Blackstar Symphony to Premiere Sept. 16 in North Carolina

- Celebration of David Bowie’s final LP to launch 2023-’24 world tour

David Bowie’s final album is getting the classical treatment.

The Blackstar Symphony’s debut performances are slated for Sept. 16 and 17 in North Carolina with a world tour expected in 2023-’24.

“I love this music, and it is close to my heart,” Donny McCaslin, who played saxophone on the album - stylized as ★ - and serves as artistic director, said in a statement.

“David refused to stay in one musical lane during his long career, playing with different musical styles and creating a musical language all his own. That principle is at work in this program.”

Split in to two acts, the performances will feature a complete revisiting of Blackstar followed by “touchstone(s)” such as ““Heroes,”” “Life on Mars,” “Suffragette City” and “Space Oddity,” per a news release.

Gail Ann Dorsey and Tony Visconti are among the featured musicians and John Cameron Mitchell will sing Bowie’s songs on stage for the premiere.

“I’m thrilled to work with Bowie’s brilliant collaborators to help honor the artist that made me what I am today,” Mitchell said.

8/15/22

Reminiscent (Oneshot)

Fandom: Blackstar Theater Starless

Pairing: No pairing. Featuring Team C.

Warning: Mild angst.

Requested by: White Day gift.

Prompt: Qu crying with Gymnaster Savatieri growing on him

Word Count: 1,636

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The park bathed in the golden glow of the sun's warmth. Bees flitted from bloom to bloom while butterflies pirouetted through the air, weaving intricate patterns amidst the verdant foliage. In a corner garden in the park, Qu sat on a picnic blanket with Hari. The garden pulsated with life, each plant swaying in harmony with the delicate melody of nature's symphony. As Qu reclined on the soft blanket, his gaze wandered to his other team members. 

Zakuro's melodious voice intertwined effortlessly with the rustling of leaves and chirping of the bird. Mokuren meticulously rehearsed the intricate choreography of their upcoming performance, their body flowing like a river guided by the unseen currents of inspiration. Aogiri stood silently, his eyes alight with curiosity and admiration as he absorbed every nuance of Zakuro's performance with rapt attention. Meanwhile, Kasumi observed Mokuren's every step with focused determination. His keen eyes captured the essence of each movement as if etching them into the depths of his memory.

Qu's gaze shifted from his team members to the surrounding greenery and blooms. Amidst the riots of colorful flowers, his golden eyes landed on a regal purple flower that swayed gently in the breeze. A soft smile tugged on Qu's glossed lips as he studied the simple yet captivating blooms. The flowers' beauty resonated with something deep within his soul, but he couldn't quite put a finger on why. Unknown to the tall man, Hari had been studying the curious gleam in Qu's eyes. 

"Do you know the name of that flower?" The green-haired man questioned in a whisper. Qu thought momentarily before gently shaking his head, admitting his ignorance with a humble shrug.

"The name Miyakowasure," Hari began, in a serious but sympathetic voice, "originates from the story of the emperor Juntoku in the Kamakura period. After his defeat in the Jokyu War, the emperor was exiled to Saso Island. He loved Kyoto dearly and couldn't bring himself to forget it. So, he sought solace in the beauty of this flower. Hence, the name "For the sake of forgetting Kyoto."

Qu intently listened as Hari wove the narrative; his words vividly painted the monarch's longing and resignation. The young man couldn't fathom how heavily weighed down the emperor's heart must have felt every time he remembered his beloved capital, Kyoto. The Miyakowasure flower must have truly caught the emperor's attention with its delicate but simple appearance. How could one flower become a poignant symbol of the emperor's desire to escape the shackles of nostalgia and forge a new path amidst the rugged landscapes of exile? Was there something more to the tale?

Regardless, Qu was moved by the story and felt a swell of empathy wash over him. The king's spirit had shown true resilience in the face of adversity, but why did he feel a strange connection to the king? For a while, Qu closed his eyes, allowing the wind to tenderly caress his cheeks while the fragrance of the blossoms enveloped him like a comforting embrace. In that fleeting moment of tranquility amidst the whispers of a bygone era, Qu found himself lost in his own memories.

When the seeds are planted, the sensation can evoke discomfort.

“Mommy? Where are you? Don’t leave me.”

Qu stirred from his slumber with a whisper. The words hung in the air, laden with a palpable sense of longing and fear. His small form was cocooned in an embrace of silk sheets and plush pillows, and his large, tear-filled eyes scanned the bedroom until he saw Maica stirring from his slumber beside him.

“Qu? What’s wrong?” Maica’s soft and sleepy voice cut through the lingering words of fear, giving Qu a beacon of light in the darkness he had experienced in his dream. Reaching over, the pink-haired child patted his friend’s back. They were only children, but they understood each other, and the bond transcended that of blood ties; it was a bond forged by shared experience and unwavering brotherly love.

The discomfort intensifies as the shell fractures and the initial sprout emerges.

With a steely resolve born of necessity, Qu made the difficult decision to leave behind the comforts of Maica's home, determined to carve out a path of his own making, free from the burden of dependency. Despite Maica’s protests, Qu embarked on a daunting journey, his heart heavy with the weight of newfound responsibility and the specter of uncertainty looming on the horizon. The luxuries of maids and butlers were now replaced by the harsh reality of survival in a society where every step was fraught with challenge and adversity.

Even then, Qu refused to back down and sought odd jobs wherever he could. In the middle of the relentless grind of daily toil, Qu could not shake the gnawing ache of homesickness that tugged at his heartstrings with each passing day. The contrast between his former life of privilege and the stark reality of his present circumstances weighed heavily upon Qu's soul. And yet, despite the pain and hardship that overwhelmed him, Qu remained steadfast in his resolve. He was determined to prove his worth and forge a future that was uniquely his own.

As the sprout ascends, the pain intensifies; delicate stems emerge from Qu's skin, a torment known only to the initiated. Tears betray him, nurturing the blooms of his inner anguish.

Qu navigated the dark waters of the drag industry, but the harsh glare of competition cast shadows on his dreams. The relentless grind of the job, coupled with cutthroat competition and unnecessary drama, weighed heavily on his spirit. Yet, amidst the glittering façade of sequins and stilettos, his true passion burned brightly, and he yearned to express himself beyond the confines of the ramp. But when Mokuren stormed out after a heated altercation with one of the other drag queens, a spark of hope ignited in Qu’s heart. Without hesitation, Qu followed Mokuren out of the shadow and onto a new but uncertain journey.

As the purple flower buds blossom along the stems, the cascade of tears only intensifies.

Joining Starless was a dream come true for Qu, an opportunity to express himself on stage through acting and dancing freely. However, as he delved deeper into this new chapter of his life, he quickly realized that things were far from normal within the confines of the theater's glittering walls. From the moment he became a cast member, Qu was ensnared in a web of tension and pressure. Haseyama’s constant demands, insults, and threats of expulsion hung over Qu’s head like a dark cloud.

Then came the fans, a magnet of fervent fangirls and fanboys whose adoration sometimes bordered on obsession. Their antics range from harmless adulation to intrusive invasion of Qu’s personal space and private life. Their relentless pursuit of his attention only added to the mounting pressure that Qu struggled to navigate. As if that wasn’t enough, the tangled web of drama and conflict among the cast members was exhausting. Egos clashed, and tempers flared behind the scenes, with each member vying for their moment in the spotlight and an increase in their paycheck. Between this endless chaos, Qu was expected to maintain an intense work schedule, juggling rehearsals, performances, and floor and cleaning duties.

As the Miyakowasure flowers burst into bloom, the pain lingers relentlessly, refusing to dissipate. Qu's tears mingle with the blossoms sprouting from his skin.

“I am creating a new team and want you to join it.”

Qu stood at a crossroads when Mokuren extended the offer to join a new team they planned to create. Despite his reservations and lingering guilt over leaving Team P, the prospect of forging a new path with Mokuren was tantalizing. Which was more important, to explore new possibilities or remain loyal to his former team? For once, Qu took a decision for himself, and with a leap of faith, he joined Mokuren to establish Team C. Their collaboration sparked a blaze of creativity and success that surpassed even their wildest dreams. Yet, Qu was plagued by a lingering sense of displacement. As days turned to weeks and weeks into months, Qu navigated the labyrinthine corridors of his own psyche, searching for answers to questions that seemed to slip through his fingers like grains of sand.

The simple act of raising your head instead of bowing it low can make all the difference.

Mokuren’s inclination to push them beyond their limits grew with each day. The hours were long, the demands relentless, and the pay meager at best. Some fans treated him as a possession rather than a human, and their demands encroached on his autonomy, while Haseyama constantly meddled in their affairs. Among the chaos of Starless, Qu found reassurance when he realized he was not alone through his struggles as his teammates were standing steadfastly by his side. Even though they didn’t share the same closeness as Team B, Mokuren, Hari, Kasumi, Zakuro, and Aogiri were sailing through the same storm in the same vessel alongside him.

Embrace your journey, acknowledging the past without dwelling on it, for that is the sole path to moving forward. 

Qu’s eyes fluttered open, their gleam reminiscent of gold shimmering in the sunlight as he fixed his gaze on the delicate Gymnaster Savatieri flowers. After a moment of contemplation, he turned his head to Hari.

“Somewhere in the king's heart, he knew that he could never truly forget his beloved capital,” Qu softly said, his words measured and thoughtful. “That’s why the flower has the name of the very thing the king wanted to escape from – Kyoto. I am no one to look back on history and judge a king. But maybe if the king had embraced his past rather than constantly trying to forget it, the burden of his pain would have been lighter.” 

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➣ BlackStar Theater Starless Masterlists [1][2][3][4]

➣ Main Masterlist

➣ Buy me a Ko-fi? ➣ Commission: Open  ➣ HC/Scenario Requests: Open || Quick Ask Requests: Closed || GIF Requests: Closed

tell me your fave moment of 2024 thus far

this is so hard!!!! idk i’ll say this weekend was fucking cool i visited my best friend and we went and saw david bowie’s blackstar performed by the seattle symphony with john cameron mitchell, then i got them to watch hedwig and the angry inch for the first time, then we marathoned the twilight movies. and i love my friend so dearly it broke my heart to leave them!

i might have an overall better answer but this is what’s fresh in my mems!

FITF events in record stores across Italy

Pistelli e Bartolucci a FERRARA

Dischi Volanti a VERONA

Dischinpiazza a MODENA

Angolo della Musica Srl a UDINE

Semm Music Store & More a BOLOGNA

Disc Jockey a CREMONA

Musicatelli a PORDENONE

Casa Musicale Ancona ad ANCONA

Discorso a SACILE (PN)

Mondo Musica a CASALGRANDE (RE)

Musical Box a BESOZZO (VA)

De Santi Snc a CASTELFRANCO VENETO (TV)

Casa Del Disco a MESTRE (VE)

Indie a TREVISO (TV)

Frigerio a COMO

Flexi a LUGO (RA)

Filmusica di Branco Stefano a VALDAGNO (VI)

Varese Dischi Sas a VARESE

Sky Stone And Songs Sas a LUCCA

Cory Music Vieri n. & c. ad AREZZO,

Symphony Di Palomba Fabrizio a LIVORNO

disco shop di c.f.l.t.& c. Snc a POGGIBONSI (SI)

Maistrello Musica di M. P. a RIETI

Galleria Del Disco Vernich Fi a FIRENZE

Discoteca Laziale a ROMA

Compact La Dischetteria a MONTEBELLUNA (TV)

Firefly Snc Di Laguardia E Figli a POTENZA

Riva Musica a CATANIA

Disclan Di E. Maysse a SALERNO

Camarillobrillodischi di Silvia Limongiello ad AVELLINO

Messaggerie Sarde a SASSARI

Diamantik di Cantore Michele a MARTINA FRANCA (TA)

Juke Box Sas Di Del Prete-Giordano a CASERTA

Musica E Ricordi ad AOSTA

Muzak Dischi a CUNEO

Exit Music a SAVIGLIANO (CN)

Blackstar s.n.c. Di Costamagna a IMPERIA

Cigna Dischi a BIELLA

Discoclub a GENOVA

Soundgarden a L’AQUILA

Foto Carlo Store a VALLECROSIA (IM)

Ritmi Urbani a SANTA MARIA CAPUA VETERE (CE)

Casa Musicale Niccoli Di Antonella Niccoli & c. sas a PRATO

Disco Shop s.r.l. a LECCO

Pinto srl a BRESCIA

Gabbia srl a PADOVA

Perfect Vinyl Music Store a VALENZA (AL)

Cd Club Entertainment a REGGIO CALABRIA

Top Dischi a BENVENTO

Idee Musicali Roma a ROMA

Calboli Dischi a FORLÌ.

Link for all info

[ BLACK MASS @ PANDEMONIO || 0 3 . 1 2 . 2 3 ] SUZE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY

Rob Zombie - Pussy Liquor (KI: Theory Remix) Komor Kommando - Moldavia Curses - Vysota Damascus Knives - Would You Feel Safer If You Carried a Gun? Siouxsie and the Banshees - Cities in Dust (Facets Edit) Pixel Grip - ALPHAPUSSY Sex Kini - Scream in the City (Cabizbajo Remix) Djedjotronic - Pleasure & Pain (Club Mix) Nuit Decadente vs Gameboyz - Enjoy the Silence Qntal - Veni (Filthy Floor Mix) The Cruxshadows - Helios Skold - Bloodsport Rotersand - War on Error (Declaration) Combichrist vs Benny Benassi - This Shit Will Satisfy Necessary Response - Forever Ayria - Missed the Mark (Project Pitchfork Mix) And One - Fur Immer Apoptygma Berzerk - Nonstop Violence Combichrist - Happy Fcuking Birthday Suicide Commando - Hellraiser (Agonoize Remix) Switchblade Symphony - Dollhouse (DJ RiB Mix) Umo Detic - Fahrenheit (WLDV Edit) Babes of Enola Gray - Freiheit Sicherheit (Curses Remix) Simi Nah - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) Nitzer Ebb - Let Your Body Learn (UR Service Version) Corlyx - Raindrops HEALTH - Blue Monday Celldweller - Blackstar (Sebastian Komor Remix) Endanger - Blood Red Roses NIN vs Faderhead - 69 Freaks Closer Bring me the Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart (Aesthetic Perfection Mix) Marilyn Manson - Dope Show (Phaszed Mix) Aeon Rings - Pale Blue Leathers - Missing Scene FreqGen - Future 1990 (Sebastian Komor Remix) KMFDM - Liquor Fish and Cigarettes VNV Nation vs Daft Punk - When Will We Get Lucky in the Future? Night Club - Vampires Helium Vola - Omnis Mundi Creatura And One - Wet Spot Vanguard - Ragnarok SITD - Atemlos Aesthetic Perfection - Rhythm + Control Dance or Die - Dance or Die (Solitary Experiments Mix) Mechanical Moth - Black Queen Style Accessory - She Says It Feels Good Sebastian Komor ft Lis Van Den Akker - Electric Avenue Komor Kommando - Shrapnel Combichrist - Throat Full of Glass (Computer Club Vocal Remix) SITD - The Devil’s Tongue L’ame Imortelle - Tiefster Winter (Zeromancer Mix) William Control - The Monster Apoptygma Berzerk - Until the End of the World (Ladytron De-Shape) Blutengel - Send Me an Angel VNV Nation - Gratitude Lords of Acid - I Sit On Acid

#Uncool500 and #Top2000

Every year, many thousands of listeners to NPO Radio 2 vote for their favourite songs. The station puts together a big list, 2000 songs long, and plays them out in that quiet period between kerstmas and nieuwjaarsdag. There are a lot of listeners, and the number one is usually "Bohemian rhapsody" or "Stairway to heaven" or something like that.

