baby so much but she hurt herself for her family the same way she has been doing since the Prison. Melissa Mcbride? When she cries, I cry. Every effin’ time. Aaron being there just made it hurt more. But at least someone was there to see how and really take in how she continues to break pieces of herself off to keep her family as whole and safe and happy as she can.
Rewinding a minute--that Magna and Carol conversation. I get Magna’s reasoning too. I do. But Angela is just making everything so dire right now so that the sun when Connie is ultimate found shines a ltitle brighter.
Those babies know they’re eating horse. I could never.
That’s got to be a different Coco. She’s even smaller. But she’s gorgeous.
Fucking finally. Angela having the other characters notice after an eternity of being blind to it, just how much Carol sacrifices of herself for them. It’s so long overdue and I imagine Rosita’s even more worried for Carol now. It’s a shame it’s taken 11 seasons. My baby’s had blood on her hands trying to keep her family safe and whole and happy and fed for a long damn time. So heartbreaking watching her try to scrub the blood away.
Sweet, sweet hug that Kelly gave Magna. She’s such a sweetheart kid sis to all of them, isn’t she?
Interesting place of refuge. A gutted church. A visual symbol, Angela, of where Maggie and the rest of our people are now perhaps?
“It’s easy for you, isn’t it? Being reckless with sombody’s life...” Maggie. Maggie. Those words would have hit so much harder if we hadn’t spent the majority of the last 2.5 episodes watching you ignore sound advice just because it came out of the mouth of somebody you (justifiably) hate.
But will Alden be there when Maggie and Negan get back? That is the question. Or will he eventually Lucille himself?
That little bit of lineup Negan music to remind the audience of Negan lovers and sympathizers that he once took great pleasure in murderously swinging a bag at people’s heads was a nice, subtle touch there. Like agree with her or not, Maggie is literally left to rely on the hope, however small it is, that Negan has changed just enough that he won’t try to finish a job he taken on years before--killing what’s left of her.
Oh lawd. Next episode sees the return of a character literally nobody asked for. How excited am I not?
Dog better not be harmed or so help me.
Now for Angela’s weekly explanations of WTF she/there were thinking because they been doing this plausible deniability thing so long some people out there watching with biased, muddy stan glasses can no longer separate head canon from canon.
Is Maggie worried at all about Daryl or does she just assume his superhero powers are in full effect in this episode?
“You can’t really say it wasn’t going to happen anyway.” Not Angela pointing out that simply laying the blame for literally everything bad that ever happens at Carol’s feet isn’t the answer. Say it louder for those in the back. Alpha was going to do what Alpha wanted to do.
“There is love there. There is respect there. However, there’s also frustration...” You damn skippy. Friendships and human relationships are complex AF. Like Carol. She’s honestly one of the most complicated characters on this show and any show, IMHO. That’s what makes her so memorable and such a lightning rod for discussion.
I know I might be in a minority, but I really feel like they need more of those little scenes between the kids to keep things real.
Kang saying she always feels like she’s going to get murdered in a staircase or parking lot is relatable, funny, and sad all at the same time. It’s a girl thing.
Why is Carol’s story giving me Dark Knight vibes? Like I feel like she’ll gladly shoulder the burden of their distrust, their hate, or their judgment as long as the hard choices she makes keeps them safe. And she’s still ultimately going to come back to save their asses even when they forsake her. Just like Bruce Wayne/Batman. Am I reaching too far, lol? Because sometimes I do that.
Anyway. This is the third episode of the season and the third episode in a row that I mostly enjoyed. I don’t know if I’m just so relieved and happy to have all the characters and my show back or what, but overall? I’ve been pleased with the episodes and found something to love in all of them.
There’s a much stronger horror vibe woven throughout Season 11 so far. I feel like it’s a return to the roots of the show and I like that. Literally none of the characters are making perfect choices and this viewer is here for it. My only complaint so far is there hasn’t been enough Carol but what we’ve been given has felt like a gift and significant in a way that Gimps’ version was not. Also? I really hope the trend of the ladies working together and supporting each other continues because they rule the TWD world, lol.
Hope you enjoyed at least some of my TWD word vomit.
Until next episode.
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So, uh, that DT17 finale huh?
I would've made this right after I watched the finale, but I wanted to give it a bit of time to sink in fully and made sure I thought everything through before giving my thoughts on it. Not the worst finale there is, but it definitely could've been way better in my opinion. I've heard about the finale from my friends who've seen it, which from the sounds of it I already wasn't liking it, but since I've seen the finale now, how I feel about it is now concrete and set in stone and I feel the same as before.
Maybe how I feel about it is in the minority side, or maybe a majority side, I dunno but I don't care. It's not the best it could've been and I'll explain why below. If you like it, good for you I guess because everyone's tastes are different, but I personally don't and I feel like the show deserves a much better finale than this.
HEAVY DUTY DISCLAIMER: Just because I'm criticizing the finale doesn't mean I don't love the series, in fact it's because I love the show that I'm giving criticism and give what I would’ve done instead, and if you're anything like me and you're hella late to the party then there'll be spoilers for the finale. If you haven't caught up on the last episode, then you're not missing much honestly, but if you don't like spoilers regardless then watch that first then come back
The first part of the finale starts off like any other DuckTales 2017 episode. It's Webby's birthday, everyone's keeping their eyes out for F.O.W.L. shit, and Webby's enjoying herself. After a bit everyone goes below Funso's and they end up in F.O.W.L.'s territory. F.O.W.L. sets everything up to be on self-destruct, so they gotta find them and stop the self-destruction. They did happen to do the latter, but the F.O.W.L. members already escaped with almost everything. Just almost. The gang end up finding May and June, who're clones and they presume they're clones of Webby.
Now this is where I'm starting to not like the finale. Yeah, you can do clones as like a plot twist, but at the same time it feels a bit outta nowhere. Had they foreshadowed it in another episode or have it lead up to the whole "oh shit there's clones of a character we know and love" thing then I wouldn't have a problem, but this came outta nowhere and I kept an eye on possible foreshadowing during season 3 and the rest of season 2 post The Duck Knight Returns too so I would've picked something up. The only thing that could count as foreshadowing was when Beakley promised Webby that she won't keep anymore secrets from her and the harp was saying "fibbing fibbing fibbing", but that's just it.
Part two of the finale, Gyro does tests on them to see who they might've been clones of. He tries to tell everyone what the results are but when Scrooge asks him, he said it didn't come up with anything for him to answer the question. Beakley thinks they're both dangerous and locks them up in a closet. Webby, being a naive little girl, wants to talk to them because they're essentially her 'sisters' and she wants to know them more even though Beakley straight up tells her not to interact with them.
Webby disregards what Beakley says anyways and she frees them, talks to them, and tries to show them her family tree so they can figure out where May and June came from. May and June are basically like "ehhhh this is your family tree? Who tf are you related to besides Beakley?" yeah, as if extended family or found family still ain't family you jerks. In the meantime, Louie just wants to watch his Ottoman Empire finale which ends up being shitty foreshadowing for the last part of this finale. You'll see why I mentioned this later.
They even see Lena and Violet on there and are like "okay but who're those" which Webby responds with how they're her best friends and guess what one of the two clones goes to do? One of them grabs scissors and tries to cut it. When she does cut it, Lena's like "aw hell no bitch" and uses magic on her. Webby being Webby, is completely upset about this because "that was my sister how could you do that" and runs off like how one of the clones ran off. Bitch you only knew her for like five seconds, just because y'all be related don't mean you automatically THIS close to each other like how you are with Lena, Violet, Huey, Dewey, Louie, and anybody else in the McDuck family.
I personally believe that love, trust, and respect is what makes people family, not blood/DNA, adoption, or they were married into the family or a step sib/kid/etc. If they're a harmful dick (i.e. a bigot who's queerphobic and/or racist or if they're an abuser, murderer, etc.) then you don't gotta treat them like family or say that they're your family. But anyways we're probs getting off topic, point is that she should trust those who she's known forever instead of clones she knew for a few minutes.
Everybody tries to find Webby and one of the clones that ran off. Webby bumped into Beakley as she was tryna find May or June (I think May tho, don't recall) and she tries to lie her way outta it but Beakley knows what's up lol. She says that Webby wants to see the clones, Webby goes with it, and the younger duck wants to know who her parents were. Beakley tells her who her parents were (which might've either been a lie or she was describing herself and a late significant other that we've seen in Webby's picture of her parents) and Webby accepts it.
Cut to later when she catches May and June trying to steal the ancient artifacts that Scrooge and co. retrieved during the entirety of season 3. She's shocked that they're even doing this, they all fight each other, and May escaped while June got knocked out. Webby disguises herself as June while she takes her outside where F.O.W.L. awaited them with an aircraft, most importantly Bradford. We only find out Webby was disguising herself as June when everyone got on. Huey notices what's going on and he goes after them, somewhat hiding in the aircraft before everyone leaves for the F.O.W.L. hideout.
Not gonna lie, that was a pretty smart plan by Webby. Considering they all look identical and Webby's good at imitation, she can actually get away with this pretty well. This I actually really like and I wouldn't change too much about this.
When Huey reveals himself to the three, Webby reveals herself to him but tells him to play along so they ain't fucked over. Somewhat worked. Webby keeps making little slips here and there which makes May hella suspicious of her. They land at the hideout, Webby tries to get what info she can while Huey's taken away. Thanks to the help of Pepper (who I love btw and I think deserves the best ;____;), Webby ends up finding the document room where there's documents on May, June, and a third person with the codename of April. She watches it and oh, shit, it turns out Bentina Beakley actually snatched her ass from F.O.W.L. when she was a baby! What a shocker! She couldn't believe what she was seeing!
This is actually fine to me, her possibly being a clone actually makes sense because she could've been a clone of Beakley. Plus it's also a huge reference to how Webby was created to be a combination of Daisy's nieces April, May, and June back in the original series, though I dunno how many people would catch that, especially younger fans who might not have done the research to getting all of the references and easter eggs here.
When Beakley was brought in (essentially she knocked Scrooge out without hurting him, went to here alone to take care of F.O.W.L. once and for all just for Webby, but got defeated along with some of the McDucks), everyone leaves Beakley, Webby, and the Harp alone and Webby somewhat confronts Beakley about her past. Needless to say, Webby ain't excited about this and she gets captured and tied up. She's actually pretty depressed, which I mean in a way I don't blame her since she wanted to know if that shit was real or if F.O.W.L. was fabricating it.
