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tessandscottforever18 · 3 years

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Sept 12

Fresh off the UK release of Amazon Studios’ reimagined 'Cinderella', pop icon Camila Cabello talks to Nick Levine about her starring role in the film and her next chapter.

Camila Cabello is in a very good place right now. The utterly joyous video for “Don’t Go Yet”, the lead single from her forthcoming album Familia, shows her dancing around a dinner table surrounded by family, friends and RuPaul’s Drag Race star Valentina. An eyepopping colour palette definitely complements the song: a bright and buoyant Latin bop banger that hits like musical serotonin. In the comments beneath the YouTube video, the singer has added a sweet message: “Hope you guys love this and that it inspires many wine drunk kitchen dance parties for you and your familia.”

The video may be a visual feast, but it’s no fantasy. Cabello says it reflects a recent healing period during which she focused on “collective joy and community and really growing the seeds of my relationships”. The casual dinner parties she threw with partner Shawn Mendes became a nourishing ritual as she stepped off the pop star treadmill for the first time in nearly a decade. This breather was long overdue given that Cabello’s career has maintained an upward trajectory ever since she entered the US version of The X Factor in 2012. Though she auditioned as a solo artist, she ended up landing a record deal as a member of Fifth Harmony, a girl group formed One Direction-style on the show. Four years later, she went solo and cemented her A-list status with “Havana”, one of the bestselling digital songs of all time. She now has more than a dozen platinum singles to her name, including 2016’s collaboration with Machine Gun Kelly, “Bad Things”, and 2019’s “South of the Border” with Ed Sheeran and Cardi B.

Still, Cabello’s pace of life slowed down last year for one reason only: the pandemic. “It’s been an absolutely traumatic thing that’s happened to the world,” she says today, speaking on the phone shortly before she records Spanish overdubs for her movie debut in a feminist reimagining of Cinderella. “But in terms of my mental health, before that particular moment, I was really approaching… ” The 24-year-old pauses, then corrects herself. “I mean, I don’t think I was even approaching, I think I was burned out. And I feel like that necessary forced pause [caused by the pandemic] just allowed me to look at my life differently. It allowed me to recalibrate what makes me happy and what is important to me. I feel like it saved me in a lot of ways.”

Cabello has spoken candidly in the past about her struggles with anxiety, which in turn led to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Today, she likens managing this anxiety to a “constant ebb and flow”, which is made easier by her new therapist, but says the pandemic let her rethink her attitude towards work. “I’m fortunate enough to choose what I say yes and no to,” she explains. “That’s what’s really important to me this time around. If it’s affecting my mental health in a negative way, I’ll say no and do it another way.”

“I feel like the public and the media could almost have become a third person in our relationship.”

A project she’s clearly fully invested in is Cinderella, a new film version of the familiar fairy tale, directed by Pitch Perfect’s Kay Cannon. Cabello stars as the title character opposite Broadway legend Idina Menzel as her non-wicked stepmother and Pose actor Billy Porter as her fairy godparent. According to Cabello, these reimagined characters are just two of the film’s progressive elements. “Those classic fairy tales were all written by men. That’s why the story [of Cinderella] is that of a woman who’s saved by a prince,” Cabello says. “But in our version, which is written and directed by a woman, she’s saved herself and is trying to build her own life. It’s a much more empowering version of the story.”

In fact, Cabello’s Cinderella story has “no evil people in it at all”, because it places the focus firmly on the heroine’s self-actualisation. “Cinderella’s dream is to live an independent life at a time when women aren’t allowed to have careers,” she explains. “So she’s seeing something that’s wrong in the world and not waiting for someone else to correct it for her – she’s doing it herself. I think that’s a really necessary, positive update.”

Cabello has also been using her formidable social media presence – 54.5 million followers on Instagram, 11.9 million on TikTok – to spread some very necessary positivity. After being papped on a run in mid-July wearing “a top that shows my belly”, Cabello told her TikTok followers she thought “Damn!” before remembering that “being at war with your body is so last season”. Today, she says she experiences much less body insecurity since sharing this post. “I felt like I was not alone in feeling that or alone in my frustration,” she says. “And so next time there are pictures of me where my belly is out, there’s gonna be a community of women who have heard me talk about the way that makes me feel and who support me. And that is honestly so liberating.”

She has even used TikTok to break down a human rights issue that is close to her heart. In July, Cabello shared a well-received video explaining that recent protests in Cuba aren’t “about lack of Covid resources and medicine”, but are really “the latest layer in a 62-year-old story of a communist regime and a dictatorship”. She says speaking out in this way was a matter of moral obligation for her. “You know, I’m Cuban and I still have family on the island,” she says – Cabello was born in Havana, then moved to Miami with her parents when she was six. “And so much of what I do is Cuban culture. I mean, ‘Havana’ is one of my most successful songs so far,” she adds. “So when I’m in the United States, showing the beautiful part of Cuban culture, I feel like I also have to be there for the hard part, for the people there who are struggling.”

“If it’s affecting my mental health in a negative way, I’ll say no and do it another way.”

“Havana”, a sultry and infectious celebration of the Cuban capital, was so huge that it could easily have overshadowed her debut album. But thankfully, 2018’s Camila was a cool and cohesive affair that also spawned the brilliant angsty banger “Never Be the Same”. Then in 2019 Cabello launched her second album, Romance, with “Señorita”, a massively successful duet with Mendes that has now racked up 1.9 billion Spotify streams. When Cabello and Mendes confirmed they were dating shortly after its release, they became gossip-site staples – something they remain today – and were accused of faking the relationship for publicity. The impact of this negative coverage on their mental health was barely even mentioned.

Still, more than two years later, Cabello says she and Mendes have managed to maintain their privacy. “I feel like the public and the media could almost have become a third person in our relationship,” she says. “But that’s not been a thing for us because Shawn and I don’t even look at social media like that. Even though we know it’s there, it’s almost like it doesn’t exist for us. And that’s why we don’t live in LA. We live in Miami or Toronto, where there’s less paparazzi and that kind of attention is less of a thing.”

