#bad feelings cannot get me out here!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nerdgirlnarrates · 1 year

Text

Anytime I’m having a frustrating or bad day, I go and sit with my plants, +/- a book and coffee, and I feel just a little better. I still have my garden, my books, my coffee. That’s pretty damn good.

#bad feelings cannot get me out here!!#recently something has been eating my zinnias though so I am a bit peeved about that #also obvs this applies mostly to like stress and anxiety #not actual earth shattering bad news scenarios #but I’ve been lucky to avoid those lately #and this set up is great for warding off work and school related stress #my reprieve from worries #my content #my text posts

3 notes · View notes

jash-updates · 1 month

Text

Most normal energy drink consumer

#new tags time yippee #cj updates #so there's some old-ish tags here lol #i had this saved for a while actually. just didnt know if i wanted to post goofs yet #old tags:#i will say i personally cannot make fun of him for that #as i was [still am even] overly invested in drinking mnt dew #they used to sell a full liter mnt dew bottle for like a dollar at the stores near me & id take one to school a lot an drink the whole thin #[Sometimes id be able to get a whole 2 liter. Tho I couldn't drink the whole thing during the day [mainly just to save it for later rlly]]#which i would then have after the can id get every morning.....#im better now i swear #tho it was always very funny when i had a class with a friend where id slowly pull the very long bottle out from my bag #the face they would make is always so funny to me still #so i have a feeling i know *exactly* what face his teacher made #either like a mix of astonishment & confusion or its just disappointment #a “why are you like this” typea look #its great #however his story is still horrifying #i drink monster a bit & like one can is enough for me for a day [if i can finish it even]#maybe if i clutched onto that instead of mnt dew during school years id be just like him then #im in the good timeline thank god #rant over lol my bad

112 notes · View notes

hamartia-grander · 6 months

Text

Jesus fucking christ I hate the US south

#Cw gun mention I guess #I was feeling super nauseous so I went into the kitchen to get ritz crackers #And we're at my grandma's rn for Christmas and she has windows in the kitchen that look out at the road/other houses #And NO curtains or blinds because she's old #And anyway I turned a small light on so I could see the crackers and I hear a fucking man outside shout “WHO'S OUT THERE”#In the heaviest southern accent. Mind you every fucking person in this area has a gun bc there's lots of trees with squirreld they shoot #And logically now that I am calming down I know it was just a bad coincidence and he was probably yelling at smthn in his yard #But jesus fucking christ I felt such immediate intense fear my head went cold #Ran to my baby brother's room bc I was certain someone was gonna come kill us #Then the rationality took over and I just told my mom about it. But now I'm sitting outside his room eating crackers bc I'm fucking paranoid #It is almost 4am and I haven't slept a wink I cannot do this rn #But literally the last time I went for a walk around here my dad told me not to go alone and also not to say anything stupid #And also stay far away from houses bc I could get myself shot #Literally what the fuck is this.#“Afearican” except I'm still very much in the US #Not to mention almost every fucking house has a blue lives matter flag and some have isr*el flags now too like #I fuuuuucking hate it here

25 notes · View notes

trans-axolotl · 7 months

Text

have not left bed today + found out another friend got locked up + want to beat up every single adult that saw what was happening to me and looked away or actively made it worse

#personal #vent #suicide mention tw #i need to call her. last time we talked she said she was going to kill herself if she got incarcerated again #i love her. nothing makes me more angry at so many systems than trying to do suicide support with my friends who are locked up #trying to do this shit over the phone with people listening in. trying to figure out what meaningful support we can even give #because when she says that death is better than months of solitary i know exactly how she feels and what she means and i cannot fucking #most of the skills mainstream peer support has ever taught me are useless in that situation and my best is not enough #there are so many places that need to be burnt down.#there are so many people i love who are not out and it starts to kill me a little bit #and cops are starting to fuck with us here more. i've gotten bruised up a couple times from being shoved around #nothing too bad yet but just #jesus christ #sorry for coming on here to vent all the time but my offline life is a little crazy at the moment and half this shit i can't talk about irl #i honestly think i need to like. start learning how to fight properly again. bc i have so much anger right now #and learning how to actually fight sounds like a better idea then fucking off and getting into random fights like i used to #idk. will look into it

29 notes · View notes

chilapis · 1 month

Text

Just came back from the exam, I hope everyone is doing well.

