Bali essentials + winactie

Ik heb recent drie etherische oliën van Bali essentials ontvangen. Aan het einde van dit blog-artikel heb ik ook een leuke winactie voor jullie. Ben je benieuwd? Lees dan snel mee.Continue reading Untitled

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Süt | Semih Kaplanoğlu (2008)

In Yusuf's world, the written word is assigned to the realm of miracle -- in two instances within the film a hand-written slip of paper is submerged into a bowl of milk -- a spell meant to cast out the presence of a snake. In the first scene of the film this spell is successful; a snake is drawn out of the throat of a woman who hangs upside down over a smoldering pot. The ritual brings to thought the interminable plurality of the S: snake, satan, silence, sacrifice, secret, the snake that chokes the woman is removed through the power of the word. Later in the film, when a snake enters Yusuf's house, the spell fails. Later still, Yusuf opens the door to see the snake, slowly moving along the couch. With no effort to rid the house of the snake, he closes the door and turns away. Yusuf accepts the serpent as his burden, and toils in silence.

A markedly more pessimistic outlook than the films predecessor, Süt nevertheless engulfs us in Kaplanoğlu's fascination with our personal relationships to each other. As Tarkovsky is to the universal, as Ozu is to the familial, Kaplanoğlu is to the deeply personal. All of these are different windows into the same soul, of course -- and so it's no coincidence that Kaplanoğlu's trilogy rest so heavily on the gaze of its actors.

When Yusuf receives a slip of paper from the medical examiner, we know what is written on it. But if we didn't, Yusuf's gaze would be enough. He does not crumple the paper. He does not stomp his feet or exasperate, which are signs and signs only of frustration -- but his gaze carries it all: frustration, despair, longing, relief, nostalgia. The eyes can tell us more than any other part of the body.

It must not have been coincidence either, that Kaplanoğlu casted an actor with such striking eyes.

Although I don't think Süt or Bal stand as strongly by themselves as Yumurta, they are to me nothing short of masterpieces. Just as his work concerns the personal, the effect they have on the viewer will be too. For me, I cannot imagine better films. The Yusuf Trilogy is my Lord of the Rings.

omg nimona is so good i cant stop thinking ab it

Required Reading

I block: proshipper, MAP/NOMAP/PEAR, harmful paraphilia or support them (including ddlg), radinclus, LGBTQIA+phobe, anti-MOGAI, racist, pro-cop, anti-endo, NFT, pro AI art/writing.

With all of that aside, my name is Nightshade (he/him), and this is our Skyrim blog. We're a system, so if another alter uses this blog, you'll see their signoff in the tags.

We are bodily 17, so keep this in mind while speaking to us.

As a disclaimer; I speak of my source a lot. I am a very, very non-canon Molag Bal fictive; I wasn't a rapist or a bigot in my source. Please, do not associate me with canon Molag Bal. Fuck that guy.

If you see something tagged #non-canon or similar, it's about my, or another alter's, source. If you see something tagged #headcanon, it's a regular headcanon for actual Elder Scrolls. Things tagged #screenshots and #my art are what they say on the tin. Will occasionally put general, untagged TES content here.

Allow me to offer a song I relate to Rada and Verandis,

I've been thinking lately about Vanitas and Noé's first "what is salvation" fight at the bal masqué and what it means about their individual definitions of the concept, and I've realized something about Vanitas.

Noé's definition of salvation is the obvious one. It feels natural. To save someone is to keep them from dying. But in a way, his understanding of salvation is also almost selfish. Noé's foundational trauma is the constant loss of his loved ones. He is the eternal sole survivor. So of course he wants to keep people alive—he wants to "save" the people he cares about in the way that keeps them by his side this time.

It's not wrong to want that, of course. I don't mean "selfish" as a condemnation. It's just that the definition of salvation that Noé starts the series with is inarguably the one that best serves his own happiness.

And it's the same with Vanitas.

When Vanitas kills the little girl Catherine by restoring her true name, he tells Noé he doesn't know what salvation is. He might be lying there, or he might be telling the truth in that he's never put his definition of salvation into words or acknowledged it on a conscious level. Either way, though, I do think he has a definition of salvation somewhere in his mind, and it's a very personal one.

