It feels so good, touching himself after days of not. Louis mind blanks and he groans, spreading his thighs a little more and stroking himself slowly. He wonders who'd touch him while he looks like this, if anyone. He wonders if Harry would mind.

The last time he was with Harry - he shouldn't think of it. There's plenty of other things to think about. In fact, somewhere inside him, he knows he doesn't even really deserve to think about Harry like that, not anymore. He forces his brain to flip through other things, to other people.

But it's so dark, and he's alone, and thoughts don't hurt anyone. If he thinks about Harry's deep voice, and pink mouth, and glassy green eyes - it can't hurt him. The last time he was with Harry -

Louis rubs a sliver of skin covered in scales with just the right amount of pressure, and he gasps, arching his back and twisting up into the hand on his cock, his grip tightening as he starts to come.

Louis' dick snaps clean off in his hand.

He's still for a moment, just staring and trying to comprehend what he's looking at. Louis is holding his dick in his hand, for sure, but it's nowhere near attached to his body in any way.

He shrieks and drops it on the bed next to him. It lies there, lifeless. He flicks the lights on to look at it, as if feeling it weren't enough. It looks just like his dick, except it's not on him. Also it's a little too flushed, like it's been dipped in fuchsia food coloring or something. He reaches between his legs where it should be, not wanting to look at himself yet, and he expects there to be a bleeding, gaping wound, since he's apparently just ripped his dick out by the root. There's nothing there, just smooth skin. He forces himself to look. Where his dick should be is just an uneven circle of flesh, a little stump left over where it came off.

U JUST HAD TO BE THE ONE TO BRING THIS UP DIDN'T U!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!! This of course is from my One Direction fanfiction A REPTILE DYSFUNCTION or as it is known colloquially, LOUZARD. A collab with the most talented artist of all time Natalie @rlottery!!!! This story is from 2014 and so much time has passed and we have all been thru so much. By the way I still CANNOT believe this fanfiction is nearly 40k words long.... I was crazy for this one!!!! I'm also in tears because the hit count on this is SOOO low for a LARRY fanfiction.

Ok the premise of this fanfiction is basically that, as a punishment for being a horrible nasty prick bastard, Little Mix puts a spell on Louis in a direct homage to the movie The Craft. The spell causes him to slowly transmorph into a lizard, like he gets scales and lizard eyes and so forth. IT'S AN AU???? Looking back I would have made this canon compliant as it were but that's ok.

I have always really loved to write stories about a character going thru something wild and crazy with their body because the cosmos are trying to push them towards somebody for love (eagle eyed readers will have also spotted this motif in my NARRY fanfiction Baby, I and my IT 2 fanfiction If I'm Butter and some others). Like until you learn to love then your body will life-or-death crave breast milk or it will be stabbed so many times or it will turn into a lizard!! And when I learned that a lizard could snap its tail off and it would grow back I thought, u know what. It would be so funny if Louis' dick and cock snapped off like a lizard's tail. AND IT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!! This mf keeps snapping off his damn weiner so many times he gets a collection of them going and puts them on his windowsill. THE IMAGE OF THIS...... I HELD IT SO CLEARLY IN MY MIND... AND THEY LET ME GO ONLINE AND WRITE IT. He is trying to whack off to thoughts of Harry, but at this point he has not fixed his heart, so he is not allowed. THE COSMOS WON'T ALLOW IT!!!