#at least while she's alive
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What Yato really wants
There is something bothering me since the last chapter (103-1)... Yato wants to die...
He doesn't have the strength or will to get up and fight for his life anymore. And he's not wishing for someone to save him before it's too late either. He is wishing for a quick death, not to be saved. He doesn't seem to have a will to live anymore. I read this panels in shock. Yato is the character that time after time has shown an unbreakable love for life and the strongest will to keep existing. The Yato we knew has always wished to live no matter what. He taught Ebisu to appreciate his life, to clung to life and not want to be replaced by reincarnating.
If a reason to make him want to die now existed, what would that be? What could possibly have changed that could make him want to die?
It's not because of his past. Sure he has always been haunted by his past and there's so much he regrets but he lived more than a thousand years with those regrets and never wanted to pay for them by dying, dispites he believing that's what he deserves.
This time he hasn't once think about what would feel like to get out alive and be reunited with Hiyori and Yukine like he has envisioned other times before when his life was in danger. This time he has envisioned himself so many times as a reincarnated child that is like he wants to be replaced by a younger version of him. Like if that was the best possible outcome for everyone. Better for whom exactly?
After he decided to kill Father to put an end to the calamity to protect everyone specially Yukine and Hiyori, he thinks about how a new gentler version of himself would be good for Yukine.
But that's not it either. That thought was after he already decided to go on a suicide mission. He was doing the aftermath of his decision that's all.
The real reason why he made the decision was because he read Hiyori's journal, we already know that much. While he read it, blushing, he had to realize that Hiyori is in love with him.
Hiyori herself acknowledge that her feelings are evident from what she wrote. Of course this made Yato really happy. But why instead of make him hopeful and wishing to return to her side like he wished in the yomi arc, he's now wishing for a quick death? He made the promised to Amaterasu before to risk his life and go kill Father but he wasn't intending to die. Hiyori's words not only give them the strength and motivation he needed to do what he had to do but completely change the way he regarded his own life.
He has shown during this arc that he doesn't care what happens to him anymore but the last chapter even make it seems like he does wants to die. He's literally thinking "Yeah that sounds good. Hurry up and finish me off"
Why is he not fighting for his life anymore? Why is he giving up and accepting death? Could reading Hiyori's thoughs and learning about her feelings make him not only want to risk his life but actually wanting to die and reunite with them after reincarnating?
Is it possible some part of Yato wants to die for Hiyori's sake?
The thing is, Yato doesn't want to robe Hiyori from his human life. He has change and mature a lot as a God since the first failed marriage proposal. He rejected her in the hospital arc saying he couldn't take her with him to the far shore until she's an old woman. He tried to find her a suitable match in Kamuhakari, a good man to tie her plaque with. He never intended to tie his plaque with Hiyori's like Kofuku did.
His feelings have evolved from "I'll make Hiyori the happiest person in the world" (chapter 27) to "I'm going to make sure she's happy" (chapter 82.5) Meaning he'll not be the one to make her happy. Going so far as to say that she's going to have dozens of grandchildren and marry an up-standing, self-sufficient man, then starts drunk crying at the thought of Hiyori getting married.
He is so in love with her and protective of her that he won't allow to take Hiyori for himself, not only because he considers himself to not be worthy of her but because they belong to different worlds. Yato wants the best for Hiyori, he wants her to experience and have a full human life, that she have the opportunity to become whatever she wants to become and have things he can't be or give her... children, grandchildren, a husband that would provide for her family, that at least won't be a burden to her economically and socially, that can keep her company, be seen by humans and grow old with her. He can't be someone that can provide her with a fulfilling human life. He is a God, it is his job to make sure she appreciates and seizes her life to the max.
Therefore, the fact of knowing her feelings makes things more complicated for her to have a normal human life. If the feelings were only on his side, he already committed to push down his feelings (the best he can) so he wasn't going to get in her way. But by the feelings being mutual it'd be far more complicated to ignore them and keep away from each other. So maybe he's considering himself, his current memories and feelings an obstacle for Hiyori's life and thinks it'd all be solve if he reincarnates. His feelings would go away and he we'd be destroying any romantic connection by turning himself into a child. Maybe he thinks he'd even be saved from the pain of seeing the woman he loves marrying another man.