Vanitas sees salvation as the preservation or restoration of one's true self. You're saved so long as you can preserve your essential self, uncorrupted by outside forces. Even if the price of that selfness is death.

While Noé's foundational trauma that informs his worldview is the loss of his loved ones, one of Vanitas's foundational traumas is the loss of his bodily autonomy. Through Moreau's experiments and Luna's mark/bite, he has been transformed into something no longer fully human, and he hates it. From the moment Luna told him he was dying, he said he wanted to die as himself rather than live as their kin, and he has been denied that opportunity.

Nothing is more important for Vanitas than being able to dictate the destiny of his own body, and malnomen are the ultimate corruption of bodily autonomy and selfness. Altering one's true name warps not only their physical body, but their very being on a metaphysical level. The curse takes everything a vampire is and changes it, and doing that to an unwilling victim is the ultimate horror for Vanitas.

Given that context, of course Vanitas thinks that killing a child to restore her true name counts as saving her. He's restoring her essential self and un-corrupting her body and being, and even if her self is only returned for an instant before she dies, it's preferable to living on as something warped by an outside force.

Vanitas absolutely starts the series with a definition of salvation, and like Noé, it's the one that best serves his own happiness. He wants to be saved. He wants to be returned to his human self, and failing that (since he knows it's impossible), he wants to wipe out all traces of the force that changed him and then die without going any further down the path of inhumanity.

Vanitas might not be able to admit that definition out loud (or even to himself directly), but it's there, and it guides him early in the series as much as Noé's own definition of salvation guides him in turn.

Dang, Nimona sees me

I loved Nimona, which is essentially a trans narrative. Gorgeous movie for a lot of reasons, not least of all the animation.

It's striking how well Nimona captured one particular thing I don't often see in media: How our allies/friends can hurt us so deeply and stand to reinforce the systems that abuse us all.

Bal is our hero, and Nimona's friend, yet he is also in several of Nimona's flashbacks when she's melting down over folks being cruel to her.

At one point Bal says (to paraphrase) "Of course I'M not like this but I'm just helping teach you what the world is like."

I think about that sentiment a LOT. Because in that moment, Bal is 'the world.' He is the person reinforcing the bias against Nimona, trying to bang her into shape to escape embarrassment and oppression. Bal is her greatest ally in the movie and he's also the one we see who most often expresses transphobic (monsterphobic) sentiments to her face.

I think about all the teachers (and adults in general) who abused me because they said, "I don't think this way, but I have to get you ready for the world." Those teachers were the world. They banged me up way more than most anyone else. And they did it under the guise of helping me. Being allies.

Nimona has left me shooketh and this particular thread is the main reason.

I have been this Bad Ally to people. I have been Bal, unintentionally passing on the system's abuse. I have been Nimona, abused by allies who consider themselves my friend.

God. Man. Now that I have the novel as context so much of the movie hits SO much harder.

In the comic, Bal tells her "this isn't you" when she transforms into essentially the manifestation of all her pain and anger. He sees her agony and suffering and goes "But you'd never really do that. You're too good." And that is the wrong thing to say. Because all she hears is "He doesn't understand me. He doesn't realize how much I've been through. How badly I want to do all of this. How much I want to rip the world to shreds for everything it did to me. He doesn't know me at all. If he's actually trying to save me, he's trying to save the little kid he thinks I am. He doesn't care for who I actually am." He says this isn't who you really are, and she hears "Just be fine. Just stop causing a scene."

But in the movie, Ballister tells her "I see you." He sees why she's doing this. Why she reacts how she does. He understands. He understands why she tries to rip it all apart: because of course she does. It's self defense. It's the self destructive urge to give into everything they tell her she is. It's the want to make it all stop. It's her giving up. In this, he doesn't tell her this form she became because she was too angry at the world for abandoning her isn't her. He tells her he gets it. He understands. She's not alone. They can fix this. She can come back from this. Not "You're too good to do this. This isn't you." But "This isn't the end."

At the end of the book, Ballister says he hopes if they ever see each other again, she can see that he's her friend. And next time they saw each other again, she DID. She was so excited to meet him. She loved him so much. And he couldn't save her the first time but this time he could. He saved her. He saved her because he saw why she was doing this. Why she felt the way she did.

