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#astarion imagines
cammys-imagines24 · 7 months
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°•Astarion Being Touch Starved•°
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The dastardly rogue would scarcely ever admit it- not in a thousand years.
But the sensation of your touch sends a thrill through his heart so loud, so potent, that sometimes he swears it still beats.
Beats only for you.
Sure by the light of day Astarion has a devil may care attitude and more sass than anyone really ought to.
And though you've both voiced your sincere affections to each other, he is never shy to continue with his playful flirtations towards you.
But that does not mean he views your relationship as a trifle. As something to play at.
You are the first person he's cared for in hundreds of years. The first he's opened himself up to. The first to show him that he can be free.
And with that long sought after freedom he wishes to spend it with you. For as long as you'll allow him the gift of your presence.
But though Astarion is unshackled now, the hauntings of Cazador never leave his mind. Not entirely.
On more times than he'd like to acknowledge, he has awoken from horrid nightmares of his past enslavement.
Cursing himself for even bothering to close his eyes in the first place considering he doesn't actually need to sleep.
But then there you are, right beside him.
Warm and vulnerable. Slumbering soundly and oh, gods, does he love your warmth.
The chilled Vampire would bathe in the heated feel of your skin if he could and often while you're tucked in the crook of his arm, dreaming away, he takes small liberties.
Letting just how starved he is of gentleness be shown.
Brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, kissing the column of your throat, breathing in your scent.
Admiring your beauty. Committing each freckle, scar and feature to memory.
Dining on the feel of your form close to his and relishing in the company of one who truly, faithfully loves him. Just as he is.
So reverential of your body. Savoring the perfume of your blood, the thump of your heartbeat. Your every breath a hymn to his ears.
Of course you know how starved Astarion is. You can read him like a book.
But his yearning for tenderness is an unspoken truth between you two.
So you attend to it in your own subtle way.
Holding hands with him while around camp. Sitting next to him beside the fire. Your thighs touching. Placing your hand between his shoulder blades while walking.
Your gaze never straying from his for too long. Your medicinal touch the one to mend his wounds after a rough fight.
He thinks of you as a goddess. Your warmth a healing balm and he thanks his lucky stars everyday he met you.
The feel of you beside him is enough to make him enjoy living again.
Astarion's love for you eternal and ever growing.
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multific · 5 months
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A Thousand Years
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Astarion x Reader
Summary: Astarion tells a story of love.
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"Tell me about your wife." said the man sitting in front of Astarion, the room was quiet around them, only the crackling of the fire could be heard.
Upon hearing the word, wife, Astarion's features softened. 
"It might be a long one."
"I want to hear it." insisted the man as he leaned back in his chair, waiting for Astarion to start.
Astarion smiled, his eyes filled with love as he began.
"My wife... My beloved Y/N. She saved me you know, in more ways than one. She not only helped me kill the man who caused me so much pain and suffering, but she saved me from myself.
My beloved was a strong woman, brave and incredibly beautiful. She was a kind soul and yet, she could kill a thousand men without taking a break.
She loved songs and loved to dance. Although that might be because I was the one dancing with her. She often said she didn't wish to dance with anyone else but me.
She enjoyed sweets. But only the ones I have given her.
And even if I told her not, she kept on eating them.
It has been so long yet, I will never forget her laugh. She became my world. You know, it wasn't even intentional, I fell in love by accident. I was only meant to seduce her so she would help me kill Cazador. And yet I found myself in love.
But make no mistake, I never regretted the feelings I have. Not once. Falling in love with her was so easy.
I am quite privileged to be able to tell that she was my wife.
My... scars on my back, she cried when she first saw them. She hugged me and told me how sorry she was for I had to endure such pain. She kissed me and cried at the same time. I was so confused by it, I didn't know what to do.
But then, not long after, I asked her to marry me." Astarion looked at the gold band on his finger.
"I never believed in marriage, I thought it was silly for people to bind themselves to one another, and the symbol of it all... a simple ring. I laughed at the idea until I met the person I never wanted to let go of again. Suddenly I wanted nothing more but to have her bonded to me and for me to be bonded to her. I looked and searched for the perfect rings. Matching ones, but hers had a simple stone in the middle. A stone which was made of our blood. The perfect diamond, mixed with my and her blood. And then, we were married. Not like the words of others mattered to me, I would have been happy just to have her in my life, but to have her as my wife... it meant everything. 
I will not bore you of the events directly after the wedding, leave it up for your imagination I suppose, but I can assure you, she was the first woman who could have me at her feet with a simple look.
And she always looked at me with so much love and care. She was always so gentle and lovely.
When people say love burns like fire, they lie, my love for her burns like lava, much like the core of the Earth. I was ready to destroy everything and everyone who would dare get between us. If I had to, I would have burnt down villages for her, for she was mine.
And not long after, she gave me the greatest gift. 
A gift so precious.
I will never forget the look on her face when she told me, pure happiness.
She was with child.
Something I never even thought would be possible for me and yet there she was, getting more and more round with my child, with my son. Our son.
She was the sun for me. I have lived a long life in darkness and pain, and she made it all go away with a simple simple. I had a life of happiness thanks to her." Astarion leaned back in his chair once more when the noises from the kitchen stopped.
"STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M DEAD!"
"I have never used the word 'dead', My Love." Astarion turned to look at you as you exited the kitchen.
"But you made it sound like I am." you pouted as Astarion looked at the ring on your finger, he smiled as you placed the food on the table. "Don't listen to him, Love, he is but an old romantic." you said as you sat down.
"I am very much aware, Mother. I just like to listen to him talk about you." admitted your son as he smiled at the two of you. Now a grown man, yet all you could see was him as a little boy running around the house, hair silver like his father's but eyes the same as yours.
"That's because I love your mother very much."
"I love you too." you replied as you all finally began to eat.
You two loved each other for a thousand years, and you will continue to love for another thousand to come.
Your son could only hope to find such love.
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littlejuicebox · 5 months
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Astarion talks in his sleep.
Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader/Tav (Shadowheart is our lovely supporting role though.) Summary/Setting: 6 months post BG3, "good/spawn" Astarion ending, all fluff Rating/Warnings: PG / Very mild if any game spoilers but nothing related to major content or scenes Word Count: 900+ Notes: Inspired by this post here!
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Astarion talks in his sleep. It’s something you’ve never mentioned to him, because it’s mostly when he’s having a nightmare about Cazador or some other horrid trauma from his past. You'd quickly determined it not worth bringing up, for fear of embarrassing him. Plus, if you were being honest, part of you found it rather endearing... especially the lighter drabble that would escape his lips. Delighted giggles, little purrs... it could be overwhelmingly adorable, on occasion.
In fact, the first time you ever heard him say he loved you was in his sleep. Then you'd waited weeks… anxiously, impatiently, unbearably for the revelation to come out while he was awake, under his own terms.