#the exam itself was fine; I finished well in time and the questions were definitely easier than what i was expecting.#i ended up having an argument as soon as i got back to the car though so uh? I don’t know. i’m not really as excited as i was last time.#this did remind me why i wanted to get a scholarship so bad though. cannot wait to get the hell out of here.#i haven’t felt safe in this house for a single second of my life i am. i don’t even know.#i’m so cold. i’m so thirsty. i’m hungry. I’m so tired and so overwhelmed and i . do not know #wow i really wish this family actually felt like family and didn’t make me feel like i was going to get hurt at literally every given moment #two more years and i’ll be out. thank fuck. i hate this hostility. i hate the expressions and the yelling and the violence and i want out #sorry for being such a downer on this lovely monday uh. yeah.#✧.*🌹#vent #<- in case anyone doesn’t want to see whatever the hell this is.

7 notes · View notes

indigopoptart · 1 month

Text

man i love the people im surrounded with. how did this happen. youre all so lovely😭

#istg tumblr is the BEST place to find people #all my current online friends who im close asf with are people i found on here #my girl my besties hell even some of my mutuals i dont talk to bruh #almost all of em were found on here #who knew life would turn like this bro. who knew #its grateful hours rn stfu idc #like yall. i cannot put into words how much you mean to me #im finally getting out of a mental rut thats lasted me a few months (school related) (school just ended)#and the fact YALL STAYED BY ME???#its small nd yall r gonna be like dub miguel. friends do that #but i aint never had that #like the past three years around this same time i have lost people important to me and lost core support systems over and over and over #and it feels nice that im better enough/healed enough #and surrounded by people who truly care for me #that thats not the case anymore. its so liberating and god does it make me want to cry tears of gratefulness that this is my life now #i am loved in so many ways that i cannot even recount right now.#sorry maternity classes gang (group chat) im gonna lovedump later on you tonight probably #man. mann.#this is my life #like #/pos #thats so lovely man.#wanna namedrop yall so bad bc people deserve to know you all and deserve to know how beautiful and loving you are #but ik i shouldnt for privacy😭#ily all tho #even if we aint talk much ur presence is always appreciated by me #sorry sorry ill shut up now😭#indigo speaks #yapping

7 notes · View notes

cloudcountry · 5 months

Text

i love how i come back to twst post about how much i hate idia for a few days and then leave again it's such a cycle

#auburn's rambles <3 #i think about that time when people were shipping me w him a lot #and i don't think i ever really addressed how bad it made me feel #like i told people to stop yeah but now whenever i see idia i think about how upset and frustrated i was #like it keeps coming BACK i can't get it out of my HEAD #THIS GOT KINDA VENTISH WAIT #idk man it's late i should be asleep but Fuck i cannot stop thinking about how that got so out of hand #my poor lab partner had to deal w me that day LMAO i like. cried in front of her #and i don't know why my brain keeps coming back to it because nobody makes jokes like that anymore #and everyone who did sent me apologies which was so sweet #anyways hello ygys i think i just needed to get this off my chest goodnight #FOR CLARIFICATION I AM OK!!!! i think im just emotional rn and i did not expect to dump a whole ass essay here #muah muah love ygys thank u for being on my side i hope all of your pillows are cold and you have sweet dreams

18 notes · View notes

mitamicah · 3 months

Text

Sad Micah hours. Yay.

