#as someone under the aromantic umbrella it pissed me off | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

criminalskies · 9 months

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Hi Rome! I wanted to reach out to you because I feel this is a safe space and I know it’s stupid because we don’t even really know each other but I feel like I can trust you and that I have your support. Anyway, I wanted to kind of ask for advice on my sexuality if that’s ok. I’ve been kind of questioning it the last few years but am not really sure what I identify with. I always used to think I was straight but now it feels like I don’t belong in that “category”

I don’t like s3x. I don’t find it to feel good or be fun or anything like that. I don’t mind reading smutty stuff sometimes but when it gets too descriptive, I’m out.

I mostly find men attractive, but I sometimes find women attractive as well. But I don’t really feel sexually drawn to either of them. Like the most I feel is fantasizing about holding their hand or cuddling or maybe making out but certainly nothing past that. I mean I’ve had dreams (not like fantasizing but literal night time dreams) about being with both a man or a woman, but idk if that means anything. And I’ve found that some of the people I find attractive aren’t your typical “hot” people and it thinks it’s because I might care more about who they are than what they look like? Idk

I sometimes fantasize about having a relationship, but in reality I don’t want one. I think I more just like the idea of it and how they are in books and movies, but not the real life situation. Especially when I think about being with someone all the time. I prefer to be on my own. Which I guess is why I wonder if this even really matters, but I feel like I need to know even if it’s not applied?

Anyway, sorry, I’m rambling!! I just wanted someone to discuss this with I guess and I don’t really want to go to my family yet, which is why I wanted to reach out to you (and I guess the tumblr community if you decide to answer this and it’s on your feed lol) and if you do choose to share any advice, thank you, I love you, I love your writing, and the nasty anon people who share their evil words can kindly piss off! <3

Hi baby! Let me start this off by saying there’s no reason for you to feel silly at all, I say that this account is a safe space and I really mean it. I’m glad you feel comfortable and supported by me because that’s a goal of mine to have people always feel that way on my page.

Now, I’m assuming you’re here bc you’ve seen me talk about times in my life when I’ve thought I was asexual or even aromantic? and that stays true. admittedly when you sent me this ask I went full dad mode googling the aro/ace spectrum lingo and terms to make sure I’m giving you the best information. I also researched this stuff a bunch myself because as you say it’s all a bit confusing when you feel you fall between the ‘categories’.

But that’s an important point for me to make here: asexuality and aromanticism are fluid and exist on a spectrum. All our life experiences and ups and downs and mindsets and the people in our lives can change or skew these things, and that’s okay! I don’t expect to identify the exact same way forever. Honestly, when I first learned what aro and ace were, I was a bit lost because doesn’t everybody feel like this sometimes?

So with my newfound research let me try to talk you through what you’re saying?

You don’t like sex, not fun, not desirable, that’s completely valid. I’m finding more and more myself that I maybe fall somewhere under that umbrella, but an interesting term I found online helped me here:

All the different niches of asexuality get a little confusing, but I resonate a lot with this one. I find myself with very little desire to actually partake in sex, but enjoying the fantasies or hypotheticals to be really interesting. I enjoy reading smut and even writing it once in a blue moon, but yeah, in terms of the real thing, I’m becoming increasingly unsure it’s my cup of tea.

I notice you said sometimes smut can be your cup of tea, if it’s nondescript or just implied etc, but usually isn’t. I completely understand what you mean. I think that’s a completely valid stance. You aren’t completely repulsed by sex but you’re also not aroused by it, I totally hear you!

Now you say you find yourself attracted to men and to women, but not sexually. I feel that. I fantasise about having someone to hold hands with and play with their hair, cuddle up under blankets to watch movies, all that fun jazz all the time! so it sounds to me like you’re existing somewhere on the ace spectrum, but you’re not aromantic. That is, you do feel romantic attraction, you do want a partner in some things outside of platonic life. Again! Man!!! I hear you! I want the quiet days and the running errands and having someone who knows me like the back of their hand, but I’m not sure I want that person sexually or at least not all the time.

And the people you’re attracted to, it’s less because of that primary attraction (this term comes up a lot in ace literature, it’s that feeling non-ace people get when they see someone and immediately a fire is lit in their belly, they want that person) and more because you get to know and love them as a person. You are preaching to the damn choir here.

Secondary Attraction is a term for that feeling that slowly grows over time, particularly romantic feelings for someone. It’s mostly coined by Demisexual people, which I feel like maybe you’re fitting into, only not in the sexual way, but in the romantic way. Like you might be asexual but demiromantic where all of your attraction comes from getting to know the person underneath. Sorry if it sounds like I’m making up words at this point but i think it helps to have some language to help describe how you’re feeling. But again! There’s no necessity to define these things. Just saying you’re asexual but you feel romantic attraction can cut it, or saying nothing at all is fine, too. You don’t have to fit into any little boxes sweetheart. Although it can be comforting to know that others fit into the same one, that you’re not alone. But let me tell you, you aren’t 💕💗 I’m right here and I feel you!