But tonight, the talking and tossing isn't cute. The vampire writhing in bed disturbs you, and your eyes flutter open, catching the smallest glimpse of daylight between the thick, tightly drawn curtains and shuttered windows of your bedchamber. You'd just fallen asleep, and you'd be lying if you said you weren't the slightest bit annoyed.
You idly try to figure out the date. Adjusting your schedule to the night life was… difficult; you often lost track of dates nowadays. But somehow you manage to remember that it's been nearly six months since you all saved Baldur's Gate; six months since Astarion had been returned to a creature of the shadows. Six months you've been in the house provided by the city as you two adjust to whatever normalcy you are able to conjure up and figure out your next steps. You were a strong proponent for the Underdark; Astarion was not quite sold.
At first you think the silver-haired elf's tossing and turning is a night terror… it’s been nearly two weeks since the last one. He’s overdue. You ready yourself to pop out of bed and grab your calming herbs to steep a quick sleeping draught. But then you hear him, soft and garbled, laced with thick strings of sleep.
“Will you marry me?”
You turn to stare stupidly at the elf, eyes piercing through the blackness of your room; his face is obscured, you cannot tell if he’s awake. “…what did you say?”
Silence. A long, unbearable stretch of silence where your heart is pounding into your throat, practically rattling around your chest cavity at the sudden shock. And then he’s snoring again, and you’re left with your brow furrowed and robe half pulled onto your shoulder. Well, so much for your sleep.
You meander down the hall to the kitchen, where Shadowheart has several jars and plants strewn across the table. She’s practically taken over the kitchen since Gale left, not that you particularly mind, since she’s also taken over the cooking.
“Aren’t you supposed to be asleep right now?” She asks, spotting you out of the corner of her eye, not lifting her focus from the mortar and pestle in her hand.
“You won’t believe what Astarion just said in his sleep.” You murmur in dazed response, walking over to the cabinets and rummaging through the contents. You grab an old kettle and fill it with water, turning to look at the cleric.
“Gods, what was it? I’m quite thankful to be out of the camp... his night terrors woke all of us up at one point or another. It's no wonder you’re struggling with the schedule adjustment.”
“He said, ‘Will you marry me?’” You respond, almost giggling at how silly that sounds in retrospect, as you place the kettle on the stove.
Shadowheart pauses. One, two, three beats of silence. “Shit… well, I guess the cat is out of the bag now.” She murmurs with a shrug, before returning to grinding her herbs.
“Wh-what?!”
“Oh, come off, don’t be daft! You had to expect it would be coming sooner or later. Gods, your love is almost sickening… it was sickening, having to hear it all the time... once again, so thankful for the separation of these walls.”
You are frozen, your hand still holding onto the kettle as you appraise your friend. Shadowheart is right. You knew a proposal would come sooner or later… you just figured it would be much later. Astarion was still struggling; more often than not you woke to him in tears or in the throes of a sleeping fit. Countless calming elixirs and teas had been drawn up by you and Shadowheart in the last six months. Truly, you hadn’t thought he was thinking that deeply about it... you hadn't been, if at all. Gods, you two still didn't even know where you were headed after leaving this city-supplied house... the lease was up in a few weeks' time.
“I guess… well, I suppose I didn’t think he was ready.” You sigh, lighting the stove and sitting across the table, watching the cleric as she works.
“Oh, trust me, he’s ready. And he's certain. Perhaps not about anything else... but definitely about this. He's been writing to Gale for weeks trying to source a particular ring." Shadowheart responds, now pouring the contents of her grinder into pouches. "Just promise you'll act like it's a surprise when the time comes... he's been talking about it for a while. He's put a lot of thought into things."
"When will it be?"
Shadowheart laughs, the edges of her eyes crinkling as she flicks her gaze toward the ceiling. She’s now cinching the sachets and sorting them all into a nearby basket. "Now that I'm not telling you. I've already given away too much."
You try for a few more minutes to pry the information from your friend, but she remains tight-lipped. You even threaten her with detect thoughts, though you both know you'd never go through with it. Finally, a whistle from the kettle beckons you back to the stovetop, and the conversation is halted as you ready your tea and aim to go back to bed. You might not know when your love is going to pop the question, but you do know that when the time comes, your answer will be a resounding yes.
Click here for Part 2
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lavender-romancer · 1 month
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Starving
Astarion x (Durge) Reader
CW: angst, fluff, sexual tones
He needed you. But in his dark pit of starvation he feared he pushed you away past the point of return.
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*°*°•.˜”*°•.˜”*°•.˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”°*
You didn't seek love in Astarion no matter how much you wanted it. What would affection and adoration do for him when what he really needed was a friend, a confidante. Someone he would never think was using him. After so many years of abuse that violated his very understanding of intimacy and consent, you wouldn't dream of overstepping any boundary in existence. Trying to talk him off a metaphorical ledge of ostracism was more important than physical urges. He didn't need to feel alone or terrified someone would hurt him again. Whilst Astarion could easily protect himself, you decided that when he wasn't hiding in the shadows you would protect him from any enemy he came across.
After saving Faerûn the two of you had decided to live together, much to Astarions confusion, you wanted to stay close to him. Offer up your blood freely to him and create somewhere that felt safe for him. He was still plagued with nightmares, but you began reading deeper into alchemy to try and help him through his trances.
He never understood why you were so supportive of him. 200 years and he never met anyone so genuinely dedicated without expecting much in return. All you asked was that he wouldn't run away if they had an argument and that he wouldn't feed on any other people. It was simple and there was a deep rooted respect between the both of you no matter how much you flirted with one another, there was a boundary. It had never been crossed, he had never been touched without giving his consent, just as Astarion would never touch you or bite you without consent.
Why you had decided to help and live with him after everything that happened was beyond him. Why not Shadowheart? Or maybe Halsin? Even Gale would- Astarion had to stop himself in thought as he remembered how utterly boring he found Gale. He was much better company, even with a very slight fondness for the wizard, Gale was hardly a casual conversationalist. Mostly resorting to threats about hurling a fireball at someone or casually reminding everyone he was a walking bomb. No, Astarion was more fun. Maybe that was why you liked being around him? But he had become so comfortable with you, he found it so easy to talk about his past when the two of you would sit by the fire in your respective arm chairs and read.
Those moments in front of the crackling logs were monumentally special to him, he had no idea how to express his gratitude
You expected so little, asked for much less and respected him. Whenever he would make a mistake or break something he would immediately start profusely apologising, still mentally conditioned to expect a physical punishment regardless of remorse. But all you did was ask for his help to clean up the mess and you both moved on, you were two barely functioning adults but seemed to help one another. You still remembered little from your past, your childhood or anything in between but helping Astarion gave you a purpose that mattered. It was hard to focus on your own shortcomings when you had a whiny (bitchy) vampire to live with and help. But it worked. The two of you were trying to be normal and doubted that you could on your own.