#I said I was scared about getting my hopes up right?#well I have been hitting myself so much in a head about it that I now feel sad #and then seeing all of you guys being so happy having all these wonderful experiences with the boys #I want to be only happy for you #and I am #mostly #I just ... cannot help but feel left out #especially in two instances where 1) I was close to having experienced it myself #and 2) all this person has written to me about was their 'wow I wish that were me' stories for days now #I know this is my own fault #that me being annoyed is really me being entitled #that I shouldn't expect anything #that this is my feelings and they are bad #setting my boundaries with one of said people however has made me feel even worse #like I don't deserve to meet the band if I act like this #entitled brat as I am #maybe I should just meet up and shut up #not even bother taking my sign with me or the gifts I made #just smile and give out stickers because that is all I seem good for #we are coming very close to self hating territory here #I am sorry #micahs thoughts

11 notes · View notes

grmpgm · 1 month

Text

ok executive dysfunction is kind of ruining my life actually

#i have an incredibly time-consuming project i NEED to finish and i genuinely don’t know if i can #i’ve started which is good but i’m horrifically behind where i need to be and i’m just so overwhelmed #i technically have enough time to finish it i think? but it’s my final project so i literally cannot miss this deadline #my professor is really cool + likes me but it’s already been so long w/out me bringing it up #and wtf am i supposed to say? yeah. i WANTED to work on it. i just chose not to????? like wtf #it’s just so humiliating and i’m so behind i don’t know wtf i’m gonna do #it’s worse bc it’s an animation and it’s gg related and i really really wanted this to be good and i wanted things to be different this time #kind of funny bc i’m actually mid getting an adhd diagnosis rn but it’s just so fucking awful because i do this constantly #it fucking sucks so much i feel so helpless and i don’t know wtf is wrong with me. i’m so tired of letting everyone down constantly #it’s so bad rn i literally cannot do anything. it’s humiliating like WHY can’t i just be a functional normal person #it fucking SUCKS because i KNOW if i had any self control or work ethic whatsoever i could be really fucking successful but i don’t.#so i won’t be i guess.#and i KNOW it’s tied into a bunch of different stuff too but like gd i DO NOT care i just want to be functional #worst case scenario i have an A in the class so if i completely blow it i’ll at least pass? hopefully?#i might be able to talk my prof into an extended deadline but it’s so embarrassing bc i didn’t need one in the first place.#i have literally no excuses #it just makes me so upset because i just keep doing this over and over and i don’t know how to stop it or how to get better #and LOL sorry for posting this here i just feel weird talking to anyone personally about this (+ currently avoiding responding to messages!)#it’s just like. man if i can’t get a fucking grip i will literally waste my entire life. Oh Well! LOL

6 notes · View notes

lorephobic · 2 months

Text

idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?

#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive.#like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love #and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me #she is. the most important person in my life #and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her #like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this #if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh #what more could i ever ask for #but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right #even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be #in just over a year #when she's making enough money for it #she plans on moving into a place of her own #which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point.#but i just. don't know what i'm going to do.#and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing #i thought we were going to move into a house together #i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke #but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year.#i would still want to be here. with her.#or somewhere else. with her.#like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me.#and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t #give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted.#and she's leaving.#she doesn't want to be with me.#sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do.#for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs #its what sufjan would have wanted #fucked up terrible no good week

7 notes · View notes

hexja · 3 months

Text

my job is so kind to me ... 🥹

#will ramble in tags !#basically as i've said 500 times i'm autistic and one of the things that's made hard #is driving. i really want to but i mentally cannot imagine it and it makes me panic.#until i can get there i am Very reliant on taxis and buses. and my schedule tries to work with that #but all week my taxis have been Late. not more than 15 min but obviously it flares up on the report.#and i was very very stressed out about it because i had no control over it and was shaky and nauseous #because i LOVE my job i get to be very me here ! i'm very open and passionate and annoying and people like me :“)#so i spoke to my supervisor about how bad i feel and she spoke to the hr manager and was able to adjust the punch #times so i wouldn't get punished for smth out of my grasp. and i'm very very weepy and grateful.#this same supervisor also has given me space to catch my breath in the back when i get overwhelmed.#and makes lists for me and tells me Everything in instructions and i appreciate it so much #i feel so cared for here and it helps me do my job sm better !#my previous job could neva.#ok thank u. just feeling :“))#tbd.#workposting.

