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mycountrycottage · 1 year

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It’s a party in the USA 🇺🇸 🎶

#mycountrycottage #cottagecore #country cottage #usa flag #usa #sunshine #back porch #back porch views #sunset #cozy living #cozy cottage #beautiful #simple living #beauty #cottage charm #outdoors #wv

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kickdrumheart68 · 7 months

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Porch sippin'... I've waited for this kind of temp for MONTHS and it's finally here... even if it's not slated to last. It was so nice sleeping with the windows open, waking up with a slight scratchy throat that warm magical coffee juice out of on of my favorite cups solved. *sigh* Fall is here y'all!🍂☕️🍂

Good morning!!

#me #personal #my photos #south georgia #pretty sky #no makeup #coffee #y'all come fix you a plate #kickdrumheart68 #mine #easy like sunday morning #sunday funday #cool weather #fall #autumn #we dont say autumn in the south #just me #view from the back porch

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caughtonsamsung · 1 year

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Porch Backyard in Boston

#Inspiration for a large coastal back porch remodel with decking and a pergola nantucket #porch #modern #beautiful pools #beach cottage #shingle #ocean view

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magisource · 1 year

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Beach Style Porch (Portland Maine)

#Photo of a screened-in back porch in beach style with a deck and an extension of the roof lakefront #lake view #lake home #vacation home #cottage #lake house #summer home

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gallusrostromegalus · 10 months

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I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.

-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a

~*Spiritual Experience*~

I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.

Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.

He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.

So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.

He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.

Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.

His process for unloading the fireworks is to 1. Climb up through the gate into the bed of his pickup truck (a feat made unusually difficult due to the slope of his driveway, and this man's fascinating decision to wear the world's Siffest and least Flexible Denim Overalls. 2. Once in the pickup bed, he selects ONE (1) box from the pile He is apparently from a niche religious institution that doesn't believe in stacking things. 3. Carries it awkwardly around the palette that barely fits in the truck bed 4. His wife yells "Be careful!" when he nearly falls out of the pickup. 5. He Yells "SHADDUP!" back at her. 6. The Large German Shepherd barks from inside the house. 7. He yells "SHADDUP!" back at her too. 8. He sets the (1) box down on the gate 9. Slowly and awkwardly climbs out of the pickup bed 10. picks the box back up, and carries it into the garage.

Question: Aren't you going to help this poor man? Answer: Absolutely Not.

There's four military veterans, MANY dogs, and several people with dementia in this neighborhood, all of whom are terrified by this chicanery every year and many neighbors have repeatedly asked him to maybe do the fireworks somewhere else. (This is the Eighth Year Running he's held a major demolition event in his driveway, and for those of you who can do math, you may be able to guess the precipitating incident to this little ritual) Additionally, I live in Colorado, a state marginally less prone to spontaneous and catastrophic conflagrations than a rotting grain silo, but only marginally. Our recreational explosives laws are written accordingly.

I am in fact calling the Non Emergency line to report Fireworks violations, and reading off the brand labels to someone named Dorothy, who is gleefully totaling up a SPECTACULAR fine for my oblivious neighbor.

However, while I'm on the phone with Dorothy, I notice the wind begin to pick up. and by "Notice" I mean "The Industrial Saran Wrap he left on his Lawn earlier is suddenly swept up about 100 feet into the air by an updraft intense enough to make my ears pop" And by "Pick Up" I mean "I look up to see the sky has turned a fun and exciting shade of glass green, and the bottoms of the clouds are bumpy and rounded, and the overall effect is not unlike looking up through the bottom of the cup at God's Matcha Boba Tea."

For those of you who do not live in places with Inclement Weather, these conditions mean "You have about 30 seconds before a Major Meteorological Event Occurs."

I move under the eaves. "Hang on Dorothy." I say, nose filling with Petrichor. "The show is about to be cancelled." "Oh, that doesn't matter!" Dorothy cheerfully informs me. "It's illegal for him just to possess those, no matter if he actually gets to set them off or not." "Terrific, because he's gotten maybe five boxes out of a hundred inside."

Sometimes, the weather gods are Merciful and give you a verbal warning, typically in the kind of thunderclap that makes your ears ring.

The Gods were not merciful today.

It's not often that I am in the time, place, correct angle or in a properly observational frame of mind to see this, But I got to see it today. Huh. I thought. I've never seen a cloud just DIVE for the ground before. Oh. I realized as it got closer. That's RAIN.

Sometimes, a thunderstorm will form in such a way that the rain that would normally be distributed over an area of say, five to tent square miles, is instead concentrated into an area of say, my neighborhood exactly.

So today, I was granted the rare privilege of being able to actually see the literal wall of water descend from On High and DIRECTLY onto my porch, my street, and my neighbor's truck, and his pile of unwrapped fireworks.

The sheer impact force of the downpour immediately scatters the teetering pile of fireworks boxes in the back of the truck, like the wrath of God striking down the tower of Babel. Boxes tumble, then are washed out of the bed of the truck by the deluge. Smaller Boxes are carried down the road in a little line by the stream forming in the gutter, like little impotent explosive ducklings.

My neighbor was definitely yelling something, but I could not hear what over the DEAFENING noise several million gallons of water makes upon high-speed contact with the earth's surface, but there was a lot of arm-waving and faces turning red as he went looking for the saran wrap that had probably blown to Nebraska by now, while his wife started disassembling the complex three-dimensional puzzle of interlocking material goods in search of a tarp. They do not have a tarp. They have one of those wretched Thin Blue Line flags though, and my neighbor jogs out in a futile effort to cover what's left in the truck.

