#apollyonsdarksecrets
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Cold nights, red Flannel
Joel Miller X Afab!Fem!Reader
Summary: when the power goes out in your building Joel is more than happy to let you have his bed, but when his already sore back flares up in the middle of the night he’s given no choice but to share with you. Things play out differently than expected when he wakes up in the morning tangled up with you in between the sheets.
Warnings: SMUT (MDI) 18+ only, slow burn, dead child, dead people and the fire pit, cussing, age gap (reader is in their thirties), alcohol, Joel gets a ✨massage✨ thigh riding, teasing Joel, Dom!Joel, fingering, multiple orgasms, over stimulation, Joel is… big, slight breeding kink, raw p in v (wrap it before you tap it), dirty talk.
Joel Miller Master List
Word Count: you’ve read my other stories right? This is long, buckle up butter cup.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The worst jobs earn the most money, it was something you were quick to pick up on, and if you wanted to live the best, you had to do the worst.
The burn pit was busier than usual, truck after truck with what seemed like no end in sight. Everything from your hands to your feet ached, clothes covered in the grey ash irritating your lungs, and the smell was unforgiving. You’ve already added your second bandanna, the lack of clean air nearly suffocating.
“You’re slowin’ down.” The man beside you notes, Texan accent laces his words as he crosses his arms over his chest, voice gruff from being here as long as you have.
“Coming from the man who has taken a water break every thirty minutes.” You snip back, lighthearted in your accusation, looking over to find your ‘coworker’, Joel Miller, tilting his head, brown eyes glaring under salt and pepper eyebrows. He points to the truck behind you, silently telling you to get moving.
You smile even though he can’t see it and turn on your heel, heading for the last body, but your cheeky attitude slips away. You swallow thickly, eyes scanning over the hooded and bound body. They are small in stature, an old cartoon character printed on the back of their white, clean shirt. They look so out of place on the blood and mud stained truck bed.
Only a child.
Joel is quick to notice your sudden hesitation, his own small smile falling as he follows your gaze.
“I’ll get ‘em.”
“No, it’s fine.” You stomp down your emotions, scooping the kid up, to light and frail, and walk them over to the fire. You whisper a prayer, like you’ve done with every child before and toss him over the wall. Soot blows up into the air, orange and red embers dancing among the cloud and you’re forced to pry your gaze away as the flame swallows their body.
“Last one!” A driver yells, the screeching of the reverse alarm cutting through the air. Relief washes over you, closing your eyes momentarily, the day was almost done.
“Son of a bitch.” You turn then, Joel’s looking at the truck in disbelief and when your attention lands on the man in the bed your jaw physically drops open.
The man before you is a literal beast, his height alone impressive but the muscle on him makes you thankful you never ran into him when he was alive.
Had to of been some kind of enforcer.
“Hey, yo, can we like get a horse or something? This guys fucking huge!” You call out to the truck driver who only sneers before disappearing back into the cab.
“It’s fine, I’ve got it.” Joel shushes you, steeping up and dragging the guy by his thighs closer to the edge of the bed, huffing and grunting looking for the best leverage point.
You laugh slightly, steeping back. “Sure, whatever you say cowboy, he’s all yours.” You cross your arms, excited to see how this pans out as Joel tries to position the hulk. To your surprise he’s able to lift the guy onto his shoulder with a strained groan. “Oooo okay, you’ve been working out.” You let out a sharp whistle, his eyes glancing to yours as he stumbles for the fire, giving you a playful wink.
The banter is cut short with his next step though when he cries out in pain, nearly crumbling under the weight as something in his back spasms. You rush forward, grabbing onto the body, helping carry him the rest of the way and over the wall.
“Fuck!” Joel barks, face pinched as he hunches over, hand pressing into his back.
“What happened?”
“My back… I’m fine. “ He grits out between clenched teeth, sucking in a few breaths before trying to straighten up.
Someone blows a whistle, signaling the end of the day and people start to rush past you both for the pay out line, ignoring Joel’s insistent cussing.
You offer your shoulder for him to lean on but he waves away your concern, telling you he just needs a minute to collect himself before you both make your way to get your ration cards.
Instead of signing up for another shift you decide to give yourself the next two days off, hoping to sleep as much as you can before hitting the next work period hard. You walk off to the side, waiting patiently for Joel out of habit as he goes down the list, rubbing at his spine.
Being this far from the fire you realize how cold it is, the setting sun the only indication that it’s about to get colder, and you know spring is still a few months away.
You glance to Joel as he haggles with the enforcer, probably over the shortened pay. Over the last five years you and Joel have worked together on numerous jobs, and he’s never shy to insist the right pay for the services you both provide. Though at first never coordinated, you both realized how effortlessly you worked with the other, always fast and to the point with whatever resources given, both searching for the most money.
You recall noticing him when you arrived at your first job at this QZ, his hair a little less grey back then but eyes just as intense. It wasn’t until your fifth job did you say something to him after catching him watching you for the first hour of your shift at the pit.
With whatever confidence you had, you’d walked right up to him, hands on your hips and chin tilted up with a sarcastic smile. “Does my stalker have a name?”
The notion had been so wildly outlandish that after he stared at you for a minute, mouth open and eyebrows raise, he barked out a laugh. A true belly laugh that had everyone turning their heads in shock and confusion.
It was the talk of the job.
Some new girl got the old grump to laugh.
From that moment on Joel decided to stick close by, your fiery attitude attracting him just as much as your smarts. He taught you how to play the system, which officers were more lenient than others, and when he grew to trust you he began taking you on contraband runs. You picked up on the trade quickly, surprising him when you started going out on your own and Joel knew he’d chosen well.
Joel now limps over, pulling you from your thoughts. “Ya know I have this stuff that can help with that.” You state, turning and walking with him towards your apartments.
“Got some icy hot, I’ll be fine.”
“20 year old icyhot? Yeah that most definitely will do the trick.” Your sarcasm isn’t lost on him as he glares done at you. You raise your hands in surrender, walking the rest of the way in silence as the street bustles with life around you.
Parting ways at your building you watch for a moment as Joel limps along, shaking his head back and forth, a clear sign he’s talking to himself. You snort, grabbing for the door handle only to have it ripped away, your next door neighbor nearly knocking into you as she storms from the building.
“Woah, Joanne, maybe next time you can just run me over and we will call it a day.” You snap, glaring as she turns at the sound of your voice, she’s the buildings ‘manager’, a lose term for someone who takes your money and doesn’t fix a damn thing unless it involves her apartment directly.
Not much has changed since the end of the world.
“The entire building is out! I’m trying to get someone to fix it!” Her wrinkled face is red with anger, greying hair disheveled like she’d been pulling at the roots all day.
“Wait what?”
She rolls her eyes, exasperation clipping her words. “There was construction going on next door and they clipped a line or something. No lights, no heat, no fucking water to the entire building.” She turns on her heel, not bothering for what you have to say next and stomps down the road.
You throw your hands up in frustration, groaning at the sky, mentally cursing whatever was out there when a thought comes to mind. You bite your lip, weighing out your options before you are rushing down the street in search of Joel.
Luck seems to finally be on your side as you round the street corner, finding him leaning against a light post, talking to a man you recognize but can’t place with a name.
Jogging over the shaggy haired man’s eyes flicker to you, his posture becoming rigid before he quickly dismissing himself. Joel turns, expecting an officer or worse, and his expression softens as you slow to a stop beside him. “Heya Sunshine.”
When Joel decided to take you in, he made it very clear to others that ran around in the same under ground circles that you were not to be fucked with, being one of the few in his inner circle gave you a type of immunity not so sparingly given out.
“Hey… shit… my power is out.”
“Did ya forget to pay?” He’s mocking you only slightly, concern still underlining his tone.
“No, it’s the whole building, Joanne said someone must have cut a wire or something… I was wondering if maybe… we’ll I’m still covered in all this…” You hesitate, hoping he will fill in the gap as you gesture to yourself but he only stares. Joel always made you use your words. “I was wondering if I could borrow your shower, I’ll be super quick, I swear.”
Joel nods, looking down the road towards his building. “Yeah, shouldn’t be a problem, give me about an hour to soak my back first and then you can come over.” You’re washed with relief, throwing your arms around his neck in a tight hug, catching him by surprise.
“Thank you, thank you so much!” Before he can reply you’re sprinting down the street and around the corner, he stares after you blinking slowly before looking around, a blush staining his cheeks.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Having only been to Joel's apartment a handful of times, it took you longer than you would of liked to admit to find his door, and there may have been the help of an elderly man along the way.
This time though, as the door opens, Joel is on the other side. His greying hair slicked back and still damp, he’s dressed in a long sleeve shirt with matching black sweats. “Well, don’t you clean up nice.” You make a point to look him over as you step into his apartment, breathing in the warm air.
Joel only snorts. “Yeah, sure. Bathrooms that way, should still be plenty of hot water, I rigged my heater a few months back.”
You smile at that, “What a naughty boy you are, Joel Miller.” You wink following his direction, closing yourself in the bathroom.
Joel leans against his front door for a moment, appreciating this side of you that is rare to see, as much back and forth as you two give each other at work you personality blossoms when it’s just you and him. And damn was it flirtatious. Some way or another you’ve kept a spark of life through the last 20 years that has Joel hooked like an addict, even if he could never bring himself to say so.
In the bathroom you’re pulling out your bath products, setting them next to his and the contrast of them makes you laugh a little. Pinks and purples next to dull grays and blues. You have the fleeting thought to look for something special just for Joel on your next run as you twist the shower nob. The pipes groan before sputtering to life, you wait until the waters just a little to hot before undressing and stepping in. You hiss involuntarily, skin blushing under the heat before you relax.
This was the hottest shower you’d had in years and you might just have to start lying about your power being out to get more of this. You allow yourself to relax for a moment longer before you begin to wash away the day.
*~*~*~*~*~*
You emerge thirty minutes later, steam following behind you, you’re dressed in your better winter clothes, but even that’s a stretch. Your sweater hangs on your frame, three sizes to big and moth eaten, your sweatpants in much the same condition.
Joel glances up at you from his rickety table, two mix match glasses and a bottle in front of him. “Is one of those for me?” He simply pours you a shot, sliding the glass across the table as you take your seat, curling your legs up under yourself. You lift the amber liquid in cheers, Joel mimicking your actions as you down the shot. It burns your taste buds, dropping into your stomach like a lead weight.
Coughing you turn the glass over, face scrunched in disgust making Joel laugh as he pours himself another. “Can’t handle your liquor?”
“Was never much of a drinker before all of this, haven’t acquired the taste just yet.” You manage to wheeze out, rubbing at your chest where it still burns. “Thank you again, it would have really sucked to of gone to bed still covered in that shit.”
Joel stands, chair scrapping across the floorboards. “Don’t mention it. Seriously. Don’t need the whole building knowing I’m giving out free showers.” He gathers the glasses and takes them to the small sink, before opening his fridge, “How do you plan on staying warm tonight?”
“Um, probably throw on a extra layer and pray I wake up with all my toes.” You drum a rhythm on the table, watching him as he pulls a container from the fridge, grabbing two forks and walking over to you.
You attentions stays on the container as he drags his chair closer, setting it on the table. Inside is beef and rice and your stomach grumbles at the sight of it. Your eyes jump to Joel and he give you a smile, handing you a fork. “Eat.”
You know not to look a gifted horse in the mouth, splitting the container down the middle and enjoying the cold food as much as you enjoy the comfortable silence.
Joel suddenly lifts his head, sniffing the air before turning his gaze on you, stopping you mid bite to stare back.
“What?”
“Do I smell… cookies?”
Your face lights up with a grin. “Oh yeah, I was baking in the bathroom.” He doesn’t look amused and it adds to your enjoyment. “Sugar cookies, specifically. You have your contraband, and I have mine.”
