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The (somewhat condensed) biography of the average dictator, from the opening chapter of The Dictators (Jules Archer, 1967), which condenses together the biographies of eighteen 20th-century autocrats (Lenin, Stalin, Khruschev, Mussolini, Ataturk, Chiang, Mao, Trujillo, Batista, Castro, Duvalier, Salazar, Hitler, Franco, Sukarno, Tito, Peron, Nasser), eight of whom were still in power during writing.

1934 August 29. Joseph Fralini is born in a mud hut in Bulvakia. His parents are half-breed peasants in a country where the people are wretchedly poor. Bulvakia is ruled by a corrupt Parliament of aristocrats under King Alfredo IV.

1950 January 14. Extremely bright, Joseph wins a scholarship to study for the priesthood in the Bulvakian Orthodox Church. Reading Marxist books in secret, however, turns him against the church. At nineteen he leaves the monastery to take a law clerk's job at beggarly pay.

1958 August 7. He becomes a student and disciple of Alexander Lenovar, a great liberal lawyer and crusader for social reform. The corrupt royalist regime tolerates Lenovar's criticism as simply token opposition.

1962 May 1. May Day. Encouraged by Lenovar, Fralini leads a demonstration against the government. The King's troops attack the crowd. One hundred twelve persons are killed. Fralini is arrested and flung into jail.

June 4. A small group of admirers bribes a guard and helps Fralini escape to Karteg, center of the peasant protest movement. He organizes his followers into an armed band. July 10. With their ranks swelled by recruits, Fralini leads them in raids on large feudal estates. They seize arms, kill aristocrats, and dynamite some mansions. July 21. Bulvakian Army forces, led by Genera Misha La Grande, surround Karteg at midnight. Trapped, Fralini and his aides are arrested and jailed again. September 16. Accused of leading the dynamite raids of July, Fralini cries to a crowded courtroom, "I not only admit it - I am proud of it! My followers and I will never stop figting until Bulvakia is free of tyranny!" September 19. He is exiled from Bulvakia. He escapes the deaht sentence only because the government fears making a martyr of him and inflaming popular discontent. October 30. Alexander Lenovar feels the time is ripe for a liberal opposition movement. He begins to build the Bulvakian People's Party in secret.

1963 March 4. Disguised by a beard, Fralini steals back into Bulvakia with a forged passport and a new name - Casmir. He joins Lenovar, who needs funds for the party. April 11. Casmir leaves for the south of Bulvakia with a small band of "men of action" like kimself, to begin a series of daring bank and mail-train robberies. October 2. With plenty of money on hand, Casmir begins building a strong Party organization in southern Bulvakia. November 10. On signal from Lenovar, he leads a peasant uprising against some big plantations. The landowners are driven out of the province.

1964 January 19. Casmir divides up the land among the peasant and sets up village cooperatives. February 3. Fearing full-scale revolution, the King's ministers advise an old trick - uniting the country behind the government by warning of  athreat of invasion from tiny Pogary to the west. Propaganda broadcasts begin. March 8. Bulvakian forces are mobilized for war. March 19. In the Party's paper, The People's Voice, Lenovar denounces the government for trying to drag the Bulvakian people into an imperialist war of aggression. May 21. Lenovar and Casmir clash violently over tactics. Casmir wants to call for a week of uprisings to stop war preparations. Lenovar refuses, afraid this would give Parliament a pretext for using the Army to crush the Bulvakian People's Party and censor The People's Voice. Reports seep out that the two men are not speaking to each other. August 7. Casmir is expelled from the Party. November 16. A new paper appears, The Bulvakian Masses. It calls upon the nation's workers to support a war on Pogary, pointing out that revolution thrives in wartime. Publisher and editor of the new paper is Casmir. November 25. Lenovar denounces him as a traitor to the working-class movement, and accuses him of having made a deal with the government. Where, otherwise, did Casmir suddenly get the money to publish an expensive new paper?

1965 January 1. Casmir leads a mass pro-war demonstration to the steps of Parliament. January 2. The Bulvakian Parliament votes unanimously to declare war on Pogary. The King signs a proclamation. May 12. Casmir volunteers for the infantry. July 18. Wounded, saving two soldiers under fire, he is decorated for bravery. Accepts promotion to corporal, but refuses officer's commission. "I came from the common people," his paper quotes him as saying, "and I shall always stay one of them - in war and in peace!" October 3. Pogary sues for peace. December 8. Casmir returns to edit his paper.

