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ncfan-1 · 3 years

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Because I feel like we’re being set up to encounter Sabine once more in The Mandalorian, some of my more discontented feelings regarding what happened to her in the epilogue of Rebels have been coming to the surface, because I just can’t be 100% okay with anything, can I?

But I really, really do not like what is implied to have happened with Sabine in the epilogue of Rebels. Over the years, I have become more cognizant of the problems I have with certain things in the back half of Season 4 of Rebels, but I think my problems with what happened with Sabine were there in the forefront of my mind from nearly the beginning, even if it was a while before I was willing to really engage with it.

Okay. The natural culmination of Sabine’s character arc over the course of Seasons 3 and 4 was for her to accept the mantle of leadership. We’re all in agreement about that, right? I remember having problems with her shirking that role on Mandalore back in the Season 4 premiere, but I had thought at the time that, from there, her arc would culminate in her accepting the mantle of leadership within the wider rebellion, rather than merely in the Mandalorian Resistance. After all, Sabine has had Hera as one of her most important role models since early adolescence, Hera who decided that it wasn’t enough merely to liberate her own homeworld, but that for liberty to last, she had to go out and free the whole galaxy. Sabine might more readily follow Hera’s example than, say, her mother’s, or Bo-Katan’s. It would have made sense for Sabine to transcend the need for just her own people’s liberation, would have made sense for her take everything she has learned since she was cast out of Mandalorian society as a child and dream bigger than just the dream of a liberated Mandalorian society.

And she really did seem on track for that culmination in the finale. There was a moment that I was sure was the culmination. You guys can probably think of what it is yourself, but it bears pointing out here. It was that moment after Sabine spotted Ezra sneaking off to carry out his own plane, that moment after she covered for him, that moment after the others realized that Ezra had gone off on his own. It was that moment when Sabine stopped Hera from trying to force Ezra to come back, that moment when Sabine took charge of the situation and formulated a plan of action for the team—and her leitmotif started playing.

This was the moment to me. I watched this play out, and I well and truly believed that Sabine had finally reached the culmination of her character arc. I believed that this was Sabine finally pushing past all of her doubts and insecurity. I believed that this was Sabine overcoming her feelings of unworthiness and taking up the mantle of a leader. I believed that this was Sabine accepting herself, accepting the fact that she was capable of being a leader, that she was a leader. And every part she played in the finale after that moment seemed to bear this out—it was Sabine acting as a leader without hesitation, without doubt, without second-guessing herself. She’d finally overcome that block.

And then, the epilogue. Then, Sabine’s voiceover talking about the parts everybody else played in the events to come—and behold, she is nowhere to be found in those recollections, and behold, the absolutely hideous implication that she completely abandoned the fight after the liberation of Lothal, and spent the rest of the war on the planet.

No, it’s never said outright, and that’s the one saving grace of it all. But it certainly is implied, isn’t it? It’s implied, and it’s such a monumental step backwards for her character, so out of left field, that the only way to make sense of it is to look at the man behind the curtain and think about it Doylistically, instead of Watsonianly.

It feels to me like Sabine was forced to abandon the culmination of her character arc in favor of shouldering the natural culmination of Ezra’s arc. Ezra’s arc would have had a natural conclusion in him remaining on Lothal to protect the planet from further reprisals and help it heal from the damage done to it, but it really hits differently when it’s a character whose arc was never heading in that direction before the last five minutes of the show. It’s not natural, is it?

Now, I don’t have as many problems with what happened with Ezra as I do with what happened with Sabine, and I honestly think that what happened with him works fairly well as an alternate culmination of his arc. But it doesn’t work with Sabine, does it? It does not work with Sabine to have her character arc mutilated this way, because what’s happened is that the implication that she abandoned the fight and stayed on Lothal makes her regress as a person as a character. I was originally going to say it regresses her to her early Season 1 self, but actually, it doesn’t, because even in early Season 1, Sabine was still willing to take the fight to the Empire, even if she was daunted by her doubts and all of her baggage. Where it regresses her to is her pre-series self, right after she and Ketsu escaped Mandalore, and Sabine is so utterly discouraged and heartbroken by her family and society’s rejection of her that she abandons the idea of fighting the Empire for a long time, and turns her heart away from the suffering of the galaxy at large.

It makes no sense, but then, forcing one character to take on the arc of another character rarely ever does.

Now, like I said, it is the strong implication that Sabine abandoned the fight after the liberation of Lothal. It is strongly implied, but never outright stated, and like I also said, that’s the one saving grace of all of this, that it’s never outright stated in the show itself. If The Mandalorian has her saying that oh, she actually was out doing stuff with the Rebellion during the war proper, it might go against the implication, but I’ll still accept it, because it would be so much easier to engage with a Sabine I actually recognize, rather than the stranger who was dropped on us in the epilogue.

I write all of this both to get it off of my chest, and as a long, long preamble explaining why I am writing this. I write it because I think that after meeting Bo-Katan, the next logical step for Din Djarin is for him to meet Sabine. He’s met someone who performs the Mandalorian identity differently from himself, and by the end of ‘The Heiress’, he seems to be on the way to accepting that there is more than one valid way to perform Mandalorian culture and identity. Sabine is the next logical step in the progression, the next step after Din coming to accept that there is more than one way to perform their culture: someone who has a deeply complicated relationship with her cultural identity as a Mandalorian, someone who has done harm to that culture while also deeply harmed by it, someone whose identity as a Mandalorian includes not only battle and loyalty to her family, but self-expression through artwork.

I think that self-expression through art, always so important to Sabine’s character, might be introduced here as well. Because Din’s unpainted armor has always been jarring to me, and I think that his ability to engage in self-expression might have been just a little stifled (or more than a little stifled) by his raising in the Watch, and the values the Watch inculcated in him. Sabine might well introduce him to the concept of painting his armor, whether in his clan colors (and if he doesn’t have any at present, there could well be a scene of him deciding what they are), or in colors and designs that he chooses, that are personally meaningful to him, without clan affiliation or loyalty to the Watch entering.

There is something else about Sabine that I think will be of interest in this show, especially since she is most likely to turn up in Ahsoka’s company. Sabine provides an interesting inverse to the Child’s present situation—where the Child is a Force-wielder sheltered and cared for by a Mandalorian, Sabine was, once upon a time, a Mandalorian child sheltered and cared for by a Jedi, a Mandalorian child who was in her adolescence brought up alongside a child who was a Jedi.

I don’t think that Din’s journey leads him ultimately to give up the child to the Jedi, because that would be a betrayal of the bond that has formed between them. I think that his journey leads to him finding the middle way, finding that place where Mandalorians and Jedi can coexist, held fast by bonds of care and loyalty and love. That Sabine has all of these bonds with Jedi—with Kanan and Ezra, and by the implication of the finale, with Ahsoka as well—may well be the thing that proves to Din that it can be done, that just because Mandalorians and Jedi have traditionally been enemies, does not mean that they must always be enemies.

Din has gone out into the galaxy as the man who has everything to learn about life and how his can be richer than it has been, who has everything to learn about how his own people can be more than just one thing. Both he and Sabine are alienated from their culture in their own ways, and I’m interested to see the way they might play off of each other, what they can learn from each other, and especially what Din is willing to learn from Sabine. I know it’s not a sure thing that Sabine will show up, but it feels right, and I’ll be interested to see what role she has to play in the show.

#The Mandalorian #Star Wars Rebels #Din Djarin #Sabine Wren #Meta

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vohalika · 5 years

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hello, this is random but.. could u please tell me some of your fav things about vex? i don't often see people who Really Like Vex and we need more of that

Well, well, well, anon.

I have literally no idea how long it has been since you asked this of me, but rest assured I have not forgotten! Well, okay, I had for a while, then I saw it again and was like “oh, right, huh… And would you look at that, I’m about 100 posts away from 100,000… Wouldn’t that be a good one…”

So. Here we are! An unstructured rambling of all the reasons I really, really love Vex, somewhere between superficial and embarrasingly personal, to celebrate this arbitrary number of things I have spread around on this hell site.

Okay, first of all, the only thing Laura had to say to Kit Buss for the official art was “make her hot”. That is a Statement. And boy did Kit and also everyone deliver on that.

Like seriously. I didn’t use to be a fan of feathers in hair or white armor, but good god does she make it work.

Hey, I said this was going to be extremely superficial

Another thing I really didn’t use to like, twins. Overdone and usually poorly executed. But our girl made a Point out of being as different from her twin as she could be while at the same time being completely believable siblings.

I swear to god I’ll do my absolute best to mention Vax as little as possible. This is not about him.

Third thing I really couldn’t stand! The one, usually female, team member with a pet! Closely related to the one with the nature powers! I don’t know, these just always rubbed me the wrong way in media before, probably because I also never really cared for shows or movies about animals. Fight me.

And yet here she is, and she is not the “won’t somebody think of the children animals!” type of gal and Trinket is amazing and it still ties into her personality on a larger scale without being preachy.

I have a fourth thing. I also really don’t care for elves, ever. Everybody hates them. And then she turns around and makes me cry about the elf thing. Good god.

Yes, watching the first episode way back when was an uphill battle. There’s a reason I started with episode 69 and then watched the rest.

Nice.

Vex has the best worst sense of humor. No, really. I’m not even talking about that time she made a comment about the boy with the shot off fingers not having much of a future as a musician. But I’m also talking about that. And that time Scanlan tried having a meaningful monologue about having a daughter now. “I’ve defined most of my life by the people I slept with, and now…” - “Well, technically, this is still kinda defined by that.”

(Shoutout to Percy “I was just thinking that”)

Also, “We don’t do anything with dignity”, “I only serve gods with big dicks”, “You might live forever, but you will still be fucking ugly”? Girl is iconic, even if her sense if humor is usually pretty inappropriate for the given situation, she just can’t help it. I relate.

On a related note, it is so easy to play a similar archetype and have her just be this always dignified and above the humor kind of stuck-up. It’s basically how most people would have written her (and a certain someone did). But not our girl, oh no.

Also, I recently made a post about this, but we really, really don’t talk enough about how she’s just the leader of the party. She is. No, really, lower your bitch sticks, y’all. She’s the one to talk to the most NPCs, she’s the one to usually say go, and everyone just naturally adheres to her. It’s never forced, it’s never an “I, as the leader” moment, and she doesn’t try to wrestle her way into the role. It’s just what happens naturally.

Which also means she’s good at stepping back and letting other people shine for a bit. But still, Vex is the reason they didn’t just flounder around like a chicken without its head after Scanlan left. Laura was late to two sessions in campaign one; the first one was already in an extended battle scene, and the other was literally spent in a bedroom in hell waitinig for Vex to tell them what to do.

This is why scholars are generally of the opinion that Vex is the only Top in VM. And also what intellectuals refer to as Big Dick Energy.

Let’s talk about what the assholes call Greed. Yes, Vex is, out of all of them, the most pre-occupied with gold and loot. But she NEVER hoards anything for herself, never spends any of her own gold on herself even until the timeskip, leave alone the party funds.

She looks out for the interests of the group, makes sure they get the best possible deals and are paid what they are owed. And she’s the only one to ever worry about money, too, whereas everyone else never bothers to think about it. Hence why her and Vax split the cost of paying their staff after the party spent all the funds early on.

Look, I find her worries very indicative of growing up in poverty with her mom, than surrounded by rich and important people but locked out of the loop, and then poor and on the road again with Vax. I find it very relatable, and everyone who claims that looking out for the financial well-being of the party is “greedy” is lucky enough to never have had to worry about eating next month while also making rent.

There’s Safety In A Fist Full Of Diamonds, okay?

No really I need y’all to read that and send it to the annoying bitches who complain.

Vex is literally never stingy when it comes to helping people with the money she made sure they have. Remember how she didn’t even flinch at spending a five digit number to free angel boy slaves?

WHICH LEADS ME TO ANOTHER POINT. Vex. Vex has a serious hoarding problem. But not when it comes to money of earthly possessions. No. When it comes to PICKING UP STRAYS.

It’s how she got Trinket.

It’s how she got the angel babies.

It’s what she tries to do with the grey render baby.

It’s what she suggested they do with the dragon eggs in the Raishan fight

(LET! VEX! HAVE! PET! DRAGONS!)

IT HOW SHE GOT HER OWN GODDAMN HUSBAND OKAY.

I have no idea how she hasn’t adopted her own zoo by the time VM forms. Though I can totally see her opening orphanages in Whitestone, both for people and animals and creatures of all kinds, really.

Remember when she was the only one to protest the punching of a spectral ghost cow?

The hardships of her youth made her, yes, very afraid of being out of money, but also made her compassionate as fuck. She’s always down with helping people even if there’s little to no coin in it, okay? Stop overlooking that, assholes.

SPEAKING OF COMPASSION. Remember what her original beef with the Vasselheim potion seller was? That he took advantage of Grog being intellectually challenged. Which is what he did! Blatantly so! And he wasn’t the least bit sorry about it!

I mean, I bet he is by now, but, you know. Karma.

When Laura says Vex just wanted justice and then everyone else escalated that scene she is goddamn right, rewatch your own footage Matthew.

Oh god do I have to talk about broomgate now. I don’t want to talk about broomgate.

OKAY

Broomgate is literally the only time in the entire series that Vex ever takes something for herself. Was it the morally right thing to do? Maybe not. Though to keep in mind that a) Hardwick is a piece of shit, b) they literally met Gern when he had the skeletons of Kiki’s dead civilization dancing for him; Vax shanked Nothics for less, c) and this was hot off the heels of fighting a necromancer in the last big arc, too, d) they were on a mission to kill dragons. That fly. With no method of flying for the majority of the party. Vex always intended to use the broom for that purpose, so you could make the legal argument of commandeering it instead of stealing, and, finally, e) SHE HAD JUST FUCKING DIED

Why do we never talk about that

Other characters get cut all the slack for what they do after just dying

Other characters get cut all the slack when they steal from other guests

Other characters get cut all the slack when they withhold loot for the party

Other characters DIDN’T GET AN ALIGNMENT DROP FOR DOING WORSE SHIT THAN THIS

WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT BROOMGATE

WHY WAS BROOMGATE EVER EVEN A THING

okay

MOVING ON

Hey, while we’re at dying. Remember how Vex spent the day after she, literally, died, trying to make sure the person who was to blame for her death was okay? She did that. And Percy was uncomfortable with it, visibly so, but also too guilty to call her out here.

And no one. NO ONE. EVER. Bothered to check in on how she felt after dying.

Vax made it all about the sacrifice he made, Percy felt too guilty, NO ONE ELSE CARED.

And what does she do? Soldier on. Try and cheer Vax up and support him in any way she can.