8 notes · View notes

sashimiyas · 1 year

Text

.

#tw discourse #i’m gonna say an unpopular opinion once and then be on my way again #sometimes i see something on here that makes me upset and then i think #‘i really need to be on here less.’ but then i realize… i rarely use the app as it is #but writers love to say ‘we don’t get paid to write. we are not machines.’ all valid points #bc entitlement is frustrating. bc this is meant to be a community of natural engagement and interaction #i want to specify Natural #bc i see those same writers bash their followers for not like rbing or commenting #as if they are getting paid to follow the author! and that isn’t fair either #writers ask for grace when they are going through writers block or a difficult episode in their life #and our followers cannot ask for the same? sometimes we do not feel like reading. and let’s admit it. not every post will be a banger #and that should be fine too. no one should be guilted to interact with anyone #and i think my whole discomfort with using this site lately is how every interaction is being policed #like do we not assume good intentions anymore? can we not assume that someone is rbing without tags but will put something in later #when they do get a chance to read it? or that they are liking because they want to read it but just dont have the time yet?#anyways. i’ll probably come back to delete this #but man. anyone who follows me. i want you to know that i will do my best to never try and make you feel bad for choosing how to interact #with this blog. outside of not responding to my inbox bc that’s just been difficult for me lately.#please have a comfortable experience and go about this stupid little hellhole in peace #don’t feel coerced to interact with me unless you want to. don’t apologize to me for not having reached out to me in a while #it’s okay. please have your fun in any way you want #i say this bc before being a writer i am a reader

45 notes · View notes

weepylucifer · 1 year

Text

We only meet the students for such a brief time, just a blip in their lives. Like the other characters in DE, there’s no way of really telling what they’re like when we don’t see them and when they’re not interacting with a cop. With them, since they seem to mirror Harry and Kim to some degree, it’s especially fascinating to wonder what Harry-and-Kim-like traits they might have that we’re not shown. Like this,

*just gives depression to Steban* sorry my boy

#it's nowhere near as bad as harry's got it. but let's check back in on that in 20 years #sorry my boy! it's not all the time! i make you feel very good a lot of the time i prommy!#but look the guy's literally making a fledgeling Expression in his portrait. i am seeing it i cannot unsee it!#and the role of uli in this is very... he's NOT a caretaking person by nature. but he probably learns to handle this #he's not the voice of REASON he's a cheerleader and often that would make him an enabler #Sometimes tho he IS the voice of ''okay no today's class is exam-relevant so we're getting up and we're brushing our hair and we're going''#posts by me #also i love the kind of love that is like. one person struggling to keep it together but knowing without doubt that the other person's there #like ''everything i ever believed in might be false. but i do know one thing. there's another little guy here and he won't leave''#idk i just noticed like... when harry's asking all these questions like ''what's the POINT? is there ANY hope?'' steban is like...#really struggling? like he never says ''psh of COURSE everything's gonna turn out GREAT!''#like his answers give a vibe of ''look we gotta believe in Something otherwise what do we get out of bed for''#i'd really like to see what that looks like when he's harry's age

