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kudouusagi · 9 months

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Buddy Daddies Drama 3

Miri: Trikyua torounto!

Kazuki: Huh?

Rei: Huh?

Miri: Ugh! Kazuki-papa! Rei-papa! Trikyua torounto!

Kazuki: Toriki? Toronto? Oh! So that izakaya is opening up a store overseas now, huh?

Rei: Which Izakaya?

Kazuki: Oh, you don't know about it, shut in? It's so cheap and good! Ah... now I want to eat yakitori.

Rei: Nice... I want tare flavor.

Kazuki: Huh? No, salt flavor. If you're drinking alcohol it has to be salt!

Rei: Well, I don't drink...

Miri: It's not yakitori! It's if you don't give me a treat I'll trick you!

Rei: Trick? ...Why?

Miri: I'm a monster! I'm scary!

Kazuki: OH! You mean trick or treat!

Miri: That's right! Trick or treat!

Rei: Is that a secret phrase for a discount?

Kazuki: Mmm, just forget about the izakaya for now.

Kazuki: I see! So it's almost halloween? Oh right, I feel like we got a flier from Anna-sensei saying something about halloween... Umm... I think it was around here...

*searches for flier and pulls it out*

Kazuki: Oh here it is! Umm, let's see... "Once again our preschool is holding a parent and child halloween event with the chamber of commerce."

Rei: A parent and child event?

Miri: I want to be the best monster!

********************

Kyuutarou: I believe that Miri's preschool and the chamber of commerce hold this halloween event every year.

Kazuki: Hmm. I had no idea!

Rei: Kyuu-chan, what do the parents and children that participate do?

Kyuutarou: The parents take the kids dressed in costumes around to the different shops on main street. Then they normally say-

Miri: Trick or Treat!! If you don't give me a treat I'll trick you!

Kyuutarou: Oh, so scary! Here you go, a treat.

Miri: Yay! Thank you! *Eats candy and squeals in delight*

Kyuutarou: That's how they get treats. Though that's a bit too simple of an example. The children have to trick the adults in safe ways and then the adults give them treats. The parents escort them as they do that.

Rei: I see.

Kazuki: So... Miri wants to be the best monster at that event...?

Miri: Yeah! I was talking with Taiga-kun at preschool and...

Kazuki: Taiga-kun!? The kid who was with you at the zoo? Huh? What is this? Are you talking with Taiga-kun all the time now? I haven't heard about that...!

Rei: Kazuki... your eyes are scary.

Kyuutarou: And what you're saying and doing is cringy.

Kazuki: Guh, it's fine, isn't it? I'm a first year father so I'm sensitive!

Kyuutarou: Enough, just listen to what Miri is saying.

Miri: Listen to me!

Kazuki: Oh, sorry, Miri. So...? What were you talking about with Taiga-kun?

Miri: Taiga-kun and the other boys, they said if someone scares a lot of adults they'll get a lot of candy so they're having a competition to see who can be the best monster and get a whole bunch of candy! I'm gonna compete too!

Rei: Kazuki, translate.

Kazuki: Uh... well... all I got was she wants to compete...

Kyuutarou: In this event they get more candy depending on the quality of their costumes and tricks. So in other words, it's a competition to see who can get the most candy from scaring the adults, isn't it?

Kazuki: I see... it does seem like the type of competition that brat would come up with.

Rei: She can get a lot of candy, huh? Miri...

Miri: What?

Rei: If you get a lot of candy would you share it with me?

Miri: Ehh...?

Kazuki: Hey! Don't mooch off a child!

Rei: Ever since Miri got here all the candy has disappeared from our place.

Kazuki: Yeah, for Miri's health. Because if I left them around, you and Miri would just eat them all and not eat dinner.

Rei: Sometimes I just want to stuff myself with them like I used to.

Kazuki: Are you a kid?

Kyuutarou: They're already graduated, but the best monster from last year got enough candy to last 3 months.

Rei: 3 months!?

Kazuki: You can get that much?!

Miri: How much is 3 months?