Whilst the two of you had your own demons you were in a pact of some sorts, neither of you wanted to leave the other to deal with those demons alone. Your other companions were constantly confused by whatever your relationship was. Assuming it was romantic and sexual but, being even more confused upon finding out it wasn't. There was always a feeling something would happen between the two of you, but neither you, nor Astarion would admit it. Both of you too scared that you would lose the other forever if anything romantic happened.
“What wine would you like?” You asked, walking into the front room holding two bottles of red. Astarion was sitting in his armchair illuminated by the fire. The orange hue danced around the shadows of his face and it made you want to take him in your arms and never let go.
“Whatever is older, darling. Things do rather improve with age you know.” Astarion replied with a slight smirk and you rolled your eyes.
He couldn't take his eyes off you as you left, the way you leant against the doorway showed the curve of your stomach and hips. Astarion had to snap his brain out of it as he realised he was staring at the curve of your breasts as you turned to leave. Why was he so unbearably horny today? He supposed it was the night that he usually fed on you. Maybe his bloodlust created a different kind of lust all together? He had been admiring you like this for too long now, it couldn't be bloodlust that made his cock twitch and the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Sparing quick looks as you made a confused face when you were reading and got to a word you struggled with, he loved when you would ask for help so openly and without shame . It was something he desperately envied about your character. Your nose would sometimes scrunch up when he would tell you how to pronounce the word because apparently it was “stupid to have silent letters”. But recently, especially when he had been feeding on you, he couldn't stop wanting to touch you. He wanted to pull you close and never let you go, fuck you for hours and never leave your side.
“I made something for you. Well. Decanted I suppose.” You walked back into the front room with two goblets of wine and a vial of something tucked under your arm.
“What's that?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. After setting the goblets down you handed the vial to him. He already knew what it was before looking more closely, he could smell it. Your beautiful sweet blood.
“For your convenience.” You smiled down at Astarion but he didn't look best pleased. You thought this might be easier, at least for you. Everytime he fed on you all you wanted was to touch him, get some kind of friction because to your shame it made you so ridiculously aroused.
“When did you…” his voice trailed off and your palms began to sweat.
“Do you not like the idea?” You asked sheepishly, ready to snatch the vial back.
“Well, darling, the feeding process is a nice experience and it…” he was trying to find any words to retain the physical closeness you had whilst feeding. “Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you last time it happened?”
“What makes you ask that?” You sat down in the armchair adjacent to his.
“I…” He felt if he opened up that things would never be the same. So it was easier to close everything off again. “If you would like to change things I can go back to stalking other pretty things in the night.” He narrowed his eyes.
“Sometimes you're impossible. This is more convenient for when I'm not here or when I-”
“When you eventually leave, you mean.” The words crawled out of his mouth with such malice.
“I did not say that, Astarion. Stop acting like a child and communicate!” You yelled back as the heat rose into your face and your eyes began to prick.
“Oh shall I get on my knees and pray to the saint that has allowed me to exist with her blood? There are plenty of places I can get it if you won't offer up your neck for free!” He fired back, getting just as riled up.
“I'm freely giving you my fucking blood! I'm still giving it to you. What difference does it make? I try so hard. So fucking hard to make you feel secure and understood but you react to everything like a child!” You stood up and walked a few paces towards the fire with your back to him.
“I didn't realise I was such an inconvenience in your pretty little head.” Astarion almost laughed, a petty attempt to get a rise out of you when he was quickly running out of options to keep you close to him. You stayed quiet for a moment, one hand on your stomach, the other leaning on the mantle above the fire as if you were bracing yourself for the pain to follow.
“I just want the best for you. For our friendship and I…” your voice broke as you choked down the urge to sob.
“Yes, our precious friendship.” He sounded so vindictive that you wondered if he really cared about you at all.
“Do you not want it? Our friendship?” Your voice was so small and defeated.
“Oh, making me the bastard in this situation is just pathetic. After two hundred years of pure shit where I was always in the wrong and punished for it I don't want to hear it anymore!” He roared back at you. When he stood up you actually flinched, a fleeting thought crossed your mind that this was when he would ignore every warning and just drink you dry.
“I-” You tried to speak but you couldn't. All you wanted was to cry, just let it all out because the emotions were too much for you to carry anymore. The carnal desire you felt for him, the deep and earnest care you felt and the sense of responsibility for his well being. It always seemed that you were in control when really he held all the cards.
“Fucking hells.” Astarion muttered angrily before storming upstairs. You could finally sit back in your chair and cry.
Staring into the flames that usually brought you so much comfort but now, they just made you yearn for a life that was never lived. So long ago he said you were the only person he had ever truly cared about, that he would never hurt you and never leave your side. Those longing looks you'd steal when he'd laugh or the way you played into his flirting from the first day you met him. To this day you remembered nothing before the nautiloid, but, you knew Astarion. You knew he'd be there when you came home and would listen to your anxieties. He had always been in your life as far as you were concerned. So why had everything changed over something so ridiculous as the way you gave him your blood?
You pulled your knees up to your chest and sobbed, he wouldn't be there when you woke up and you knew it was all over. He's gone now, he's running away from your grasp and you'll never get him back no matter what you want from him- the voices in your head told you. You hit your forehead repeatedly trying to get them to shut up but they wouldn't subside. Why did you ever think he loved you? That he needed you for more than a pretty little snack? You wait around hoping he'll take more fucking interest in you when he wants nothing more than your beautiful blood. You should drain him of every drop in his body. It would serve him right, the decimation of a monster.
You wanted to scream. To pull out your brain and scrub out the voices, hurt yourself to a point where you would no longer care about what Astarion did to you. But how could any pain, any anguish overcome the love you felt for him? The Urge. The Urge was clawing it's way out of the depths of your psyche. How could it really be gone when it had penetrated every memory you currently held. You didn't know life without the torturous spasms and depraved thoughts. You thought they might end with the death of your butler but, no. The Urge was ever present.
The fire crackled and lit the shadows of the room, yet you couldn't feel its warmth as you sat cold and alone. He was your warmth, your sun, your stars. Whenever you spoke to him your day would be brighter and your head clearer. Seeing him would make you smile and make you feel safe. You cursed yourself, you should never have been so dependent.
He felt like shit. Utter shit. Why had he exploded like that? What was the point when you didn't do anything wrong, it was your neck he drank from and yet he felt some kind of authority? No, it was not his place nor his decision and he really did feel like the fucking idiot. As he was about to leave his room to apologise he heard it. The noise that haunted him whenever he heard it. Your sobs, that permeated into his soul and made his dead heart ache. He adored you so deeply that whenever it felt like you were pulling away he would double down on harshness. It made him feel in control of the situation because, if he was the first to leave then he won.