Now the part where you say you don’t want a forever relationship, I can understand too. Now it sounds a little like you might exist somewhere within aromantic because you don’t have that desire to have a romantic relationship. That is so okay too.

there are some ace-aro people who are referred to as greysexual or greyromantic (I know this sounds so made up but it helped me feel seen) who can feel some degree of sexual attraction or some degree of romantic attraction sometimes, but for the most part they fit under the general umbrella. Remember, time changes all. We aren’t going to be the same people we are today forever, so we can’t expect one identity to withstand the force of time alone, things change and that’s okay.

Please please remember that being ace or aro does not mean your life will be any less fulfilling than people who have partners. I know that in media, romantic love can be shown as being something a level above platonic love, but really truly your life can be just as marvellous without it my dear.

Please do not apologise for rambling, Rome loves to ramble. My inbox is always open for rambling sweetheart! I have definitely doubled the length of your ramble at this point anyways so I’ll cut to the chase. I threw a lot of labels o it there for you to try them on and see what feels right, but truly, labels aren’t a necessary part of being a human being. You are no less interesting or less important or less understood if you can’t make yourself fit into any one of these categories my love. You’re human, humans are complex and every single one is an anomaly of something. That’s what makes us so damn interesting, okay?

I see you and I understand you. Thank you for coming to me to talk about this, I hope any single thing I’ve said helps. There is no need at all to run to people with a definition of it, it’s perfectly okay to just tell them what you’ve told me, which is how you feel.

Now I love you too my sweet summer child and I’m so glad you enjoy my writing and my blog! And I agree, that anon was a whole mess but for the most part it seems to be over now. I’m so glad I didn’t disable all anon asks now though because then I never would have gotten this from you. I hope I have been of any help at all! The bottom line is you are loved and you are you. There’s no need to change that. ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜🩷

also I have about eleven more screenshots from this site if you want them but it’s just all the terms I tried to describe.

#Rome’s advice corner #I am so fucking honoured this person came to me with this #I feel like a proud papa #Rome’s got mail!#anon mail!

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nubinublado · 1 year

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so this music reviewer on tiktok did an overview on bts and he didn't bash it or anything it was basically him just saying that it wasn't for him. but it wasn't just that either he emphasize that he didn't have much to gain from 7 attractive men. and it really bothered me that he did that because i hate when bts' appeal is simplified like that. not just in a "wait lemme show you how deep their lyrics and music video are" but just the erasure of queer fans who's attraction excludes men in one way or another (straight cis men fall under this too but i don't count them as victims of this since it's to some degree their fault lolol).

he was genuinely nice throughout and i felt bad at times for being so bothered by it, but then i remembered that *i'm* one of the erased queers in that. i am aroace and though there's some biro in there my expierence under the aromantic umbrella includes no celebrity crushes. i guess i have to have some irl interaction with someone to develop a crush or something. so the bulk of my enjoyment of bts has nothing to do with indulging a sexual or romantic attraction to them. i do greatly admire them aesthetically and i do not shame any fan for enjoying bts for boyfriend fantasy fan service-ey reasons, but the idea that someone thinks my sexuality and my enjoyment of bts are contradictory pisses me off.

another thing is when i first joined the fandom i did thing i was a straight cis woman so basically being an army predates every aspect of my queer identity. and it wasn't just a coincidental timeline thing bts are a part of that queer journey. . . literally. . . i went to a soundcheck and panicked the whole time *especially* when taehyung looked at my general direction. now cut to a month or so later walking to the back of the line at an eden concert i catch an attractive girl not so subtly check me out and i had the exact same panic down to the same random thought "oh shit is my shirt on backwards"

now it took a few more expierences for me to fully take on a bi label but that occassion was the first time i seriously considered the idea that there's *something* bi about me, and that event was sure as hell the reason i initially came out as an demisexual *romantic attraction pending*

i guess that's what ultimately bothers me about the whole stereotype that kpop fans are cis straight girls and how the only appeal to idol boy groups have is providing a boyfriend fantasy to their fans cause it just takes takes a huge eraser to my experiences as an army.

#i don't think i'm better than any fan who openly thirsts over the boys #but i do think i'm better than any straight man who closes his mind to great music because “i'm not gay”

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mmamagoto · 3 years

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are u guys prepared for this i put all five of the muses here on this one. so of course it’s under a cut for being long as hell

nicknames:

gender: female

age:

date of birth: april 30

origin of birth: listen they’re all from the human world on this blog so let me just save myself the trouble of typing that four more times

race/species: cat (scottish fold)

spoken languages:

romantic/sexual preference: middles toward aromantic

occupation: royal assistant and whatever else they can toss under the umbrella of ‘assistant duties’

hobbies: space, sports (or more specifically, competition), stereotypically Cool Boy things like dinosaurs and creepy crawlies, annoying natori

criminal record:

disorders: none

eye color: kind of a hazel thinking emoji they’re pretty tbh

height: markedly shorter than every other cat in this dang film

scars: possibly a few very minor ones from some scrapes and clumsiness upon first coming to the cat kingdom, but they’re probably not very noticeable

birthmarks: none

overweight: i’m. not sure thinking emoji she’s definitely a solidly-built little thing but considering she’s a cat it literally could just be her body type lmao. even so, she doesn’t consider it an issue, and neither does anyone else tbh

underweight: no

favorite color: olive green, pink

favorite food: yakiimo

wants to get married / is married: n. no

gotten pregnant / had a child: no

wants a child: not really. she’s content with her cool big sister role

likes children: yes. she has kind of a natural rapport with them

can sing: i mean. she can probably carry a tune

play an instrument: probably not

can dance: ???