I am in shambles.

I understand why people are unsure how Ambrosius would react to Nimona living with them.

I often see fans depict it like a roommate situation but as someone involved in queer found families I had an idea.

I love the idea of him seeing that Balister has essentially become Nim’s dad. Being extremely proud and happy for bal because he loves his child.

Ambrosius respected that nim probably doesn’t want another dad figure and trying to be a friend/guardian roommate. However he can’t help but see Nimona as a kid, because emotionally and for a big part mentally she is a kid. She’s a punky young teenager.

I also think Ambrosius quickly started to see her as his kid too. He just doesn’t wanna be the asshole stepparent who gets involved when the kid doesn’t like him. It would probably take a bit for him to feel comfortable opening up and acting more like a dad to Nim.

Playing a bard Tav in BG3 is fun for a lot of reasons, but also because you get to imagine writing songs about your companions. Some of them are joke songs ("the fire down below" title courtesy of notaficwriter about how you burned your dick off with Karlach, but it was SO worth it, for example) but like... I need to make a LIST.

Karlach's bawdy tavern song, as described above.

Also from Bal, some variation of "darling daring Wyll" for gently ribbing him because my girl Ria decided he's baby brother shaped and responded accordingly

But also a song about 'a woman with a heart of burning gold'

And the ballad of the blade of the frontiers! Fully. FULLY. Ria looks at Wyll and goes, "Oh, I'll be singing about you for a century, and you'll deserve it."

Gale's song could go in a few directions! A dialogue between him and Mystra telling his story? A hymn to a new god? I have not decided!

Lae'zel gets a battle epic because of course she does. But it's a song of hope.

Shadowheart's song is... probably a bit too tender to offer to her directly. A song to call someone home. But maybe she'd like it.

I'll be perfectly fucking honest I'm at a loss with Halsin. probably a straightforward bard song about a hero. I don't know.

But also bear puns. Essential.

The one that really gets me, though, is Astarion. Ria could write him love songs, of course, and would. But she couldn't sing about their adventures without revealing too much. There'd be something, I think, about never realizing red eyes could be so warm or so welcome. Ria's a drow, ok, she's got some baggage. But I keep picturing Astarion jokingly asking where his song is, half-fearing the answer, and Ria handing him a stack of abandoned drafts with a shrug she'll have to settle for now for love songs that talk about red eyes and safety that comes from a familiar blade in the shadows.

one thing I found so cute about Nimona (the movie) was that through Nimona (the person)'s rebellious spirit Bal was freed from YEARS upon YEARS of conditioning and brainwashing from the institute. and I like to think that he realized at some point that by trying to make her fit in one box that just didn't work for her, he was essentially doing the same thing they did to him. which is very transgender of them both might I add

just being casual on discord talking about Little Nightmares stuff when heandcannons drop...

yeh. It really confounds me about "Monster Six", sense we're not given a lot of certified details on what made her turn into a monster. We can leap down all sorts of rabbit holes on the subject, and I've seen all sort of writers interpret the details differently - usually connecting Six to the music box in some way. But much like the children of the LN world, we the player are not given much insight to the world - we're idiots throwing deflated bals at portraits trying to figure out how to reach the next room. We react to the environment in a way that makes sense, same as the children do - overlooking game restrictions and such for the plot navigation. Here’s one interpretation I kind of like to roll with regarding the Tower and what it will ‘provide’ to the loyal denizens of the signal. I had to break this up because chonk….

The music box might've been a manifestation of Six's will, simply ‘thought’ into existence because the Tower will grant your wishes - for escapism. To keep its victims in order to feed on them, but the gifts are in the realm of attainable and very physically present. Breaking this lone tether to the place (the fantasy) awoke Six from the dream, and of course she was not happy -> This was alluded to by the devs regarding the Viewers and escapism. Each time the music box was hurt, the barriers and walls of the Tower warp as a result of Six's turmoil, trying to restore the sanctuary she constructed "for herself", and to remove the intruder assaulting her precious. Thus, it can be speculated that the Tower might link itself to its host subconscious, which would infer why linking to Mono after he is abandoned there, made the Tower so potent - it enabled it to harness his reality altering powers. But the Tower has linked itself to what is essentially a traumatized child, a child with no education, nor life experience, and a dubious 'upbringing'. No wonder the world stood no chance to this beast.