Astarion sat down quietly on the stairs. Wanting to wait till your sobs subsided but they seemed full of a sadness that would never subside. All you ever did was help him, try to find a way for him to walk in the sun, sate his bloodthirst and yet… sometimes in his irrational brain it felt like you were trying to find a way to fix him so you could leave. When he was broken you could fix him in a never ending loop. But as soon as he was put back together there was no reason for the two of you to exist together. He would never get to be close to you, never touch you or hear you laugh. But now, due to his own stupidity you would leave anyway but this time with hatred for him.
Just his luck that he would be turned into a monstrous vampire, be threatened with turning into a mindflayer but the true evil was always inside of him. It felt ridiculous when he pondered on it. He was so at home here with you, so comfortable and safe but it was never enough. The evil inside of him would always rise up and ruin everything around him.
He felt like such a fucking bastard to make you cry. Make you feel so lonely that you would feel the need to cry, which you rarely did. Once or twice in the many years you'd known one another he had held you as you cried. Whispered words of support and affirmation as he held you close, it was such a rarity that he reminisced on those moments more than he cared to admit. Being able to be a comfort to you was ridiculously cathartic for him.
For centuries he had been a death sentence to everyone he got close to. Cazadors favourite errand boy, collecting lost pretty souls for him to gorge his ascension depravity on. He would never overcome that guilt, not that he should- it was his cross to bear. But being your comfort, your home… it made it all less soul crushing. When Astarion was with you he felt worthy, like he had a purpose to be your protector when you were really his. He felt safe and respected and if he ruined that then maybe he deserved to step into the sun.
Deciding it would be better if he slipped away quietly he waited for your sobs to subside. Suspecting you were asleep he crept down the stairs and stayed to the back wall, hoping to avoid his shadow being plastered on the wall in front of you.
“Is this it then?” You said quietly and it surprised even Astarion that his hiding skills had become so lax of late.
“What?” Was all he could say, bewildered at why you would care if he would leave.
“Is this it? Are you leaving me?” You slowly stood up and faced him, your eyes still watering.
“I thought it might be easier if I left when I thought you were asleep. It appears my hiding deficiency needs some serious attention.” He tried to smile and make some joke to thinly veil his panic.
“Please. Don't, Astarion.” You took one step closer to him and he wasn't sure if you were referring to him leaving or the poorly timed joke. The silence continued into what felt like hours to him. Having no clue what the right response would be, he could only remain quiet and hope that you wouldn't tell him to leave.
“Do you want to leave?” You asked, looking down at the floor and trying to hide the very clear tears in your eyes.
“I- if it would be best for you then I will.” Astarion was teetering between each foot, one closer to you and the other closer to the door. Maybe if he left now it would all be less painful, he could learn to forget you. But if he stayed, what if you grew to hate him? He couldn't survive it.
“But do you want to leave?” You asked again, surprised by your pleading tone.
“I don't know.” Was all he said and it was enough for you to lose all hope, you wanted to cry until it hurt but it wasn't fair on him. If he wanted to leave then you shouldn't be restricting him.
“If this is the last time I ever see you, I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the best thing for our friendship because I couldn't remain your friend and-” You interrupted yourself, because it wasn't fair to practically guilt trip him.
“In all the time I have known you, you have only made decisions to better others. But, what do you want?” Astarion turned to fully face you, no longer edging towards the door.
All you wanted to say was that you wanted him. You just wanted him, in whatever form that would take it didn't matter as long as he stayed. You could remain friends, though you'd always crave more but, it was better than never seeing him again.
“I want,” you paused, pondering on a response that wouldn't send him running away into the night. “I want you to be happy.” Astarion looked at the floor and smiled.
“My ever generous confidante. That can't be the only thing you desire, the only thing that you want. My happiness is inconsequential compared to your own.” He wanted to reach out, show that you didn't have to worry about him. Prove that he could stand on his own without needing you but he wasn't so sure it was true. The constant insecurities he had were only amplified by the possibility that you would see his shortcomings and push him away.
“Inconsequential? How can you even consider that? I care about you more than myself sometimes and I don't see it as a weakness. We support one another, help one another and what is the point of any of this if I have to pretend that something matters more to me than your happiness? You have no idea how important you are, how loved.” You said it without thinking and the fear was evident in your eyes to Astarion as he had the same look on his own face.
As much as he wanted your adoration, your love? It absolutely terrified him. Was it all just bloodlust? Was he using you as some willing blood bag? If he stopped feeding on you at any point would it all fade away into nothingness and he'd realise none of it was love, it was his insatiable hunger? The silence between the two of you felt cursed, the one to break it would have to be a stronger man than he was because he was too scared to say a word. Rooted in place, not able to flee because of that look in your eyes. He couldn't leave whilst you looked so terrified, he had an urge to take you in his arms. But he didn't, he stayed in place
“Astarion?” You sounded terrified.
“Your life would be so much easier without me.” He sounded so genuinely exasperated, unable to understand why you would want him in your life. His eyes welled up and he looked so beautiful in the light of the fire and, you couldn't help but feel more drawn to him.
“And?” You replied, more determined than ever to prove how you cared for him.
“That's all you have to say?” He asked and you nodded, it elicited a laugh from him that sounded hollow and yet relieved.
“You make my life better. It feels enriched and happy, you are the only person who calms me and comforts me. The only one I am completely comfortable with, the only one I want to be around this much.” you held one of his hands tentatively.
“You’re shaking, darling.” Astarion softly told you, leading you to your armchair and sitting you down.
“If your only reason is that it is better for me, please stay. I want you to stay here with me and we can carry on as we always have and-” he stopped you mid sentence putting a hand up.
“I don't think we can continue as we always have my darling.” He let out a sigh and you dug your nails into the arm of the chair.
“Then…what do we do?” You asked, still feeling like you were shaking and feeling even more pathetic by the minute.
“I mean, I don't know how any of this works, what comes next or what you exactly want from me.” whilst he couldn't reach your gaze he didn't seem upset.
“Well what do you want from me?” Your voice was strained and anxious, you were so completely convinced he would tell you that he wanted space from you.
“More, more than this. I don't… how the hells do you do all of this?” He sounded a mixture of happy and confused.
“Slowly. If that's what you want, it's not exactly that much of a transition from how we were. Less longing glances and more actual contact I suppose? I haven't ever had a companionship. Well, if I have it's before I lost my memory so this is… intimidating.” Your eyes flicked from the floor to Astarions anxiously.
“I don't remember ever having it either. We really are the weirdos of our odd little group aren't we. Even La'zel has probably had a companion. Losing to La'zel when it comes to romance is not something I plan on continuing.” Astarion held your hand tighter, looking up into your eyes.