1966 February 12. Bulvakian People's Party directs a nationwide demonstration against the government. There is postwar chaos - no jobs, a scarcity of food, inflation, a housing shortage. New thousands join the Party. March 2. A delegation of aristocrats, rich manufacturers, and land barons calls on Casmir in secret. They offer to pay for and equip a private army of veterans, with Casmir as their general, if he will crush the Bulvakian People's Party. His reward: a seat in Parliament. June 20. Lenovar directs an uprising against the King. June 21. Huge crowds take over public buildings in the name of the new Republic of Bulvakia. The Army is torn by indecision. Some troops go over to the people, some fight them. Civil war rages for almost a week. June 28. Casmir double-crosses his backers by offering Lenovar the support of eight thousand troops he controls, in exchange for appointment as second in Party command. Lenovar agrees. June 30. The revolution triumphs. The King flees abroad. July 1. Parliament dissolves. Lenovar fills its empty seats with members of the Party. July 2. Huge victory celebrations all over Bulvakia. July 26. In a lightning move, Casmir suddenly ousts Lenovar from leadership of the Republic, placing him under arrest for treason. The charge against Lenovar is "fostering a cult of personality" - seeking personal power. July 28. After a carefully arranged demonstration in his behalf, Casmir appears in Parliament. Stooges hail him as "Casmir the Incorruptible". He promises the new Republic shall become "a great paradise for Bulvakian workers, peasants, and patriots." Members are compelled to rise and swear an oath to defend the life of their new leader. August 13. In a surprise move, Lenovar's supporters in Parliament propose and win a vote for national elections. August 14. Casmir dissolves Parliament as "a nest of traitors," and has all the doors bolted shut. August 20. Lenovar is given a secret trial and sent into exile. There is a tacit understanding among Bulvakian revolutionary leaders that the penalty for losing  a struggle for power should be exile, rather than execution. September 1. The nation's controlled press begins a chorus of praise for "Casmirism" - the new movement which is going to "rebuild Bulvakian society." September 10. Casmir ousts General La Grande, taking over control of the Army as Generalissimo. Some high officers opposed to him are exiled. Those he needs are bribed with opportunities for graft and plunder. To purchase the loyalty of the troops, he raises the Army's pay. October 1. His first Five-Year Plan begins. To change Bulvakia from an agrarian to an industrial nation, he asks the people to work long hours for low pay. Their patriotic sacrifice will build the factories and heavy machinery that the nation needs. Casmir promises they will be rewarded by a better life in just a few years. October 10. He puts every corporation, labor union, and municipal and social organization under his control. Companies to which he awards government contracts pay him "executive dividends," deposited for him in bank accounts overseas. November 3. Begins nationwide program of building roads, dredging harbors, digging irrigation ditches. Issues strict orders that all trains must run exactly on time. New public buildings, stadiums, and statues are built in the capital. When the State Treasurer complains that the government has no money left, Casmir snaps, "Print more!" November 21. New posters everywhere educate the people in "the new culture of Casmirism." They must wear shoes in public. All streets must be kept clean. Fingernails must not be dirty. "Bulvakians - be worthy of the Generalissimo!" December 3. General La Grande leads a desperate counter-revolution with a small force. He is swiftly defeated. December 7. La Grande is reported a "suicide" in jail.