Looking ahead, Cabello says she’s excited for fans to hear Familia, which she feels has greater “intimacy” than her previous albums because she worked so closely with core collaborators Scott Harris, Ricky Reed and Mike Sabath. Because she trusted them implicitly, Cabello says she was able to “freestyle” during recording sessions and really pour her heart out. “You know, there’s one song [I’ve recorded for the album] where I’m talking about my mental health and anxiety without [specifically] saying it’s about anxiety,” she says. “But it’s about what anxiety looks and feels like for me in my body and in my mind. And that wasn’t something I came into the room intending to write about. Ricky just showed me a piece of music he had and it all came out of me.”

Cabello says this “stream of consciousness” songwriting style “never would have happened” when she was recording Camila and Romance because, for her, there was still too much “tension” in the room. But this time around, she felt comfortable enough to be truly vulnerable. In this respect, Cabello draws a comparison between her own creative evolution and that of Billie Eilish, who recently released her acclaimed second album, Happier Than Ever. “I saw this quote from Billie where she said, ‘I wasn’t scared, it wasn’t forced, there was no pressure, it was just really nice.’ And I feel the same way about this album’s process for me,” she says. The message is clear: in both her personal and professional lives, Camila Cabello is in a very good place.

#camila cabello #interview: hunger tv #hunger magazine #cinderella promo #cinderella #don’t go yet #familia #shawn mendes

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shelovescontrol91 · 3 years

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“If it’s affecting my mental health in a negative way, I’ll say no and do it another way.”

#camila cabello #shawn mendes #shawmila #cinderella #familia

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fmdtaeyong · 3 years

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restructuring update prompts

a prologue to officially re-introducing ash kwon // aka i decided to re-do this because i changed some parts of ash’s backstory and established career claims after i did this the first time and half of this wasn’t really true anymore rip

also there’s nowhere for me to put this in the answers anymore so i’ll put it here: circles is ash’s best song

content warning: mentions of alcohol abuse and drug use / abuse, but none of it is in-depth

assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different?

for the most part, ash’s general personality and character has stayed the same. he’s the same angsty, creative, romantic dude at heart, but he’s a little more jaded in some ways.

ash moved around before he became a trainee now. he lived in san francisco, sydney, and seattle. when he lived in sydney, it was just him and his mom and he grew really close to her during that time. he doesn’t really feel like he has a home at all since seoul is the longest he’s ever lived somewhere, but he’s less happy so that’s not home either.

ash is a better technical singer now ig, being a main vocal. he focused more on singing as a trainee now instead of dancing. his ankle injury in 2018 was a little more serious now, which is why he doesn’t dance much in his solo music anymore. it’s also why he’s less interested in dance, but, at the same time, i think it leaves more potential for him to re-develop some love for it again.

he’s also now the maknae, although it’s a common joke in the fandom that he doesn’t act like it. he debuted a year and three months younger than before and he feels a lot more beholden to the industry now. has even less of an idea of what he’d be outside of it at this point, even though he got closer to actually leaving it than previous ash ever did.

he’s still had a couple of minor attitude controversies in titan’s early days caused by cultural differences. he was in public relationships in 2016 and 2019. neither were received well for their own reasons. his clubbing habit has gotten him into some controversy, though bc has never issued a statement on it beyond that one time they had to confirm the woman in a picture of him clubbing was his girlfriend because people were trying to accuse him of cheating. he has a passionate anti gallery and obsessive sasaengs that make his life a living hell.

since renewing his contract, ash has also had a few hiatuses of varying lengths due to his physical or mental health. this was true before with how he naturally developed, but it’s more tied together now as a result of generally poor physical and mental health he’s been experiencing for a few years now after his dating scandals and his ankle injury in 2018.

his image is more streamlined now too! he never really had the era of being pushed as a cleancut boyfriend that old ash had around 2018. he’s been marketed as a musical genius / sexy bad boy rockstar / artist with a tortured soul for as long as he’s been majorly pushed individually. this means he’s still very sexualized, but he hates his image a little less because he can be a little more himself as far as personal style and self-expression through tattoos and piercings goes.

what does your muse think of their company and their group?

this hasn’t really changed. ash has no real love for bc entertainment and wouldn’t really care if titan disbanded tomorrow. some of their music is good and some isn’t (though he considers less of it terrible without wolf and gorilla in the mix lmao), but he feels he’s mostly outgrown it as an artist. not that it’s below him, but it’s not what he connects with creatively, which is far more important to him now than it had been when he’d first debuted. he doesn’t hold ill will toward his groupmates unless he feels they’ve given him an individual reason to, and actually feels more guilty toward them for getting involved in scandals and taking hiatuses more than anything, but they’re also not his best friends. he views titan as a purely work endeavor and he doesn’t feel bad about the fact he got about as close as possible to leaving them without actually doing so that he could back during contract renewals. after all, they’d be fine without him. he’s a main vocal, but they’ve got two others. he’s a dancer, but they’ve got two others. he can write music, but titan has never been his main priority there and others are more than capable of doing it. he wants out of both the group and the company but is starkly aware of the fact that he did this to himself when he re-signed out of what he now perceives to have been impulse and greed.

since titan is the seniormost active group under bc, ash tries to be a good senior to his company juniors in general, but there are certainly more welcoming alternatives than him. he worries about them from a distance more than anything else.

is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract?

he’s on his second contract and he definitely regrets renewing. he hadn’t planned to renew for the longest time the lack of privacy and the public criticism and the hate he’d received were just too much, and he had plans that would require him to stop being an active idol, namely marrying his girlfriend of two and a half years at the time. their relationship wasn’t stable enough at the time for that to be a good idea and that was proven when they broke up shortly before final negotiations for contract renewals, but ash wanted an excuse to escape and the idea of a happy, normal life more than he wanted to be rational.

spite after the (very brief lmao) break up was part of his decision to renew, but bc entertainment also offered to support him as a songwriter and producer in addition to allowing him to regularly release solo music. he still really loved music and his first taste of promoting as a solo artist had been right before renewals as a proposal to sway him into re-signing, so he was swayed to sign on for seven more years. they followed through on their promises, but he struggles to weigh the recognition he’s earned as a solo artist and songwriter-producer against signing his life away again and doing a number on his physicla and mental health. most of his health issues and his hiatuses have happened during his second contract, as well as several behind-the-scenes situations that could have become scandals if they’d had any less luck, mostly stemming from ash drinking too much and his occasional recreational drug use, so he’s not sure bc even really feels the contract renewal was entirely worth it.