Cut to Huey being brought to Bradford. Apparently he was a fellow Woodchuck too, though he wasn't the best despite being the very first Woodchuck by his grandmother Isabella Finch, in fact he was the worst which hahaha yeah I can actually believe that. It does explain why he hates adventures and all of that shit, one of the only things I'm willing to accept from the finale. He talks about how he wants to complete the collection "for the better" because Scrooge and everyone else in the family were the only ones to have Isabella's lost journal. Huey believes this at first. He stops believing it once he ends up finding Gyro and everyone else who're locked up.
In the meantime, Bradford drags Webby out to a sort of box along with May and June. She doesn't know why she's brought up here. When she gets close to the box, the papyrus appears because... She's the descendant of... Of Scrooge McDuck. Okay no, JUST NAH MAN. This is where my biggest issue in the finale lies, the fact that she's a clone/made from Scrooge's DNA and is technically his "daughter". Not everybody has to be related to Scrooge McDuck to be great, in fact doing this to her actually ruins Webby's character. Her trope is "found family," not "I'm secretly part of the family this whole time and not even I knew it" and this fucks with it so badly.
This show is about family, and all different kinds of it. Being taken care of by your uncles/aunts instead of your parents but still having a good relationship, some kids don't have parents and they're gone for whatever reason, being loved and accepted by other family members, some families are awful and abusive, hell some families have two same sex/gendered parents with a kid who's def adopted and one might've been adopted or been from a previous relationship, and it's also how sometimes we find people to call family because we found them and they found us. Webby was the one to fill in the finding those to find family alongside her grandma, but I feel like they're disregarding that just to have a huge plot twist.
Again aside from Beakley keeping secrets from Webby, there was no foreshadowing and it makes a previous episode from season two (Nightmare on Killmotor Hill) seem kinda creepy in hindsight since she's over here wanting to be Scrooge himself, and creepy overall due to how obsessive she was over the whole McDuck family in general. You could say it's foreshadowing this whole time, since some people might actually be like this before realizing that "oh hey I'm actually related to this person" due to someone being adopted, given to someone else to take care of, divorce and each parent keeps one of the kids and they don't meet again until way later in life, which in a way is a fair point but at the same time not everyone's gonna notice this even when they look back at the previous episodes.
If you're gonna do foreshadowing and a plot twist, you have to do it where looking back everyone can notice little details, not just a certain group of people, and you gotta make sure it's good. Every plot twist has it's foreshadowings, and every good one has a good amount for people to take a guess. Every bad plot twist, however, is either forced in just to shock the viewers or has shitty foreshadowing that's either extremely little or none. I will make a comparison between this and Steven Universe (which if you're still watching or haven't touched yet but haven't gotten up to season five, please skip this part to avoid spoilers for the show) because in Steven Universe, there were PLENTY of hints and foreshadowing that Rose Quartz was actually Pink Diamond and it was even a theory too that Rose was actually Pink, alongside a theory that Pearl was actually the one to shatter Pink Diamond and not Rose which ended up being true in a way that both fits. This was a good plot twist that everyone can watch the show from start to end once again and notice every little bits of details that led up to that plot twist reveal. (End of SU spoilers)
This, however, isn't a good plot twist. It's a terrible one and, again, forced in, messy, and there's not enough foreshadowing that can be used to be like "oh I kinda saw that coming" or "oh shit!" and think it's a genuinely good twist. Also the fact that Webby called Scrooge "Dad" T W I C E in the finale, it doesn't sound right, I even voiced out loud that OH EW THAT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM DAD THIS IS GROSS STOP IT LIKE JUST CALL HIM UNCLE SCROOGE LIKE YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE- Oh and this is meant to be a throwback to that Ottoman Empire finale foreshadowing thing from earlier btw lol
The last few things I can note about this is the fight between Scrooge and Bradford, where the latter reveals that he was the one to tell Della about the Spear of Selene (which pisses Scrooge off so damn BADLY and it's the other thing I can accept from the finale, it seems like Bradford to do that shit), and the fact that Donald almost died for fucking good due to Bradford pushing his ass into a machine that can erase anything and everything from existence when put in there. He did so with his minions, so he has no qualms about doing so to Scrooge's family unless he signed the papyrus as a contract. Not that it worked anyways, since "family is the greatest adventure of all" which Bradford didn't understand one bit lol
But the finale? Not good, the show deserved so much better and Huey deserved way better because this was his season. What I would've done differently is mainly how Webby is a "clone" or whatever you want to call her. It makes no sense for all of her DNA to be from Scrooge McDuck, which raises way too many questions. Why not Beakley? Why not a warrior from F.O.W.L. with a mix of McDuck DNA? Why is Webby a girl while Scrooge isn't? You could argue that oh he might be a trans guy, which while I absolutely LOVE trans and nonbinary headcanons (due to the fact I'm a nonbinary woman myself), it just feels like a cheap escape goat of an excuse to explain that and Scrooge being trans because of that? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh it doesn't feel right to me. If it was a combination of him and Beakley, then okay I'd get why she's like that, but it still has the problem of her being related to the family DNA-wise. Same with the clones honestly.
Now what I would do differently is make it where she's a clone of someone (def not Scrooge) and make it where she has an identity-existential crisis. Who is she really? Is she this "April" character, or if she Webby like she's always known herself as her whole life? In the end, she accepts that she's herself, Webby Vanderquack, granddaughter of Bentina Beakley and an ally of Scrooge McDuck. May and June, on the other hand, are possibly failed attempts to recreate Webby, the perfect clone, in order to get the papyrus to appear which in of itself never stated it had to be a DIRECT heir to Scrooge McDuck (it just states that it requires an heir of Scrooge McDuck) like a daughter/son or whatever. You can go back to the episode "The First Adventure" to look at the papyrus if you want, but he wrote that it was to an HEIR not a descendant. It heavily supports how they changed a shit ton of things before the last season being this year instead of idk, try to make it better because they finished voicing the lines in January this year when they started doing season three around the time we got season two.
Bradford gets frustrated, wondering how it couldn't have worked because HE HAS WEBBY RIGHT HERE. What he didn't realize was that it could've been someone within the family itself, one who's considered the smart one out of the bunch that wasn't Scrooge McDuck himself, someone who's also a fellow Junior Woodchuck. And that would be Hubert Duck, in which season three is meant to be his season. When he gets close, the papyrus appears but Bradford snatches it and runs off with it so he can finish up that contract he's spent FOREVER to make and force Scrooge to write his name there.
As with May and June, I dunno what I would do with them, but if I rewrite the finale at some point (which I would be doing now with my mom, who watched the finale with me because we tend to watch stuff a lot, but I can't at the moment because I have a list of stuff to make and I can't afford to make it longer than it already is along with my WIP list) I'll figure out what to do with them.
Overall, the finale is a 4 out of 10 for me. Not horrible enough for it to be the worst finale ever in the history of shows/series, but it's definitely got a lot of things that bothered me too much to genuinely enjoy it without getting stuck on something for too long. Again if you like it, good for you, but personally? It should've been much better and the series deserves a proper finale. If there's no surprise movie to make it better, then I'ma just pretend this finale doesn't exist like nah bye bitch dunno you lmao
Besides with how messy this finale is, I hope you guys enjoyed reading my thoughts on it and I hope you guys have a great day
#DuckTales 2017#DuckTales Reboot#Spoilers on the finale/The Last Adventure#Lil's Talks#Idk I just thought about it again and I'm just not that happy with it lol#Just put a lot of love and care into everything you work on guys#I'm up for discussion to see why you guys like it#just don't be a dick in the comments and reblogs please#That's all I ask for
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The City of the Dead
Some A truckload of highlights of the last EDA I’ve read (The City of the Dead).
I took these screens while reading, along with my reactions. As usual, this is full of spoilers.
Okay, so, just imagine. In a parallel universe, one day, Clive Barker decided to write a Doctor Who story, and even if he tried to seriously tone down his usual mix of strange gore + weird sex + unusual magic, the result was still a bit too much for the series, but so good the BBC published it anyway.
Wouldn't that be great?
Now stop imagining, because it's a book written by Lloyd Rose, and it exists.
It's flawed. Of course. What book isn't? It sidelines Fitz and Anji near the end. Its twist could have used a bit of foreshadowing. It delights a bit too much in torturing Eight. But who cares, honestly. It still transported me in a world where there's real danger, and cute cats, and dark magic, and sugar donuts, and blood spells, and awful and weird and wonderful characters, and nightmares, and laughter. It's an experience, to say the least, and probably not for everybody, but my god, what a ride. 10/10
Okay, so, the only thing I know about this book is that I’ve got one friend who really likes it. And it’s by Lloyd Rose, aka the writer of Caerdroia. Will this book be weird too?
APPARENTLY YES. YES IT WILL. What a start.
Doctor, that’s called sleep paralysis. It might be scary, but nothing bad will actually happen to you, okay? Breathe.
Okay now I’m kind of nervous too.
[Unexpected Scherzo flashbacks]
That’s one of the most unnerving descriptions of Eight I’ve ever seen. Wonderful.
"I believe”
Oh don't start with the Earth Arc feelings...
RELATABLE
Museum of Magic? Take me there.
Art goals.
And the price for best out-of-context sentence goes to...
Excuse me, that's way too cool.
Also, it instantly made me think of which kind of bone I'd cut if I ever wanted to do this. Probably a toe.
So, magic is now a thing in this series. Hasn't been the case since The Scarlett Empress, I believe. Why do I get the feeling I'm gonna say 'that's way too cool' a lot over the course of this story?
I'm cackling
He really doesn't want to admit something's wrong.
Wait wait wait wait. What? The bone charm was in the TARDIS?
Doctor no.
Eight being distracted by donuts in the middle of a discussion about a murder, everybody!
A very nice beach
Hmmm cute? Cute.
The exact kind of offerings I'd like to get once I'm dead.
So, this story seems to be a murder mystery, and the goal is to find who the Magician is. I like it.
The Magician found Eight, then. Maybe he's the source of the nightmares?
Meanwhile, Eight tries to go to a goth party, and it's very awkward and relatable.
And Fitz and Anji are visiting New Orleans at night with a guy who pretends to be a magician, and Fitz keeps ruining his groove.
Swan, you're like a parody of a Mary Sue
GO UP
Meanwhile, Anji and Fitz both want to punch Dupre on the nose and I gotta say... me too.
Every conversation in this fandom ever
Guess that puts Dupre on the suspects list, then.
That sounds like the kind of ludicrously aggressive death electro thing I listen to when I need to use violent lines and colours in a drawing.
I guess we can also put Teddy-weird-artist-Acree on the list of suspects (even though his fear of going downstairs is a pretty good alibi). Also, bonus cat.
THIS CONVERSATION HAS ONLY JUST STARTED AND IT'S ALREADY GOLD
Eight's like "Hmmmm what makes people feel better, OH I KNOW. CATS. HERE. HAVE A CAT."