Contraband consisting of feminine products you’ve scored over the last few years, keeping nearly 70 other women fairly stocked and your pockets lined.
“Where ya hiding them? Under this?” He plucks at your shirt, distaste written across his face making you laugh, a sound Joel likes a little to much.
“Wouldn’t you like to know, Miller.” You raise your eyebrows suggestively earning an eye-roll, his foot nudging your chair.
He slides you the rest of his food as he stands. “You can sleep here for tonight, I’ll take the couch.” He’s talking over his shoulder as he walks into his joined bedroom, leaving you to shovel the rest of the food into your mouth.
“Wait… your back, you should really sleep in your own bed Joel.” You can hear drawers opening and closing before a soft grunt of satisfaction as Joel finds whatever it is he is looking for. “I really don’t want to inconvenience you any further.”
“It ain’t an inconvenience, and my backs fine, the icy hot did the trick, just like I said it would.” He comes back into view carrying a very large red button down flannel, tossing to you. It’s thick, the fabric soft to the touch and smells clean with an underlying musk that’s unmistakably Joel. “That’ll keep you warm, a lot better than what you’ve got on now.”
“Really? Are you-.”
“Don’t argue with me. I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to. Okay?”
A light blush tints your cheeks, glancing up at him through your lashes with a sweet smile that has his stomach tightening. “Thank you Joel.”
“You’re welcome.” He rejoins you at the table, watching you pick at a loose thread on the shirt.
Maybe it’s the fact you don’t know much about Joel, or maybe it’s the fact that this is the very first time you’ve been alone with him, no one else in the room, no traders. Curiosity sparks and it’s a hard flame to put out.
“Do you… are there things you miss about before?”
He glanced at you, your eyes still trained on the garment. “What do you mean?”
“Well like… I use to do kickboxing, I miss that a lot… I miss going on coffee dates with my girlfriends… things like that.” You shrug, refusing to meet his gaze incase he thought this was silly, ridiculous even. You were never good at small talk.
Joel is silent for a moment longer, biting at his lip. “I miss football with my brother.”
You smile. “Tommy right? My daddy loved football, he wasn’t going anywhere on Sunday night.” You laugh softly, resting your chin on your knee. “I miss mall Chinese food, they always loaded up so much on those plates and I could never finish it.”
“That was about the only thing I liked at the mall, we didn’t go there much though. I miss my guitar, I don’t even know if I could play it now if I remembered any songs…” Joel chuckles, “I loved the SNL show, tv in general I loved to stay up at night with…” His voice fades off, fist clenched slightly out of your peripherals and though you don’t know much you know at some point during the start of everything he had lost a child.
Clearing your throat you jump to change topics. “Do you like wine?” You lock eyes with him then, his expression a little more retreated.
“I haven’t found one I’m a huge fan of, but I never turn down a glass.”
Your smile does that thing to his stomach again and he can’t stop his gaze falling to your lips for the briefest of seconds. “Well good, there’s this lady I trade with in my building and she makes wine. I’ll have to bring you a bottle one night.”
The corner of his mouth twitches up, “trying to wine and dine me, Sunshine?” A blush creeps up your cheeks turning your smile sheepish.
“Maybe, only if you pay for dinner.”
Joel scoffs, the ease returning to his features as he tilts his head to the side. Your heart hammers a little faster under his gaze. “What a cheap date you are.” He mumbles softly, resting his elbows on the table leaning his head against interlocked hands.
“The cheapest.” You breath back, mirroring his posture. He smiles warmly butterfly’s erupting under your skin giving you that giddy school girl feeling that takes your breath away and turns your brain too mush..
“I’ll look forward to it then.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
You’d only been asleep a few hours when your name reaches your ears, startling you awake. You sit up mattress squeaking under your weight as you peer into the darkness.
“J-Joel?”
His sleep riddled voice bounces back to you. “I need help.” Instantly your scrambling out of bed, flipping on a light as you round the wall to find Joel looking up at you from where he lay on the couch, red faced and defeated.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t get up… I gotta take a piss.” Joel hasn’t felt this level of embarrassment since throwing his back out working with his brother and had to be carried down to the hospital. The feeling only digging deeper as he watches your face fall padding over to him, extending your hands.
“I told you to sleep in your own bed, Joel.” You abolish gently, pulling him to his feet. His grip tightens on your arms, hissing as his back straightens out, taking the moment to get his bearings before he releases you, grumbling something under his breath and limping to the restroom.
You sigh, going to your duffle bag and rummaging through its contents before you finally come across a small bottle of chamomile and lavender.
Joel comes out a few minutes later, eyes trained on the floor. “Sorry.”
“Hey it’s okay, I tore my shoulder apart when I was in highschool and could hardly use it for a year. Had to have people help me all the time.” You try to sympathize with his situation, your expression soft and warm as his eyes find yours. “But, luck for you, I think you only pulled a muscle. And I have something to help with that.” You lift the little bottle shaking its contents.
Joel eyes it suspiciously, crossing his arms over his chest, “I ain’t taken that.”
You scoff, grabbing his bicep, pulling him towards his bed. “You don’t take it, now lay down and lift up your shirt.”
Joel turns on you, looking horrified like you’ve grown two heads all of a sudden. “Excuse me?”
“Just trust me.” You pull him again, squeezing his arm, Joel hesitates, glancing from the bed then down at himself. “I use to be a message therapist. I’ve seen a thousand naked backs, yours isn’t going to be any different.” You encourage, smiling at him as he glances your way.
Sighing Joel relents, kneels onto the bed, pulling his shirt over his head and laying down, folding his arms under his head.
Okay.
Maybe you were wrong.
Joel’s back is defined, scars littering in various stages of time, some more purple compared to others. Shaking your head you swallow your sudden nerves, kneeling beside him. You open the bottle, the smell instantly filling the room and dump it into the palm of your hand, the oil slipping between your fingers, soaking your sweats and you curse silently, setting the bottle onto the night stand.
“Tell me where it hurts the most.” You instruct, rubbing your hands together to warm the oil before placing them on Joel’s lower back, his hips twitching slightly at the sudden contact.
“A little to the right.” His skin is warm and he hums softly under your touch, shifting his shoulders and head, wishing he could see your face. “There.” You set to work, finding the knot in his muscle and kneading the area, digging your thumbs and palms into his flesh.
Joel groans, long and drawn out and a thrill works it’s way down your spine at the sound, “To much?” Your voice is softer than you initially intended it to be, much to sensual sounding.
It’s just a back rub. Nothing more, be more professional.
He shakes his head, his body relaxing fully. “You weren’t lying.” He’s muffled slightly by the pillow but you can hear his smile.
“Yeah I went to school and everything. It’s like riding a bike, you just never forget.”
“Get an A from me darlin’.” Your heart swells with his praise, staying quiet as you continue messaging his back, traveling up to his shoulders and back down to his hips, the silence interrupted occasionally by a soft grunt or groan coming from Joel.
It’s only when he goes quiet, his breath turning even and deep do you stop, whispering his name. When he doesn’t reply you ease away and into the restroom, washing your hands and shedding your oil soaked pants.
Joel’s soft snores are all that can be heard as you stand at the foot of the bed, chewing on your lower lip trying to decide what to do from here. The couch is now free, but there is only one blanket, which is now trapped under Joel. There are enough pillows to maybe set one between you both, make a little barrier of sorts…
Would Joel be mad if he woke up in the same bed as you? You shift your weight from one foot to the other, mind racing with every possible reason as to why he would be mad, before you finally take a deep breath and tiptoe to the other side.
Without giving yourself time to talk yourself out of it you climb under the covers, setting a pillow in between you, praying that Joel won’t be upset in the morning as you drift off.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Joel wakes up slowly, conciseness coming to him little by little with the early morning sun lighting the room. He’s warm, body heavy and mind sluggish from what has possibly been his best sleep in years. Selfishly he wants to hold onto it a little longer, screw whatever he thought he needed to get done today and bury himself back into his dreamless sleep.
It’s only when he shifts, his chin bumping something firm, does he feel the weight on him. Blinking slowly he lifts his head, looking down to find himself tangled up with you. Your head is resting on his shoulder, leg slung over his hip while his own is slotted between your thighs, and you’ve seemed to have lost your pants; Joel being granted a perfect view of your black panties that hide little to the imagination.
And all of the sudden he’s overly aware of you, of how soft your waist is under his callused palm, of how you still smell of sugar cookies and lavender, of the little puffs of air leaving you full lips ghosting across his neck. Then there is how his flannel has morphed to your curves, twisted around your body showing the pudge of your stomach and his blood is rushing somewhere… South.
All he can think about is how damn good you look wearing only his clothing. Joel’s heart rate picks up, his fingers drifting to your hair on their own, carding themselves through the soft strands, “Sunshine.”
You hum in your sleep, grip tightening around him as you nuzzle closer, lips brushing the column of his throat making him hold his breath as you settle again.
I’m going to hell.
It’s all he can think, his body so readily responding to you and you’re not even aware of it. You’re in your thirty’s for fucks sakes he shouldn’t even be considering this… but…
Tentatively, his grip tightens on your hair, pulling your head back so he can finally see your face. You look so peaceful, your features soft and delicate in your sleep he almost hates to ruin it. Almost.
“Honey … sweet girl wake up.” Joel’s voice is firmer, cutting into your sleep, rousing you with a small grumble.
“What…” You voice is horse, rolling your head to the side as you yawn, sleep holding on tight.
“It’s just me.” He can’t stop himself, seeing the length of your neck exposed like that, he leans down, gently kissing the delicate skin and you gasp, body tensing slightly. “Just me.” His thigh shifts up, pressing between your own and he can feel the heat radiating off of you through his sweatpants and it makes him feral.
“W-Ah… what are you doing?” You whimper, eyes pinching shut, fingers digging into his ribs as he finds that soft spot just under your ear earning another small gasp.
“Repaying you… For last night.” His grip on your hair disappears, finding your hip and rolling you onto your back. Your eyes snap open, breath trapped in your throat at the intense look of lust etched into Joel’s face. Now that you can fully see him your stomach tightens, need zipping down your spine as your eyes drink him in.
Just like his back his chest is defined, shoulders broad with a light dusting of hair that runs down to his stomach, and just past the waistband of his sweats where you can clearly see the outline of his…
You swallow audible, causing Joel to snort. Your eyes dart back to his and you swear you can feel your body melting with the fire in his gaze. He dips his face closer, bumping his nose against yours and smiles as you nervously squirm, thighs clenching around his where it still rests pressed against your mound.
“This okay?” As he speaks his lips just barely touch your own and you already feel your thoughts emptying out one by one as you nod slowly, eyes never leaving his own. “Tell me, need to hear your sweet voice.”
“Th-this is okay.”
With that he’s on you, restraint snapping as he finally kisses you, rough and hungry and desperate. Teeth, tongue and spit, forcing a moan from your throat with the intensity of it all, that Joel is all too happy to swallow up. His thigh presses in closer, your hips bucking involuntarily, dragging a moan from low in his chest.
Your hands slide up to his shoulders, gripping anything you can find for leverage as he sinks you into the mattress, drowning you in the covers, the pillows, and him.
Arousal consumes you, sparking in your stomach and traveling through your veins making you light headed, having not felt this type of high in many, many years. You grind yourself up against his thigh, your slick wetting your panties and soon creating a darker spot on his sweats.
You moan as he pulls away, attacking your neck again and pulling at your shirt, trying to expose whatever skin he can. “J-Joel… m… what’s.. what’s gotten into you?” Your losing your breath, the hand he isn’t propping himself up with traveling over your body, down your thigh, up your side, fingers sliding along the other side of your throat making goosebumps raise the hairs on your skin.