1967 January 15. "Night of the Long Knives." Forty Party officials are murdered in their beds after midnight, as Casmir purges all he suspects of unreliable loyalty, or as dangerous rivals for power. March 6. He forms the Casmirist Youth Corps. Black-uniformed youths of ten to sixteen are to be given knives, taught Party slogans, used to break strikes. Medals will reward those who report parents for "unpatriotic" remarks. Corps motto: "Believe, Obey, Fight - for the Generalissimo!" May 7. First elections of the Republic. Voters have a choice of voting for or against Casmir as President. There are no other candidates. He wins a "sweeping victory." June 10. Denied loans from abroad, Bulvakia's shaky economy begins to collapse. Banks and businesses shut down; workers are thrown out of jobs; food piles up unmarketed and unsold. Spontaneous riots break out in the cities. June 20. Casmir broadcasts a thundering accusation against "the real cause of Bulvakia's troubles - the traitorous Jens of the world, who hate us and want to see us starve to death!" He orders a pogrom against Bulvakia's Jens. June 21. Jens are stoned, tortured, and burned alive. June 30. Casmir gives the people another scapegoat - the Lenovariks. "Any worker who talks against the government, or against the President-Generalissimo - he is a Lenovarik traitor!" Secret police make thousands of arrests. August 1. Casmir wins a fifteen-million-dollar loan from the great Federal States by convincing them Bulvakia is in danger of being overthrown by Chipanese revolutionaries operating in Bulvakia. There are exactly seven Chipanese in Bulvakia, but the Federal States doesn't know that. August 8. By instigating worker riots, Casmir takes over and nationalizes eighty million dollars' worth of foreign-owned factories. He sells some secretly to Bulvakian tycoons. September 20. Treasury full once more, Casmir orders government stores to sell black bread and rice wine at low prices to peasants and workers to allay unrest. September 27. Nations whose investments have been confiscated stop trading with Bulvakia. October 18. To convince the people all is well, Casmir puts on great public spectacles. Huge crowds flock to see these shows and circuses. Often the pressure of the crowd is so great that people are crushed to death. December 23. Casmir elevates Bulvakian Orthodox Church to position of a state religion; all other religions are forbidden. The High Patriarch calls Casimir "a great patriot and a devout servant of the Lord". December 27. Treasures warns economic boycott is bankrupting Bulvakia. Factories shutting down, unemployment spreading; farmers with unsold crops forming angry mobs.

1968 January 31. Civil war breaks out in neighboring Gerfrancia. February 8. Casmir declares war on northern Gerfrancia, hoping war will avert a domestic crisis, and a wartime economy will provide jobs. He also hopes for victor's spoils. February 10. High Patriarch blesses his "holy crusade". February 21. Lenovar returns secretly from exile. March 26. Draftees revolt against being sent to intervene in Gerfrancia's civil war. Some officers shot. April 5. Anti-war demonstrations break out all over Bulvakia, led by supporters of Lenovar. April 12. Troops and workers join in a mass attack on government buildings. Their revolution succeeds. May 4. Casmir flees the country in disguise. May 8. He arrives in Pogary, which has offered him asylum. He will live here in exile on the fortune banked for him while he was Generalissimo of Bulvakia. The fortune is estimated at between eight and fifteen million dollars.

A Pedestal Man: larry austin

Short Story - Weekend Serenity

The Music was loud and the wings were sizzling on what was a sunny, cool and breezy Saturday afternoon.  “I’m going to have a few over, not too many”, said Rodney, who was one of my more humors male friends.  Apparently his definition of the word few interprets as short skirts all over the place.  Hi, I’m Larry Austin and this little “get together” Rodney is hosting was supposed to be several of my buddies and a couple of girls.  I spelled it out to Rodney plain and clear, only a couple because I couldn’t deal with another attack after Kisha.

What the hell’s wrong with these girls like Kisha?  They see a really tall man like my self and somehow assume I can do something for them a shorter man can’t and because of that, the nibbling never stops.  God, I thought I was going to die from protein loss given the way Kisha was taking those loads down.  What pisses me off is when your heart is pausing, your breath is thin, your head’s spinning and your chest is up against your chin, telling girls like Kisha to slow down or give it a rest just ends up having the opposite effect of what was attended.  I bet if I was a half head shorter than her in height, she wouldn’t have acted so freaking hungrily.

Anyway,

So there I was at this barbeque with some of my buddies and some of my buddies’ buddies and more chicks than you can shake a cross at.  That which lurks underneath all the short skirts bouncing around Rodney’s yard was hot as Hell itself, but I tell you the beer was on ice, just the way I like.  As I looked around at this lovely attendance, it didn’t take me long to realize I was the tallest guy under the sun at the moment and that had me worried.  You know what?  I’m just being silly because there are some good looking guys here who are well groomed and no reason at all for the hot “mamas” strutting around to over look these guys.  With that thought, I felt some peace come over me and the thoughts of another “Kisha attack” were fading away.

Kicked back on one of Rodney’s patio recliners, I popped open a cold beer while gazing up at the sky.  I was thinking about how I was so going to tear up those wings being flipped over by “my boy” Rodney but such an edible thought was interrupted as something massive flopped across my body.  I looked down at my waist only to see one of the thickest, most well defined and smooth thigh I have ever seen in my life.  I was hesitant to look over at my side to see exactly which babe owned such a “nutt buster” of a leg.