THIS IS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER BY THE MINUTE
(mid-liveblog update: I drew that scene before I even finished the book.)
He literally ran away haha.
Teddy Acree is cracking me up, seriously wtf
A perfectly reasonable suggestion, Doctor.
ASDFGHJFF He vaguely remembers the Daleks so he finds saltshakers 'sinister', I'm dead
UNREQUESTED 'THE TURING TEST' FEELINGS
SHIT, THAT HURTS
'What if I'm nuts?' 'I'm rather counting on it'
Interesting.
Eight already regrets starting a discussion with Dupre.
THE UNREQUESTED 'THE TURING TEST' FEELINGS ARE BACK WITH A VENGEANCE
Oh my f█cking god
♫ DO THE CREEP ♫
Aaaaaand I think we can also put Thales on the suspects list.
GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT
Eight, this is a bad idea.
I love how he's dodging Dupre every time that weirdo tries to touch him.
Also, that's a very relatable reaction.
Eight is like "okay no, I'm way too asexual for this"
THE DOCTOR HAD DECIDED IT WAS ABOUT TIME FOR HIM TO LEAVE
'Hadn't he'
Something was actually summoned??
Can you imagine going home in a corset with spikes because you were stuck in it? Lucky he was here, poor her.
Mood
BIG MOOD
Not exactly a revolutionary development, but interesting nonetheless.
Oooooh. His nightmares are actually trying to take him somewhere?
FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT IN THE BOOKS, EIGHT IS VERY CLAUSTROPHOBIC SO I'M PANICKING A LITTLE BIT TOO
SHIT HE FOUND SEVEN IN HIS LOCKED MEMORIES
He has no way of knowing that was a past version of him, has he?
Okay so the Magician isn't Dupre. Which... isn't very surprising.
‘AN IMP WITH TERRIBLE EYES’
Hey look it's the best meme from 2016
HARSHER IN HI̟͔͈̻͓̱ͅN͓͇͉̗̜D̤̼̻͙S̮̤̱͓I͓G͔͉̱͓̩̦̠H͕̲̯T͖̰͎
10/10 conversation
Thank you for clarifying, Doctor
HOLY SHIT
THIS IS SO COOL
I MEAN I HAD A FRIEND WHO WAS A TAROT NERD AS A KID, AND AAAAH LOOK, THAT'S ALL THE CLASSIC DOCTORS AS MAJOR ARCANA
Of course Seven is the Hanged Man OF COURSE EIGHT IS THE TOWER ASDFGFFH THE FIRST MEANING IS 'BRUTAL CHANGE, DISASTER AND IMPENDING DOOM'
Now I want to draw all these cards with the Doctors on them, haha.
I keep thinking about Twelve putting like ten spoons of sugar in his coffee.
This book is starting to break the record for the most "asexual Doctor" moments. And I’m 100% okay with that.
YOU DON'T SAY.
He also vaguely remembers Faction Paradox!
I love how patient Fitz can be with him when he's not well.
He's in the past now and trying to find the source of the problem. That may be interesting. Or it will just make everything more confusing.
And I think that child might be the Magician.
LOOK AT MY FAVORITE IDIOTS BEING HAPPY FOR ONCE
it won't last long
'Your blood smells funny'
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT she’s some sort of spirit what
UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE WEEK
I'd say 'somebody do something' but I'm sorry this is way too funny.
Probably.
Oh shit what the fuck. Is he planning to sacrifice him or something?
UH
UH
WHY DO I GET THE FEELING THIS SCENE WILL MAKE THE NUMBER OF LINES IN MY "EVERYTHING BAD HAPPENS TO THE EIGHTH DOCTOR" GOOGLE SHEET SKYROCKET
Eight might be the champion of gallows humor... but he's still starting to panic a little bit
The thing with the Doctor is, you know he can't die permanently since it would be the end of the series, but because he can't, they set the damage limit veeeery high, so a scene like this one is wayyy more stressful than it would be with a human main character.
Please be scared by the double heartbeat thing & let him go because I'm also starting to panic there.
THIS SCENE IS BOTH HORRIBLY STRESSFUL AND VERY FUNNY THIS IS CONFUSING
Meanwhile: what the f█ck is Fitz doing
Doctor please try to concentrate on a way to get the hell out of here
HE STILL HASN'T ESCAPED AND FITZ AND ANJI ARE WAY TOO FAR AWAY
UGH STOP MAKING ME LAUGH I'M TOO STRESSED FOR THAT
I SAID STOP IT
EIGHT STOP MAKING ME LAUGH THIS IS BAD
Meanwhile Fitz has decided to investigate a grave in the middle of the night, because why not, also I'm too stressed for that right now, go back to Eight
WHAT THE F█CK ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T GO DOWNSTAIRS WHAT THE F█CK
SHIT SHIT SHIT F█CK HE ACTUALLY DID IT F█CK
TEDDY YOU BASTARD
AQZSDFGHJGFFG F█CK
Meanwhile in the cemetery: I have a new suspect
Okay okay now back to Eight being sacrificed because holy shit
I was about to say 'if he could have done something, he would have done it sooner', but I just realised he expects the invocation to work, and call the thing which is chasing him in his nightmares.
Okay. Okay. That worked. Dupre's dead. Good. F█ck. That was so stressful. Also Eight is probably still bleeding all over the floor, but at least it's over.
TEDDY YOU LITTLE SHIT COME BACK & UNTIE HIM
ASDFGHJKHF
Was it really so difficult to tell the police someone was trying to sacrifice you for some bullshit ceremony? I'm sure they've seen worse.
HAHAHA THAT WHOLE HORRIBLE ORDEAL WAS WORTH IT JUST FOR THIS SCENE
Doctor, no
Asexual Doctor moment number 74612
Fair enough.
HE WAS STILL HIDING IN THE HOUSE
OH NO HAHA
GOOD. Thank you.
If the reveal is something like "hey it was the guy who died at the beginning" I'm gonna be angry.
I must admit no other character we saw so far is the right age to be the kid from the destroyed house. This is getting complicated.
SHIT. SHIT. I completely overlooked that. Good twist.
BAD TIMING BAD TIMING
Wait what the f█ck, if the Magician is attacking Eight right now, he can't be Thales. Who the hell is he, then.
WELL THIS IS NEW
And here we have Fitz trying to pretend he's interested in architecture.
Understandable after the recent events.
OUCH Were these feelings really necessary? I mean this book is intense enough as it is
Teddy is a little shit and at the same time it's impossible to 100% hate the guy, he's like a non-murderous version of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
He was too obviously weird to be the Magician anyway.
Yeah, we know, Teddy, we watch that show
This whole conversation is gold.
OH SHIT
PLEASE TELL US WHO IT IS, THE SUSPECTS LIST IS NOW VERY THIN.
Wait, it's gonna be someone who already died, isn't it.
Perfectly confusing sentence, thank you Doctor.
Okay so, it's 100% confirmed, it's not Teddy. Not a surprise, but good.
STILL TOO SOON AFTER 23 BOOKS
Are they getting sidelined for the finale? Not sure I like that.
I'm cackling again
WHO IS IT
WHAT
WHAT
HE'S NOT THE RIGHT AGE TO BE THE KID OR THE FATHER WHAT
WHAT THE F█CK HE WASN'T EVEN ON MY RADAR
WELL PLAYED
Oooooooh, he sacrificed his lifespan and so he looks older. Nice trick. Well played.
ALSO I JUST REALISED IT'S THE SAME TWIST THAT THE GAME 'HEAVY RAIN' PULLED AND I FINISHED IT ONLY A FEW MONTHS AGO I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING BUT NO
Ah yes, clearly there wasn't enough physical pain in this book already.
"You don't sound very certain”
This book is so weird, in the best way possible.
Woah the Magician's house nearly works like a TARDIS.
I just had a revelation. Of course I love this book. It's almost a Clive Barker book.
WE FINALLY KNOW WHAT THE TATTOO WAS
I love this f█cking book so much.
I also love Eight's reaction to that reveal.
OH SHIT WHAT
RUST IS USING HIM AS A WEAPON TO CONTINUE HIS VENGEANCE AND RETRIEVE THE AMULET I LOVE THIS
HOLY SHIT EIGHT
He's gonna leave him to... weird swamp creatures which are supposed to guard him while Rust is away, and I'm sure everything is gonna be fine RIGHT
'It's as if there were somebody else living in here with me'
I KNEW IT THAT WAS A BAD IDEA
WHAT THE F█CK did the swamp things trapped him in an imaginary world?
How long has he been there??
Everytime there's a good scene about the contents of the Doctor's pockets in these books, there's a better one in one of the next books, I swear. But I still doubt this one can be beaten.
That explains so much about the random cup of tea Twelve had in the middle of Skaro in The Witch's Familiar, too.
Third screen about the contents of the Doctor's pocket, because I'm still not tired of that.
Mrs Flood has access to this place. Is it an actual place then?
Asexual Doctor moment number 87454
Mrs Flood, NO.
Wait a second, is this place some sort of fairy realm? Is that why he refuses to eat anything here except what's in his own pockets?
Are... are you attempting to escape this realm by walking
Oooh isn't that the cover of the book?
Good point. Also I'm glad they're back in the plot.
I'M HOWLING
FITZ NO
AZSDFGHJ ANJI NO
OH SHIT SHE GUESSED WHO THE MAGICIAN WAS?! GOOD JOB ANJI
Friendly reminder: I love these two idiots.
FITZ TRYING TO PILOT THE TARDIS, EVERYBODY
THEY ACTUALLY SUCCEEDED
So it WAS some sort of fairy realm, woah.
WAIT WHAT
SECOND TWIST WHAT
RUST ISN'T THE KID EIGHT HAS SAVED?
THALES? IT'S THALES??
Wait wait wait, Teddy said Thales wasn't human either, didn't he?
Ooooh Thales is another Naiad!!
OH SHIT OH F█CK OH LORD
EIGHT, PLEASE NEVER DO THAT AGAIN
So he really was using the Void to track Eight, after all. The nightmares about Nothing chasing him were entirely justified and not a metaphor at all!
HOLY SHIT EIGHT NO BAD PLAN
The finale of this book is literally the concept of Nothing saving the day while Eight literally yells into the uncaring infinity of the Void. What can I even say about that.
He doesn't belong in the Void after all, so it can't really claim him. That should convince him he's not a complete monster, after all. Good. Good and nice ending.
Oh that's even better.
Good.