I think it would be interesting to take the Uncool 500 (as voted by about ninety people on Music Twitter on the Isles Trans-Manche: the full chart is in parts 1 2 3). Take the Uncool 500 and compare it with the NPO 2000 (as voted by everyone in the Netherlands). Voting for both surveys took place during October and November.

So I've taken the 2022 top 2000, and stripped out everything dated 1976 or earlier (as those songs weren't eligible for the Uncool 500). There's still over 1500 songs left.

The number 1 amongst post-1977 songs is "Roller coaster" by Danny Vera, from 2019. It's a soaring ballad, a very strong song, and it hit right to the heart for the Dutch public. A song you've almost certainly never heard.

It’s a song they've never tried to make a hit this side of the channel. The next songs were "Hotel California" by The Eagles, "Fix you" by Coldplay, "Black" by Metallica, "Avond" by Boudewijn de Groot, and "Nothing else matters" by Metallica.

(What's with the Boudewijn de Groot song? Good question, it was a spectacular flop when released in ‘97 but now hits a chord with the Dutch. I don't understand why.)

The NPO list gets a lot of love from the rock and metal fans - Guns 'n' Roses, Queen, Dire Straits, Pink Floyd, AC/DC, all have big fanbases, all get into the top 40.

"Go your own way" is the first song to appear in both lists - 18 on NPO, 81 on Uncool. Then comes "Smells like teen spirit" (NPO 23, Uncool 9) and The Cure’s "A forest" (NPO 70, Uncool 27). Don’t think BBC Radio 2 viewers would vote “A forest” to number 70...

There's a crossover run from NPO 35-38: "In the air tonight", "Hurt" by Johnny Cash, "Killing in the name", and "Shallow" by Lady Gaga (Uncools 255, 219, 139, 254). "Running up that hill" is NPO's 40, our 214. "Creep" and "Lose yourself" both made the NPO top 50.

Turns out that 134 songs appear in both lists, which is somewhat more than I'd expected. Here's the complete list, ordered by the Uncool 500 position.

Song Performer Uncool 500 NPO 2000 I feel love Donna Summer 1 417 Common people Pulp 2 1260 Blue Monday New Order 4 349 Love will tear us apart Joy Division 6 425 Unfinished sympathy Massive Attack 7 440 Wuthering Heights Kate Bush 8 80 Smells like teen spirit Nirvana 9 23 When doves cry Prince 10 365 Once in a lifetime Talking Heads 14 743 Tainted love Soft Cell 17 876 Ashes to ashes David Bowie 22 763 Sign 'o' the times Prince 23 639 Born slippy (nuxx) Underworld 24 286 West end girls Pet Shop Boys 28 1301 Life's what you make it Talk Talk 29 943 Firestarter The Prodigy 32 682 Ace of spades Motörhead 34 207 Teardrop Massive Attack 37 500 Like a prayer Madonna 38 738 Motorcycle emptiness Manic Street Preachers 40 855 Glory box Portishead 41 914 Enjoy the silence Depeche Mode 42 87 Always on my mind Pet Shop Boys 43 1314 Two tribes Frankie Goes to Hollywood 45 1360 London Calling The Clash 47 922 Come on Eileen Sexist Midnight Runners and the Emerald Express 58 765 Take on me A-ha 59 266 Heart of glass Blondie 63 1041 Sound and vision David Bowie 65 747 Sabotage The Beastie Boys 67 643 Relax Frankie Goes to Hollywood 68 1377 A forest The Cure 70 27 Hey ya! Outkast 75 1304 Blackstar David Bowie 76 1368 Go your own way Fleetwood Mac 81 18 Smalltown boy Bronski Beat 84 513 G'd save the queen Sex Pistols 87 1274 Cloudbusting Kate Bush 95 330 Bittersweet symphony The Verve 97 84 Video games Lana del Rey 105 342 Golden Brown The Stranglers 111 376 The whole of the moon The Waterboys 113 311 Billie Jean Michael Jackson 114 101 Nothing compares 2 u Sinéad O'Connor 117 282 I bet you look good on the dancefloor Arctic Monkeys 124 423 One more time Daft Punk 125 1017 Knowing me knowing you ABBA 128 581 Crazy in love Beyoncé 134 1512 Everybody wants to rule the world Tears For Fears 135 206 Love like blood Killing Joke 138 745 Killing in the name Rage Against the Machine 139 37 Fast car Tracy Chapman 140 218 Tinseltown in the rain The Blue Nile 141 686 Out of space The Prodigy 143 1351 The man with the child in his eyes Kate Bush 144 167 Close to me The Cure 146 800 Uncertain smile The The 155 1081 Back to black Amy Winehouse 157 58 Save a prayer Duran Duran 165 1084 Enola Gay Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark 166 1222 Take me out Franz Ferdinand 170 587 Wonderful life Black 178 1393 Losing my religion REM 179 83 Live forever Oasis 182 1284 September Earth, Wind and Fire 184 153 Kiss Prince and the Revolution 190 1095 It's a sin Pet Shop Boys 192 1102 Stan Eminem 194 184 Uptown funk Mark Ronson ft Bruno Mars 203 608 Everlong Foo Fighters 204 127 Shout Tears For Fears 207 811 Life's what you make it Talk Talk 209 853 Living in another world Talk Talk 212 1232 Running up that hill Kate Bush 214 40 Under pressure Queen 215 51 Sowing the seeds of love Tears For Fears 216 1044 Hurt Johnny Cash 219 36 Baker Street Gerry Rafferty 225 543 Vogue Madonna 233 1456 The winner takes it all ABBA 241 97 Paranoid android Radiohead 245 329 Blank space Taylor Swift 250 1168 Bad romance Lady Gaga 252 905 Shallow Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper 254 38 In the air tonight Phil Collins 255 35 Zombie The Cranberries 257 91 The logical song Supertramp 272 243 The reflex Duran Duran 275 1059 Our house Madness 277 759 Fake plastic trees Radiohead 278 907 Walk this way Run-DMC & Aerosmith 284 1378 Sweet dreams (are made of this) Eurythmics 289 355 Take a chance on me ABBA 303 501 One U2 309 71 Praise you Fatboy Slim 310 1403 New year's day U2 313 475 All I want is you U2 315 786 Solsbury Hill Peter Gabriel 318 263 Somebody told me The Killers 320 991 Blinding lights The Weeknd 326 129 Because the night Patti Smith Group 334 1288 No-one knows Queens of the Stone Age 341 221 Crazy Gnarls Barkley 344 1189 99 Luftballons Nena 345 276 Basket case Green Day 349 290 Street spirit (fade out) Radiohead 354 150 Lose yourself Eminem 362 47 Man on the moon REM 364 739 Mad world Tears For Fears 374 1434 9 to 5 Dolly Parton 383 673 Lovely day Bill Withers 384 1020 Food for thought UB40 389 1273 The way it is Bruce Hornsby and the Range 395 1126 Poison Bell Biv Devoe 398 275 Ordinary world Duran Duran 401 634 The final countdown Europe 403 451 Every little thing she does is magic The Police 420 671 Back in black AC/DC 421 236 Luka Suzanne Vega 422 1253 Mr blue sky Electric Light Orchestra 426 54 Creep Radiohead 431 43 Sledgehammer Peter Gabriel 435 1072 Nightswimming REM 436 457 Absolute beginners David Bowie 438 884 Dog days are over Florence + the Machine 441 1001 You oughta know Alanis Morissette 443 911 What a fool believes Doobie Brothers 446 1305 No diggity Blackstreet 463 1469 California love 2Pac 464 843 Toxic Britney Spears 474 1522 Get lucky Daft Punk 479 844 You want it darker Leonard Cohen 483 756 Texas sun Khruangbin & Leon Bridges 493 1024 Chandelier Sia 497 537

NPO Radio 2's Top 2000 continues until 31 december. The station is broadly similar to BBC Radio 2, though there's no equivalent of the Jeremy Vine show.

Music Twitter might also be interested in NPO 3fm, it combines the contemporary bits of BBC 6 Music and the pop sensibilities of Radio 1.

Readers after higher culture might like to know about NPO Radio 4, almost entirely classical. My strong preference is VRT's Klara, a sprightly mixture of classical, modern, jazz, world and Other Stuff.

Diggin' Gimbab Records - 만동 Mandong https://youtu.be/454qumZoRqY Diggin' Gimbab Records에서는 음악가와 음악관계자들이 김밥레코즈 매장을 방문하여 음반(음악)과 취향에 대해 이야기합니다. 스무 번째 게스트: 만동 Mandong 만동이 추천하는 음반 리스트: 01:46 Thundercat / It Is What It Is 03:50 David Bowie / Blackstar 05:58 E.S.T. Symphony / E.S.T. Symphony 07:41 John Zorn (Bill Frisell, Marc Ribot, Tim Sparks) / Masada Anniversary Edition Vol. 1: Masada Guitars 09:35 Keith Jarrett / The Melody At Night, With You 만동의 음악이 궁금하시다면: http://gimbabrecords.com/product/search.html?view_type=&supplier_code=&category_no=&keyword=%EB%A7%8C%EB%8F%99&x=0&y=0 Follow us! https://www.instagram.com/gimbabrecor... https://twitter.com/gimbabrecords​​ https://m.facebook.com/GimbabRecords/​​ *방역 수칙을 준수하여 촬영을 진행했습니다. * 총괄 기획: 김려린 촬영 및 편집: 정제현 영어 자막: 도규원 타이틀 디자인: 정효진 Gimbab Records

I Like Your Laugh - A SquirrelCrow AU - Chapter 22.

Feathertail didn’t move once, save for the gentle hold of her tail on Squirrelpaw’s back, as the apprentice cried into her chest. The cat let her friend release her swelling emotions, keeping close all the while until Squirrelpaw was ready to let go.

That wouldn’t be so soon.

Squirrelpaw didn’t think she had the heart to step away, lest it make her wake up to the bleak forest she could not call her home. Just a moment ago, it looked like Squirrelpaw had lost all the friends she had learnt to love. She had already lost Feathertail once, she couldn’t lose her again. Her nose nuzzled deeper, her smile broadening as Feathertail’s purr rumbled over her small body.

“It’s alright, Squirrelpaw.” Feathertail mewed. Her voice seemed to echo in starstruck ripples across the air. It felt nice; like a smooth stroke over Squirrelpaw’s back. “I’m not going to disappear if you let go.”

The chirp, sweet and strong, could have only been made by her.

Squirrelpaw didn’t step back, but she looked up. Feathertail was still there. Her blue eyes glimmered impossibly. Every part of her from her fleecy soft tail to the glorious shine of her silver fur was as real as could be here. Squirrelpaw smiled, blinking away a few soft teardrops. “I missed you so much.” She said, pressing her cheek against Feathertail’s chest again for good measure.

She missed feeling like this. So happy. So comforted. It had been so long.

“I know. I missed you too.” Squirrelpaw felt a smooth tongue brush comfortingly over her ear. “I’m so glad you’re safe.”

Despite the familiar love in that voice, Squirrelpaw’s chest overturned.

Safe.

That was what Feathertail should have been as well. Squirrelpaw bit her lip as the sting of realisation racked in her skull. Even if she could smell and feel Feathertail here, the blunt, cruel voice of reality made itself heard in her head. This wasn’t real. Not for Squirrelpaw anyway. Because she had seen the last remnants of Feathertail in her world. She had buried her beside the cats once called her friends.

The real parts of Feathertail were days away in the shadow of a waterfall. Lost in the memories of a final battle and sacrifice. The casualties of a failed plan.

Squirrelpaw’s failed plan.

The ginger molly’s face burned with painful responsibility. Almost instantly, Feathertail’s purrs ceased. “Squirrelpaw?” She mewed.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I was such a mouse-brain.” Squirrelpaw muttered, disgust strangling her chest. “Thinking that monster wouldn’t realise the prey was poisoned.” She looked up with a forlorn apology in her eyes. “If I had actually thought about things for once…”

“Squirrelpaw…”

“It’s true.” Squirrelpaw meowed, “I was so convinced it would work I didn’t even think about the consequences. And look what happened.”

Only three chosen cats returned.

Crowpaw becoming lifeless with torment.

Riverclan left without a sign.

The blame was clear.

Squirrelpaw’s face fell, feeling how little she deserved to look her friend in the eyes. “You should have come home with us, and now…” The hot drips of tears welled up again. “I’m so sorry, Feather-”

The apprentice flinched as she felt something touch her chin. Squirrelpaw let out a shivering breath as Feathertail gently lifted her face until they were eye to eye. She half expected there to be cold disappointment in that gentle face, a culmination of the hate she deserved.

But Feathertail’s face was the same as always. Kind, warm, worrying.

Squirrelpaw tried to look away, feeling suddenly guilty again, but Feathertail’s paw kept their gazes locked. The silver cat let out a noise that could only be described as glistening. At once, their mystical surroundings seemed to twinkle.