Honestly I can't see them being together while Hiyori is alive because of Yato's strong wish that she has a happy fulfilling life to honor the gift she was given, to honor the opportunity she has that was robbed from Yukine, Sakura and all other shinkis.
After all Adachitoka have always tried to express through Yato the importance of appreciating the life we were given. Hiyori's death now would be a punch to the stomach to that principle so I believe Hiyori will survive and die of old age. Yato and Yukine will always protect her. And I'll be in my corner crying as hard as Yato will cry when Hiyori gets married T-T
#Yato won't take Hiyori for himself#at least while she's alive#honestly he loves her so much#he wants her to have it all#seriously I still hope the trio will survive this#noragami thoughts#noragami analysis#fan theory#noragami#manga#yato#hiyori#yatori#manga spoilers until chapter 103-1
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Some rw stuff
#rain world#art#rivulet#artificer#hunter#moon#nsh#First one is based on some ship art we found#Second one is discord#Third one is for a shitpost I can't share cuz it's the b*tchy b*mbos one and it's doesn't vibe with my blog#Fourth one is me (dead and trying to explain the revivify mod) my friend's gf (alive and trying to revive with really bad lag)#And my friend (also dead and getting revived)#We were all arti and in subterranean#We- the two significantly more experienced players- died in this huge war trying to escape a pipe#So she's trying to get at least one of us alive to save her but while she's struggling#More and more enemies and scavs are trying to get thru this pipe#So there's this absolute pile of bodies surrounding us and it just keeps getting larger while the enemies fight#She eventually died to a scav that somehow got thru#Last one I don't even remember
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I still refuse to draw detailed faces
I saw and absolutely ADORED @palipunk 's Inquisitor x Cullen painting in kind of a redraw over a classical painting and I couldn't get it out of my head to try and do the same thing with my inky and Cullen. Anyways check out their art because great tits it's breathtaking.
EDIT BECAUSE I AM A FOOL:
I accidentally referenced a painting by a lovely artist on Deviantart!!! I genuinely thought it was some old painting. Tiktok, while it has lovely edits of paintings, it's not exactly a reliable place for era accurate paintings. I probably should've just scoured my art history books for references in honesty. Please check out BugBug on deviantart because again good gracious amazing amazing art.
#Might end up deleting later because yeah not a good to ref art from very much alive people#at least without permission#I am an absolute FOOL for tender moments#I've wanted to draw this for weeks but I couldn't find the painting I wanted to reference and it came to me in a tiktok of all places#a pleasant reminder that I should be using reference images more often#mushy mushy#drawing mushy art is always scary because I am petrified that my roommate will walk in while I'm drawing it and I have to explain it to her#she can't know I have feelings#mortifying#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#dragon age inquisitor#inquisitor trevelyan#aerin trevelyan#dai#cullen rutherford#cullen x inquisitor#cullen x female inquisitor#realizing post finishing that I should've drawn a halla statue in the background for more ambiance#my art
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the sillies
[id: two images of digital drawings of some rain world slugcat ocs. the first image features the scrapper and the hideaway. scrapper is a brown slugcat with a dewlap and round ears, and a darker face, tail, and a heart-shaped marking on his chest. he has scarred hands and is wearing green goggles with red lenses atop his head. the hideaway is a dark red slugpup with a lighter torso, face, and tail, and a heart-shaped marking on her chest. she has a large cut in her right ear.
in the first image, there are a few drawings of the hideaway: one of her on all fours, leaning very far backward with a scrunched up face; sitting on her haunches and gazing at nowhere, looking haunted; and standing up with her arms outstretched, her face bright and happy. the last drawing is of the scrapper walking along, glancing back over their shoulder. the hideaway is perched on their back and is also glancing backward.