Kazuki: Uh? ...It means you wouldn't run out even if you ate them every day.

Miri: That much?! Then I can give you a few, Rei-papa.

Rei: Huh? Really?

Miri: Yeah!

***********************

Kyuutarou: You're free to participate however you want, but what are you going to do?

Kazuki: Hmm... Well, we can't laugh in the face of that much candy... but most importantly...

Kyuutarou: Most importantly?

Kazuki: I need to put some FEAR into Taiga-kun so much he won't talk to Miri so freely anymore...

Kyuutarou: Huh?

Kazuki: Okay, Miri! If we're doing this we need to give it our all! We just need to scare people, right? We'll make you the most terrifying preschooler in the shipping district!

Rei: Yeah.

Miri: Huh? I want to be the best monster though!

Kazuki: Yeah, that. So it's decided! Let's go home and have a planning meeting!

Rei: As much candy as I can eat!

Kazuki: Let's go!

Rei: As much as I can eat...

Miri: Ah! Wait, papa!

Kyuutarou: Miri-chan, if you run into any problems you can talk to me about it anytime, okay?

Miri: Yeah! Thank you, Kyuu-chan! Bye! Kazuki-papa! Rei-papa!

*Door closes*

Kyuutarou: *Sigh* Will they be okay?

*********************

Miri: I'm home!

Kazuki: Miri! Remember you have to wash your hands and gargle when you get home!

Miri: Okay! Turtle, mountain, wolf, bike vroom vroom vroom! (names for hand positions to remember how to wash your hands well https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzsqynHMwlg)

Kazuki: Now then...

Rei: What should we do for the trick?

Kazuki: Well, it seems like a trick that scares people would be good, but... Miri!

Miri: Yes?

Kazuki: What kind of trick are you thinking about doing? Try and show us!

Miri: Okay! Towel... a white bath towel... Ah! Here's one!

Rei: A towel? What's she going to use it for?

Miri: Put it over my head and.... Wah... I can't see...!

Kazuki: Eh? Hey, Miri... Are you okay?

Miri: I'm a monster!

Kazuki: Huh?

Miri: If you make me angry I'm scary! If you don't go to sleep I'll take you to the monster world!

Rei: I see... So she's that white thing from the picture books?

Miri: Was I scary?

Kazuki: Oh... yeah! You were very scary! But to be the best you might need to make a bit more of an impact...

Miri: Oh... I'll go put the towel back...

Kazuki: She needs a little more of an impact... Rei, do you have any ideas? Something to make them scared stiff and then start doling out the candy?

Rei: Make them scared stiff... and then dole it out...?

*Pulls out gun*

Rei: If you don't want there to be gunshots then give me all your red hots!

Kazuki: No! Nope! That's completely out! That's even scarier than a monster! You're going to get the authorities called.

Rei: Oh... what about you?

Kazuki: Well, unlike a shut in like you, I've experienced Halloween before, but...

Rei: But?

Kazuki: Adult halloweens costs money... Last year Carol and the others were dressed up and they wrung me out until I was completely broke! But despite that... there were no tricks! Such tough times!

Rei: Don't tell Miri about that...

Kazuki: It's not like I would!

Miri: Tell me too!

Kazuki: Ah! It's nothing! It's nothing! But don't just start shouting out of nowhere!

Miri: Did I scare you? Was that a good trick?

Kazuki: Huh? Hmm... that's right... I guess we gotta start with the best way to scare someone...?

Rei: Did you think of something?

Kazuki: Well... we still have time until Halloween... So how about this? We each try to trick each other?

Rei: So you mean I trick you and you trick me?

Kazuki: That's right. And then whoever tricks the person the best, or makes the person say "Wah!" the loudest is what Miri will do at the event! What do you think?

Rei: It sounds kinda annoying.

Kazuki: Don't be like that! You want candy don't you?

Rei: I do.

Miri: Me too! I want to try too!

Kazuki: Yeah sure. But it's not like you'd be able to scare us, Miri.

Rei: What's the time frame?