#Eighth Doctor Adventures#Eighth Doctor#Fitz Kreiner#Anji Kapoor#The City of the Dead#doctor who#edas#An EDA liveblog full of useless comments#long post#appallingly long post#language tw#caps lock#body horror tw#violence tw#gore tw#eye contact tw#sex mention tw#gif
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DuraOninininini! Chapter 1 (Durarara!! Fanfiction)
Summary: This is a haunted story. A haunted love story. It is a story where an attempt at "fun" quickly escalates into something truly morbid, unexpected, uncalculated for, and, above all, truly "undesirable" even for the one who seems to surround their self the most by such things. However, the difference here is that this is not just a twisted game of the mind. Instead, this truly is a "game of life".
Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!, nor Heta Oni or Higurashi, which is what this inspired by, along with the original game Ao Oni(which this is based off of).
Warnings: Blood, past repeated character deaths, timeloops, timetravel, demons, and angst, and things of the such.
NOTE: Shizuo and Izaya might seem out of character at first(like Shizuo may seem too violent, or Izaya might seem too trigger happy, but I do have plans! There are reasons and Shizuo will show his nicer side soon enough.
Also, I know there is already a DuraOni fanfiction but, (not to sound rude, I swear!) I was kind of disappointed with several aspects of it, most importantly the lack of consideration of the relationships of certain characters. So, with that said, I decided to write my own version(there will be some bonding between Shizuo and Izaya, but this version won't be Shizaya).
Anyway,...
...
xoXoXoXoXox
This is a haunted story
A haunted love story.
And, well, all stories must begin somewhere and because of something, and this particular one began as a result of some overheard rumors about a haunted mansion.
Most people have heard of such stories, where either an unsuspecting group of people or a group of people that come to challenge the rumors, and others for both reasons, come to the house and, being parts of a horror story begin to notice oddities usually rather sooner than later.
But there was something different about this one mansion in particular; there were rumors that if you could locate the mansion and obtain the 'diary' of the former owner, you could become immortal if you defeated the spirit, which was said to reside there, at its own "game".
Those rumors, in the long run, were what had first led to six specific people standing outside of that very mansion.
And those six people are all either famous, well known and respected, or mysterious figures throughout the cities of Ikebukuro, Shinjuku, and even just Tokyou in general. The names of these six enigmas were known to the majority of Ikebukuro as-
Kyouhei Kadota.
Shizuo Heiwajima.
Yuuhei Hanejima, which was actually named Kasuka Heiwajima.
Izaya Orihara.
Shinra Kishitani.
And lastly, a dullahan which was actually named Celty Sturluson.
From what everybody there seemed to understand, Shinra had heard some rumors about the mansion and, not taking it that serious, thought it would be the ideal vacation for him and Celty on her day off, but had invited several others, some of which still had yet to show up. Most of them assumed that Shinra had also invited Izaya, while Shizuo had apparently came along only because Kasuka had got caught up and got interested in it when Shinra had invited him as well, much to Shizuo's irritation.
As they stood outside of the house, however, only a few of them looked to be interested in the place at the slightest.
"Wow! Who knew? The place is really here, after all." Izaya chirped sarcastically. Shizuo irritably grumbled at that, but Kasuka just nodded, whispering, "calm down".
Celty, at an inhuman speed, typed a message in the PDA which Shinra had given to her as a gift; A PDA which she treasured more than anything, aside from Shinra, with everything she had.
[Shinra, I actually didn't believe you were telling the truth.] It said, before she began typing again.
[I had to see it for myself, because I thought this was just a rumor or a prank or something. But it's actually a real place, so you've earned a little bit of my trust.] Celty typed in her PDA and showed it to Shinra, who smiled like a giddy teen when he read it. He immediately tried to hug her.
"Is that so? Ah! That makes me so happy that you trust me a little more, Celty! But I would never lie to you about such a little thing! Although...when it comes to other things like keeping you by my side, I'd go to any lengths for you to stay with me. I'd even become a villia-UNgh!"
[Don't say such things like that so indiscreetly!] Celty cut him off, punching him in the stomach.
"Ouch! That's my honey Celty, but it really is the truth..."
"Seriously? Looks like it might be rotting on the inside. Oh, I'm gonna kill you several times over later for wasting our time like this, Shinra." Shizuo said as-a-matter-of-factly, seeming to especially catch the attention of both Izaya and Celty, while Shinra smiled a bit troubled, about to speak.
"Kasuka, let's go." Shizuo grumbled, turning around and walking towards the exit of the area. "I want to get away from both that fleabag and that idiot over there before I blow a fuse.”
Kasuka didn't budge.
"Aniki, I don't mind it if we were to stay a little while. I-" Kasuka started to say, when Izaya suddenly simpered.
"Hm..."
Shizuo stopped, looking over his shoulder to glare. "Got something to say, fleabag?..."
Izaya sighed, shrugging as he kept one eye nearly closed as if he were winking. "Who knows?~ Well, you see, I was just thinking that you and I are a little alike, Shizu-chan."
"What..."
"In fact," Izaya briefly glanced away, muttering, "I'd burn the memory of this to pieces if I could..."
"See," He then smirked, sighing, as he momentarily closed and reopened his eyes. To one who knew him well, despite his smile, it was obvious that he seemed to be exasperated about something. Before anybody could have said anything, he directly met the fake blonde's eyes again. "I also think that it is terribly annoying that I have to see Shizu-chan's face today. It's not like I wanted a "monster" like you or even your little brother to come along, either."
"...Guys..."
"...Izaya-kun."
"What is it?"
"Oi, you guys, knock it off..."
"...You just called my brother a monster, didn't you?"
"...H-heh?" Izaya scoffed, irritatedly amused.
"Are you deaf?" he laughed a bit. "No, I called you a monster, Shizu-chan, not Kasuka-kun, as I have nothing against him, or are you just wanting something to fight me over, hm? You would do that in front of brother dearest, wouldn't you, monster? Now that I think about it, it must have been hard for him, having you as a brother, right? After all, you influenced him so badly to the point that he can't even express himself with emotions. So, I don't think you have a right to talk, ne Shizuo-kun?"
"SHUT UP!"
Kadota immediately sighed, as soon as Shizuo tried to punch Izaya(who easily dodged) and was looking around for something to attack with.
"GUYS! Shizuo, Izaya!", The beany hat wearing man shouted, immediately catching their attention. Both Shizuo and Izaya stopped dead in their tracks, and even Celty seemed surprised to see Kadota raising his voice in such a way. Shinra just smiled, edging a bit closer towards her, with an almost downcast look in his eyes.
"Stop acting like babies. After all the trouble we went through to come here, let's go in for at least a few minutes. It's not like it could kill you, right? You too, Shizuo. Your brother wanted to come. Why ruin the opportunity for him?"
Izaya scoffed oddly, as if he could argue against that if he wanted to, but, otherwise, he stayed silent.
"...'che, You're right... Sorry..." Shizuo reluctantly growled. "but I'm only doing this because that fucking doctor involved Kasuka, and, more importantly, because Kasuka wants to. I'm not letting this stupid trip be all for nothing, got that, Shinra?!" Shizuo approached Shinra, catching Izaya's and Celty's sudden gaze.
As Shizuo said that, Izaya watched as Shinra only slightly edged back, smiling exactly like he always did.
So happy.
So content.
So perfect.
But too damn innocent...
"Sure thing, Shizuo-kun. I appologize from the bottom of my heart, for real. I really did think this would be fun, though." Shinra slightly edged back, as Shizuo glared at him, walking up to the door knocking, and then easily sliding it open, snapping aloud a "Hello?! If somebody's here, they had better speak up now!".
Kasuka quickly followed behind.
"...Aniki, try to calm down. This is one of the few times that my job allows me to spend with you..."
"I know. Sorry again..." Shizuo then muttered in realization.
"...You seem worked up. Are you okay?"
"I was just wanting you to be happy on your day off, so I don't want to be put into a situation where I loose control of my anger in front of you and screw up again..."
"But you're doing very well, Aniki, considering how much you hate Izaya-san..."
"You think I am? Thanks for your compliments, Kasuka..." Shizuo sighed a bit, before looking down somewhat.
"Well, anyway, I'm also getting some really shitty vibes from this place and I can't help but feel like that doctor and that shit bag is up to something here." he then said, in a quiet voice that only Kasuka could hear.
For a moment before Shizuo had walked into the house, Shinra's eyes seemed to have briefly met Izaya's, before the informant quickly turned away. He then smiled to himself in bravado yet with a huge amount of apparent bitterness as well.
Kadota couldn't guess who this mansion belonged to, but there must have somebody living there, right? Furthermore, if rumors of missing people and ghosts were surrounding it, there was a chance of there being at least a little truth to it, And he felt it was only right to get to the bottom of it in the case that there was something pretty dark going on here, after all.
Shinra and Celty entered the house behind Shizuo and Kasuka.
Meanwhile, Izaya slowly made his way in, checking his phone for something, and Kadota only briefly had the chance to take notice of a far off and somewhat darker expression sitting on the informant's face, before the other man's trademark smirk returned and he sped up to walk toward the house.
"Oi, hold up. Are you okay?"
"Oh, Dotachin~ I didn't see you there~ I'm fine, but I'm not sure why you would ask humble me that~"
"...You bastard, are you plotting something?"
"Huh? You make it sound like I'm always up to something~"
"Well, it's true that you may not always be behind things, but you always have a tendancy to at least slightly involve yourself in things when the possibility arises and use it for your own advantage. So I'm wondering what it is that you're here for. You were never the type of guy that would go to "haunted houses" for simple kicks, Izaya." Kadota expressed his thoughts without hesitation.
"Ah? You think so?" Izaya smirked.
"Well, you're right. You know me so well, ne Dotachin?"
Kadota scoffed his disagreement.
"Anyway, I'm here for several reasons," Izaya finally began to explain. "the main one naturally being to find out the truth behind the rumors of this place. I am an information dealer after all... Anyway, come on! It's not like there are any real ghosts in there, right?"
As he cheerily said that, he pulled Kyouhei alongside him toward the house.
"Hey, stop pulling me, and stop calling me that stupid nickname."
"Why? 'Kyouhei' is such a boring name compared to 'Dotachin'~"
"I don't care. It-" Kyouhei started to argue.
"suits you, Do~tachin." Izaya teased, cutting him off.
"...Shut up. You're beginning to sound like Karisawa now." Kyouhei told him with a sigh.
...
Inside the mansion.
It was a lot larger on the inside than they had expected at first sight. However, as apposed to the outside, the walls appeared to be made of concrete.
The front door, though, was an odd and thick metal slide door, and there was only one barred window on each side of the room they were standing in.
"This looks more like some kind of jail house than a mansion..." Kadota stated his opinion.
"..."
Nobody could disagree. It was a very unsettling design. Even the floor appeared to be made of cement.