in the second image are colorless sketches of the scrapper and the hideaway, as well as the current and the monarch. the current is a lanky slugcat with several antenna on his body, and the monarch is a scarred slugcat with a torn ear and frills on her cheeks and underside. there are sketches of: an upper body of the monarch winking and doing a thumbs up with an uncannily realistic human hand; scrapper intensely examining the hideaway's cut ear, gently holding her head in their hands, looking worried; and current laying on the ground, his head in one hand and looking grumpy, while the monarch is flopped over his back and is peering at him innocently. end id]
#rain world#monotoneart#oc: the scrapper#oc: the hideaway#oc: the current#oc: the monarch#just gonna ramble a bit here#current and monarch arent blood related but they consider each other as siblings. they were raised together by glint of lantern light#they bicker and banter a lot but they're rarely actually annoyed at each other#current does have a bit of a shorter temper though and monarch knows his boundaries well enough to not actually push him too far#because she's not That much of a jerk#unfortunately monarch doesn't know what current gets up to while they're apart#at least besides ''keeping their iterator dad alive''#monarch has much more of a moral compass than current does so if she ever finds out current is hunting down other slugcats and even slugpup#and killing them to keep them away from glint. well monarch probably won't actually kill him but she may as well have#though scrapper might get there long before monarch can#no one messes with scrapper's pup and gets away with it
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maybe i shouldnt get into rattlesnake conservation considering how deeply it hurts me everytime i hear someone talk about how much they hate and fear them and the frankly gruesome displays of cruelty and violence that results of that fear and hate
#in this case- i looked up a professor who studies rattlesnakes to see if i could reach out to ehr#and her latest blog post was about how a hiker in a nature preserve stabbed a pregnant female 8 times in the head with the stake for the si#n that asked hikers to leave the rattlesnakes alone before cutting her rattle off while she was still alive#they tried to rush her in to emergency surgery and she died#i cant. i wouldnt be able to deal with that#i would have tracked that man down and done the same to him#snakes are some of the least cruel and most innocent animals ive worked with and yet nobody thinks the same#tw animal cruelty
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trucy from my breath of the wild au :)
#my art#ace attorney#ace attorney fanart#trucy wright#her outfit is based off both the sheikah and yiga :D#in this au the gramaryes are like. a small group that used to be part of the yiga but split off#and now have a tentative truce between both the yiga and the sheikah#they split off bc they didnt like how like. pro-ganon? culty? it was. they r still Very morally gray tho#trucy and apollo r interesting in this au bc apollo is precalamity (as the rito champion)#and trucy is post calamity (as a kass-like figure. she does the shrine riddles and champions ballad. no instrument tho just magic)#and lamiroir is. both.#klavier is link and lamiroir gifts him a guitar pre-calamity as thalassa#and then post calamity shes like pikango. that sheikah guy who goes around painting and shows you where memories are#shes alive this long bc. some bs abt sheikah lifespans idk#i spent far too long trying to come up with something that made sense.#i mean a way for sheikah ages to make sense not just lamiroirs age. bc good lord#precalamity impa and robbie are abt the same age. or close enough at least#if anything robbie is older#and yet! impa looks like shes abt ready to topple over dead while robbie looks. literally fine#i would see him jogging down the street at a brisk pace and hardly even question it#not even gonna touch upon ss impa. thats some early old testament divine intervention shit. physicians hate her#kogha too. bro did not age a day during those hundred years. LORD#not that u can see him. but hes got the same physical ability. and hes definitely older than the sheikah old ppl#is it the bananas?? what#anyway.gh
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...
