What even *is* the plot of the Beetle? Other than Racism and Bad Writing?
Well, there was some hope for a fever dreamy what-the-fuck nightmare scenario where an unemployed clerk gets turned into a brain slave by a bugperson who forces him to do naked burglary
But then it kind of went downhill after that into Masochism Land
It's not even fun garbage anymore. It's straight nuclear waste that we're wading through, hoping for another glimpse of Bare-assed Blorbo or the BEETLE (their pronunciation) for some oasis of weirdness to make the shittiness worth it. So far it's just Dick Marsh inflicting a genocidal incel on us and hoping we find him quirky. It is not working.
Do not read The Beetle. Absorb what filters out here the way you would drink still-questionable water that's come through a tormented strainer of readers who sift through Dick's awful Marsh of Misery. I guarantee whatever you piece together yourself will be 100000x more artful than the literary slog that is this hellbook. -100 out of 5 stars. Dead beetle do not open.
The one silver lining is that it is so wretched, so abysmal, so mind-breakingly rancid, that it's genuinely inspiring. Hatefully so. It's made so many people sit down, stare into eternity, and decide, rightly:
I could sneeze on my keyboard and write a better story than this. I could slam finger paints blindly on a piece of paper and draw a better story than this. I think I will.
It's a motivator. A muse sculpted out of scarab wings and shit. All the charm and power of a sign reading TOXIC WASTE DUMP BEYOND THIS POINT, sending you careening in the other direction towards art and talent and creation free of any self-judgment.
This thing outsold Dracula when the books first came out, you will think to yourself. This piece of crystallized offal, woe, racist caricatures, endless grammatical purgatories of enough dashes and commas to turn a single sentence into a filibuster. It did that. I am better than that. There's no amount of self-doubt in my heart or on this Earth that can convince me otherwise. I am free and spurred to manifest the better things that exist in my imagination. Thank you, Dick Marsh, in whatever xenophobic murder gas death pool you're marinating in in the afterlife. Thank you.
I say again, do not read The Beetle. The Beetle is not for reading. It exists for the same reason The King in Yellow play exists in Chambers' universe. To seed madness and disgust and the full antithesis of sense and taste and all that is good.
All that, and the Beetle exploring their imprisoned mind-controlled pet clerk's body while they rant about a hot politician they're obsessed with.
The Beetle does not exist to be read, but to be endured.
You may not make it through. I'm not even sure I will.
But the challenge is there.
The option to look upon the Beetlebullshit is here.
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Mari thoughts
Mmmm, thoughts on the mothperson/bugperson dating sim..
It would start off something along the lines of
"You we're walking in the park and you feel a warm wave wash over you, making your skin tingle.
You blink, and you find yourself different.
The grass was now as tall as the trees above you!
You look around, panicked and confused on how you suddenly ended up smaller than you were before... Much, MUCH, smaller.
This is where you'd get introduced to one of the love interests and the one who accidentally shrunk you practicing a spell.
You find out that bugs, in general, can do magic.
They lead you to their school, where a range of bugs practice a range of magic, and you can woo as you find out a way to get back to normal
If you want to get back to normal, that is...
There would be multiple genders, multiple types of bugs and moths and other things, kinda would want it voiced but also haha no cause money.
OBVIOUSLY, a work for later, since I have Weathering Feelings, Yandere Island, and WALLHUSBAND in the works.