"Ah, it seems rather clean in here, doesn’t it?" Izaya said, before glancing at Shizuo.
"...Or... at least cleaner than you would expect from a rotting building, am I right, Shizu-chan?" he smirked.
"You fleabag, are you trying to start something with me? Huh, Izaya-kunnn?!"
"Who knows? Am I? Either way, even if I wasn't, Shizu-chan would probably take it as a provocation anyway, wouldn't you?"
"...You know what? I made a promise to Kasuka, so 'm fucking ignoring you, to prevent blowing a fuse and breaking somebody's neck in front of him."
"Oh? But you'd do it indiscreetly if you were not in front of him? Alas, isn't that just as bad? Wouldn't that be considered being dishonest with your brother, Shizu-chan?"
"Shut up, flea."
"Aw, you know I'm right-"
"Leave me alone!"
Crash.
A nearby flower pot had just been thrown towards Izaya, who gave a smirk of satisfaction and easily dodged it.
The flower pot crashed into the wall and shattered, causing dirt, dead plants, and shattered glass to fall and scatter all over the floor.
"You see. That is how it should be, Shizu-chan. Isn't it so much funner to fight than to get along?"
"You piece of shit, you made me ruin somebody's plant and use violence! BASTARD!"
"SHUT UP!" Kadota finally shouted for the second time that day.
"Why should I?!" Shizuo exclaimed in irritation.
"Dotachin, protect me!" Izaya simpered playfully, moving over beside Kadota. "He's such an unreasonable monster."
"Izaya, are you trying to get Shinra, Shizuo's brother, Celty, and me all killed? Quit trying to antagonize Shizuo." Kadota glared.
“Tch..." Izaya looked away.
As Kasuka watched them, he suddenly found a PDA screen in front of his face. It said, [You seem neutral... How did you deal with this when growing up?]
Kasuka looked at the Black Rider and then back at Shizuo.
"I didn't..." he said softly, before she slightly jerked in a slightly fearful response.
He is Shizuo's brother, so could he possibly-
"Because of growing up with Aniki who was constantly over-expressive with his emotions, my mind locked away the expression of my emotions in a way and, over time, I lost the ability to even show my respective emotions as most people would be able to. Since they don't come out like they are suppose to, my emotions will build up until I explode. But, regardless... While I am expressionless and it may look like I am indifferent and emotionless..., I could actually be seething right now, and you would not know the difference..."
[I see... Sorry for asking. I hope I didn't sound rude or intrusive or anything like that!]
"No. You're fine." Kasuka lightly shook his head. "I actually happen to be quite used to it."
Right, he's a famous actor, and his brother is also pretty 'famous', too, after all. Of course people would ask and wonder about him...
Celty then turned her attention back to the two mortal enemies and rivals that her lover Shinra was somehow friends with.
To be honest, not that she would say anything, she was getting very strange, yet extremely haunting vibes from this house. Could there really be ghosts there? Could that possibly be affecting everybody's mood?
No, ghosts don't exist. This has to just be me... Though if there are aliens-
"'Che... Damn it! Can't we just leave this place already? It's really beginning to piss me off..."
"...Are you scared, Aniki...?"
"Scared? N-no, of course not, but I do feel like I'm suffocating in here. It seriously almost feels like there's-"
"Somebody or something watching us." Kadota finished Shizuo's sentence before he could finish it.
"I actually feel the same way." he then admitted, gazing off to the side.
"Ah, so shouldn't we just leave, then?" Izaya said.
"We-"
CRASH.
Their conversation was cut short by a loud sound coming from another room, obviously down a nearby hallway.
"What the hell was that?..." Kadota muttered, glancing in the direction of the sound, his eyes slightly wide.
"It sounded like something shattered. How scary!" Izaya chirped, much to the present annoyance of Shizuo, Kadota, and Celty.
"Ah, Celty, maybe there are ghosts or something here after all! You should stay beside me!" Shinra exclaimed in a way that was hard to decipher if it was a joke or not.
[Don't be ridiculous, Shinra! Ghosts don't exist. Anyway, I'm going to see what it was.] Celty told them, turning around to walk towards the room that the sound had came from.
"Ah, w-wait..." Shinra called, starting to reach out. "I want to come with you, Celty."
[No. You stay here with Shizuo and Izaya. You're the one that seems to understand those two the most.]
Shinra opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but decided against it, saying something else. It seemed like he understood a secret request she was asking of him. "Okay, Celty... If you say so. Be careful, alright...?"
Celty stopped for a moment, holding out her PDA.
[I know. I'll be right back.]
...
After Celty left the room, Shinra turned to face the others with a smile. However, Shinra was even better than Izaya at faking a smile, so whether it was real or fake could be up for question.
"So, isn't this kind of nice?..." he suddenly mumbled, with an odd nostalgic look on his face.
Izaya scoffed.
"If by 'nice' you mean spending time with Shizu-chan, whom I hate, then yeah, I guess you're right. Which reminds me, did you invite him on purpose to get back at me for something, Shinra?"
Shinra looked desperate. "I wouldn't do something like that, Izaya! I just want to do something with both of you guys like normal friends would."
"I'm not his friend. You know I hate Shizu-chan, Shinra." Izaya remarked bitterly.
"And I've told you before, Shinra, that you need to choose your friends wisely." Shizuo added his opinion.
"For once I have to agree with Shizu-chan." Izaya said slyly.
"But also, who invited Dotachin?"
"I-" Kadota started to speak when-
"AGHHHHH! What the hell?!" Shizuo shouted, stumbling back a bit, looking in unbeffiting terror at something behind the other men. Oddly, Izaya didn't even react to such a sight, however, just like everyone else, he did turn to look towards direction of the stairway.
Kasuka's eyes seemed to widen ever so slightly when he himself turned around to see a huge stark-naked creature stumbling towards them.
"What is that?!" Shinra exclaimed, backing up.
"I don't know, but you guys should run, I'll try to destract it!" Izaya suddenly told them.
"...W-why should I listen to you, you fucking flea?!" Shizuo retorted.
"And why the hell don' I just attack it head-on, instead? Hah, I got a lot of built-up stress I need to release anyway!" he smirked sickly, but suddenly, as the giant approached him, he got an overwhelming and hypnotizing sense of unexplainable fear when looking into it's black pits for eyes.
However, no sooner had it approached Shizuo, who had jumped back, than it advanced towards Shinra, who was the next closest and had just thrown a piece of broken glass at it.
"Over here!" Shinra encouraged, somehow not extremely phased.
However, before it could make contact to hit Shinra, the last thing unexpected happened.
"You’re an idiot, Shinra!" Izaya immediately shouted, pushing Shinra out of the way and towards Kadota without any apparent hesitance.
"I-Izaya?!"
The creature lifted its arm to attack Izaya, but the informant gave a huge dark and bitter smirk, bouncing a bit away back toward the stairways to dodge it. "That's right. I'm your opponent now. So catch me if you can."
His eyes appeared to be glazed over as if he was now intensely focused on one goal only, where nobody's words could possibly get through to him at this point.
In an instant, he turned around, running upstairs, the thing following close behind him. A terrifying voice roared out to him, echoing throughout the room, "YoU WoN't EScApE," sending chills down most everybody's spine.
"Bastard, Izaya!" Shizuo suddenly snapped. "Ugh! I bet that jackass is up to something! Ughh! Even so, Celty can take care of herself, so 'm g-getting the fuck out of here, damn it! Let's go, Kasuka!"
"A-Aniki..." Kasuka started to say something, but it was no use -
"What the hell?..."
Because Shizuo had already found out.
"Hey! Is something wrong with the door?" Kadota asked, approaching them.
It wouldn't unlock or open.
There was no present keyhole to begin with.
"If they think they can lock us up here, they're sorely mistaken! Those bastards don't know who they're dealing with! I'm freaking Shizuo Heiwajima!"
BANG.
Everybody seemed to flinch at the loud sound when Shizuo flung himself at the door and even tried several other tactics, using his hands and feet.
However-
"That's the first time your brute strength hasn't worked for you, ne, Shizuo-san? Guess they must've been prepared after all, hu-" Shinra, started to remark, smiling innocently.
"Do you want to die?!" Shizuo snapped at Shinra, irritated by him obviously and utterly ignoring the atmosphere.
"Sorry!" Shinra shakily smiled.
"I hate to say it, but he's right. We really don't have the time for jokes right now..." Kadota sighed.
"Right... Sorry about that."
"It seems there's another one that has come after us." Kasuka suddenly says, pointing toward a door across the room from the front door.
And sure enough, there was yet another giant - or possibly the same one.
They could hardly wonder if it had killed Izaya, or if Izaya was somehow behind this.
"I-I... shitshitshit!" Shizuo had no clue why he was trembling and felt so useless like that. If his enemy were an actual human being or remotely resembled a human being, he would have likely had no problem fighting them, but this was not a human by any means; it was a real monster. Something that had a very suffocating vibe about it. Just looking at it had forced him of all people into submission, and, without thinking, he turned and suddenly ran off, leaving everybody else to fend for themselves, without a single word other than some panicked and jumbled senseless curse words.
Moments later, before Kadota or Kasuka could say anything, Shinra too had ran off.
"Wait!" Kyouhei shouted after them, before cursing. Now it was just Kadota, Kasuka, and the quickly approaching creature left. Kasuka looked expressionless as always, but Kyouhei looked as if he could read some underlying thoughts.
Now it was just Kadota, Kasuka, and the quickly approaching creature left. Kasuka looked expressionless as always, but Kyouhei looked as if he could read some underlying mood.
"I’m sure Shizuo will be fine. You have any weapons on you?" Kadota asked.
Kasuka shook his head. "Unfortunately, none."
"Here." Kadota said, handing the young actor a large dagger. "Two otaku friends of mine gave me a whole bunch of stuff in my bag. Figured you could use something."
"Thank you. You must have some pretty supportive friends."
"...Yeah. They're really odd, and can hardly decipher fiction from reality but they're okay once you get to know them, I think..."
...
In a van.
"Achhoo!"
"Achoo!"
"Oooh, we both sneezed! Somebody must be talking about us somewhere, Yumacchi!"
...
A/N: Please tell me what you think, ne?... Too dramatic, wasn't it...? Sorry, I really wanna keep this as devergent as possible from the original while still keeping some base to it.
Even so, please tell me what you think! Onegaishimasu!