Kazuki: Well we'll need a few days to prepare before halloween... So how about for a week starting tomorrow?

Rei: Okay. Miri... try your best too.

Miri: Yeah!

Kazuki: Then we start tomorrow!

Rei/Miri: Yeah!

************************

Kazuki: Okay, it's done! Miri, Rei, come over here.

Rei: What?

Miri: Wah! Cupcakes? Why?

Kazuki: We had too much of some of the ingredients so I thought I should use them up. This one's for you, Miri. And Rei gets the adult version.

Rei: Adult version?

Kazuki: Come on, just eat it.

Miri: Okay! Itadakimasu!

Rei: Itadakimasu.

Kazuki: I got you! Miri's is a custard cream cupcake but Rei's is filled with super spicy sauce! I looked up tricks that were sure to work on the internet!

Miri: Mmm! It's so sweet and yummy!

Kazuki: Right? What about your's, Rei? How is it?

Rei: *Eating* Hm? Ah... It tastes different than I expected, but...

Kazuki: Huh? What's with that normal reaction? Don't you prefer sweet things? Hold on, let me try it.

Kazuki: *Eats some and spits it out*

Kazuki: Miri! Water! Give me water!

Miri: Water? Are you thirsty?

Kazuki: Just give it to me! Hurry!

Miri: Okay!

*Kazuki gulps water*

Kazuki: AHH! So spicy! I got carried away and put in too much!

Rei: What? Was this supposed to be a trick?

Kazuki: Man, why are you fine?

Rei: I guess because I had training to prepare me for being tortured where they gave me poisons and other irritants?

Kazuki: Oh, I see. No wait! How could you have had special training!? That's not helpful to us! Next!

*************************

Kazuki: I'm home! When buying ingredients for 3 people, shopping is nothing to laugh at. Rei! Come help me! Rei! Is he playing games again? Damn it!

Rei: Ah Ahhh...

Kazuki: Hm?

Rei: Ah ah ah ahh...

Kazuki: What are you just saying "Ah ah ah ahh?" and you're moving slowly... are you hungry?

Rei: Ahh...

Kazuki: If you just keep saying "ahh" I can't understand!

Rei: Zombie.

Kazuki: Huh?

Rei: I was trying to be a zombie...

Kazuki: Ohh... as a trick? I see. Yeah. You normally have dead eyes anyway so I didn't notice at all. Sorry.

Rei: Next.

**************************

Miri: I'm home!

Rei: I'm home... I picked up Miri-

*popping sound*

Rei: An attack!

*Rei pulls out gun and shoots*

Kazuki: Wah! Stop, stop!

Rei: Oh, it's just you, Kazuki?

Kazuki: Don't give me that! It was just crackers!

Rei: It's a rule that if you hear gunshots you have to counter attack!

Kazuki: Of course you've had special training for that!

Miri: *Giggles* It's just like Christmas! Aren't the popping sounds fun?!

Kazuki: Next!

********************

Kazuki: Hey, Rei? Why are you lighting candles in the dark...? What are you planning?

Rei: A trick.

Kazuki: Huh?

Rei: It was late one night.

Kazuki: Well, something's starting...?

Rei: My best friend and I were riding our motorcycles along a coastal road when I happened to stop at a bus stop for a break. There I saw 3 jizo statues in a row... When I glanced at them... I noticed one of them didn't have a head. When I looked around, I saw the head had fallen to the ground. I picked up the head, put it on top of the jizo, and got back on my bike.

Kazuki: Rei... Rei-san? What are you muttering about?

Rei: I then started having these weird feelings. I was thinking "my back feels weirdly heavy...", "I didn't like this..." "it's cold...", "This is weird...", "I'm scared! I'm scared..." when I heard a ding dong from an unexpected visitor. When I looked at the intercom's monitor... the man there claimed to be the head priest from the temple located right next to the bus stop where the jizo was located. With a pale face, he opened his mouth and said "Are you the one who put the head on top of the jizo?!" Then he kept muttering the same thing over and over, "You can't leave the head on the jizo. You can't leave the head on the jizo. " I thought it was suspicious so I opened the door but the priest wasn't there. I started to feel creeped out so I tried to call my best friend but I wasn't able to get in contact with him... Right when the head priest showed up... he was riding along the coastal road and got in an accident. He died instantly... When I asked about the person he got in the accident with, it was the priest who came to my door. Hey... Kazuki.