“I care about you, so much.” You placed a hand on his cheek and he leant into it.
“Stop being so nice to me. Makes me feel like a good person. Ugh.” Astarion mocked disgust but you knew he loved the praise.
“Only leave me if you want to. Will you promise me that?” your thumb stroked across his cheek and you saw a single tear fall across your hand.
“Darling, I will never want to leave you, and the fact that you willingly give me a choice makes it clearer that I want to stay with you.” Astarion pulled your hand up to his face and kissed the back of it before hugging you around your stomach. Leaning his head on your lap. You finally relaxed and stopped shaking, stroking his hair in the firelight, you both existed in perfect happiness.
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comatosebunny09 · 7 months
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Scenarios I can’t help thinking about [ ft. Asarion Ancunín ]
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Following a fun shindig filled with wine and merriment and glittery things, you and Astarion wander into the hallway for a break.
The noise of the party fades as you walk side by side, your fingers idly brushing, and you both nudge each other like two enamored adolescents.
You, warm-faced and smiling like a fool, back toward a stone wall, hands clasped behind you, gazing up at Astarion. The candles in the wall sconce swaddle you both in their sensual glow.
“A lovely way to end the night, ey?” you muse from the tips of your toes.
Astarion studies you for a beat before angling himself closer. His hand presses against the wall beside your head, a smile taking possession of his lips as they pan in.
“Well…I can think of other ways I’d like to conclude my evening,” Astarion croons, fingers creeping over your hand to guide it to his lips for a tender kiss. Your gazes interlock—Astarion’s sultry and yours inquisitive—as he kisses a trail up to the hollow of your shoulder.
Astarion exhales slowly, rooting his nose against your neck, the air thick and dizzying. He husks, “Care to indulge me, my love?” nuzzling along your jawline, little puffs of air huffed against your already fevered flesh.
Your legs nearly give way beneath you. And no, it is not a consequence of the wine.
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“As much as I enjoy seeing you on your knees,” Astarion purrs, his grin shit-eating and his eyes half-slit like Cheshire Cat as he peers down at you, “I don’t want you straining yourself for little old me, love. Though I do appreciate the gesture.”
You scoff. Roll your eyes as you finish tying Astarion’s boot, tucking your smile into your armor. What a cheeky little shit he is. You return to your full height after tapping his ankle. You wipe your hands on your thighs, turning away from Astarion.
“You must be a riot at galas,” you say, your voice aching with a grin.
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[ Inspired by this lovely piece by @primopinku ].
Behind a goblet of viscous, red liquid, Astarion seethes.
He drums his fingers on the arm of his chair, legs crossed and nostrils flaring. He watches you with silver brows pinched and his canines digging into the lip of his cup. The metal of it bends beneath his crushing bite.
You’re beautiful. An ethereal being amid a sea of socialites all putting on a facade of elegance. You stick out like a sore thumb in your humble garb. Yet you effortlessly command the presence of everyone around you. Your kindness and airy laughter fill every nook and crevice of the ballroom. But that isn’t what has Astarion out of sorts.
He strangles the stem of his chalice, a scowl nestling itself amongst his features. A roguish hand sits at the small of your back—curse your attire for exposing such a delicious slither of skin. It’s slimy as it kneads little circles into your flesh, easing southward ever so subtly towards the curve of your bottom.
You kept shrugging out of its clutch with a nervous titter whenever it crept back onto you. Whenever gnarled fingers slid along the notches of your spine. But this imbecile wouldn’t take the hint. Tonight would surely be his last amongst the living due to his boldness.
Astarion moves without thinking. Tears through the sea of partygoers, gasps and murmurs of Your Majesty muddled by the rage pumping in his ears. He snatches the duke’s hand off your back. Twists it until bone crackles, and the man hisses with pain.
“Unless you want to lose this forever, I suggest you keep your hands to yourself.”
No one could touch his royal advisor and get away with it.
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masterlist
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jojikawa · 8 months
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Astarion with a fem! petite! elf reader
disclaimer: fem she/her reader, descriptions of sex, blood, manipulation. (it's tame but better to tag it anyways)
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art by tirtyturtle
Imagine Astarion getting cozy with the most unlikely party member. A short innocent elf girl who is unsure of herself and has a terrifying journey ahead of her.
It begins with teasing. Astarion finds it so hard that a darling who shies away when spoken to and blushes at the slightest acknowledgment is the one that everyone goes to answers for. You feel his tadpole worming its way into your mind, just so that he can have a peek at whatever you may be thinking about. He shoehorns his way into your life, acting as if you belong to him. When you talk he steps in front and speaks on your behalf instead.
He fantasizes about feeding from your neck, more often than he should for a man that doesn’t even know if you like him at all. How easily his fangs could piece your flesh in your sleep, how you squirm and whimper but unable to wake as he drains just enough of your blood to stave off his hunger, how adorably dazed you are from his antics and confused given you didn’t know of him being a vampire yet.
Imagine Astarion developing an urge to protect you because of your reserved nature bc he believes that only he is worthy of such a task. Can’t have anyone else stealing his little juice box away. Not in 200 years has he been able to taste something so exquisite? He wants so badly to become a true vampire so that he can make you a vampire too. You notice small bite marks on your body and your actions become more and more sluggish. Out of guilt, he comes out about being a vampire.
“There’s something about me that I might’ve forgotten to mention.”
He expects you to be angry, livid almost for him feeding without consent but he couldn’t help it.
Instead, you gave him permission.
Now, he needed to pursue you.
Imagine Astarion using you like his stress toy, wallowing in self-pity about his imprisonment with Cazador before he’s pushing cock into you. It takes everything out of him to not bite you in the midst of his strokes. It begins with him being gentle, reassuring, and almost witty with his words that make you blush. Once he’s close to climaxing, you feel fangs dig into your neck. You would expect him to feed on you, draining not just your innocence but your blood too…
He did not. He marked you. Making you his for as long as you walk beside him—and beyond. He would be the only vampire that could indulge in your blood.
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paranoiastudio · 6 months
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Defender
pairing: Astarion x f!reader
summary: You take on too much, but not everyone notice this.
warnings: no, it's just fluff
word count: 416
A/N: English is not my first language, sorry about mistakes
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Astarion felt irritated and even angry at you. You're grupe have a lot of problems, but you, a stupid idealist, waste precious time and help everyone you meet.
- Are you kidding me? - Astarion watches as you and Karlach climb onto the roof to deal with the arrogant eagles that took the house from the bird you met a couple of minutes ago. - We have to go!
- Stop grumbling! - You smile at the vampire and climb further up the tree.
He sighs and is even glad that the others seem to share his irritation. Every minute counts…
But hearing your scream, he can’t help but rush to help, once again reproaching himself for following your lead.