“Just want you, been wanting you since I laid eyes on you.” He admits, your face flushing with heat. “D’ya know how many times I’ve fucked my hand thinking about you? All laid out and pretty on my cock.” A filthy moan leaves your lips, grinding against his thigh to relieve the ache building between your legs.
Joel sits back, both hands finding your hips, encouraging your movements. “That’s right sweet girl, just like that.” You whine into the air, hands dropping to the bed gripping the sheets. He stares down at you, lust darkening his brown eyes as you grind against him. “Make all those pretty sounds for me, it’s just us.”
You nod, chasing after your building pleasure, breathy moans falling from your lips. Joel ruts against the back of your thigh, hands bruising your hips in the most delicious way. “J-Joel… need more… please…” Your clit throbs painfully, the angle you’re at restricting you from rubbing it how you want against his thigh.
“So greedy, go ahead play with yourself baby, wanna see you cum on my thigh before I fuck you, senseless.” Your fingers find your clit and rub harsh circles through the damp fabric of your panties, flying to that familiar peak, teetering right on the edge as you moan his name, hips frantic, but you need more, you want more.
Joel coos softly, enjoying your struggle. The pinched look, the wobble of your lips, as you search for that last little something. “I know you can do it baby, cum for me. Show me how good you can be and soak my thigh.” His words are your tipping point, sending you spiraling into that void of dark bliss as your orgasm rips through you.
The noises that leave your delicate throat consume Joel, and he’s whispering soft praises that you don’t hear, watching your legs tremble and hand still. “There it is, did so good for me baby.” You go limp underneath him, chest heaving with each shuddering breath, eyes shut and mind to far gone.
“Let me get this off of you.” He takes his time, slowing down to let you ride your bliss, undoing each button of the flannel. “Sit up.” You hardly have to, just lifting your shoulders and head before he throws the flannel across the room and you’re sunk back into the pillows.
Your panties and his sweats follow shortly after. His lips back on you, kissing between your breasts his beard scratching your skin in the most delirious way. “Joel…”
But his fingers are finding your slick heat, a groan reverberating through his chest and into yours. “So fucking wet, you liked that baby? Like getting yourself off on my thigh?” Warm embarrassment fills your belly, reigniting that fire. You nod slowly, keeping your eyes shut to avoid his intense gaze. “You getting shy on me now? Just a second ago you were fucking my leg.” He smiles against your skin watching the red tinting your cheeks grow darker, turning your away from him.
“J-Joel don’t… Don’t be mean.”
“Not bein’ mean.” Two thick fingers are suddenly sinking into you, a shrill cry retching itself from your throat. “Just given ya what ya want.” Your brain turns to mush with each pump of his fingers, hands scrambling to find any perches, a set of nails digging into his shoulder, the other tugging at the sheets. “Fuck… you’re so tight, gotta get you ready for me.”
His thumb finds your clit, working the bundle of nerves making moans echo through the room. Those thick fingers press against that gummy spot inside you that makes your hips stutter, your moans a little louder and he smiles in triumph, teeth nipping your breast watching the skin bloom with red marks. “S’that the spot?”
“Mmhmm…” it takes everything you have just to hum out an answer, mouth hanging open, thighs trembling as you’re brought back to orgasm, again. Climbing that mountain, no running it, to your tipping point.
“Can feel you squeezing my fingers baby, you gonna cum again so soon?” Joel doesn’t need your reply, even if you could give him one, your hips rocking to meet the rhythm he’s set. He doesn’t ease up, watching you come undone below him with a few more expert swipes of his thumb across your throbbing clit.
You make him feel young again, his body thrumming with pure, carnal lust. Something he hasn’t felt in years as he draws his slick coated fingers to his mouth, tasting you for what, hopefully, will be the first time of many. “Mmm… So sweet baby, I could spend hours just eating you.”
You whine pathetically, shaking your head back and forth, hair clinging to your face with sweat. “C-can’t…” Joel shakes his head, laughing darkly before tapping your cheek with the pads of his fingers.
“Look at me, Sunshine.” The timber in his voice makes you obey instinctively, finding his steady gaze. He grips your chin, fingers pressing into your cheeks making your lips pout comically. “I know you’ve got one more in ya, I need to feel your cunt squeeze my cock. Think you can do that for me? Hmm?”
Joel shifts closer as he speaks, settling himself between your shaking thighs. His cock brushes against your puffy lips drawing a small whine from the back of your throat. You nod, Joel letting go of your checks as arousal washes through you once more, almost painfully so, as he rocks forward, the underside of his cock slipping easily through your damp folds, coating himself in your cream.
He hunkers over you, forcing your legs wider and rests on one elbow as he guides his cock to your opening, nudging in. “Relax darlin’, don’t wanna hurt you.”
Before you can even comprehend what is being said Joel thrusts forward, sinking in a few inches with a grovel moan. Your toes curl, eyes squeezing shut with a whine, the stretch hurting in a way you never want to stop.
“F-fuck Joel… s-so big.” A hand slips into his hair, tugging harshly causing him to gasp, a wicked smile pulling at his lips.
“You haven’t seen nothin yet, little girl.” He pins you to the mattress with his weight, thrusting until he’s fully seated inside you, heavy balls pressed to your ass. Your pussy squeezes him tightly, pain mixing with the pleasure intoxicatingly. He’s big, bigger than any man you’d been with in years, and as he pulls out only to thrust back in, the head of his cock kisses your cervix.
“Oooooh fuuuck!” You cling to his shoulders, his neck, his back, legs locking around his middle; anywhere to pull him closer as his pace evens out, fucking into you roughly. The old bed squeaks, headboard tapping the wall and above it all are the sounds leaving your lips to mix with his.
“Feel so good baby… been dreaming about this pussy.” Joel huffs out between thrusts, pressing his forehead to yours. The farther he slips into his arousal the thicker his accent gets, words dripping onto your nerves like honey.
“Wanted you to… so long Joel .” You pant, rocking your hips to match what he’s giving you. That glorious pressure building again in your body, cunt fluttering around his cock. “Don’t stop… oh fuck please don’t stop.” You can feel every ridge and vein rubbing along your walls in just the right way, his mushroom head bullying that sweet spot making your eyes roll.
“Not gonna stop, baby. Not gonna stop.” Joel groans, one hand gripping your waist to steady himself as he bullies his cock into you.
Your fingers slip between your bodies, finding your clit with a soft moan, rubbing tight circles. “I’m… im gonna cum…” you whine against his lips, noses bumping, breathing each others air.
“Come on then… cum on my cock baby, let me feel it.” Joel knows he won’t last much longer his thrust starting to turn sloppy. “Fuck… wanna fuck you full of me, watch it drip out. You’d like that wouldn’t you? Let everyone know who fucked you so good huh?” You thighs squeeze his hips in response to far gone to acknowledge him as you topple over the edge, crying his name as the pleasure blinds you momentarily.
Joel cusses burying his face in the side of your neck, your cunt sucking him in . “Fuck baby, fuck baby, fuck!” He pulls back, cock twitching and jets of cum landing on your stomach and abused lips. He fists himself, grunting against your shoulder as he comes down, body relaxing and dopamine flowing through him.
“J-Joel…” You breath, feeling his weight more and more.
“M’ Sorry…” He whispers, rolling himself onto his back, your stiff legs dropping to the mattress. You’re both panting wildly, chests heaving and sweat coating your skin.
You blink at the ceiling slowly, the neurons in your brain starting to fire again. “Well…” A small laugh bubbles out of you, Joel lazily looking over at you confused. “I’ve never been woken up like that before.”
Joel scoffs loudly and your giggle turns into a full laugh, lifting your head to look down at yourself. “Do I at least get a rag?”
“Better, ya can come get in the shower with me.” Joel groans as he sits up, giving you his hand. “Gonna need another one of those messages after that.”
#smut#apollyonsdarksecrets#joel miller#the last of us smut#the last of us#joel miller x female reader#joel miller smut#joel miller the last of us#joel miller x reader#joel miller x y/n#Joel Miller breeding
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𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗖𝗛 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟯 𝗙𝗜𝗖 𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗦 (𝟭)
.☘︎ ݁˖ = BLACK/POC WORKS | 23' FIC REC M.LIST
HOUSE OF THE DRAGON
AEMOND TARGARYEN
A Targaryen Prince With a Heavy Burden — @vsnyarbll
DC
BATMOM
Doubts and Talks (+ Dick Grayson + Bruce Wayne) — @xoxo-mylove
CRIMINAL MINDS
EMILY PRENTISS
Unlucky Prologue ⎢ Pt. I ⎢ Pt. II ⎢ Pt. III — @navalcriminalimagines
NCIS
LEROY JETHRO GIBBS
New Girl — @slutforsilverfoxes
MONSTERS
The Stuff of Wet Nightmares ⎢ Pt. II — @angelltheninth
Dragon (Felix) — @flowersandbigteeth
MAYANS M.C.
ANGEL REYES
Handle Him — @youvebeenlivingfictional
Scary — @iamaslutforcoffee
Thot Thoughts w/ Angel — @hennyjwrites
Thank You For Cleaning My Seat — @yourwonkywriter
ATTACK ON TITAN
JEAN KIRSCHTEIN (KIRSTEIN)
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda — @spliffymae .☘︎ ݁˖
Pussy Drunk!Jean — @
10 Things I Hate About You — @robynnnhooddd
I Couldn’t Hold Back — @ackrmvvn-levi
First Kiss — @writingforcuteppl
Pussy Eating HCs (+ Eren Jaeger + Connie Springer) — @mommypieck
MCU
FRANK CASTLE/THE PUNISHER
Lessons Learned — @chellestrash
Frank and Yearning — @blackleatherjacketz
Angsty Frank Drabble — @amhrosina
Die For You — @scarlet-daisy
Just Get To Me In Time, Okay? — @thyme-in-a-bubble
Frankie Loves His Girl — @bubuslutty
La Reine de Londres (+ Billy Russo) — @bubuslutty
Hold Me Tight — @frvnkcastles
You Can Let It Go — @frvnkcastles
Valentine’s Day — @forthel0vers
Hide — @houseforwhores
The Big Bad Pineapple — @darlingshane
Melody of Tears — @frvnkcastles
Not a “Dog Person” — @forthel0vers
TRIPLE FRONTIER
BENNY MILLER
Sick Fic — @dameronscopilot
Baby Miller Series ⎢ 1 ⎢ 2 ⎢ 3 ⎢ 4 ⎢ 5 — @bullet-prooflove
FRANKIE MORALES
While We Were Young — @guess-my-next-obsession
WILL MILLER
Keeping Count — @libraryofwaterdeep
THE LAST OF US
ELLIE WILLIAMS
Dealer!Ellie — @shesluxurious
JOEL MILLER
“There Isn’t Anything That I Wouldn’t Do For You” — @dameronology
Joel x Fem!Pregnant!Reader — @forever-rogue
A Part of You, A Part of Me — @apollyonsdarksecrets
First Glimpse of Love — @valerinaswriting
To Be Alone — @cowgurrrl
STRANGER THINGS
ARGYLE
Glow — @irlganseyiii
Drabble — @munson-blurb
Under the Mistletoe with Argyle — @fanatictypist
High For This — @loveshotzz
Don’t Let Me Go Yet, Lover — @french-goodbye
EDDIE MUNSON
Control — @deepett .☘︎ ݁˖
Girls Like Me — @deepett .☘︎ ݁˖
STEVE HARRINGTON
Steve Eating You Out — @wroteclassicaly
Never Could’ve Seen You Coming — @supernovafics
Angel Eyes — @deepett .☘︎ ݁˖
STEDDIE
Part-Time Lovers — @deepett .☘︎ ݁˖
Jessie’s Girl — @deepett .☘︎ ݁˖
Kiss — @deepett .☘︎ ݁˖
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❝barbie's joel miller recs❞
⋆ key ⋆
smut: 𖥔, fluff: ♡
a/n: okay so i realized i read a lot of joel content. this is the best of the best. the creme de la creme of joel fics. this is a part two to ❝barbie's recs❞ because that rec list was being clogged by our father in christ, joel.
this is constantly being updated because i use it instead of reblogging to limit blog clutter. if you like any of the fics mentioned, def follow them... but consider giving me a like and a follow for compiling this list. ofc read their content warnings before just diving into anything, but hopefully, the key helps. ─⋆✰ liv
Albums
angsty pregnancy fic by @avenging-fandoms ♡
Belong to me by @chloeangelic 𖥔♡
Best Man by @pedge-page 𖥔
Boyfriend's dad!joel by @joelscruff 𖥔
Elementary by @guess-my-next-obsession 𖥔♡ literally my favorite joel fic of all time. i have yet to find another to top it, no offense to any other writer. it inspires me so much and i can read it over and over again.