what are your muse’s goals and motivations?

if you asked ash this, he wouldn’t know what to answer. he doesn’t feel very motivated these days and pretty much feels like he only does anything because he’s contractually obligated to. making music as a form of expression has long been his main drive, and beyond that, the desire to make a mark on the world he can be remembered by through his music, but he often oscillates now between feeling like there’s not much more he can realistically achieve and the sense of hopelessness that he can try as hard as he wants, but his music’s never going to be what he’s defined by when he’s a public figure with an image.

he also feels a duty to make his parents proud. though i could argue that might be less now than it was in the previous iteration of ash, it’s still very much there. they let him come to seoul when he’d just turned thirteen to follow a dream that many never get to follow all the way through to the end and they believed in him fully. they express how proud they are of him when they do talk, but he doesn’t know that he believes them. he doesn’t feel that anything he’s done has been deserving of paying them back for everything they’ve given to him.

right now, he wants to be able to feel excited about his life and what he’s making again. he’s trying to better himself internally in regards to the way he views himself and his mental health, although he’s more prone to still taking steps backwards there than he was at this point previously. a lot of the ways ash has found to feel that excitement and creativity he wants (such as recreational drugs and excessive alcohol consumption and fleeting, sometimes toxic, relationships) do damage to his mental wellbeing, so it’s a balancing act at the moment.

what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future?

i covered this partially with the last one, but one major conflict remains his internal conflict about his passion for music. this was very much where ash was before as well, but now that i’m really pushing songwriting and producing as his main career path, it presents a more equal professional and personal challenge for him.

more than having truly lost joy in making music, he’s burnt out. his latest album lovesick was emotionally exhausting because it was a partially rushed, deeply personal and vulnerable album exclusively based on an unhealthy relationship that had stretched its hold on him out over for almost six years, and then he went into making music that he couldn’t relate to at all and didn’t really fit his image all because bc thought it would sell well.

the burn out in his personal life has affected the burn out in his professional life he would be feeling anyway and made it ten times worse. it feels more hopeless because he doesn’t have much else going for him. in the past few months, his relationship with alcohol and drugs also reverted back to unhealthy after he was doing better with it for a while, not helped by a really bad stint with his mental health. all of this was at its worse in june before he went on hiatus, and in this universe, his behavior was more of a factor in his hiatus than him practically begging to leave the group because ash is more resigned to the fact that he chose to sign back on with bc and that that’s on him. instead, there was more of a push by his manager, who knew that ash was on the road to a major scandal if action wasn’t taken.

almost all of his conflicts are internal right now. he’s become successful enough that external factors other than the large umbrella of having to remain in titan can be negotiated, but he’s too tired to do so because of everything going on inside of him. there’s a lot of negative feelings going on inside of him, and he’s trying to deal with them one by one, but it’s hard to see the weight of them easing that way.

if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why.

ash has been able to establish himself a little more as a songwriter and producer outside of his solo music. he wrote “universe” for titan in 2017, and after that, as promised, bc hooking him up with the right opportunities and connections to establish himself more. since then, in addition to his heavy involvement in his solo music (his 2020 album lovesick was entirely written/composed/produced by him alone), he’s worked on calypso’s “rollin’” in 2018, polaris’s “fake love” (a korean music awards song of the year!) and “the truth untold” in 2019, and lily’s “i’m so sick” this year. i’m planning on more being added there with these extra ecp and maybe some refunded since i think i’m going to drop some of his points claims to streamline his career better.

his canon discography creative claims reflect his progression as a songwriter, from very earnest and romantic to more sensual to very uhhh angsty and personal to developing a more polished and professional sound as he grew in experience as a songwriter and producer.

ash is praised for having several representative works as a songwriter that all speak to his individual style, and ash is happy with what he’s gotten to do since he does genuinely enjoy working as a songwriter and producer.

he’s planning to continue branching out in this direction, so look for quite a lot of ash dabbling in canon discographies in the future. before, i’d say ash’s primary push was solo music, but my plan for him is for songwriting and producing to be his main career path from now on with solo music as a close secondary.

#famedrstask1 #+10 ecp

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lep-the-local-fool · 6 years

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DBD College AU

Professors

Philip (Wraith): English

Lovable, quiet, and sweet. A lecture with him makes it very clear that he's sensitive and thoughtful, winning over his students quickly and accidentally, although he rarely speaks outside of lectures.

Emails from him are always cheery and heartwarming. As universally agreed among staff and his students, must be protected at all costs.

While Lisa, the Student Welfare Officer, often times steals him away for gabbing - he’s a wonderful listener, she will insist, though purely because he’s so quiet - Philip most enjoys the company of Max, whose mild ways mirror his own, and whose complementarity of interests make for lots of learning opportunities. For example, Max comes to Philip’s house to fix his appliances, and Philip sends Max poems about nature and calm things - only a few are his original works, but they amaze Max every time. Unknown to Philip, Max collects every poem he has ever received in photo album that sits on his desk - including one Philip jotted down on a napkin during a long flight.

Max (Hillbilly): Mechanical Engineering

A kind, simple man who knows everything there is to know about his subject, but not much else.

Max is quite insecure about his appearance and intelligence, as he used to be bullied incessantly as a child and never truly recovered, as his parents didn’t believe in the existence of mental health issues and told him only to ‘man up’. He enjoys Philip’s company immensely, because he knows such superficial things mean nothing to him.

Is terrified by his assistant, Amanda. It's a wonder he took her on as an assistant, but he says it's because she showed passion.

A very understanding and patient teacher. New students are typically intimidated by his appearance, but learn very quickly that he's devoted to helping them succeed in any way he can, staying behind after lectures sometimes for hours to answer questions, and answering students’ emails at every given opportunity.

Herman (Doctor): Medicine

The simultaneously terrifying and hilarious lead professor of medicine.

His lectures are enthusiastic, active, and interactive, frequently calling students to answer questions and take guesses. He advocates giving your best shot, even if it's wrong, for the sake of innovation and creative thinking. Even when he tells students that they’re incorrect, he never makes them feel stupid or unappreciated, always coming back around to why they had a good idea. Students either love him or hate him, there's no in between - it just depends on their ability and motivation to keep up with him.