#izaya orihara#orihara izaya#shinra kishitani#kishitani shinra#celty sturluson#shizuo heiwajima#heiwajima shizuo#kyouhei kadota#kadota kyohei#kasuka heiwajima#heiwajima kasuka#erika karisawa#karisawa erika#walker yumasaki#yumasaki walker#durarara fanfiction#duraoni#duraoninininini#ao oni#dura oni#durarara x ao oni#izaya and Shinra#shinra and izaya#shincelty#shinra x celty#celty x shinra
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My First and Worst Year: Producing A Show
I get caught up in the gossip. Shitting on comedians that I barely know. I'm trying to stop that. Early on, I was one those guys that would say something negative because I was trying to start a dialogue and reinforce any negative feelings I had about someone. Usually based in nothing; maybe one lousy first impression or through the grapevine on Facebook. Unfortunately, talking shit is a major way to bond with other inexperienced comics. A lot of miserable, sarcastic, unmotivated, boring comics. Or 10+ year comics that bitch about how unfair everything is. They can't talk to you for 30 seconds without shitting on something.
Now I know that's not me. I never feel good about it and it never helps.
The comics I look up to are modest, rarely say anything bad about anyone because they're just focused. They don't feed the fire. I'd rant about something and they wouldn't have anything to add to it. Maybe something along the lines of,
"Yeah, that can happen," kind of response.
I'd see the look on their face. I'm the problem.
I was the same way in Junior High. Picking on the popular kids and being obnoxious because I was so desperate to be a part of their circle. Afraid to be myself. Afraid to put in that kind of work.
I'll be obsessed with some idiot for hours on a Facebook thread, so tempted to participate in the attack, but where is it going to get me? Fuck, I could've written something. I should be writing jokes now, but I think I know something about blogging and comedy! I feel like I'm just regurgitating boring opinions that have been voiced on hundreds of podcasts already, I'll try to pepper this section up! Check out this sweet ass pimp kitty vest!
I always want to prove myself to other comics. An audience of strangers is always amazing, but I do feel the pressure of an all-comic mic. It's way too important to me. I don't want to be written off, I know I can be funny. Maybe not the last 20 times you saw me, but I'll get there, don't write me off!
When I had a decent set in front of someone I respected, I felt like I could check that off. Okay, that person doesn't think I'm a piece of shit anymore. I proved myself. Getting closer to being an actual comic! Every good set is a stepping stone. My bad sets would just temporarily render me useless. Instead of doing my homework and adjusting, I would just write something new or beat a bad joke into the ground. Maybe it'll work the 27th time.
"The people that go to Burning Man only need these two words to communicate: Burning...man!"
*crickets slashing wrists*
I bombed in front of Sean Conroy and took it kind of hard. Intimidating dude, (like the Ron Perlman of improvisation) he was sitting in the front row at Echoes Under Sunset with his arms crossed, waiting for his set and just watching me hang myself. He'd probably seen a thousand variations of the heckler character I was doing. I picked on him in character, but he wouldn't roll with it. Why would he? It was more fun to watch me squirm.
Every time I asked him a question he would answer,
"Sure."
Which is sort of the "fuck you" version of "yes and," It's an improv thing.
I was berating the audience for being a bunch of hipsters. Yelling out,
"Well I got something for ALL OF YOU!"
Then I started handing out free coffee coupons from a local coffee shop. Sean politely declined.
I had my bombing routine where I would call up Claire afterwards and tell her I just ate shit. Or who I ate shit in front of. She would convince me that it was okay, everybody bombs, and remind me that I'd had good sets before. She would tell me that she loved me and make me feel better about what had happened. Oh, there is life after tomorrow, I forgot! Thanks, baby!
Claire understands the grind. She's a fan of a lot of the people I look up to and we listen to a lot of the same podcasts now. She got into Jen Kirkman and The Longshot Podcast early on and now she subscribes to more comedians than I do. We went to Power Violence and a number of shows at The Improv. Pete Holmes, Todd Glass, Ron Lynch, Eddie Pepitone, Maron, Sebastian, Ian Edwards, and Tig- we love Tig. She pushed me to go on the road. She encouraged me to stop using the train and take her car instead. She makes this all possible. It's unbelievable. She even made cookies when I produced my own show.
I'd done a couple of shows at The Lexington with Tony Bartolone where I did some character stuff. I played a wrestler, a heckler that takes on Mr. Goodnight and a squarish Steve Allen type talk show host. Anyway, the owner liked me enough and said if I ever wanted to use the space, hit him up.
Tony was nice enough to help me too, he ran sound for me. Uggh, I didn't even give him a fucking spot and he ran sound for me- that's how great a guy he is and how SELFISH I can be.
I think the best thing in comedy after doing standup is booking your own show. Reaching for the stars, pulling in friends, what a great position to be in! Compiling a fantasy list of mostly male comics and shooting them a message on Facebook.
So if you're a new comic wondering, how the hell do I get booked on a show?
Well, a moron like me could accidentally see you at an open mic and then end up liking you! And I'm the guy who did a shitty set before you, remember? You never know who could be running shows.
Most people got back to me pretty quick. Comedians love a full calendar.
I adored The Walsh Brothers. So original and twisted. They blew my mind at TigerLily and I finally met the guys through a mutual friend.
Brian Scolaro was someone I had talked to outside of The Comedy Store. He's one of the first comics to give me any kind of advice,
"Don't move To Long Beach."
I was a fanboy of Dean Delray. I heard Matty Goldberg on Danny Lobell's podcast and dug his book about his friendship with Angelo Bowers. Ron Babcock was one of the friendly guys on the scene, loved his standup. I'd worked on a webseries with Paul Danke. Just met a lot of the other comics at open mics. I worked with Jeanne Whitney at Arclight Hollywood and we started standup around the same time. I watched Timika Hall do her first set at Echoes Under Sunset and she was great! Ester Steinberg cracked me up at The Palace and then I wanted to book her after I saw this sketch. She just happened to be hanging out with Neel Nanda when I was booking him, so I got both of them right then and there.
Robert Vertrees was brand new like me, but I just dug his story.
I knew I'd never have to worry about Ken Garr.
Just read his awesome blog entry "One Year Later and Why I Should Quit"
I should've taken note and made my blog shorter! That dude is a complete professional and will never hesitate to give you his tour dates at the MGM in Las Vegas.
Jak Knight was edgy and exciting. Jon Durnell was the best thing about a bringer show I did at the Formosa. I didn't even know Lisa Landry, but Brian asked if she could be on. Same thing with Kevin James Moore, a buddy of Matty's.
Maagic Collins is one of the kindest souls I've ever met. I love his standup. He would show up to my afternoon Tribal mic on Saturdays. Very supportive guy.
I think I saw Rick Wood at Power Violence and he just blew me away.
Anyway, you get the fucking point, this was just an excuse to drop everyone's links. Jesus Christ.
One time I made the amateur mistake of messaging too many people at once and then having to tell one comic I'd put them on the next show. I got a lot of grief for that and I was pulling my hair out. I was getting a guilt trip from the disappointed comic and now I didn't want to book him at all. It was totally my fault, but I was just getting through the learning curve. Book carefully, and wait for your damn responses.
Another recurring thing that kept coming up is a comic wanting to bring a friend for a guest spot. It's a good rule of thumb to keep a spot open for a possible drop-in. Or just book less comics Marty. Aren't you glad you paid $200 for this helpful comedy workshop tip?
I was also planning on doing all these wacky sketches and transitions that had nothing to do with the stand-up comedy. I wanted to make it an event. I asked Chris Walsh if we could have an extended dialogue where the Walsh Brothers get in an argument with me and then pretend to shoot me from the audience...so now I'm suddenly on the level of The Walsh Brothers! Proposing bits. Chris was really nice about it and declined in the best way possible. He made me realize that I should only work on the hosting- not all this extra dressing. I'd be stressed out enough. Plus, The Walsh Brothers have their own thing going on and it's hilarious.
Claire helped me with some basic PR stuff; shooting out emails to various websites with LA calendars of events. Lot of people check online for free entertainment. I hit up LA Weekly early enough to get this delightful blip:
Did I pay anyone? I paid Dean Delray. I paid Brian Scolaro. It seems a little unfair now, I had The Walsh Brothers, Ron Babcock, Paul Danke, and Matty Goldberg, who all have a shitload of experience.
I got this dumb idea that I should write thank you notes to everyone else. Looking back, I gave comedians false hope of money in those envelopes, only to find a badly scrawled "thank you" with some shitty stick figure doodles. At least there were cookies at the gig.
Brian mentioned the 50 bucks onstage and I was really embarrassed. It exposed the inner-workings of my inexperience and that I was holding out on everyone else. I think I would do it differently now, but it was a free show.
Tony watched me have a mini-meltdown. I was stressing out because there was a band that was booked on a show immediately after and it was clear that I was going to run over their time. I thought if I gave up my own set and kept bringing the next comic up, we'd finish on time without cutting anyone's sets down.
Tony explained to me that I shouldn't of worried about that, that it was worse to bring the comics up cold. It's better to keep the audience warmed up, but I was hopping back on stage saying,
"Give it up for Ron Babcock, and now let's keep it moving- Matty Goldberg!"
I didn't get it. I thought running over my time would fuck things up and I'd never get to do a show again. I shouldn't of booked so many comics anyway- Paul Danke was going on dead last, and he'd been waiting around so long, I felt horrible. I should buy his album.
So don't sacrifice your time for the sake of the next show- be a good host, Wurst.
But that first show had a great turnout, especially for The Lexington. The comics were kind of impressed. That extra leg work paid off.
I remember I wanted to bring Dean Delray up to a Led Zeppelin song and I kept bothering Tony about it when the order changed. Then when the music came up, Dean was clearly stoked and that little moment meant a lot to me.
On his way out he yelled,
"Congratulations on your 1st year of stand up!"
Speaking of which, I asked Melina Paez if I could be in her "DropTheSoapTV" series, where comics do stand-up in her shower. It was a fun way to cap off my first year.
Okay, that was rather manic. Just a couple steps away from Denis Leary- uggh. Anyway, I STOPPED doing that. Here's a message to myself as I time-travel back to the shower,
Horrible jokes, asshole! Your taint is hilarious by the way.