He Tells Me by @just-some-random-blogger this joel x reader x ellie combo and the sweetest pie combo are so similar and i love it
i know it when i see it by @bageldaddy 𖥔
My Best Friend Joel by @mannaima 𖥔
pretty little wife | morning glory by @beardedjoel 𖥔
say it with your hands & put your lips close to mine by @swiftispunk 𖥔 listen... i will say i am no better than a frat boy.
stay awake by @toxicanonymity 𖥔♡
strawberry | frosting by @joelsgreys 𖥔♡ arf arf. woof woof.
sweetest pie by @fanficbarbie 𖥔♡ self plug cause i can lol but please please read? maybe.
The life you’ve always wanted by @kkcauseway 𖥔♡
Without a Warning by @chloeangelic 𖥔
Singles
A part of you, a part of me by @apollyonsdarksecrets 𖥔♡
Attraction spell by @jksprincess10 𖥔
Cup of Sugar by @strang3lov3 𖥔
Damage done by @bluebeary-jay 𖥔
✦ 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 by @psychedelic-ink 𖥔
Home by @poeticbarnes ♡ my comfort fic for obvious reasons.
in control by @talaok 𖥔
Lovers and Love. by @peterparkersnose ♡
pretty when I cry by @awesumsaus 𖥔♡
red dress (pregnant) by @toxicanonymity 𖥔♡
The Best Part of Waking Up by @atomicladytimetravel 𖥔
switching the positions by @cupofjoel 𖥔♡
toolbox by @palioom 𖥔
You're perfect, baby. by @amy172 ♡ foaming at the fucking mouth with this one
#joel x reader#joel fanfic#joel miller#joel miller fic recs#joel miller x oc#joel miller x reader#joel miller au#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfic#joel miller smut#joel miller x black!reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x original character#joel miller angst#joel miller age gap#joel miller blurb#joel miller comfort#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller drabble#joel miller fluff#joel miller hurt/comfort#joel miller imagine#joel miller kinktober#joel miller masterlist#joel miller oneshot#joel miller one shot#joel miller series#joel miller story#joel miller self insert
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A part of you, a part of me
Summary: Joel’s been down this road before, he’s seen all the signs, and he knows before you ever do that you’re pregnant.
Warning: 18+ Minors DNI. Smut, unplanned pregnancy, crying, fluff, pre-outbreak Joel. Established relationship, cream pie, pet names, cussing, pregnancy tests, just a bunch of happiness because that’s all Joel deserves in this world. 💜😭
A/n: I can’t say Joel has a breeding kink… but I can certainly say he makes me have one 😌
Joel Miller Master List
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Joel remembers everything from Sarah’s mother’s pregnancy, all of the signs that lead up to them finding out. And surely enough it was beginning to show in you.
It started one autumn morning, when he woke up to find you nestled in beside him, face pressed into his chest, snoring slightly, hair in disarray. You were the picture perfect definition of someone getting the best sleep of their lives.
The only reason it concerned his was the fact that you never slept in past 6. You were always up before Joel, making breakfast for him and Sarah and more often than not Tommy, taking Sarah to school with a sweet kiss to his lips before you’d dash off to work yourself.
Brushing the hair from your face he whispers softly, “Honey?” You grumble something unintelligible, pulling a smile from him. “Honey it’s 7:20.” You’re slow to open your eyes, hazy and still leaded with sleep as they focus in on him, his dark hair sticking up around his head like every morning, “You okay?”
“M’ just really tired… think you can take over this morning?” You whisper, reaching up and cupping his cheek, the stubble of his beard scratching your palm.
“Of course baby. You need me to call work? Want a day to relax?” You smile at his concern, knowing he’s already gearing himself to go the extra mile to make sure you start to feel better.
“That would be really nice.” He kisses your lips gently before leaving you to sleep in, and you end up sleeping most of the day away.
Joel’s quick to notice that you start to get more tired as the days progress, usually a morning person you were now sluggish and downing two cups of coffee just to stay alert, you’d stay in bed a little longer and go to sleep a little earlier.
Initially he’d chalked it up to being stress at work, you were an associate for a designer company, making all the hotels and houses around here ‘fancy looking’ as he would say. It was a big, busy job that you were very passionate about.
But then came the emotions and cravings, not anger or frustration like Sarah’s mother, but you cried, and you cried a lot. The alarm bells should of gone off when he found you one night in the kitchen after everyone had gone to bed. You were sitting at the counter crying, no you had been sobbing, and Joel feared the worst until you blubbered out that you just really, really wanted ice cream.
Him finding you like that only embarrassed you more, adding to the water works as he dragged you in for a tight hug, smoothing his hands up and down your back.
“I-I think I’m just PMSing.” You hiccuped bashfully, hiding your face against his chest as he kissed the brown of your head.
“It’s okay, we will go get some tomorrow, it’s Saturday and we can take Sarah with us to the little parlor in town.”
Two months in to your sudden changes is when it all came to a head, he wasn’t being nosy, had actually just walked into the house about to announce himself when he heard you on the phone.
“I don’t know Jenny, works been stressful, I definitely haven’t been eating right and I just don’t have the energy to go to the gym like I use to. Hell even my periods plying hide and seek with me. I thought about making a doctors appointment-“
Whatever else you say is lost on him as he stops dead in his tracks, his muscles tensing and mouth drying up. He makes his legs move, taking him around the corner and into the kitchen. You don’t notice him at first, giving him the perfect opportunity to just look at you, to really look at you.
At the sake of sounding corny… You really were glowing, face a little rounder, body filling out in different ways, curves softening under your clothing. The changes were slight, not so prominent yet, but he can see it.
His heart speeds up, emotions rolling through him like the ocean in a storm.
You are pregnant.
Walking closer he catches your attention, making you crack a wide smile that has his knees going weak. “Hey, Jenny, Joel just got home I’ll talk to you later… love you too, bye.”
Setting the phone down, you go to stand but Joel’s in front of you, dropping to his knees and capturing your hips in his hands. You let out a startled yelp, hands coming to rest on his arms squeezing gently.
“As adventurous as I am, I don’t think the kitchen is t-.”
“We need to talk.” His serious expression extinguishes your excitement, panic flashing through you instantly.
“What’s wrong? Is Sarah okay? Tommy?”
“Yes, they are fine, we need… we need to talk about you.”
“Me? Honey I’m fine, what do you mean?” Nervous laughter bubbles up in your throat, mind racing in every possible direction this conversation could go.
Joel rolls his lips together, glancing to your stomach then back to you. Your face is contorted with confusion, your grip tightening on his arms. “When… how long has it been since you’re last period?”
You scoff at his question, eyes rolling slightly as your posture relaxes. “Baby I don’t know, I haven’t been tracking it like I usually do. Between Carol and Tray calling out of work I’ve been given both of their projects to present, that’s two on top of my other two. And -.” You roll your eyes, temper rising, “and get this, two of them are so within three hours of each other, now how in the world am I supposed to-.”
“Darlin’.” Joel cuts off your rambling, one large hand shifting to your softer stomach, rubbing slow circles as he watches the confusion melt into realization and then back to panic as your eyes drop to your stomach.
“N-no… no Joel we.. we always use condoms.”
He gives you a look that says you’re lying through your teeth, which you are, there has been a few times over the past couple of months, after you’ve both had one to many drinks where you’ll wake up in the morning, slick between your thighs.
Joel watches your face pale, body shaking in his grasp and he pulls you a little closer with the hand on your hip. “How long?”
Swallowing you finally look at his face, his eyebrows furrowed slightly, expression pinched with… worry? Upset? Is he scared? Your own fears rise eyes flicking between his and something in his chest cracks open at the look on your face.
“M-maybe two months… I-I really don’t k-know.”
He nods, rubbing slow circles into your stomach, already knowing but needing to be sure. “Let’s take a trip to the store okay?”
*~*~*~*~*~*
You’re both quiet sitting on Joel’s bed, two positive pregnancy tests laying in between you. You are fighting back tears, stiff and trembling, waiting on Joel to blow up.
You’ve only been dating for three years, kids have never been a topic of discussion seeing as Joel already has Sarah, he’s been through the baby phase. Then there’s the fact you don’t officially live with him, though you’re apartment in the city is only visited when you need to do laundry. Almost every moment of the day is in this house or at work… does that me this will change everything?
“I’m… I’m so sorry Joel.” You finally whisper, fat tears rolling down your cheeks.”
“What?”
“I should… I should of been on the pill, I should of been more careful… I didn’t mean to do this to you.” The absolute devastation in your voice makes Joel move, kneeling down in front of you like earlier, this time his hands are on your waist, thumbs stroking the sides of your changing belly.
“Don’t you dare talk like that, you didn’t do anything to me. Yes I’m scared, I’m scared shitless but fuck baby… I’m over the moon.” Your watery eyes dart to his and he’s smiling, joy shining in his soft drown eyes making something inside your body relax for the first time in hours. “Now… I know-I know we didn’t plan this but I mean… This is us. This right here.” He leans forward, pressing his lips to your stomach making you giggle breathlessly. “This is a part of me and a part of you that… God it’s so wonderful and you’re so wonderful and I love you so much, I love this so much.”
Tears brim his own beautiful eyes, hands gently squeezing your sides, curling into the fabric of your tank top as he searches your tear streaked face. “You my sweet girl, are going to be the most amazing mother.”
Whatever reservations, whatever doubts you were holding onto flood from your body with the shaky breath that escapes through your trembling lips, and without thought you lean down, capturing his lips in a kiss, one that pours every little emotion you don’t know how to communicate into him.
Joel stands, lips never leaving yours and pushes you back gently onto the bed, fitting himself between your legs as the kiss slowly turns hungry. You’re burning from the inside out, tears still escaping down your cheeks, as Joel settles himself over you, mindful of his weight.
“Shhh don’t cry honey.” He breaths, lips moving down to your jaw, working the skin with sloppy kisses.
You tilt your head back, body thrumming with sudden need. “H-happy tears.” You manage to squeak out, hands tugging at his t-shirt wantonly. “Joel… I want you, please I want you.” You beg, arching your back pressing your hips up against him searching for some form of friction.
“I know baby, just relax. I’ll take good care of you.” He mumbles against your throat, a hand finding your pajama shorts and tugging them down, exposing your bare cunt to the cold air. He sits back, pulling your shorts over your ankles with a low growl. “Fuck baby, you’re so wet for me already.” Joel swipes a fingers through your folds, gathering your juices and circling your clit.
You whine into the air, closing your eyes as another pulse of arousal shoots through you, heart hammering against your ribs. “Please… Don’t tease me please.” The tears now streaming down your cheeks are out of desperation, your hands finding his belt and yanking at the worn leather.