But... Just the thoughts uwu
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tags
#elder scrolls
#arena
#arena fighter (nord-breton warrior)
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#daggerfall
#vurhtem (redguard mage)
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#morrowind
#lielurwin gra-makdul (werewolf bosmer-orsimer barfighter + nerevarine)
#naramsinabi (ashlander dunmer buoyant armiger)
#ji'jirr (tojay khajiit rogue + nerevarine)
#telvanni darude (house dunmer spellsword + failed incarnate)
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#oblivion
#valynas othrando (dunmer agent + listener + hero of kvatch)
#agniild tax-evader (nord bard + sheogorath)
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#skyrim
#pokes-enemies-eyes (argonian warrior-mage + dovahkiin)
#ciciir dralanian (imperial warrior + dovahkiin)
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#eso
#zanaranab assar-dansa (ashlander dunmer sharpshooter)
#blinded-by-nirnroot (tsona-thota argonian sorcerer)
#selvrayne galerothi (house dunmer acolyte + vestige)
#strums-strings-softly (tsona-thota argonian sorcerer + vampire)
#nilsse (bosmer crafter)
#keshaba (suthay khajiit warden + pirate)
#k'izshal-dra (suthay-raht khajiit monk)
#mazog gra-mazog (telvanni orsimer mage)
#fights-with-abandon (lukiul argonian veteran + hero)
#shunjirra-do (cathay-raht khajiit dragonknight + pirate)
#moronkh gro-nogash (orsimer-redguard bloodwitch)
#ataadhi sun-chaser (cathay khajiit templar)
#thenadda-ri (pahmar khajiit empress)
#nenwenye (altmer bloodwarden)
#dahlathra-jo (cathay khajiit alchemist)
#ja'ranaarr (alfiq khajiit necromancer)
#shadowdancer (ohmes khajiit assassin)
#ushamonk gro-atulg (orsimer warrior)
#sees-fish-swim (sul-xan argonian hunter)
#fallout
#new vegas
#jenny (courier six)
#warhammer
#brutus jenkins (human guardsman)
#claudia jenkins (human guardsman captain)
#oedipus (chaos space marine, warband split augers)
#anaxandrides (chaos space marine, warband mirrorhost
#na'mnen (daemonette)
#k'bikron (daemon)
#erestix galatas (chaos space marine, legion iron warriors)
#raest (serf to galatas, like 10 years old)
#sorruk voss (space marine, chapter star falcons)
#dao ineh (human psyker, star falcons attaché)
#tk'sen (space marine dreadnought, former techmarine, chapter salamanders)
#kazovdi (princeps, warlord titan magna ignis)
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#araknus (space marine, head chaplain)
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#lyvar ashmaker (space marine, chief librarian)
#verdezi (space marine, intended successor to sazimai)
#arcadese (space marine, former chapter cobalt spears standard bearer, librarian)
#dnd
#renegade riot (adventuring party and band)
#semig rhinnun (half-orc bard + drummer) (me!)
#mabsur naib (half-orc sorcerer + lutist)
#discovery (tiefling cleric + vocalist)
#luvitrois (transformed dragon/elf rogue + harpist)
#bearchucks (brown bear monk + lawyer)
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#quazt
#monster eaters (party of hired mercenaries)
#scent of a storm (tabaxi barbarian + general cunt) (me!)
#vahlok gazadson (dragonborn fighter + moral guardrail)
#vicente vogt (human wizard + divorcee)
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#free cities of ghiz
#skullblast (small party, dead)
#novoril (half-elf paladin + teenage goth) (me!)
#mnason (human bard + normal old man)
...
#ancient teams (small party)
#elsys (eladrin druid + cat-curiosity metaphor) (me!)
#solchren (giant constrictor snake + elsys's pet)
#soffiya petrosian (dwarf artificer + reclusive shut-in)
#mr. wiggles (battle smith construct + soffiya's pet)
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#ruin of wyrm (party of housemates)
#bharryl daeldeg (dwarf artificer + divorcee) (me!)
#goidyn (collectori necroficer + general terror)
#rat the tall (goblin hexblade + damage dealer)
#sam twittchy (half-elf Horny Bard + comic relief)
#rook (kenku monk + party sweetie)
#rose blackthorne (tabaxi cleric + actual mom)
#sybil blackthorne (halfling druid + trapped ghost)
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#radiant collection
#thash mak'gwiir (drow-orc bard + noble) (me!)
#rix everan (owlin monk + fluffy baby)
#balfour (tiefling wizard + ex-warlock)
#pancake (awakened cat ? + nightmare fuel)
#c'laba (bugperson ? + meathead)
#pathfinder
#ghardaraky
#It's Not Graverobbing! (party of graverobbers)
#chett blavrepen (gnome magus + shameless flirt) (me!)
#ambrose cullen (dhampir ? + resident hottie)
#ferrowsdaughter rhianna shadowforge (dwarf cleric)
#vtm
#the night shift (waffle house employees of Phoenix, Arizona)
#elijah taylor (thinblood vampire + line cook) (me!)
#rodrigo alejandro vallarta rodriguez (thinblood vampire + host)
#terri benson (thinblood vampire + server)
#final fantasy
#kuzhuk mankhad (au-ra paladin)
#orij
#ange ampersand (goat anthro)
other tags
#canon's (characters who appear in canon, including dnd NPCs)
#others' (characters who are not mine and not NPCs)
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