I just want to thank the people that encouraged me or gave me useful information when I started bumbling my way through open mics that first year (July 2013-2014)
Brett Gilbert, Ric Rosario, Matty Goldberg, Tony Bartolone, Jason Van Glass, Ron Babcock, Dean Delray, Chris Walsh, Matt Walsh, Danny Lobell, Mollie Gross, Melina Paez, Brian Scolaro, Jamie Flam, Jeremiah Watkins, Mike Celestino, Justin Alexio, Neel Nanda, Mikey de Lara, Paul Danke, Ari Mannis, Lydia Robinson, Ryan Doolittle, Maagic Collins, Don Barris, Elissa Rosenthal, Rob Antus, K-von, Jarrett and Emily Galante, Christiane Georgi, Hiro Matsunaga, Greg James, Carly Craig, Matthew Hilton, Sally Mullins, Matt Sauter, Matt Gamarra, Donald McKinney, Ryan Kain, Jeremy Fultz, Del Weston, Derick Armijo, Alisha Morine, Nicole Malina, Devon Schwartz, Andy Salamone, Barbara Gray, Sean Conroy, Myles Weber, Ricky Winston, Frankie Ma, Rishi Arya, Brandon Birckz, Sean K., Mike Menendez, Jamar Neighbors, Mr. Goodnight, Erica Rhodes, Matt Champagne, David Gerhardt, The Martin Duprass, John Silver, Ryan Pfeiffer, Kevin Anderson, Whitney Melton, Kym Kral, Jared Levin, Kenneth Lion, Alex Croll, Adam Carr, Trevor James, Deon Williams, Amber Brashear, Pat Regan, Brad Silnutzer, Rob Weissman, Marty, Graham Curan, Eddie Pepitone, Quincy Johnson, Blythe Metz, Willie Dynamite, Freddy Morales, Marcela Perdomo, Nick Kaufman, Atelston Fitgerald Holder The 1st, Bruce Boiman, Tom Allen, Melissa Villasenor, Maria Bamford, Todd Glass, Lou Perez, Allison Anders, Jeremy Bassett, Tony Alfieri, Laura Niles, Tamoy Sherman, Chaliss Robinson, Eddie Whitehead Jr, Brent Weinbach, Jill Maragos, Jodi Miller, Luz Pazos, Brianna Murphy, Sasha Kapustina, Alain Villenueve, Brad James, Lauren Kiang, Yoav, Ken Garr, David Gregorian, Jordan Leer, Stefano Della Pietra, Down Under Comedy Club, Mike Garrison, Brad and Sara Harris, Thomas Hussey, Harold, Chino, Tiffany Gomes, Simon Gibson, Joe Wagner, Scott Luhrs, Jay Weingarten, Joe Kardon, Pedro Salinas, Willie Dynamite, Robert Vertrees, Amber Kenny, Karah Britton, Alison Tafel, David Hill, Andy Kosec, Micah Lile, Chris Putro, Kris Rubio, Jade Thom, Brodie Reed, Ryan Talmo, Kevin Lee, Kellie Ann, Jeanne Whitney, Jake Kroeger, Nikki Riordan, Tim Mars, Christian Chavez, Jake Adams, Louise Hung, Michael Donato, my Geffen peeps, all my Arclight friends, Stella friends, childhood friends and family that came out to support.
Or if you're just generally nice to me thanks. You gave me the strength to go out and bomb one more time.
Shout out to Mike Celestino's great documentary "That's Not Funny".
and finally To Claire:
For every time I called you up to moan out my discontent, only to be dissuaded from my stubborn misery because of your constant light, love, and gentle reasoning.
For those open mics you'll never be able to unsee.
I love you more than open mic comedians love pussy jokes.
And as you know, that's a hell of a lot.
#standupcomedy#myfirstandworstyear#Marty Wurst#martywurst#standupcomedyblog#thelexington#echoesundersunset#tonybartolone#jamieflam#brianscolaro#jondurnell#jakknight#estersteinberg#rickwood#deandelray#timikahall#jeannewhitney#mattygoldberg#neelnanda#kengarr#maagiccollins#thewurstcomedyshow#thewurstcomedy#firstyearcomedian#lisalandry#thewalshbrothers
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Episode 1: “There’s a 50 year old playing this game.” - Zack (Part 2)
*shocker* Nehe blew it. Big.
Good news? We got Seamus to join us + I think there's a very tentative plan in motion right now....Seamus told Nehe that Zack and Amir are close so if me/him/Nehe and Dustin vote together we have instant majority and we can boot Zack like I have been wanting to....
But of course, I can't trust Seamus yet as he is yet to tell this info directly to me - just to Nehe. I'll work on that...
But for now I'll let Nehe do the scheming for the both of us so that if it backfires, the bullet hits him harder than me. =)
Stevie is now on our tribe, as we have lost immunity. I'm selling him on the idea of "Ali is the guy here we all look to for guidance" so that he wants Ali gone. I've been gunning for Ali while having an alliance with him since day one. Gotta cut throats before throats cut you.
This is so uglyyy omg. Voting Sherry was a huge mistake, however, we had no idea what the vote would entail. It could have been voting someone to redemption island for all we know. Sherry had to complete a series of puzzles, and they're some of the worst puzzles I've ever seen. Stevie and Seamus are fucking freaks. Then this twist comes and they have to vote at our tribal too. And freaking Stevie chooses my tribe
I hate Stevie and my relationship with him isn't very good. I prefer Seamus because I think he would have my back. I don't feel safe, but I have Ali and Bodhi. Dom might help me, but he hasn't really talked to me since the first day. Sherry and I don't talk to, and she is super busy. My concerns are that Sherry might have something for doing the challenge, and Stevie might try to stir the pot. Kill me, Tommy help me out god. I have no idea why Eddie hates me, he's trying to rig against me. This cast is meh no wonder I'm on it.
Btw, I came to a realization that I should consider not dating, liking, crushing, or doing anything with another guy they are disgusting and fakes and ugly. I'm so done with them.
Me: let me be more social!
also me: doesn't talk to people on my tribe
Okay I made a decision. I'm gonna stick to my guns. I am not letting nehe or crow leave and im not compromising. I know I've been in denial but it's time to face the facts. My tribe is going to tribal. I'm going to make sure nehe doesn't go. I think he'll 100% be a loyal ally. He so sweet and I like him and I have a feeling he's not gonna hit it off with a lot of people.
Second, I truly truly hope crow doesn't go. I love him as a person he's literally my husband but like, I'm not gonna throw my game away for him. If he's the one going then he's the one going. I need to make sure me and nehe are safe over him because I can control nehe more than I can control crow. If crow does go, then me and nehe are enough to force a tie if we go to tribal again.
Third, is zack. Zack and I have a long history and I've known him for 2 years. Taking him out isn't bad for my game but I genuinely would be so bad because I love him as a person so I really really don't want to.
Fourth is Dustin, nice kid, pretty hot lowkey, but he can go. I really do like him as a person but uhhhgg
Zack just confirmed he's with Dustin. ZAXK WANTS ME HIM AND DUSTIN TO ALIGN. I WASNT MEANT FOR THIS FUCKING GAME. THIS IS Not what I want. I think crow is gonna be the one to go. I am SO sad. I DONT WVEN KNOW IF I TRUST ZACK OR DUSTIN. WHAT IF IM BEING PLAYED? I WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM. How am I suppose to talk to dustin when he never fuckin replies? Maybe I should just vote myself out and be lucky. If I'm with Zack/Dustin I'm at the bottom cuz they're close. If I'm with nehe and crow I'm at the top cuz they're both close to me. I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to keep my fucking mouth shut and wait for zack and Dustin to campaign to nehe and wait to see what crow wants to do. I need to like be patient and wait. That's what I need to do
We are more than halfway through round one and I am loving this game!! When it started and I saw the cast reveal i almost immediately quit because i saw Jaiden and Sid and i needed to GO, but then they weren't on my tribe so it was fine. I really like my tribe! Me and Tommy have always gotten along, although we don't have much playing experience together. Cole and I have a weird relationship in games that I don't fully understand but this time around I am liking it. I like Abel, and Matt is a cool dude. i really like that all of us searched for the idol because otherwise I probably wouldn't have searched and missed the potential opportunity. In terms of the other people in the cast, I LOVE LIANA!!!! One of my faves, so happy she is here! Seamus I get along with well, and surprisingly I have been talking to Bodhi a decent amount. My biggest fear is in this game I don't know how more than half of these people are as players. I know about less than half of the cast and Id on't like that. gonna have to snoop around and ask how these bitches played in their past games.
So walking into this game - I feel pretty decent about the cast. I know certain people for good reasons and some for bad reasons. When I look at the people I see Dustin & Cole, of which as all played BBHell together and on separate occasions flirted with each other. This was my first game from a year ago. I had to unblock Dustin from a year ago. Yikes.
People are recognizing me from India. "India", "robbed of Switzerland" whatever blah blah blah. Considering I don't play tumblr to often I kinda just like to do me so I play a bit medicore I guess. But they all know me so w/e.
My tribe is pretty decent. I'm happy. As a tribe we haven't talked but one on one my strongest relations are in this tribe. Sherry is one of my bffs
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Oh my, I'm so scared about this game. At least Stevie won the immunity challenge but I feel like I'm missing out on so much gameplay. I feel like there is a alliance(s) that I'm not in. What should I do, I've generally scared. I think people like me personally, but I could be wrong like always. I'm really trying to lay low in this game and I'm hoping people will forget about me for the most part the game. I don't know if I should start a majority alliance in my tribe OR I should get 2 people from each tribe and form a 8 person alliance where we all work together to get rid of people that isn't in the alliance, the nice thing about two tribes losing two members tomorrow is that this alliance could totally happen. The only thing is that this plan would completely backfire on me because I would be playing too hard to fast. I'm so conflicted, if my tribe does up going to tribal, I'm probably going to vote out Matt because I know him the least (I've said this like 7 times jeez). I'm going to try and be lovable in this game and have people think I'm easily manipulated and doing their will so they won't target me. Oh man, this game makes me paranoid.
So pretty much whats going to (hopefully) happen is that Nehe will be hitting the road after taking 4 hours of his life on those puzzles. Yes he didnt quit. But still he was 3 hours behind even placing 2nd. For us to be down to a tribe of 4 its going to rely on comp scores so he has to go. ive talked alot to crow, amir ,and zack and we all seem to get along. however i am suspicious of amir and zacks previous relationship. Hopefully we can all vote together today and send Nehe packing.Oh my, I'm so scared about this game. At least Stevie won the immunity challenge but I feel like I'm missing out on so much gameplay. I feel like there is a alliance(s) that I'm not in. What should I do, I've generally scared. I think people like me personally, but I could be wrong like always. I'm really trying to lay low in this game and I'm hoping people will forget about me for the most part the game. I don't know if I should start a majority alliance in my tribe OR I should get 2 people from each tribe and form a 8 person alliance where we all work together to get rid of people that isn't in the alliance, the nice thing about two tribes losing two members tomorrow is that this alliance could totally happen. The only thing is that this plan would completely backfire on me because I would be playing too hard to fast. I'm so conflicted, if my tribe does up going to tribal, I'm probably going to vote out Matt because I know him the least (I've said this like 7 times jeez). I'm going to try and be lovable in this game and have people think I'm easily manipulated and doing their will so they won't target me. Oh man, this game makes me paranoid.
welp. i'm going to mother fucking tribal.
my plan? seamus told me nehe and crow said my name.. so nehe and crow can CHOKE. i wanna make an alliance with dustin and amir and vote nehe out hehe. honestly. can all these people choke so i can win. like just give me the win.