Honestly, learning the Raven Queen book by heart and then telling him that being the champion of a god is really fucking cool? Relatable. Relatable as fuck. You go girl.

And TO THIS DAY. ACROSS TWO CAMPAIGNS. Vex has been the only one. THE ONLY ONE. To EVER check up on someone after they died. Jester might eventually be the second one, but, you know. I am a big advocate for post-death and just post-big-battle-in-general aftercare cuddle piles or whatever. Someone tell the cast to implement that immediately.

And while we’re at death, let’s talk about THE DARKNESS

There are dark facets to her character. Vex never makes her own issues everyone else’s problem and they go largely unadressed, but they’re there.

Saundor brought up the story about how she got Trinket and had to kill for the first time while doing so.

(Sidenote: Saundor doing more research into her character than an actual writer is extremely telling.)

That was definitely traumatic for a young girl and I don’t mean to dismiss that, but that’s also the part I can understand Vax dismissing when they talk about it later on. They do kill a lot of people after that and this was self-defense, so hey, okay. Fine.

HOWEVER

That short story was indicative of many other things that torment Vex. Mostly her low sense of self-worth.

Like, her entire inner monologue is centered around how stupid she was for getting into this situation in the first place (= for being taken advantage of by criminals at the tender age of probably like 15), and how this would never have happened to Vax, who was away in the city to take care of them.

And we see that low sense of self-worth bleeding into Vex’s character throughout the campaign. That’s part of the reason why she spends the day after her first death making sure everyone else is okay. That’s also part of the reason she blames herself for Scanlan leaving and acts like she’s completely fine when he returns just so he’ll stay.

Honestly that short story is so insightful and explains so much about her, I don’t know how anyone could claim to have any grasp on her character without reading it.

(Also, Laura should write more, she’s talented)

Now a significant part of her self-worth issues obviously also ties back into her time at Syngorn. I can just hear people getting out their tiny violins, oh, waaah, she wasn’t one of the rich, cool kids in elf school, poor her.

But that’s not entirely it?

Like, just that is already plenty to fuck a person up. I’ve been there, too.

But let’s just say the fact that her dad was also cold towards them and acted like they were unworthy is a BIG part of what fucked her up. Call it daddy issues if you feel like being dismissive about a genuinely traumatizing upbringing, but that’s how it is.

And don’t get me wrong, if this were the traumatic childhood olympics, it’s not exactly up there and relatively tame for the background of a character in a fantasy story, but it is very true to life and extremely relatable, and Laura just executes it so well. So, so well.

That’s part of what makes the entire stretch of Feywild episodes so great. From what we see of Vax’s reaction later on, Percy is the only person she ever talked to about this - or at least the only one who ever listened - and he immediately got it. And instead of yelling at her about how amazing she is, he did something to make her feel better about herself. Without making it about himself, by the way.

I enjoy a fake married plotline as much as the next gal, but Percy giving her a title she’d have to earn by her own merits is soooo much more meaningful than just putting a fake ring on her, okay?

Yes, at the end of the day, this is basically a Cinderella fantasy. So what? No, really. One of the best things about Vex and her arc is that it validates feeling upset about not measuring up in superficial, material ways. And it validates getting your come-uppance. These are, as mentioned above, experiences that can really mess with a person, but we’re usually supposed to be above it all because money and titles don’t make you happy.

Also something only people who never struggled financially can say/believe unironically and without specifying.

Hell, that’s about 70% of the reason I’m considering getting a Ph.D. if I happen to get the grades.

I’m also not a big fan of the term daddy issues, but I can’t deny that this is a thing here

not the thing they went into the Feywild for, buuuut

ahem

So. Remember when Laura said during the campaign wrap up that Vex thought of Scanlan as a father figure and everyone was like whaaaaat? And I was like ahahahaha, I knew it.

This is so tragic, really. Because she tried so hard so many times to help Scanlan and be nice to him and he just brushed her off. And then she’s the one who volunteers to spend the night all by herself in some dirty pub far, far away after opening up to his daughter about her own issues to bring him back alive, and then gets yelled at, and never apologized to.

And then he comes back and tries to erase her memory and not only is that never even brought up, she also just doesn’t even think she might be owed an apology because a) she still blames herself for him leaving because, you know, they never really talked out what happened there and b) she’s just too happy for at least that father figure returning to them to make much of a fuss about it, and Percy, bless his heart, TRIES, but it’ll take a few more years of marriage to talk through all of her issues

And like. I am not wild about anything that happens after episode 99. If I’m known for anything in this fandom on this platform it’s probably for that time I was really into the Ioun discourse, which I still stand by, btw. And I personally would have preferred for Vex to maybe get someone like Sehanine as her patron, as fitting as giving her yet another unworthy and disapproving father figure in her life might be

But there is also something somewhat gratifying about everyone talking about how great she is. And she had been sort of working for Pelor before that. Also, the headcanons about her having sun spots or starting to glow when she gets emotional after this are amazing.

So I made my peace with that. She deserves better, but hey, she always does.

She is so smart. So extremely smart. People roll their eyes at her battle plans and say it’s all Travis feeding Laura information, but Travis fed her nothing that time she schmoozed up to the Briarwoods while also making herself appear extremely superficial and unthreatening. Honestly. That dinner scene? Prime Vex. Amazing Vex.

Her battle plans are also so good. Pokeball-ing Grog out of the kill box? Using the Goristro against Vorugal to save the party a trip into the abyss? The only plan of Vox Machina that ever worked out basically perfectly? Amazing. And even IF Travis told Laura these ideas, that means literally nothing in relation to how smart Vex is.

And btw I don’t believe that for a second. People just aren’t good with acknowledging that sometimes, D&D playing women might actually have good ideas.

And she just is so street smart. With her skills, her battle plans, and just her way of handling people. There’s a reason she is the natural leader when it’s not someone’s turn in the spotlight at the time.

Like, the two things holding her back were that her class was extremely underwhelming, so much so that it got completely revamped in the Unearthed Arcana to make up for how bad it was in the PHB, and the fact that she just. Has, what. 1.5 episodes of her own storyline? Even Pike got 2. It’s amazing that I can even say this much about her with how little narrative focus she got throughout the series. And most of what she did was literally due to Percy using his plot clout and putting a foot in the door to force her into the spotlight.

Speaking of which. Percy’s best quality, next to being self-aware of how fucked up he is and actively trying to do better and be kept in check, is how he realizes Vex is the coolest, smartest, most amazing person around and treats her accordingly. The way she deserves to be treated.

Oh hey I mentioned to get this far without even mentioning the romance arc. And oh my god THE ROMANCE ARC. The pining. The slow burn. And the fact that we actually saw them together and later married for like 35 episodes. They were so good for each other.

And yes, PERCY WAS GOOD FOR HER. And Vex was not his therapist and manic pixie dream girl. None of that bullshit here. Percy was already firmly on the path to being better before he even considered that crush he has had on her for forever to turn into something more.

And by he was good for her I mean that he actually UNDERSTOOD her and where she was coming from. Refer again to the titling issue, where Vax is just confused and kind of pissed, Percy got it. And that’s important.

Something I have not made a post about so far, by the way, is also something people have called problematic and co-dependant is how Percy shares his darker impulses with Vex in hopes she’ll talk him out of it. Which she does, and it’s never hard, but that also means so much to her? Because he involves her and tells her exactly what is going on with him and values her opinion? And that is just exactly what she needs? And they’re so good? THEY’RE SO GOOD.

WHEN DOES YOUR OTP EVER

HE COULDN’T HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER DREAM

This is more on Laura, admittedly, but also, it was just so great to see her unapologetically pursuing this romance? There’s a place at the table for a 72 episode slow burn, and she’s gonna go for it, and there’s nothing any of the dudebros who are just here for the fighting can do about it.

And also Vex is just so unapologetically sexual at the same time. From episode 1 onwards, really, and in general and just limited to Percy. And no one ever treats that as weird or bad or anything. It’s just who she is and that’s great.

And she fought. So hard. For that happy ending of hers. Kicking and screaming, against the world and against Taliesin’s determination that Percy is irredeemable and not capable of getting a happy ending. Defy that auctorial intent, my girl. You deserve it.

Seriously. Seeing her get that happy ending against all odds was unfathomably gratifying and validating and I’ve never connected to any single character or narrative at large for that matter this much and this intimately, and considering how I came across this story at one of the darkest times in my life, I probably never will feel so strongly connected to anything ever again.

Which is probably for the best, but hey.

Aaaand there you go. An almost unstructured, epically long list of reasons I love Vex. Dammit, I talked about other characters way more than I intended, buuuut hey. That’s how it goes when you’ve got an ensemble piece, they’re all kinda interwoven.

Thank you this wonderful ask, anon, and reason to celebrate my 100,000th post on this site in style.

#critical role #cr #cr1 #vex'ahlia #lady vex'ahlia de rolo #is better than you #deserved better from the narrative #will forever be my favorite character probably #will forever be part of my ultimate OTP #we do not deserve her #we are unworthy #long post #long post for ts

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salavante · 5 years

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Odwain! The goodest.

Wow, featuring one of the more flattering drawings I’ve done of Odwain. Like last time, I’ll post all these guys separately and then do all the headshots in a masterpost. In the meantime buckle up for...a lot. (Thank you for giving me my favorite character.)

Full Name: Odwain Novak. In Ben Yit’gab, the Bennai language, his first name would be Oediwen, and it’s what his dad called him. His mother calls him Oddy and he does not like it.

Gender and Sexuality: Male and Bisexual

Pronouns: He/him

Ethnicity/Species: Odwain is a Ben-Aleth, a Human-Bennai hybrid, also called a mosshead if you’re in coarse company. His human mother Blanche Novak is mixed race. Odwain’s maternal grandfather came directly from Earth, Poland specifically, during one of the several accidental migrations of humans coming from Earth to The Road. His maternal grandmother is from a previous wave who were already settled on The Road by that time, but the family can trace her ancestry back to West Africa. Odwain’s father, Ashatov Novak, was a full-blooded Bennai, a plant-based halfling race. Ashatov took his wife’s last name.

Birthplace and Birthdate: Thinking about this trips me out man. Odwain was born in 1946, sometime in the summer, probably July or August, in Septor Secundis, a coastal, metropolitan city and the seat of The Road’s government. He’s 27 during his first adventure and right now, in Godslaughter, he is 69 (what the FUCK). He will live maybe 20 or 30 years longer than your average human, and is in better physical shape than a human would be at 69. He’s more like late 40’s or early 50’s.

Guilty Pleasures: A lot, probably - Odwain has just a bit of hedonistic streak just because he feels miserable so much of the time that he needs to feel good somehow. He smokes cigarettes for much of his life (but eventually quits), is a casual cannabis smoker and binge eats really truly terrible junk food (and has a bit of a gut because of it, but because he’s kind of lanky otherwise, he’s just kind of gourd-shaped). He likes beer, but doesn’t drink hard liqour all that often because he gets astronomically bad hangovers. Despite having a generally weak stomach, Odwain really likes frightfully spicy food, and his kids’ obligatory dad-gifts for him are probably hot sauces. When he’s not pounding down garbage, his favorite kind of cuisine is Thai. Not a guilty pleasure per say, but he also loves all things that have to do with insects, and when he and Rusty have a house together, Odwain takes up gardening as a hobby and plants an expansive garden of flora that are attractive to bees. (A Nice Thing: Odwain plants this garden when Rusty is pregnant because he found his love of insects through his father’s garden as a child, and wanted to give his kids the same opportunity) Odwain also maintains an apiary from the time that he’s living in a warehouse in the desert, to when he’s living with a partner and beyond. When he learns how to make Hot Honey it’s over for all of us. He has a modest collection of novelty bee-themed things that he’s amassed over the years, but he is not guilty about asserting his love of bees/wasps, like, at all. He’s also a little kinky but I’m not going into that.

Phobias: All of Odwain’s fears are existential - what if I push everyone away, existing in society is anxiety inducing, what if I’m just a bad person and my existence is making everything more difficult for functional people, etc. Though he’s kind of a sad fellow and has ideated suicide, and came very, VERY close to trying to kill himself after he dropped out of college, he also fears growing old and dying. I think death is more digestible to him if it’s on his own terms, but even then, I think what coaxed him off the edge was fear. If anything ever happened to his chosen romantic partner or any of his kids, he’d be besides himself, and is kind of one severe trauma and emotional breakdown away from becoming a bee-themed supervillian.

What They Would Be Famous For: Odwain is notable at a certain point in his career for being a pioneer in AI programming, and also for designing, building and patenting an invention called the Hercules Rig, which is basically a beetle-wing inspired jetpack. You can see it here. He holds the patent very closely and only allows it to be reproduced for recreation, construction, emergency rescue operations, etc. Odwain has taken a very firm stance on not allowing the military or any paramilitary organization to get their hands on it, though it has not stopped them from making shitty knock-offs that he is constantly suing people about.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Breaking and entering. Exploding something he shouldn’t. Buying illegal hazardous materials. Doing something petty that bites him in the ass.

OC You Ship Them With: To be honest there are not a lot of other characters besides Rusty that I ship him with. Bitter college rivals, thrown back together as late twenty-somethings, becoming better people together and learning to express empathy and vulnerability…it’s good. The only other character that I really go yeah, that’s the good stuff, is Jake’s character Finnick, who is kind of Odwain’s weird BFF and fellow mad scientist type. I don’t think they’d have a super stable relationship, and I think it would most likely be a “we yelled at each other and had weird sex enough that we like each other now” kind of scenario. But I do think they would come to love each other and have each other’s back to the death. Him and Hemlock, my dirty swamp witch who’s only picture was devoured during the great tumblr purge, also make a pretty fun couple for similar reasons. Iona too, but I think they are too explosive of personalities to ever find a stable middle ground. I also think he would find certain people attractive (August, Hare, Ganzrig, Ifechi the man I have spoken of but once, Jonquil in certain scenarios) but may not put himself out there to pursue them.