“Squirrelpaw, please don’t be so silly.” Like always, even her scoldings sounded like encouragement. The paw brushed over Squirrelpaw’s dampening eyes. “I didn’t think I’d need to tell you that it wasn’t your fault. What happened that night was already decided long before we met the Tribe. There was nothing that could have been done.”

That did not make Squirrelpaw feel any better. Not when Feathertail still wasn’t with them. “But maybe there was?”

Feathertail shook her head, her smile small. “There wasn’t. It was my destiny to die there, Squirrelpaw.”

Hearing that word was so much more gruelling than Squirrelpaw anticipated. Her eyes closed as she whipped her head feverishly. “No. Your destiny was to save Riverclan. That was what you were chosen for.” She didn’t want to imagine that she couldn’t have saved Feathertail. There had to be some way.

“I thought that as well.” Feathertail said, her eyes glazing. She looked up to the stars for a long moment. “But now I don’t think I was meant to save the clans at all. I told you about the voices I heard the night before we rescued Stormfur.”

Squirrelpaw slowly looked up, vaguely remembering the mention of voices.

Feathertail nodded. “I heard them Squirrelpaw. The ghosts of the Tribe. My own mother’s voice. I didn’t know what it meant at the time.” Her sparkling body seemed to illuminate as her eyes closed. Squirrelpaw watched in awe as colours began to churn above them. The shadowy blue twirled like a hummingbird in flight, its starry wings fluttering and casting aside like soft clouds. Shades of yellow and red awoke in the blue, like chicks chirping for their first feed, before growing beside the dusky colour. Mixing in ways that Squirrelpaw thought were impossible, the misty sky stroked aside and caught itself in an unbelievable symphony of light and dark. Somehow the sky looked stuck between twilight and sunlight.

It was glorious.

Feathertail breathed like she could feel every stream of light in her fur. “But now, I think I understand. The Tribe was why I was chosen, Squirrelpaw. With all of your help, I achieved what I was destined for.” Smiling, Feathertail licked Squirrelpaw’s cheek. “I have my friends to thank for that.”

Squirrelpaw didn’t speak, her mouth ajar, still too amazed by the twisting sky and her friend’s familiar benevolence. She breathed into her dry mouth. “But… But what about Riverclan?” She asked softly.

Feathertail blinked, then a soft grimace took over her mouth. There was a shade of knowing about her. “Riverclan will survive without me.”

Squirrelpaw’s chest began to hurt. The stony face of Leopardstar and the smug cruelty of Hawkfrost stung her memories. “Feathertail.” How was she expected to say this? To say that the leader Feathertail had stood by all her life, even after being betrayed by her as a kit, had treated her sacrifice like nothing. The apprentice swallowed like stones were caught in her throat. “Riverclan said they won’t come with the clans.”

“I know, Squirrelpaw.”

Surprise battered into Squirrelpaw like a falling tree. Feathertail knew? How could she…

“I’ve never left your sides.” Feathertail said, she stepped forward to rub her pelt with the apprentice’s. Squirrelpaw could hear the scratch of pain in her voice. “There hasn’t been a moment where I haven’t been watching over you all. Not once. I’ve seen everything Squirrelpaw, you don’t have to explain what’s happened.”

There was a bizarre sense of relief that crossed Squirrelpaw at that moment. She didn’t need to be the bearer of the terrible news. But when she thought about what Feathertail said, what it meant, she realised just how much Feathertail must have seen.

The destruction of the forest.

The rejection of the leaders.

The breakdown of her friends.

What realisation made way onto the apprentice’s face was enough for Feathertail to wilt in a way that made Squirrelpaw’s head hurt. A sickly feeling seemed to soak in her fur like damp mud. The image of Feathertail watching her clan ignore everything the cats had protested and fought for… “We tried.” The ginger cat said weakly.

“Oh Squirrelpaw.” Feathertail cooed, “There was nothing you could do. It was never going to be easy to convince all the leaders, even if I’d been there with you.” She nudged the molly with a soft paw. “You should be proud! You were able to convince Firestar and Tallstar after all! That’s better than nothing.”

“But it isn’t what we went on the journey for.” Squirrelpaw’s voice was a bitter low. “Every clan is meant to leave. That’s the only way we’ll all keep safe. But Shadowclan and Riverclan…” Squirrelpaw felt her claws clench as she saw Blackstar’s disbelieving snarl and Hawkfrost’s smug sneer. “If only the leaders would listen!”

A disappointed look shivered through Feathertail. “It is a shame that they’re not convinced yet. But you can’t lose hope, Squirrelpaw. I’m sure Tawnypelt and Stormfur will be able to convince the clans.”

“What if they can’t?” Brambleclaw’s question echoed in Squirrelpaw’s lips. “You saw how Blackstar and Leopardstar reacted, right? They won’t listen to a word we say!” Her eyes burst wide open. “Why didn’t we get a sign?” Squirrelpaw cried. “If we had just seen it the leaders could have known we were telling the truth! Where was Starclan when we needed them?” Suddenly hearing her own voice, her throat tightened as she looked around in fear. “Is-Is this Starclan? Or… a dream? Where are we?”

If she had practically cursed Starclan in their own territory it wouldn’t do much good back home. Squirrelpaw bit her lip as she stared at Feathertail frightfully.

Feathertail let out a gentle chuckle, “Don’t worry. I’m sure every cat in the forest is wondering where Starclan are right now?” She began to walk off into the direction of a bright field of flower laced hills, motioning with her tail for Squirrelpaw to follow. The apprentice gladly strolled on beside her, still keeping her head low in case she had offended any of her ancestors.

“You are dreaming, Squirrelpaw. But this place is connected to Starclan.” The Warrior explained. As they began to approach the flowery scopes of land, Squirrelpaw was amazed when she saw the flowers bend in their beds of land, as if the hills were creating a path for them. The crisp path of emerald grass was cool and sent a pleasurable shimmer over the she cats paws. “Every Warrior is connected in their spirits to Starclan so some can see it in visions or dreams if Silverpelt allows it. But this place is a little different since its connected to me.”

“Huh?” Squirrelpaw flicked an ear. “Connected to you?”

Feathertail nodded, still advancing up the hill. “Each spirit is their own, Squirrelpaw. And each has their own path to take once their time in life is over. My path led me to the Tribe of Rushing Water, and since I died on their land…” Feathertail paused as she reached the top of the hill, and her fur began to wisp back in a cool breeze as she overlooked something. Squirrelpaw rose a brow, her heart racing suddenly in a curious drive. She pounced up the path to where Feathertail sat, and her jaw dropped at what she saw.

The hill overlooked a wide, overreaching river that slid between two starlit patches of land. Squirrelpaw blinked in astonishment. The river seemed to be made up of thousands of beaming stars that twinkled a pure blue in the soft ripples of water. A cool, murky scent filled Squirrelpaw’s senses that she soon identified as the scent of the Tribe’s cave. But with it was the wet tang of salt as well as the summery aroma of wet sand and pebbles. They melded together to craft the sweet bite of the sea.

Colours danced in the air, dynamic on the rush of the water. They rushed over the horizon in a gentle drift that sounded familiar to the tide of the waterfall. Dew flashed on blades of grass, casting what looked like more stars into the sky.

“Where we are is the border between Starclan and the Tribe of Endless Hunting. To be honest, I think I got lucky with where I ended up, don’t you?” Feathertail’s chipper laugh bounded into the horizon.

Squirrelpaw could only nod, too spell bounded to speak. It was true. This place was beautiful; beyond Squirrelpaw’s wildest dreams. She could smell the distant traces of prey and hear, like waves in the furthest corners of the light, the scattered, whispery echoes of laughter and smile cast voices.

This place was everything the stories of her elders could have imagined and more. And Feathertail somehow had found herself between two worlds that seemed to accept her, instead of refused by both. Squirrelpaw’s heart swelled. This paradise was just what Feathertail deserved after everything she’d done. At the very least, Squirrelpaw could be happy that her friend was somewhere safe and bright instead of the terrors in the forest.

She would never come back, but Squirrelpaw could let her heart soothe knowing that Feathertail had been rewarded for her sacrifice.

But when she thought of home…

Squirrelpaw’s ears pinned back as illness clawed her again. “But… why didn’t Starclan give us a sign?”

Feathertail sighed, “I’m sorry. I can’t answer that.”

Squirrelpaw gave her a wounded look. “Why?”

“It’s not up to me. I don’t have the power to make those kind of decisions.”

“Then who does?”

“There are many cats Squirrelpaw.” She shrugged sadly, “I’m just not one of them.”

“But what about the forest?” Squirrelpaw exclaimed. “You’ve all seen what’s happened to the forest! The clans are going to break apart if nothing changes! We need Starclan to help us!”

Feathertail’s face grew grave, “There are some cats down there that don’t believe Starclan has any power in the forest anymore.”

Squirrelpaw grit her teeth. That was true. Blackstar had openly declared that the forest had no meaning for the clans anymore. Perhaps it wasn’t too hard to see he didn’t trust Starclan would save them if they hadn’t stopped this destruction at all.

“Is that it then? We can’t get a sign because there are clans that don’t believe what we’re saying?” They had all tried to make them see, but what could a group of Warriors who’d ‘abandoned’ their clans do to persuade a group of angry, starving cats. Did the clans truly have to divide because of the choices of a few leaders?

Feathertail’s muzzle wrinkled, as if she was being held back from saying the truth. Another sigh left her. “Maybe. Perhaps it just wasn’t the time.”

Squirrelpaw’s eyes grew wide with disbelief. “We can’t waste any more time as it is, Feathertail!”

“I’m sorry, Squirrelpaw.” Feathertail’s mew was drenched with sadness. “I would help if I could. I can’t bare the thought of my Clan suffering through this.”

Squirrelpaw couldn’t help but scoff, her tail swiping angrily. “According to Leopardstar, Riverclan has nothing to worry about at all.” The stony look on the leader’s face was nothing but an insult to Squirrelpaw. Did the mouse-brain not understand anything? How could she just look at the chaos around her and just ignore it? How could any leader be so selfish?

Feathertail kept silent, looking aside. A twist of guilt came over Squirrelpaw at bad mouthing her friend’s leader. But… surely Feathertail knew that Leopardstar was going to hurt her clan if she did nothing? She kept quiet herself, waiting for Feathertail to respond.

The silver cat’s eyes looked distant. The sway of her tail told Squirrelpaw how hard she was thinking of what to say; as if carrying its own battle of will with every pulse of muscle. “Leopardstar is a stubborn cat. I can tell you that much myself.”

That was an understatement. Squirrelpaw knew to keep her mouth shut.

Feathertail’s eyes furrowed. The bare hint of anger looked distorted and wrong on the she cat. “I would be the first to admit that Leopardstar has made many terrible choices as a leader.”

Squirrelpaw shrank a little as the meaning dived into her. The rotten story of bone hill crept up her spine. After something like that, Squirrelpaw couldn’t help but wonder if being stuck with Leopardstar as a leader was its own prison for Riverclan.

But Feathertail’s anger didn’t last. On her face, it never could. With a deep breath, her face was as calm as the rivers water once again. “And there was a time when I thought Leopardstar did care more about herself than Riverclan. But not anymore. I know it seems hard to believe, but everything she does is what she thinks would benefit her Clan most of all.”

Squirrelpaw rolled her eyes. Whether it came from her father or Feathertail, she couldn’t let it soften her impression of Leopardstar. “Even if that’s true, Feathertail, it doesn’t mean she’s right.”

“I know.” Feathertail said with a soft laugh. “But I can’t let that ruin the fact that she was my leader.”

Squirrelpaw paused. “Why?” Didn’t Feathertail have the right to judge her leader’s poor decisions?”

Feathertail stared off. Above her the surge of red and blue began to mellow. “After what happened during Tigerstar’s reign, I was angry at her for so long.”

Of course she would be. She’d been betrayed for Starclan’s sake. That wasn’t Feathertail’s fault.

“I won’t lie to you. There were many times when I wished that Leopardstar would just go away for good. Every day in fact.”

At that, Squirrelpaw did freeze. While that kind of resentment was certainly understandable, the idea of Feathertail wishing for any cat to just die was too bizarre. But Squirrelpaw supposed that every cat, no matter how nice, had their limits.

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything. I just hated her, blamed her for giving us up like that. But one day a fox attacked our territory and got a hold of Leopardstar. She told us to run away but I helped save her life.”

“What?” Squirrelpaw struggled to grasp that. A leader had nine lives to lose, while a Warrior only had one. Did Feathertail really risk her own to save a leader she hated, a leader that had allowed a cat to attack her as a kit? “But why?”

“Because it was the right thing to do. And if I ran away, when I knew I could have saved her, that would have been just as wrong as what she did. She may have chosen her own mistakes, but I wasn’t going to do something like that.”

All in all, that answer was just what Squirrelpaw would have expected from Feathertail. Too good for her own good. Saving a cat even though she didn’t forgive her.

It was things like that that made her one of the greatest cats Squirrelpaw ever knew.

Feathertail exhaled, the strain on her brow dimming. “After that happened, she finally came over to me and apologised for what happened.” A light chuckle purred in Feathertail, “That was never something I expected from her.” She paused again.

Squirrelpaw bit her lip. “What did you say?”

Feathertail turned, and her face was as soft as spring moss. “I forgave her.”

The apprentice sighed, more in disbelief than anything. “How?”

“Because when she screamed at me to run away from that fox, I realised who Leopardstar was. She isn’t a bad cat. She cares for her Warriors more than anything.” Her eyes closed as an embarrassed simper waved over her. “She’s just unfortunately a fool of herself, sometimes at the very worst moment. If she thinks her decision can benefit the greater good, she will follow through with it. She’s a hot-head, but she isn’t an awful cat.”

Was that much better? Squirrelpaw hated more than anything that she doubted her friends words, but even if Leopardstar believed she was doing the right thing, it didn’t erase the fact that her foolish decisions were foolish decisions. This was a time where no cat could afford to doubt their only chance of survival. It was hard to feel sorry for a leader instead of the many cats they put in danger.

“I understand what you mean, Feathertail.” Squirrelpaw sighed, resignation clouding her eyes. “But that doesn’t change her decision. Leopardstar doesn’t want to travel with the clans. What does that mean for Riverclan? They didn’t even believe Stormfur! What else can we do?” If Feathertail had any words of wisdom that she could share out of Starclan’s light, Squirrelpaw was desperate to hear it.