#shout out to my nana for saying my dad spends money like water#my dad who struggles with the idea of spending money bc of obsessive compilation thoughts but is making an effort#bc whats the point of saving up all your life just to die. nana? my dad whose wife is literally dying of cancer and is beginning to circle#the drain so hes deciding he wants to start spending his retirement money now while shes still alive. u old witch. Jesus christ. my mum#isnt gonna live forever. shes getting her bladder removed in February i think. imo ill just b happy if she lives past the end of my 5year#program. like holy fuck. i mean. its not really nanas fault. she probably has 0cd and probably has 0cpd. but like this is y u wanna try to#get better. so you dont grow into a miserable old fuck whose family hates u bc ur awful and killing ur husband thru ur illness. just saying#as someone whose can see their own behaviors mirrored in her. this is y i cant go on like this lol#hopefully i hit my rock bottom last year. ugh. i just wish i could sleep. when im not super depressed i cant seem to get a normal amount of#sleep and im exhausted all afternoon. im awake at night and early in the morning. it makes me nauseous too. insomnia i guess#but ive always slept rather little. maybe it was compulsive and now im just old and cant take it#hate it. wish it would stop but at least i dont feel like dying anymore i guess. im guessing the meds r exacerbating thr sleep issues if not#causing it. ugh symptom management i guess#unrelated
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Going into 2024 with a respect for what I've lost but hope for roads ahead 🙏💜
#this year was rough but what i found myself thinking about mostly this morning was my late friend tammy. and then subsequently everyone#else ive lost in the past few years#yes things were difficult with relationships jobs general life things. a lot of things changed for me in the last months as well that#were out of my control and because of that infuriated me#and i found myself thinking about what tammy would have probably said to me if she had been alive and in her right mind while i was going#through all of these things#and she would have said 'shut the fuck up jay. if you're telling me this then you're fine and you got to make it. you got to be here so#yell if you want to break some shit if you need to. but just keeping looking forward'#she said things similar to me before so it is like i heard it in her raspy yet lilted voice. anyways this is getting really sentimental#and personal but. i wont tempt things saying 2024 will be great for me. but at the very least i have hope i can make it what i#need it to be. no matter what ends up happening#if you read this ty and sry sry. i hope you have a nice start to your new year and plenty of calm vibes this year#-pers#-cw death mention#but it is in the tags#also super secret lue lore with a prev name drop but i wasnt thinking about that idc yall can know one of my old ones im not editing it
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What about Project Moon genderswap Captain Ahab too?
anon I hope you know this concept is making me Scream
#watch out kromer the new contender for “most unhinged limbus woman” is in town#I hope they make this happen. please#fuck it genderbend the whale too while they're at it#ahab and ishmael should have the gayest fucking fight in the world please and thank you#like ishmael thinks she died but she lived somehow#(woman literally Too Angry To Die)#and she's still obsessed with the whale and it makes ishmael take a long hard look at herself#idk the way they've been characterising ishmael so far with her relentless search for other survivors#and the whole “as long as that bastard is still alive” thing#to me at least feels like she's unintentionally repeating the cycle#I hope her chapter allows her to start properly mourning at least#especially if the One Survivor Besides Her is the asshole who started the whole thing#idk I haven't read moby dick properly nor is ishmael my biggest blorbo I could be talking out of my ass#asks#limbus company#ishmael likers give me your wisdom 🙏🙏🙏
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everyones predicting garret will be this universe's charlie and possess the puppet which i don't disagree with. but also. would it not be an equally exciting twist if garret was still alive
#no one would call it bc afton just Doesnt Leave Survivors#im just saying if vanessas not the one getting successfully brainwashed into a murder machine..... maybe they just picked someone else#orrrr alternatively they could be saving a vanny thing for the future#obv that gets hard to justify bc yknow. if vanny is a thing afton programmed into her while raising her why wouldnt he#set her off in the climax#so im thinking smth like. what if the damage/coma? from the stabbing trips a wire in her head and makes her more susceptible#or obv he could grab her after reviving and just do it then which would also be an interesting turn#like hes like 'clearly you only survived me stabbing you as a sign i need to try again' or w/e#sorry got distracted there but !! alive brainwashed garret would be an interesting twist bc like. imagine#mikes reaction? vanessas bc obviously she feels like everything afton did is at least partially her fault???#having to free him? not being ABLE to free him?? him not wanting to be freed or not actually being brainwashed??#him potentially holding mike responsible for him getting kidnapped and being stockholmed into hating mike for it?#the possibilities are endless#also back on vanessa vanny that could also be a fun way to integrate princess quest and freeing her#even a nod to vr if you still want it to be the vr headset that lets afton into her head#fnaf movie spoilers#also how long do ppl usually tag spoilers for things i usually just do it until i get too annoyed by it to continue LMAO
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I'm obsessed with her
#her face she's so excited about it#movie night would work on me too aint gonna lie#character of all time honestly#the way she flips between sweet little mom and Kill Mode without skipping a beat#I lucked out so hard with Daryl and Carol being my favourites because they're the only bastards from season 1 still alive#and I'm preeeetty sure they aint going anywhere? At least for a while?#I've seen much later screenshots of them floating around#twd liveblog#the walking dead#the walking dead spoilers
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You mentioned that Mary, during her reign, did not consider her father's later marriages valid. Could it be because they were not under the Catholic faith? At least that's what I understood, correct me if I'm wrong
More specifically, none of these marriages (save his to Anne Boleyn's, ironically enough...although that was a conditional papal dispensation to be used in the specific circumstances of either the annulment of his first marriage granted by the papacy, or, by implication, the death of Catherine of Aragon) had the required papal dispensations (HVIII was related in some degree to all of them, specifically through Edward I at the least). HVIII and COA had the papal dispensation that was upheld explicitly by a later Pope and implicitly by the rest, Mary I and Philip II had the needed papal dispensation to wed.