Neither of us have ever posted any art of her but here’s a few headshots of Finnick I did awhile ago, because she really is my favorite romantic partner for Odwain aside from Rusty, and is the only other one that’s really relevant in our games.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Odwain is fairly physically fragile and to be honest I think that most people could kill him as long as they could get their hands on him - he’s very dexterous and has a lot of gadgets that let him get the upper hand, keep enemies at a distance or escape. He has a ranged fighting/add-spawn build so he is mostly out of direct harm unless he’s reeled in somehow. But uh, Odwain IS dead right now in Godslaughter, he died fighting an eldritch deity named Dreamer who sucked him into a nightmare dimension and flayed his soul out of his body. It’s ok though, as long as the party beats Dio, he’ll be fine. I didn’t cry you’re the one who’s crying.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Ok, so, first off HAHA Odwain canonically likes Transformers and collects them, which are a thing in circulation after the last human migration from earth in the 90’s. Imagine. Imagine your grown ass father with a genius level IQ and multiple patents collecting plastic robots. Him and Finnick have transformers sonas - ANYWAY, that aside, he doesn’t really read for pleasure, just information, and generally just puts on cable while he works for white noise (and in later years, whatever The Road’s TV streaming service is). Most of the media he consumes is incidental to him, but will get interested in strange things that pique his interest. He probably thinks true crime docs are neat and enjoys pulpy sci-fi stuff that he can complain about. Any documentary about bugs. He’d like Mystery Science Theatre if they had it around. He enjoys things that are the fun, good kind of “bad” and has a fairly high threshold for disturbing imagery.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Odwain is that guy who makes 20 minute long youtube videos lampooning movies for “not making sense”. If there’s anything that breaks his suspension of disbelief, his attention and tolerance disintegrates, even if it’s just one of those things that needs to happen to move the plot along. It doesn’t really matter what genre it is, though he is most hard on sci-fi and fantasy. There is a tipping point for him, however, where he starts enjoying the thrill of blasting something and circles back around to enjoying it.

Talents and/or Powers: Odwain is only a little bitty bit magical, and only because Bennai are the most magical race on The Road. He has latent magical ability that allows him to sense magical signatures and incorporate magic into technology, and maybe cast a low level spell if he tries really hard. If he was in a high fantasy setting, he’d be an enchanter. His staff (the big lightbulb thing I draw him with sometimes), the Hercules Rig, his Wasp Suite (robotic wasps with an AI and different spells loaded into them) and any other devilish, bug-based weapons and utility objects do his work for him.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Odwain’s a bit of a tough walnut to crack because I think that he shines in moments of sincerity and vulnerability, but he has to, well, get there. He’s capable of very great, thoughtful acts of selflessness and compassion, and deeply desires meaningful relationships with other people, but he gets insecure about how he expresses himself and can clam up. He’s passionate, emotional and expressive, but has been put down for being so, and was probably a very brilliant, curious child who was beaten down into a somber adult. I actually think that, at some point in his childhood, he was not entirely unlike Whitty in the way that he was eager to share things with people and explore the world around him, which is why Odwain feels very protective of his grandson. I think the most lovable thing about him is that when he’s at his best, nothing can stop him - he’s extremely intelligent, diligent, creative and innovative. He truly, deeply loves making things, and making them better, and when he’s not in a crash, creates prolifically. What he loves, he loves deeply and without compromise, which makes Rusty, a person that could also be said of, a good match for him. I also think his cattiness makes him very witty, he’s a genuinely funny guy who can engage in some really goofy shenanigans when he’s feeling up for it.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Oh, lots of reasons. Odwain is an acquired taste to many, or just not to many’s taste at all. He is very petty, blunt and catty, and as a young man is extremely bitter and negative. You’d be very hard pressed to get a positive statement about anything out of him between the ages of 16-25. He’s very confrontational, can become very loud and intense if it’s something that he feels is important, and is not afraid to cut people out of his life if he feels that they aren’t good for him. Sometimes, he will end relationships/friendships prematurely because of this. Being such, he is heavily prone to self-inflicted isolation. He has no childhood friends, and only kept in touch with one person from college. He just cuts and runs. Odwain’s self-loathing runs very deep, which makes it hard for him to accept, or ask for, emotional support or affection. And that can be hard on the people around him who care about him. His executive dysfunction can also be abysmal, making it seem like perhaps he is messy or lazy, but he’s just kind of a mess himself, hah.

A weird non-psychological one but I think is enough to get someone’s hackles up is that Odwain doesn’t like animals very much unless they are insects, invertebrates, etc. He finds mammals loud, messy and needy, and that “I’m the only one in my house that is allowed to be all of those things”.

How They Change: As Odwain ages and gains a stable support network of friends, his edges soften and he learns how to ask for help more effectively. He also learns how to better choose his battles, and how to exercise the compassion that he knows he has, but has been too insecure to utilize. He manages his mental health better, but is never entirely free of it, because you never really are. Most importantly, I think, he learns how to forgive the people who deserve forgiveness, and give people second chances, accepting that people can change. Which means the same can be said for him, too.

Why You Love Them: I’ve talked about this before, somewhere, I’m sure. Odwain is one of those characters that has a very big slice of my personality, and has a lot of my more negative traits, though they are ones we’re both working on. My first session with Odwain was a scene where Odwain’s dad died after being ill for a very long time, and as it happens, it was on father’s day, on the first or second father’s day after MY dad died, after several brutal months fighting with the cancer that eventually killed him. I had to put down the dice, so to speak, and for a short time, thought that Odwain might actually be a character that I scrapped completely. He came too close to something very painful and personal. I don’t remember how, exactly, but the solution to this problem of mine was that if he’s getting close to me on his own, then I might as well just let him in on everything. I can genuinely say that doing that has changed the way that I empathize with my characters and how I make them, and that there is something I share with Odwain that I don’t have with many of my other characters. Also, I like bees.

#odwain #tyromedico

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thebrightsessions · 6 years

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Abt you not confirming any characters as poc: It feels a little performative. Like you go on and on abt how important representation is but you leave poc out in the cold. And this isn't even addressed in a way that makes it seem like you care or have thought abt it. I'm not trying to be rude, but it's a little (a lot) upsetting

I’m really sorry that it seems like I don’t care or that I don’t think about it - I do care and I spend a lot of time thinking about this exact subject. But, like 98% of my thinking, I tend to keep it to myself or conversations with close friends and collaborators. The internet is not always the best place to learn and grow. I even debated answering this ask publicly (or at all - as you guys know, there’s about 900 unanswered asks in here) because I’m always afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, but I want to be transparent about this kind of stuff so that I can learn how to be better.

This is a long post because I want to be as blunt and thorough as possible, so the rest under the cut.

Representation is important but by talking about how I think representation is important, I in no way want to suggest that I am perfect or comprehensive with representation in my own work. I apologize if it’s ever come off that way - that is not my intention. I’m still learning and growing all the time - as is the greater population and wider entertainment world - and this inevitably means that I’m going to make mistakes or be behind the times or have major blind spots. I try to stay aware of my blind spots and listen to people around me who are smarter and better, but that doesn’t mean I can instantly course correct.

When I first started The Bright Sessions, never mentioning anyone’s appearance in the show was a specific intention. I wanted our listeners to be able to imagine whatever they’d like to imagine and, selfishly, I was excited to see different interpretations in fanart, should we be lucky enough to have people drawing our characters. I naively thought that was unequivocally a good thing. After all, I loved imagining my own personal versions of the characters in books I read or podcasts I listened to - isn’t that the benefit of having no visual reference? I realize now how short-sighted that was. I still do think there’s beauty in having a completely open sandbox when it comes to visuals, but I also know better now that concrete representation is vital.

Since then, I’ve been grappling with different questions. If I were to confirm someone’s race, would I be taking away something from someone? What’s the balance of having concrete, meaningful representation versus leaving doors open for listeners to make characters their own? I didn’t think about race in casting - perhaps another naive choice - so in making any races canon, would I have to recast? Limit the character’s race to the actor’s race? Are the rules different in voice acting?

And, were I to make something canon, how would I do so within the podcast? This might seems like a lazy, cop-out question to ask myself, but it is something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about. Certain characters have voiced their sexuality out loud because sexuality is something you can’t see, but it might feel awkward or shoe-horned in to have a character identify their own or someone else’s race out loud. In TV and film, the representation is there because you can see it - it isn’t being told to you. But of course, people do talk about their own experiences as a POC in real life, but that would mean writing a conversation specifically about the POC experience, which I feel isn’t my place to write. So, then, ideally I’d hire a POC writer, except I only recently started getting paid for writing this show myself and the last thing I want to do is cash in on someone’s experience and talents and then not pay them. That seems like the way worse option.

Now, you might ask, “why not just confirm it on here or somewhere else online?”. Because it’s one thing for me to answer questions about a character’s favorite food or birthdays, but in my opinion, something as important as racial representation only counts if it’s actually in canon. I’ve confirmed some things that are heavily suggested in the podcast, but I’ve tended not to give answers about things like sexuality and race because until those things appear in the show, I have no right to claim them publicly for my characters. That’s how I feel right now but, as with all of this, my feelings may evolve.

(sidebar: I did confirm Chloe’s panromanticism on tumblr before getting to it in the show, but she was already out as ace and I had a pretty decent idea that we were going to talk about her exes down the line)

So those have been some of the many thoughts that have been running through my head the past two and a half years and I still don’t have perfect answers for them. They are not at all meant to be excuses - I’ve been fairly upfront about the fact that my two big blind spots as a writer are gender and race representation. I know. That doesn’t mean I know how to be better. To be totally honest, I’m pretty scared to tackle those subjects as a white cis writer. I feel more surefooted writing queer characters - even ones with a different identity than my own - and male characters - even though I’m a woman - because men have been represented plenty in media. But when there’s already such a dearth of good POC representation (and the spectrum of gender representation) it feels like a much weightier thing to take on. But that should in no way stop me. Just because I fear identifying a character’s race in an audio format might lead to clunky dialogue, doesn’t mean it has to sound exposition-y and awkward. If I want to be a good writer, I need to find ways to write meaningful representation in multiple mediums, without sacrificing smoothness of writing. If representation is important to me in my work - which it is - I need to walk the walk and make sure that I’m considering what the breadth of representation actually means.

(another sidebar because it always bears repeating: not everything can be everything for everyone. I get a lot of asks along the lines of “will you ever have a character who is x” and the reality is that I’m not running through a checklist of groups to represent in my work because I think that does lead to bad storytelling. That being said, if I want to challenge myself by telling new and diverse stories (diverse in the broadest sense of the word) and if I’m someone who believes that entertainment can be a force for positive change, I will do my best to widen the spectrum of the characters I’m writing. But: I am not at all obligated to do so. If a writer wants to tell the same story about the same people in 900 different ways for the rest of their life, they are allowed to do that. I wouldn’t want to do it - I personally believe that if you’re making something for potential mass consumption (as anything on the internet is), you’d ideally have good intentions that it would have a positive influence on the world. But the entertainment you consume does not have a responsibility to you. An artist is responsible for their art - if you make something and it has an affect on the world, negative or positive, you have to live with that. But as an audience member, I don’t think I’m owed anything by what I consume because I choose what I consume, and all the baggage that comes with it. If I waited for that piece of art that is perfect in representation and entirely unproblematic, I would be waiting quite literally for forever. Which brings me to my final point...)

To be completely, brutally honest, there’s a trend on tumblr/the internet in general that I’ve seen grow exponentially in the past ten years that really worries me. And that is the constant tearing down of anything deemed even slightly problematic. I’ve grown so much as a human and artist in the past three years alone and I live in fear of making a mistake that will end my career and alienate my audience forever. It’s easy to get the impression from the internet that there is no room for growth. I would be lying if I said that wasn’t a factor in me steering away sometimes from things where the chances of me fucking up and courting hate are high. Again - not an excuse. I shouldn’t give a rat’s ass what people on the internet think of me, I should stop being a coward and try things that are important to me, even if I do them badly on the first try. But I’m human and the truth is that strangers on the internet being mean to me actually really fucking hurts. And it especially hurts if I don’t even get a second try to do better. It is impossible and extremely dumb for me to wait for a time when I feel like I can tell certain stories without messing them up, but I think that’s an element of what I’ve been doing. That’s bad and weak-willed and I’m sorry.

(final sidebar: this ask is not an example of the above. This isn’t a rude ask - you are well within your rights to be upset about this and as much as it stings to know I’ve disappointed listeners, it’s always good for me to know because that’s how I grow. I’m talking more about the hypothetical fear that I try to deliver on something that’s important to lots of people and fail and get a lot of means asks and then have a long cry about it.)

I don’t know if this sheds any light on my thought process or just muddies things further - I’m clearly still figuring things out. I think the main thing I’m trying to say is: I hear you and I know and I’m going to try and do better but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do things perfectly or even well. None of what I’ve said here makes up for the lack of representation or lets me off the hook, but I hope it gives you some insight into where I’m at now. The original run of TBS will unfortunately always be lacking in this regard - there’s nothing I can do to change that. But in projects moving forwards, I fully have the intention to highlight new voices and stories and perspectives. Especially now that I’m in more of a position to actually pay people. But I’m not going to sit here and promise you that I’ll satisfy you with my writing in the future. I have no idea if I will. I have no idea if I’ll even satisfy myself. All I ask, from you and all our listeners and my team and even myself, is that we continue being honest with each other and that we always, always leave room for growth.

I’m sorry I’ve failed you, but I hope you’ll give me a chance to do better in the future. Stay strange.

#answered #oof sorry #I really went off on a tangent there about the relationship between art and audience #representation #long post #I hope this answers your question?#which I guess isn't really a question #I hope this explains some stuff #and I'm sure you're not the only person who feels this way #floatyflannel

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withinthescripts · 6 years

Text

Season 2, Cassette 6: Montreal Museum of Fine Arts (1978)

[tape recorder turns on]

Hello, this is Zoe Tremblay, lead curator of the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts. Bienvenue, welcome to our museum. This audio guide for the exhibit “Small Items, Big Picture” features assorted works by celebrated artist Claudia Atieno.

Shortly before this exhibit opened to the public, news broke that her body was found, confirming her death after five years missing. Across the art world, we are saddened to learn confirmation of Atieno’s death, but content in finally confirming what we had long suspected.

Before the news, we had invited artist, art historian and friend of Atieno, Roimata Mangakāhia, to orate this cassette. It would have been understandable in her grief for Mangakāhia to decline to record this audio guide after finding out the details of her colleague’s death, but Mangakāhia agreed to uphold her obligation. We are blessed and pleased she could do so.

The exhibit begins in the Desmarais Pavilion, second level.

[bell chimes]

Claudia Atieno was one of our New World’s most respected artists. Since the Great Reckoning, no one else combined skill, macroscopic vision, and subtle political rhetoric quite like Atieno.

I would like to start this audio guide by saying she will be missed. She has been missed for many years, really, but the pain is greater than before. It is real now. I didn’t think… [crying] I really didn’t think…

But this is not important, my feelings are not relevant to this audio guide. We’re here simply to contemplate Claudia’s work.

Painting 1. “Mantis on Branch”.

