ok ok ok o k so its like 4:33 am y’know so that means i talk about fire spirit because thats normal and i totally didnt mean to sleep around 3 o-o 

but liek uh h h lemme think a bit ok so

from the start before he was a spirit (its in my beliefs that he traded his past life for that sexy little bead) he wanted to be STRONG and powerful so fire spirit skidaddled over to the red dragon and BOOM it woketh or maybe he was already a fiery cookie and he burnded the red dragons nose hairs who knows! maybe he just likes to visit every few years and thats why he was expecting a bigger welcome back party 

so like hes growing weaker right? yeah hes kinda alternating between “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I NEED POWER” and “AAAAAAAAAAAAA I HAVE POWER AHAHAHAHA” and he doesnt like that he’d much rather just be him or more powerful because fuckin YEHA POWER 

so this story ends two ways. fire spirit trying to get his powers back and failing (dustyass lord of ass who looks pretty nice frankly i like the colors a lot to be honest but thats just becuase devsis is making me emosexual. it started with crescent moonlight then fire spirit idk about night raven for sure but oh well)

OR 

dark enchantress. hes like “hurr dburr doesnt corruption make you stronger in a way” and ends up getting “corrupted” but instead since hes already so chaotic neutral he only gets stronger (i stole this from another post i probably reblogged) like the person i rb’d mentioned the horn thing that tommy who is big love de mentioned to because tommy loves dark enchantress and thats about all i know about tommy they also love wasabi and its understandable

im not gonna rant and talk about my internet life so ANYWYAS

fire spirit keeps the same runes yeah? so . yeehaw? idk what to make of that i just thought it was interesting how theyre basically all the same. 

frankly dustyass edgelord is my favorite of the two costumes and im glad i had 15,280 guild coins saved up but now im too broke for the jelly set o-o 

do we even get any fire spirit lore or are we watching him almost die in the event 

oh well i guess BUT fire spirit is really prtty in all his forms the least favorite of mine is god of flame but i still love it of course but really could be better. like. yeah thats a lot of fire and i cant handle the heat and its pretty but its bright and im kinda edgy o-o 

so that explains my preference plus im broke on the internet money i have 20 dollars irl might ask my grandma if she can help me buy fire spirit costume 

almost crying every time i see edgy ass his wings have a little capelike thing and its kinda holey and its beautiful and edgy i should edit him with vampire and he also looks sorta confident

so like hes kinda serious in lord of ash BUT hes also still somewhat him y’know? yeah you do

oh my god i just ghouth of big funny

so picture youre dark enchantress, right? off to go corrupt another legendary! BUT 

you cast ur diddly dark magic and....

FIRE SPIRIT LOOKS MORE PURIFIED THAN ANYTHIGN... chaotic good lord of flames  . 

fire spirit is pretty much chaotic neutral all around besides in lord of flames nothing can stop him o-o fdkljsuadiSKJIOFKLSKL JKLFS JKLFJKL SJKLFFJKLSKJL 

OK SO I HAVE COOKIE RUN OPEN RIGHT I KNOW THIS ISN T THE RIGHT TIME BUT HE LEGIT WAS LIKE “finders, keepers! ahaha!”  I LOVE HIM 

god im excited for tomorrow im getting a haircut and i MIGHT ask for the costume if i feel confident enough though i could get rejected.. . .. . 

dont fool around just chill out you might get REJECTED. .. . . .. . . 

OK BACK TO HTE FOCUS HOW THIS TIES IN WITH FIRE SPIRITS OVERALL STORY SO 

ok bear with me 

fire spirit wants to be powerful, of course. from the start. as not fire spirit yet maybe sweet potato but who knows besides himself and maybe devsis idk, he becomes fire spirit! trading off whatever the bored dragon wanted so fire could get stronger. 

also proof of fire spirit being a powerlover is very much in his relationships . knight and wind ! sea fairy’s is about his hair which is “fire” magic i suppose what kind of hair conditioner does he use

ANYWAYS

over time his flames are starting to go wild becuase of all this CORRUPTION in the cookie kingdom and around and its making his magic funky becuase thats just a random thought i just had like what if corruption messed with magic? imagine that. so hes alternating between too weak and too strong and he doesnt understand so he heads to dragons valley all like “heyo whats the answer” but nobodys there

i havent finished the event but hes basically just looting every dragon he’s ever known like what they left behind? his now 

maybe the dragons will come back home.... .. . . pl eas....... i miss them

anywhoodle 

the thing about two possible ends of fire spirit 

the first end is dark enchantress finding him then boom ur corruption only makes him chaotic good instead of chaotic evil 

(chaotic tends to not follow or give regards to law. chaotic good breaks the law for people, neutrals just do whatever they want for themselves, and chaotic evil goes out of their way to hurt others)

so like 

dark enchantress doesnt know how to take this, right? her magic failed her for once. fire spirit is going batshit crazy becuase hes like “WOAHAHAHAHAH HAHHAHH H H HH H H IM STILL SUPER STRONG :OOOO” and then he goes even MORE batshit crazy and maybe burns down a town or something becuase hes going wild from the power but then he calms down 

he’d probably be willing to do things for dark enchantress if it were a deal or something but lord of flames might not go all the way out to kill tree like what the fuck

