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stramberryparadice · 3 years

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SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN #139 - THE IMPOSSIBLE FREEDOM ?

Here is the English translation of the post I wrote here in French.

I apologize in advance for my mistakes, I'm not good in English but I hope that will be understood.

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Shingeki no kyojin is finished. A leading manga of the 21st century has just ended in tears, blood, mourning, disappointment, frustration… and love. So many emotions come to me when I read this final chapter, I needed to express them as clumsily as it is. I’m sure it’s going to get lost in the Internet, but whatever— it is necessary to remove both the joy and the frustration that I feel to pay tribute to Isayama who offered us a work as powerful as it is cursed.

As intense as it is uneven, as perfect as it is imperfect.. like his tragic hero Eren Jäger, who shows us that men are so weak and pitiful in the face of time and the cruelty of the world. How much even if this hero possesses in his hands the power of a God. My analysis will surely be clumsy, I apologize. And I will not fail to point out at the end the bitterness felt on the final development of some characters including that of Misaka Ackerman.

Eren like “CryBaby”

What a slap for the reader to witness such an emotional picture. Yes. Isayama reminds us to what extent Eren isn't a brave knight, not a charismatic hero, not the genocidal demon of this story but a child.. whose weight of Destiny is too heavy to bear. Scan 139 reminds us to what extent we have lost ourselves, just as Eren has in the way, forgetting the very essence of the story that has been told to us from the beginning. It’s not a story of geopolitical warfare, a biological parasite, titanic monsters, a northern deity, or a philosophical-esoteric trip. It's the story of a boy who wants to emancipate himself, to live for himself, tasted of the thirst for adventure, the tranquility of his loved ones but born in a cruel and alienating world that leaves room only for death, abuse of power, betrayal and despair .

A journey where the child becomes an adult at the cost of his or her life. Learning the most painful lesson… To be an adult is to renounce one’s dreams, to bend one’s knee in the face of the servitude of one’s mortal condition, to be content with one’s cage in order to enjoy the little that one can have at one’s disposal, to mourn those who may disappear from one’s life.

A young boy who dreamed only of freedom, surrounded by people who love him. A child whose inspirations, as impulsive, unreasonable and immature as they may be, will push him to his limits. A child who grew up too fast, who could not mourn his mother, aware of her physical and spiritual weakness, who was confronted with the violence of this world which reminded him of his condition of being insignificant, a pawn on the chessboard of the "Way".

A child whose powers worthy of a God then gives him the possibility to realize the unthinkable, almost the absolute fantasy of every Man : to shape a world in his image, to be as free as a bird flying above the clouds without reddish stain to touch the sky. Move forward, Move forward whatever the price… move forward for an illusion of freedom, for an infantile obsession.

And by assuming the role of the wicked “demon” of tales so that the brave knights can free this world from the evil that eats it.

Lost between the present, the past, the future.. time no longer makes sense. Only finality counts, annihilating its titans whatever the price. They have to pay for his mother. They have to pay for his fallen comrades. They must pay for reminding us of our pitiful helplessness as human beings.

But the Demon also has a heart, remorse, feelings, there are people who attach him to this world. Therefore, what to choose?

Divine Freedom or Mortal Love? The impossible equation... Although Eren may have travelled the road in search of the answer, how can freedom and humanity be reconciled? Free your people and protect your loved ones, though imperfect?

______

He will not find the answer— neither by searching the past of the goddess Ymir, not by consulting the other Titans carriers, not by creating the different alternative realities that led to the same observation… only death can free the bird from its cage, only the death of Humanity is able to reconcile the sublime and the hideous. Or rather, a common enemy that will crystallize all their ills. But who would be crazy, brave enough to accept being the victime ?

Like a Christic figure, Eren will assume this role. But not without having to confide his last wishes, his last secrets that can no longer contain… because yes, the demon is limited by his adult condition of 19 years. Yes.. the child has grown up. Recklessness, impulsiveness, daring in the face of death, the omnipotence of the child leaves room for a teenager who is now afraid of dying, who has succumbed to love, who doubts, who is aware of his weakness.

Eren has finally become a man...in pain. He finally accepts his feelings, his weakness in the face of death that awaits him.

He’s not a running child anymore. The plates are only explicit about this. The power of narration.. we come back to the fundamental of this history, which is human psychology. The feelings, the relationships that unite all people between them. Friends or enemies, men or women, child or adult, Eldien or Mahr... Despite our differences, our disagreements, we are all equal and weak in the face of death... but also in the face of the love we can bring to others.

Yes, Eren is a weak hero. Yes, he admits to loving Mikasa. He admits that until the very end, he didn't know how it was going to go. That he was himself a pawn in the divine game of Ymir. Another puppet at the service of a little girl who is also blinded by her duality, by her toxic love for her executioner. One cannot remain insensitive to this remarkable development of the character of Eren whose death was inevitable. For whoever plays with divinities can only lose his humanity, his freedom too. By the ultimate sacrifice of his selfish and human desires finally. Eren alone became the true savior of this world. He will also have kept his promise to his friends, to the beings he loves by offering them last memories through the “Way”.

Selfless Love or True Freedom

As Mikasa said: The world is cruel, but also … Very beautiful.