Look first at the branch. Atieno has used shades of lavender and green in the wood. Long, meandering lines of light colors contrasting the dark grays of the branch itself. These lines, like two pastel rivers…

I had hoped her disappearance six years ago was an attempt to revitalize her career with new ideas, greater ambitions, I was wrong. She just died. She’s just been dead all this time. We all just die, I suppose. Why expect more?

In her final years, Claudia had grown more artistically prolific. But as the quantity of her art increased, so did the quality for subject matter plummet.

I was with her often, in what turned out to be the final years of her life. Do I wish I had known they would be her final years? Would I have changed the way I spoke to her? Would I have broached different subjects? I suppose there’s no way to be sure. [sighs] I suppose it’s pointless to relive it, over and over.

I talk to her a lot. Our discussions about artistic evolution went from lively to combative in those years. She became obsessed with tiny objects and figures, finding microscopic details interesting. Searching for possible hidden meanings in the repetition and mundanity of everyday life.

With the exception of the parties and happenings which were plentiful, it was a life mostly spent alone in her home in Cornwall. Her lovers, including Pavel Zubov and Cassandra Reza, visited during times of celebration and merrymaking, they did not live with her. I lived with her during the other times.

I alone kept her from being alone.

Look at the mantis’ face in this painting. It is difficult to see it directly, as the insect is slightly turned away. I would like to tell you this is meaningful, and if you find meaning here, good for you. Most likely Atieno simply painted a still insect that she saw in the garden, because she was trying to keep busy. And rather than change her position and perspective, rather than attempt to seek out meaning elsewhere, she simply painted what was in front of her.

How many mantises have you seen before? What makes them interesting?

[bell chimes]

Painting two, “Rubbish Number 3”.

This is a wastebin with paper in it. With an impasto technique, it’s difficult to discern exactly what these papers are, but they appear to be standard and unbound A3 pages. We can assume they were old files or notes. A crumbled page lies behind the bin. Look closely at the crumpled paper. Can you read what it says? No. No. you can’t.

[bell chimes]

Painting three, “Rubbish Number 7”.

This is a banana peel. Looking at the Spanish floor tiles, I imagine this was painted in her kitchen. Atieno was, generally speaking, a tidy person. So I guess this is ironic?

Yep, it’s a banana peel. Hmm. I have little else to add here.

[bell chimes]

Painting four, “Rubbish Number 15”.

The final known painting in her rubbish collection, this is a wrapped stack of discarded newspapers along a street corner. It’s clear that these are the Western Europa Times, London Edition, but the text on the front page is not clear. All you can make out are the words “200 million” and “population”, which would suggest these were from October 1971.

Atieno talked often of the days before the Great Reckoning. She was an infant when our population was nearly eradicated by the new weapons of a great war, and by the toxic air, which took almost as many lives as the godlike explosions throughout the 1920’s. After the foundation of the society, those born prior to the Reckoning were not granted indirect contact with family, but punitive action was rarely sought in those cases.

Occasionally, she received letters and voice recordings from her grandmother, Renee. It’s not clear how Renee knew where her grand daughter lived, or if these letters were monitored for content. Renee was not allowed to communicate familial love or give any indication about Atieno’s family, dead or alive. So she simply told her grand daughter about what life was like before the reckoning. Foods they ate, like wild birds or boar. Detailed descriptions of robes and headdresses popular in the previous century, and even recitations of poetry she learned in school.

With the loss of so many libraries and information centers during the reckoning, Renee wanted to convey, if not love for her last remaining grandchild, a written and oral history of facts and tales that might otherwise be lost.

Look again at the painting of the stack of newspapers. Atieno was acknowledging the renewal of human life on Earth, and its new roles and rules. The new culture the society has brung and will continue to bring. The power of information and its manipulation.

You are one of 200 million in the world. Does that make you special, or insignificant? Is it possible to be both?

Atieno was always excited about the New Renaissance. After the Reckoning, new artist with little history to direct them had to find new methods, new narratives. Art had been stilted and interrupted for so long. It had felt like a luxury the world could ill afford.

But by the early 1970’s, Atieno seemed to have grown weary. In this oil painting of hopeful news, we see gray twine holding together gray pages on gray pavement.

Look at the painting for a hint of color. [whispers] Oh find some color, you really need to find colors!

[bell chimes]

Painting five, “Needlework”.

This is not a painting, clearly, but an actual piece of needlework, the only known example of this medium by Atieno.

When I lived with her, I used needle craft such as cross stitch and knitting to pass the time. I was never much of a reader, and painting for me was more draining than it was for Atieno. She could paint for hours without much of a break, whereas I often had to stop after 45 minutes or so to clear my head.

During afternoon high tide, I would go cliff diving to refresh my body, to energize myself for the more intellectual and minimally physical tasks of painting or drawing in my notebook. The shock of cold water slapping my skin woke me to a world with no thoughts, only instincts. My muscles tensed at every leap, calmed at every splash, and my mind was full not of thoughts or ideas, but feathers.

Atieno did not care for the thrill of a plunge into the sea. Her thrills came from challenging the rigid regulations of the society through her artwork. I suspect she often tried to keep in touch with her sister. I have no proof of this, other than the society secretary of trade, Vishwati Ramados saying this to me. Ramados once pointed out a childhood drawing of two girls in a garden, quietly talking. Claudia in the background watching. “That’s not Claudia’s school,” Ramados said, “she didn’t go there, see her sister clearly drawn?” [scoffs] “How would you know her sister?” I asked. Ramados cocked her head and smiled, as if I had complimented her hair.

Additionally, Atieno was paranoid that she was being watched closely by people. Obviously politicians like Ramados, but others too. She welcomed the stateswomen offices and agents into her home regularly, entertaining them with wine, food, music, dance and stories of her youthful debauchery often to the point of absurdity. Maintaining these amicable relationships alleviated any accusations cast on her of sedition or slander. Plus, as long as she kept her message abstracted in symbols and metaphor, Atieno could always claim that her painting was nothing more than a pig on a roast, or a vivisected mouse, rather than a direct poke at a specific security chief or geneticist. Indeed, she did claim this. even I cannot say for certain what her political views truly were.

Needlework was a pastime I never taught Atieno, she never asked. But she would on occasion walk past me in the parlor or outside in the garden, stitching phrases or flowers onto a linen circle. I had no idea, until the Montreal Museum showed me this piece, that Atieno ever took an interest in needlepoint. And I can only assume she taught herself the technique. She had no books on the subject, so it’s likely she found some of my needlepoint projects and watched my movement to learn how to do it herself. I’m not sure why she never asked me directly. I’m not sure why she felt the need to take this from me.

Of course, as this is Atieno, she was better than I was, taking my passive pastime and improving it to the level of fine art. In this piece, a simple arrangement of yellow carnations, she has clearly dyed segments of the thread to create a depth of color.

Pay careful attention to the simple dots and marks of blues and pinks and greens in the leaves. Not unlike some of the blots of color used by the impressionists.

Think of a time in your life when you were outdone.

[bell chimes] [tape recorder turns off] [ads] [tape recorder turns on]

[bell chimes]

Painting six, “Housefly”.

Flies were common at the Cornwall house in summer. They gathered on bookshelves and around edges of doors and windows. Atieno strictly kept food out of all rooms except the kitchen and parlor, which is where she entertained, but this is not where the flies gathered. Even with the tightly sealed windows and doors that remained shut, the flies found their way into the home and could not escape. Atieno would often return from her visits to Africa or South America to a Cornwall home lined with dead flies, like spilled raisins, who had attempted to escape along window sills.

This painting is of a living fly, along the top of a leather-bound copy of Alexander Dumas’ “The Count of Monte Cristo”. Atieno must have worked hard not to startle the fly away. There’s no existing photograph or sketch of this fly, so either she quietly and slowly painted, as a very patient fly quietly and slowly sat atop one of the few remaining copies of this French masterwork, or she painted the insect in great detail from memory.

[bell chimes]

Painting seven, “Darkened Room”.

This oil on canvas of an empty bedroom depicts a small unlit room the the very top of the house. When I lived with her, this was the room I slept in. I have a closer emotional tie to this painting than you could possibly have, dear listener. I can feel those cool cotton sheets, (--) [0:18:31] and billowy pillows under my head and across my body. Atieno tucked blankets tightly under mattresses, and the effect on the sleeping guest was not unlike a swaddled baby. Nights in Cornwall were cozy and nurturing, surrounded by ocean we could hear only cresting of the waves and the occasional birds and crickets through the cracked summer windows.

Daytimes could be different. While she adored throwing parties and filling the house with her eclectic collection of friends, Atieno sometimes grew tired of the guests with little warning. As I stayed with her for months at a time, I found I needed to escape her judgment and chiding some afternoons. She would want to work in the kitchen or on the patio or in the living room and my presence irritated her. She made this known with a curt “I need this area to work, find another place to do yours.” So I would paint in the bedroom, or sketch, or knit. Sometimes I would take the boat and head back to the mainland, go for walks in the rubble of nearby neighborhoods. Searching for old photographs of families, just to see what families used to look like. Wondering if my family was still alive and what it must have been like back in the times of fathers and mothers and brothers and sisters.

I know the final generation was full of violence and tribalism. A senseless conservatism of culture and values which led to war. But I still revel in how similar the awful purveyors of destruction looked just like us.

The few photos I found during my excursions into the rubble often showed two middle-aged humans with dead-eyed smiles and proper Sunday dress, standing behind two or three children, equally dressed and hiding their teeth behind stiff crescent lips. Sometimes the father would have his hand firmly on the oldest boy’s shoulders, holding him into place as if keeping a balloon from lifting out of gravity. The mother would sometimes have her hand on the daughter’s neck, as if she was holding a glass of water and not a small child. Sometimes in the ruins of these homes, I found pieces of ceramic lamps or shreds of sofa cushions. Sometimes I found saplings or vines growing through the twisted grids of stove top crates or out of bath pipes. It was not uncommon to find remnants of bodies too. Burned or brittle. And all but unrecognizable.

I suppose these findings would have made for good still life paintings, and with better foresight, I may have taken my brushes with me on these walks. But given the proliferation of destruction, still uncleaned by our tiny recovering population, I imagine every art student with an empty sketchbook has thought to capture the grisly aftermath of a global devastation. But art is often just record keeping, letting us know that an apple looked the same to Cézanne in 1895 as it does to a grocer in 1974. Or a dog in a 15th century tapestry has the same shape and size ratio to humans as one today, on St Catherine Street right here in Montreal.

When I did find photographs among the shells of former houses, I collected them in an album that I kept under Atieno’s guest bed, shown hre in this painting. Of course the guest room she has painted is uninhabited, ready for overnight guests. Even if its pristine neatness does not exactly welcome them.

In the open space next to the chest of drawers you see in her painting is where I set my easel. Mostly, my relationship with Claudia was positive, friendly. She was chatty during morning and afternoon tea and n the late evenings just before bed, but when she began to work, she disdained my presence. I have been critical of much of her work in this exhibit, and I hope the people of Montreal Museum of Fine Arts will not take offense. Claudia could create color and spectacle unlike anyone. Not only on the canvas but in social setting. She was not herself a rambunctious sort, but her demeanor brought out the wild side of so many. She quietly encouraged people to let go of inhibitions, while she displayed little of the same behavior. I always wanted more out of the work, and I hope you would have wanted the same.

We now know she’s dead, of course, so there’s not much that can be done at this point. Perhaps I should leave it be.

I loved her like a friend. Like a lover. Like a teacher. Like the sister the society won’t let me have.

The tide comes in and it goes out. You’re either there when you need to be or you’re not, time is impervious to critique. For all her supposed fighting against the new society, the society still is. Her most minor works hang on a wall in the former country of Canada- there should be more for her, for any of us.

[crying] I’m sorry. Montreal’s lovely. The Museum of Fine Arts is a real gem. Claudia… is lucky to have her work displayed. Let’s look at the final painting in this exhibit.

[bell chimes]

Painting eight, “Guests”.

Here Atieno depicts a party in the parlor. Look at the third guest from the right near the upper corner. That, I believe, is me. You can also see her former lovers, Pavel front and center and Chrisette just behind Pavel. Both are holding goblets of red wine and dancing, the wine spilling carelessly into the air, eternally aloft, never reaching the floor. [chuckles]

No musicians are shown here. Often guitarists and singers would perform next to the non-working fireplace and the piano. She rarely had anyone playing the piano, as if she felt it too stuffy. Also her record player was positioned on the bookshelf, but in this painting, its usual location is filled with books. She’s editing her life here, I believe, as in reality she had few books.

[scoffs] I’m not sure what the guests at this party are dancing to. Based on Pavel and Chrisette’s presence at the same party I was at, I place this painting as March 1972. Only days before the last time I saw her. This was the last moment any of these people would see Atieno.

Chrisette, Pavel. Deputy minister of culture, Sanjay Vishwanath. The woman who headed the childhood detachment and development program for the society. Those two men who claimed to be marketing manages for the World Bank, but were most definitely private investigators.

I was there, in Cornwall, on Claudia Atieno’s last day alive. [fights back tears] Last day seen alive. It was in March 31, 1972. I suppose there’s no way to know exactly when she died. I remember the evening clearly, I had returned from the cliff diving to return to a painting before the party. She was in the garden behind the house. Guests were just arriving. I don’t remember this party, I remember a-a-a quiet dinner.

The next day, or the day after, I can’t be sure… I, I left for Paris to visit friends or Amsterdam, was it? The Reichs Museum, I don’t know I can’t remember, it’s been so long. Oh, I really should know these things. It was Pavel who reported her missing to the police on April the 16, I don’t know why he came back to see her or why she let him. It’s strange to mourn someone who was never a regular presence in your life. My friendship ith Claudia was characterized by long absences. We were either together entirely, sharing food and shelter, work and leisure, sharing everything for months at a time, or we were wholly apart, with no contact a tall. Neither of us being much for letter-writing.

I’ve grown used to never seeing her these past few eyars, when there was still hope. So why now do I feel so broken? Why does it feel like she’s been pulled… so suddenly out of my life, when in reality she hasn’t been in it at all? [crying] I feel as bereft as I would if I’d been with her til yesterday. As if I would if she disappeared right from in front of me. Oh wait no, that’s not right, it was in autumn, she went missing in autumn. I’m sure of it.

[tape recorder turns off]

Within the Wires is written by Written by Jeffrey Cranor and Janina Matthewson and Performed by Rima Te Wiata, with original music by Mary Epworth. Find more of Mary’s music at maryepworth.com. The voice of Zoe Tremblay was Kate Leth. Don’t forget to go check out the amazing new Within the Wires T-shirts and Claudia Atieno artprint at withinthewires.com

Within the Wires is a production of Night Vale Presents. Another of our podcasts I think you’d love is Welcome to Night Vale. Perhaps you’re already familiar with the strange desert town of Night Vale and this is just a reminder that we have over 100 episodes for you to hear, for free, wherever you get your podcasts. And if you haven’t listened to Welcome to Night Vale, go listen to episode 1, or any episode really, you’ll be caught up in no time, and see what you think. Hear? Hear what you think?