Admin

Lisa (Hag): Student Welfare Officer

The chatty, gossipy student welfare officer. Her job is office-based, but she can typically be found frequenting the college's famous café, having coffee and chatting with anyone she knows – and anyone she doesn't.

She has a strong, vibrant presence that scares off more timid characters, but if you can stand being interrupted when she's excited or her enthusiastic attitude toward everything, you'll get along with her fantastically. She loves to help the students, and has had a particularly close relationship with Nea, who sees her for moral support and a good chat, as she has mild depression and doesn't want to see a therapist. Nea has come to see her like an aunt, and Lisa is very protective of her.

Evan (Trapper): Chancellor

Evan is typically a playful, relaxed guy, but he can be incredibly stern and distant when he needs to be, making him a petrifying sight to deviant students. Despite this, he's a level-headed and understanding boss, and cherishes the way his staff embrace their roles and get involved with the goings-on of the college.

Bill: Disciplinary Officer

A grumpy old man whose playful side only shows itself in spurts. He's an advocate of swift and harsh justice, and often has to be toned down by Evan, the Chancellor.

Ace: Social Secretary

A fun-loving man who absolutely adores his job, putting on all sorts of events for the students both in the college and in other venues, including club nights, dances, social gatherings, and – upon receiving an anonymous email recommending it – stay-in nights for the quieter students.

Like Lisa, the Student Welfare Officer, he can hardly be contained in his cubicle, constantly roaming the college and talking to students, gauging their attitudes and personalities so he can arrange the ideal social environment of the college accordingly. While some students are put off by his ultra-charismatic ways and his confident-bordering-on-cocky attitude, he's generally well-loved and massively appreciated.

Staff

Sally (Nurse): Nurse

A lovely sight, whether you're about to pass out or otherwise. Sally is incredibly sweet and gentle, and very practiced in medicine. It's not uncommon for students to go to the infirmary for the tiniest things just to be seen by Sally.

She brings tea and biscuits out to Ana, the security guard, when there are no patients. Ana appreciates her immensely, but is incapable of expressing gratitude past a simple, 'thank you'. But considering Ana rarely speaks as it is, Sally is delighted to get even this from her.

Herman was Sally's old professor, and they catch up all the time. Their personalities are incredibly polar, but they get along incredibly well – though Sally occasionally slaps Herman's wrist when his proposed practices ignore a little thing called 'ethics'.

Ana (Huntress): Security

An incredibly stoic, chiseled figure that can typically be found at the front gates of the college, unless a student has worked up the courage to ask her to unlock a door. Otherwise she may also be dragging a student out of a lecture theatre or kicking trespassers off the property. Once in a while, when a noise complaint isn't sorted out for days on end, she'll go pay the dorms a visit, terrifying the many students who have never seen her off her post.

Is quietly infatuated by Sally, the nurse, who keeps her company and gives her refreshments almost daily. Ana is unaware that Sally is very single and would happily go out with her, figuring that as a slightly barbaric security officer, she'd have no chance with the incredibly sweet and intelligent nurse. Regardless, Ana is still a proud keeper of her role, and wouldn't think to let their status difference affect her confidence.

Has a wordless, friendly relationship with Jake, who often sits by the gates of the college, eating or staring off into space. They occasionally make eye contact, nod, and continue their day.

Michael: Security

According to the students, Michael is in constant competition with Ana for most terrifying person to see on campus. The two of them rarely speak to each other, sometimes not even exchanging a glance when they swap shifts.

While his stern, unmoving face might insist he's not a push-over, he uses his status to grant his sister, Laurie, just about any of her ridiculous whims – short of actually breaking any rules.

An insider’s perspective sheds light on Michael’s constant efforts to be a good brother, though they are constantly trampled by his immutably cold demeanor and distorted mental state; Michael wouldn’t think to try and understand other people, and seems completely apathetic to the struggles others. Laurie has been the only exception to this, and only because Michael puts very active, conscious effort into protecting her. The idea of being able to achieve sympathy for any given person is an exhausting and pointless concept to him.

Tapp: Head of Security

While he's Head of Security and should thus be considered the most intimidating person to see walking down the halls, students find it honestly a bit hilarious that he's the one in charge of the beasts that are Ana and Michael; either one of them could probably take his arm off before breakfast.

He's an understanding guy in general, but takes the upkeep of rigid college policy very seriously. Despite this, he is, without a doubt, the most likely member of the security force to negotiate; most students would rather be dragged off by Tapp twenty times over than get a sideways glance from Michael. Tapp isn’t unaware of this, either, and despite his outranking of Ana and Michael, struggles not to feel inferior, often overcompensating with volatile aggression. Ana and Michael are completely unaware of his predicament, both considering him very much their superior.

Amanda (Pig): Mechanical Engineering Assistant

An impatient, hot-headed woman, incredibly intelligent and inventive, but terrible for helping students. No one knows really why she decided to become his assistant, considering how much of her duties involve helping him in teaching.

She terrifies her mentor, Max, although as a previous student of his, she respects him deeply and takes his word as gospel.

Students

Apartment groups:

Nea + Jake

Feng + Laurie + Claudette

Meg + Dwight

David + Quentin

Meg: English

A strong, fiery personality, constantly restless, and more than a little hot-headed. She's incredibly social and loves to be around people. She can make a group of strangers feel like age-old friends, and makes any social gathering about twenty times more interesting.

Is best friends with her flatmate, Dwight, and Nea, whom she met on her course.

Heard the English degree would be easy, and is really only attending the college because of her track scholarship. She's not a fan of English, but Nea helps her out all the time, and Meg is constantly amazed by Nea's prowess.

She appears incredibly confident, never afraid to ask questions, make phone calls, or talk to strangers when the need arises. She doesn't particularly care what people think of her. She sometimes slips into uncertainty, particularly when it comes to coursework or struggles with track, but Nea and Dwight are always there to bring her back to herself.

Sometimes emails Phillip, her English lecturer, with random questions just to read his friendly, endearing response. She'd never admit it, though.

Dwight: Mechanical Engineering

One of Meg's flatmates, was more or less picked up by her when he was too nervous to start making friends. He's slowly getting used to her unbridled energy when she gets excited – he used to be more than slightly terrified of her, so he’s made a lot of progress. He enjoys her enthusiasm and admires her proactive attitude.