Feathertail turned to Squirrelpaw and just smiled. “Leopardstar learnt her mistakes before. I think she’ll soon realise what she needs to do. I trust her.” She began to slowly pad down the hill towards the river.

Squirrelpaw blinked. Was that it? Trust?

She bounded after Feathertail. “Feathertail?” Squirrelpaw exclaimed, “She wasn’t convinced after fourtrees were torn from their roots! She won’t change her mind now!”

“She might.” Feathertail said gently, “I think we both know that what’s happening to the forest isn’t going away anytime soon. Sooner or later, I think Leopardstar will see that Riverclan can’t stay there anymore.”

Squirrelpaw ran her tongue over the inside of her teeth. “But Riverclan hasn’t been affected yet! And even if they are soon, it won’t matter if the other clans have already decided to separate! Shadowclan is already thinking of moving to the Twoleg-place!”

“They haven’t yet.” Feathertail responded, shifting her paw to avoid stepping on a lone flower. Then she stopped where she stood, making her friend pause beside her. “There’s still time, Squirrelpaw. I’m sure that Stormfur and Tawnypelt will do all they can to make sure that doesn’t happen.” She faced Squirrelpaw, gleaming. “And I’m certain that you, Crowpaw and Brambleclaw will do all you can to help as well.”

The bite of those words, of the belief in them, was excruciating. Squirrelpaw slowly looked down, a harsh dread spilling inside her. She had seen Brambleclaw’s defeated face, and it was becoming harder and harder to fight the loss enveloping them all. Especially after…

Squirrelpaw wanted desperately to be the strong cat Feathertail clearly thought she was. But everything was falling apart, including her own beliefs. She hated it, she really did, but she was losing her own will after seeing it drain from each of her friends.

If they were even friends anymore.

It seemed the leaders had taken that choice from them as well.

Each of their faces had been a shell. Nothing reminiscent of the cats Squirrelpaw had fought life and death with. They didn’t sound the same anymore. It was like they were husks for their clans instead of cats that had battled to save them. Their clans didn’t trust them anymore. What chance did they have when they were divided.

She had heard words that her own nightmares hadn’t given her journey mates to speak.

She had said them herself.

“Feathertail, I don’t think there’s anything else we can do.” She couldn’t bring herself to look up at Feathertail at that moment. The imagination of the heartbreak was painful enough. “We can’t go against our leaders. Things aren’t the same anymore.”

Silence.

Squirrelpaw cringed. Now she really couldn’t meet those sad eyes.

“I-I want to help them. I promise I do! B-But…” Her jaw squared, “I don’t know what to do! It’s like the journey didn’t even matter! Tallstar is pressuring my father to leave soon; what am I supposed to do if me and Brambleclaw can’t convince them for more time?”

More silence.

Squirrelpaw’s mouth trembled.

Of course.

There was no answer she’d like.

“I-I don’t even know if the others think we’ll be able to leave together. We-We might have to…” She didn’t know if she could say it.

The feeling of soft paws on her ear made her voice die down. “Feathertail?” Squirrelpaw looked up but a paw kept her still.

“Just a moment.”

The paws were fussing over her ear. Squirrelpaw felt something delicate and smooth brush the outer fur. The pungent waft of honey sent a shiver in Squirrelpaw’s senses. It almost felt like…

Her breath slowed. She knew this feeling. She suddenly felt the urge to cry.

Feathertail proudly sauntered back, admiring her work. “There. It suits you.”

The flower was thin and red, petals tufted together like dandelion fluff. It lay in Squirrelpaw’s ear like it had always been there. She could barely feel it even. But she recognised the weight of a flower. She carried one for a long time.

Cherished times.

Feathertail’s smile thinned. She ushered Squirrelpaw with her tail, reigniting their walk to the river. “Let me ask you something,” The cat cooed. Her voice was devoid of judgement which scared Squirrelpaw all the more. “Do you really believe that the others would let their clans abandon you?”

Squirrelpaw sighed, “Feathertail, they don’t have a-”

“Ignore that.” She prompted, “I want you to answer me that.” She meowed. “Do you, in your heart, really think the others would abandon you?”

Two cold blue eyes burned on the apprentice’s brain.

“Crowpaw said that he would.”

Feathertail let out a soft breath, “Forget what he said. I’m asking if you truly believe that they would?” Squirrelpaw felt Feathertail’s eyes on her as if they were a leader’s. They didn’t blink once, as if they refused to until they got an answer. “If it was their clan that agreed to leave while yours refused, do you think they would just leave you behind?”

Squirrelpaw’s gaze flew up.

If her clan had refused to leave instead?

The idea hadn’t caught her before. It was like she was a fly trapped in an invisible web. She thought of her and Brambleclaw, stuck worrying while Firestar refused to leave their home. She thought of Leopardstar and Blackstar or even Tallstar, content with letting him stay in his stubborn prison. And then she thought of her previous friends, safe in their decision to leave. If it meant their survival, would they truly just abandon a cat they’d travelled beside?

The question should have been made of fire and dark, ready to swarm whatever they could feast on.

But all it left Squirrelpaw with was a hollow breath.

Because whenever she thought of any of those cats turning their backs on them, she didn’t recognise what she saw.

“I… I don’t…” Squirrelpaw spluttered.

“No?” Feathertail offered with a light shake of her whiskers.

Squirrelpaw exhaled, her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “…No.” She said sagely.

“And why do you think that?”

“Because… they just wouldn’t.” She had no reason, just a cracked stone of certainty.

“You trust them?”

Squirrelpaw almost felt offended, “Of course I do!”

“So why don’t you trust that they’ll do everything they can to stop their leaders?”

“That’s… That’s different.”

“Is it?”

Wasn’t it?

“If you trust that they wouldn’t leave you behind, wouldn’t they trust that you wouldn’t leave them behind?”

“We’d never leave them behind!” Squirrelpaw affirmed, “That’s what Firestar is trying to avoid!”

“So if they trust you to do that, don’t you have any faith in them trying to make sure the journey is completed?” Feathertail’s tail gently stroked the underside of Squirrelpaw’s chin. “Otherwise, what would be the point of believing in your clans?”

It was hard to tell why Squirrelpaw felt something inside of Feathertail’s words. It might have been because they came from a Starclan cat, it might have been because they offered a rare chance of hope that Squirrelpaw couldn’t let slip.

Mostly it was because it came from Feathertail.

The cat who had always made her honestly sound so strong.

Squirrelpaw hadn’t realised they’d made it to the river until Feathertail had stopped at the bank. She looked over the edge and gawked. This close, it really did look like there was a horde of small winking stars swimming in the currents like golden tadpoles. She felt a soft touch on her shoulder that she knew was Feathertail’s paw.

“I know how you feel, Squirrelpaw. I saw the meeting.” Her face twisted as she pulled the apprentice a little closer, resting her chin on the soft head. Squirrelpaw shivered, holding in her breath. “It broke my heart to see you all in such pain. I wish there was something I could do.”

Squirrelpaw sank her cheek into the chest morosely, “But you can’t.”

“No, I can’t.” Feathertail nodded, “But you all can. You need to have faith in each other, even if it seems pointless.”

“I… I want to, Feathertail. But…”

“No buts. If you don’t believe in them for a moment, then you’re showing that you don’t trust yourselves. I know it’s hard, but you can’t give up. I won’t either. I believe in Leopardstar the same that I believe in all of you.” Feathertail pulled back, her paws on both of Squirrelpaw’s shoulders. The apprentice met the confident eyes with a lack of breath. “If you don’t have trust, then you don’t have faith, and without faith there’s no hope.” Feathertail’s stare stiffened, “And without hope… what do you have?”

Nothing. Nothing was what you had.

Squirrelpaw stared brokenly at her friend, as if trying to piece together a forgotten memory.

Feathertail sighed, her head lowering, then rising up with a small, but full, smile. “Please Squirrelpaw. Please just trust in them. Tawnypelt, Crowpaw… Stormfur-” Her breath went jagged for a second, but she quickly rebuilt herself. “They need you. More than ever. Please don’t give up on them. Because they wouldn’t give up on you.”

Give up. There were times where Squirrelpaw wouldn’t touch that phrase with a whisker. It made her feel too much. And she knew why that was.

Because the phrase brought nothing good in its wake.

At home, it had become so powerful.

But here, in the light of Feathertail’s pure confidence, Squirrelpaw felt the slightest power to reject it once again. Because even in her coldest moments, she couldn’t imagine those cats ever giving up on each other. They may not believe in themselves, Squirrelpaw hardly felt she could do anything.

But maybe that was why they trusted each other so much?

They placed all their beliefs into their… Friends or not. It meant something.

Squirrelpaw hoped.

It was like Feathertail said, without hope, there wasn’t anything.

Her mouth began to curl into a reluctant, but rewarding smile. “I’ll do my best, Feathertail. I promise.”

She had to try. Because they would do the same for her.

Feathertail wouldn’t waste her hope on nothing. Squirrelpaw would make sure of that.

Feathertail beamed, purring extensively. “Thank you, Squirrelpaw. That’s all I ask.” The two she cats found their gazes drawn to the water again. It was mystifying; watching the maelstrom of colours glitz with a feverish vitality. The beauty of it all gave Squirrelpaw a fresh wash of peace.

“I can’t speak for the others, but I’ll do what I can. For all of us.”

Feathertail stepped back with a light laugh. “I know you will. I have faith in you all.”

Squirrelpaw smiled at the hope in her friend’s voice. She had always been the one to lift their spirits. The one who dreamed for them all.

‘That was my mistake.’

Squirrelpaw thought the voice had come from the water at first. It was too hostile and crooked to git here.

But that was because it came from home.

Squirrelpaw saw her face warp in the water.

Feathertail’s did too.

“Yes.” She said cooly. “That was something else we needed to talk about.”

Squirrelpaw didn’t even question how Feathertail knew what was wrong. She was too sickened to do that. She realised that by seeing everything at the meeting, Feathertail had truly seen ‘eveything’. Including those painful words.

What could Squirrelpaw even say? Crowpaw’s sudden attitude had knocked the wind out of her as well. If Feathertail had heard Crowpaw demean her sacrifice, her beliefs, their journey like that?

It had hurt Squirrelpaw immensely. For a number of reasons.

Feathertail must have had it so much worse. After all she had…

“I really wish you’d told me, Squirrelpaw.”

Squirrelpaw blinked. In the water, Feathertail’s mouth was in a straight line and her eyes were half-lidded. Squirrelpaw looked up at her, a brow raised. “Told you what?”

Feathertail faced her, and her head cocked knowingly. It was the thin, disappointed smile that first made the incredible tremor of complete and utter horror sink into Squirrelpaw’s throat like a weasel’s jaws. Her pupils shrank as she suddenly felt all of her breath sucked out of her. Her throat began to hurt, and she really felt now that she was going to vomit.

Feathertail just sighed, deep, out of her nose. “You know what I mean, Squirrelpaw.”

Oh dear.

Squirrelpaw began to look for some kind of excuse, anything at all. But Feathertail just looked at her so calmly and unjudgmental that it was impossible to form a sentence.

“I- I- I jus- I couldn’t-” She looked up again in a panic, and when it became clear that Feathertail wasn’t going to do anything else apart from crane her head and let her disappointment deepen a little more, Squirrelpaw let her head drop in defeat.

There was nowhere to hide anymore.

Not from Feathertail.

Not from herself.

“How- How did you find out?”

Feathertail’s lips tugged to the side, “I told you. I haven’t left your side once.” She licked her chest, “It gave some time to really notice some things.”

Squirrelpaw covered her face with a forepaw, hissing through her teeth. Was she really that obvious? How pathetic. The paw dropped and she stared dejectedly into the water. “I’m… I’m sorry Feathertail.”

“Oh Squirrelpaw, don’t do that.” Feathertail actually looked annoyed this time. She brushed her face with a paw, “What could you possibly be sorry for?”

Squirrelpaw picked her head up, cowed by the frustration but intrigued by the question. “I- Well, because you… liked him? And I didn’t…”

“Didn’t what? Stop liking him too! Come on, Squirrelpaw, do you really think I’m that shallow?”

Squirrelpaw looked away, biting her lip. She’d already managed to say something wrong. It would only get worse from here. She kept her face ruefully away from Feathertail.

Her ear quivered at a soft sigh. “Squirrelpaw, please look at me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice.”

A pack of stones lay in Squirrelpaw’s stomach. If there was any kindness, they would let her sink into the water like she deserved. It never came so Squirrelpaw was forced to accept her punishment and look back at her judgement.

It just hit Squirrelpaw then that for some reason, Feathertail didn’t cast a shadow onto the ground. “Squirrelpaw,” She said gently, “I’m not upset that you felt the same as me about Crowpaw.”

Squirrelpaw’s whiskers twitched with disbelief. “You’re… not?”

“No. I’m upset because you didn’t think you could tell me about it.” Feathertail’s eyes dimmed a little guiltily, “I’m upset because I didn’t notice how much you were hurting the whole time.”

Every muscle in Squirrelpaw tightened and every instinct and emotion overflowed. “Feathertail… it wasn’t your fault. I- I just never told you.” She looked down again. “I never told anyone. I couldn’t.”

Something tired and pained cast over Feathertail, “I know. That’s one of the things that’s hard to take.” She didn’t stop even when Squirrelpaw’s tail began to shake. “I mean, you were my best friend, Squirrelpaw. I didn’t realise what I was doing when I told you how I felt.”

Squirrelpaw grimaced, “I, uh, kind of figured it out before you told me.” She licked her shoulder, aghast. “Sorry Feathertail, you weren’t really hiding it.”

Feathertail blushed, then her lips parted for a quiet fit of laughter. “Guess I was even less subtle, wasn’t I?”

Squirrelpaw couldn’t help but smile along. “You could say that.”

“I’m sorry. If I’d known that you’d liked him too I would have tried to talk to you about it.” She moved forward, her eyes half closing with a frown. “Why didn’t you tell me? We could have talked about it!”

Squirrelpaw looked up with a tight frown, “I- I couldn’t do that.”

“Why not? We’re friends aren’t we?”

“Of course!” Squirrelpaw meowed, “That’s why I didn’t say anything!”

Feathertail drew back, a sad look in her expression.