OK, our time is done. It’s you time now. Time to stop by the museum gift shop, grab yourself a souvenir book of paintings about [ineffective (hotel) coffee makers], pick up a poster featuring [your high school sweetheart], and buy a commemorative vase made out of [whatever it is they make vases out of. Wet sand? IDK man.]

#within the wires #within the wires credits #season 2 #season 2 episode 5 #montreal museum of fine arts 1978 #this episode is so heartbreaking #i don't usually comment on here #but dammit

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simplyoriginalcharacters · 6 years

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Acidalia Planitia, Cipher

(Her full name and title is obnoxiously long- Acidalia Planitia e Alestra Harmonia Cipher et Aquilifer- but this is a setting where every name is obnoxiously long, so it doesn’t really matter.)

Background Info: Dalia is from a society called Eleutheria, a future Earth in the middle of a 3-way Cold War between two opposing rebel movements and the old government. They’re also at war with an alien race, but explaining the specifics is just too complicated here. The important bits are that it’s definitely dystopia- genetic mods are ubiquitous in the rich but nearly impossible to attain for the poor unless they’re forcibly given by the government, and every male child is enlisted in the military at birth. Women inherit their mother’s jobs, men fight until they die. Life expectancy is low not only due to the war and frequent deaths of kids barely old enough to fight, but also the complete lack of any safety regulations anywhere, frequent gang violence, and the rebellions killing each other’s members. So, it’s not great for anyone involved.

Name: She mostly just goes by Dalia or Acidalia. In this setting, names work in a weird way- Cipher is her title and Alestra is her mother's name, and they combine to make her full name.

Gender/Pronouns: She/her, cisgender female.

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: I suppose if you were to get into specifics, she’d be a heteroromantic asexual, but asexuality is pretty much expected in this society, so she mostly just calls herself straight and is done with it.

Age: 20 years

Birthdate: They don’t use normal Earth time, so it’s not something I really thought about. Birthdays aren't terribly important events anyway in this world- the majority don’t even know theirs.

Occupation: As her title says, she’s a Cipher. It’s kind of like a scientist who specializes in human DNA and genetic modification- a very, very wealthy and over-glorified scientist. Because the ability to literally manipulate thousands of other’s biology at will makes people rightfully scared of you, the Ciphers are the top caste in the system and wield immense power. The position is hereditary and has existed for centuries, and Dalia’s been studying it for years. However, she’s also an important figure in a revolutionary movement- her brother, a child soldier whose existence she wasn’t supposed to know of, was the one who brought her into the whole thing by showing her the injustice of how he and others were being treated. She has since become a very important figurehead (it’s not out of the ordinary; life expectancy is just so short a 20-year-old leader is nowhere near unheard of.)

Height: Tall; the upper class mostly is due to genetic mods.

Build: Average.

Skin Tone: Olive.

Hair: It changes pretty often- unnatural hair colors are a symbol of wealth due to, again, genetic mods. It changes from orange to turquoise (neither of which is flattering) and then, once she stops having such easy access to luxuries due to war, it turns its natural black.

Eyes: Naturally brown. They used to be pink, but she hated them and thought they were creepy.

Identifying Marks: She always wears white (color-coded castes) and usually copious amounts of jewelry. The blue hair was a pretty big identifying mark, but otherwise she’s not particularly recognizable to outsiders who haven’t seen her face on propaganda before. She does have a long scar up her side and one in her inner thigh (she got stabbed… long story) but it’s not usually visible to anyone.

Appearance: On propoganda, she’s usually portrayed as an almost goddess-like figure, but in actuality, she’s a lot more normal. She’s still graceful and elegant- highest caste- but also a lot more unsure of herself and blunt in person. She’s beautiful by the standards of the society she lives in, but pretty in an almost fake, uncanny-valley-like way (also due to genetic mods…) and very unapproachable seeming.

Personality: She lives kind of a double life- she has to act like the stereotypical, classist Cipher society expects of her in public, but also the fiery Revolutionary leader the people under her need to see. She’s been raised to be a ruler and a leader, but has come to see her citizens as her responsibility and something akin to her children instead of a group of idiots who are below her. She’s very protective of her younger siblings- the protectiveness for her brother, a child soldier, is what drove her to join a rebellion in the first place- and very quick to blame herself for anything bad that happens to them. She’s taken the message of “a government exists to protect its people” and applied it to herself, and she would do absolutely anything for her cause. She doesn’t consider herself inherently better than the people she’s leading, but does see herself as responsible for them and making their situation better, because it’s her family that caused all this suffering in the first place- and, as a Cipher, she’s one of the only people powerful enough to make a change. However, her self-sacrificial attitude and her unapproachable appearance make it hard for her to make friends with anyone, and there’s a certain degree of disconnect between her and the rest of the Revolution.

Motivations: To fix the mess her family started centuries ago- a three-way civil war, a war with an alien species, mass poverty, et cetera. Also to protect her younger siblings. (This goes horribly wrong, but she tried.)

Current Goal: To stop mass rioting that’s broken out as the civil war came to a head.

Life Goal: To restore a democratic government to the planet, or at least set up some scenario where life is better for her people. Best Quality: Classy, elegant, smart, and a good liar. Excellent at democracy and diplomacy, and can make incredibly powerful speeches. Her words can start- or end- wars. Inspiring to many people. Also, from years of programming DNA and studying past civilizations, she has an incredibly massive knowledge of biology and history.

Worst Quality: Can be patronizing when she acts like everyone else is her responsibility to take care of. Very unapproachable and bad at having meaningful social relationships. Very guilty about her family’s past and what happened to her siblings, whom she failed to protect. (Her little sister joined an opposing movement and her brother was murdered in an attempt to help Dalia. It didn’t work out for either side.) Blames herself for everything and can be a huge drag to other people- trying to talk to someone who’s heaped all of your own issues onto her guilt is never fun.

Fears: Not being able to protect her civilization is a main one. She’s also terrified of coming face to face with the sister who betrayed her again- not because she’s afraid of being hurt, but because she’s afraid of having to hurt her sister. There’s also a soldier called TB-2116, a leader of an opposing rebellion and eugenics movement- he’s tried to kill her, is implied to have murdered her brother, and just generally unnerves her.

Hobbies: She likes chess and fashion/hair/makeup; one of her weird skills is finding clothes that are perfect for everything.

Talents: Years of living a double life have made her an excellent liar. She also has a rather pretty voice, and can play some future form of the piano, but rarely gets the chance to. The arts are considered trashy in this society.

Group/Organizational Affiliations: “The Revolution.“

Family: A brother, nicknamed Tee from his serial number, whom she isn’t supposed to know about. (The sexes aren’t supposed to mix, and especially not in high society.) A sister, Aleskynn, who isn’t supposed to exist (one daughter rule) and winds up betraying her. And her mother, Alestra, a member of the opposing eugenics movement.

Best Friends: She was pretty close to Artemis, another Revolutionary member, but Artemis died. Her best friend is Andromeda, who is also another Revolutionary around Dalia’s age. She winds up getting pretty close to an alien politician named Raeilya, and becomes sort of a mentor to Lyra, a 16-year-old Cantator (a profession comparable to “actresses” in ancient Byzantine.)

Relationship Status: Single and pretty OK with it.

Significant Other: None, right now. Dating and just romance in general aren’t very well-known or important concepts in a society where the sexes have been forbidden to mix and intercaste relationships are looked down upon.

Other Relationships: Friends-is with a guy named David, a Martian farmer and a Revolutionary. Somewhat close to a slew of people: Athena and Ree, two budding astronomers, Atlas, another Revolutionary, etc. Is part of an intense one-sided rivalry with Cassiopeia, a woman who is just ever-so-slightly less powerful than her, and very bloodthirsty- they used to be friends, but Cass’s increasing hatred and extremism made them break apart. Influential Memory: Watching her grandmother Harmonia’s assassination as a child. Seeing Aleskynn’s birth (well, emergence from an artificial machine, but it’s pretty much the same thing in this world.) Nearly being murdered by TB-2116.

Role Model: Eventually, her late aunt Anya. Also, the mythical Great Elders- people who were said to have saved the world and founded the society thousands of years ago.

Crush: Not a super huge one, but she thinks David is kind of cute. He’s in a committed relationship with someone else, and has two daughters (he’s 32, but shorter expected lifespans and lack of any sex ed make for young parents) so she knows it’ll never go anywhere and isn't bothered by it. (It’s less of an actual crush and more of an instinctive attraction to practically the first decent, non-family, not far too young or old guy she meets.)

Source of Embarrassment: Her family’s history of genocide, slavery at one point (not technically slavery, but pretty much slavery) and unethical genetic mods furthering the class divide. Her orange hair and pink eyes phase. Propaganda featuring her as a kid, mostly just because it looks absolutely obnoxious and manipulative, which it is.

Source of Pride: She’s an excellent leader and she knows it. She’s incredibly good at getting people to listen to her and empathizing with people who would normally dislike her. She’s also pretty proud of her singing voice, but it’s a talent she never really gets to show (the arts is not a well-respected field, and for a politician to take up painting/singing/dancing is considered rather trashy.)

Backstory: Acidalia was born to a wealthy Cipher woman called Alestra on Mars (thus, her name- calling a girl Acidalia Planitia is like calling a baby Sydney or Paris today.) She watched her grandmother get assassinated when she was 6 years old, which was the first time she realized the extent of the “slight unrest” her mother told her about. She was taught DNA mods, as well as the art of keeping a bunch of people subdued and in constant worship of you, Big Brother style. Her sister was born when she was 7 or 8, which was when she realized her mother's hypocrisy multiple daughters was strictly banned, yet the Ciphers could do it freely. As a young teen, she met her brother for the first time, and quickly joined the revolution, rising quickly through the ranks due to a combination of her political skills and general knowledge others didn’t have. She there herself entirely into it, working a double life until she was 20. A murder attempt by Cass, TB-2116 and Alestra (complicated reasons) started an all-out civil war, and that’s where the main story begins.

This seems really long, I hope I wasn’t too overzealous. :)

Hello! Thanks for sharing Acidalia with us! Review will be under the cut.

My first question is what point of the war are we at when Acidalia’s story starts? Because you only have a little bit of time to establish the world, I’d like if you could get us right to where your work is about to open as far as her appearance, what she’s doing, etc. You can give us a bit more lead-up in the backstory, but everywhere should be as close to what she’s going to be like at page 1 as possible.

While I like that you’ve taken a lot of consideration into how she appears to others, I don’t know what she actually looks like besides tall and olive-skinned. This would be a good time to set up what the standards of beauty are in your universe. They don’t have to be the same as the beauty conventions of our world, but in a society which seems this heavily genetically modified, I’m sure that the societal conventions of beauty have also been heavily adjusted towards one ideal!

As far as Acidalia’s personality goes, you’ve done a very good job of nailing home the idea of her as a revolution leader. However, I think that you may want to take a little bit more time to describe the personality of her as an individual, rather than as a public figure. All you’ve given me so far in terms of personality is that she is protective and unapproachable. But those are things that people from the outside looking in would probably think. How does Acidalia feel about her position? Does she feel frustrated at times? Scared? Vulnerable? What makes her happy or contented? I feel like there may be more to her than just protective and hard to read. Even when you are telling us about her qualities and goals, try and figure this out from the perspective of Acidalia, who is, I’m assuming, a relatively young woman at the top of her social caste and also the figurehead of the revolution. How does she deal with that kind of pressure from day to day?

You give a very good idea of the people she has surrounding her–but there is a bit of inconsistency here. If all men are supposed to be conscripted into service, then I’m not sure how men like David would be around for her to connect with.

As far as her backstory goes–I feel like this should be longer in comparison to the rest of her profile. From what I know of Acidalia, I’m not sure why just knowing her brother was in the military would be enough for her to run off and join the revolutionaries. Also, you never really go into how her family is directly to blame for the dystopian landscape the world is in now, or how that affects her on a day-to-day basis. If she is working so hard to fight against it, I think we need a bit more information about how the events of her backstory have actually impacted who she is as a person.

Hopefully this is helpful for you moving forward! Please let me know if you have any questions!

- Choco

#SOC Critique #OC Critique #submission

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garbandier · 6 years

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Child Please: Concerning the Pyszczyk Maneuver

“Human memory is like a scribe laboriously setting down letters while his left hand erases the text of the past. Every generation knocks together its own apocalypse and utopia and, confident in its own powers, believes its utopia and apocalypse will come off exceptionally well, unlike any other, will be final.” —Zbigniew Herbert, “Passo Romano.” The Collected Prose: 1948-1998 (pp. 651-652). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.

The mind, like the human face, is a pebble on which the stream of time exerts tremendous powers of revision and change. I love creeks and the places that nourish them. Few occupations delight me more than stopping in some leafy cloister to consider the subtle arts by which time’s whimsy alters the rocks in a stream. In wheeling, whirling courses of silt and sediment, in teeming eddies and gurgling little pockets, the pebbles in the stream are constantly prodded and perused, tested and turned, worked on and prised and pushed by the patient fingers of the water. Heavy rocks and sunken logs and broken branches cluttering the stream are massaged by detritus and flowing sediment and whatever else the churning waters may choose to marshal as a persuasive tool. The stream’s hands exert their influence quietly beneath a calm surface glazed with floating leaves and spidery skimmers. The water might spend a hundred years smoothing a single stone. Or instantly the stream might give in to greed and gorge itself on a chunk of earth from an overhanging bank, or snap a mossy log and ferry it to some new position.

Eventually, the artistic collaboration between time and water rearranges the small stream-things and the large stream-things, and what emerges is a new pattern of movement, a slightly new direction for the whole stream. The water’s work changes the rocks, but the story does not stop there: the changed rocks change the stream in turn; alterations in the stony bed change the course of the stream itself. The new course changes the rocks in new ways, and so forth.

The human mind is altered by time, but time itself is baptized by contact with the imagination. The imagination amplifies how we experience the past: we can gratefully imagine how things could have turned out much worse than they did. Conversely, we can choose to torment ourselves with the power to imagine how much better life could have been. But the imagination can also make the future seem inhabitable. The person for whom the future holds no imaginable significance is likely to enjoy a less meaningful present.