Together you all deal with the huge birds, Lae'zel cleans his sword of blood and feathers, when you climb straight out of the nest.
The vampire immediately smells blood, sees the broken armor and hurries towards you, catching you on the fly.
- My hero… - You smile again, but your pallor cannot be hidden. Fatigue suddenly overwhelmed you, you’ve been on the road for four days now, not making any stops, and you also gave Astarion your blood (every night).
- Stupid little bird. - He examines you and exclaims. - We have a halt! Refusals will not be accepted.
He pitched your tent himself and told everyone not to disturb you that night. Even Karlach, your dear friend, did not receive permission to visit you.
- Are you insane? At this rate, you're going to die, and not because of a fucking parasite.
- Sorry. - You watching the vampire from bed. - Are you hungry?
- I don’t think that’s a good idea, honey. Not today. - Astarion sits down next to you and touches your forehead. - I don't want to kill you.
- I would be pleased to die in your hands. - Your fingers touch and Astarion freezes, taken aback for the first time by your words. Usually he was the one who embarrassed you with his flirting.
- What? Why? You… - He smiles and you see his fangs in the candlelight.
- Just rest next to me, please. - You make some space for him. - I don't want to be alone.
Astarion immediately lies down next to you, hugging you. He tries not to put pressure on the wound, you bury yourself in his chest and sniffle sweetly, hugging the vampire with one arm.
- Thank you…
- At your service, beauty. - Astarion doesn’t understand what has changed in him, but he’s glad to be near you. Be needed. To be your defender.
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gay-dorito-dust · 5 months
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Might be the last thing I post for a little bit tbh…🦦
‘Darling I was thinking and-‘
‘Oh that can’t mean anything good.’ You teased playfully as Astarion gave you an unamused look before continuing.
‘Before us was so rudely interrupted.’ He side eyes your seated form. ‘I was just thinking,’ Astarion trails off as he runs a hand across your shoulders slowly as though savouring the contact before seating himself snugly on your lap; His legs on either side of you as his arms rested upon your shoulders, whilst his mischievous hands found purchase holding the back of your back, his fingertips and nails lightly caressing the skin there.
However your focus was more or less solely on the fact of how his chest was practically pressed against yours and the space -or for better words lack there of- between your and his face. You could see every detail that went into Astarion’s face, from his cheeks, his plush lips, to the glimpses of his fangs in the light of the fireplace and the look of a want, a need within his vermillion eyes that looked borderline primal.
Astarion was the epitome of a beauty so dangerous, so sought after you could easily loose your life to it, and the funny fact was; you didn’t mind if he was the last thing you ever got to see before being enveloped by darkness.
At the very least you would get to lay your eyes on something ethereal in beauty before your soul left your mortal body. You’d happily be ensnared into his trap of false promises of the future and silky words constantly, especially so if it meant getting to peer at his beautiful face.
‘If there’s something you wish for Astarion,’ you began after a brief moment of silence, ‘then you need only ask, use your words instead of your body.’
Astarion blinks at this as though no one has ever told him that, which only further proved in breaking your heart. He had told you his story in pieces before confessing the whole story one night beneath the stars, and ever since it had haunted you in knowing that you were quite possibly the only person who had made him feel as though he had a choice, like he had a say in the things that happen to him rather then having the freedom of choice taken from him completely.
‘You don’t have to seduce me into doing something for you because you already know that I’d do just about anything for you.’ You continued, raising your hands to gingerly hold his porcelain face and run your thumbs over his cheek bones, watching as he initially flinched at your touch before melting into it.
Astarion laughs humourlessly. ‘Of course you would, how could I forget.’ He utters so softly you almost couldn’t hear him despite being so close. ‘You’ve gave me back the gift of flight to my wings that I never thought I would ever get back after being under Cazador’s thumb…for so long.’ He sounded to be in excruciating pain when he said the words for so long. You didn’t speak and decided to allow Astarion the space to get anything he still had left on his chest, but he didn’t say much afterwards in regards to Cazador, for enough about him had already been said in the past; and instead chose to rest his forehead against your own and sighing.
‘What was it that you were thinking about my love?’ You said, bringing the conversation back to the reason he was sat on your lap in the first place.
‘I only wished to ask if we could spend the day together.’ Astarion replied. ‘For it seemed as of late that we’ve been busy with other matters outside of what truly counts. Us.’ He adds as he pressed his forehead further against yours as though he needed to feel you on a much deeper level than physical.
You smiled softly as you too then closed your eyes and allowed yourself to be in the moment with your beloved, even if all feeling in your legs was slowly going, not that you were complaining or anything, it was just that you too have noticed the lack of quality time you’ve spent with Astarion, that the only time you had for one another was in the dead of night; when your fighting to stay away as long as you could with him in hopes of making up for lost time.
‘I’m not against the idea of having an us day, got any suggestions?’
Astarion only smirks.
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dopepoisonivyoncrack · 4 months
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I can't take my mind off Astarion joining Tav in a bath pool like the one in the Boudoir at the House of Hope, or... can you imagine during their travels, Tav slipping away from camp late at night to go take a bath in a nearby pond/lake, like a nymph in the moonlight... how could he resist joining?!
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namespara · 4 months
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If Cazador ever commented on Astarions companions (instead of just ignoring them which ultimately leads to his downfall) he'd be pretty flabbergasted to see the durge he definitly has heard of innit
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velnna · 4 months
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I wish we could ask him what a magistrate actually does because I don't have a fucking clue
(reference)
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cammys-imagines24 · 7 months
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°•Astarion Drinking Your Blood•°
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Oh, Astarion never tires of your taste.
Whether it's his first time drinking from you or the hundredth.
You were his first human after all.
But even if he hadn't of lived centuries slaking his thirst with that of vermin...
Forcing their rotten, diseased blood down his hungry maw in sheer desperation...
The Vampire would still find your blood to be like ambrosia from the gods.
The sweetest thing to grace his tongue and warm his belly.
Sometimes it's hard to stop, if Astarion is being honest with himself.
But he loves you too, too much to put you in any mortal peril.
Though after a feeding you may feel dizzy and need to recuperate the next day.
It's just, after so long dining upon infected, squirming rats with mottled fur and yellowing buck teeth...
In the shadows of night, prowling the pests and repugnant riffraff.
He can't help himself and he's grateful you allow him to indulge a little.
But despite however ravenous he is, he's always gentle.
Pulling you close and kissing the moonlit column of your throat.
Tenderly wrapping his ivory arms around your waist, his tone sultry while whispering sweet nothings and gratitudes in your ear.
Astarion is so well versed in his ministrations that you've come to want him to feed off of you just as much as he wants, no, needs to be fed by you.
You relishing his hands leaving indents in the flesh of your hips and his breath upon your nape...