Joel only chuckles with a shake his head, helping you unbuckle the belt and open his jeans, shoving them down far enough for his cock to spring free. You groan at the sight, letting your legs fall further open as you grab a fist full of his t-shirt pulling him to you.
“Need my cock that bad baby? Can’t wait any longer?” He groans as he runs the tip along your soaked folds, bumping your swollen bud making your hips jerk.
You shake your head, watching his cock as he slowly presses the head into your opening, your lip caught between your teeth.
“Hey,” Joel’s fingers find your chin, lifting your gaze to his and he feels like he might blow his load then and there. Your eyes simmer with pure lust… pure list and want and love and your looking up at his through your long lashes making his breath hitch in his chest. “Eyes on me when I fuck you, wanna see that pretty face when I make you cum.”
“Y-Yes sir.” You nod weakly, head resting back on the pillows as you hook your ankles around his waist.
“What a good girl you are.” He slowly thrusts in, savoring how you stretch around him, always so tight and warm. A low moan falls from your lips, legs tightening around him encouraging him to go deeper and he obeys, sinking into you completely.
You both stay still for a moment, breaths labored and hearts pounding. Joel keeps himself propped up with one hand, the other pushing your shirt up just under your breasts, finding its place on your small bump.
Joel pulls out half way before sinking back in, moaning and closing his eyes briefly as he finds his pace, deep and slow making your eyes roll and body languid below his. You can feel each bump and ridge of his cock, rubbing your walls in just the right way that your orgasm builds quickly. “So pretty, always wanted to put a baby in you, never thought I’d get the chance.” Your pussy squeezes around him your soft whimpers follow. “Yeah? You like that?”
“F-fuck… yes Joel… yes.” Your grip tightens on his shirt, anchoring yourself to him as pressure begins to build in the base of your spine.
His voice drops, the timbre in his drawl making your blood thick in your veins, head heavy and empty. “Just gonna have ta’ keep you pregnant then, barefoot in ma kitchen, swollen with all my babies.” Joel’s thrusts speed up, his mental image of you driving him closer and closer to his own orgasm. “I need to feel you cum for me, cum on my cock baby.”
His fingers find your swollen clit, rubbing tight circles and you nearly scream, the pressure radiating out into your abdomen pulling your muscles tight. You nod feverishly, panting out some form of yess and please, teetering on the cusp of oblivion, just for him.
Joel groans, eyebrows drawn together and thrusts turning sloppy, he can feel your pussy spasming around him and he knows he won’t last much longer.
“Let it go baby, let it happen, cum on my dick like the good girl you are.”
And it snaps, the tension flooding from your body as your orgasm erupts, a silent scream forming your lips into that perfect O shape that Joel loves so much, and as your cunt clenches down on him he stills, rope after rope of thick cum painting your quivering walls. He moans loud and deep, a shudder raking through his body as his eyes close and he basks in the euphoria washing through him.
Your legs shake around his twitching hips, whining pitchy and out of breath and Joel finally moves his fingers from your sensitive clit, splaying his hand across your stomach.
“You’re gonna be such a good mama.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
You both wait until after your first doctors appointment to tell Sarah and Tommy, over a lovely family meal.
“This is so good.” Sarah mumbles out around a mouth full of homemade lasagna making everyone laugh.
“Thank you, it’s my mamas recipe.” Joel’s eyes lock with yours, a smile tugging at his lips as your heart pounds in your ears, ready to spill the beans like you’ve planted. “I hope one day I can pass it on to you and your little sibling.”
It takes Sarah a minute, but Tommy stops eating immediately, his eyes growing wide, head wiping up to look between you and his brother, the smile that spreads across his face makes your heart warm.
“Ooo I’d love to try and cook it with you some time, I like learning new…” The realization dawns on her then, her jaw dropping open, shock taking over her expression and Joel can’t help but laugh.
“Really?” Sarah turns to you, and you’re already nodding, tears filling your eyes at the same time hers do. “I’m going to be a sister?”
“Oh honey…” She’s out of her chair and crashing into your open arms in an instant, crying against your chest as you bury your face into her curls, holding on tightly.
Tommy embraces Joel, patting his back roughly as Joel beams, watching his two girls over Tommy’s shoulder. This moment, this instances is all he’s ever dreamt of.
#joel miller x female reader#joel miller#smut#the last of us#joel miller the last of us#joel miller x reader#joel miller x y/n#apollyonsdarksecrets#pedro pascal#joel miller smut#the last of us smut#Joel Miller breeding#pregnancy#happy
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Alpha!Billy Hargrove X Omega!AFAB!Reader
Summary: It was hard to pretend that everything could just go back to normal once your best friend present as an Alpha and you knew you were doomed to become a Beta. But can one night change it all?
Warnings: SMUT MDNI 18 + Only. Language, talk of eating, bad mother figure, smoking depicted, friends to lovers, slight angst, crying, kissing. Omegaverse themes including: scent, heats, ruts, knotting, breeding, mating
A/N: I have never written anything like this before but I love to read Omegaverse (guilty pleasure) please don’t hate me but constructive criticism is always welcome. 🧡💜
Stranger Things Master list
*~*~*~*~*~*
Something about today as you woke up just felt wrong. The sun lit the room through your window, bathing everything in its golden rays. You blink wearily against the light, pulling your baby blue comforter around your shoulders, something deep in your gut is begging to stay, to avoid the day like it and everyone in it didn’t exist; but the yelling from down stairs won’t allow it. So with no other choice you throw the covers to the foot of your bed and shuffle to your closet.
“Well about damn time.” You amble into the kitchen, meet not only with the sour look on your mother’s face but the almost permanent ring of smoke circling her head. Ignoring her you head straight for the fridge. The hinges creak, the small bulb illuminating the nearly empty shelves as you snatch up the brown paper bag.
“Listen, Jerry is taking me out later so I’m not gonna be home, fend for yourself. ” Her scratchy voice irritates you further, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
Who? Jerry? Have I met him?
“Okay.” You glance at her briefly, bright pink curlers standing out amongst her greying hair, her attention fixed on the newspaper and Virginia Slims in her hand. The hard lines around her lips have turned her face into a scowl, and you briefly wonder when the last time you saw her smile was.
A horn blares outside in a short pattern, giving you your cue to leave. You force yourself to hurry to the door flinging your pack over your shoulder and shoving your feet into your shoes.
The late summer sun has already started baking the little town, the dew on the grass chilling your ankles as you make your way to the blue Camaro. Music rattles the windows as the driver drums to the beat on the steering wheel. You can faintly make out his head bobbing, blond curls swaying with the movement.
You pull the door open and flop in ungraciously, letting your head fall back against the leather seat with a groan. “Well good morning to you too, sunshine.” Billy laughs from beside you as he starts to reverse out of your drive way, an unlit cigarette hanging from between his lips.
“Nothin’ good about it.” You mumble, only loud enough for him to hear over his music.
He glances at you fully, focusing on the bags under your eyes, how your skin is slightly paler than usual. You’re dressed simply in an old black shirt with your favorite jeans, the jeans you almost always wear because you’ve ‘broken them in just right’.
“You feeling okay?” Billy flicks off his music as he peels off down the backroad towards school, the long way.
You let your head lull to the side, managing a small smirk at the fact that you two had unknowingly coordinated your outfits, yet again. Though he fills his shirt out more, the arms tight on his biceps just how he likes, the bottom tucked into his jeans military style. “I don’t know. I just feel… weird.” You make a face, focusing back on the road watching the green trees zip by. The leaves are starting to brown, a result of being at the highest point of summer.
Billy pulls his own face, propping his elbow on the door, he pulls the cigarette from his mouth, twirling it between his fingers. “Weird how? Like sick weird, throw up weird, period weird-.”
You groan again cutting him off, rubbing a hand over your eyes. “Just weird. I just want to go back to bed.”
“Wanna play hooky?” It’s a genuine question and you like the idea of it, a lot, but you shake your head.
“No. It’s the day before break and if they find out you’re skipping again you’ll get a detention.” Billy rolls his eyes, but doesn’t argue because he knows you’re right.
The rest of the ride is comfortably silent, letting you doze off for a few more precious moments before the engine dying startles you awake. You sit up straighter, running your fingers through your hair as you glance around, suddenly catching Billy’s unwavering stare.
“What’s that smell?”
A look of horror crosses your features, suddenly grabbing your shirt to bring to your nose. “What smell? I smell?”
“No, no, no. like… did you get a new perfume?” You shake your head slowly, watching him try to piece together in his head what it could be. “It smells good, like really good.” But he can’t put his finger on what exactly it is, so he leans closer, sniffing the air around you.
“God you’re weird.” You laugh, smushing his face with your palm as you push him away. You grab your bag as he mutters under his breath, reaching behind the seat for his own. You both step out onto the gravel parking lot, other student milling about making their way towards either the high school or the middle school next door. You start to walk off, expecting Billy to follow only to have your arm tugged back, stopping you in your tracks.
“Hey, wait.” Billy looms over you slightly, making you crane your neck to keep eye contact. You still weren’t entirely use to that new aspect. “Why don’t you come over tonight? We really haven’t hung out outside of school since…” He trails off, looking at you hopefully and you feel your muscles tighten, prepared to give an excuse.
It’s been months since Billy presented as an Alpha, months since everything between the two of you had suddenly shifted. On top of the ego and hot attitude he already possessed, people suddenly expected more of him, respected him like they hadn’t before. An Alpha in a town run by Betas.
Coming from a family of all Betas, watching your best friend become suddenly so… important made your insides tent with green jealousy. As happy as you wanted to be for him you felt yourself pull away, not wanting to stand in his shadow.
“I don’t-.”
“Look, it’s still me, Y/n. It’s still just Billy. We can grab dinner, watch movies, I’ll even do those stupid mud masks if you want just… just come over.” Please. Billy was never one to beg, but for you he made an exception. He had a soft side he kept behind mean words and cruel actions, and only you were privy to it.
Sighing you glance at the ground, analyzing the different sized rocks and tuffs of grass that managed to grow between them. The yellow dandelions turning their faces to the sky. “Okay… I’ll think about it.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
By lunch time you’ve progressively gotten worse, your body on autopilot as you move at a snails pace from class to class. Even most of your teachers have noticed, their honor student with her tired eyes, deciding to keep their questions for the rest of the class as you struggle to keep up. Currently you sit slumped over your food, your head in your hands, eyes closed and focusing on your breathing.
In your head you’re over thinking everything it could be, from the mild to the extreme. The flu to an aneurism, a common cold to a heart attack. Your paranoia latching on and prying deep. It’s only when you feel a presence creep up on you, no his presence, does something in your chest relax, letting your body shake off the unease.
“Hey, dolly.” Billy’s voice is warm and heavy when he drops into the seat beside yours, throwing an arm around your shoulders and dragging you into his side. The smell of his cologne is almost overwhelming, and it’s different, not the usual one he wears or the one you gifted him for his birthday. Pine, and leaves, and rain but something underneath that is entirely him.
“Hey.” You lean into his touch, your muscles relaxing and a soft sigh slipping past your lips. You don’t bother opening your eyes, just pressing your cheek into his chest, breathing him in.
Billy watches you, the soft lines in your face, the curve of your lips. Something in his brain demands to protect, the impulse so raw that it takes him by surprise. He tightens his grip on you, little to your notice.
“Still not feeling good?” You only shake your head in response. “Still thinking about coming over later?”
Yes.
It’s all you have been able to think about. It wasn’t like you had never spent the night with Billy before, either at his place or your own. That wasn’t what was bothering you.