gotten tattoos:

gotten piercings: nah

smoked/drank/done drugs: has probably definitely had Drinks. also like probably catnip/matatabi, which all things considered i’m not sure if it counts lmao

had a broken heart: not really

been in love: not really

a cuddler: Probably bc i’m still very amused by her and natori having to share a room during a trip to another kingdom and natori Suffering the entire time

a kisser:

scared easily: she’s skittish which is Unfortunate bc she is the ‘reacts to jump scares by punching them’ type

jealous easily: it. depends on what it is. she tends to be more the envious type, where she covets Unique and Cool objects over companionship

hot/cool tempered: generally very cool. she’s a tolerant creature, and i feel like that tends to get overlooked thinking emoji

trustworthy: mostly, particularly when compared with her two coworkers lmao

single: yes

extroverted/introverted: she’s adaptable

considered mean: this one is so funny to me bc i think, when compared with natori who is kind of in a similar position to her in the hierarchy, she’s often seen as the more approachable one which is ironic bc between the two of them she’s the uhhhh. less Understanding one. she will sell you for a corn chip

fears: sugoroku space, dogs (just slightly), stick bugs but every other kinda bug is Fine By Her, natori with a ruler in his paw

siblings: marsh (older brother)

parents: unknown

pet(s): none

nicknames: mostly (even now) referred to by titles by everyone except lune

gender: male

age:

date of birth: august 2

origin of birth: see above

race/species: cat (probably a persian)

spoken languages:

romantic/sexual preference: i kinda lean toward bi or panromantic tbh

occupation: retired king so. mostly just a NEET at this point

hobbies: traveling (mostly to show off but stILL). other than that, now that he’s retired, he’s struggled with finding hobbies that aren’t just napping or following natori around. he’s not a patient or committed creature, so when he tries something new and it’s Too Hard, he tends to lose interest very quickly. that said, he definitely relies very heavily on other people, natori, natoru, and entertainers, etc. to provide him with things to pass the time

criminal record: he’s offended at this very notion

disorders: does. does strabismus count

eye color: has marked heterochromia, with one blue eye and one red eye

height: Tall for a cat jjfkdeia

scars: none

birthmarks: none

overweight: actually, no

underweight: no, tho without all the fur, he definitely has a scrawnier, less conventionally cute look to him jfjfie;a

favorite color: gold

favorite food: oden

wants to get married / is married: he maybe kinda sorta misses being married (or, more specifically, having a significant other)

gotten pregnant / had a child: yes, so long as adoption counts

wants a child: a grandkid sounds kinda nice

likes children: yes, but to absolutely no one’s surprise he’s a bad influence on them and has No Clue how to interact with them when they’re upset. he also is 100% the type to throw hands with a preschooler

can sing: OF COURSE

play an instrument: no, tho he certainly likes the idea of being able to. he’s badgered natori into trying to teach him before inevitably getting bored with the practice when he’s not instantly a genius at it (see above in the hobbies section, aha)

can dance: definitely. unless it’s not a ballroom dance. then no one wants to see that

gotten tattoos:

gotten piercings: mm, probably not

smoked/drank/done drugs: absolutely

had a broken heart: yes

been in love: twice

a cuddler: It Depends. he was once someone’s Ultra Pampered house cat, so he’s of the five of them probably the most amenable to being pet and held, but he’s also temperamental and finicky so uh. Pet At Your Own Risk ig

a kisser:

scared easily: not really. he’s too impulsive to be scared psh

jealous easily: 100%

hot/cool tempered: HE CLIMBED HIS WAY UP A TOWER WITH NOTHING BUT HIS CLAWS AND SHEER OFFENDED WILLPOWER.............. and all with two swords strapped to him..............

trustworthy: not too much

single: it’s. Complicated

extroverted/introverted: extroverted, mostly, but he has his random introspective moments when he generally wants to be alone

considered mean: I MEAN. it really depends jfjfei;a i will go to the grave with this headcanon that he’s honestly well-liked as a ruler but has a definite reputation of being difficult-to-please and mercurial

fears: being genuinely or legitimately Disliked, pissing off lune to the point he turns his back on him, squeamish with squirmy things

siblings: none

parents: unknown. the previous queen is his mother-in-law

pet(s): none

nicknames: an endless cavalcade of affectionate nicknames from his father and no one can convince me otherwise

gender: male

age:

date of birth: october 27

origin of birth: see above

race/species: cat (the fandom seems to have him pegged as a russian blue and i’m not gonna disagree sO)