The dismay in Squirrelpaw’s stomach was hard to swallow down. She had kept this hidden for so long, for everyone’s benefit but her own. And here she was, about to reveal it all to her dead best friend. Why did life have to be such a thorn in her tail?

“You liked him, Feathertail. Probably before me. I couldn’t get in the way of that.” The tenderness she looked at Feathertail with was overshadowed by a gruelling dejection. “You’re one of the greatest cats I know, Feathertail. If anyone deserved to be with him, it was you. I didn’t want to make things… harder for anyone if I suddenly got involved.”

She didn’t want to prove that nagging hiss, the one that told her all she did was ruin things for others, right. She didn’t think she could live with that.

“Squirrelpaw.” The pensive glow in Feathertail’s eyes unnerved the apprentice. “That wouldn’t have happened at all. The last thing I’d want to do is hurt you. You really kept quiet all this time because you thought you’d upset me?”

Squirrelpaw could only nod. It made sense after all.

“Oh my.” Feathertail murmured. She stepped forward again and Squirrelpaw could see the tired, but honest love in her expression. “Squirrelpaw, I know you just wanted me to be happy. But please, we’re friends. We shouldn’t keep secrets like that from each other. Especially if it was hurting you.”

“It wasn’t hurting me.”

All Feathertail needed to do was stare to show what a terrible lie that was.

Squirrelpaw groaned. “I just… if you two could have been happy together… I think I could have lived with that.” Was her voice breaking at the end of that? She hissed. Why was she so bad at keeping herself together?! She sniffed. “It doesn’t matter now. You heard what he said right? He hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you.” Feathertail said it smoothly. Plainly.

That just made Squirrelpaw angry. Impossibly, frustratedly angry.

“Are you kidding me? Yes, he does!”

“I can assure you, he doesn’t.”

Once again. Just plain and simple.

Once more, Squirrelpaw grit her teeth.

A growl left Squirrelpaw’s throat. She couldn’t stop it, even as she found herself glaring at Feathetail’s reflection. It was too much of an effort to look at her like this.

“You weren’t there!” It was a mouse-brained, technically a lie, excuse. But Squirrelpaw wasn’t thinking. All she thought about were his words.

“Yes I was.” Feathertail said softly, she tried to stroke Squirrelpaw’s back with her tail, and succeeded when the ginger cat didn’t find the energy to move. “And I never heard him say I hate you.”

“He might as well have! He said that it was a mistake to think we’d be friends! He said that your sacrifice didn’t matter! What else could he have meant?”

“He did say that didn’t he?” Feathertail said gently, her half-lidded expression finding Squirrelpaw’s squinting scowl. There was a moment where Squirrelpaw accepted this as a reluctant victory.

But then Feathertail spoke on. “But what did you say back to him?”

‘She’d be ashamed of you.’

Squirrelpaw’s heart squeezed as she felt the words run over her mouth like sand. Inside the water, Feathertail’s reflection took on a quiet glance that Squirrelpaw could barely look at. It was only the shame that kept her neck stiff that didn’t take her away.

“He deserved it.”

“In a way, I suppose he did. But I’m not ashamed of him, you know? I could never be ashamed of either of you.”

Squirrelpaw kept quiet.

“It’s just sad; seeing the two of you fight.” Feathertail’s body edged close

“He started it.”

“The Twolegs started it, Squirrelpaw. But I know what you mean, he had no right to say what he said.”

Squirrelpaw wasn’t as pleased by Feathertail taking her side as she thought she would. Mostly because she’d have preferred it if those words hadn’t been said to begin with.

“He acted like we were strangers.” Squirrelpaw’s bitter mew hissed. “I thought he’d changed. But it was just like when we first met.” Her tail lashed with broken-hearted rage. The poison in his snarl, the ferocity in his eyes, she’d seen it before. Her head dipped. Maybe it was her fault for getting her hopes up.

To Squirrelpaw’s ever increasing unease, Feathertail just nodded her head, still empty eyed. “I know. He did really act awful, didn’t he? And you’re right, it did remind me of how he was at the start. He didn’t want to know any of us.”

If Feathertail was a storm, then her words were hail. They battered Squirrelpaw mercilessly in their agreement, making Squirrelpaw squirm and shake in sickness she didn’t fully understand. She didn’t speak.

“So?” Feathertail’s voice rose into a questioning mew. “Why did we ever like him in the first place?”

There, Squirrelpaw stood face to face with her reflection. She felt confused, because in the water, she was surrounded by some kind of glow that took over every patch of her. Above the surface, she was dry inside and out.

But something was making her tremble.

“I mean,” Feathertail continued casually, “We knew at the start that he hated us. So why did we both grow to like him so much?”

The longer Squirrelpaw stared, the more she was sure she was going mad. Because she could swear that the water was changing, twisting, mirroring a stream of visions. At first a black tide rippled, angry and wolfish, sterile and disconnected from anything, it stared with hatred, two blue eyes creasing in the hissing foam.

But Squirrelpaw thought.

Why?

The water changed.

The water seemed to push and pull like a tide, and each time Squirrelpaw saw something new. She watched the black shape turn grey and strangely start to glow. Maybe it was the stars. Maybe not. But regardless, it changed and churned.

“I know why I liked him anyway.” Feathertail’s voice whistled somewhere close. “So how about you? After all, I remember that at the start all the two of you did was fight? Why after all that did you become friends with him?”

Good question.

Squirrelpaw’s head felt like wet moss. She couldn’t think.

The water spoke for her.

She heard a voice anyway, as a flurry of images slipped through the river.

‘I don’t need to take credit from another clan either, Squirrelbreath!’

‘Thank you… What? She derserves it. It was brave.’

‘Any clan would be lucky to have that kind of apprentice.’

‘And you shouldn’t let your guard down so easily.’

‘Yeah… I’d like that.’

‘If you need to talk, we can, you know?’

The next image made Squirrelpaw touch her cheek. She felt the tingle of her fur as her cheek was gently licked.

For a moment she thought that the frantic steam of her breath had made a fog over her eyes, when in reality her eyes had become full of tears. They didn’t drop immediately, just lay obscuring her vision, moulding the scowling dark shape until Squirrelpaw was sure she could see something new and intimate.

A face she knew, that smiled.

Softly, Squirrelpaw smiled back at the vision. “I became friends with him, because I found out who he was.”

Feathertail began to purr, content. “Really?”

“Yes. He acted like a complete mouse-brain at first. And I can honestly say I hated him.” Her head turned from the water, stationary, looking into Feathertail’s chest fluff. “But after a while, we became friends. He was still a mouse-brain.” The two she-cats laughed fleetingly, “But he helped me… a lot. And he was kinder than even he thought he was, I think. He was brave, and funny, and…” Squirrelpaw sniffed. “Good. He was a good cat.”

Squirrelpaw didn’t look up as Feathertail’s paws wrapped themselves around her shoulders, gently letting the smaller cat’s forehead bump against her chest. Feathertail let the cat cry, not flinching, always patting her back with her paw. “Hmm. Sounds like you really do like him?”

Squirrelpaw laughed and cried into the fur. “Yeah. I love him.” Maybe she said that so faintly because of the stupendous relief it gave her to say it out loud. “And now he…”

“Squirrelpaw. I promise you; he doesn’t hate you.”

“But he said-”

“I know what he said. But remember that he’s a mouse-brain.” Feathertail snorted, “Sometimes cats say things they don’t mean when they’re upset.”

Squirrelpaw cringed. Point taken.

“I’m not saying you should forgive what he said. But no matter how he acts, we both know he can’t do this on his own. The same that you or I couldn’t.” Feathertail let her head rest on the apprentice’s neck. “You didn’t give up on him before, I wouldn’t think you would now.”

“It isn’t that easy. The clans are fighting for their lives. How am I supposed to help him, or anyone for Starclan’s sake?” Squirrelpaw sobbed.

The fur pulled away, leaving Squirrelpaw alone for a cold second. Then a placid set of paws came over her eyes, as soft as a mother cradling a kit. Squirrelpaw sniffed again, but her eyes were dry. She blinked. Feathertail sat before her, a strong grin on her jaws.

“You’re a smart cat, Squirrelpaw.” Feathertail meowed. “I know you’ll figure it out.”

All her life, Squirrelpaw had yearned for a cat to believe in her. It was Feathertail that had done that for the first time, and even here, in this mist of stars and doubt, she did the same. A warmth began to beat inside of Squirrelpaw like a second heart.

Feathertail’s paw moved over the flower, adjusting it safely, a trace of sad resignation in her eyes. Squirrelpaw mewed in confusion, then looked around. Her jaw dropped. The mid-air stars had began to glow, bright and shining, making Squirrelpaw begin to squint. The sound of the river began to crash. Fear began to claw Squirrelpaw.

“What’s going on?”

“You’re waking up.”

“What?” No! This wasn’t fair! Squirrelpaw didn’t have the strength to say goodbye again. “No, Feathertail, please!” She lunged forward wrapping her paws around her friend again, her grit teeth and tear soaked eyes let the silver fur absorb them. “Please don’t go! We, all of us, need you!”

The paws tenderly touched the apprentice’s shoulders again. “No. You need each other.” Feathertail’s mew began to fade as the sound of water began to drum into Squirrelpaw’s ears. “Stay safe. I promise I’ll always be watching you all!”

“No!” Squirrelpaw sobbed. “Please! Stay with me just a little longer.”

“You’re strong, Squirrelpaw. Save your clan. Save the others. Look after him.”

Squirrelpaw sobbed until the white of the stars filled her eyes and the roar of the river drowned out the sky. But she was aware of Feathertail’s smile, constant on her cheek. And she felt her ear smooth as if it was being groomed.

When she awoke in the gully, she found that she was in fact receiving a wake up groom from Shrewpaw. He poked her with his paw, calling for her to get up as Firestar was about to announce something important.

Squirrelpaw didn’t respond, even when Shrewpaw and Whitepaw began to ask what was wrong. She touched the fur beside her ear and felt nothing there. Her head dipped low. She might have stayed there the whole morning if it wasn’t for the twitching of her nose.

Her eyes widened, her back fur flaring as her legs stiffened up.

Shrewpaw and Whitepaw cocked their heads in confusion when Squirrelpaw asked them if they smelt what she smelt.

Was that?

She sniffed again.

But the forest was… how did she…

She sniffed again.

Her paw touched her ear.

She sniffed again.

The smell was stronger.

Not so calmly, Squirrelpaw began to smile, and a surge of confidence grappled her chest. Then she bounded past her shell shocked friends out of the gully and into the morning light and the faint scent of honey.

She wouldn’t give up. Not now. Not ever. And not as long as she knew that someone was watching her, believing in her.

…

By the starlit pool, a lone silver shape sat quietly. She stared at her reflection, contemplating.

“Are you okay?”

The silver cat didn’t need to turn. She could recognise the voice of her mother.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Her mother strode to the edge of the river, her mouth fixed into a knowing line.

“You know how it will end for them, right?” The older cat, if she could still be called that in this gleaming afterflife, said. It was better to be honest. It wouldn’t be respectful to her daughter to be anything but. “That he didn’t… return your feelings?”

Her daughter nodded, accepting but reluctant.

Silverstream hummed into the gentle stream. “And how does that make you feel?”

For a long time Feathertail only sat there, silent. She breathed, her eyes hidden from her mother. “Well, there’s definitely a pain in my chest. It isn’t that nice, obviously.”

Silverstream waited.

Feathertail turned, and despite the tears in her eyes, she truly looked overjoyed. “But I’m so happy for them.” She beamed.

Silverstream smiled. “That’s nice.”

2016 in music

When thinking about Popular Music, my mind immediately goes back to 2016, a time that truly defined my musical taste. I have no idea why but I firmly believe that this year was one of the best, if not the best, for popular music. It saw some of the biggest pop stars explore new territories, such as Rihanna with her album Anti (in which she covers Tame Impala and Florence + The Machine!!!) and Lady Gaga who issued a stripped-down, pop-rock and country oriented album, Joanne.

I can’t deny that my love (and nostalgia) for 2016 is biased as, at that time, two of my favorite artists, the Knowles sisters, released my two favorite albums of all time. Beyoncé (whom I saw live for the first time on July 21, 2016) put out Lemonade, her second visual album and first in which she got truly ‘political’ while her younger sister, Solange, released the brilliant A Seat At the Table. 

I ought to mention that male artists, such as Frank Ocean, Childish Gambino, James Blake, Kaytranada and Kanye West (sorry), also released prodigious albums.

However, things did not solely look great. In a matter of months, David Bowie, Leonard Cohen and Prince passed away. The first two released amazing albums in 2016 (Blackstar and You Want It Darker). Both were put out a few days before the respective deaths of their authors, you should definitely check them out. 

Nevertheless, 2016 also marked the birth and growth of the careers of more or less new talents. Aurora released her first album All My Demons Greeting Me As A Friend, Chloe x Halle released their first EP Sugar Symphony and Lizzo notably released the songs “Good As Hell” and “Phone”. Nao and Noname can be added to this list, while Mitski and Banks both released albums that solidified their talent and popularity. (Did you notice that these artists - especially Lizzo, Aurora, Chloe x Halle and Mitski - skyrocketed to fame or experienced new effervescence for their music in the past two years thanks to TikTok?) 

Finally, it is worth noting that three albums I mentioned (Beyoncé’s, Rihanna’s and Kanye West’s Life of Pablo) were first released as Tidal exclusives. Tidal is a streaming platform that was bought by Jay-Z back in 2015 and which aims at paying artist in a fairer way than Spotify, Apple Music or Deezer (on top of initially having a better sound). What also made it different was that it was supposed to belong to the artists themselves, that’s why among its co-owners you’ll find Beyoncé, Madonna, Daft Punk, Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Kanye, Jack White, J. Cole, etc. Maybe the belief in the fact that it would revolutionize the music and streaming industries is one of the reason why popular music was so good in 2016!

Thanks for reading! 