26 notes · View notes

13eyond13 · 6 days

Text

Time to start reading The Queen of the Damned I GUESS

#the last/only time i read it was probably like 2006? 2007?#here is what i remember about it #lestat continues being a rockstar #armand is like dating daniel and trying to dress modern in jean jackets and shit #louis is just like lestats cute groupie? i forget if he does anything hahaha he like never does anything after book 1 tbh #but thats why we love im hes just there being a cute passive buzzkill like he always does best #theres a lot of akasha the queen and theres a big like vampire war or something??#i really dont remember a whole lot else at all #also i remember watching the movie based on it and its so funny and so bad fjdkdkss #full of nu metal and shit #anyways im sorry to subject you all to my vampire chronicles enthusiasm #I KNOW IT'S NOT COOL OK BELIEVE ME I KNOW #however this series really is one of the all-time entertaining series to me #and it's like the most junk foody of junk foods for me entertainment wise #i always feel almost queasy after bingeing on it too much and yet #then i want more the next day #i have grown accustomed to a daily dose of their undead drama and cannot go without for very long #i wonder how far ill get into the series this time #i got so mad at how every book got further and further away from focusing on the main characters i actually cared about after a bit iirc #maybe this time i will actually stick it out #i stopped after book 6 the first time around and there's apparently like 13?#and apparently the last 3 or 4 of those are p new and were written after i dropped it as well #vampire chronicles spoilers #vampire chronicles #interview with the vampire spoilers #p

4 notes · View notes

lee-hakhyun · 1 year

Text

the horrors of having a bright cloud of thoughts (my lovely ideas) and no way to condense it to pass on to the masses (cannot fucking write)

#i am not a writer. i can not write #<- as in i think in sights and colours and feelings and it's just too much energy to actually work it out into words #this isn't about anything important actually i have just been brainrotting over lhh/the side story in general but cannot make meta posts #it's just a bundle of energy so strong i feel like throwing up if i don't do SOMETHING about it. <- does not do anything about it #my thoughts on lee hakhyun will never get out unless i am asked pointed questions that forces me to sort out my jumbled mind #i answer asks to the best of my ability but that's easier because i have something to jump off of. i have never been good at essays #at least. this is my one defense against NOT being a lhh kinnie! i can't be a lhh kinnie if i don't write #even if everything else unfortunately matches up #i'd take being called a kdj kinnie over lhh thank you !! the lesser of two evils i think #yeah kdj is bad but. idk actually they're both bad but thinking about being called a lhh kinnie mortifies me in a way kdj does not #cutting this off here because i *am* using this to procrastinate. heh

12 notes · View notes

girlscience · 9 months

Text

the RAMPANT consumerism on the section of youtube I have ended up on recently is actually kind of disgusting to me. if I see one more video of a perfectly manicured hand with a hint of a sweater sleeve putting things in a target cart or using 100 bottles for a skin and hair self-care day or using 50 different cleaning products in an enormous, pristine, white home while a random pop song remix plays in the background I'm going to start destroying things.

#I know exactly how I got here #there is a specific crossover of decluttering/production hacks/workout plans/minimalism/motivational videos that leads directly #to very wealthy stay-at-home women doing sunday resets and target hauls and restocking and organizing the guest bedroom #and 4 hour pre-vacation self-care videos #but it is so BAD. I am not saying don't buy things or take care of yourself or anything like that #I literally have mentioned several times in the past two weeks that I was waiting on packages in the mail!#but GOD. the difference between buying a set of dvds I'm going to use until they fall apart #and literally having 4 bookcases of skin care products is ASTRONOMICAL #I cannot imagine a single reason anyone would ever need that much stuff #and it's All so sanitized and perfected and nothing can be out of place and it's just awful #that girl aesthetic/it girl/clean girl aesthetic/etc etc #and every single woman in these videos is perfectly shaped and tanned and hair done up #and they all wear these matching set workout fits #just oh my god girl!!!!!! what are you doing????!!!!!??#I don't know. I don't know that there's a point to this besides me complaining and being upset #but it's just so antithetical to the way I want to live and I know it's so bad for the environment #and I know it is encouraging so many people to look and act just like that #and I hate it!!!! it feels like we are never getting out sometimes for real #maybe I'm being mean. maybe they are actually very conscientious of the environment #and maybe they are only showing a once a month shopping trip #and maybe they have just been sent a ton of PR packages that they have to figure out how to store #but. it really doesn't feel or look that way

9 notes · View notes