spoken languages:

romantic/sexual preference: probably heteroromantic

occupation: king of cat kingdom :v

hobbies: butterflies and moths, idk does urban exploration count for a cat lmao

criminal record: no

disorders: none

eye color: shares his father’s heterochromia-- one blue eye, one red eye

height: notably smaller than his father but still taller than natoru like everyone else jfkfd;a

scars: none

birthmarks: none

overweight: no

underweight: no

favorite color: aquamarine

favorite food: lots of different street foods, tbh, but his favorites are probably takoyaki and taiyaki (particularly when filled with cheese laughs)

wants to get married / is married: is married! and very happy with that marriage

gotten pregnant / had a child: no

wants a child: it’s crossed his mind, but not with any real intent

likes children: probably. he’s never really interacted with them

can sing: i mean. again, he can probably carry a tune

play an instrument: i feel like he probably can. at least one thinking emoji

can dance: yes

gotten tattoos:

gotten piercings: ........i should give him his manga earring. it’s cute

smoked/drank/done drugs: has definitely had some alcohol in his life. also the catnip thing again

had a broken heart: not yet

been in love: yES

a cuddler: i’m. not sure

a kisser:

scared easily: not in the least, but it’s mostly bc he’s a gaddang pollyanna

jealous easily: not particularly. he’s a gregarious creature

hot/cool tempered: cool-tempered, but without natori’s aloofness so he most likely comes across more reasonably or genuinely

trustworthy: Absolutely

single: no

extroverted/introverted: like natoru, he’s adaptable. and like natori, i feel that he’s become quite practiced at playing the part of an extrovert, but perhaps with more genuineness

considered mean: ABSOLUTELY NOT

fears: saying goodbye to any of the familiar cats in his life, Abrupt Change, vehicles are a little iffy nowadays

siblings: none

parents: cat king (father). the previous cat queen was his grandmother (uh, not persephone)

pet(s): none atm, but probably had numerous ones throughout his childhood, including a rabbit which ‘ran away to the mountains (aka the ninth kingdom)’ at some point. according to natori, that is

nicknames: poppet, a long time ago

gender: male

age:

date of birth: unknown. tends to use the cat kingdom’s new year celebrations as an excuse to celebrate

origin of birth: see above

race/species: cat (oriental longhair)

spoken languages:

romantic/sexual preference: generally idles between homoromantic and demiromantic

occupation: royal advisor/assistant. on paper, he’s retired, but it’s never stopped him before

hobbies: keeping goldfish, music, cooking

criminal record:

disorders: none

eye color: coppery brown

height: close to the king’s height. i keep waffling back and forth on just which of them is taller

scars: none

birthmarks: it’s not necessarily a birthmark, but he does have some kind of marking on him Somewhere (x-files theme) it’s well-hidden by his clothing

overweight: no

underweight: no

favorite color: lavender

favorite food: fish

wants to get married / is married: He Doesn’t Know

gotten pregnant / had a child: no

wants a child: like natoru, he’s mostly content with his role as uncle/mentor

likes children: yes, tho he’s easily stressed by them lmao

can sing: y e s

play an instrument: i’m not really sure yet thinking emoji

can dance: yes

gotten tattoos:

gotten piercings: he would never

smoked/drank/done drugs: like the others, has definitely had a taste of alcohol fjfjkd;a

had a broken heart: yes

been in love: he’s not sure

a cuddler: generally Not

a kisser:

scared easily: his composure drops pretty quick lbr

jealous easily: a little. a teensy bit. okay it’s much more than a teensy bit

hot/cool tempered: cool-tempered, but, as mentioned above, with a very distinct aloof edge that probably often leads to him being perceived as unapproachable

trustworthy: .............it depends

single: yyyyyyye-- no? yes. no. nobody knows

extroverted/introverted: introverted, mostly, but he plays a very convincing extrovert

considered mean: not especially, but again. probably perceived by many as being difficult to approach

fears: they are Many and Varied and most of them connect either to the collapse of the cat kingdom or the human world in its entirety

siblings: manami, sachiko (younger sisters)

parents: EXTREMELY UNKNOWN......

pet(s): three goldfish

nicknames: lune calls her sweetie in the manga and it kills me every time i remember it

gender: female

age:

date of birth: march

origin of birth: see above

race/species: cat (...not sure what breed she might be thinking emoji)

spoken languages:

romantic/sexual preference: biromantic

occupation: queen of cat kingdom

hobbies: she hasn’t really spent the time trying out hobbies just yet. has gotten a little into butterflies and moths bc lune likes them. has her eye on a number of more artistic pastimes

criminal record:

disorders: none

eye color: a very pretty blue jfjf;a

height: pretty much the same exact height as lune tbh

scars: none

birthmarks: none

overweight: no

underweight: no

favorite color: plum/wine

favorite food: nikuman, pastries

wants to get married / is married: is married! and like lune, is also very happy with the setup laughs

gotten pregnant / had a child: no

wants a child: atm, not particularly

likes children: also like lune, she has very little experience interacting with them. at least, recently. but i can not see her Disliking children so. u know