Whoever sets a glance without hatred on the world, with compassion, with love for his neighbor will be able to claim to touch with the finger this Freedom so sought.. a selfless love, not turned to satisfy one’s own selfish desires.

Because Love, like hate, takes different forms.

Love connecting us to our roots, our family of blood…

Love binding two beings who love each other, desire each other, cherish each other, seek each other….

Love that binds us to his comrades, his battalion, his family of choice, his heart…

Love that life brings to us in all its forms…

Love… this power that is unpredictable and uncontrollable.

And that can become the obsession of a lifetime. It is by becoming an obsession that love becomes as destructive as hatred, and sends us back to our condition as an alienated Man… locked up in his “Path”, in his cage.

It's by demonstrating resilience and self-sacrifice that man can taste freedom. We can find redemption in the love that others have for him, that we also have for him. For a few hours, a few years…

At the cost of a renewal of the cycle of hatred, because man remains selfish, not all are ready to make sacrifices. Therefore, Mikasa and Eren have made the greatest of sacrifices for the survival of their comrades and the world: they give up their chance to be happy together, sacrifice their desire to be together for the rest of humanity. As in tragedies, the main heroes are victims of Destiny, are those who will pay the price so that others can flourish and live. The children have become adults.

Just as Armin is no longer the whiny little boy to protect. Unlike Eren, he managed to learn from his mistakes, grieve, face his own fears, confess his love to the girl he loves. It is finally he who will raise the wounded little boy, who will comfort him.

The frustration

Mikasa is the main character of the story. It's through her that awakening is made, it is through her hand that she closes this long journey. In Eren’s memories, it is always central. It is the key, the final solution.

It's his psychological, his emotional journey that we will follow throughout the manga. Eren is only a complement, the character who crystallizes his goals. In a world where men are “dominant”, the woman must bend her knee, support her prince so that the light shines on him. Isayama knew how to play perfectly on this classic code of narration. Whether one agrees or not with the conclusion of certain female characters, the work often highlights the fact that men are only victims of their passions and obsessions.

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Only women seem to emerge victorious in the face of the cruelty of the world : they take up arms (Historia), continue to fight in the face of despair (Mikasa), enjoy life and bring joy around her (Sasha), support other women in their emancipations ( Ymir with Historia) question their education (Gaby) disobey (Annie), go against the “moral” principles to survive (Ymir Frizt who continues to love his executioner), sacrifice for the common good (Hanzi Zoe)… But of course… without also paying the price of sacrifice and making concessions.

Historia bears a child of a man whom she does not seem to like but assumes the role of the mother whom she would have liked to have while assuming the heavy attribute of the office of Queen in a country plagued by nationalist tendencies guided by fear. With Eren’s help, she did not give in to the temptation of self-sacrifice but decided herself who she would save or not, what path she wanted to follow. Her desire was to be a mother, a good mother. Whatever the father, it was an indestructible motherly love that she wanted to offer to a child. The one she never had.

Mikasa agreed to kill Eren because, if she had given him another answer, their life as fugitives would have been but a fleeting dream and Eren’s death was inevitable.

Despite her powerful love for Eren (as addicted as he may be, explained by the power of the Ackermans?), she will break the chains of her servitude by killing her only Love. She is the light. She accomplished the journey of a true heroine by demonstrating resilience, by giving of herself for the world.

She had only eyes for Eren.. was open to others, to show empathy, a desire to continue living for other comrades who are dear to him.

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Mikasa also leads the way in Ymir Fritz… you can love a monster, you can be a prisoner of a toxic relationship but you can free yourself from it. One can become free, but the price to pay will be to carry this infinite sadness, this frustration of having been able to live another story if things would have been different. By her kiss, she showed what true Love is.

Although the frustration is present, although we would have liked her to turn the page and rebuild her life, she must also pay the price of her “freedom”, of her “survival”: haunted by the sacrifice of Eren, guardian of her memories, from her grave as if to preserve her existence as long as she can live.

Once again, women show that they are stronger than we think. So Ymir was also able to free himself of his toxic link with the King by making the Titans disappear.

In the image of the bittersweet end of the chapter, which shows us that the disappearance of a monster, of a divine force “responsible” for the horrors, is not the long-awaited salvation.

The vices, the human fears will remain the poison, preventing us from reaching this illusory freedom. Men do not need deities to dig their own way to death.

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From "occidental" point of view, it is true that this is a blow to the “strong” women of the work still alive. Reduced to being collateral victims of Love, as toxic as this link may be (Ymir-Mikasa). Reduced to attaching themselves to winning or losing romantic figures depending on whether their love-interests is the villain of the story (Mikasa-Annie). Reduced to their role as mother-benefactor (Historia-Gaby).

It’s awkward, but I think Isayama wanted to show that no one is spared. That no character can claim complete tranquility and sweet freedom.

Everyone has had to sacrifice something to survive, and women and men are equal in this judgment. Women also remain victims in a world that remains dominated also by the cruelty of Men (the human race in general). They are not completely free, they are also trapped in roles.

Everyone carries the weight of his choice. That characters have a duty to remember, to pass on to future generations the horrors they have lived to try not to reproduce the same mistakes. Even if their new life choices are imperfect, disappointing for those on the outside.