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Scott Campbell), $$3.99 Black Cat #7 (Cover B Olivier Vatine 2020 Variant), $AR Black Cat #7 (Cover C Otto Schmidt Venom Island Variant), $AR Champions By Jim Zub Volume 2 Give And Take TP, $$15.99 Conan Serpent War #1 (Of 4)(Cover A Carlos Pacheco), $$4.99 Conan Serpent War #1 (Of 4)(Cover B Neal Adams), $AR Conan Serpent War #1 (Of 4)(Cover C TBD), $AR Conan Serpent War #1 (Of 4)(Cover D Giuseppe Camuncoli Virgin Connecting Variant), $AR Conan Serpent War #1 (Of 4)(Cover E David Finch), $AR Conan Serpent War #1 (Of 4)(Cover F Stone Variant), $AR Daredevil #14 (Cover A Julian Totino Tedesco), $$3.99 Daredevil #14 (Cover B Skan 2020 Variant), $AR Daredevil By Chip Zdarsky Volume 2 No Devils Only God TP, $$15.99 Ditko Is Amazing King-Size HC, $$100.00 Doctor Doom #3 (Cover A Aco), $$3.99 Doctor Doom #3 (Cover B Patrick Zircher 2020 Variant), $AR Excalibur #3 (Cover A Mahmud A. Asrar), $$3.99 Excalibur #3 (Cover B Khoi Pham Venom Island Variant), $AR Ghost Rider 2099 #1 (Cover A Valerio Giangiordano), $$4.99 Ghost Rider 2099 #1 (Cover B Ron Lim), $AR Ghost Rider 2099 #1 (Cover C Kyle Hotz), $AR Immortal Hulk #25 (Alex Ross 2nd Printing Variant Cover), $$5.99 Iron Man The Mask In Iron Man Omnibus HC, $$75.00 Magnificent Ms. Marvel #10, $$3.99 Marauders #3 (Cover A Russell Dauterman), $$3.99 Marauders #3 (Cover B Jee-Hyung Lee), $AR Old Man Quill #12 (Of 12), $$3.99 Savage Avengers #8, $$3.99 Spectacular Spider-Man Lo This Monster TP, $$19.99 Spider-Man And Venom Double Trouble #2 (Of 4)(Cover A Gurihiru), $$3.99 Spider-Man And Venom Double Trouble #2 (Of 4)(Cover B Peach Momoko), $AR Star Wars #1 (Facsimile Edition), $$3.99 Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order Dark Temple #5 (Of 5)(Cover A Will Sliney), $$3.99 Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order Dark Temple #5 (Of 5)(Cover B Paul Renaud), $$3.99 Star Wars Saga #1, $$3.99 Sword Master #6, $$3.99 Thor The God Butcher Marvel Select HC, $$24.99 Thor The Worthy #1 (Cover A Kim Jacinto), $$4.99 Thor The Worthy #1 (Cover B Walter Simonson), $AR True Believers Conan Serpent War #0 (The Valley Of The Worm), $$1.00 True Believers Star Wars According To The Droids #1, $$1.00 True Believers Star Wars Death Probe #1, $$1.00 True Believers Star Wars Hutt Run #1, $$1.00 True Believers Star Wars The Hunter #1, $$1.00 True Believers Star Wars Vader Vs Leia #1, $$1.00 Venom 2099 #1 (Cover A Clayton Crain), $$4.99 Venom 2099 #1 (Cover B Ron Lim), $AR Venom 2099 #1 (Cover C Otto Schmidt), $AR Web Of Black Widow #4 (Of 5)(Cover A Jung-Geun Yoon), $$3.99 Web Of Black Widow #4 (Of 5)(Cover B Audrey Mok), $AR X-Men #3 (Cover A Leinil Francis Yu), $$3.99 X-Men #3 (Cover B Alex Ross Marvels 25th Variant), $AR X-Men #3 (Cover C Mike McKone Venom Island Variant), $AR ONI PRESS Night's Dominion Volume 3 TP, $$15.99 Rick And Morty Volume 10 TP, $$19.99 REBELLION/2000AD Dark Judges The Fall Of Deadworld Volume 2 HC, $$24.99 Djinn Volume 3 GN, $$18.99 RED 5 COMICS Angela Della Morte #1 (Cover A Salvador Sanz), $$3.95 ROTHIC Ancient Dreams #9, $$3.99 RUTGERS UNIVERSITY PRESS Holocaust Graphic Narratives Generation Trauma And Memory SC, $$24.95 Only At Comic-Con Hollywood Fans And The Limits Of Exclusivity SC, $$29.95 Superhero Symbol Media Culture And Politics SC, $$29.95 SCOUT COMICS Headless #4, $$3.99 Stabbity Ever After Wonderland #1 (One Shot), $$3.99 SELFMADEHERO H.P. Lovecraft At The Mountain Of Madness GN, $$19.99 SEVEN SEAS ENTERTAINMENT Arifureta From Commonplace To World's Strongest Light Novel Volume 7 SC, $$14.99 Arifureta I Love Isekai Volume 1 GN, $$12.99 Dragon Quest Monsters+ Volume 5 GN, $$12.99 Gal Gohan Volume 1 GN, $$12.99 How A Realist Hero Rebuilt The Kingdom Light Novel Volume 5 SC, $$13.99 Ideal Sponger Life Volume 4 GN, $$12.99 Monster Musume Volume 15 GN, $$12.99 My Father Is A Unicorn Volume 1 GN, $$13.99 Our Dining Room Volume 1 GN, $$12.99 Plus-Sized Elf Volume 4 GN, $$12.99 Reincarnated As A Sword Volume 1 GN, $$12.99 SIMON AND SCHUSTER BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS Becoming RBG Ruth Bader Ginsburg's Journey To Justice HC GN, $$19.99 SO WHAT? PRESS Tales Of The Night Watchman Featuring Red Hook The Untold Legend Of Luna #1 (Cover A Dean Haspiel), $$7.99 Tales Of The Night Watchman Featuring Red Hook The Untold Legend Of Luna #1 (Cover B Emily Pearson), $$7.99 STORM KING PRODUCTIONS Storm Kids Monica Bleue A Werewolf Story #1 (Of 5), $$3.99 TEN SPEED PRESS Ninja The Most Dangerous Game Volume 1 GN, $$16.99 TITAN BOOKS Joe Alves Designing Jaws HC, $$39.95 TITAN COMICS Disney Frozen 2 The Official Movie Special Magazine, $$9.99 MediEvil HC, $$12.99 Minions Volume 4 Paella #2 (Cover A Renaud Collin), $$3.99 Sherlock A Scandal In Belgravia #1 (Cover A Alice X. Zhang Sherlock Variant), $$4.99 Sherlock A Scandal In Belgravia #1 (Cover B Alice X. Zhang Watson Variant), $$4.99 Sherlock A Scandal In Belgravia #1 (Cover C Photo), $$4.99 Sherlock A Scandal In Belgravia #1 (Cover D Jay), $$4.99 Sherlock A Scandal In Belgravia #1 (Cover E Will Conrad), $$4.99 TOKYOPOP Deep Scar Volume 2 GN, $$10.99 Scarlet Soul Volume 1 GN, $$10.99 VALIANT ENTERTAINMENT Psi-Lords #7 (Cover A Ariel Olivetti), $$3.99 Psi-Lords #7 (Cover B Juan Jose Ryp), $$3.99 Psi-Lords #7 (Cover C Juan Doe), $$3.99 Psi-Lords #7 (Cover D Scott Forbes Pre-Order Edition Variant), $AR VERTICAL COMICS Paradise Kiss 20th Anniversary Edition GN, $$29.95 YEN ON Worldend Light Novel Volume 5 SC, $$14.00 YEN PRESS Re:Zero Starting Live In An Another World Chapter 3 Truth Of Zero Volume 9 GN, $$13.00 ZENESCOPE ENTERTAINMENT Belle Oath Of Thorns #3 (Cover A Sean Chen), $$3.99 Belle Oath Of Thorns #3 (Cover B Jason Metcalf), $$3.99 Belle Oath Of Thorns #3 (Cover C Derlis Santacruz), $$3.99 Belle Oath Of Thorns #3 (Cover D Geebo Vigonte), $$3.99 Grimm Fairy Tales #33 (Cover A Igor Vitorino), $$3.99 Grimm Fairy Tales #33 (Cover B Harvey Tolibao), $$3.99 Grimm Fairy Tales #33 (Cover C Michael DiPascale), $$3.99 Grimm Fairy Tales #33 (Cover D Julius Abrera), $$3.99 Mystere #4 (Of 5)(Cover A Martin Coccolo), $$3.99 Mystere #4 (Of 5)(Cover B Sheldon Goh), $$3.99 Mystere #4 (Of 5)(Cover C Derlis Santacruz), $$3.99 Mystere #4 (Of 5)(Cover D Igor Vitorino), $$3.99 GAMES NECA/WIZKIDS Marvel HeroClix Deep Cuts Unpainted Mini Cannonball, $AR Marvel HeroClix Deep Cuts Unpainted Mini Cyclops, $AR Marvel HeroClix Deep Cuts Unpainted Mini Emma Frost, $AR Marvel HeroClix Deep Cuts Unpainted Mini Magik, $AR Marvel HeroClix Deep Cuts Unpainted Mini Magneto, $AR Marvel HeroClix Deep Cuts Unpainted Mini Psylocke, $AR Marvel HeroClix Deep Cuts Unpainted Mini Storm, $AR Marvel HeroClix Deep Cuts Unpainted Mini Warbird, $AR Marvel HeroClix Deep Cuts Unpainted Mini Wolverine, $AR TOYS - T-SHIRTS & COLLECTIBLES 4D Game Of Thrones Dragon Egg 3 Piece Puzzle Set, $AR 4D Game Of Thrones Westeros And Essos Puzzle, $AR Aggretsuko Con Exclusive Deluxe Gift Set, $AR Angry Aggretsuko Figural Mug, $AR Batman Dark Knight Symbol T-Shirt LG, $AR Batman Dark Knight Symbol T-Shirt MED, $AR Batman Dark Knight Symbol T-Shirt SM, $AR Batman Dark Knight Symbol T-Shirt XL, $AR Batman Dark Knight Symbol T-Shirt XXL, $AR Batman Super Powers Maquette Variant, $AR Batman Wired T-Shirt LG, $AR Batman Wired T-Shirt MED, $AR Batman Wired T-Shirt SM, $AR Batman Wired T-Shirt XL, $AR Batman Wired T-Shirt XXL, $AR Bleach And Naruto Shippuden 6 Inch Deluxe Action Figure Assortment, $AR Borderlands 3 Claptrap Cable Guy, $AR Call Of Duty 4 Captain Price Cable Guy, $AR Call Of Duty 4 Ghost Cable Guy, $AR Classic Godzilla Mini Figure 24 Piece Blind Bag Display, $AR Conan Serpent War #1 Poster, $AR Corgi Zip Around Lunchbox, $AR DC TV Heroes Titans Constantine Incantation Convention Exclusive 3 Inch Figure, $AR DC TV Titans Arrow And Canary Convention Exclusive 3 Inch Figure 2 Pack, $AR Disney 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Dead Disco Broccoli Pin, $AR Transformers Skywarp Furai Model Kit, $AR Umbrella Academy Composition Notebook, $AR Unicorn With Rainbow Hair Figural Mug With Lid, $AR Venom #21 By Clayton Crain Poster, $AR Walking Dead Rick's Sheriff Badge Pin, $AR Walking Dead RV Pin, $AR

My Favourite Albums and Games of the 2010s

ALBUMS 100. Revolution Radio - Green Day 99. Modern Vampires of the City - Vampire Weekend 98. Good Kid M.A.A.D City - Kendrick Lamar 97. Pure Heroine - Lorde 96. Black Messiah – D’Angelo and the Vanguard 95. Let’s Rock – The Black Keys 94. Harmonicraft – Torche 93. Treats – Sleigh Bells 92. Sempiternal – Bring Me The Horizon 91. Painted Shut – Hop Along 90. No One Ever Really Dies – N.E.R.D 89. Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino – Arctic Monkeys 88. Lonerism – Tame Impala 87. Malibu – Anderson Paak. 86. Boarding House Reach – Jack White 85. Greatest Hits – Remo Drive 84. Help Us Stranger – The Raconteurs 83. Infest the Rats Nest – King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard 82. Vessel – Twenty One Pilots 81. FM – Vince Staples 80. The Hurry and the Harm – City and Colour 79. Trouble Will Find Me – The National 78. I Am Easy to Find – The National 77. Afraid of Heights - Wavves 76. Jake Bugg – Jake Bugg 75. Arizona Baby – Kevin Abstract 74. I Think You Think Too Much Of Me - EDEN 73. Harry Styles – Harry Styles 72. Strange Desire – Bleachers 71. Here and Nowhere Else – Cloud Nothings 70. The Balcony – Catfish and the Bottlemen 69. Lemonade – Beyonce 68. Flower Boy – Tyler the Creator 67. Morbid Stuff - Pup 66. Meliora ��� Ghost 65. Cuz I Love You - Lizzo 64. Beauty Behind the Madness – The Weeknd 63. Some Nights – Fun. 62. The 1975 – The 1975 61. V - Wavves 60. Picture Show – Neon Trees 59. Little Dark Age – MGMT 58. When We All Fall Asleep Where Do We Go – Billie Eilish 57. + - Ed Sheeran 56. Hungry Ghost – Violent Soho 55. Lost in the Dream – The War on Drugs 54. Watch The Throne – Kanye West & Jay Z 53. Hurry Up We’re Dreaming – M83 52. Home, Like No Place Is There – The Hotelier 51. Run the Jewels 2 – Run the Jewels 50. Trench  – Twenty One Pilots 49. IGOR – Tyler the Creator 48. Gone Now - Bleachers 47. Every Open Eye - Chvrches 46. FIDLAR - FIDLAR 45. El Camino – The Black Keys 44. The Physical World – Death From Above 1979 43. Ye – Kanye West 42. Saturation 3 – Brockhampton 41. Blurry Face – Twenty One Pilots 40. Run the Jewels 3 – Run The Jewels 39. Death of a Bachelor – Panic! At The Disco 38. Megalithic Symphony – AWOLNATION 37. Attack on Memory – Cloud Nothings 36. Starboy – The Weeknd 35. Too – FIDLAR 34. 21 – Adele 33. Ginger – Brockhampton 32. Damn. – Kendrick Lamar 31. Splendour and Misery – clipping. 30. Emotion – Carly Rae Jepsen 29.  Channel Orange – Frank Ocean 28. Brothers – The Black Keys 27. Melodrama - Lorde 26. Plastic Beach – Gorillaz 25. Blowout  - The So So Glos 24. Prequelle - Ghost 23. Colouring Book – Chance the Rapper 22. Kids See Ghosts – Kids See Ghosts 21. …Like Clockwork – Queens of the Stone Age 20. Blunderbuss – Jack White 19. A Brief Enquiry Into Online Relationships – The 1975 18. Blonde – Frank Ocean 17. Habits – Neon Trees 16. Because the Internet – Childish Gambino 15. There Existed an Addiction to Blood – clipping. 14. Go Farther in Lightness – Gang of Youths 13. AM – Arctic Monkeys 12. Pony – Rex Orange County 11. To Pimp a Butterfly – Kendrick Lamar 10. Blackstar – David Bowie 9. Transgender Dysphoria Blues – Against Me! 8. Yeezus – Kanye West 7. Awaken My Love – Childish Gambino 6. Random Access Memories – Daft Punk 5. Suck It and See – Arctic Monkeys 4. Iridescence – Brockhampton 3. Danger Days – My Chemical Romance 2. Celebration Rock - Japandroids 1. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy – Kanye West GAMES  50. Rainbow Six Siege 49. Batman Arkham Knight 48. Dragon Age Inquisition 47. Bastion 46. Heavy Rain 45. Luigi’s Mansion 3 44. Assassin’s Creed 3 43. Inside 42. LA Noire 41. Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild 40. Battlefield 3 39. Until Dawn 38. Control 37. Doom  36. Modern Warfare 35. Valiant Hearts 34. Return of the Obra Dinn 33. Firewatch 32. Cities Skylines 31. Alien Isolation 30. Skyrim 29. Cuphead 28. Assassin’s Creed Origins 27. Outlast 2 26. Telltale’s The Walking Dead 25. Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End 24. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt 23. Assassin’s Creed Black Flag 22. Dishonored 21. Horizon Zero Dawn 20. Death Stranding 19. Rocket League 18. Overwatch 17. Super Smash Bros Ultimate 16. Spider-Man 15. God of War 14. PT 13. Grand Theft Auto V 12. Portal 2 11. Batman Arkham City 10. Papers Please 9. Hotline Miami 8. Red Dead Redemption 7. Minecraft 6. Super Mario Odyssey 5. The Last of Us 4. Outer Wilds 3. Red Dead Redemption 2 2. The Last Guardian 1. Bioshock Infinite