As someone who wrestles with depression, I have real sympathy for anyone who considers the future likely to be desolate and uninhabitable. Nor am I surprised when bleak assumptions lead to bleak opinions and bleak paintings. But I must try to cast a critical eye on such assumptions when they arise in my own mind. And when bleak surveys of the future form the basis for drastic calls to action, I wonder exactly how did it happen, this shriveling of the imagination, this inability (in the words of poet Dana Gioia) to “dream of a future so fitting and so just / that our desire will bring it into being.”

What follows are some scattered thoughts on a recent opinion piece by Kristen Pyszczyk positing an ecological mandate to procreate less.

Pyszczyk takes as her starting point the announcement by Fixer Upper stars Chip and Joanna Gaines that they are expecting their fifth child. Pyszczyk notes an online backlash against this announcement, and says she was surprised:

Not because I disagree with their critics, who admonished the couple for having too many kids, but rather because it's a sentiment so seldom heard in a society that generally celebrates procreation with almost militant cheerfulness.

I am amazed by Pyszczyk’s apparent struggle to understand why people celebrate procreation so much. Complaining about some taboo against “criticizing parents for having too many kids” would be like Westboro Baptist Church members grousing about a taboo against protesting military funerals. Society has no need for taboos against notions that can only bubble up in the mind of someone predisposed to extreme zealotry. How pleasant it is to imagine that disagreements stem from the irrationality of others. If one’s position meets widespread unpopularity because of a “taboo”, an “almost militant” sentiment, or an “uncritical” contagion, then surely one is excused from the risky task of scrutinizing one’s own motives too closely.

While having a child or five is a very personal choice, it's also a choice that affects everyone who inhabits our planet. So while many people might find the backlash unwarranted, it's actually a conversation we need to have in order to challenge our uncritical acceptance of the life-fulfillment-through-procreation story.

Pyszczyk employs the term “conversation” three times in this piece, but she uses it as a euphemism for whatever is the opposite of conversation. She seems to have no interest in persuading anyone through dialogue. She advocates calling people out for having lots of kids and shaming them into having fewer kids (henceforth will I refer to this as the Pyszczk Maneuver). Oh, I don’t know; a conversation centering on being shamed and called out just does not appeal much to me.

Procreation is becoming a global public health concern, rather than a personal decision. So when people do irresponsible things like having five children, we absolutely need to be calling them out.

The only noteworthy ecological effect of “calling out” parents with lots of kids as “irresponsible” would be to befoul the atmosphere by exposing one’s own toxic asininity.

Someone who might be inclined to have children, yet who chooses not to in order to help the earth, has my admiration for incurring so real a cost by acting in a principled way. That person also has a measure of my sadness, because I imagine the path they choose to walk may be very lonely at times. I say all this as I walk my own lonely path in life.

Pyszczyk writes:

Population control is a fraught topic, and carries with it associations with eugenics and other nasty historical events. But we still need to talk about it, and people who reacted strongly to the Gaines' pregnancy announcement know this on some level. It's not an exaggeration to say that the survival of our species depends on it.

Population control is not merely associated with “nasty historical events” like eugenics; population control was the animating principle for the perpetrators of those atrocities. Indeed, the history of population control alarmism is a long train of abuse and hubristic overreach. Today’s theories remain tainted (inescapably, to my mind) by the heinous stank of odious and cruel social projects like eugenics and one-child policies, not to mention the spectacularly failed predictions of famine and devastation made by the likes of Thomas Malthus, Paul Ehrlich, and others.

By no means should past abuses and quackpot tendencies invalidate concerns about humanity’s impact on the natural world. Quite the contrary. Likewise, just because every so often some kook hauls himself out of a dank pit and decides to predict the date of Doomsday in the name of the Lord, his kookery has exactly zero bearing on the truth claims of Christianity.

I am troubled by the way Pyszczk glosses over eugenicist and racist aspects of population theory. She claims that “the survival of our species depends on” population control. If the situation is that dire, if [cue cinematic music] the fate of humanity is at stake, then what possible justification can there be for not forcing people to procreate less or physically winnowing the population? If a certain number of babies truly is too heavy a burden for the earth to bear, then would not the ruling authorities actually have a moral obligation to forcibly reduce the population? I do not see how a person’s choice matters if humanity truly hangs in the balance.

The Pyszczk Maneuver will never persuade anyone who is not already amenable to its logic. Its core problems are ethical and evidential, but the message of the Pyszczk Maneuver also faces an impossibly steep public relations battle. Hectoring an extremely well-liked celebrity couple for having a baby seems like a fine hill to die upon.

I see no way to argue for a reduction in people without inviting an array of half-sarcastic replies like “which people?” and “you first.” To argue in any respect for “fewer people” is to first plant in my imagination the seed of a person’s existence. That hypothetical person acquires real weight in my mind, and for me to then wipe that person out of existence would be participation in a hate crime against otherness.

“Now,” Pyszczk writes, “as a feminist, I tend to oppose any cultural conversation that involves telling a woman what to do with her body.” Pyszczk then constructs an elaborate rationale for why she feels comfortable telling other women to have fewer children. Such moral contradictions will arise in our wacky hyper-modern world, where people still want the narrative satisfaction of eschatological meaning traditionally provided by religion, but not the burden of having to be traditionally religious in respectable society. So one cobbles together one’s own sources of narrative meaning. When one’s personal vision of Utopia fails to materialize, the next step is to seek the consolations of Apocalypse. Some amount of pricking and poking seems inevitable when you inhabit an epistemological nest of your own making, cobbled together with any contradictory twigs and scraps you could gather. Pyszczk senses two sides of her values coming into conflict and cannot really reconcile them.

People crave justice. They see nature ravaged and tortured under rack and screw and forced to give unreliable testimony, and so where nature cannot speak the truth, people rightly cry out for justice on her behalf. I lament all plundering and exploitation of the earth and its creatures, and I question my preference for ways of living that insulate me from the claims of nature and leave me blind to the goodness and sheer fragility of natural life. I affirm the need to steward and protect ecological resources. But the Pyszczk Maneuver seems obviously counterproductive. I can scarcely imagine a more efficient way of alienating people against the environment than by shaming them for their desire for children, all on the basis of extremely flimsy speculation. And I do not see any way to argue for an ecological mandate to have fewer kids without shaming people who have or want to have lots of kids.

Concerns about ecological justice must be grounded in humility, given the overwhelming complexity of being. “All the efforts of the human mind cannot exhaust the essence of a single fly,” declared Thomas Aquinas over seven centuries ago. The more attention I pay to the small things in my midst, the more voluminous they become and the more they absorb me. The more I look at a thing, the more substantial thingness it seems to possess.

Think about the early days of microscopes. Can you imagine how wonderful it must have been for a man of learning to peer through a microscope for the first time and see the world with a whole new perspective? What a rush of blood to the brain; what intellectual vertigo it must have been. The seventeenth-century poet and mystic Thomas Traherne looked at a common housefly under the glass and what he found was a marvel beyond marvels:

The Creation of Insects affords us a Clear Mirror of Almighty Power, and Infinite Wisdom with a Prospect likewise of Transcendent Goodness. Had but one of those Curious and High Stomached flies, been Created, whose Burnisht, and Resplendent Bodies are like Orient Gold, or Polisht Steel; whose Wings Are So Strong, and Whose Head so Crowned with an Imperial Tuff, which we often see Enthroned upon a Leaf, having a pavement of living Emrauld beneath its feet, their contemplating all the World…the Infinit Workmanship about his Body the Marvellous Consistence of his Lims, the most neat and Exquisit Distinction of his Joynts, the Subtile and Imperceptible Ducture of his Nerves, and Endowments of his Tongue, and Ears, and Eyes, and Nostrils; the stupendious union of his Soul and Body, the Exact and Curious Symmetry of all his Parts, the feeling of his feet and the swiftness of his Wings, the Vivacity of his quick and active Power...

Life overpowers me with plenitude. Perhaps Pyszczk and I simply inhabit mental worlds too radically different to be bridged: while I stroll down to the neighbor’s barn behind my house, she aspires to the rings of Saturn. The small world of a backyard, a neighborhood, a sloping hill, a patch of woodland—to me these are places replete with possibility and mystery. Just yesterday my little world was transformed with snow, and the tree outside my window filled up with cardinals. I spent hours watching dozens of fat red males and dappled gray-brown females bustle and perch and fuss and feed.

I could not say for sure how moving a handful of pebbles from one spot to another might affect the course of a flowing stream; what, then, is there to say to those who would not blush at reducing human life to carbon footprints and doling out blithe judgments on which person’s future should or should not be blotted out? What algorithm or cost-benefit analysis or predictive model can possibly account for the ripples in time that may emanate from a single human life, let alone whole groups of people? What wretched slide into cultural glaciation must the people of Iceland undergo in order to systematically annihilate people with Down Syndrome through abortion? You may bend the direction of the stream to your will; you may change the way the water moves by rearranging the rocks and the sand and the dirt; but you cannot account for the way the stream will change you in return.

#essay

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cynthiadshaw · 4 years

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What’s the Most Important Lesson You’ve Learned Along Your Journey?

Every twist in our story, challenge we face, and obstacle we overcome is an important part of our story. These difficulties make us stronger and wiser and prepare us for what’s ahead. As we grow and succeed we may imagine that soon the challenges will fade away, but in our conversations with business owners, artists, creatives, academics, and others we have learned that the most common experience is that challenges never go away – instead they get more complex as we grow and succeed. Our ability to to thrive therefore depends heavily on our ability to learn from our experiences and so we are asking some of the city’s best and brightest: What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned along your journey?

Aamina Masood | Pastry Chef Entrepreneur

The most important thing I’ve learned on my journey from Computer Engineer to Pastry Chef is that hard work and consistency pay off. Trends come and go but treating someone well never goes out of fashion. I treat all my clients with respect and the quality never falters.

brilliantcakes.com

Johnathan Thrall | Director of operations and Michelle Thrall | Director of Business Development and Marketing

Never stop sowing. God will not bless you with the harvest, but he will provide the seed.

thethrallgroup.com @thethrallgroup @thethrallgroup

Anfeernee Munoz | Designer & Creative Director

Dalia Arriaga

I’ve learned to remain humble, patient, and never try to dampen someone’s success. That is not what Most Hated Clo is about. I’ve learned to stop complaining “why them and not me?” And changed my mentality to “how can I get myself to be that successful like he/she?”

Mosthatedmunoz.com @mosthatedmunoz @mosthatedclo

Alexis Flores | Freelance Videographer/Photographer

Models: @lunarkris @Sheridanlemon

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned so far is that without initiative nothing will happen, you have to be willing to try it even if you know it wont turn out the way you want it to be.

@alexflrs19

Intelligent Comedian | Local Photographer and Video Creator

The most important thing I’ve learned is to not stress about the negativity because it all comes from one’s thought, instead see the beauty to life because at the end of the day photography and film making is all an art, and art can be literally anything. There’s no point in competition but rather admire other people’s creativity.

@intelligent_comedian youtube.com/intelligentcomedian?uid=vtN_59JnxYYGNdT9GSJbkw

Matthew Gatson | Photographer

Patience is key. Everything can’t be rushed so be patient. I have a lot of friends who I see as inspiration and I used to think to myself, “I have to catch up to them somehow”. Doing whatever I can to be as successful as them in such a short time. Nowadays I see them as rivals, my competition, because I know that eventually I’d become as great as them and I know that my time will come when the spotlights on me and when everything that I’ve worked for will come to reality. Once I learned that, it made my life easier and also made me more dedicated to my dreams, Times when I used to think I was falling behind into an entirely different route, I was going down the same as most as slowly catching up without even knowing it. I waited for my turn to become better than I was before and it helped me much more than what I expected.

@shotbymthw

Steve Niedringhaus | Owner | Operator of AB & E Logistics | biker and family man

The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey so far is to ensure that you communicate! It is something that you need to do very well and very often. Developing relationships on a personal and business level is how you survive and flourish in both realms of your life – period. A great relationship is something you have to work for. It’s not an automatic gift given to you. Trust me – My wife and I have had to work very hard on our relationship through our 25 years of marriage. It’s not easy work but the gifts a great relationship provide keep you in the game. It keeps you coming back for more and forever working to make it even better. The key to this is communication. To me, It’s no different in business. I provide a service and like most industries it’s highly competitive. You have to set yourself apart and the best way I’ve found to do that is to build relationships based on great communication. I basically complete the same tasks others do in my industry but I take it a step further. I talk to all levels of personnel at the customer any chance I get. I try to build those relationships from the person loading my trailer to the CEO of the company who happens to walk out while I’m loading. I want to ensure they know my name, my companies name and the service I provide and try to get to know them on a personal level. It’s not always price that brings in clients. It’s how they remember you when the next time for them to call on your industry comes up… You want to be that face and personality they remember!

@stevienied @ab_and_e_logistics @abandelogistics

Harlan Bowling | Designer | developer | photographer and full-time traveler

I think the most important lesson I’ve learned (and am still learning!) in my journey is to be authentic and to open your heart and mind to the experiences of others. No one gains anything by keeping everything to themselves, and the willingness to share experiences, creativity and vulnerability with others offers both of you the chance to learn and grow. Sometimes I can wear my heart on my sleeve a bit too much, but I wouldn’t trade those deep moments I’ve had with people because of it for anything.

@grymttrs @grymttrs grymtt.rs

Alissa Fletcher | model/cosplayer

To go with the flow. Work hard but also remember everything happens for a reason.

bunniecupcakes.com @bunniecupcakes

Sydney Kurtz | Data Analyst | Rise Nation Instructor, & Dallas Fitness Ambassador

Perseverance is absolute key. If you set your mind to it and don’t give up, whatever goal you want can be achieved. There are no great successes without failures.