Kazuki: Huh?

Rei: When are you going to scream?

Kazuki: Well the part that made me want to shout the most was the introductory part where you were cruising around with this nonexistent best friend! It's fine to tell a scary story but at least make a believable setting.

Rei: Ahh...

Kazuki: And this is halloween! Don't just mix in random Japanese things like jizo and head priests! They don't really go together!

Rei: I see... so that's the problem?

Kazuki: Damn, and going to all that trouble to set the scene. Where exactly do you expect to find a somber looking preschooler telling ghost stories on halloween like this?!

*****************************

Miri: *Quietly singing*

Kazuki: How's Miri?

Rei: She's singing in her sleep.

Kazuki: I see... *Sigh* We've tried to do so many different tricks...

Rei: Halloween is hard...

Kazuki: Well, now that I think about it we are assassins... I don't really know where the line for scary is for normal people...

Rei: Is there anything that makes you scared, Kazuki?

Kazuki: Hmm... The face Kyuu-chan makes when we mess up a job...?

Rei: That... yeah... it's scary.

Kazuki: Since this is a request from Miri I assumed it would be easy but... this mission is much harder than our normal ones.

Rei: We won't be able to make Miri the best at this rate...

Kazuki: Ugh!! Why can't we come up with any good ideas!? We just need a halloween trick that Miri would be able to do that would still be slightly scary even to us!

*Phone buzzing*

Rei: Kazuki, phone.

Kazuki: Huh? Huh?? Sheep? Ugh... Hello?

Mary: Hello. Right now... I'm in front of your dumpster.

Kazuki: Huh?

*Phone hangs up*

Rei: Who was it?

Kazuki: Well... I don't really know...? Maybe it was a wrong number?

*Phone buzzing*

Kazuki: No... they're calling again...

Kazuki: Hello?

Mary: Hello. I'm Mary-san. Right now I'm in front of your elevator.

*Phone hangs up*

Kazuki: Eh? What was that?

*Phone buzzing*

Kazuki: Hm?? Ugh! Hello! Who is this? Don't you have the wrong number?!

Mary: Hello. Right now... I'm in front of your door.

Kazuki: No, I asked who you ar-...

*Doorbell rings*

Kazuki: Eh?

Rei: Who would be here so late?

Mary: Hello... I'm... Mary-san. I'm a doll that a girl called Miri threw away once. At that time... I lost an arm and a leg then... so I came to get them.

*Doorbell rings*

Mary: Open up. Give me back my arm and leg!

Kazuki: *Gulps* Your arm and leg? I've never heard about this from Mir-...

Mary: If you wont give them back... I'm fine with your arms and legs too.

*Doorbell rings*

Rei: Kazuki... is this an attack?

Kazuki: Well... they said they're a doll named Mary... who wants her arm and leg back from Miri... and If she doesn't get them back... she's fine with ours...

Rei: A doll? What? So outside is the person who was making that weird phone call...? I'll go look.

Rei: Huh?

Kazuki: What is it, Rei?

Rei: Well... no one is showing up on the monitor.

Kazuki: No one? But it's definitely ringing...

*Phone buzzes*

Kazuki: Ah!

Rei: Another phone call?

Kazuki: I'm gonna answer... Hel-... *door creaks* Eek! Who's there!?

Mary: I'm Marry. Right now... I'm right behind you. So...

Miri: Give me your arms and legs Kazuki-papa and Rei-papa!!

*Kazuki and Rei scream*

Kazuki: Wait... Miri?!

Miri: *Giggles*

Kazuki: Weren't you... sleeping?

Kyuutarou: You're too scared. You're bothering the neighbors.

Kazuki: Kyuu...

Rei: chan...?