You’d just never been alone with an Alpha. You’ve only meet three in Hawkins, the chief being one of them, and the other two married and mated. You’d heard the rumors that young Alphas were far more aggressive, unable to restrain themselves if their instincts took over, it was preached in every health class.
But what if he’s right? What if you’re just over reacting?
“Yeah, I’ll come over… but only if we go to Bennys tonight.”
Billy chuckles, and it’s a deep noise against your ear. “You drive a hard bargain.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
Billy had made good on his promise.
He took you straight from school to the Family Video in town, letting you pick out whatever you wanted with the promise that it wasn’t going to be sad.
Then it was on to the little five and dine, Bennys, the one that has your favorite pancakes and fruit salad. He blared the mix tape you had made months ago, despite your groaning, feeling accomplished when he caught you nodding along.
The house is empty and dark, Billy explaining that Neil had taken Max and Susan off somewhere for the week, as the two of you bring in everything from the car. He flicks on the lights as you drop onto the couch, rubbing your clammy palms against the front of your jeans.
Billy hums softly as he walks around the small living room, setting down the movies and food on the low coffee table. He glances over at you, your face pinched, lip caught between your teeth, and leg bouncing a mile a minute.
“Dolly.” Your eyes snap to his, a little wide at the curt clip of his tone. Billy stops in front of you, holding out his hand, watching as you shakily take it, pulling yourself to your feet.
“I think I should go home, really I just feel-.”
“Weird. I know.” He ducks his head slightly, searching your face with sympathetic eyes, “But we’re gonna get it figured out. I want you to go grab a shirt from my closet, get on something comfortable and come back in here.”
His expression leaves no room for argument, so you do as you’re told. His room is lit only by the small desk lamp, but you know you could find your way around in total darkness. Billy always leaves your favorite shirt in the same place in the closet, the stained grey one that reaches the middle of your thighs and hangs loosely about your frame. Leaving your jeans and shoes pooled by the foot of his bed, you steal a look at yourself in his mirror and cringe. You look as tired as you feel, shoulders slumped, ghostly complexion like you’d never seen the sun before.
You turn away with a disgruntled grunt. When you come back out the living room is dark again, the tv and kitchen light your only guide as you pad across the burnt orange carpet. You step around the couch, avoiding the gym equipment laying against the wall so as to not stub your toes like you are prone to do when you are over.
Billy’s dumped fresh popcorn into a giant blue bowl, a snack he knows you can never resist, as he meets you in the arch way. He smiles down at you as he passes the dish over and turns you back towards the couch. Throw blankets are pulled out over the cushions and the tape is already playing through the advertisements. Your meals are set up on your respective ends of the table and you feel something in your heart tighten painfully.
“See, just like old times.”
And he was right.
The night crept away filled with laughter, food, and cheesy horror movies that had you groaning more than trembling. Half way through the first one you’re both complaining about the terrible quality and laughing at the others jokes. Half way through the second you’re throwing popcorn into the air to see who can catch the most while gossiping about the latest ‘Small Town Scandal’.
By the end of the third you’re curled into Billy’s side, his long legs stretched out in front of him as you struggle to keep your eyes open. He’s warm with his arm tucked around your shoulders, and his heart beat is steady against your ear. It lulls you in and out of sleep as the credits begin to roll.
“Billy…” You whisper, poking him in the side with your finger.
“Hmm?”
“Movie’s over.”
He groans and starts to sit up, helping you with a hand on your back. “Next time I pick the movies.” You both sluggishly move to his room, crawling under the grey covers of his full sized bed.
“Told you.” He mumbles, sleep making his voice deep and gravelly. “Right as rain.” You only give a small grunt though a smile pulls at your lips as you nestle under the covers, surrendering easily to the peaceful sleep that over comes you.
For a few hours at least.
*~*~*~*~*~*
You don’t know exactly how you ended up here, but here you are, curled in on yourself on the cold tile of Billy’s ugly green bathroom going into heat.
A heat you aren’t supposed to be having.
Tears steadily stream over your pink painted cheeks as you hug the side of the bathtub, another burning cramp sending a rush of pain through every nerve in your body.
It’s as if someone has doused you gasoline and struck a match. Your body burns from the inside out with an intensity you’d never felt before, the cramps in your lower stomach hurling you into the fetal position as the continue to seize your body. But above it all was the ache between your thighs. Your sex pulsed and squeezed, fogging your thoughts through the waves of arousal soaking your panties and dripping down the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.
Why is there so much?
You desperately try to think about anything you’ve learned over the years about Omegas and their heats, but all you can focus on is the ache in your body. What good are you as a straight A student if you can’t remember a simple health class?
You groan, pitchy and breathless, trying to muffle the noise by biting into your lip. Subconsciously, you’re praying that something, anything, anyone, would save you from this hell as you sob harder, another cramp slicing through your abdomen.
“Y/n?” Billy’s voice floats through the wooden door and you freeze, even the tremors in your muscles stop momentarily. You don’t dare make a sound, don’t even breath as you wait, hoping it’s your imagination until the white door rattles under his knuckles. “Sweetheart? I’m coming in…”
Your head snaps up, eyes landing on the unlocked brass handle and you nearly slip on the small rug in your efforts to get up. A fresh wave of pain seizes your body with a whine as the door swings open.
The low amber light illuminates him against the dark hallway, his curly hair tussled from sleep, pressed down on one side. He’s only wearing those annoyingly short gym shorts, his bronze skin and large frame on display. His chest is rising and falling quickly, like he’d just ran miles to get here.
Billy had woken to that same scent from earlier pelting his senses, stronger, and all fully feminine. Lavender and vanilla and lilac but earthy and natural and purely his. It covered his sheets and comforter and filled his room. He followed it straight to the bathroom, his wolf guiding him more than himself and now he’s entranced, bewitched even as he stares down at you.
Your cheeks are wet, hair teased like you’d been pulling on it. The shirt you are wearing is soaked with cold sweat, and he can smell your slick, making his mouth water.
A deep rumbling growl escapes from his chest before he can even register it’s happening, pulling a submissive whimper from you as you drop onto the edge of the tub, staring wide eyed like a lost puppy. He takes a step closer and you flinch involuntarily, embarrassed and horrified this was all happening right here, right in front of him as your wrap your arms around your center.
“I… I need to go home, Billy.” Your voice is uneven and octaves higher, your chest constricting with each painful breath as your watery eyes drop away from his smoldering gaze. Billy couches down in front of you on the shaggy bath mat, wrapping a large palm around the back of your calf. He gives the tense muscle a firm squeeze, trying to ground you in anyway he can as you whimper and squirm, his presence worsening the pain.
This is what Alphas do to Omegas, unknowingly spur this heat into overdrive.
Billy takes a steadying breath, licking his lips, and searches your tear streaked face. “You’re in heat, little Omega…” It’s like his words amplify everything by ten and your suddenly teetering on the edge of the tub, your hands flying out for support as a wave of pain makes you cry out.
Your palms land on his chest as you finally drag your gaze to his, his blue irises hooded with that animalistic need, mirroring your own. “I don’t… understand… why?” You pant, his scent intoxicating making you lean in, unable to get enough.
Billy only shakes his head, pressing in closer, spreading your knees around his waist as his hand travels up to your thigh. “You’re presenting, it’s going to be okay.” Billy’s other hand finds your hip, and it takes every last bit of concentration you have to focus on him as your sex pulses with need, demanding attention.
“I don’t… I don’t know what to do… it hurts so bad…” Your voice breaks, shaking harshly as your hands slip up to the back of his neck, pulling him closer without a thought because he feels so good, so right against your skin as his width presses your thighs farther apart. Billy doesn’t stop you either, his eyes fluttering at the feeling of your fingers tangling into the hair at the back of his neck. Your scent is over powering at this proximity, his grip tightening on your body to control himself.
He coos lightly, his eyes dropping to your lips, specifically your plump lower one now darkening as a bruise forms in the shape of your teeth. “I know baby, I’m here, I’m going to help you.”
“How?” You croak, the uncertainty in your voice stabbing Billy in the chest.
“You trust me right?” He drops his voice to a whisper, his body flush with your own, hands slowly skimming up your body to rest against your neck. You swallow thickly, before nodding. Billy leans forward, closing off that last little bit of distance with a testing kiss.
Need shoots through you, stronger that ever and you respond hungrily. Your arms slip fully around his neck, sliding off of the tub with a desperate moan. Instinct takes over, your submissiveness showing as you open yourself to him, Billy’s tongue licking into your mouth as the kiss turns more wild.
Billy stands, holding you easily with two large hands cupping your ass, as he turns heading for the door. Your legs wrap around his waist, humming into the kiss as he bumps into a wall, his steps uneven as he makes his way into his bedroom.
You gasp for breath as he lowers you both onto the bed, his weight warm and welcoming. “Pretty Omega, my sweet girl.” His lips tickle your ear as he leans in, his hands fisting the blankets by your head as he starts to leave the bed. You whine loudly, your legs locking around his hips forcefully. Billy chuckles, a deep sound that makes your back bow up. “Gotta let go, let me up honey.”
“Please…” You beg, “Don’t leave me, Alpha.” It is the first time you have ever used his new title, his pounding heart going into double time. He shifts his weight, cupping your face with one hand, as your squirm. You desperately try to rut your hips against his, the feeling of having him so close but not close enough making your chest constrict and your head spin.
Somewhere in the back of your lust addled brain you knows you should be embarrassed, your desperation turning you into someone you’re not. But the new beast prowling under your skin refuses to let that happen. She knows just what she wants and will have it.
“I’m right here baby, but you’ve got to let me help you. You can do that, can’t you?” Billy’s words are laced with a calming purr, thumb swiping carefully over your lips, catching on the bottom one and pulling it down slightly. Only when you nod, your limbs relaxing around him, does he let it go with a soft plop. “Good girl.”
He doesn’t bother with formalities, instead gripping the collar of the old t-shirt in both hands and tugging. He rips the worn material down the center, making you yelp in surprise. He’s more forgiving with your panties, fingers dipping below the elastic as he tugs them down your legs. The pale purple cotton is drenched with your slick, turning the color a dark shade that makes him moan at the sight. Billy tosses them over his shoulder carelessly, fixing his attention on your trembling body laid out before him.
“You’re so wet, just fucking drenched.” You jump and moan as he swipes a finger through your puffy lips, watching as your cunt squeezes around air. He wasn’t lying when he said you were drenched, your slick glistening off of your thighs, slipping down the curve of your ass to his bedsheets. The sight alone is enough to have him throbbing painfully in the confines of his shorts.
He can’t help himself as he starts to play with your pussy, barely dipping his long fingers between your lips before dragging them up to your clit. He circles the bud slowly, watching in awe as you respond so eagerly, head thrown back loud moans filling the space around you. You cry an abundance of pleas, his name mixed with any other words you can manage to string together. Your hips rock to take his fingers deeper each time he circles your opening, face scrunched with a mixture of pleasure and pain.
Finally pulling himself away from your body, Billy nearly shreds his shorts in his haste to get rid of them. His cock springs free with a groan, his eyes squeezing shut momentarily as his head drops back. It’s pulsing and uncomfortably hard, beads of milky precum roll down his thick shaft, catching in the corse blond hair at the base.
“Look at me, Omega.” His demand washes over you, compelling you the only way and Alpha can, to do as your told. You lift your head, dazed eyes settling on his handsome face. His kiss swollen lips are parted slightly, eyes wild with need as his gaze consumes you. You never felt more exposed and yet safe at the same time.
Then your eyes flicker lower.
You let loss a wavering moan, fingers curling into the covers as you openly stare. Billy smiles, enjoying the way you follow his hand as he wraps it around himself, pumping his shaft slowly. He’s big, bigger than you would of imagined him to be. His fingers barely wrapping around his girth and if you want to be honest with yourself it’s intimidating.