#elizabeth argued she was in good faith as it went with the anglican church but part of her argument -- and this is more assumption#or reading between the lines ; is that with some smudging elizabeth could *actually be considered in good faith by the papacy as well#insofar as cranmer was granted the archbishphoric by the pope and used that authority to annull the first marriage and vindicate the second#of course he also annulled the second. so. it's problematic . but...#anon#1536 counterfactuals are interesting bcus it does seem with anne it was ... personal . she might've known the emperor's negotiations were#that he'd recognise anne as queen in exchange for mary being recognised as heir. or it might've been#more a matter of her not recognising the marriage insofar as she didn't believe#it could be de facto legitimate because their marriage had taken place two years prior while her mother was#definitely very much alive....#*also at least one papal agent in 1533 said the 'good faith' of the mother was sufficient#altho he claimed that only in the case of a son (lol?) would that be sufficient to make the child bona fides BUT he did believe AB#had this which is...interesting#mind you im not saying elizabeth knew this just that. yeah you can argue that it was 'convenient' for her to believe and espouse that#but just that it's not even exactly like her saying that was without precedent
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Today was the day Kirito freed everyone from SAO :') in a year this will be the day it happened in the actual story.
#sword art online#kirito#kazuto kirigaya#today was the day rinko lost kayaba too#me and my bestie are emotional on discord ;-;#they could've had it all#i know i shouldn't feel sorry for them#because they aren't really “major” characters and they both did something wrong but i still feel for rinko#she did it out of love while kayaba out of ambition for his dream...#which i suppose is some kind of twisted love isn't it?#i just hope rinko ends up happy at the end even if her part in the story is so small#she deserves happiness#although tbh i see her losing everyone close to her by the end of the story#because you see i believe all the shigemura boys will be dead#higa sugou kayaba shigemura too#all of them#only rinko will be the only one alive#poetic it would be if you asked me#because she's the least crazy of the bunch#i see her living peacefully with her *theoretical spoilers here they may or may not become true depending on the course of the story* son#if they become true then yes they would be spoilers but as of now these are all theories from my friend and our friend group#heck it am gonna tag as that just in case#sao spoilers#anyways lol either that or she will end up dying...which i hope not#at any case i just want her to be happy whatever happens#if kirito asuna shinon etc get to be happy why not minor characters as well :')
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My only fear as an Artiste™ and Creative™ is that people will see all my tendency to create characters who are both aromantic and awful and (not seeing that I am aromantic) will assume I am doing this in bad faith. The truth is that I just like characters that are awful and love aromanticism.
#funny talking tag#at least for DIDL:#Jupiter is aromantic and pretty nice and normal and she has a strong social network and loves her community.#and Goodbye is not aromantic and while polite he has no friends and harbors a secret hatred for nearly everyone.#<- shout out to guys who never assert their boundaries so they get walked all over and then hate people for disrespecting their boundaries.#I love Goodbye. In his head he is the meanest bitch alive.#I mean Goodbye is acespec... but not aro <3
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so what im getting is that it was absolutely unnecessary to isolate raffi on gotham city in order for her story to go on.