So no wonder the Tower created the "bare bones" paradise for these two kids. Neither had much knowledge in terms of what they SHOULD want as far as a 'shelter' goes. Simply being safe and having a few amenities - some toys, a music box... a concrete room with a chair. That's all these children of the apocalypse know. They cannot 'imagine' a room with a luxurious plush bed, let alone a home with colorful walls, furniture that isn’t decayed. The Tower in its infinite wisdom provides what the host wants, but is always limited to that comprehension.

Nimona OC - Charlotte Swiftheart/Corova

Alright, so I guess 13 people are interested in this OC, so I'll talk briefly about her (and include more if people are interested).

Reminder of the overview I gave initially: Her name is Charlotte, and she’s the bastard daughter of whatever the hell Ambrosius’s dad’s name is. He essentially had an affair with a commoner woman about a month before Ambrosius was born (I always view it as her not realizing who he was until she saw the news of Ambrosius’s birth and saw the guy in the picture). That means, yes, I’m giving Ambrosius a half sister. After Ballister joined the Institute, little Charlotte realized that maybe she could be a knight too. After a great deal of debating and begging to Ambrosius’s dad, her mother eventually convinced him to vouch for Charlotte as the heir to a dead noble house, and she’s allowed into the Institute. She has no idea she’s related to Ambrosius, but befriends him and Ballister anyway. Until they’re all about sixteen and someone leaks that she’s what the kingdom calls a half blood (half noble, half commoner) and the Director blackmails Charlotte into leaving.

Some of what I write about her will be bulleted lists with facts about her, some will be descriptions of her involvement with movie scenes (I will read the comic so I can accurately transfer her, I just need to buy it and have it shipped to me), and some short(ish, because I can't write short things) scenes with her and various Nimona characters (mostly the main trio). If that sounds interesting, please continue reading.

Next (Short drabble)

Early(ish) Life/Beginning of Knight Training:

Charlotte's mother (her name is Minara) probably wasn't very old when she was roped into this affair with Ambrosius's dad. Very early twenties, twenty five at the oldest

Charlotte is blonde! She and Ambrosius look very similar, actually, and it's a miracle no one realized they were related. Charlotte honestly looks a bit like an Asian comic Ambrosius (long flowing golden hair and such). She also has blue eyes

Charlotte's true last name is Corova, but when she joined the Institute, Ambrosius's/her dad chose the more knightly/noble last name of Swiftheart for her

I at least headcanon Ambrosius, Ballister, and Charlotte to be around 10 when Ballister (and Charlotte) join the Institute. No idea if that's right, though

While Ambrosius does fascinate her, she's far more interested in Ballister. When they first meet, she almost idolizes him. She's meant to be keeping her identity and non-noble blood a secret, but she tells him said secret within days of meeting him. It's a miracle that she keeps her "half bloodedness" a secret for six years.

Eventually, she, Ballister, and Ambrosius become something of a trio. Cannot be separated. Charlotte eventually admits to Ambrosius that she isn't who she says she is, but he doesn't mind (if anything, he thinks more of her for it).

She, like Ambrosius, calls Ballister "Bal." Her nickname for Ambrosius is "Brosi" and the boys call her "Char."

Since she was meant to be pretending that she was of noble descent, Ambrosius would help her with understanding certain nobility things and gave her a crash course on etiquette (because as goofy as he is, you know he was trained from birth on what proper etiquette is)

It's kind of canon how Ambrosius gave Ballister his sword (I mean, the B on that sword is literally made from a G and some carved lines. You know, for Goldenloin. Plus I think Nate/ND said somethign about it in a Nimona interview), but he also eventually gives one to Charlotte. I haven't decided what it looks like yet, but she absolutely cherishes it

Was considered to be on a similar level as Ballister throughout training. Street kid survival instincts and all that, plus feeling like they had something to prove to everyone else (even if no one knew that Charlotte was a half blood yet).