can sing: probably

play an instrument: no

can dance: some dances, yes. i like the idea that lune is casually teaching her behind the scenes lmao

gotten tattoos:

gotten piercings: no

smoked/drank/done drugs: a. again, like all of these cats have probably had some alcohol lmao

had a broken heart: s. sort of

been in love: yes

a cuddler: next to the king, she’s probably second most amenable to being pet and held, but she’s not really the type to actively seek it out

a kisser:

scared easily: not particularly, but she’s definitely more wary than lune is

jealous easily: not too much

hot/cool tempered: definitely cool

trustworthy: generally

single: no

extroverted/introverted: definitely introverted, but she’s not awkward in most social interactions. she’s more awkward now than she used to be simply bc she’s still not entirely certain what to expect with her new position and clout

considered mean: definitely not, to the point that i headcanon those who don’t know her terribly well are sometimes surprised by how remote she can come across laughs

fears: somewhat insecure in her new position, a lot of her current fears come back to being ridiculed or making a fool of herself, damaging her reputation right off the bat so that no one will ever take her seriously, or that it will bleed into lune’s reputation, too rip

siblings: none

parents: unknown, however for this blog’s canon, she did spend some time as haru’s pet in the human world

pet(s): none. she’s still kinda baffled by the idea of cats having pets in the first place lmao

natori very hesitantly but cheerily introduces her to his goldfish and she isn’t sure what to say fjfjk;ea

yuki, to lune: i didn’t know cats could have pets lune: sure! i had a pet rabbit once yuki: yuki: what

#;dash games #long post #g o d this took me forever sorry #lots of headcanons and facts :v

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illfoandillfie · 5 years

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Good Times Are Now

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Fem Reader

Summery: A picnic in the park, what could go wrong?

Warnings: mention of Rog smoking but thats it I think

Words: 1989

A/N: This is my first attempt at something fluffy so I hope it’s okay. I’m fairly aromantic irl but uhhhhh Roger’s got me dreaming about cute dates ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(Title taken from one of Roger’s solo songs cause I’ve been listening to Fun In Space a ridiculous amount this week its so good you need to check it out if you haven’t already)

Taglist: @midniightshow (since you requested the fluff, figured I’d tag you in it)

(this photo may or may not have been on my mind literally the entire time I was writing this oh my god hes so cute what the actual fuck)

You couldn’t believe how slowly the morning was going. It felt like someone had put a spell on the clock to make time creep along at a snail’s pace. Every time you looked up from your work to find that only a minute or two had passed since last time, you groaned inwardly. You knew if you focused on your work the day would go much faster, but you couldn’t help being distracted today. Not only was it Friday, your early day when you got to leave work at one o’clock, but you also had plans to meet up with your boyfriend Roger for a late lunch. He’d got back from tour two days ago and you were both still resenting having to leave each other for more than 5 minutes, especially for something as boring as your job. You’d considered calling in sick this morning and were starting to wish you had. You glanced at the clock again and sighed as you realised just how little time had passed since your last look.

The rest of your day passed as unproductively as the morning had, dragging its heels through a mess of bad coffees and unsympathetic hour hands. But finally, it was time to pack up. You knew that come Monday you would regret not getting much work done but that was a problem for future you. For now, your thoughts remained solidly on Roger and the lunch that was awaiting. You caught the bus to a small park not far from your house where Roger had told you to meet him, your heart beat picking up as you got closer. He was sitting on the rock wall that ran around the perimeter of the park, having a smoke while he waited for you. You watched as he slid off the wall and stubbed out the cigarette under his heel before coming over to greet you. Just seeing him made you feel a little giddy and, had you been able to pull it off, you would have done a heel-click-jump right there in the middle of the street. Instead you contented yourself with throwing your arms around Roger’s neck, sighing into him as you felt his arms wrap around your waist and your feet leave the floor.

“Hi,” his voice muffled against your shoulder, “missed you,” “Missed you too,” you replied with a small giggle. Neither of you were normally quite this clingy, but the tour had been your first extended time away from each other and it hadn’t been easy on you. This wasn’t his first tour and he’d tried to prepare you for the distance but even with all his warnings about how long he’d be gone for and how he wouldn’t always be able to call, and his reassurances about how he’d be thinking of you, you'd found it hard. Many a night had been spent lying awake in a bed that was too big and too empty. You felt as if you hadn’t slept properly since he left. Roger dropped you lightly to the ground again, his hands slipping from your waist. He turned to pick up something you hadn’t noticed off the wall behind him. “What cha got there, Rog?” “Thought we could have lunch in the park,” he said, indicating what you now realised was a picnic basket, as he slipped his free hand into yours and started walking. Catching sight of the slightly surprised look on your face he continued, “don’t worry, I didn’t try and bake anything myself. It’s all store bought. Not gonna poison you after I just got back.” You couldn’t help laughing as he pulled you further into the park. He clearly knew where he wanted to set up and you were more than happy to let him lead you there, your thoughts a little more focused on the food now that he was within reach again. You passed the playground where harried mothers chatted away, their kids running and yelling, and stepped off the path, winding your way between trees and bushes until, eventually, you made it to a patch of grass under a huge oak tree. It was quieter here, though you could still hear some of the kids’ louder screams. Roger passed the basket to you so he could pull out a blanket and spread it over the ground. You kicked off your shoes, kneeled down and began pulling out the basket’s contents. A few different sandwiches, some biscuits, a bottle of juice with cups from home, and two of your favourite fruit tarts from the bakery you love. Roger sat with his back to the tree. “What d’ya think?” “I think we aren’t going to finish this food on our own,” “Cheeky,” he pulled you down to sit on his lap and tilted your head up so he could lay a soft kiss on your lips. You let the kiss deepen for a moment before pulling away. “As much as I have missed kissing you Rog, I haven’t eaten all day and I’d like to get something before the ants do.” He stuck his tongue out at you. You responded in kind.