Levi sacrificed many of his comrades to fulfill his promise to Erwin in his quest for truth and to continue the fight for Eldian freedom.

Armin and Mikasa sacrificed Eren: their friend, their love, the dearest being to fulfill their promise to discover the outside world and touch that freedom.

Like Levi Ackerman and his love for his battalion comrades. As for Mikasa and his love for Eren (because she saw the human behind the monster). She has been waiting for a sign for 3 years to see him again in order to follow up on “see you later Eren”.

Finally, a bird comes to give him his wrap. To encourage him to go forward again. To continue to live…

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The most free people are those who honestly and sincerely love someone. Those who are able to see the beauty of the world despite its ugliness. Who give without waiting for return. Those who continue to look at the world without hatred, those who do not succumb to its cruelty. Tears are running down…

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starcourtscream · 4 years

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𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑬𝑻.

repost, don’t reblog

BASICS.

full name. lydia martin. pronunciation. LID-ee-a nickname. barbie. ariel. ginger spice. cherry bomb. gender. cis female. height. 5′3″ age. 18 zodiac. pisces. spoken languages. english, spanish, classical latin, archaic latin, french. unbridled sass.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair color. strawberry blonde eye color. green skin tone. pale body type. petite, hourglass/curvy accent. american (californian) voice. there’s always a smoky raspiness to it because of her screaming, but she can be chirpy and melodic, distant/abstracted/monotonous or clipped and tart/snappy. depends on her mood. dominant hand. right. posture. she walks a runway model. shoulders down, core tight and chest pushed out, leaning out on one hip, she’s always striking a pose. scars. mysterious bite scar on her left side, stab wound above her right hip, trepan drill hole near her left temple, pale pink ring circling her throat from attempted druid sacrifice. tattoos. n/a. birthmarks. n/a. most noticeable feature(s). rose gold wavy hair, voluptuous lips, catlike green eyes, short yet modelesque physique. attitude.

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth. beacon hills, california hometown. hawkins, indiana birth weight. she was little birth height. um?? baby???? ( sorry i’m dyscalculic i can’t with numbers ) manner of birth. VD first words. mama siblings. none parents. natalie martin (mother), unnamed, divorced, estranged + irrelevant father parental involvement. natalie was the most responsible parent, always making sure lydia had the best of everything and was well taken care of. she is loving, supportive of lydia and her ambitions, gives her advice but also plenty of space and respects her personal life and allows her to make her own choices. natalie has made one impulsive and misguided attempt at protecting lydia with her heart in the right place, committing her to an institution for catatonic treatment after an injury that resulted in lydia being abused, tortured and almost murdered by corrupt orderlies but lydia was rescued in time and natalie realized her mistake. otherwise, natalie and lydia have a healthy relationship. lydia’s father was never involved in her life even before divorcing natalie and removing himself from the equation, having no idea how smart she was and assuming the worst of her. if anything, he would speak to lydia patronizingly as if she were a toddler and call her a total nuclear meltdown or assume she had behavioral problems in school when she was actually outperforming her classmates with an above average IQ and displaying stellar leadership skills. he had no idea who his own daughter was because he was too busy cheating on natalie and being a narcissistic ass. after their divorce when lydia was a high school freshman, he never maintained contact and lydia’s fine never hearing from him again, good riddance.

ADULT LIFE.

occupation. TA for natalie at the high school. current residence. martin residence, 8613 orchard st., hawkins indiana. close friends. verse dependent. ( st - nancy wheeler, steve harrington. tw - allison argent, scott mccall, danny mahealani, malia tate. other - cheryl blossom. ) relationship status. verse dependent financial status. middle class driver’s license. just in time for sweet 16. she drives a white toyota prius. criminal record. crystal clear babey ( she’s smart enough to get away with anything tbh ) vices. partying, getting into all kinds of trouble.

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation. heterosexual. romantic orientation. heterosexual. preferred emotional role. submissive | dominant | switch preferred sexual role. submissive | dominant | switch libido. high turn on’s. compliments, teasing, neck kissing, semi-public, biting, leaving marks with her nails, being put against walls or picked up and put on surfaces, confidence. turn off’s. general stupidity. love language. attention empathy. relationship tendencies. when there’s chemistry, she typically goes along with it and does what she wants with her sexuality but connections are often ????? and undefined. she’s a little romantically jaded and she can be a tough cookie, hard to get to, skeptical. even if she falls for someone, she won’t be the first to admit it because she doesn’t want to make herself vulnerable enough to get hurt.

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song. these dreams - heart, hounds of love - kate bush, omen - kim petras hobbies to pass time. shopping, listening to music, astrology, playing with her dog prada, drawing, painting, writing poetry, developing complex mathematic/scientific theoretical equations, ice skating, roller skating, partying mental illnesses. ptsd, anxiety physical illnesses. n/a left or right-brained. left with some artistic/creative traits fears. death of those she cares about, apocalyptic events self-confidence level. high vulnerabilities. her intuitive/psychic abilities being mistaken for insanity + others thinking she’s crazy, experiencing fugue states in public and banshee phenomenon making her look neurotic or people knowing she isn’t 100% “normal”. she’s a perfectionist, carries herself like a supermodel and creates the illusion of a charmed life to compensate for insecurity rooted in fear of isolation. she’s not superficial but she plays the popular card to feel liked/admired because she doesn’t want to be alone. highly emotional but plays it cool with her attitude to avoid risking backlash/rejection.

tagged by: @hargroeve tagging: @lghtpulled @ashenbled @losesfinger @wheelerisms @campbitch @arcadeking @fixatedbullshit @batmomtm @turnedahero @vanishcd @endheir @disregardsorders @boysarcasm @pentaxed @starcourted @saunatested @chpacbra @freakfink @kingsitter & whoever wants to !