Lord behold…  Green eyes, brunette hair, perfect facial structure and a smile created solely for the purpose of getting laid.  “Nice hamhock you got there mam”, I so idiotically blurted out.  Way to go Larry!  Now the girl’s letting that ball draining giggle creep from that gorgeous face of hers, which is already sending ice cold shivers up my spine.  “You must be Larry?  Your friend Rodney told me a lot about you”, she said.  “Oh really?  How did you even know it was me, love?” I replied.  “Well, he said you were a really tall guy so it wasn’t hard to figure out.”

There’s that word again…tall.  I tell you, every time I hear that one word things always turn out the worst for me when it comes to women I just “wanna” be friends with.  Take today for example…  I just “wanna” drink some beer, eat some “grub” off the grill and make hilarious jokes with the guys.  Why is it I have the feeling I’m going to end up separated from everyone else, alone with one of these man killers called woman, who will most likely be breathing up and down my neck as she rips through my clothing like a shark sticking its sweet tooth to prey?

“Well since you know my name I guess it’s only fair you tell me yours”, I said.  She let loose a smile shaped by the devil him self as she let it slip from her lips.  “It’s Tammy.”  At that moment I realized my chest supported some added weight.  Don’t get me wrong, I do have a big chest but I could feel a pound or two more tacked on.  I dipped my chin to see how much trouble I was in already and good God almighty…Tammy’s watermelons were laying across my “pecs” like a five hundred pound walrus.

Jesus Christ, why didn’t this girl wear a bra!?  Doesn’t she understand, beasts that huge can accidentally swing a man’s way, break his neck, educe a coma and when he wakes up, some doctor is telling him he’s paralyzed from the neck down!?  “Shouldn’t you be over there dancing with one of those studs sweet heart?  I tell you what…let me introduce you to one of my pals.  You’ll like him because he’s a real good guy.”  I then started to “uprise” from the recliner only to meet the palm of Tammy’s hand as it shoves me back downward.  “I don’t like any of those guys, they’re too short”, she said.

Too short…?  What the hell is this woman talking about?  The shortest guys here is like five foot seven and she only appears to be five foot seven her self and that’s with the three inch heels added.  It was that instance I felt my very soul curl into a ball within my flesh.  One of Tammy’s hands was carefree exploring the depths of my crotch, without one word of consent from the guy it’s attached to…me.

Here we go again with another chick who for some unknown reason feels she needs to be with a man standing near seven feet tall.  Why does society do this?  What’s the point in brainwashing these “PTYs” into thinking men must be taller than women?  It’s not like I can offer her more protection or something.  God knows if a barrel suddenly raised in this direction with threat to fire, I would quickly grab Tammy and lay her on top of me as if I was closing my own coffin door…except for the fact Tammy would be dead and I would still be breathing, hopefully.

I felt the tip of Tammy’s nose as she brought her mouth close to my ear.  “Come upstairs with me, please.”  Those were the deadly words whispered in my ear by Tammy but I bounced back quickly with a counter attack.  “You know, this is my bud’s house and I don’t know if he…” but she cuts me off and says, “Rodney already said it would be ok.  I asked him before I even came over here.”

Never in my life have I met such a devil!  I can’t believe she already had spun a trap for me and one of my own best friends aided her in her quest to empty my balls!  Crap, I haven’t even converted one chicken wing into a “turd” but yet Tammy was ready to suck up any energy I currently had; like count Dracula in the presence of a virgin’s neck with a clear path!  “Wait a minute baby, are you sure?  Just look around at all the guys here.”   That was my last second attempt to save a peaceful barbeque weekend that was suppose to be all fun and games without any “rump downs” involving Larry Austin.  Tammy jumped on top of me and her voice was like a general commanding a soldier as she said, “Don’t mess with me boy!  You’re big so that makes you Papa Smurf!”

Before I could get another word out Tammy’s nose was pressed against my face and her tongue was thrashing across my tonsil.  “Down boy!” I thought as I felt my manhood absorbing “gamma” radiation as it tried to transform into a long, thick, white, mean, “beaver” killing machine.  There I was being led by hand towards Rodney’s front door where I will apparently take that long walk of dread upstairs, ending with me face to face with a drop dead gorgeous creature called Tammy.