Is also good friends with Nea, although the two of them don't end up talking very often; typically Meg is the one to ban the three of them together. Dwight wishes he had more to say to Nea, but nothing really comes to mind, other than their mutual friendship with Meg.

He's very intelligent, and an incredibly efficient worker, coping with stress better than perhaps anyone, despite his anxiety-ridden exterior. What confidence he lacks in his social skills, he makes up for in confidence in his work.

He finds Jake, who is on his course, incredibly fascinating and attractive, but he's also very intimidated by him, hardly able to get a word out when he's looking his way. Meg can always tell when Jake has so much as glanced at him, as he comes back to the flat still pink in the face, and he immediately begins gushing about it at the slightest prodding.

Jake: Mechanical Engineering

Doesn't talk about himself – or just much at all – but a little pressing from Laurie has revealed that he doesn't have a good relationship with his family. He didn't continue past that, but an insider's perspective shows that his parents haven't been great in the way of emotional support, and would much rather him be studying medicine or law. However, pursuing the degree he really wanted has been his first step out of his parents' grip, and as such, he cherishes every lecture.

He's a very solitary creature, doing everything on his own: his work, leisure, etc. Dwight sees him alone frequently and wants to walk over and talk to him, but doesn't know if he'd be bothering him. Jake, however, would be flattered by the company; he enjoys being alone to a large degree, but he's also slightly convinced that even if he did want to make friends, people wouldn't really want him around. He seems confident in himself, and in many ways he is, but he kicks himself for not being able to open up more.

He thinks Dwight is incredibly cute, not unaware of the way he flushes red when Jake gives him a smile, but is convinced not to talk to him because he also believes Dwight is terrified of him (and he's not wrong).

Nea: English

She says she takes English because she heard it would be easy, but she's secretly very passionate about it. She used to have a lot of problems making friends and keeping up a good relationship with her parents, who always saw her as strange and distant. As a result, she took up reading as a way of feeling at home.

Best friends with Meg, and very good friends with Dwight. Is roommates with Jake, but they rarely speak, both of them generally keeping to themselves. Nea is, however, acutely aware that Jake pays far more than she for the flat, and although curious, has never asked him where the money comes from.

She has a punk aesthetic, and seems to live up to it: she disappears frequently, and can typically be found skateboarding either at the skatepark or around town. But when she really seems to vanish, she's hanging out behind the Physics building, reading. She's afraid Meg has seen her here once – she looked up and to see her crossing the street just a little down the way. But Meg has never mentioned it, so maybe she she didn't recognize her.

Although they and Meg hang out all the time, Nea knows Dwight is still a bit apprehensive around her. She knows they don't have much to talk about, but Nea thinks he's a cute little twink, wishes he didn't feel so nervous all the time.

Spends a lunch every once in a while talking to Lisa, the Student Welfare Officer, as she struggles with some mild depression and needs space to vent. Lisa has gently recommended she see a therapist, but she refuses, saying that having Lisa just to listen is more than enough – though it's clear that she mostly just doesn't want her friends to find out when she's struggling, as well as denying there might actually be a problem. Her friends aren't in the dark, however. Dwight would ask but knows she wouldn't say, and even Meg, despite her rash, superficial tendencies, has seen the sullen look in Nea's eyes when things get bad.

Claudette: Medicine

A brilliant student and an even better friend, beloved by her professors and friends alike (Herman isn't apologetic about his favorites). Roommates with Laurie and Feng, next-door to Jake and Nea.

Although Jake and Nea are both quiet people, Claudette always says hello to both of them, and makes conversation whenever possible. Neither of them mind, both finding her a very pleasant person to have around, although both struggling to reciprocate her openness.

On some occasions, Claudette will seem to sense something is off with Nea, and the genuine concern in her eyes when she asks how she's doing has nearly convinced Nea to stop and talk to her properly. However, as acquaintances and nothing more, Nea tells herself not to get Claudette involved.

Often times overworks herself, foregoing her social life and sleep to study, and has to be brought down to earth once in a while by Feng and Laurie. Feng is good for talking about managing high expectations and health, and Laurie loves dragging her out when she obviously needs to take a step back from her work.

Spends all of her free time in Sally's office as her assistant. Sally enjoys having her around as a trainee, a helping hand, and as company.

Feng: Computer Science

Simultaneously cute, sassy, and hot-headed, Feng brings people in with a fiery, protective personality, keeps them interested with her intelligence and wit, but simultaneously pushes them away with her icy barriers. She finds it neigh-on impossible to really open up to people, Claudette being to only one to get her to talk about some of her deeper feelings, usually late at night after Claudette has been venting about stress, or Feng has just gotten off the phone with her imposing parents.

Although a lot of people would find her hobbies incredibly lame or nerdy, Feng is incredibly passionate about the things she chooses to care about, and doesn't stand for injustice of any kind, particularly in the case of her friends. She often has to remind Claudette that she doesn't need to live her life pleasing people.

As one of, if not the only, girl on her course, she gets a lot of unwanted attention from the guys in her lectures and around her building. Luckily, Feng is more than capable of taking care of herself, though she at one point nearly broke a man's arm when he wouldn't back off. However, Laurie has to remind her sometimes that there are security guards to take care of these things, because she doesn't want Feng to get into trouble over something that wasn't her fault; as much as they both hate it, Feng and Laurie agree it's easier to prove that a guy's arm is dislocated than it is to prove that she's been harassed. Laurie has told Feng that she should get Michael if anything is wrong, as he's frequently stationed right outside the Computer Science building, and Laurie has told him to keep a good eye on her.

Feng's parents have had incredibly high expectations of her for a long time, and this used to weigh on her heavily. Ever since she moved away from home, however, Feng seems undeterred by their pressure, simply choosing to hang up whenever they get toxic over the phone. When it comes to academic success, she seems more preoccupied by competing with herself than to compete with her peers, leading her to become both a high-achieving student and a reasonably well-balanced person – although she wishes she didn't have to turn against her parents, the people whom she knows love her most.

Laurie: Children's Nursing

Fiery and strong-spirited, but kind-hearted on nearly all occasions, Laurie is the ideal college friend. She's there until the bitter end, always available for moral support and motivational speeches.

She's great friends with just about everyone. She's one of the few people to occasionally jump into conversation with Jake or Nea, just because they looked like they could use the company. Jake is charmed by her initiative and passion, but is worn down quickly by her enthusiasm. Nea considers her a toned-down version of Meg.