This is so ugly. I love Ali so much. Me and Ali have an alliance with Bodhi, but Bodhi does not trust Ali. Sherry is obviously trying to save herself, and why the hell is it catching on? Dom's dumbass is barely here, Stevie shouldn't even be a part of this tribe this twist is rigged. But Bodhi? Like hell man why do you think Sherry is going to be more loyal to us than Ali? We voted for Sherry! Unless he's saying he didn't vote or didn't actually vote. Like Sherry and Stevie i undersrand voting for Ali, but Bodhi? What the hell? We're in an alliance with him do you really think he's going to flip onus now? So stupid these people are so stupid.
Nehe and I are talking, and he's one of the few people in the game I think is absolutely telling me the truth. I want him on my side when a swap hits. Right now my trust is in Amir, Abel, Dom, Sherry, and Nehe. I've got moderate amounts of trust with Crow, Mearl, Tommy, Stevie, Rob, Ali (but im killing him tonight), Seamus, and several other people. I am feeling GOOD about this game if I can make it past this tribal.
I talked to everybody that's originally on my tribe and the vote is split between Sherry and Ali. Bodhi is such a snake. I went on call with Dom who I loved a lot the first night and he told me that Bodhi exposed our alliance to him for no reason. Dom isn't even close to Bodhi. Bodhi is obviously trying to control the vote and doing what is right for him. Fake I knew i never liked him. I do want to work with Dom and Eddie's Breadies is definitely not a thing anymore.
[12:35:25 PM] Bodhi: Who are you working with on your tribe>
[12:35:34 PM] Nehe Mehe: lol can you keep a secret?
[12:35:52 PM] Bodhi: absolutely
[12:35:55 PM] Nehe Mehe: at the moment all of them cause they all wanna work with me
[12:35:56 PM] Bodhi: there's no one i'd tell
then i went and told Amir.
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1 hour later:
I'm hella nervous tribal council is coming up in three hours but everything should be fine. Amir settled on voting out Zack and Seamus is all good and so is Crow and I dont know where Dustin is at but yeah he better vote Zack out too. I gotta watch how I play out in the Live tribal portion but I feel like I have a chance to stay but I can tragically still get blindsided.
[2:41 PM] Ali TAnveer: We need you You're the fun person in the tribe
[2:41:31 PM] Bodhi: I wanted tribal at 5 :'(
[2:41:40 PM] Ali TAnveer: I was. Tribal now
[2:41:46 PM] Ali TAnveer: Or 5 :(
[2:42:48 PM] Bodhi: 5 is just better
[2:44:08 PM] Ali TAnveer: It is [2:44:15 PM] Ali TAnveer: I might be out tonight
Ali has no idea how right he is. He means that he wont be around for tribal, but he won't be around after tribal either.
15 minutes later:
OOPS hahahaha fuck. Ok so Rob wants me to flip on the plan to take out Ali, and he's made good arguments. I'm gonna keep Ali around and do Sherry instead. Sherry is less active, and has more friends. Ali is a more visable target. There goes my big flip plan!
Ugh okay so this is #4 on day 4. So basically since i won my tribe was safe. Then we got to deal with 2 twists. First is do we want to keep, throw away, or give someone and idol clue. Of course i keep it bc why would I want someone else to have it? Plus i can just lie and give others a fake clue. The second is that I joined the red tribe and go to tribal with them but im immune... So i get to vote and im p sure imma vote zack, even though i think i can work with him, i need switzerland and great lakes people to leave. I cant risk having their former relationships come into play and bite me in the butt. SO tonight it will either be Nehe or Zack but I'm voting Nehe! Wish me luck!
Okay y'all I'm packing my bags. Fuck! This! Twist! FUCK THIS CAST! I HATE. Fuck seamus. Next time I'm on a tribe with him he's getting lit tf up. It's round one and he made up lies about me already and it's really sad because he really doesn't know who he's fucking with. Bitch boy just ruined his own game If I survive this tribal I'm going to end him. I am going to Fucking END SEAMUS. He looks like the mom from suite life of zack and cody. He's like telling nehe that me and zack are best friends and basically pinning the target on us and telling nehe that I talked to him the least when I literally have talked with Seamus everyday. Like is he inbred? I was starting to really like him but he truly fucked himself over now. I don't rest until his basic white gay ass goes.
The info I know:
1. Make nehe 100% on board with me again.
2. Nehe wants to vote zack or Dustin but he doesn't want to vote crow.
3. Zack wants to convince nehe to vote Dustin instead of him but he still wants to vote nehe out.
4. Seamus wants either zack or I out
Info I need:
1. Is dustin still 100% on the vote nehe out train?
2. Crow told me and Dustin he wants to vote nehe but told nehe he wants to do zack or Dustin but preferably Dustin. What tf does crow want?
Nehe knows too much. Crow isn't gonna go, no one wants him out. I got nehe protecting me right now. What I need to know is If crow is really with nehe and he genuinely wants to vote out zack or Dustin.
As much as I love nehe, Crow has sunk his social game claws into him already. He's the middle man between zack/Dustin and me/crow. If I'm able to survive this round and get through this I can for sure make the target next week to be Dustin or crow. Nehe is STILLLLL telling people that me and zack are a final 2.
I FUCKING HATE THIS CAST. Dustin keeps me sane. I'm glad I have him. How did he go from my least fav on the tribe to my absolute fav?
[7/6/17, 3:52:25 PM] Amir: On 7/6/17, at 3:51 PM, Nehe Mehe wrote: > you are way nicer than i would’ve guessed Amir
Okay I feel fucking bad but like he literally went and told the whole tribe that me and zach are a final 2. Im scared but tbh my skin has been clear for a long ass time and I got a pimple today and this game is to blame. If I get voted out I might become sane again.
Ah what a lovely event tribal council is! I thought I would be in trouble but I'm actually likable I think??? Wow I'm shooketh.
So after Nehe's blunder at the comp and Zack's inept social game, it put them both on the chopping block. I would love to just chop both but I have to choose apparently....Nehe has Seamus on his side and Zack has Amir on his side leaving Dustin and I, the dream team of distrust, as the swing votes. (But there's a lot of lies in between so it might not be that clear)
And although I'm closer to Nehe, him going reaps more benefits as I gain trust with Dustin, Zack, and Amir and cut the only person who would be my enemy moving into this tribe swap....
So I'm throwing my first knife at Nehe and I think it's going to pierce his heart. Whoops! #AnyoneButMe right?
#ChaosCrow or #CutthroatCrow ? I bet bitches didn't see me cutting so early but this is my second chance and I'm ready to draw blood.
SO! Guess who's ready for another summer of stress, sadness and seventh place? It's ya boy, Sid! With Magyi's tribal in 15 minutes, this confessional MAY be a little overdue, but I'm here to break down days one through four for you.
Sagu is a beautiful tribe for beautiful people. At least, that's what I thought. Now, I've realized that I'm kinda pissed off that I'm not with my Twister Sister Sherry, or my number one: Amir. Y'all put me on a tribe with Jaiden, whose reputation precedes him, Luke, who I haven't talk to in days, and Seamus, who is probably the worst liar I've met. Seriously, someone let him win a game? I trust Liana the most right now, but even that is like a 7/10.
I vibed with Seamus at first, but as soon as I approached him about working together, he really showed his cards with his tone. I don't trust him at all, and, after hearing about his antics on Magyi (thanks to this loser twist), I trust him even less. As SOON as I get the chance, he's gone. I have a metaphorical place on my wall for his metaphorical head. WE'RE GOING TROPHY HUNTING, BOYS. That being said, I'm in an "alliance" (more of a trust cluster) with him and Liana.
I really feel like I'm keeping a level head, and I'm trying to play less antsy. That, however, isn't going to keep me from making big moves. One World sucks, but at least I can talk to Amir. He's honestly my number one, and I'd never betray him. I love Sherry too, and I can't wait to reunite with her again. I'm going to go watch Magyi's tribal now, but I'm so excited to play Cutthroat Island!!! It's going to be a doozie.
Idk what's happening this tribal, maybe bodhi is not with us? He aint replying maybe they are against me and rob, these people are crazy and I just wanna stay, I give my heart and souls to this game.
Hello! I'm back for a third time now to attempt a second win! I'm really nervous to start the season but also super excited to have gotten another chance at the win. It's weird being one of two winners in this season. The feeling is just weird and unexplainable. I believe this season is going to be super messy and people will be all over the place, I just hope to at least make merge and jury and from there get to the end. My tribe is really good we have a lot of people who made it far and I genuinely like all of them. Since this is a one word season I wanna make a few connections with the people on other tribes to so I'm safe for a swap or something. I feel like I'm paranoid 24/7 this season compared to my other two seasons where I felt I always tried to make a safety net for myself... this season there is no way I can make a safety net yet because I don't trust many if any people. As for my tribe I feel like I wouldn't be the first boot just because of my first impressions I think, however you can never know. For right now before swaps or anything I wanna be seen as a coattail rider and start from the bottom up and work my way into a good position so people will not target me right away and work on relationships with people.
I'm so happy Stevie won the challenge because that means I made Final 18! I'm so happy I didn't get the first two boots I honestly would have actually cried A LOT. I'm even more nervous now that there is less people because one step closer to the end and it'll only get more cutthroat from here on out.
I went on call with Dom who revealed Bodhi is shady. Dom said that he would like people to be straightforward with him. I agree, so i decided to tell Ali everything. Ali knows what is happening because i do really like him and he deserves to know. I told Bodhi that voting Ali is stupid and he believed me. Sherry is going to flip because she knows she's on the chopping block. So flipping Bodhi should flip Dom too. The vote should be Sherry, but she said she has the idol. I don't know if I believe it, but it should be Ali then? Fucl Stevie btw. If this vote goes to plan I'll scream I might have done that.
I had 7 calls back to back to back.
JAIDEN I hated Jaiden from before this game, but after talking to him he seems quite alright and I'd love to work with him this time around. I actually really like jaiden which is a huge suprise.
ROB Rob just needed some reassuring. I reassured his ass.
ALI Ali needed reassuring as well. I did the exact same to him
STEVIE I needed to fill Stevie in on the vote so he didn't get mad when it was Sherry
ABEL We talked about the game for a bit, nothing spesific but we got along great ALI Abel hung up on me and Ali wanted me to call again. We said almost nothing and I think he's happy.
ABEL Oh my god. This was the most important call of the game. We were giggling about our dislike of Luke together, and we're going to go FAR. I love Abel and I want to go to the end with him.
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