#♡ 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 — ( headcanons )

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gascon-en-exil · 5 years

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FE16 Blue Lions Liveblogging

Chapters 5-6. A fair amount of story progress - I just hope the tense music used from searching the monastery on the latter chapter doesn’t stick around. It doesn’t set a great mood for wondering around and talking to everybody and rooting through their stuff.’

I like how each student gets their own dormitory room, which are individualized via little touches. They’re also not split up by house, but rather between nobles and commoners and...nobles who wanted a ground floor room? There’s a few of those. Like Bernadetta, who came out of hers for the first time in Chapter 6.

The monthly tournaments are a good way to pick up decent forges for free, but I don’t like how nerve-wracking they get toward the end since your entrant’s HP doesn’t replenish after each bout. I’ve also been getting some good use out of choir practice, and sometimes the dining hall features for motivation and small boosts to stats. Getting training from the staff is another matter, but then I’m not focusing much on Byleth’s growth.

Beast fights certainly feel different from anything else in the series. I’ve done two so far, the story one with Sylvain’s brother and one against a giant bird. I assume later fights will make it harder to keep them stunlocked until they die.

I missed out on the Death Knight’s Dark Seal again because I still don’t have a thief, but then I remembered that I have no male casters anyway. Does dark mage offer anything that mage doesn’t, apart from Miasma? It hardly seems worth it for the trouble of getting a special seal.

I do however have a handful of units in intermediate classes, so I’m getting to play around with Canto on Sylvain and Ingrid and Ashe’s increased bow range. Unlike in FE10 the accuracy drop from using bows at longer range is actually noticeable in almost all fights. Dismounting meanwhile feels a bit clunkier than in FE5, but that might be a way of discouraging you from using it too frequently. Dedue gets to show some skin as a brawler, which I’ve read is a better option than brigand for characters with iffy SPD. His axe rank is still great regardless. As for the casters, I wonder if spells learned as class skills remain after the unit changes to something else. I’ll find out when Annette promotes again since she doesn’t learn Fire inherently.

I don’t like how it’s not explained why Dimitri is unavailable for the Chapter 6 story battle. I know why Edelgard wouldn’t be there for the Eagles (benefits of spoiling yourself on everything first), but there’s no reason given for Dimitri, or I assume Claude, to miss it.

@mwritesink said that Gilbert’s C support is pre-timeskip only, so I’ve been looking for every opportunity to recruit him so I can start working on that sweet, sweet incredibly buried-in-flat-subtext S rank with a guy who looks like he’d need about a tumbler of Cialis to get it up. Hey, my eyes are very clearly elsewhere when it comes to the M/M content on this route.

And speaking of that...my first paralogue involved Dedue returning to Duscur to mediate a rebellion situation. I know you can temporarily recruit characters from other houses for their related paralogues, but it wouldn’t surprise me if your first one always comes from your own house. The shipping content was sweet as ever, but the map itself was a convoluted mess with a bunch of narrow paths and aggressive NPCs stealing half the kills. Not great - would have been better had Ingrid been a pegasus knight first.

On supports, a bunch of the B ranks I’ve gotten are shown in red. Means that they can’t grow anymore until after the timeskip, I’m guessing.

Story/Character observations

Sylvain reminds me of Lex in how offhanded he appears to be about killing his own brother. I wasn’t expected that coming from someone so ambivalent about crests and what having one means for him.

There’s an Eastern church too, but they’re said to not be very influential because they also have to answer to the Alliance. I wonder if that will come up again....

Felix’s father shows up but hasn’t done much of note yet. They do explain decently how Miklan’s actions have affected his territory, but it still seems a bit random. Dedue’s observation that Rodrigue visited Dimitri several times after Dimitri’s father was killed doesn’t really smack of a developed surrogate father/son relationship, nor does their behavior around each other.

Gautier territory sounds like the North from GoT, only (slightly) more French.

I’ve barely talked about Flayn. I know exactly who and what she and Seteth are (and Rhea knows too, right?), and I can sort of piece together how she ties into the Flame Emperor’s plan with regard to Monica, but I don’t have much to say about her otherwise. That might change since I think she’s going to be playable now.

Onto supports, Dedue/Felix is as violent as expected (so much for a threeway), Mercedes/Annette is shippy right from their C and only becomes more so, Mercedes/Felix also pulls the “you’re like my sibling” bit and will eventually resolve itself in sex, Ashe/Felix looks to be setting up Felix for the really close friends *nudge nudge wink wink* with the king scenario, and Ashe/Ingrid oddly sidesteps the sexism Ingrid faces, positing that the reason she can’t be a knight isn’t because she’s a woman but because she’s the only heir to a crest. Cyril needs to calm down in general, but he’s less over the top than some past FE workaholics. Dimitri runs away from women and needs Sylvain to bail him out, and meanwhile knight NPCs are spreading dirty rumors about how, ahem, close he is to a man of Duscur. Mercedes almost kills Dimitri and gets into some genuinely interesting comparative theology with Dedue, and Anna randomly shows up in one of the supports I don’t remember too well (Ashe/Annette, maybe?).