Charlotte is a gigantic lesbian (she comes out to the boys when they're all about 14)

The person who commented yes and the person who reblogged yes, I hope you enjoy:

@ammonitetheseaserpent @perfectkittystranger

Goldenheart AU Pt. 2

I got bored, you get this. Enjoy.

[Part 1]

I'm gonna talk about why the Director/Livia (I'll be calling her Livia because calling her "Director" feels weird in this AU (she doesn't deserve a name but oh well)) doesn't want Goldenheart/Boldloin to be a thing

Just for fun, I'll also talk a bit (I say while writing a whole book) about the band members' backstories

Livia's reasons of not wanting Ambrosius and Ballister to get together comes down to three things: Social Classes, Influence and Reputation

Even though Ballister is doing pretty well thanks to his band, his family is essentially part of the Lower-Middle Class; he had some trouble when it came to getting education and his parents had a low income.

Ambrosius on the other hand is part of the Upper-Upper Class; a good portion of the Goldenloins' money is "old money" which has been passed through generations in his family thanks to their very successful company

For the influence part. The Goldenloins have an absurd amount of influence in a lot of stuff, and Livia worries that Ambrosius marrying someone like Ballister, who kind of has influence in the music industry but not much, will change the way other see him and will then make other companies trust them less (they aren't influenced much by him) which would send the company tumbling to the ground

Reputation now. The Goldenloins' reputation is interesting to say the least. They're known to indulge in their company a lot, making changes to raise profits and all in all just keep it at the top, but they're also known to be snob and kind of rude. Something that's interesting about Livia, Valerin and Ambrosius is that none of them fall in the same categories

Livia is the snob one. She is always seen following Valerin around and is often the one sent to attend meetings when Valerin isn't available. She says her decisions are for the good of the people, but often makes them because she does not wish for the lower/middle class people to gain more money and cause this whole social class thing to fall

Valerin is exceptionally kind and spends a portion of her work looking into helping the lower/middle class people, but she still spends most of her time concentrating on the company because she believes her status and money is what allows her to have such influence and therefore allows her to help the lower/middle classes

Ambrosius falls into none of the two categories. He is kind and charming and doesn't mind stopping to talk to kids who are curious about "his work" (he doesn't have the heart to tell them he doesn't own the company yet) contrary to Livia who will more often than not glare at them and keep walking (that's just an example). Ambrosius also believes that although keeping the company running is important, keeping on top isn't. His main idea for when he inherits the company is to make a few changes that will benefit the lower/middle class people only without lowering the upper class people. He basically just wants to start slowly removing social classes until everyone is around the same level when it comes to education, money and food because he made a friend who lived in bad conditions (Ballister) and wants to change society to make it a better place for people who had similar struggles as him

Obviously, Livia doesn't like Ambrosius' idea, so when she realizes Bal is actually just Ballister (shocking, I know) she is convinced he put those ideas in Ambrosius' head and basically tries to foil their relationship to make sure Ambrosius doesn't "ruin" everything his ancestors have built

Now onto the band. In the first part, @echoing-locations talked about how they thought The Shifters (band) could be a three person band with Nimona, Bal and Meredith Blitzmeyer (character from the comic) and I loved that idea

Nimona would definitely play the drums. Hitting something on repeat to make a beat, it fits them so wonderfully. At first I wanted to make Bal the lead singer, but I think the both of them sing their own songs throughout the shows and have occasional songs they sing together

Bal definitely plays bass. I have no idea when or from where this idea came to me, but I think it just fits.

Then I was struggling with how Meredith would fit into the band, which instrument she would play, especially considering she's this kinda weird scientist in the comic, but I eventually decided she works more backstage, with the lights, making sure the mics, bass and drums work, and everything else that needs to be done backstage

So I had written down what I wanted for the band members' backstories but I lost my notes and my memory is shit so I'll do another part about that when I either find my notebook or write down new ideas.

i think it’s really important to know that nimona coming back at the end IS NOT diminishing of her sacrifice to save the city

when bal spoke to her and makes her realize he really is her friend, she turns back to a kid and speaks with him and i think this is really important because it shows how she truly wants to be with him, she wants to be alive, she no longer thinks she has nothing to lose but her life (essentially getting snapped out of her suicide attempt)

but then she chose to sacrifice herself? strange, but no wait! it’s not! she turned into a PHOENIX

she had every intention of coming back to bal and purposefully chose that phoenix form because she’s smart as hell and she knew that she could come back because of it

with a great big phoenix form, she could “die” heroically, give the kingdom some kind of new hero happy ending, put on a show that the kingdom would need to be able to fully turn against the Institute, AND she would come back to the people she loves because of it

tldr: nimona coming back didn’t undermine her “sacrifice” at the end because it was never a true sacrifice to begin with

I love your dremora headcaonons, can I have more please?