The next couple of hours were spent eating and talking. Catching up on everything that happened while you were apart that you hadn’t had a chance to talk about yet. He told you all about the tour, where they’d been and what the crowds were like and all the dumb shit they’d done to keep entertained on the bus. In return you told him all about what your family had been doing, and all the latest gossip from work. Infinitely more boring than his stories, you thought, but he hung on your every word. His hands were never far from you, resting on your knee or tracing patterns over your skin or pulling you in so he could press another kiss to your lips. As the afternoon wore on you found yourself resting your head against Roger’s chest as you both lay on the blanket, looking up at the swaying branches. He had one hand tangled in your hair, the other softly tapping out a beat over your own fingers. You could feel your eyes growing heavy as the months of erratic sleep caught up to you.

The next thing you knew was a cold drop against your forehead. You screwed your eyes shut, trying to work out whether the sensation had been part of your dream. Another drop. Definitely not part of your dream. Your eyes flew open as you sat up and took in your surroundings. The afternoon sun was covered by big black clouds that had rolled in while you napped, and you could no longer hear the kids back at the playground. “Shit,” you pushed yourself to your knees and shook Roger’s shoulder, “Rog, wake up. It’s about to start pissing down, we gotta move.” You were already bustling around picking up the discarded cups and leftover food, throwing it all into the basket as Roger stirred groggily, “wha’s hap’ning?” Before you could answer, the rain began to fall in earnest. “Oh, fuck,” You heard behind you as you picked up your discarded shoes. Roger was on his feet in seconds, hastily folding the blanket and shoving it into the basket. He grabbed your hand and you were both running. You ran as fast as you could over the grass as it got steadily more squishy, the rain picking up with every step. By the time you reached the park entrance you were out of breath and completely soaked through. Roger led you over to the bus stop you’d met him at earlier so you could huddle in what little shelter it provided. You took in his bedraggled appearance – hair sticking to his face and neck, shirt askew and clinging to his chest, a streak of mud across his cheek (though you had no idea how it got there) – and couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up in your chest. “Sorry,” you managed through the laughter, “You just look a little ridiculous.” You reached up to push his wet hair back, but it didn’t help. “You’re lucky you’re so cute,” he said with a playful push on your shoulder.

As your giggles subsided you turned to look out at the street; people hurrying from under umbrellas into buildings, a queue of cars cautiously creeping through the downpour and no end to the rain in sight. “Next bus doesn’t come for another half hour,” Roger said, peering over your shoulder to look at the timetable behind you. “Might as well just walk it, we’re already soaked and I bet it’ll stop before we’re home,” Roger didn’t look convinced. “C’mon, it’s only a few blocks,” you took his hand in yours and tried to lead him back out into the deluge, “it’s just a little rain, it’s not going to kill us.” “Says you. You’re already starting to shiver.” “Even more reason to get moving then.” This time you succeeded in pulling him out of the small shelter. You twirled yourself under his arm, relishing the way he smiled at your antics, before draping his arm around your shoulders. You were thankful for what little warmth you could share through your soaked clothing as you walked along, pressed into Roger’s side, the chill of the rain beginning to hit you.

By the time you’d reached home your teeth were chattering and you were longing to change into your warmest pjs. “What was it you said about the rain stopping before we got home?” Roger said over his shoulder as he fumbled with the keys in the door. “A-at leas-s-s-t it was f-a-a-ster than th-th-e bus-s,” “Christ Y/N. Gotta get you warmed up,” he opened the door and you both tumbled inside. Roger started pulling off his sodden shoes as you headed straight for the bathroom. You turned the shower on and let it heat up as you began removing your wet clothes. You adjusted the taps so they were as hot as you could handle without sustaining burns and stood there, letting the water run over you, gradually warming you back up. Once you’d regained feeling in your toes you stepped out of the shower, wrapped yourself in the fluffiest towel you could find and headed to your bedroom. You dug through your draws till you found the comfiest flannel pyjama pants you owned and your favourite sweater you’d stolen from Roger. It was old and stained and too big for you, but that hadn’t stopped you wearing it nearly every day Roger was away. It was by far the cosiest thing you owned. As you were pulling the sweater over your head you felt Roger’s arms wrap around your waist, pulling your back against him. He’d changed into his own dry clothes but his fingers still felt chilly against your skin. “All warmed up now?” he mumbled into your neck. “Mmhmm. You?” “Could be warmer.” He didn’t give you any time to react before he turned you round and lifted you over his shoulder. You squealed and thrashed your arms, sleeves that went past your hands waving around, as he carried you through the house to the lounge room, both of you laughing.