Side note: I am personally annoyed that, as of right now, whoever’s been writing up the TVTropes* page for the Three Houses casts has deemed Dimitri, Felix, and Sylvain Ambiguously Bi for their paired endings amongst each other...but has said nothing about Dimitri/Dedue. Hmph.

*Never the most reliable source for anything, but I’m feeling petty.

#Fire Emblem #FE16 #Fire Emblem Three Houses #Spoilers

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darling-i-fancy-you · 7 years

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I Meant Something Like That - Steve Harrington x Reader

[AN: Based off the an amazing request I received asking for a Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader based loosely off the ‘Cooler’ Episode from New Girl with the first ever Nick and Jess kiss and also one of my favourite kisses in the history of television. You don’t understand the happy dance I did when I received this prompt!

To maybe follow some of this fic you may have to look up the rules to True American, just for the fist couple of paragraphs of this fic if you aren’t familiar.]

You weren’t exactly sure how you had found yourself partaking in the excited games of your younger brother and his friends, upon turning thirteen and suddenly becoming interested in the boys in your classes you hadn’t spent much longer than half an hour in the presence of Dustin or his nerd squad. However something to do with Steve Harrington turning up to your house with a bottle of stolen liquor for you both to share and a promise that it ‘wouldn’t be all that bad’ had swayed you into playing a game with rules that were not all that clear.

‘Okay so remind me again,’ you giggled swaying on the spot, ‘the soda cans?’

‘Are the pawns, Y/N, God!’ Lucas shouted, he was standing on top of a sofa cushion. ‘Whoever’s team drinks all the soda’s on their side first gets a chance at claiming the stack of comic books.’

‘Right!’ You hiccuped and took a sip of your spiked root beer, your eyes lazily glanced over at Steve.

Steve was stood poised with one foot on the sofa armrest and the other on the reclining chair, he grinned as he caught you staring.

‘One, two, three, JFK!’ He shouted.

‘FDR!’ The party responded, each downing the respected soda cans and then picking another up.

Each of you took another step in the weird formation of a circle you had created in the basement of your house. Cushions and pillows lay scattered in between chairs and place mats, providing a safe-haven from the ‘molten’ floor.

‘Iceman, Angel, Cyclops!’ Dustin began to chant.

‘X-Men!’ You laughed, all but Steve and Jane took a sip of their drink.

‘Time-out!’ Wheeler announced, crossing his arms in the shape of a T. ‘I gotta have a bathroom break guys, all this soda is building up in me!’

‘Yeah, me too.’ Muttered Will with a meek smile at the ladies of the group.

You chuckled at Max and Jane’s grossed out faces and bounced back onto the cushionless sofa, moments later your brother plopped down beside you. With glassy eyes you smiled down at him.

‘We got a new rule coming up.’ He grinned. ‘I’m gonna shout one, two, three, and everyone has to put a number up to their heads anyone with a matching number has to kiss in the closet.’

‘Ew gross!’ You exclaimed. ‘What if we have a matching number, doofus?’

‘Gross! No hear me out first!’ He began to explain. ‘We’re gonna make it so Max and I have matching numbers, Lucas is gonna tell her if she holds up a seven no one will match up with her, but I will.’ He purred.

‘You’re a creep, Dusty, you know that right.’ You rolled your eyes at your brothers pathetic antics. ‘So what number should I hold up? I don’t wanna kiss any of your dweeby friend.’

‘Go for a one, you’ll be safe with a one.’ He nodded firmly and patted your shoulder before standing up.

Mike and Will returned to the basement, they where whispering about something and Byers seemed a little out of it.

‘Drinks ready?’ Max smiled wickedly, as though a plan had formulated in her mind. Somehow you didn’t believe your brother would be getting the kiss he so desired.

The squad re-positioned themselves in their earlier positions, you were stood dead-centre of the sofa with Jane to your left and Mike on your right. You watched as Lucas signalled a thumbs up to Dustin, an affirmation that their plan was supposedly in action.

‘One, two, three!’ Dustin called out, many of the members looked on confused.

Jane held up a five to her head, Mike a three, Lucas a nine, Dustin a seven, Max a ten, and Will a four. Steve looked at you in bewilderment before copying your number, a one.

‘Steve, no!’ You grumbled as heat rose to your face.

‘Lucas, what the hell man?’ Dustin accused.

‘Sorry, man.’ He replied sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders.

‘What?’ Steve questioned, he swayed slightly from the top of the chair. ‘What does it mean, do we drink?’

‘No you ki-’ Lucas began.

‘How about we just forget that round?’ You suggested and wished the couch would swallow you whole right about now.

‘Nah-uh, Y/N’ Dustin scolded. ‘It’s the rules. You guys gotta kiss and we all get to drink.’

You looked over at Steve with apologetic eyes, from the right you heard Mike snicker, a swift elbow to his shoulder saw him lose his balance and he fell into the ‘lava’.