As the sister of one of the scariest figures in the college, Laurie seems to have free reign of the place, always just a phone call away from getting someone dragged out of class or getting the keys into any building she fancies.

Although Laurie feels a bit like the queen of it all – she's got all the friends, the scary brother, her course is easy and interesting – she oftentimes feels like she's missing something. Dwight and Meg have each other; Quentin and David have each other; Claudette and Feng have each other – Laurie... well, she sort of has everyone, but she feels like she's missing that unique, intimate friendship that everyone else seems to find. She doesn't feel like there's anyone that she can tell everything to. If she only had one phone call before she was carted off to jail, she could call anyone, but there wouldn't be one incredibly obvious answer that completely outshines all of her other great friends. She thinks maybe she's spoiled or ridiculous for thinking these things, but she can't help the pang of jealousy when she hears Claudette and Feng having their heart-to-hearts for hours on end, knowing there's no one she feels she could open up to so purely.

Quentin: English

In every respect, a gentle spirit. He's quiet and compassionate, happiest when waist-deep in a good book.

He can be quite easily intimidated by others; his flatmate, David, used to really freak him out, but he's gotten to know him well over the months, and now considers him a close friend. David has actually helped him out a lot when Quentin has sunken in on himself, reminding him to live in the moment and find the joy and energy in everything around him. If he was being completely honest, he finds David incredibly kind and very attractive, and would very happily go out with him, but he's miserably aware that David is probably the most straight-seeming guy on the market.

Quentin finds himself sitting beside Meg and Nea during many lectures, and ends up exchanging ideas with Nea frequently. They have brilliant discussions, and he's asked her if she'd like to meet up sometime to talk further, but she always shrugs him off, suddenly very nonchalant about the literature, as if she hadn’t had that impassioned spark in her eyes just a moment prior. Quentin has a feeling that she's embarrassed to admit her interest in her own subject, but he's not sure why.

Since childhood, Quentin feels like he's come a long way in being able to interact with other people and make legitimate friendships. As such, he treasures every relationship he has, though he feels a long ways off from being as comfortable with who he is as he'd like. He's made progress, surely, but he still struggles with his self-esteem and confidence on a daily basis. Thankfully, David steps in to help him out all the time when Quentin is making ridiculous judgements on the basis of his insecurity. While David doesn't seem like the most perceptive or sensitive guy, Quentin knows that without his help and encouragement, he wouldn't be able to keep himself presentable for over a month. He just prays that he won't be quite so much of a mess by the time David inevitably leaves the college.

David: Criminology

David can be a bit perplexing at times; to strangers, he can be harsh and crude – he has said it was the only way to survive his hometown – but to those he actually knows, he's an incredibly kind, dependable person. When he makes a promise, it's never broken, and when his friend is in trouble, he will drop everything to help. Simultaneously, he's also rash and impulse-driven, following his heart above all else. Perhaps it's his rough edges and wild eyes and their vibrant contrast with his kind, earnest words that make him appear perhaps the most genuine person to walk the streets.

Similar to Meg, David really only came to college to play rugby, but found his course interesting and is enjoying his time here immensely. This is actually his second time being enrolled for the sake of just playing sports – the first time he was badly injured and ended up dropping out. This makes him two years older than Quentin and the other students.

David's course gives him some hell, and once in a while his confidence will take a real hit, but a quick pick-me-up from Quentin and he's back on his feet.

The first week of the academic year, Quentin got lost in the middle of town at night, his phone nearly dead. He called David, the only person in the city whose number he had, even though Quentin was terrified of him. Quentin sent him his location, and within twenty minutes of sitting in the cold, David came sprinting around the corner to find him, and walked him home. Ever since, David has felt strangely protective of Quentin, a feeling which baffles him immensely, but not one that he's ever denied.

#dbd #college au #what do you think?#no i didn't include freddy #dont @ me #wasn't sure about some of their majors

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tune-collective · 7 years

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Aimee Mann Finds 'Mental' Health Returning to a Quieter Solo Career

The singer-songwriter released her ninth studio album, ‘Mental Illness,’ on March 31.

Sometimes you finally have to gravitate back toward what Irving Berlin called “doin’ what comes natur’lly” — and in Aimee Mann’s case, what comes naturally is slower and somberer. “I gave myself permission to make a record that was everything I imagine people think I am… super depressing and bordering on mentally ill,” she says, referring to a new album that is titled, with tongue-in-cheek probity, Mental Illness.

For anyone attuned strictly to the contemporary hits world, the album — which dropped Friday (March 31) — may come off as the downer sardonically promised, but most Mann fans will have an ironically ebullient response to the drift toward an exquisite minimalism in her first album in five years. During her time away from the solo limelight, she worked with Ted Leo on the duo project The Both, which didn’t do anything to diminish the cult she had built — as evidenced by the number of shows already sold out on a spring tour that begins April 20 at Washington, D.C.’s Lincoln Theatre and wraps up May 13 at L.A.’s Theatre at Ace Hotel.

Talking with Billboard, Mann touched on why she has momentarily abandoned rocking out, where she and her producer fell on the Bread-versus-Nick-Drake divide, the varieties and definitions of mental illness, and whether Donald Trump counts when it comes to the titular subject.

Mental Illness marks a big a stylistic change-up from your last couple of projects, (2012’s) Charmer and (2014’s) The Both, which had a lot of power pop going on. This one is all about the mellow gold. Was there a conscious thought during the writing to make a pendulum swing back toward quieter sounds?

I just like the idea of having a record you can put on and have it, from beginning to end, deliver the same kind of lonely, melancholy, dark, wistful experience. I wanted to get away from bigger production. And with the Both record, that production was pretty stripped down — but it was a rock band, and I didn’t feel any real pull this time to try to write more up-tempo or rock songs.

After touring in smaller rock clubs as a trio and playing bass with The Both, I decided to write a record was the distillation of what I assumed people thought of me, if they thought that my songs were very down-tempo and very sad. But I really wanted to take it all the way stripped down, kind of like Leonard Cohen-type things, back in the real folk days — that was my initial goal. It definitely ended up more fleshed out than that, but that’s where I was trying to keep it. I think people might be ready for something super-sad and soft. But another part of it is like, why not? Because there’s a certain liberated feeling in the idea of knowing that nobody buys records anymore. If nobody buys records anymore, you can really do whatever you f—ing want!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxQg4VVNKGQ

Did you and (longtime producer) Paul Bryan talk a lot about touchstones?