What would a Tales from Weirdland soundtrack album be like?

“Pinball Number Count”, by The Pointer Sisters. 1977.

“Computer World” by Kraftwerk, from COMPUTER WORLD (1981).

The UNSOLVED MYSTERIES theme.

“Fluid” by The Fireman (Paul McCartney & Youth), from RUSHES (1998).

“The Air Is On Fire” by David Lynch and Dean Hurley. 2007.

“The Desert and the Robot Auction” by John Williams & the London Symphony Orchestra, from STAR WARS (1977).

“Blackstar” by David Bowie, from BLACKSTAR (2016).

“The Dream” by Jerry Goldsmith. TOTAL RECALL (1990).

“Un jour comme un autre” (1964), by Brigitte Bardot.

“Lazy” (1954), by Marilyn Monroe.

“A Brand New Day” by the cast of THE WIZ (1978).

“The Lonely Man”, end theme from THE INCREDIBLE HULK (1978).

On se rend sur Spotify pour écouter la playlist

Geneviève Dussault

The Whole Universe Wants to Be Touched - Nils Frahm

20 mars 2018 - Spectacle de Nils Frahm au Palais Montcalm à Québec

Je voyais pour la deuxième fois ce pianiste allemand qui, au delà d’être un génie de son art, est un humain qui exprime le grandiose et communique dans un langage universel avec sa musique. Enceinte de Gaël de 5 mois, je vivais ce moment d’une manière très intense: je visualisais mon accouchement!

À la fin du spectacle, j’ai eu le grand bonheur de serrer ce pianiste si fort dans mes bras et de lui expliquer que je donnerais la vie sur son album. Que “ All Melody” n’était pas seulement une oeuvre incroyable, mais humaine. Surtout humaine. En passant par des moments de douceur et d’intensité, cette musique représente bien l’image que je me faisais de l’arrivé de mon fils dans la lumière éblouissante de ce monde. Nils a d’ailleurs dédicacé le vinyle à Gaël.

4 juin 2018 - Dernière échographie

Moment ou j’apprends que tu n’as plus la tête en bas et mais que tu te présentes désormais en siège décomplété par les fesses. Possibilité de césarienne. Je n’avais pas envisagé cette possibilité.

20 juin 2018 - Échographie supplémentaire 

C’est confirmé. Je t’accueillerai par césarienne. Tu arriveras dans ce monde par la grande porte. Avec pleins d’acteurs et de spectateurs pour t’accueillir. Tu es comme ton papa. Tu fais de l’escalade dans mon ventre et tu cherches les sommets. Tu veux faire les choses différemment. J’accepte avec beaucoup de paix la manière dont tu choisis d’arriver parmi nous et je m’ajuste. Je choisirai 6 chansons au lieu de 200.

10 juillet 2018 - Naissance de Gaël

J’ai convaincu tout le bloc opératoire d’amener mon petit haut-parleur pour pouvoir t’accueillir avec un fond musical symbolique: Nils Frahm, Patrick Watson , Agnes Obel, Olafur Arnald, Rhye, Grizzly Bear, Johann Johannson, Dustin O’Halloren,  La chanson sur laquelle tu as fait ton entrée parmi nous est majestueuse. Sur des voix qui arrêtent le temps pour immobiliser l’essentiel. Le graver à tout jamais dans l’éternel. Merci Nils Frahm. La magie a opéré. Et le vinyle dédicacé à Gaël avec cette chanson demeurera un souvenir précieux.

Marie-Joëlle Gagné

Outsiders - Jean-Michel Blais

Ma chanson de l’année, je l’ai choisie en fonction des émotions que j’ai vécues lors de sa première écoute; et toutes les écoutes suivantes. La fois la plus marquante; c’est lorsque que je jouais avec ma fille de 15 mois dans le salon; elle s’est levée vers le haut parleur et elle souriait. Moi aussi; mais avec les yeux un peu humides.

Marie-Pier Favreau

À la claire fontaine

Ma grand-maman est décédée il y a 2 jours. On s'y attendait. Elle avait 98 ans. Elle est partie en tenant la main de ma mère, dans la paix et sans douleur. J'aurais envie de te dire que ma chanson de l'année est À la claire Fontaine. Une berceuse qu'elle me chantait lorsque j'étais enfant et que je chante à mon tour à mon fils. ❤️ Sinon j'irai avec Ton équilibre de Salomé Leclerc. Une chanson qui provient de l'album que j'ai le plus écouté cet album.

Sarah Normandin

Zombie - Ghostly kisses

Un classique si bien repris. Une chanson toute en douceur comme je les aime.

Judith Paré

Forteresse - Jean-Michel Blais

La naissance d’Élisabeth m’a fait écouté la musique autrement, m’a fait découvrir un registre que je n’avais jamais exploré. Stephan Moccio (Porcelain), Alexandra Stréliski (Ellipse) pour ne nommer que ceux-là.

Forteresse de Jean-Michel Blais me rappelle un doux matin, le réveil, la naissance d’Éli.

Geoffroy Dussault

Je te laisserai des mots - Patrick Watson

Inès à donné naissance à Paul le 20 mai 2018 accordant ses respirations et ses poussées à la beauté et l'intensité du moment. Notre boule de poil a été accueilli par la mélodie et l'amour.

Coralie Desroches

when the party’s over - Billie Eilish

Mon choix n'est pas seulement basé sur la chanson elle même, bien qu'elle soit d'une beauté perturbante, mais aussi sur l'incroyable artiste qu'est Billie Eilish. Tant pour sa voix enchanteresse que pour sa façon d'être si admirable et différente. Cette artiste à l'énorme potentiel est une inspiration!

Sophie Rousseau-Loiselle

You’re the One That I Want - Lo-Fang

J'aurais pu nommer toutes les chansons de la playlist que tu as faite pour l'arrivée de notre belle Élisabeth, mais je te dirais que le titre de celle-ci résume assez bien mon émotion face à ma fille. Celle qu'on voulait, celle qui est parfaite pour nous ! 2018 a changé nos vies à jamais et pour le mieux !

Alex Deschênes

Ending - Isak Danielson

Cette chanson là me transperce. J'ai les larmes aux yeux à chaque lecture mais plus particulièrement, elle me rappelle que j'ai le droit d'être triste, fâché, amoureux, distrait, lâche et surtout moi. Je sens que cette chanson te parlera beaucoup, elle est belle. J'ai aussi l'impression que ce ne sont pas des paroles qu'on entend sur la musique, mais des notes de plus à cette belle symphonie.

Eric Wagner

By the river - Stu Larsen

Dès la première écoute, je me suis senti emporté, comme le courant d'une rivière. À l'écoute de cette pièce, une légèreté s'empare de moi... J'adore!

Marie-Michelle Dugal

Flume - Bon Iver

Le 7 août dernier en fin de journée, mon amoureux et moi quittions la maison à deux, envahis de la grande excitation d'y revenir à trois. J'avais, dans les semaines précédentes, pris le temps et le grand soin, tout en douceur, de préparer la playlist, qui nous accompagnera, dans ce précieux moment ou je donnerai la vie. Une banque de musique, d'une durée d'un peu plus de quatre heures, regroupant plusieurs thèmes; des tounes qui me rappellent ma mère décédée, des tounes qui nous mettent de bonne humeur, d'autres qui me calme, ou qui me rappelle de forts souvenirs, ou d'autres, simplement écouté en boucle, à certaines périodes de ma vie, sans raison précise, juste parce qu'elles me faisaient vibrer. Cet accouchement déclenché fut finalement très long, donc la playlist a joué, disons plus d'une fois. Nous étions évidemment bien curieux de savoir, laquelle de ces chansons viendrait immortaliser ce moment, celle que Téo choisirait pour faire sa grande apparition. Ce moment magique aura finalement lieu le 9 Août au petit matin, sur FLUME de BON IVER. Ceux qui en connaissent les paroles comprendront que ça aurait été difficile de faire mieux. Bien au delà d'être la pièce de l'année, elle se classe désormais dans le palmarès des pièces d'une vie !

Only love is all maroon

Gluey feathers on a flume

Sky is womb and she's the moon

Karina Duguay- Gagné

Tabarly - Yann Tiersen

Mon hymne à la vie

Geneviève Lalande

Le déserteur de fort Alamo - Dumas

J'aime Dumas, l'artiste, profondément, il m'amène ailleurs et j'adore la mélodie de cette chanson.  Il vient me chercher, il me transporte avec lui et dès que la chanson commence, le temps s'arrête…

Marylin Lacroix

Trop d’amour - Marjo

Cette chanson signifie pour moi, plusieurs heures de route, de paysage et d'amour. Après m'être époumonée en 2017 avec Africa de Toto, Trop d'amour est ma nouvelle chanson no*1 a écouté, le volume au maximum en chantant à tue-tête.

Cette année, cette chanson a créé des amitiés, des amours, soigné des deuils, brisé plusieurs cordes vocales, mais a surtout ensoleillé plusieurs heures de routes.

Guillaume Fafard

Beyond - Leon Bridges

L’arrivé de bébé Louis modifie notre vie social; le retour des soupers entre amis à la maison ou des brunchs  BYOB ( bring your own baby) est impossible sans musique. Amis, Bouffe, Musique, Rires; Bonheur!

PS: «Will she have my kids?» oui, c’est toi ça Sarah ;P

Enrico Bouchard

Mes mains blanches - Philippe Brach

Ma chanson, mes mains blanches de Brach, reprise de Bill Whiters “Grandma’s Hands”. Tu sais que j’ai accompagné Philippe au Drums sur cette toune en show !

Jipé Dalpé

Lazarus – David Bowie

J’aurai pu choisir plein d’autres tounes, mais j’y suis allé avec Lazarus de Bowie (Album Blackstar). Pourquoi?  Parce que je n’ai toujours pas fait mon deuil de cet artiste parti trop vite, qui était pour moi et une grande idole et une inspiration.  Même s’il nous a quitté, sa musique elle ne nous quittera jamais!  

Yves Lefrançois

Despite Repeated Warnings – Paul McCartney

2018-Quelle année « poche »! Elle fut marquée par les départs d’êtres chers : mon père et mon grand compagnon de pêche. Pas beaucoup mieux sur le plan politique. C’est peut-être une vision d’esprit de « boomer », me direz-vous , mais j’ai la vague impression que nous ferons encore du surplace au cours des quatre prochaines années.

Heureusement que la scène musicale déborde de talent. Jeunes ou vieux, les musiciens ont encore une fois réussi à nous faire rêver. Voici donc brièvement et très humblement présentées mes sélections 2018 :

Côté québécois : Richard Séguin : Retour à Walden,  un essai musical un peu déroutant qui nous plonge au coeur de l’oeuvre d’un grand écrivain américain.  David Portelance : Un abri contre le vent, un album calme et serein.

Côté Blues : Buddy Guy : The Blues is alive and well, un retour fracassant d’une légende du Blues pesant.

Côté musique progressive : Lunatic soul : Under the fragmented sky, une performance qui montre encore une fois le talent immense du bassiste polonais Mariusz Duda (qui est aussi leader du groupe Riverside).

Enfin coté Pop : Paul McCartney : Egypt station, bien que je sois pas inconditionnel de l’album j’en retiens une toune qui m’a carrément jetée au parterre- Despite Repeated Warnings

Mes deux tounes marquantes sont : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijMiYLiai6Y https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vDVZNOFMEM

Au plaisir de vous lire et d’entendre vos choix.

Éric Pilote

Peace trail - Neil Young

Encore plusieurs bonnes choses cette année, mais j'y vais encore avec l'un de mes préférés en la personne de Mononcle Neil Young. Peace Trail est tiré de la trame sonore du film Paradox. Film ben moyen (29% sur Rotten Tomatoes), mais de la superbe musique à l'intérieur. Accompagné du groupe Promise of Real (qu'on a vu au FEQ cet été et dans A Star is Born), ça s'écoute en char les vitres grandes ouvertes en route sur un no-where.

Carine Côté-Germain

Arnaq - Elisapie

Parce qu'elle me ramène vers les paysages immenses et exotiques du Nord. Mais surtout parce qu'elle m'a accompagnée dans un grand cheminement personnel vers l’accueil de mon deuxième enfant... un parcours plus sinueux et riche que je m'imaginais.