‘Oom-pah-pah!’ The rivalling teams announced and took swigs of their drinks.

‘Y/N, we’re on the same team!’ Mike grumbled, you looked at him with a snarl.

Pleadingly you looked at Dustin, then Lucas, then Will and Jane and Max, all of them responding with a small smile and a shrug of the shoulders. In frustration you groaned and jumped off the sofa.

‘Oom-pah-pah!’ The teams announced again and then once more as you dragged Steve off the reclining chair and towards the closet door.

‘C’mon, Harrington.’ You said softly.

The closet was warm and small, a clothes peg dug into your shoulder blade as you backed against the wall, Steve chuckled earnestly.

‘This is your fault, you know.’ You smiled despite the situation.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like Steve, you did, in fact you really did. He was handsome, kind, funny, and you and him had become quite good friends over the course of the past year. It was weird at first, you had to admit, that he spent so much time with your brother and his dumb friends, but Dustin looked up to Steve and it wasn’t hard to see why.

Lonely nights babysitting a bunch of pre-teens had now become nights spent laughing with Harrington as he dished out advice to the boys and warned the girls to stay away from boy’s like Max’s brother, Billy.

Other nights you’d sit together in the living area listening to your records, whilst the boys took claim over the kitchen playing Dungeons and Dragons, those nights were your favourites.

‘It’s always my fault.’ Steve replied with mirth in his voice. ‘It was my fault when the T.V blew out, it was my fault when Tews escaped, oh and it was my fault when you spilt that entire can of root beer all over the carpet.’ He grinned.

‘Shut up.’ You muttered, pushing back on his shoulder. ‘Maybe we should just suck it up and french a little.’

Steve coughed, his next breath caught in his chest by surprise.

‘Sorry,’ you apologised, ‘I just mean, maybe we should just get this over with. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.’

‘Okay,’ he laughed, ‘but don’t say lets suck it up and french a little.’

‘Right.’ You laughed.

You could feel the ends of your limbs tingle with anticipation, your heart practically beating against your rib cage desperate to escape. Steve let out a low breath and licked at his lips.

‘What are you doing?’ You questioned with a laugh as his head moved in towards yours.

‘I’m licking my lips?’ He explained as though it was obvious. ‘D’ya want kiss dry lips?’ His brow arched in confusion.

‘Uh-’ you stuttered. ‘No I guess not.’

‘Okay, so I’m licking them to make them better.’ He licked them once more. ‘Shut up.’

‘Don’t tell me to shut up.’ You argued and pushed at his chest.

‘Y/N.’ He groaned. ‘I thought we were just gonna do this and get it over with.’

‘Okay, we are!’ You exclaimed and reach your hands to curve around the back of his neck.

Instinctively Steve’s body curled into yours, you were chest to chest, nose to nose, hip to hip. He smelt like the rum you had been sharing all night, mixed with the recognisable scent of his aftershave. His hands fell softly against your waist and heat radiated from his palms.

Was he nervous? You questioned internally.

‘Are you a tonguer?’ Steve whispered.

‘What?!’ You whipped back at him. ‘A tonguer?’

‘I don’t wanna put my tongue in your mouth if you’re not.’ He explained.

‘Steve, just kiss me.’ You sighed exasperatedly.

‘Fine.’

‘Do it then.’

‘I’m doing it.’

‘Are you guys done?!’ There was a thud against the door, it sounded like a shoe.

‘It’s been like 10 minutes guys!’ Shouted Sinclair.

‘I swear to God, Steve, if you’re making out with her I’ll kick your ass.’ Came a cry from Dustin.

With a groan Steve pulled away from you and pushed himself back against the wall, he rubbed a hand over his face pulling his facial features down with it. You looked at him and saw the flushed skin of his cheeks and his dark eyes staring at you softly.

‘I can’t kiss you, Y/N.’ He sighed. ‘Not like this.’

His own eyes widened at his last statement.

‘I mean- you know- like-’ Steve stuttered. ‘Like we can’t kiss like this, like at all, right?’

His eyes pleaded with you to understand and his hands fumbled for the door handle.

‘We’re done.’ Steve called out as he took a step out of the closet.

The cool air of the basement hit your face in relief, you blinked back at the bright lights and took a step out of the closet yourself. Steve was already back in position, a drink in his hand and gaze that avoided catching anyone’s eyes.

The game continued on almost uneventfully for the rest of the evening, yourself and Mike Wheeler actually managed to win the game when Steve started a round of ‘finish the quote’. Unfortunately for the rest of the kids only yourself and Steve had managed to see Terminator so when he started off the quote:

‘Come with me if you want to-’

You excitedly screamed ‘live!’ and downed the last can of soda. Mike tackled you as he realised the bounty of comic books stacked on the coffee table were now officially his and you smugly smiled to yourself.

Half an hour later you were rounding up a bunch of sugar-high kids and sending them out of the door to their rides home, it was getting late and tomorrow was a school day. Tipsy from the quarter bottle of rum you had consumed you lazily picked up the empty soda cans and deposited them into a trash bag.

Your silent partner Steve Harrington helped, he scooped up the empty boxes of pizza and made his way over to you.

‘Y/N.’ He started.

‘Steve.’ You smiled and stopped him, he dropped the pizza boxes into the trash can. ‘You can go you know, I’m fine cleaning the rest of this up.’