ALSO

LORD OF ASHES is probably NOT AS WARM AS FIRE SPIRIT who is already somewhat huggable if ur not fuckin uhh water or ice or if u dont like being a little warm ANYWAYS LORD OF ASHES is HUGGABLE becuase being weak makes him cool down and so you can hug the edgelord (which i would totally do if he were real and not a cookie) 

i like to repeat myself a lot but its almost 5 am anywaysy uhhh im going to talk about his personality 

so hes like really energetic of course and very chaotic neutral he just do what he wana do hes like “finders keepers!” and he probably enjoys showing off his power to other cookies. praise makes him more happy than others and he has a very high ego that can only be doused by less power. the more powerful he is, the more egotistical he is. lord of flames is a fucking pain to be around if you dont wanna listen to him brag about accomplishments and thats the only reason he doesnt work for de 

lord of ashes is a downer and kinda sad but he still has a little bit of fire spirit in him hes basically just “you gotta die sometime” but hes not gonna die becuasei  wont allow it hes only allowed to die in a completely comedic way like he tries to hug wind and hten actual wind blows and he gets thanos snapped by the air and wind is like “OH FUCK OH SHIT” and all that’s left as a relic is his gem and wind archer tries to fix it and fails though who knows maybe hes night raven because in hte game night raven came before lord of ashes so???!? !?!? !? ?!? 

night raven walks up to lord of ashes “bitch im going to fucking kill you” then blows lightly and fires just like “oh noooo aww shit here we goooooooooooo again” and hes just a gem now 

maybe fire spirit causes the next mass extinction as lord of flames because hes like “DSKLJFS KLJ*(UJIORWKSFOR IEKANHWOI JSKFN IJDLASKSF IM SO POWERFUL AHAHAH HUAJKAKL JKLA JAH HA HAHL HAH AH HAH HAH HHAH AH HAHAH A *JUMPS INTO A VOLCANO AND BLOWS THE FUCKING WORLD UP*” 

December.15.2020

I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t think I ever do? I mean i know things are happening but I just I don’t really know. I’m kinda just writing whatever comes to mind right now. I’m listenng to almost is never enough and I really like this song. I couldnt tell you why but it’s just a good song. I like to listen to it but my dad hates ariana grande and my mom says it’s too depressing for me. I can see where she’s coing form bu tI still like it. I don’t know how I’m feeling right now but i do know that im feeling something. Sometimes I feel some emotions but i can’t really tell what it is im feeling. I kinda hate it. I want to be able to know what im feeloing and why im feeling that feeling. I think that’s fair right? why wouldnt it be fair? Its my body and i deserve to know whats going on. I feel like theres a lot going on in my head nbut maybe im just being dramatic., I couldn’t tell you at this point. So many times i felt like my life was ending and it just wasnt. People tell me im dramatic all the time and i kinda gate it but i get it too. I scream a lot now that i think of it. Not like screaming for help or somthing like that but just like scream in general. But only when My dad isnt home casue he gets mad when i make too much noise. I don’t lik ehim sometimes. I love him but I also want to kick his face in,. The amonut of times that hes yelled at me and the one thing that went through my head was hurt him is unbielvable. I think thats something i shouldnt be thinking especially since one time when i was in high school i told my heeapist the intrusive thought i had of wanting to bash keyanas head in with a binder and rip her eyes out with binderclip and i got in a lot of trouble for thinking that. I had to be put in handcuffs and the lady told the school and I got suspended and wasn’t allowed to go on the trip to tre colors that I PLANNED FOR THE GSA and i still think that its unfair it happened. I made sure everyone turned in their slips and all that and i couldnt go just becuase i said i felt mad at her for all the times she bullied me and i finally told someone about the one time i had a thought of hurting her. I told that lady that i would never hurt her cause thats just plain wrong and messed up but sometimes i have thoughts of hurting people. I have never hurt someone on putpose for no reason before and i still havent and i dont plan on doing it but she got me in lots of trouble over it and thinking about it now makes me want to scream but i cant cause dad just got back home so the next best thing is to ignore how im feeling and just be mad about it until i fall asleep or i get istracted by something else whoch wont be hard casue i get distracte by literally everything, I f i hear a loud sound i get startled too but sometimes if a noise is loud but not so loud that it scares me ill focus in on that and investigate it and i think that sa little weird but ive heard that other people do it too so maybe im not as weird as i think i am. One time in middle school i remember my english and homeroom yeacher telling methat i would be an awesome mortician but she said that becasue i never really smiled and i didnt talk to anyone cuse peopl ewere scary and to this day i wish i could just shut tpeople out. people just kinda suck ya knpw? I want to live a life where  evertyhgin is aespme and i always feel safe bu thats never gonna happen lol. i wanted to mention that my ex Dieter texted me and it sent me into this weird tic attack thing where i just start moving my body and i cant help it like i literally cant stop the weird movements and the jerky things and the sounds that ocme out my mouth. the first time it happened i was meagan house and it scared her and me cause like wtf was happeneing? ive had sstudff like that happen before but not like that and it only ever happend when i got overly nervouse or something like that i think i should typing all of this out and just ignore all the thoughts im having but i dont want to but i kinda wanna stop casue i have other things i want to do but this does feel nice to be able to ust type out all the shit thats going on in my head mush. Bye.