Often finding yourself tugging on strands of his curled silver locks to pull him closer.
Until no space is between you two. Until his mouth touches your neck.
And once it does, Astarion can't help but close his eyes, an involuntary shudder resounding through his whole body at the perfume of you.
Your essence a seductive potion which the Vampire would gladly, willingly lap up forever and ever.
No matter how gentle and inviting he makes the build up though, there's simply nothing to be done about the initial pain.
Astarion can't help the fact that once he bares his pearly, white fangs and sinks them into the sensitive flesh of your neck that it's unpleasant.
His fangs like two white hot pokers burrowing into your jugular vein, causing a muffled scream to leave you.
Your bottom lip plump from how hard you gnaw at it.
He does hate your scream. It revolts him that he's the cause of it.
But it is a momentary distress from you before you reassuringly comb through his hair again.
And after a few labored breaths, you ease into the pain. Getting used to it every single time.
By then he's drunk on you. Gorging himself on the nectar of your life. The crimson, pulsing river of your very being.
He's practically sent to heaven with each swallow and he never thought a spawn like him would get there.
Once you go slack in Astarion's arms he holds you tight, cradling your warm body. His fingers ghosting over your chest, hips, stomach...
And when your heartbeat begins to slow that's when he forces himself to pull away.
Licking the scarlet stream which drips down the two raw puncture wounds.
Cleaning up his mess all the way down to the start of your cleavage, exposed from your unlaced shirt.
Aftercare is incredibly important to Astarion and he is quick to sweep you up bridal style in his arms.
Tucking you safely into your shared bed and fetching you a glass of cool water.
You, weakened and tired, putting up little fuss but managing to smile at him and reach out to take his hand.
He wastes no time, falling into bed with you and pulling you close so your head is upon his chest.
He keeps you in a vice grip all night long so that any who would dare come to harm you in your diminished state would have to go through him first.
And he damn well would never let any harm come to you, save that of the wounds he assaults upon your neck.
And with you content but exhausted in Astarion's arms he licks his red stained lips and smiles in satisfaction.
He thinks you are a marvel really, to allow him to drink your blood in the first place.
To consent willingly and give him a taste of pure ecstasy.
And with his flushed cheeks and twinkling, enlivened crimson eyes, he places a kiss on your forehead.
Whispering how very much he loves you while you sleep soundly upon his chest.
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multific · 3 months
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Your Eyes Glow in the Dark
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Astarion x Reader
Summary: Loving him is the hardest and easiest thing you have ever done.
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You remember the first time you caught him staring at you, it was in the middle of the day.
You were in a small village when you decided to help the people of the village with your powers, you helped their crops grow and land become fertile.
You were playing with the children when you looked up and noticed him.
At the time you thought he watched you in disgust. 
But later, you found out it was very different.
As you caught him more and more, staring at you, and your conversations with him, you soon realized, you were in love.
Astarion, the pale elf, hides his pain behind his confidence. But you saw right through him.
You could see him for who he was.
And he liked that about you.
He liked that you didn't mess about, that you didn't walk away from him for who he was. That you didn't give up on him.
He can still recall the night you caught him feeding off of you.
Truth was, you already knew, you woke up before and caught him but pretended not to know.
He tried to be quiet, he tried to sneak about, but you already knew.
He could still recall your soft voice when you told him that it was okay, that he could drink from you.
"I rather have you drain me than be sick or worse." you said as your eyes shined with love in the dark evening.
He fell first, but you fell harder. 
To the others, it was almost sickening, watching the two of you dance around one another without admitting the feelings you both knew you shared.
And yet, you were scared to admit them.
Now, looking back you felt silly. Astarion absolutely loved you, and you loved him.
You weren't even sure anymore why you were so nervous about your feelings towards him. 
Was it that you feared he was using you? Probably.
Was it that he believed he didn't deserve love? Possible.
And yet, his admission about his feelings came as a surprise.
"No one ever looked out for me. No one ever said a kind thing to me. You're the only one. Other people don't have a heart like you. You're you. No one is like that." he said and he broke your heart. Like a cold shower realization hit you about his past.
Even if he told you about the... poem on his back, he never opened up to you before like this.
It was a dark evening, only the moon and you two, you watched as his eyes seemed to glow in the darkness of the forest. 
In them, you could see pure love and nothing more.
"I love you." you told him although he knew very well.
As much as you knew, he also did. Your feelings towards him were obvious, in the beginning, he feared them, but now, here he was, proud to be in love and to be loved.
"And I love you, my Dear Darling." he said as he kissed your lips, pulling you close and holding you.
Every time you held Astarion, you were gentle, as if he was made of glass. You knew you had to be like that. He was a great pretender when it came to feelings, but you have seen him cry, you have heard his doubts.
But now, he had you to cast those dark shadows away and forget about his past. 
He had you to make his life happy and bright.
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Taglist: @castellandiangelo @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou @mandoloriancookie @brascaris @il0vebeingdelulu @deliciousfestsalad
~Masterlist~
ˇAO3ˇ
/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/
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verawhisk · 6 days
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You are safe. The winds of fate blow you to the warmest of hearths in the most cordial of inns. The touch of the sun comforts your flesh, but never burns it.
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lavender-romancer · 15 days
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Push it Down
Astarion x GN Reader
Everyday it got worse, the longing stares interrupted when La’zel would curiously catch your eyeline always straying to Astarion. Or how you would always inextricably walk next to him regardless of the goal ahead. Shadowheart would often question if Astarion had to open “every lock we find” at your request. But you couldn't help it, being near him, with him was all you would think about
AN: Astarion brainrot is a real condition people. Lots of lovely fluff.
You're a squishy wizard
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*°*°•.˜”*°•.˜”*°•.˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”°*
“Do you have to make your feelings so obvious that it's painful?” Shadowheart asked as you looked through some random boxes you found in what remained of moonhaven.
“Do you have to bring this up again?” You jabbed back with a smile. “I'm not ashamed of it, but I will never outright admit it.”
“Lady of Sorrows guide you, I don't know how you're able to stand with your debilitating lack of a spine.” She raised her eyebrow and you simply rolled your eyes “Here, go give these to your boy-toy.” Handing you a few thieves' tools Shadowheart walked to another side of the room and continued looting.
You scampered outside, only realising when you were in front of Astarion how desperate it must have looked to run up to him like a dog wagging its tail excitedly. He was unlocking a chest that was one in a big group La'zel and Karlach had put together for him to deal with.
“Here,” you held out the tools with a smile that was much too big for such a small token.
“Thank you, darling.” He smiled up at you. “You're looking particularly overjoyed, what's got you so energetic?”
“Uh… looting.” You never were good at lying.
“Thank the Gods you never became a politician because your inability to deceive is one of your greatest qualities.” He opened the chest he had been working on.