‘Now you know I can’t do that, Y/N.’ He smiled and picked up a few stray cans from under the coffee table.

The once loud and messy room was slowly beginning to look a little bit more like itself, cushions had been picked up from the floor, chairs had been placed back under tables and sweet wrappers and soda cans had been removed. You turned to look at Steve, he had perched himself by the stairs of the basement, ready to leave once you confirmed the place was officially tidy.

‘Thanks.’ You smiled softly and made your way over to him.

‘Anytime.’ He grinned back.

You reached for handrail before a voice and a hand stopped you in your tracks.

‘Y/N.’ Steve whispered before spinning you around and into his chest.

In one quick motion his lips were on top of yours and his hand had curled into your hair. On instinct you flung your arms around his neck, pulling him deeper as he drew every last breath from your body. His tongue ran over your lips and you readily parted them, the sweet taste of rum and coca-cola spread across your tongue. His hands moved to grip at your waste and you felt for a moment your feet leave the ground, then he pecked at your lips, once, twice, and then it was over.

‘I meant something like that.’ He whispered breathlessly

[A/N 2: I LOVED WRITING THIS! It will always be my favourite Ness moment! I did proof-read this as I was writing it but in a couple of hours when I’ve had my break from my laptop I’ll do another quick proof-read! Hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!]

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #joe keery #stranger things #stranger fic #fan fiction #dustin henderson #henderson!reader #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #jane hopper #mike wheeler #will byers #steve harrington fic

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spiritcc · 7 years

Text

Clowns

Soon it will be Pagliacci. Don’t ask.

The third episode off the marathon list, and boy I think my opinion about it changes every time I see it. One thing doesn’t though, this episode is definitely not the best one out there, although it’s the second most watched episode on youtube after the first one. One can only wonder, what can I say. I fought for this one and its copyright claims the most as well, don’t know why I said that, alright.

As always, very spoiler infested, talking about the entire series, beware, all that.

Pagliacci is an opera they’re all listening to here. Definitely the tune.

The first time I’ve seen it, this episode fucking broke me. I don’t know, I just found it very heavy, everyone suffers and gets manipulated and all that, sad stuff. I still thought it wasn’t as good as the second episode, for example, still can’t exactly pinpoint why.

Today, now I know that a thing as Sherlock Holmes: The Game of Shadows exists and all, I just found this episode kinda fun, but nothing else. Despite it being literally crucial to the plot, nothing particularly catchy after the first watch.

Yeah, if you’re as in the dark as me about other Holmes adaptations, that second RDJ movie and this episode are identical plot-wise. Literally, look it up. It’s so similar it’s scary. The most interesting thing is that neither could’ve stolen anything from one another, RDJ came out in 2011 and this series wrapped the filming up that year, so again, one can only wonder. A kind of similar thing was pointed out about Sherlock S3 and this series as well back in 2014, like both Moriarties never actually died and some other weirdly precise matches, but as of today, that sure fell fucking flat, haha, Sherlock, u don fucked it up. So, whoever seen RDJ first, that will sure spoil the entirety of this episode.

A lot of casual foreshadowing in this one, a lot.

I really wonder about the timeline of this journal, obviously since those pics are events yet to come episode-wise and Watson is talking in past tense, all these narrations happen at least after the Reichenbach. The only episode where Watson writes in present tense is the last one. So, obviously, one of the reasons he’s writing all of this down is to look back at the man he once knew, but anyway.

Parenting sure is hard

These teenagers are so dramatic

I thought the first part of this episode was kind of exciting, Moriarty all right and everything, when it was just a distant case, everything was going fine

This guy used to advertise juice and now he’s here being all spy-ish. I mean I’m glad he’s got other career paths besides juice, but it’s still kinda weird.

The casual foreshadowing hit me just like Big Ben hit one. Ballistics, followed by Big Ben ringing. I mean holy shit. The entire of the last episode right there. Yikes. Always been there

Here comes the scene that used to be my most popular post once, almost 28k notes, if not for the fucking fwoosh cat meme. Despite the fame, the show didn’t gain any new audience.

Now, here comes the personal part of this case and there things get pretty nasty. This episode does sure come down brutally on differences between Holmes and Watson, and many would probably root for Watson there, but I felt this episode hard because I kind of accepted both of them. We’ve talked about Watson’s past that will always be a part of his life and mentality, he’s still a soldier. Holmes is just a rather pathetic dude with skewed priorities and no basic compassion whatsoever, no background for that, he’s just this weird. Holmes cares about the case, Watson cares about his friends.

Then things switch, and Holmes seemingly cares more about some gal and Watson cares about the case. I don’t know, should I get into this or nah? Did everyone kinda get everyone? No sudden disgust with Holmes or whatever? Everyone gets the situation he was in and stuff? I don’t feel like defending anyone because I always assumed everyone understood what was going on. I personally felt for each character there, even if I didn’t understand or agree with their thinking.