a story that’s so halfhearted that five episodes in—halfway to the end. btw—her motivation is yet to be explained (why go back to this sector of intelligence work when teaching seemed to be fulfilling? was she made to do this?? did she volunteer because her son now lives on this planet now apparently?? was losing elnor cris and possibly seven so painful that burying herself in work seemed like a better option??? who knows! not me!!) and it’s definitely a retreat character-wise but the fact that they still haven’t laid the groundwork to make this stick is kind of amazing lol. it’s the way they’re not even pretending to give a fuck about her or any of the other women characters for me—they said you’re a womb or a subordinate ladies pick one and shut the hell up LMAO?
the fact that the ‘real plot’ is happening on that other ship while everything raffi does is basically an afterthought with backstory slipped in between the cracks like aged caulk is so disheartening and pathetic. star trek picard make an effort maybe. she’s a polarizing character that’s been stuck in impossible situations, weighed down with retractions and stereotypes (they thread the line but HM) because the narrative continually refuses to meaningfully engage with her and a lot of fans of the show wont examine their own biases to see why they have such a viscerally negative reaction to a complicated black woman character that’s good at what she does, knows it and refuses to kneel at the foot of their hero’s :)
and if it wasn’t for ms hurd elevating this performance with sheer will, massive talent and the whip of that (sexy) ponytail? shit would be so much worse. but it’s still bad! because instead of giving her a nuanced, thoughtful send off she’s once again being made to suffer for the nth time. because why? oh right so wise man worf can guide her to the light lol give me a fuckin break.
and it’s no accident that if you cut raffi out (which they literally did in ep4 miss musiker you WILL be avenged) the story could more or less proceed as usual. that’s by design.
because legacy characters or not, im simply not buying that the main white cast members (plus two interlopers idgaf about those new guys and they’re doing nothing to make me care either. pick a random channel and their stories are being told right now live and in color like don’t piss me off) just so happen to be on the ship with the lead yet the sole woc is sent away on some underbaked adventure because ‘reasons?’ please. this season literally could not be more transparent about the audience they’re catering to and who/whose stories are of importance and consideration.
and i knew this would probably happen once the premise for s3 was revealed but i still can’t get over how obvious it is that there really was no plan for raffi and that she only happened to bypass the cull of the la sirena crew because she was romantically linked with seven at the time. which is baffling considering how things are (not) going between them (#theyareMARRIEDletthemTALKandKISSandREST)
and it’s not just them like everything about this season is quite literally happening just because. every slightly interesting or fresh development (and character it’s true) from the previous seasons has been dismissed or diminished and for what? secret sons and man pain? ew lmao. no suspense no lingering threads just excessive shots of ships, an aggressive insistence on biological families and rampant, shameless references to past glory. a mess.
#doing everyone so dirty but it’s fine because ‘familiar faces’ yeah okay 👍🏾#like can we all be serious for one second lol#they’re not even trying.#at least if this season was good i would somewhat understand why they snapped my faves out of existence but it’s literally not#feels insane to see so many people praise this#is this really where we are as an audience? nostalgia = good? really?#and the new characters they chose to add? come on#no space for rios but yall had space for TWO random white guys?#a christmas miracle!#like the kid is one thing but captain crunch ? they’re playing in my FACE#like i don’t even have any firm feelings about him because he’s pretty much a giant bore but#seeing all these allowances being made for him because of what he looks like whilst raffi continues to get shit on irks me so bad#like i knew it would happen ive been alive in the world lol but still#unsurprising but irritating af that captain crunch can sulk around in all his dickheaded glory#and it’s fine because he’s gods most traumatized baby boy but let raffi lash out once and it’s questions about her competence#and calls to have her removed like oh what’s the difference i wonder#‘men can laugh while a woman can only chuckle’ -godforbid she be black and self assured- like that person was preaching i fear!#if this sounds bitter it’s because i am <3#michelle hurd deserves so much better like someone pls get her a five season dramatic series on a prestige network asap!#looks at this dissertation i just wrote oops ain’t mean to rant like that but they forced my hand 😭#now to watch raffi’s spar scene on loop and forget about the show until thursday comes around and rattles my cage again lol#raffi musiker#.rfi#stpk
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