Man I tell you…  I don’t know what was bouncing more…my heart or those huge knockers glued to Tammy’s slender, curvy frame.  Of course, Tammy’s “bootylicious” posterior was the undisputed runner up in that little bounce contest.  Unfortunately my time has run out and I now find my self sitting on the end of a bed in one of Rodney’s many rooms.  Tammy was standing in front of me slowly taking off her clothing.  I couldn’t help but notice how she was staring at me with that upturned lip and cringed nose.  You know, the type of look someone may put on their face when they’re thinking about something extremely filthy and unholy.

Man, I was about to crap in my pants because I probably knew better than most men...  When a woman gets that kind of look across her face in the bedroom, you know she’s going to get ridiculously nasty!  I can’t stand not knowing what this woman is about to do to me and therefore sat there like a kid awaiting a thrashing for bringing home an “F” on his report card.  Tammy suddenly snapped her fingers at me, “Get out of that stuff, now!”

The tone of her voice sent me into a frenzy as I stripped off threads left and right; anything to not piss her off and add to the destruction she was already going to hand me.  Given the desperate and tense look across her face, I would say Tammy’s going to hand me my own “meat stick” on a silver platter!  The moment my pants hit my ankles, Tammy’s eyes stretched wide open and her jaw scraped against the carpet as the drool tried to make its way over her bottom lip.

I felt my body jump as Tammy sprang into forward motion.  “Oh God help me” I thought to my self as Tammy hurled her self down in front of me and engulfed my manhood all in one violent motion.  With the speed and power Tammy’s displaying right now, it sure as hell won’t take her long to get to the center of my “tootsie pop.”  Why must this happen over and over again?  Am I asking society for too much when I ask for one weekend as a normal guy, instead of the usual idol tall men have been made out to be?

One thing’s for sure, I was mad as hell at “my boy” Rodney because he gave this girl permission to do this to me in his own home!  Now that bastard is down there in the yard enjoying those grilled wings with ice cold beer, laughing at the countless number of jokes being made by the guys, while I’m stuck here with this “damphire” draining me dry!  Why is she doing this!?  I just met her only moments ago and we sure as hell didn’t exchange enough words to pay dividends for all this!  I so wish I had a magic wand with the powers to transform my self into a man standing five foot three right about now.  That would sure as hell get Tammy off of me because society doesn’t agree with girls doing what she’s doing right now to men of that nature; which is retarded because men like that and men like me…we’re the same nature.

I couldn’t help but hold the bed for support as my body quivered, abdomen tightened and strength threatened to leave my body at any moment now.  Tammy suddenly rises up and hops onto the bed knees first as she bends over, covers her “beaver” with one hand, looks back at me and says, “Just shove it in.”  Who the hell does this girl think she is!?  First she drops to her knees and start draining the life out of me and now she wants me to pretend I’m her bell boy…give me a break already!

This girl is so lucky I’m a gentlemen when it comes to a lady’s requests, otherwise I would have walked out of that room and left her enormously round backside right there on that bed.  It turns out this witch left a hole in her grand scheme…there was no lube!  “Sweetheart, maybe we should hold off on this and just get to know each other better.  Besides, we don’t have any lube and spit never works for that, know what I mean?”

Tammy then turns around, lunges up on me like a kitten, kisses me and says, “You’re sweet but no worries.  I lubed up before I left home.”  At that moment the entire room started to spin around me like I was being sucked into a black hole.  Tammy couldn’t look more evil as she repositions her self all while rolling out that devilish giggle she tossed my way back in the yard.  She then starts to “make it wink” so I can see the clear substance she had already lining her dark tunnel walls.

This is not what I wanted…  I was hoping to just talk with the girls at the “get together” I was suppose to be having, not all of this!  This is the reason I’m single right now!  There’s no way for men like me to ever just settle down with one chick and maybe get married.  The category of men society has placed me in is the one where illegitimate children are born, it’s the one where married men are humping their secretaries at work, it’s the one where a girl’s best friend “rumps” her boy friend, it’s the one where men toss away good wives for temping “PYTs”, it’s the one where single parent mothers are born and it’s the one where men like me can never be truly happy in life.

Larry Austin