What I do wonder about is Watson’s acceptance of this, he got slapped, turned into a criminal and participated in some war starting scheme, well, at first. He went along with it and at the end had no reaction besides “yeah...bad stuff....”. That’s some rather difficult characteristic to read through, does he understand that in the end Holmes is somewhere in his own realm and he just has to accept that they have polar opposite views on things? Holmes is a young pathetic dude that always needs help and also provides some cool adventures? On one end, I should’ve been really questioning Watson’s behaviour there, especially when at the end he didn’t feel much about the entire ambassador situation. But then, I’m afraid that subconsciously I get him. Like you know, I watch him just shrug everything off and yeah, well. What’s done is done, Holmes is Holmes. Literally, I could write essays about that, but it will never be as perfectly summarised as the basic idea that Holmes is Holmes. Why should Watson demand apologies, engage into some heating ideological debates when, at the end, Holmes is Holmes? He’s not on the same level as everyone else, and I think that’s what Watson understands perfectly, and that’s why he is totally willing to shrug his comments off and close eyes on a lot of his actions. After all, when did it NOT pay off? Don’t demand normal things from him, just follow his lead and you will not be disappointed.

I think I’m also answering my big question as to how in the fuck did these two became friends after all of this, and man, it still makes a whole lot of sense. Not like it never did or anything, but yeah, I totally see the reasons why. Although never really understood why Holmes, across all adaptations, decided to be friends with Watson, but yeah. Holmes is Holmes, so fuck knows what’s going on up there.

On the understanding part, I think I’m still not a cold blooded bitch after all since despite all my feelings towards Irene Adler, I could still sympathise with her situation.

When your fucky ex cockblocks you

I mean, why wouldn’t you get the girl, she’s fucked. Even at this point it’s clear that she’s fucked, she’s trapped, she’s obviously on Moriarty’s team forcibly and if something happens she’s completely screwed and helpless, not even mentioning her pathetic boyfriend. I still don’t like their awkward romance, although Holmes’ sentiment is cute, but it is what it is.

They literally knew each other for a day, when did all of this big love bullshit happen.

Anyways, these guys are fucky and helpless, but that’s what makes it work, in my opinion, they’re all young clueless idiots who barely have any idea what they’re up against. Holmes was never a hero. Holmes was never a proper member of society. All he has in his disposal is his brain, and he might be a lot of things and names you want to call him, but his intellect is the only thing he uses for a weapon, and that weapon is awesomely deadly.

Confirmed farsightedness here, shouldn’t have wasted so much time examining dirt up close

Also, interesting background Mycroft that keeps saving Sherlock’s ass and agreeing to all the shit he proposes. I’m always a bitch for statements like Lestrade’s about Mycroft constantly having to get his brother out of trouble.

The ambassador gang is weirdly charming, I’d totally hang out with these guys.

That scene fucked me up the first time, not anymore I guess, but yeah, hits the nail on the head, this Holmes is pathetic and life is clearly not on the side of this guy as the stories make it seem.

I secretly relate way too much to this Holmes because how much of a loser he is, couldn’t care less about the guy at first, but then Watson gave way to Holmes almost completely. I’ve always been a Holmes girl whichever the adaptation *shrugs*.

He trolled Moriarty when no one else could

I already mentioned it somewhere that he dropped a fucking Beatles reference of all things there, a sentence that should’ve been “yesterday all my trouble seemed so far away” which I’m not translating properly because it’s fucking outrageous. Kavun himself wanted us to fix it, believe it or not. I’m not doing it. I’m not making one of the most ingenious Moriarties out there quote The Beatles. Are you shitting me.

I love this series’ Moriarty so much you can’t imagine. This episode scared the shit out of me at first, the guy is fucking scary, and he still is no matter how convincing, in your opinion, this episode was. I mean jesus fuck he’s been there literally all along since episode one and some people have seen the series several times and had no idea. I think I’ll talk more about the guy in the sixth episode or so, but yeah, love him. Insulting the genius of this Moriarty is insulting me. I’m grabbing onto him even stronger than to fucking Holmes himself probably. Also, WE DID THE SURVIVING FIRST.

I liked (=died) how the show plays with its established rules, boxing before this episode was always a some sort of lighthearted element, comic relief or so. Now they broke this rule and made it very hard to watch. Indeed, fun

Now, how did they come up with the translator scene? This is so specific I really wonder if there was someone amongst the crew really fed up with something, or not exactly properly fed, huh.

This guy is definitely a one scene wonder. At least he ate in the end, nobody else got the chance when the French guy got shot. Very smart.

The French guy, have you noticed, in his first scene he said that this opera feels like it’s bringing him back to life. Cue to the end of this episode:

Fantastic.

No, but these guys are so fun to hang out with, there’s like a war ready to break out at any moment and they’re just chillin’ pranking each other on personal and global level.

The sailor’s background ark hits unexpectedly at the last second. The agent of the queen. The queen, of course, she’d been hunting for Moriarty for quite a while, Holmes had no idea what he got himself into.

Did you know there are a few fics of Moriarty/Quee- never mind I’m not elaborating on that.

Lots of foreshadowing

Only by the end of the third episode did we find out his name.

That’s how you work your way up the criminal world.

So yeah, I don’t know, really crucial to the overall plot, but not that enjoyable in the end, I literally don’t know why. Something about the plot, I’ve no idea, something about it just wasn’t that fascinating in the end.

Pagliacci or not, but Holmes and Adler are surely a bunch of tragic clowns.

#new russian sherlock holmes #marathon notes #pagliacci

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