@sydney.kurtz @dallasfitnessambassadors @texasspiceonlamar @omnidallas

Kerry L. Gipson Jr. | Comedian KG or “Komedian KG™

Addison Improv, Arlington Improv, Hyenas Comedy Clubs, Joke Joint, Gulley’s Comedy Event Center, Dayton Funnybone, Cleveland Improv, Backdoor Comedy Club, The Comedy Theater(Little Rock, AR), HaHa Café, LA Comedy Club, and more… During the start of his career, Komedian KG has networked with many great names of entertainment as well from; Robert Powell III, Talent Da’ Comedian, Finess Mitchell, Ronney Jordan, Jason Russell, Blame The Comic, Lil Duval, Carl Payne From “Martin Lawrence TV show, Christopher “Kid” Reid, Flo Hernandez, Shaun Larkins, Shun Jones, Flex Alexander, Dameon “Mr. Entertainment” Ellis, Kool Bubba Ice, Rodney Perry, Kenny Howell, Quinn Hudson (BET), HA HA Davis, Sydney Castillo, Clint Coley, Dean Lewis (Last Comic Standing), Ryan Davis, Roy Lee Pete(R.I.P), Comedian Michael Shawn (K104 Radio), IBF Boxing Champion Errol Spence Jr. and Dallas Rapper Yella Beezy

During the start of my career on this journey, I’ve learned that standup comedy is a small group of entertainers that has been growing rapidly due to internet and social media. Every day a new stand out talent is discovered. I’ve learned that social media has changed the way standup comedy and how comedy is portrayed to it’s audiences and viewers. As this rapid approach to spotlighting talent via social media is occurring, you must be adaptable with keeping up this change, creative and innovative with your ideas that will allow you to go the distance in your career. Stand-up comedy isn’t like any other career in entertainment, the level of difficulty to rely a story, message, and/or joke from your personal point of view will always cast judgement and opinion from others. Being able to expand your routine will help overcome these challenges as a standup comic. Change is inevitable in the career of entertainment and performing arts and you have to remain humble, stay focus on your goals, learn the business and soak up and filter all advice as you go. Never be afraid to learn and innovate new ideas!. Dallas, Texas is growing with new talent in every genre of entertainment and performing arts, and will someday be one of the world’s premiere go to places for pursuing entertainment as a career in the near future.

@komediankg @komediankg @komediankg @komediankg reverbnation.com/artist/video/15554643 soundcloud.com/komediankg youtube.com/channel/UCrgolqahdIyUYRyP5Ea5NPw komediankg.webs.com

Gigi Davison | Hair Stylist, Makeup Artist & Aerialist

The most important lesson I’ve learned on my journey so far is that I am the creator of my own path; and take advantage of opportunities… they always lead to more.

@gigioligy @beauty_bygigi @mrs.gigid

Wayward Coffee Co. | Mobile Craft Coffee & Community

Jason Arreola

We’d say the most important thing we’ve learned so far, even though this is all new to us and we have a whole lot of work to do ahead, is that you have to just go for it. Each of us has had a dream at some point to start their own coffee business and we had to just take that passion and drive and finally do it. It has all come together in such a cool way and we’re real thankful for it. We’re so stoked about this and we want to make it the most unique, meaningful, genuine thing ever and bring so many other people along for the ride with us.

@waywardcoffeeco

Neil Kenner | Coach of Movement, Mindset, and Holistic Lifestyle

I resigned from my job as the SMU Women’s Assistant Tennis Coach in May of 2018 to embark on what I defined as a “Learning Journey,” so the lessons have been coming in literally nonstop. If I had to pick just one lesson, I would say that the ability to have patience and maintain self-belief throughout the journey has been the biggest. To expand on that, there are a lot of people out there who urgently strive to fill their schedules as quickly as possible. That may be the perfect protocol under certain circumstances or at a particular stage in life, but doing just the opposite has been my recent approach.

When I first started coaching, I said an emphatic YES to everything. My schedule was completely packed with private lessons, groups, tournament coaching, event planning, and anything else a tennis club could offer. I prided myself in taking no days off. After all, I was making pretty good money for a young single guy, developing a solid reputation as a coach, and gaining a crazy amount of experience in very little time. In my five years coaching at T Bar M Racquet Club, I must have experienced the equivalent of 15 years when compared to most. It was nonstop, and everything I did lead to growth.

A decade later, I find myself in a much different position. Rather than viewing a full schedule of lessons as a symbol of success, I now consider it a growth-stunting trap. Time is the ultimate item of value to me now, specifically having control over my own time. Sure, there are compromises that sometimes need to be made, but leaving enough open time and space in my schedule is what has allowed me to make this dream journey a reality. For much of the past year and a half, I chose to use that time to LEARN as much as I could from the resources that I felt were most applicable. Later on, I began shifting my focus more into digesting and then organizing all the new information into a form that made sense to me. Then more time went into applying this stuff into my own practice and combining it with what I’ve learned throughout my career. Just now am I at the point where I am ready to CREATE – which is what I love to do. One of the few things that I love more than creating is being able to SHARE my creations with others as a means to help improve lives, so the ability to begin doing so has been incredibly fulfilling.

Spending lots of my current time in creation mode and now getting a taste of sharing is only the beginning, and none of it would have been possible without PATIENCE. Had I panicked and begun filling my schedule with lessons again, I would most-likely not have had the time and energy required to achieve my bigger goals. So yes, PATIENCE has been my most important takeaway – and unwavering SELF-BELIEF has gone hand in hand with it.

@neilkenner

Chris Mendez | Realtor®️ & Dog lover

@annmariemendezphotography

In my journey, I have been able to learn that everything is possible if you set your mind to it. It may sound like a cliche, however, we are capable to achieve great things in life if we develop our mindset and put it to work. You are the one that can make it happen. Your mind is a dream and goal achieving machine. YOUR DESTINY is dependent on your DECISIONS.

@chrismendez_realtor @chrismendezrealtor LinkedIn: chris-mendez chrismendez.brayreg.com

Chidimma LaQueen Nwosu | Blogger/Influencer

For as long as I can remember I have always been the chubby girl who was shy and lacked confidence. I let people’s opinions of me tell me who I was. I never really knew who I was and this persisted into my adult years. After college a couple years ago, I decided to take on a healthier lifestyle and with that I lost weight. A lot of people think this would be the end all be all and you’re automatically happy, but more often than not, this is not the case. I still struggled a bit with my identity. Sure, my self-esteem went up, but I still was not internally happy and still lacked self-confidence. A little over a year ago, I moved to Dallas from Maryland to attend chiropractic school. Usually when you move to a new area, it is a chance to start over and meet new people. This was very hard for me and immediately felt out of my comfort zone. I retreated to myself and for the first time in my life I felt homesick. After the holidays and a few life changing moments, I decided that I need to get to know myself and really portray how I want the world to see me. Thus, began my selflove / body positive journey. I was terrified in the beginning, but in order to achieve the goal I set out I had realized that with uncomfortability comes strength. After a while I noticed that my vulnerability allowed me to own and embrace everything that makes me, me. Not only that, I also received messages from women saying that I have encouraged them to do the same. Knowing I have helped at least one person, is by far one of the best feelings ever! Society loves to tell women what we should be doing, from an outfit you shouldn’t wear because of your size to what lipstick you shouldn’t use because of your complexion. But when we come together to support and empower one another the sky is the limit. We can be any shape, size, or color and still run the world. In my 26 years of living, I have never felt so empowered and confident. This is not a one and done journey, life is ever changing. I look forward to the changes to come and will continue to share. If I can do it, you can do it too. Accept yourself for who you are first and everything will fall into place. There is so much more beauty in life when you change the narrative into something positive. Lessons I’ve learned along the way is that regardless of what I do, I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. Whoever or whatever is meant for me will always be for me and no one person can take that away from me. I also learned that the tongue has power. Speak to yourself with kind and positive words because what you speak is what you create.

@ChidimmaLaQueen

BRYSON PRICE | Music Producer & Artist

Balance in life is KEY. You see a lot of musicians rise to the top, then fall off the map a couple years later. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. I’m still a long way from achieving my goals, but I’m taking my time and doing things right. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all in! I’m putting forth my BEST effort and giving it all I’ve got, but it’s possible that I’ll never “make it.” Music is my passion, but I feel that the most important thing is my spiritual health, physical health and my family. Slow growth is much more sustainable than overnight success and I’m working hard towards my goals every single day. There’s no shortcuts..I’m making the best use of my time, grinding day in and day out, while making sure that my life is balanced.

BrysonPrice.com youtube.com/channel/UCImrrfbrWlax3REURMR7twQ @bryson.price.35 @BrysonPrice

Bryan Valadez | Visual Artist and Determined Individual

The most important lesson I have learned in my journey so far can be best described with the word perseverance. Throughout my years of painting I have come across personal challenges such as critical self reflection of my abilities, wondering if audiences will react well to my work, or even questioning the probability of being able to make it as a visual artist.

Although in these instances it has always been the act of striving to move forward despite any difficult situation, which has allowed me to grow. If there were doubts about my skills as an artist, I would push myself to become better with practice. If I wondered how people would react to my work, I would suggest to myself to keep working because I am making art to express myself. If fear of not being able to achieve success as visual artist were to arise, I remind myself that I’m devoted to achieve my goals and in fact I am hungry for success. With that in mind could I come to a conclusion and maintain constant progression. A vital lesson not only evident in my journey’s past but also applied to whatever I approach now.

@vala_alla_b @bvaladezart

Cameron Taylor | Visual Leader & Photographer

That it is okay to not be in the same place as everyone else. With access to social media we tend to compare ourselves to our peers and even people we have never met. With things such as age barriers, financial differences and overall different circumstances it’s not fair for anyone no matter your social stature to put yourself against someone else or to bring yourself down cause you may not “be where someone else is in life”. It’s honestly a huge self love thing that I had to learn the hard way when for so long I thought I did love myself and was happy where I wasn’t and to find out I wasn’t in my mid twenties was a huge and rattling wake up call. I have expanded my time to utilizing social media to not just post about my life, granted I do that haha, but to also have conversations with people, make friends online and to unplug every once and awhile. The self love you have for yourself is so huge and I’m still learning each day on this journey called life how to get better and better at it.

@okcamcam longleglifestyle.com

Dr. Ragan Brown | Educator | Author | Self Care Influencer | Travel Specialist, and Academic Coach

Life as a Self Care Influencer began by me posting various positive quotes on my Instagram and Facebook page. Soon it developed in a career that affords me the opportunity to help others go from chaos to calm. Early in life I knew my gift was encouragement relatability and relief. However it took a while to come to the realization that being a light when others see darkness is truly part of my assignment. Many days there are battles and struggles with the idea of am I truly cut out for this journey. There are days when leads and sales opportunities happen and then there are days when you are pulling your hair out. Honestly, I question myself almost everyday. However every no, detour, and under construction. One of the most important lessons of this journey is that it multifaceted, which is a beauty all by itself. As an entrepreneur, you develop strength, that you didn’t know you possessed. Another important lesson on my journey is that it simply is a journey. It’s not a race or a destination. Although we feel that we should go with the crowd, on the entrepreneurship journey you must take “the road less traveled.” roadblock has some sort of lesson attached. Overall faith keeps me focused. Traveling through life as an entrepreneur is multifaceted. There are several layers to maneuvering your business. I wouldn’t say you completely master it, because you are always learning and growing from various situations. This journey has also led to multiple collaborations. From book anthologies to lifestyle photo shoots to commercial advertising and speaking gigs to help empower young women. These past few years I have realized how multifaceted and This entrepreneur journey has helped me to be a risk taker. Often times, I have to take a risk on investments that don’t yield monetary returns. Because of this, I have gained business buddies, and people who are just as passionate about my success as I am about their success. As a risk taker I have also invested in various projects and businesses in an effort to have multiple streams of income aside from that I recently embark on a new journey as a travel agent to further stress all things self-care. Almost every other day, I just want to give up as I continue to hone in on my niche. In the beginning, things were simple because I remained in the academic coaching box. As life became a whirlwind, opportunities were presented which required me to have a business growth spurt. My support system of family and friends remain a fixture for me as they keep me centered and grounded. The Lord has also connected me divinely to like minded individuals to propel me, push my buttons, and hold me accountable. As a business owner, I’m most proud of my growth, versatility and willingness to learn more. Sometimes it appears as the stars aren’t aligning, but when I revisit the core of why I chose an entrepreneur journey. I thank God over and over for choosing me to complete these assignments and bless others.

@drbrownconnection FB: Ragan Brown

Christopher Jenkins |Personal Trainer and Nutritionist at Grizzly Fitness and Herbalife nutrition

I use my journey to get through everything in life. The most important lessons I’ve learned in my journey is to first have faith and trust God; Even when I couldn’t see or understand. Proverbs 3: 5-6 states, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” I’ve learned that it takes motivation and dedication to achieve your goals. Philippians 4:13 states, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” This is my motto because without God giving me the strength, this weight loss would of been impossible. It took much encouragement from my Pastor Calvin Wortham, Patrick Jefferson, my entire family and church family, and my brother and coach Alsce Crocker.

@gohustlapeewee

@GoHustlapeewee Facebook: Christopher Alonzo Jenkins Snapchat: peewizzle24

Myda Chapa | DFW realtor with Coldwell Banker Apex

One thing I have learned is to always keep an open mind and just go for it!

@mydachapa

Makya Love | Computer Science Engineer & Aspiring Model

@drivenimage

The most important lesson I have learned as a young model is that my journey is unique and far different from other aspiring models. It’s so easy to get distracted by others’ journey and their success. In the beginning of my modeling journey I used to dwell on the progress of other models around me, instead of focusing on my own progress. Later down the line, I learned quickly that the more I compared my journey to others, the more distracted I was from fulfilling my own journey 100%. So, keeping my eyes steady and ahead on my individual career path has been the most important lesson learned thus far.

@especiallymakya @especiallymakya youtube.com/channel/UCvgzPmiqKygMMyigT_wLv5g

Jacky Alberto | Hairstylist & Online Boutique Owner

Alex Gonzalez

The biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is to stop fearing and overthinking, just do it. For the longest time I’ve had several ideas, goals, and dreams but I found myself fearing the “what if it doesn’t work out” and being very self critical with my own work and ideas that I allowed that to become paralyzing in my journey which just kept me stagnant. This year I’ve learned to just take a leap of faith and trust God. I believe he places these thoughts, ideas, dreams, and passions in our hearts for a reason. If we don’t go for it then the years will just pass us by and we are left with regret of things we wished we would’ve went for. I’ve gotten a taste of what “shooting your shot” feels like with some of my goals and dreams and I’ve built momentum from that, it’s definitely been one of the best decisions ever!

fash-cultureboutique.com @fash.culture

Madeline Reid | Wedding and Lifestyle Photographer

The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey of capturing life moments, is that every single person has a different story and a different way of expressing their story! The best way to capture people’s individual moments in the way that highlights their story best is to actually get to know your clients. Ask them about their life, what they do, where they work, what are their interests? what keeps them going? When you know someone for who they are rather than “just another client”, you are able to capture their story in a whole new way, and the photos end up being so much better!

Madelineanikkaphotography.com @madelineanikkaphotography

Ashton Danora | Capturing Purpose Through Lens

This year has been really challenging. Throughout this week, I really had to sit down and think about what I learned about myself through the journey of 2019. What stood out the most is learning how to be present. I am always planning for the future and I tend to forget about, for the lack of a better word, the “now”. I used to be so focused on tomorrow’s agenda, or a week from now…and I would miss out on the blessings and opportunities of the present. As this year has flown by, the last three months of 2019 will be dedicated to seizing the moments that come to me.