The rain was still coming down outside, you could hear it beating against the windows, but there was a fire burning in the fireplace and a nest of blankets and pillows on the couch. Roger lifted you back over his shoulder, lowering you to the ground before making himself comfortable on the couch. His back leaned up against the armrest and his legs stretched out over the length of the couch, giving you no choice but to curl up on his lap. Once you were in position, he threw some of the blankets over the both of you. His arms wrapped around you, inviting you to snuggle into him, and he sighed contentedly against the top of your head. “Much better.”

#roger taylor x reader #queen fic #roger taylor fic #my fic #listen #i have no fucking idea my dudes #i dont know a goddamn thing about dating #but ive been kinda soft lately cause of a dumb idiot boy i wanna kiss a lot #(he has a gf tho its whatever lmao)#and then i got caught in the rain on my way to work the other day #(it wasnt heavy #it lasted like a minute tops)#but i didnt have a cute boy to kiss so like 0/10 #and then this was all i could think about #so like have fun?#idk i hope you like it #comments are always welcome

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genderqueerpositivity · 6 years

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(1/2) re: that post you made about respecting the labels individuals choose for themselves. to some degree, i totally agree, and while i might have personal ideas about what these labels really mean and in my perfect world how we would communicate sexuality and gender, i would mostly never tell someone they were wrong to use pansexual or queer or any label like that. however, the post really implied that just about anyone could use any label they like for themselves just because they