I won’t answer this one with a drawing (only bc I have plans to make a whole chart of the different dremora types sometime in the future), but here’s some things I can think up at the moment!

Dremora have to sleep, though not as often or as regularly as mortals do. They usually choose one of two routes. Option one: they enter a “rest” state nightly, which is similar to meditation, where they are still aware of their surroundings but are physically still. This lasts about 4–6hrs each day, where they then can continue the day like normal. Option two: they can enter a “nest” state once every one or two months. During this, they are completely asleep to the point of mirroring comatose, unable to be woken by passive outside forces, unless if their physical form is harmed. They usually choose a secluded, private spot to do this, and a nesting session can last anywhere from 12–48hrs.

Dremora have to eat, though not as often as mortals do, and very often not the same type of food as they do. Most of their food culture comes from their own realms, where they test the limits of their bodies. Most food that is “exciting” for them to eat is downright deadly to humans. Dremora typically only have to have one big meal a week to stay comfortable, though many choose to eat far more often for pleasure’s sake.

Dremora can be poisoned, but they do not succumb to most mortal diseases. They cannot contract lycanthropy or vampirism unless under very specific circumstances (like having it inflicted on them by a Prince, which usually leads to unhealthy mutations).

Dremora are created in specific Oblivion realms by Princes. A dremora serving under Molag Bal is very different than one serving under Hircine, and so on. Not all Daedric Princes create dremora, though. Namely, Hermaeus Mora, Clavicus Vile, Jyggalag, Sheogorath, and Azura do not create dremora. However, Mora, Vile, and Azura accept dremora services. That being said, a dremora created under their original Prince does not have to serve that Prince. Dremora can serve their original Prince directly, or simply live under them, or they can choose to leave and serve/live under another Prince, or even abandon their Princes entirely and wander the planes of Oblivion, or wander Nirn. The only circumstance where this does not happen is with the serving dremora of Molag Bal, who are so heavily guarded that it is nearly impossible for them to escape Coldharbour.

Following the last point, if a dremora is summoned on Nirn, they cannot return unless they either find a portal back to Oblivion, or until they receive a mortal wound. When their body takes a killing blow on Nirn, they return to their original plane of Oblivion and reform. A dremora cannot change the plane where they reform at. Additionally, if a dremora is mortally wounded in Oblivion, they simply die (unless a Prince intervenes).

All dremora have bodily markings. They’re natural and not tattoos. When a dremora’s adrenaline kicks in, their markings glow.

Dremora are ageless, and just pop out that way. There’s no physical growing stage to go through. Most dremora will stay in their plane of Oblivion for a minimum of ten years before heading out to Nirn.

Dremora, like all daedra, value their names greatly, because their names are directly connected to their souls and being. If their name is altered (through magical means, not necessarily through nicknames or something simple like that), their entire identity is altered. This usually happens in the form of summonings—particularly bindings. A mage can cast out a broad calling spell to Oblivion, however, which is essentially an open invitation for any dremora to answer, or to not. The first who grabs this answer is summoned immediately, but these dremora are not bound to their caster, and thus are compelled to act freely, which has lead to the dremora’s summoner being killed by their very own dremora. Specific dremora are summoned by name, and this binds their soul to their summoner’s soul (thought the tether can easily be broken and the dremora still has free will). Summoned dremora are simply more inclined to help their summoner rather than attack them. A dremora can also be bound to an object, which puts them in a permanent state of imprisonment/service. Most dremora will fight this service if bound to an object and find a way to break the tether.

And that’s all the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I’ll reblog this with more if I think of them