@_ashton.danora

Cynthea Thomas | Entrepreneur & Jewelry Designer

Olivia Friesen with Copper Curls Photography

A lesson I have learned is to never compare myself to others. By doing this I don’t progress to where I want to be and it’s not a great place to be in. I am unique in my own way and I want to spread joy and love through what I create during my journey.

royalmadnessdesign.com @royalmadnessdesign @royalmadnessdesign @Cyntheyeahh

RJ Monae | Fitness Coach

The most important lesson I’ve learned so far is, “”You have to change to grow and to grow you have to change”. I think we all expect change throughout our lives. The mistake many make is that we don’t change personally. We hope to be the same in every area of our lives and not realizing that a different version of “”YOU”” is required. The key to change is “”YOU””. I learned that about seven years ago and begin to put pieces of my life back together.

I had to learn things don’t always happen the way we want them to. We tend to give up then accept things as they are. The action of not accepting leads to depression, weight gain, health issues, and stress levels. Don’t be hard on yourself; embrace every mistake, failure, disappointment, and heartache. I have been in health and fitness for about seven years. I officially started fitness coaching about four years ago to coach people through the process of change and becoming the best version of themselves. Many already know what to do; they need someone to guide and educate them to make the best choices for their lifestyle needs.

I have been a mentor and coach for 14 years. I have dedicated my life to help others become the person they’ve always wanted to be. My health, fitness, and lifestyle have taught me no matter what area or stage you are in your life, change is required. In the past seven years, I have worked to claim my independence back. Now, I want to help others to reclaim theirs through health and fitness because it’s never too late. “Don’t be afraid to change, be afraid to STAY the same”.

@rjmonae @rj.monae @rjmonae RJMONAE.COM

The post What’s the Most Important Lesson You’ve Learned Along Your Journey? appeared first on Voyage Dallas Magazine | Dallas City Guide.

source http://voyagedallas.com/2019/12/19/whats-important-lesson-youve-learned-along-journey/

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aandresssolares-blog · 6 years

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Jackie Robinson’s Life Advice

Jackie Robinson was always a problem. Given his circumstances, he kind of had to be. Robinson was the first black MLB player, an important figure in the Civil Rights movement, was in the Army, and a business executive. He did amazing things with the life he had and made an impact on America. But what were his thoughts that were driving his actions? What were his philosophies on life and how did he view everything? Well, for one to analyze another’s life one must look at their body of work and the legacy that they left behind. With a painter one can view their paintings to get an idea of how he thought, or a musician’s music to get an idea of what’s in their head. Jackie Robinson was not a conventional artist, however. One can’t just point out one of his art pieces and analyze it. Robinson’s art was in the game of baseball and in the life he led, his actions and decisions leaving a legacy and story to be told.

There’s one scene of Jacky Robinson that I think defines him and shows the type of person that he was throughout his life. It’s the look of him going up to bat, in front of a crowd that mostly despises him, booing, yelling racial slurs, and yet still having the grace and composure to hit a baseball. Hitting a baseball is hard, let’s not kid ourselves. I could barely hit a baseball if you pitched it to me in my backyard, let alone in the pros in front of thousands of people who want to see you fail. But that is the person he was: graceful under pressure. That’s the type of person he needed to be in order to break the barriers that he did. Had he messed up just once, had a scandal started a fight, anything, he would have been cast aside as just another example of why they were right to separate blacks and whites. He was truly held to a different, higher standard and prided himself on living up to it not because he wanted to impress people, but to force people to take him and the African American race seriously. Time and time again up until he died, he had to keep proving everybody wrong and that he belonged. That in itself is an extremely admirable feat beyond the fact that he batted over .300 and was a skillfull player. The amount of composure and quality of character that was required of him and successfully carried out is extremely cool. Being the first isn’t easy. In a sense, he had to be flawless back then so that black athletes like Kobe Bryant can get away with messing up today. Kobe was accused of sexual assault, and still people admire him and consider him one of the greatest athletes of all time. Had Jackie done anything like that, his whole legacy would have been diminished and he would not have been nearly as influential. That is something that I feel I will never fully understand or feel as a white man. I will never have to worry about my actions as Robinson did, because I know that as a white man I can get away with more than he ever could in his era. “I cannot salute the flag; I know that I am a black man in a white world. In 1972, in 1947, at my birth in 1919, I know that I never had it made.” That sums up his struggle pretty well.

Robinson once said “I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.” That trait is something that I admire and strive towards having. Not caring what people think, but knowing at the end of the day they will see what I’ve accomplished and that they must have a certain level of respect towards me. When Robinson went out on that field, he shut everybody up because at the end of the day, a homerun is a homerun regardless of your color. Then again, I have not accomplished anything remotely close to what Jackie Robinson has accomplished. I hope that that will change by the time I die and people can say I made an impact on the world. As Jackie says “A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” I completely agree with this statement. If someone were to live their life without living up to their potential and not touching anybody, then their life really did not have much significance in my opinion. It seems evident to me that Jackie wanted to have a meaningful life beyond baseball. He saw that at the end of the day, if he was only good in the sport then his impact will go no further than the stat sheet. That’s why his struggle continued even after retiring and he kept on fighting for what he believed in. He worked with Martin Luther King to further advance Civil Rights and was the first black vice president of a major American corporation. “The game of baseball is great, but the greatest thing is what you do after your career is over. " I believe that’s something that I, or anybody can learn from him. In life, your fight is never over. Just because you accomplished something doesn’t mean that you should hang up your hat and give up pushing forward. In my case, I hope that I can stay innovative and accomplishing things even into my last years. Because truly, I believe that resigning your life and to stop being interesting is what being “old” really is. One can be physically old, but if they still live an active life and seek new experiences and personal growth, then they are mentally young in my eyes. “ Life is not a spectator sport. If you're going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion you're wasting your life.”

Robinson was also as uncompromising a person as they come. He was set out to carve his own path in life and was completely unwilling to let anybody get in the way. When he was in the Army, he was arrested for refusing to not move to the back of the bus, and eventually had to be honorably discharged from the armed forces. Yes, he pulled a Rosa Parks before Rosa Parks and not many people know about it. It’s that type of rigid stubbornness that really allowed him to accomplish everything he did. He could have easily given up in trying to enter MLB after the first couple of tries and accepted that he could never do it. In fact, that is probably what most people would have done in his situation given how much pressure he was under. I know I’m guilty of giving up on things sometimes when they get hard. In reality, Jackie could have most likely accomplished anything simply because he put his heart and soul into everything he did. In college, he played and excelled in four varsity sports. He could have played anything professionally but I believe he chose baseball because it was segregated and he knew he had the possibility of making a bigger impact on society there. That’s the type of potential I see in myself and in everyone else. I truly believe everyone can be a Jackie Robinson; everyone can be great. We just need to awaken that inside of ourselves and put it into real actions in the world.

During one of the off-seasons, Robinson was asked if he thought the Yankees were prejudiced towards black people. His answer: a blatant “Yes. There isn’t a single negro on the team… and very few in the entire farm system”. This is just one example of how Robinson was an extremely outspoken person. Many would argue at the time that he was in no position to speak his mind and that he should shut up and be grateful that he’s even playing. Not so different from Trump’s remarks telling athletes to “shut up and dribble a basketball”. This outspokenness is another important quality that I admire in Robinson. I have always been one to speak my mind, whether it be something that people want to hear or not. In my experience, stating the truth or what you are thinking will most likely lead to a better outcome than lying or staying quiet most of the time, even though the immediate effects may be negative. For example, at a party the other day I told my friend that she had bad breath. While she was offended and embarrassed at first, she went and fixed her breath and later thanked me for being honest. In Robinson’s case, he would speak his mind and face immediate backlash some of the time. A black man could not simply get away with insinuating that the Yankees were racist at that time. But over time, his words had an effect because they were real and honest. That is the kind of life I feel we all should live, but we sometimes lack the bravery to do so.

In conclusion, Jackie Robinson was neither a perfect person nor the absolute model to which one should look up to for how to live. But he is just one example of many great individuals who were able accomplish things and give meaning to their lives. Studying these kinds of people is never a bad idea because they can either give you good advice on how to live, or point out their mistakes and show you how to avoid them. At the end of the day, it’s all guidance that can point us in the right direction and help us be better human beings.

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poeticshiine · 7 years

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Student Shadow Experience

“The best teacher is one who NEVER forgets what it is like to be a student. The best administrator is one who NEVER forgets what it is like to be a teacher”

-Neila A. Conners

As an educator who plans to eventually transition into an administrative position, I’ve always wondered how long it took for administrators or other school building professionals outside of the classroom to start losing their true understanding of the kind of work and effort it takes to be a classroom teacher. I say this because I often think about the constant pile up of work that I am required to complete as a teacher that seems unmanageable and overwhelming, yet my superiors constantly add to. I tell myself daily that I will be different in the leadership I will provide. In the same regards, I ponder the time in between our schooling and adulting when we lose our collection of memories other than the fond ones that we talk about when we catch up with old friends. The memories laden with exhaustion, anxiety, and uncertainty.

As a requirement of Columbia’s Teacher’s College Summer Principals Program, I shadowed a student for an entire day and gained three pieces of knowledge to take back to the classroom. Although I initially saw this assignment as unavailing and was reluctant to complete it, I was able to reflect on my impact on the enjoyment of learning and realistic requirements I set out for my students. I realize that I am in charge of casting the shadow. In other words, I am in charge of the trajectory of my classroom’s enjoyment that is either nonexistent or spread throughout my classroom.

My schedule was as followed:

7:30am-7:45am-Breakfast

7:45am-8:00am-Transition to homeroom

8:00am-8:20am-Community Gathering

8:20am-9:30am-Science

9:30am-10:40am-ELA

10:40am-11:50am-Math

11:50am-12:30pm-Social Studies

12:30pm-1:00pm-Lunch

1:00pm-1:15pm-Recess

1:15pm-1:45pm-Social Studies Cont.

1:45pm-2:20pm-Specials: Art

2:20pm-2:30pm-Dismissal

A warm smile makes up for cold breakfast.

The first piece of knowledge I learned while shadowing a fourth grade student was that children and adults are emotional creatures and yearn relationships that are authentic and meaningful. When I sat in the cafeteria eating my bowl of soggy frosted flakes, I observed a difference in students’ actions and behaviors who were greeted by the teachers on their duty posts versus the students who went through the cafeteria door that lacked a warm body. The students who were met at the door with a smile were less likely to be reprimanded in the breakfast line and seemed more satisfied sitting down and eating their breakfast while some of the other students seemed irritable and not excited to be at school. Imagine walking through a building and the first social encounter you had was with someone yelling at you for sitting at the wrong table or for talking too loud. It’s uncertain the kind of situations our students escape from each day when they leave their homes. The least we can do is ensure that each and every student is greeted as soon as they enter the school.

When I made it to class, the teacher asked another student and me to help put chairs in a circle for our community meeting. It was refreshing to see so many students willing to share what they would do in specific situations and how they planned on exemplifying responsibility, the core trait for this month. After playing a quick name game, we were told to gather our things and get ready to rotate to our first core class. I was quickly able to see that each teacher had different procedures set in place to start their class; they all expected silence. Mainly copying down vocabulary words, answering bellringer questions that relate to the lessons they’ve learned previously. We wrote a lot.

Respect is a two way street and shouldn’t be treated as a one way until a certain age.

Science started off engaging, it started with a brainpop video that excited students and provided us a platform to discuss the topic of electricity and the components of a battery. The teacher told us that we would have an opportunity to try to make a light bulb light up by using conductors and a battery. We were allowed to work with a group that we selected which made students even more excited. About 12 minutes into group work, another group began to bicker about who was going to connect the wire to the light bulb. I observed the teacher irritably approach the students, and simply start to threaten the students with losing class dojo points or their recess. When a child began to explain the issue, the teacher cut him off. As a result, the student pushed his kit away from him and refused to work.

Watching the student being silenced and the effect of him becoming unengaged and upset, I thought about how I would feel it someone silenced me from sharing my perspective, my insight, or my opinion. We, as educators, value time but sometimes forget to exude patience. We value peace and collaboration, but we fail to think allow our students to think through and explore student-created solutions. We demand respect from our students, and strip them of theirs when it’s convenient. We need to make sure that every small instance where a character education lesson is available, we take advantage. We cannot be tricked into believing that silence is the issue being solved. We must teach our students ways to maneuver through small disagreements, crises, and adversity they will face. We cannot silence our students. Instead we must ensure that we show, teach, and expect respect from everyone.

If you’re bored teaching it, duh they’re bored learning it.

Lunch seems a lot further when you’re sitting down listening. I thought about food numerous times, and how when I go to different training I’m always snacking which seemed to help me focus and move my jaws which stops me from talking, haha! In ELA, we read a story popcorning different students without talking otherwise. When we were done, we were told to answer questions independently. I was so bored. In math, we also completed worksheets after the teacher explained the partial-product method to solve. He didn’t ask any of us to try it or come to the board and show that we understood. He walked around and individually corrected students who seemed like all missed a step. I was bored, and he seemed bored and irritable reteaching students what he just wrote on the board. Students talked and waited until he came around to get help. In social studies, we copied notes about a general of war and filled in a graphic organizer about the declaration of independence. I was starving and my middle finger had an indent from my pencil that I was so sick of holding. Silent work consumed my last three classes and I felt like going back into my adult role and walking out, slowly galloping down a hallway giving my attention to anything but writing. I wanted to talk, scream, jump, color, eat, anything but sit!

When it was time to go to lunch, I felt a blanket of joy wrap me, but it was short-lived because my classmates were noisy going into the cafeteria, so we were required to eat silently. I never realized how much I wanted to feel my esophagus vibrate! The sun was so warm and inviting. Recess was too short; I felt like it only lasted 5 minutes, no forreal 5 minutes! We went back inside, grudgingly and packed up for specials. We walked silently to the art classroom where again, we had to silently try to copy a picture off the board. I thought about my bed and how I wanted to put my head down or how I wanted to yell any random word that came to my mind. When it was time to go home, I was exhausted from silence and I thought about my bed and how I wished I did my homework in class!

This experience was valuable because I realized that giving students the opportunity to talk, laugh, and move enhances the quality of learning, the quality of enjoyment which is what will encourage our students to love learning and seek more knowledge. I was reminded how painful it was to sit and be in silence, and what unrealistic expectations we set for our students daily. Expectations that we as adults have a hard time fulfilling. As I begin to lesson plan for next week, I actively think about moments where my students can engage in meaningful conversations and move bodies and their brains.

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