“I suppose. But I wish I was better at more things like that, it just makes me so nervous to not be honest.” You fidgeted with your hands.
“Well, for starters you need to be better at improvising, it is adorable to see you try and lie to anyone and fail miserably. I'm convinced you should just be completely honest and people might not believe you.” Standing up he brushed the dust off his trousers and you were now face to face. Given, a few steps apart but it still made you smile and your feet shuffle anxiously.
“The tadpole has definitely made me better at lying, you have to at least admit that.” You were practically beaming, staring at him in awe.
“Still, you carry most of your emotions in your eyes and your inability to stop smiling. You'll get there eventually my friend, probably, I mean probably not but it's very sweet that you continue to try. Anyways, we should head back to camp for the evening I am positively spent.” Astarion walked past you to pick up his backpack and you internally groaned.
It was so deeply embarrassing when you couldn't keep your emotions hidden. A problem you had usually put down to anxiousness, but realistically it was just something you had to learn to live with. You were an open book with almost no air of mystique about you. Maybe that was why Astarion seemed so utterly uninterested in seeking anything but friendship or a quick night of passion.
As you lay in your tent, you conjured a mage hand to throw books at you to try and practice your telekinesis but it was going dreadfully. Whilst your magic was growing back to it's former strength before the tadpole you were still plagued by poor reaction times to basically anything. One quite powerful throw from the conjured hand hit your arm and you yelped, sure that it would leave a bruise.
“What mischief are you up too now?” A voice suddenly asked, distracting you from the task at hand as a book hit you square in the face.
“Fuck!” You exclaimed, dismissing the mage hand and rubbing your nose.
“Are you trying to be agile again? You know how that ended up last time.” Astarion joked as he entered your tent and sat down opposite you.
A funny but painful memory entered your mind when you had tried to climb over a very small wall to surprise some goblins and had instead ended up on your back in front of them. If falling over in front of some goblins wasn't bad enough, you had also slipped in grease that was extremely easy to avoid alerting the whole horde to your party's location. The bollocking you got from La'zel after that encounter made you promise to work on your ability to not be “such a fucking Wizard” whatever that meant.
“No, surprisingly I was failing at something else.” You quipped back at him, “anyways, did you want to feed or-”
“No, well yes but, I wanted to talk to you.” He licked his lips absentmindedly and seeing the slight glint of his fangs off the light of your candle made your eyes grow wider. You never knew you'd have a thing for vampires…
“Oh! Do uhm, talk away.” You cringed at your inability to string a sentence together.
“I- look. I know that I am beautiful and wonderful darling, but have you been looking at me slightly differently lately?” he asked, you could almost sense that he was nervous but you weren't sure why.
“What do you mean?” You responded with your eyes fixated on your bedroll on the floor as the alarm bells rang in your head.
“With more longing behind your eyes?” You hadn't noticed that same longing in his eyes which was often present in your gaze.
“Who- I- why did you get that impression?” You fumbled through your words and began fiddling with your robe.
“Oh, I…” he trailed off and you finally looked up, sensing his dejected tone you cocked your head.
“You sound disappointed.” Your tone was soft in an attempt to stop him from running away from the conversation.
“Disappointed? Darling if I wanted you I could most certainly have you.” Having returned to his snarky sense of security you frowned.
“Is that why you seem so annoyed? Because I rejected you before?” Your mind went back to drinking red wine with him, the sour taste filling your nose all over again. It wasn't that you didn't want him, you just didn't want the first time you could spend the night with him to be clouded with alcohol and regret. Maybe it had bruised his ego but there were so many reasons to try to let your bond grow overtime.
“You think that wounded me? I have laid with thousands and I'll lay with thousands more before I am hurt by that!” He exclaimed but you could see the hurt in his eyes that he struggled to hide.
“I didn't want it to be like that. Something that you might feel like was a mistake, a drunken mishap you'd rather forget. I didn't- I don't want you to think I did it because I did not want it. Under different circumstances things would have been different for me.” Clasping your hands together you tried to reach his gaze but it was so accusatory that it was making your heart pound.
“I- I don't think I've ever been rejected as tactfully as you did.” Astarion almost laughed with a far-away look in his eyes.
“It didn't feel genuine and I couldn't allow myself to be swept up in all of it knowing that we weren't on the same page with our feelings about one another.” Smiling sadly you looked at the book that had previously hit you in the face, pushing it to the side you moved a bit closer to him. “I'm sorry that you felt like you had to do that, that night I mean. Correct me if I'm wrong, please.”
“I'm not sure how you know me so well that it's almost concerning.” His voice sounded strained as he departed from his snarky performative notes.
“You've become my favourite distraction through all of this shit we've dealt with. I really like being around you, it will be a shame when it all comes to an end when we get to Baldurs Gate.” your voice didn't show your true sadness but your eyes certainly did and Astarion could tell.
“I was hidden for so many years within those city walls, imprisoned and kept as a loyal pet before the nautiloid. A grim reality was the only way to escape the even worse life I was living and… I never thought I'd make friends let alone feel connected to someone. But you, you're thoughtful and sweet and respectful and too perceptive for your own good but so silly and honestly so bad as hiding that it's hilarious. Finding someone who understands you is a great gift and I would not like to squander it.” Astarion reached out his hand and it shook slightly as he showed his true vulnerability. You looked from his hand to his face, it was genuine and really from everything you could gather, it seemed like he was being the most honest he'd ever been with you.
“You want to stay together?” Your voice was so hopeful as your head told you that you were an idiot.
“Yes. You fool. Was that not clear. Now hold my hand so we're not both fools.” He rolled his eyes and you hurriedly held his hand. Your clamminess was immediately obvious given his hand was ridiculously cold. “God you mortals are always sweaty aren't you.” He gave you a cheeky smile and you had to laugh or you'd descend into an anxiety ridden madness.
“Do you want to stay here tonight? I would enjoy a cuddle.” You asked.
“Just a cuddle Darling?” He flirted but there was still that look behind his eyes that was there after the tiefling party. The look you had come to understand was the dogma drilled into him to seduce, sleep with and then sacrifice all his conquests. Sex wasn't the same in Astarion's head as it was in yours but you didn't mind, it wasn't important to you.
“Just a cuddle.” You smiled in a way that you hoped was supportive and whilst he looked surprised he didn't seem disappointed. “Come here,” you lay down on the pillows and invited him to chest.
Whilst tentative he rested his head on your chest and slowly placed his hand on your arm. You without warning wrapped your arms around him in a squeeze of a hug that would probably suffocate someone who wasn't already dead. But he seemed to appreciate it as he nuzzled under your chin and his body began to relax. You stayed like that for a while until you began to snore and Astarion peeled himself from your embrace. He sat up and started to read, every so often glancing down at you. How an earth had he allowed himself to fall for a Wizard?
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