Sophie Laforest

Arnaq - Elisapie

Tirée de l'album The Ballad of the Runaway Girl

Cette femme m'inspire; son charisme me saisit. Arnaq signifie « femme » en inuktitut. Mais jusqu'à présent, je n'ai pas cherché à traduire les paroles de cette chanson. Ce qui en fait, pour moi, une chanson d'instinct, d'impulsion, de moment présent.

Le refrain me donne l'impression de prendre de grandes respirations pour ensuite relâcher le trop-plein.

Une chanson qui me rend plus forte et plus confiante, une sorte d'empowerment! L'album The Ballad of the Runaway Girl fait partie de mes albums préférés de 2018, je vous le recommande fortement.

Guylaine Dussault

Jungle - Tash Sultana

Une artiste inspirante qui mérite d'être vu en spectacle, une artiste qui s'investit dans les rues. Une artiste inspirante et forte, une femme qui est parvenue à se sortir de l'univers de la drogue et canaliser son énergie pour en faire de l'art.

Katia Couture

Choukran - Alecka

Pas une chanson de l'année 2018 mais une chanson que j'aime beaucoup et qui parle d'un sujet d'actualité: l'ouverture d'esprit.

Corinne Barat

Wolves don’t lives by the rule - Elisapie (feat. Joe Grass)

Je ne sais pas si c’est ma toune de l’année mais c’est assurément mon vers d’oreille de l’année! Cette mélodie me trotte dans la tête pendant des heures après l’avoir écoutée! Mais d’une manière fort agréable! En plus le propos s’applique bien à ce qu’on vit collectivement en ce moment! Et l’album au complet The Ballad of the Runaway Girl est excellent!

Philippe Desroches

Clap your hands - Whilk & Misky

En cette année de bonheur, de joie d’accueillir notre petit trésor Gaël, cette chanson représente bien mes sentiments par son rythme envoûtant qui invite à la danse. Laissez votre corps répondre à l’appel de cette musique joyeuse et entrainante.

Geneviève Cantin

Deadly Valentine - Charlotte Gainsbourg

Pour les amours parallèles qui nous habitent.

Dominique Paradis

A real hero – College & Electric youth

Le village est encore endormi ou commence doucement à s’éveiller... On part tôt pour atteindre le bout de la route. Avec notre café dans un thermos, on s’élance sur le chemin du « nowhere », les skis bien attachés sur le toit de la voiture. Nous sommes éblouis par l’horizon blanc de la toundra, les quelques sapins givrés, les multiples nuances de lumières, les lames de neige qui traversent la route, le chemin qui se perd parfois dans l’infini blanc. On se prend la main, complices dans cette millième sortie de ski. Cette chanson joue et on se sent chanceux. …

Nous avons exploré un nouveau bout de territoire. Les ptarmigans sont venus nous saluer. Nous avons fait nombreuses montées et descentes dans les collines des plateaux. Nous avons traversé des petits lacs gelés et glissé sur les caps rocheux recouverts de neige. Les joues gelées, le souffle grand ouvert et profond, nous nous sommes rendus jusqu’à la rivière Koksoak, se jetant dans l'Ungava. Nous avons pris le temps d’admirer des minis icebergs flotter sur cette rare eau toujours vive.

... Cette chanson aura été en trame de moments précieux. À travers l’intensité de notre quotidien, elle aura évoqué pour moi l’espoir, une légèreté, la beauté de tous ces « real human being », de ces « real heros », que je rencontre ou côtoie chaque jour dans la communauté. Ces petits ou ces grands « real heros », rois de l'authenticité et de la force... Sur cet air qui joue dans la voiture, je me sens ancrée dans ce que j’aime profondément, alors qu’on continue notre route pour rentrer au village… ... Les nuances de lumière blanche continuent de nous éblouir...

« Back against the wall and odds, With the strength of a will and a cause Your pursuits are called outstanding You’re emotionally complex Against the grain of dystopic claims Not the thoughts your actions entertain And, you have proved to be A real human being And, a real hero”

Manuel Desroches

1-800-273-8255  - Logic (feat. Alessia Cara & Khalid)

J’ai choisi cette chanson car le vidéo m’a beaucoup touché. Je trouve qu’il sensibilise à propos de l’acceptation de l’orientation sexuelle de chaque humain, surtout de l’acceptation par les membres de la famille. Le suicide n’est pas l’option.

Martine Goulet

House in L.A. - Jungle

Yay! J’avais très hâte à ce merveilleux moment, gracieuseté de mon beau Pruno. Ça fait deux mois que je me demande bien c’est quoi ma chanson 2018. Beaucoup de choix cette année, je pense avoir battu mon record d’écoutes. Après délibération, je t’envoie 3 choix  et tu pourras en tirer celui qui semble mieux s’intégrer.

Peach scone de Hobo Johnson. Spoken word très charmant. Je l’aime beaucoup lui, 24 ans avec un passé pas facile, sa belle voix, belle humilité, beaucoup d’émotions. La chanson Jesus Christ me fait pleurer. Peach scone est sympathique et j’aime les histoires.

Moment de Jeremy Warmsley. Un doux morceau qui se laisse découvrir lentement. Un beau défi de placer un morceau de 8 minutes dans une playlist.

House In L.A. de Jungle. C’est toi qui m’a dit qu’il avait sorti un nouvel album, merci. Je l’aime tellement, surtout pour la 16-17e seconde, la 1m35s, et toutes ces belles petites montées.

Benjamin Robinson-Chouinard

SHE  –  The Blaze

Be loved

Éric Trahan

Faux avant-garde - Millimetrik

Cette année, impossible de passer à côté du dernier album de Millimetrik, Make it last forever. Un album plus joyeux; parfois ça fait du bien de sortir de la brume ! L'ajout de pistes de guitare sonne vraiment bien (Guillaume Chiasson de Ponctuation). Un bel exemple de ça, la piste Faux avant-garde. Un gros bravo à Pascal pour cet excellent album !

Geneviève Fortier

Serotonin Rushes - Fujiya & Miyagi

J’ai choisi la chanson « Serotonin Rushes » parce que mon année 2018 a été remplie de « rushes » de sérotonine (une des hormones du bonheur!) : nouvel emploi, nouvelles rencontres et nouvelles passions, l’année 2018 a commencé lentement, mais sûrement, pour finir en force!

J’ai découvert Fujiya & Miyagi au début de 2018 et j’ai beaucoup écouté l’album sur lequel figure « Serotonin Rushes ». Selon mon palmarès 2018 Spotify, la chanson choisie figure dans mon top 5 des chansons les plus écoutées cette année.

Julien Cyr

Unfolding - Rival Consoles

Je vous présente la pièce qui  m'a redonné le goût à la musique électronique, que j'avais abandonné depuis quelque temps! La pièce Unfolding  qui ouvre l'album Persona m'a accompagnée autant au travail avec tous ces bouleversements que sur les longues routes et les paysages magnifiques de la Gaspésie. Entre l'introspection et l'étincelle pour aller un peu plus loin! je crois que j'aurais pu mettre tout l'album si s'était permis héhé!

Ibrahim Ozhan

All Melody - Nils Frahm

Cette année fut une première. Nils frahm. Le retour. J’ai eu le bonheur de le voir performer pour la première fois à Brighton. Pour la sortie de son album “all melody” Cet été il a réussi à nous faire plus ou moins danser au festival Primavera à Barcelone ou il a enchaîné ses morceaux pendant une heure.

Et jamais deux sans trois. Un dernier concert à Londres en décembre pour clôturer l’année Nils Frahm. La boucle est bouclée. Un album formidable que Nils nous a fait découvrir en live. Amoureux. Je choisis donc le titre éponyme. All melody. Le morceau résume très bien l’album.

Emilia Kudaba

Looped - Kiasmos

Walking down St. Joseph... Driving along the coast... Dancing with my eyes closed…

Claire Menanteau

Silence - Bank Myna

J'ai découvert Bank Myna il y a 2 ans et demi, à la suite d'une belle rencontre lors d'un magnifique concert de Sigur Ros, sur Lyon. Ils sont venus par la suite jouer près de chez moi, dans une soirée organisée par des amis. Lors de cette soirée, j'ai eu un gros coup de cœur pour l'un des musiciens, mais amour non envisageable à ce moment là. J'ai continué mon chemin sans me poser de questions, puis j'ai recroisé sa route cette année quand ils sont revenus jouer dans le coin. Gros coup de coeur qui s’avérait réciproque dès le premier regard, et tout à fait possible aujourd'hui. Bref, laisser faire la vie, se laisser porter…

Samuel Mathieu

Untitled (Fyrsta) - Sigur Ros

J'ai choisi cette chanson car elle me fait penser à mon voyage en Scandinavie cet été. Aux paysages nordiques magnifiques, et à la simple et bonne humeur des Scandinaves, accompagné de l'énergie magique qui rayonne autour de ses pays. Bref, cette chanson me rappelle des bons souvenirs.

Fabien Husslein

We’re not done – Mogwai

J'ai choisi ce titre de Mogwai, parce que Mogwai ne m'a jamais déçu depuis presque 20 ans et 2018 non plus, en certains aspects ne m'a pas déçu ! C'est simple. Joyeuses fêtes et portez-vous bien !

Pascal Asselin

Drive your car - L.A. Witch

Pour l'évasion, la naïveté, ��l'inspiration de ce rock de roadtrip à travers ma musique électronique, pour l'avoir écouté tellement souvent lors de mes roadtrips cette année.

Virginie Gauthier

La vie commence ici - Marianne Trudel

La vie commence ici - Marianne Trudel

Ma découverte de l'année, une richesse de chez nous. La douceur, la technique, l'émotion si bien incarné par ses doigts de fée. Je trouve que cette chanson est tellement bien orchestré, elle me donne le goût de jouer de la musique jusqu'à la fin des temps. Très active sur la scène à Montréal. À voir et revoir absolument.

I know you - Esperanza Spalding

Une autre découverte... Elle a composé un album complet, from scratch, écris composé  enregistrée en 3 jours Live sur Facebook. 7 777 copies ont été vendu (et j'en détiens un) that's it. autrement c'est comme un secret bien gardé, un élan créatif éphémère. Ça s'appelle Exposure. Une virtuose bassiste et chanteuse hors paire. Je suis en amour.

Tuesday, January 4: Blackstar, “Deep Wound”

If Swansong was seen as a compromised final album from Carcass, Blackstar’s Barbed Wire Soul must’ve been viewed as hair metal.  After all, tracks like “Deep Wound” were practically Mötley Crüe when compared to Symphonies of Sickness.  But in fairness, Blackstar was positioned as its own thing, even if its membership was Carcass in all but name, and while Jeff Walker’s snarl seemed to aim for sleaziness over extremity, it was still far from mainstream, and the riffing from Carlo Regadas retained Carcass’ death metal crunch even as it gestured towards hard rock.  “Deep Wound” was a strange number from a group of individuals almost comically unsuited for accessibility, but in its way it occupied its own space, and since Blackstar disbanded once drummer Ken Owen fell ill with a brain tumor, it ultimately functioned as an interesting albeit bizarre footnote in Carcass’ rich legacy.

David Bowie - Heathen

“Heathenism is a state of mind. You can take it that I’m referring to one who does not see the world. He has no mental light. He destroys almost unwittingly. He cannot feel any Gods presence in his life. He is the 21st Century Man.” — DB

Hours... took a serious turn towards the personal and Heathen continues this trend you see right up to his final works before his death. There is undeniably a weight to this series of records that now carry the burden of the surprise of his private battle to stay alive - it's hard to separate now - just like it's hard to separate the 9/11 events from this record even though these songs were written prior to the event itself, it has woven itself into the fabric of the recording process and the performances. DB has always addressed his mortality long before he was even sick or had his heart attack, but the records from Hours on really start hammering at that nail and each one has a sort of sorrow draped over it for me that wasn't quite there before. I know much of that is my own filter, my own lens, and totally subjective (Blackstar being the obvious exception) but it's still inescapable for me.

Tony Visconti is back on board not only as producer but handling string arrangements, backing vocals, and much of the bass work. He referred to this record at the time as Bowie's best work, "his symphony," and it does have a wide sweeping scope and a sense of momentum and focus. I enjoyed this record very much when it came out, but like pretty much all of his post-Outside work it took time to really get under my skin, and some of Heathen required a steady dose to start to feel and understand the effects. There is plenty of impressive subtleties here and the fact that he wrote these tracks *prior* to the 9/11 event (listen to Heathen (The Rays) album closer) is as good an example of evidence as any that DB did in fact possess a fully functioning crystal ball.

Heathen has some notables that are worth mentioning I think. Bowie’s only recorded drum performance is here, the appropriately stiff backbone of Cactus by The Pixies, one of three excellent cover tunes - the other two being a menacing rendition of I’ve Been Waiting For You by Neil Young and I Took A Trip On A Gemini Spaceship by the Legendary Stardust Cowboy - the song that contains the lowest note DB has ever sung on an album (a cavernous G1)

To my ears, there are two major decisions that deeply impact the feel of Heathen; Tony Visconti’s return to the studio (since 1980’s Scary Monsters) and the jettisoning of Reeves Gabrels. More than anything else, those two things in tandem not only shake the tree, they practically cultivate an entirely new forest. With the shelving of Toy, all the looking back and reinterpretation of prior work, it’s no surprise TV was called in, and Heathen has hints and nods to all sorts of moments throughout DB’s entire career that are nicely crystallized by their reunion and shared experiences. And Gabrel’s absence is very obvious, even after his more muted and subtle performance on Hours... and the guitar styles across the whole record vary wildly. Contributions from Bowie himself, Visconti, David Torn, Carlos Alomar, Gerry Leonard, Mark Plati, Pete Townsend and Dave Grohl - so you move away from a pretty singular expression of that instrument (as explosive as it was) to a totally new palette of guitar sonics, and it has major impact.

All that sounds like it might add up to a complicated aural soup, but in fact, Heathen is a relatively simple record as far as instrumentation and arrangement goes, and that gives it much of its weight. It says what it needs to say pretty directly, to a no-nonsense world, from a 55 year old artist extremely comfortable with his craft. It’s a “grower” for some listeners, and was “insta-brilliant” for others; but whatever your initial impression, it’s hard now not to see Heathen as the achievement it is.

“I demand a better future.”