We had a lot of conversations before we started about the sounds that we were trying to go for and sample records, without trying to imitate anybody. He was a big Nick Drake fan. People always tell me about Nick Drake, but I’m not personally that familiar. But acoustic with strings — that’s kind of his deal, right? I was also listening to a lot of really soft ‘70s rock, like Bread and Dan Fogelberg… you know, the finger-picky stuff. Going for as soft as we can get it was kind of the goal.

You recently released a Carpenters cover (“Yesterday Once More”), but no one is going to compare this album to the Carpenters too much.

No. And the Carpenters song was for [Martin Scorsese’s HBO] show Vinyl, and I think they were trying to just do a straight copy, to make it sound as much like the original as possible. That was a Joe Henry production.

You’ve mentioned Bread a number of times, but your writing sensibility is so different, no one is going to listen to the new album and think, “Oh, this is just so David Gates.”

I was listening to a lot of Bread, but more as a sonic reference, along with things like Loggins and Messina’s “Danny’s Song.” And we listened to some Bill Withers, “Ain’t No Sunshine.” My question was, how stripped down does a record have to be to retain the feeling of being stripped down, or can it have strings? Can it have bass? Can it have some percussion? Because I did want it to sound really bare. I was curious to go back to certain records and see really what kind of acoustic guitar sound they had: Was it strummed? Was it plucked? Mostly there was fingerpicking, which I’m not really that good at, so I had to get my friend Jonathan Coulton to do the fingerpicking stuff. So that was the brief: to see what acoustic guitar sounds went with other sounds to still make it sound really sparse.

More of the songs than not on this album have string arrangements, but they’re generally pretty subtle. Did you look to string arranger Paul Buckmaster’s work with Elton John back in the day for any inspiration?

We looked at Paul Buckmaster as a model for one specific song, the last song on the record, “Poor Judge.” Because I felt like that could be just piano and strings in that Madman Across the Water, “Levon” or “Tiny Dancer” (vein). This is my theory about his arranging: that he arranges strings like a horn section. They often take the melody in unison, and they’re very stabby and punchy, more horns than strings were arranged up to that point. So we looked to him for that song.

But Paul Bryan, who wrote all the arrangements, is more of a big Nick Drake fan, and I was actually just talking to him about it last night. He said another influence was this Brazilian artist, João Gilberto, who had this record (in 1976) called Amoroso. He said he liked the sound of the icy strings next to a warm voice. I was skeptical of the idea of strings on almost every song. It’s not as simple as my original concept for the album. But every arrangement was so different. On some, strings would just come in on the bridge, so it still retained the feeling of an acoustic or really stripped-down record. Some of the strings were more prominent, but I think from song to song, it varies enough so it keeps it interesting.

You haven’t shied away from giving people fair warning about the album’s downbeat qualities. But do you think fans experience it as depressing? Good songwriting always has a quality of exhilaration no matter what the tone or subject may be. And just as someone who’s feeling down may get some hope out of looking at a self-help book just because it puts a name on what they’re experiencing, you put a rhyme on people’s experience. That can feel uplifting even if the lyric captures a seemingly hopeless moment.

Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel. I read Facebook posts (about current events), and if someone has a real succinct sum-up of a horrible thing that’s going on, it’s uplifting, because it makes you feel less alone and that maybe together this is a problem that could be solved. Feeling isolated in your problems and your feelings is kind of the worst part of it. If you feel like somebody shares it and is also thinking about it and how to get out of it, to me, that’s an uplifting experience. I think people like to think somebody understands the more difficult things that they go through.

Just to ask a little about some of the imagery associated with the album. “Goose Snow Cone” was inspired by the cat of the title, and you used the actual Goose in the video, where she’s in some mortal jeopardy. And then on your album cover, you have this strange, chick-like creature seen through the thorny brambles of some dark woods. Is there some kind of theme going on with winsome creatures experiencing some kind of darkness?

I felt like that cover got at the psychological world of that subconscious stuff that’s all dark and murky, but there’s this creature, and it’s kind of a monster, but it’s also sort of cute and funny. That’s kind of the attitude I have about having issues and writing songs about your issues and writing songs about other people’s issues — that it is dark and difficult and it’s a little scary, but also, there’s an element of humor about it. You know, we’re all struggling with the same kinds of things, and there’s definitely an element of humor in recognizing one of your crazy things in other people, or vice versa.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhThS-PJOFE

Although there aren’t many happy songs on the album, you managed to deliver some cheer and light into the world with the “Goose Snow Cone” video, which of course is an actual cat video. She experiences a health crisis in the video and spends some time with the vet, but you didn’t actually kill the cat. I felt confident you wouldn’t.

My friends post a lot of pictures of their cat, Goose, on Instagram, and she’s got white fur, and she really looks like a snow cone ball. So I start writing this song, and it’s really more about being homesick and lonely than it is about the cute little kitty. It’s very dumb that I kept the name, but once I wrote the song, I was stuck with it. Her owners moved out here, so I put Goose in the video. Goose is a good cat. She’s very photogenic. She wasn’t really cooperative. I was amazed what they did with editing where they got shots later that made it look like she was cooperating.

You have some more famous faces in the video for “Patient Zero,” but the song itself has some different things going on, and seems to be about a young person coming to Hollywood and finding success elusive. “Patient Zero” is a quintessentially spooky L.A. song, with references to The Big Sleep and Day of the Locust and the enticingly out-of-reach lights of the city. You know a lot of people in the film business. Is it worse than the music business, as far as being a mass frustrater of dreams?

I suspect that the movie business is worse than the music business. At least in music, it is possible without a ton of money to make some kind of recording and put it out into the world in some way. You can’t really do that if you’re an actor — you’re at the mercy of bad scripts and bad directors, and the politics, whether it’s studio politics or other actors who dislike you. I wrote that song about… well, not really about, but inspired by Andrew Garfield, who I met at a party years ago. It was before Spider-Man, and he had just come to Los Angeles and it was clear he did not feel like he fit in. I just had a moment of feeling like “You know, I kind of worry about this guy!” Because I felt like he is a real artist and very sincere, and I think to be a real artist the way he is, you have to be a very vulnerable person. And I just worry about vulnerable people. It’s not necessarily just his town, but in the world of big business, whatever that business is. I mean, he obviously did fine. But I think being famous is very difficult. It’s a weird kind of trauma and I think it makes people crazy. If everybody around you is saying you’re amazing and all your choices are great, there are no touchstones.