*Door opens*

Kazuki: Why?

Kyuutarou/Mary: I'm... Mary-san. When I saw Miri at her preschool, she told me what was happening.

Kyuutarou: And so we decided to try to trick you together.

Miri: Kazuki-papa! Rei-papa! Did we surprise you? Did I do good? Were you scared?!

Kyuutarou: It seems like it went well. As proof of that they both made cute screams, didn't they?

Kazuki: Kyuuuu-chaaaaaan!

Rei: Kyuu-chan really is the most scary!

**************************

People: Trick or treat!

Kyuutarou: Kazuki, how long are you going to pout?

Kazuki: Of course I'm pouting... since Miri secretly did a trick with you!

Kyuutarou: It seems that Miri was lonely since you guys were just messing around and ignoring her. Since it's your daughter's event you need to make sure to think about it with her as the focus.

Kazuki: Ugh... Sorry...

Kyuutarou: Here.

Kazuki: I didn't order a coffee though?

Kyuutarou: It's to say I'm sorry. I've been reflecting on it too. Since I never thought assassins like you would be so scared.

*Kazuki sighs and drinks*

Kazuki: It seems even more bitter than normal... But why did you help Miri, anyway? Was it to pick on us for messing up so many jobs recently?

Kyuutarou: That was part of it.

Kazuki: Wah! It was?!

Kyuutarou: Since I've known about your situation with Miri, you've been coming to my shop with her a lot, haven't you?

Kazuki: Huh? Ah... like on our way home from preschool or to pick up information about our jobs from you...?

Kyuutarou: Miri tells me that the omurice I make is good...

Kazuki: Huh?

Kyuutarou: Isn't that reason enough to help her?

Kazuki: Oh... I see...

Kazuki: Thanks for the coffee. Miri and Rei should be getting here soon.

Kyuutarou: What did you end up deciding on for Miri's costume and trick?

Kazuki: Well, we brushed up your idea for a trick and made Miri a look like a real french dol-...

Lady: *Screams*

Kazuki: Oh... something exciting seems to be happening!

Man: A gangster zombie?!

Kyuutarou: No... rather than exciting...

Kid: Mom! It's a zombie!! I'm scared!!

Kyuutarou: They seem to be screaming...

*Phone rings*

Kyuutarou: Hello?

Mary: I'm Mary-san. Right now I'm in front of your store.

Kyuutarou: Okay, okay. I'll open the door now.

*Opens door*

Miri/Mary: Ahh! Ahh! I'm Mary-san!

Rei: Give your arms and legs... and candy to this girl.

Kyuutarou: Why are you walking around holding Miri, Rei?

Rei: Because Mary-san is missing an arm and a leg.

Kyuutarou: Why is your head covered in blood?

Rei: Because Miri dropped a cake with red sauce she got on the way here on my head.

Miri: Tehe!

Kyuutarou: Why are all of the people in the shopping district running away from you?

Rei: I don't know... I was just walking around normally.

Kazuki: Uhh... have you looked in a mirror? You look much more like a zombie than you realize. I mean, it looks like your head is covered in blood. Your eyes... well they're always dead looking...

Rei: Ahh... but you weren't scared, Kazuki.

Kazuki: Well, I'm used to this. Ah... I see. So you're a bit too scary for the people in this neighborhood...

Miri: Kyuu-chan, did I become the best monster? Am I scary?

Kyuutarou: Huh? Y-yeah... hehe... you're scary. You're scary.

Miri: Yes!

Rei: Kazuki... why is Kyuu-chan all frozen?

Kazuki: Huh? Well, this is just a guess but... I think it's because he didn't expect that the silly thing he did would cause people at this peaceful halloween event to scream... You know because this isn't for realistic costumes or an Osaka theme park... and you look that realistic right now.

Rei: But... we're not getting that much candy for it...

Kazuki: Hmm.... that's probably because it's TOO realistic...

Miri: Trick or treat! Give me a lot of candy, Kyuu-chan!

#Buddy daddies #buddy daddies drama cd #My translation

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