Its too louid its too loud every little sniffle or page tiurn or type on keys rings in my ears ike pebbles on tin cans and the fan is buzzing and its inconsistent and is fuzzy sudning and its shaki and the substitute is breathing too loud and cj is congested and wont stop sniffling and theres walking and talking and footsteps and voices in the hallwasy and the lights are too bright and the sun outside the wiondow is too bright and my hair is swiping across my eyebrows but i donthave a hair tie and i can tget it too stop and the pages of the bok are crinkling every timew my chest bumps into them im rocking im rocking im trying ot stsy calm writing is helping i think im rocking im rocking i wanna talk to ollie but ill get in trouble i want the ear defenders from the front of the room but i cant ask i cant talk i cant i cant i dont know what to do this hastn happened at school before i need to go home i need to go home now now now now now i gotta get out i miss my dog and my bed and i miss friends and i miss ollie and i wnat to read to him about how adhd and trauma can impact executive functiong and how daydreaming is a coping mechanism and how executive dysfunction is very apparnett in adhd and ppl whith executive functions issues as a diagnosis are often misdx’d as adhd and how the innatentive traits of adhd are because of executive dysfuinction and how the reason i have so much trouble taking care of myself is becuase of executive dysfunction but i can’t tell myself what to do because i wont do it and i need to find ways to help help help help help help help help help curve pda symptoms / traits becuase i need to be able to do things nad follow instructions i need to follow instructions its iomportant its the rules rules rules rules its too loud ms wood is back shes talking to loud her chair is rolling too loud i need the ear defenders ms wood i need the ear defenders ms wood ms wood mw sood mw sood i need them can i have them i want the red ones not the black ones the black ones are too small the red ones are nice the color is pretty but theyre too far i canr reach them from here i cant walk everyone will looka t me ms wood will talk to me i cant talk to ms iwood i cant talk to mw sood i need them please turn of off the lights please shut down the school its too loud please close the door please close the blinds please please can i have the ear defenders if i cant listen to music can i at least have the ear defenders please ms wood i know you can hear me can i please have the ear defenders please plwas please please please pleaes can i have the ear defenders ear defenders ear defenders ear defenders its nice to type ear defenders its a nice pattern e up a left r up d down e up f right e up n right hanf d down e up r right s down ear defenders ear defenders ear defenders please please ear defenders e a r d e f en d e r s nice good ear defenders ear defenders good nice i like it im rocking less but i need the ear defenders my back and neck hurt i need to read i have to read miles you have to read but i need the ear defenders ear defenders i wanna read about other things i wann aknow about echophenomenom and not mumbo jumbo thats a pun because the book is called mumbo jumbo but also i dont care about it i dont like it its basically mumbo jumob to me i dont weanna read it can i have the ear defenders please

Only a few moments have passed my headache ios worse now my sweater is too warm but my arms will be tickled if i take it off my hips hurt now adn my toes are tingling from leaning on them too much and its louder now there are people talking outside theres now ay way i can read thsi book now miles you have to read the book mmr bush will yell if you dont miles u have to read til page 42 and you have to answer the questions with paragraphs they have a thesis that snot really a thesis and they hjave to have support from the text full examples eith quotations and marks you have to but its too loud i need the ear defrnender i messed up ear defenders i got it ear defenders ear defenders i dont like satying ear defedners its badt osay but its good to type ear defenders should i post this on tumblr or will that be an une MS WPPD STOP ROLLING YOUR CAIR unecessary exposition of my life aNd my brain or will it be enlightening for others and educational for my friends and uplifting for thiose similar to me are there folks similar to me is this art is this pain what is this its too loud why is every one in the hall yel;ling ehat sgoing on its too lioud can i have the ear defenders please defenders ear its better the other way ear defenders the sub is looking at me becuase im typing and im ricking im rocking im rocking rocking rocking rocking this chair is too hard i dont like how it feels on my back i need my brain to slow down i cant take this i cant t ake this at least im not crying i could be crying im not crying no crying that s against the rules no crying no crying no crying i wont cry i wont sctream i wont cover my ears im okay ms wood vcan i please hace the ear defedners ear defenders hace is like make to do hacer hago haces hace hacen hacemos ui dont know vosotros we dont use that around here hacer hacer ah ser ah ser ah ser ah sair ah sair its more like ah sair not ha seer like maggie would say it in middle school middle school middle school im okay im less upset now its too loud i cant read but im not gonna cry im okay im pokay