The life of the super-famous has special requirements. It’s a very rare person who can withstand it. My guess is that (Garfield) tried to have a career that’s a little more artistic and not focused on franchises. But somehow I was inspired to write this story about someone who comes to Hollywood with the promise of being in this big movie, and he’s maneuvered out of it. To me it’s almost a bit of a happy ending, because it’s like, this was never the place for you anyway. It’s not the town for me. And that was influenced a little bit by Nathaniel West and the people who write about Los Angeles in this more noir category (about the city’s) creepy underbelly.

Did you ever feel that way about your own fame, even if it wasn’t on a Hollywood blockbuster anchor level?

With my brush-up with fame, when ‘Til Tuesday was popular for a minute, it was certainly weird, and I found it very off-putting, because I didn’t really like people looking at me. That made me feel uncomfortable. I think only a real narcissist enjoys constant attention. To me, constant attention feels vaguely threatening. People expect things out of you you’re not going to be able to deliver. I don’t like that state. I like low expectations. I think about this a lot, because even in my own situation, if I’m on tour, and if we’re going into the hotel and somebody offers to carry my suitcase or something, it’s like “Oh, they’re being really nice because they’re my friend.” You can’t pretend to yourself that you as a person are so wonderful that people just want to carry your bags all the time! It’s not like people carry my bags, but still.

On this album, you have some songs about compulsive liars or drunks — just generally unstable people — and their victims including “Lies of Summer.”

I wrote “Lies of Summer” about somebody who’s had a specific kind of crisis, and all their lies and craziness exposed. I think once you realize that somebody’s a pathological liar, then you kind of scroll back through all the encounters that have just been slightly off, and then you see those in a different light.

“Knock It Off” is kind of a tough-advice song in the vein of “Wise Up” (from Magnolia). You almost seem to be invoking a Lloyd Dobler sort of Say Anything moment when you sing “Oh baby, knock it off, you can’t just stand there on her front lawn,” except you’re taking all the romanticism out of it.

That’s what people think of as the sort of cinematic/romantic moment, where you’re standing on somebody’s lawn, hoisting the boom box over your head. But it’s crazy behavior! It’s not taking no for an answer, which is not a great trait in a relationship. In the story of this song, this person’s behavior has just been so egregious, but after all his lies were revealed, he can’t understand why his girlfriend broke up with him. Like, ‘Why would you not trust me? I’m not getting credit for the 99 times when I didn’t lie!’ To me that’s fascinating, because that really is sociopath thinking. It’s always a fresh new day, and (the sociopath) is weirdly present, but sort of too present, because they forget that the past has consequences in the present.

There are other songs on this album that are encounters with crazy people. “You Never Loved Me” is about a friend of mine who was engaged to marry somebody and moved across the country to be with them, and they just disappeared on her. It’s certainly supposed to be a little bit wry and ironic and not entirely “Boo hoo for me.” I picture the narrator shaking their head and going, “Wow. You really stuck it to me. Good for you.”… I think sociopaths just don’t have that fear that most of us have, where we live most of our lives going “I hope this person likes me” or “Is my loved one mad?” or “How can I make this person happy, because it makes me happy?” We are connected to other people in an emotional, underground kind of way, and I think they’re just not.

Do you think there’s a clear delineation between people who have garden-variety neuroses and those who are mentally ill, or is it a sliding scale between us and some of your more disturbed characters? With the album’s title, were you thinking, ‘Everyone is mentally ill,’ in some certain loose way of thinking?

I certainly do think everybody’s got their thing. I wouldn’t go so far as to say everybody’s mentally ill. I’ve seen a lot of talk about Trump having narcissistic personality disorder, which I 100-percent agree with, but I don’t even know if that qualifies as a mental illness. There are definitely a few about a person I knew who probably is a sociopath, and those were kind of the main mental illness-y songs… I think another way to look at that is, people are trapped in compulsive behavior. I do think it’s on a continuum. Someone who’s just kind of garden-variety f—ed up, that has issues, of repeating the same mistakes or whatever, I don’t want to put that in the category of mentally ill. But I see how denial, when amplified and clung to, starts to encroach upon delusion.

I mean, we see it in our president. I don’t think that he can tell reality from the fiction that he has created. If he says something because he wants it to be true, I think at this point he believes that it makes it true. And I think that is delusional, and it’s hard to say that that kind of delusion is not mentally ill. But it’s self-created. I mean, I don’t think he started out schizophrenic and not able to tell reality from fantasy. I think that it’s a kind of willful, self-imposed brain damage. I definitely think it’s possible to walk yourself into that, just like you can walk yourself out of it one step at a time. Maybe not entirely in everything, but I certainly think there’s an element of work and help that you can take yourself out of being in a pretty bad mental state.

You see hope in these situations, but where does that come into the songs? A lot of them seem to leave the characters trapped, in their own bad behavior or in enabling somebody else’s.

I think with relationships, especially romantic relationships, the decisions you make are less decisions than blind impulses that are almost impossible to resist. Because it bypasses all thinking — even the times where you know, “Hmm, this person’s just like my mother,” or “This dynamic is exactly like the same dynamic I had with X, Y and Z.” I mean, I do it with friends, too. We form our patterns and we go to our spots, and it’s really cognitively painful to wrench ourselves out of those patterns. But it’s fascinating to see how the dynamic can change by just taking the smallest aspect of it and working on it. You can’t change another person, but if you change where you are in the cycle, then everything changes. I think that’s very encouraging and kind of weirdly exciting. And I think the interesting point at which a song gets written is the lament before the solution is either thought of or implemented. Sometimes there’s a benefit in just saying, “I give up, I can’t go on,” and having that moment before then you go on.

This article originally appeared on Billboard.

http://tunecollective.com/2017/04/02/aimee-mann-finds-mental-health-returning-quieter-solo-career/

#aimee #career #finds #health #mann #mental #quieter #returning #Solo

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