“(2/2) feel like it. that really isn’t true, words still have meanings. as a real life homosexual i personally disagree with gay being used as an umbrella term, but i wouldn’t get mad at a bisexual for using it, we just have different opinions. but a straight person using it because they identify as demisexual or something, that’s totally different, they are straight and that just is not what that word means. there has to be a level of respect on both sides. but thank you for the positive post!!”

~~~~~

That post didn’t have a single thing to do with straight people. It was literally tagged with queer discourse, it was entirely about intracommunity issues. It was written in response to other lgbt+ people hollering hatred over Janelle Monaè coming out and identifying as bi/pan and queer.

I am so burned out on the label discourse now. As a real life queer struggling with my own labels, I am so tired. I’m not one of those “Labels are for soup cans” fuckers, but y'all make identifying as anything at all exhausting. I don’t feel like I can just *be* anymore and that greatly pisses me off.

The reason any of us uses labels is because we feel like it. We use those words to describe who we feel we are. We use those labels because they connect us to history and to each other. We use labels that exist and we create new ones. We use labels that fit well and we use labels that fit like an old hand-me-down sweater because we haven’t got better ones. And some people don’t use labels because they feel like not using them.

Personally, I think that Tumblr discourse has done an ugly fucking thing. Being public about labels was once a way of expressing pride and connecting with others and declaring our identity in the face of those who erase and deny us. Labels were tools and weapons and community. Now it feels like our identities are no longer our own, but are subject to public debate and demand.

We are all under social identity threat all the time. It comes from cisheteronormative society, yes. But it comes from within our own community just as frequently, if not moreso. We are constantly attacking our own, we are constantly defending ourselves against each other. This puts us on edge, it fuels the discourse, it drives the gatekeeping.

Every week someone asks me why I can’t just be gay or lesbian instead of genderqueer, people send me messages trying to determine if I’m a “real trans person” (dysphoric) or a “trender”. Every other day someone asks me who I believe has the right to identify as trans, all the time people are asking me who I believe counts as a real lesbian or bisexual, people are asking me who I believe belongs to “the community” and who does not.

I’m tired of having my gender and sexuality labels treated like everyone else’s decision, and I don’t want to be put in the position of declaring what other people are and aren’t allowed to identify as. I don’t want to be the fucking label police.

As far as the hets go: Just as I’ve yet to find the hetero aromantics and asexuals that the discourse tells me are apparently identifying as queer and flooding lgbt homeless shelters in droves, I highly doubt that straight demisexuals are falling over themselves to identify as gay. Why would they? Anything a straight person may gain (?) by identifying as gay will be vastly outweighed by the homophobia and potential violence they’d be opening themselves up to. It makes no logical sense.

And if, somewhere, a straight demisexual person refers to themself as gay? I don’t give a fuck. It doesn’t matter to me at all. It’s entirely possible that the straight demisexual person isn’t as straight as they may think. Maybe they’re questioning, maybe they connect with the label gay but haven’t realized they aren’t straight yet. That’s not my business. Not. My. Business.

Hell, maybe they ARE using gay as an umbrella term. I don’t give a fuck about that either. I’ve never had a choice about being lumped in under gay pride, gay rights, gay marriage, gay history, gay straight alliance, gay community, etc. Gay has a legitimate historical use as an lgbt+ umbrella term, a use that was widely encouraged by the gay community. That won’t go away over night just because it’s falling out of popularity.

Really, I am tired of the myth of the great cishet invaders. I am tired of label policing. I am tired of my identities being tied up in and policed by popular discourse.

I have always believed that we should be considerate of each other, that we should be aware of our differences in identity and experience, that we should be aware of our privileges and fight to end oppressions, that we should be open to learning and growing, that we should respect each other. I have my personal belief of what a perfect world looks like too.

It’s not a perfect world. I have no control over other people, and I don’t want control over other people, and I don’t want other people having control over me.

There has to be a level of respect on all sides–especially within the lgbtq+ communities. There isn’t.

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monsterqueers · 7 years

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Reasons why I use queer exclusively now whenever I can as my orientation:

Spite

In order to be fully accurate id have to launch into a several full paragraphs long rant every single time of really tmi shit that is under the cut and thus not suitable for like 70% of the people who would be hearing it.

Right so first off I have auto distrust for humans due to trauma and in the event that sentient entities that are nonhuman(aliens and/or monsters) would be a viable relationship choice I care not for their anything other than that they are adults and capable of consent and also willing id go for it and be ok with romo and or sex and or whatever else 100%. Like teratophile would be the best choice for a orientation label but people dont accept that as a proper orientation label or just go ‘lol straightie’ despite the fact that I cant actually be straight due to my gender being as it is(Schrodinger’s clusterfuck) And people might get the wrong idea and think my love of and hcs about charas who happen to be nonhuman and under 18 are something sexual or romantic when they are Really Really Not because my fixation on the inhuman is not inherently(or even Maybe 60%) sexual At All and more a comfort/trauma thing. Thus this Whole Fuckin Zoo.

On the romo side(from now on assuming all partners are humans), while I get about 2 day max long maybe crushes(extremely attached and want to follow forever and nuzzle and take care of idk what romo looks or feels like but I dont think thats it?) on people of any and all genders ive just met or havent seen or talked to in a long long time, if they show any interest whatsover any attraction is immediately negatived and falls into the pits of hell forever partially for trauma reasons and after the 2-ish days it falls back into a slightly intense friendship feeling things. Romantic intent squicks me out when relating to me in any capacity and makes Any sexual attraction disappear as well. But romance when not relating to me at all? Fucking Love It. So over the years ive ID-ed as quiroromantic, wtfromantic, aromantic, and lithoromantic when trying to describe this in one word and because people want to know your ‘’’’real’’’ orientation because they are under the misconception that a-spec ids are modifiers then pan? omni? Also add in the fact that im never gonna try to date cis people Anymore Ever.

Then we get into the fact that im polyamourous and in the hypothetical event I could drag myself through that clusterfuck and really date someone I absolutely cannot be in a monogamous relationship. It would be uncomfortable on many levels starting with the fact that id feel like im trapping someone in a relationship that they will never get the love they want out of it, then moving to the fact that I can and will continue to get the 2 day maybe-crushes on people and im polyam on the qpp level and will continue to find others sexually attractive and never be able to fuck the person im dating so I cannot promise monogamy in good conscience because even if I dont act on it it would be emotionally social contract violating. Also the sex side is also super polyam because being FWB and one night stands are pretty much a polyam thing.

Sexual attraction is almost 90% decided by me being a kinky jackass and -300% decided by gender. For trauma reasons Any and All interactions have to be as far removed from vanilla sex as possible if I can even maybe handle that(though most likely not bc when people irl find me attractive I tend to immediately no longer feel any attraction here too). But Im attracted to fictional charas all the fuckin time. Attraction is solely based on my list of fetishes lining up enough times on someone and Nothing Else. Like kink is 100% more important than the gender here and I am well aware that makes me a a non-respectable evil dirty queer person because I dont fit into the marketed for straights box with that and this I cant actually use that as my professed orientation. Ive IDed as lithosexual, auto/ageosexual, bisexual, pansexual, and omnisexual before and while ill still use bi or aspec when I have to choose a singular ‘non queer’ label depending on my current company but like, its not quite right.

And like saying even aromantic bisexual and polyamorous is still long as shit and requires a powerpoint and a 3 minute explanation to most people because they cant conceptualize that for some people romo and sex Do Not go hand in hand and also that people can be anything other than gay or straight on a monogamous relationship and Nothing Else.

So on top of this and that I barely(if at all) even hit the Respectable Gay criteria with bisexual only and the Straight folk are gonna be pissed off that im not conforming to the monogamous cis girl who is attracted exclusively to men and wants and does date and fuck One Man Only anyway, so I might as well just go the whole damn hog and grab that shiny label of queer that people love to spit because fuck that noise. Im not gonna be polite and im gonna choose the all option rude umbrella term thats only one syllable and needs little explanation.

#wayward rambling #rude #tmi #sex mention //#kink mention //#im a mess nothing new #ranty garbage #rebagle and u get blocked

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