Which is when the hail begins.

"HELLO?" Yelled Dorothy. "HI!" I shouted. "WE'RE HAVING SOME WEATHER!" "OH GOOD!" she shouts back. "WE NEED THE MOISTURE!"

I watch for a minute longer, but the loss was immediate and catastrophic- the hail is the size of marbles and dense and cares not for your pitiful cardboard and cellophane, ripping the boxes asunder and punching holes in the few things covered in plastic. The colors on the Thin Blue Line Flag are seeping all over the remains of that it was supposed to protect in a particularly apt visual metaphor. Not even the few boxes that made it into the garage are spared, as the German Shepherd escapes from indoors, and in an attempt to assist her humans, jumps directly into the small stack of not-yet-ruined boxes, scattering them into the driveway and deluge. She even picks one up so her humans will chase her around the yard, before dropping it in the gutter to be swept away.

So. I was raised Agnostic -but even I can recognize when God slaps someone upside the head and shouts "NO!" at them.

---

(If you laughed, please consider supporting my Ko-fi or preordering my book of Strange Stories on Patreon)

#Family Lore #Long Post #Local Man Experiences Local Weather

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yo9urt · 1 month

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i have the retiree's disposition

#mine #i would make suuuuch a great retired old man. i hope i get to do that (<- he lives in the 21st century)#sleep in but still wake up at a healthy pleasant time. move slowly. eat something tasty for breakfast #lay back down in bed for 72943858 years until i feel like getting up again. get up. shower. move slowly #and then engage in hobbies. gardening. music. sudoku and other puzzles. reading. painting. old man activities #kiss my husband who is also a retired old man. pet my fluffy dog(s) and cat(s). sit on the porch #and stare at the sea or trees or whatever is nearby and enjoy the view and my long and well-learned-from life #alas i am 22

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sunflowers-and-sims · 7 months

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Charleston Porch Backyard

Large classic screened-in back porch idea with decking and a roof extension

#rocking chairs #porch #marsh view #back view #screen porch

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paracosmicdelight · 7 months

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I want to swing in the rain.

#this back porch view with a j will do #paracosmicdelight

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tethrasing · 7 months

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Exterior Wood Exterior view of a medium-sized, brown, two-story wood house with a hip roof and shingles.

#chimney #mixed material siding #mountain views #back porch #ranch style home #stacked stone

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marchacampinas · 7 months

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Porch in Charlotte Medium-sized rear porch image with an addition to the roof

#back door #back view #detached carport #open concept #porch

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queer-tier · 8 months

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Backyard Porch Idea for a sizable, traditional back porch with screens, decking, and an addition to the roof

#marsh view #porch #backyard #rocking chairs #screen porch #back view

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v1ckycupid · 2 months

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imagine me living next door to you and going outside on a hot summers day to wash my car, dressed in nothing but a bikini because it’s soo hot.. bending over in front of the neighbours to dip the sponge in the bucket, revealing my barely clothed pussy to them.

eventually, you see me and decided to sit on your front porch, eyes hypnotised by my tits practically spilling out the edges of my too-small bikini top. i see you and wave, which you take as a signal to come over.

“would you wash my car, sweetheart?”

i agree, too dumb to understand what you really want!!

when i finish, i walk over to your house and you invite me inside for a drink for working soo hard. when my back is turned, you slip a drug into my drink, handing it to me with a smile when you’re done. i gulp it down, only to feel the effects of the drug almost immediately like a truck. i start swaying and stumbling all over the place, so you come over and start shushing me, pushing me gently onto your couch.

i can’t protest when you pull delicately on the ties of my bikini, as my head is spinning too much to make sense of what is happening. you take one of my tits in your hand and start sucking my nipple on the other one. i let out a small moan and you chuckle.

“Wan’ hear more of that, baby.”

you trail your fingers down my stomach and rest your thumb on my clit, rubbing it in small circles as you keep sucking and kissing my tits. you lift your head up to look at me. my legs start to shake and open slightly, allowing you an obscured view of my glistening pussy. you chuckle again, and rise up. i hear your belt buckle start to undo and your jeans fall to the floor.

“You gon’ take all this cock, aren’t you, slut?”

i whine and try to wriggle away, but you grab my feet and yank me closer. my tits jiggle at the force.

“Tsk, tsk, not so fast.”

you line your tip with my pussy lips, trailing up and down them, slapping your hard cock on my clit, making me moan. i can barely raise my head to look at you, i’m too weak, so i just let it fall back on the couch cushions.

impatient, you don’t wait for me to become fully wet and force your cock into me. i moan again, the sound hitting your ears and almost making you want to cum right there and then. when you completely fill me up, your tip kisses my cervix and i try to get away, whining about the pain.

you laugh. “This is what you wanted though, isn’t it? Parading around basically naked for the whole neighbourhood to see? Fucking whore.”

you draw your cock out, my walls clenching onto you, putting up a fight to let you go. then you slam it all the way back in again, grabbing one my tits as my pussy draws you in.

“can’t take it all, s’too big, please..” i beg.

you shake your head and laugh, drawing it out and pounding my pussy again and again. eventually, you seize up slightly and cum, filling my womb with your hot load, breeding me. you pull out and a puddle of your cum drips out on the floor.

the drugs have worn off by now and i start to redress myself. you walk me out of your house, slap my ass and wink.

“i’ll be back again, sweetheart.”