“Billy… I’ve never…” He climbs onto the bed between your thighs, rough hands slipping down your skin, squeezing the supple fat under his fingertips.
“It’s okay, let me take care of you.” Billy leans down, capturing your lips in a slow, distracting kiss. Your eyes fall shut, arms slipping around his shoulders as he slowly aligned himself with your entrance. He presses forward and you gasp against his lips. The thick mushroom head squeezes in with a soft pop, breaching your walls and already making you feel so full and empty all at once.
Billy’s hand makes it’s way down to your thigh, lifting your leg and spreading you open as he drives his hips forward. He moans loudly, pressing his forehead against yours as he stills, a little under halfway inside you. “Takin’ me-fuck- you’re takin’ me so well.”
Your nails are digging into his skin, leaving big red lines in their wake as you try to hold onto something. You’d feel bad under normal circumstances if it didn’t seem like he was enjoying it so much. Billy’s lips find your neck, nuzzling the underside of your jaw, and trailing down to your shoulder. He’s breathing you in between sloppy kisses, your scent somehow sweeter than before.
“Please… please Billy.” Your leg hooks around his hips to encourage him to move and with one finally thrust he bottoms out into your spasming cunt. Your head presses back into the mattress, a low moan rattling out of your chest as the feeling of it all washes over you. You’re stuffed full, his weight bearing down on you, but for the first time in hours you feel a sense of calm settle into your bones. You were made for him, made just for this.
Billy lifts his head, your eyes catching in the dim light, and he gives you a lopsided smile. He pulls nearly completely out before filling you up again. You cry out his name, voice cracking on the syllables.
“That’s right baby, just like that.” Your walls flutter around his cock, his thrusts evening out as he finds his pace. Your hips rock to meet his, soft noises falling from your lips to accompany the harsh moans leaving him. The head of his cock is kissing your cervix, bringing in an entirely different kind of pain with the pleasure.
“Alpha… please… gonna cum!” Your fingers find his hair, tugging harshly as your body shakes harder. Billy slips his hand between your bodies, rubbing tight circles against your throbbing clit. You scream as your orgasm washes over your body so quickly it leaves you dizzy, your release gushing and coating his cock.
“Fuuuuck.” He squeezes his eyes shut, teeth bared as he fucks you through it. Your cunt trying to milk his own from him as he picks up his pace. You sob loudly, tears rolling down your temples as your hands slip to his sides, urging him not to stop.
“Please… Alpha… I uhh-.”
He slams into you, the sound of skin against skin filling the room. “You’re so pretty on my cock, I just want to keep you here. Fuck your like this for the rest of my life.” His hand skims up to your abdomen, he presses down ever so slightly and you gasp, hips bucking at the sudden pressure. “This pussy was made just for that wasn’t it? Made just for me.”
Billy pulls out at a maddeningly slow drag, your cunt fighting to keep him in as he rubs along every right spot, making pleasure bloom at the base of your spine and radiate outwards. Only the tip of his cock rests between your folds, anticipation and excitement humming adding to the trembling of your limbs.
“Tell me baby.” Billy mumbles, cupping the back of your neck, squeezing and lifting you up from the mattress slightly. Your eyes lazily slide open, a languid smile spreading across your face that makes him falter. His heart suddenly beats impossibly faster, all of his thoughts flying from his brain except one.
This girl is mine.
“S-so good, ba-baby… d-don’t stop.” You stutter out between chattering teeth, hips rocking up taking him a few centimeters deeper.
Billy growls lowly pushing in all the way before pulling back out, he falls forward, bending you nearly in half as he cages you in. His mouth finds yours, sloppy and clashing teeth as his hips piston against yours, driving himself impossibly deeper as you cry and moan for him.
“You feel so fucking good,” He pants, lips skimming along your cheek, past your slack jaw and to your throat, nuzzling the delicate area where he can see your pulse pounding. “Always knew you’d feel this good.”
“B-Billy… Billy I’m gonna…” With each thrust your orgasm draws closer, pushing you to the limits of your pleasure, head tossed back and toes curling as you cling to him. Your cunt squeezes around him, pulsing rhythmically, letting him know you’re close.
“I’m gonna come Y/n, I’m gonna fuck you full of me and you’re going to take it all, are you? Gonna let me breed you, baby?” Billy isn’t graced with a reply, instead your body draws taught against his as you scream his name. Your orgasm rushes over you, washing any sense from your brain as your hips buck against his, and it’s his undoing.
Billy bottoms out, rope after rope of thick cum spilling into your spasming pussy, his knot swelling and locking you in place as he ruts into you. You can feel each pulse, and twitch, his spend filling you and sedating that insatiable need for the time being. Your body relaxes into his, that smile never leaving your lips.
“My Omega.” He whispers against your skin, teeth dragging and scratching your skin as he fights himself, his wolf demanding to lay its claim. “I need you.” He breaths, sinking his teeth into your flesh.
*~*~*~*~*~*
By the time morning seeps in through the blinds, neither of you have slept. Currently your laid out on his chest, the sheet draped over your backside as his seed fills your cunt. Billy’s hand is imbedded in your hair, the other on your hip, gripping you to him as he moans into the air.
It takes several minutes, and by the time his grip slackens there’s a small bulge in your abdomen. You’re blinking lazily, the haze of the night slowly clearing itself from your mind. “Billy?”
“Yes, baby?” His heart beat is evening out, the rhythmic thump seeping into your body.
You swallow, lifting your head and resting your chin on his chest. His eyes are closed, head tilted back relaxed against the pillows. His palm rubs up and down your side, gentle and calm.
Sometime during the night, between lust filled spurts of need, you had felt the mark. Your fingers had traced over the raised indents his teeth had left, several times. The realization that you were mated to your best friend hitting you like a crushing pile of bricks, and yet…
“We’re mated.” You whisper, feeling his chest stutter slightly. He clears his throat, the hand in your hair twitching slightly.
“I should of asked you. I’m sorry.” His voice holds a note of something you can’t place, his eyes are still closed, refusing to look at you. You sit up slowly, his knot still firmly in place, moaning a little at the feeling. That grabs his attention. Billy’s gaze snags on your face, where he finds your softly smile and gentle eyes.
“There are worse people to be mated with, I suppose.” Billy smiles, his hands resting on your hips, his grip firm and comforting.
“Definitely, could of been Danny.” You shudder at the thought of Billy’s little minion of a friend and he laughs loudly. “Come’er.” You happily oblige, kissing him slowly, pouring yourself into him as he does the same. Everything falling into the perfect rhythm.
There are definitely worse ways to find your forever.
#smut#apollyonsdarksecrets#stranger things smut#billy stranger things#billy hargrove#billy hargove x reader#billy hargrove x f!reader#billy hargrove smut#alpha!billy hargrove x omega!reader#omegaverse#alpha x omega
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The Contract
Aaron Hotchner X F!Reader
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven
Summery: She’s reserved, emotionally cut off, and spiraling down a dark path; one she can’t get out of on her own. Aaron Hotchner may be her only help, but at what cost? When he shows up to her hotel room, contact in hand, she realizes it may be more than what she bargained for.
Over All Warnings: 18 + Only, MDNI, SMUT. Language, typical CM violence, childhood trauma, abusive(mentally) father figure, does not line up with a specific time line, flip flops between 3rd and 2nd POV, so use of Y/n. BDSM Dynamics, contract, Dom! Aaron Hotchner, Sub! Reader, emotional detachment, reader is not good at taking care of herself, Age gap (Reader 25 Arron 40), explicit Smut detailed in chapters. This is a series 😅
A/N: listen y’all, Aaron Hot Hotchner has had me in a choke hold, I wish, since the moment I laid eyes on him. It’s only fitting he gets some love.
15 Years Ago
Her hands sting with little paint splinters, their jagged edges imbedding deeper each time her fists connect with the door. She gasps around another harsh sob, her eyes squeezed shut against the blinding darkness surrounding her. “Please daddy! Let me out!” She begs desperately, her small voice cracking. The door violently rattles back with a deafening crack, making her stumble back. She falls into the sink, clutching at its porcelain surface to stop herself.
“Shut the fuck up!” Her father’s guttural voice fills the confined space of the restroom, “The longer you cry the longer you’ll stay in there!” His words are slurred from the deers he’d had with his dinner, combined with the six he’d consumed during the day.
“Please daddy, I-I’m sorry.”
The only reply is the vibration of his heavy boots as he storms down the hall, shaking the old house. She presses her hand to her mouth, muffling her cries as she dares a peek at her surroundings. A pitch black void greets her, no light to be seen, not even from the bottom of the door. Blindly she feels around, the sink to her right, the rusted toilet to her left. Sinking to her knees she wedges herself in the space between them, pulling her legs to her chest and wrapping thin arms around them.
She rests her head against the column of the sink, every small noise making her jump and squirm, her young imagination running wild. Hot tears cascade down her cheeks, getting caught in the hairs stuck to her face before sliding down her throat, finally drenching the neck of her night gown.
5 Years Ago
“Congratulations! You have worked extremely hard to get here, and I can see great potential in your future working here with the FBI.” The Superintendent, a short stocky man, who’s suit is a size too big, holds out his hand to the woman across from him. She’s schooled her features into a mask of calm and restraint. She shakes his hand firmly, quick and to the point.
“Thank you, sir. This is an opportunity of a life time for me, I do not wish to squander it.” Just barely, if he had blinked he would have missed it, does her lips twitch up at the corners. She’s dressed very plainly, black blouse with grey dress pants. The nicest clothing she owns in her sparse closet.
“You’ll be stationed close to home, for now. With high marks such as yours though, I can’t see you staying long should you request a transfer.” Turning the older man retrieves a small black badge book from his mahogany desk, her eyes trained on his movements with restrained elation. “Your credentials, Agent Smit.”
2 Years Ago
Jennifer Jareau, or JJ as she requested to be called, brings the young woman into the heart of the Quantico department. Her eyes are bright, turning slowly as she walks taking in every inch of the Bull Pen.
“It can be a little intimidating the first time, but you get use to it.” The blond smiles with a soft laugh, a stack of folders pressed to her chest as she tails behind. “It’s just this way to your desk.” She points towards an empty half cubical, the plain desk void of anything other than a computer and a gold name plate, displaying the name ‘Y/n Smith’.
“Thank you, JJ, for taking the time to show me around.” Y/n turns with a genuine smile, setting her purse and bag down on the small rolling chair.
JJ waves her hand dismissively, shaking her head. “It’s not a problem, I remember how it felt coming in here a bit green behind the ears. I’m glad to help, anytime.” Her blue eyes flicker over Y/n’s shoulder, her smile faltering. Y/n turns around, finding a stoic looking man staring down at them from the landing above. He’s wearing a fitted navy suit, raven black hair styled neatly yet a few strands still fall across his forehead. His brown eyes are hard and imposing.
“We have a case.” His voice is deep and smooth, like a fine whiskey, an air of superiority lacing those four simple words. His stance gives him away, hands resting on his hips and chin held high, let’s her know he must be the one in charge.
“SSA Aaron Hotchner this is Agent Y/n Smith.” JJ begins but he holds up his hand, his face hard and set with an unwavering determination.
“I’m aware of who this is, and what you are here to do. Gather the team and meet on the plane. We will debrief there.” And with that he’s gone.
Y/n turns to JJ, her mouth age slightly. “Is he… always like this?”
JJ forces a sympathetic smile, “Unfortunately, yes. But he means well. Come I’ll show you where we need to go.”
3 Months Ago
“How do you do it?” Garcia blurts the question out in the middle of the room, all eyes turning to look at her at once. Her cheeks grow a little darker under her blush as she realizes just how loud she had been.
“Do what?” Y/n asks back, spinning around in one of the chairs circling the table in the conference room. The team had just landed forty minutes ago, everyone decompressing with coffee and donuts, generously gifted to them by the bubbling blond herself. Y/n takes another sip of her black coffee as she waits.
“I’ve never seen you cry.”
The question startles Y/n momentarily, her mind going on the defense as she tries to come up with a suitable answer. Opening her mouth she closes it again as Reid begins, “Ya know she’s right. We work a lot of hard cases but you stay pretty stoic.”
Turning to the rest of the team she glances over their curious faces, her gaze snagging on Hotch. His eyebrow is cocked, but otherwise his expression is impassive, impossible to guess what he is thinking. He holds her stare, almost with a hint of a challenge and despite herself she drops her gaze first, clearing her throat.
“I-I don’t know. Just got a good emotional switch, is all.” Y/n shrugs her shoulder, tapping her fingers against the side of the mug resting between her palms. The heat is nice, seeing as the weather is turning and winter is right around the corner, the office is cold having been shut down for hours now, the clock on the wall reading 1 am.
“Some say that the reason others don’t cry as often or as much is because they are repressing their own emotions, or have a hard time connecting with them. Some just don’t have tear ducts.” She glares at Reid, that smart brain of his going to get him in trouble. Emily scoffs and turns on him in your defense, hand resting on her hip.
“Spencer.” She says his name drawn out and scolding, making him slouch slightly in his seat, appearing sheepish. Y/n holds up her hands, coming to Boy Wonders rescue.
“It’s fine, really though I’m just good at detaching myself, emotionally, from the situation. Emotions are frivolous things that can get in the way of an investigation.” She shrugs her shoulder, her demeanor convincing them she is uncaring of the topic.
“Titanic.” Derek suddenly pipes up. “I bet she cries at Titanic.”
The group laughs, Y/n forcing out one of her own as her heart starts to pound in her chest. Morgan and Emily turn on Spencer, lecturing him about what is appropriate to state facts about, while JJ and Garcia begin to clean up. Slowly chatter and shuffling turns to white noise, a ringing in Y/n’s ears filling their place.
She stares down at the table, shifting in her seat as she tries to squash the rising anxiety. Memories, harsh and bitter like her coffee, pelt her; her chest tightening uncomfortably. All the whole Aaron’s watchful gaze never leaves her face, her mask of indifference and solidarity cracking the longer she sits across from him.
Present Day
You stare out the window of your hotel room, the city is shrouded in darkness but there’s the eternal glow of the night life that makes the inky blackness not so suppressing. Chewing absently at your thumb nail you sway on your feel, comforting yourself with the gentle motion. Today had been hard, grueling and long, but in the end the good guys came out on top.
A knock at your door startles you out of your thoughts, your body stilling and instinctively your eyes travel to your gun resting on the end table. 3am is a little late for a visitor. Another knock spurs you into actions and you cross the shaggy green carpet to the door. Peaking through the peep whole your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you step back, pulling the door open with you.
Aaron Hotchner stands in the threshold, still wearing his suit from earlier minute the blazer. The off white compliments his complexion and raven hair. “Hotch?”
“You’re awake.” He doesn’t sound surprised, more so relieved.
“So are you.” You keep the door pressed to your body, concealing the thin tank top and sweatpants you’ve dressed in for bed.
“Yes, I am.” He looks past you into the small room before gesturing to it. “May I come in?”
You bite your lip, eyeing around him down the deserted hallway before nodding. “Yes, of course.” He steps in full and you close the door, turning quickly to the chair across the room, grabbing your jacket. You pull it on, zipping it part of the way before turning back to your boss. He’s looking around, that part of his brain he can never turn off analyzing every inch.
“So… what do I owe the pleasure?” You ask, going back to the spot you’d spent most of the night occupying.
“I wanted to let you know the hospital called. Jenny is going to be just fine.” He watches as your shoulders sink, a breath blowing through your nose as you visibly relax.
“That’s… That’s great to hear. Thank you.”
Jenny Campell, the 9 year old little girl abducted by her father, who was held hostage for two weeks in a remote part of Boston. She was severely dehydrated and would likely have lasting psychological problems from the abuse her father put her through; but she was alive, and the good guys had won.
“I wanted to talk to you… about the house.” Aaron’s head tilts slightly, as it always does when he’s approaching a subject he thinks may cause someone some uncomfort. You hold his gaze, crossing your arms over your chest, confused by where this could be going. Aaron clears his throat before he begins. “How did you know to look for a secret door?”
6 Hours Earlier
The house was dank smelling, clouds of dust swirled through the rays of light coming from the flash lights of the officers ahead of you. The house has been cleared, but something was missing, Charles Campell said his daughter was here, but where?
You circle back into the smallest bedroom, the voices of Hotch and Morgan floating through the open door as they try to discuss a new plan. The room was littered with trash, a twin sized bed sits in one corner, a large oak wardrobe opposite it. Children’s drawings adorn the peeling walls, and a dusty pink sign hangs above the bed frame, ‘Jenny Girl’.
You step closer to the armoire, newspapers and takeout boxes crunching under foot, as you shine your light over the furniture. It’s new, newer than anything else in the entire house making it stand out against the decay. It isn’t until you’re right beside it do you notice the scratches along the lime green paint.
The realization dawns on your like a bucket of ice water being thrown in your face and before you know it your yelling for your team mates. “Here! Hotch!” Your put your weight into the side of the wardrobe, pushing with everything you have as the two men rush into the room.
Morgan runs for the other side, pulling as Hotch takes up the space behind you, his arms caging you in as he pushes. The three of you move it easily, a small door, presumably to a crawl space, appears in the wall and you rush to pull it open. Morgan covers you with his gun drawn, giving you a nod to go before you yank the door open.
There, curled up in her side, is the little blond girl you all have been searching for. “Medic!” Hotch screams from above you, as you quickly moves towards the girl. She small and light, her hair matted and dirty like her blue night gown. You presses your fingers to the girls throat, a weak pulse answering.
~*~*~*~
“Y/n?” Hotch snaps you out do your thoughts, and you shake your head, clearing yourself of the memory.
“Sorry… I just… I knew there was something there, I won’t say I could sense it but my gut hasn’t lead me wrong, thus far.” Aaron nods, waiting to see if you will continue. “Charles isn’t a lier, his motivation for taking her were simple, revenge on her mother. Make her squirm and give him more parental rights. He never assumed she would get the police involved. Much less the FBI.”
“Jenny’s father is not only a drug user but a heavy drinker. Everything he had done was under the influence and when he was captured, and the substances in his system wore off he had gaps in his memories of what he did with Jenny. Explaining why he couldn’t tell us exactly where she was, just that she was at the house.” Hotch finishes for you.
“Exactly.” You pause, eyeing him over. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, in fact you did amazing in the field today. You worked out the clue no one else could’ve, and if it wasn’t for you there is no telling if we would have found Jenny in time. I’m extremely proud of you.” His praise makes something in your chest stir without your permission. Your clear your throat to speak, but he cuts you off. “But you didn’t answer my question. How did you know there would be a door behind the wardrobe?”
Your palms suddenly feel clammy, nervousness making your spine straighten. “I don’t know what you-.”
“You do realize I am the one that goes through ever personnel file before someone is permitted to work with my team, correct?” His voice doesn’t have that hard edge like it normally holds, in fact his entire demeanor is soft, calming. Almost like he’s trying to comfort a wounded animal.
You are the animal.
“Where are you going with this?”
“I know about your father, Y/n. I have seen the police reports, and I know you take cases with children very seriously and hold them close to your heart.” He takes a step forward and instinctively you move back, a look of hurt washing over his features. “I need you to tell me if you are alright, if this case was to much for you.”
~*~*~*~
The red lights of the ambulance quickly fade away through the woods, leaving the house illuminated only by the head lights of the surrounding cop cars. Aaron is removing his vest as he walks around watching as people file in and out of the house taping and marking things off.
He stops by the van, pulling the door open and throwing his vest inside, when he notices a figure standing off by themselves. He squints into the darkness along the side of the house, the person is hunched over, hands on their knees as their shoulder shake subtly. He scans the people around him, finding Morgan by the entrance to the house, on the phone with the rest of the team and the other 5 officers are accounted for. That leaves only you.
Slowly he moves closer just barely making out the sounds of you muffled crying over the noises of the others. Concern wipes through his body like lightning but before he can move any farther Morgan is yelling his name, startling you in the process.
You straighten up quickly, wiping your face with your jacket sleeves and Aaron retreats towards the others. Giving you your space without the fear of embarrassment of being caught.
~*~*~*~
Your face burns, cheeks bright pink. You open your mouth then close it again, a mixture of emotions tumbling around inside you.
Embarrassment, anger, hatred, regret, longing to finally let it all go. None of which are directly targeted at your boss but he’s the only thing in sight.
“How dare you.” You seethe, letting anger take over because it’s the easiest to roll with. “Don’t come to my room at all hours of the morning, trying to… to… get something out of me.” Your anger propels you forward and you find yourself inches in front of Hotch. He holds his ground, his hands moving to rest on his hips and you break eye contact long enough to glance at them.
“I’m asking you if you are alright.” Aaron’s voice has dropped, the timber low and you can’t help but like the sound of it. There’s no denying Aaron is a handsome man, but there’s always denying your feelings.
“I’m. Fine.” You ground out.
“Your lying to me.”
“Hotc-“
“Sweetheart.” The nickname catches you off guard, your eyes widening with surprise, breath trapped in your throat. Aaron takes the opportunity, his large hands cupping your face, giving you no other choice but to keep eye contact even as your body stiffens and a look of almost pain flashes across your face. “I know you’re lying to me because I am good at my job and so is everyone else here. You think we haven’t noticed your apprehension when it comes to a dark room? Or the way you always stand closer to the other females in the room, even if it’s just Spencer?”
Your hands find their way to his wrists, tugging but he stays firm, he isn’t hurting you but he’s going to make you listen. “Sto-.”
“Youre to comfortable placating than possibly rocking the boat for yourself. You never finish a cup of coffee because you hate it plain, you’d rather wonder around a new building than bother someone to ask where a room is, you dont open up to a single person because of your anxiety.” Hurt is written clearly on your features, hurt mixed with anger but before you can say anything Aaron steams ahead. “With that being said, you are one of my best profilers. I’ve seen you take on men twice your size and never bat a lash. Behavior like this doesn’t just come from nowhere. Something happened to you that made you this way.”
That unwelcoming pressure behind your eyes begins to overwhelm you, much like Aaron’s presence, his cologne infiltrating your nose with each ragged inhale. “What do you care? I’ve done just fine with how I am by myself, I don’t need you digging around for answers that will have no impact on you whatsoever.” Your voice comes out softer than you would have liked, making you hate yourself more.
“I care,” He emphasizes with a stroke of his thumb across your cheek, a foreign feeling on your skin. “Because I can not sit back and watch you hurt yourself like this.”
You scoff, trying again to pull away, managing to take a few steps back only for him to follow. A hand slips to the back of your neck, hot and heavy, holding you firmly in place. “You’re being dramatic, Hotchner.”
“When was the last time you ate?”
Eyebrows furrowing in confusion, you open your mouth only to realize you aren’t sure. “I… I had a snack in the car. On the way here.” It’s a lame excuse, and he sees right through it.
“I want to make you an offer.” His brown eyes search your face, the anger turning into confusion.
“An offer?”
“Yes, I’d like for you to hear me out before you make a decision. Okay?”
“If it means you will let me go, then yes.” You give his wrists one last tug and he relents, but not before giving your neck a final squeeze. You move until your back is against the window, the cold night air seeping through the glass and into your jacket.
Aaron sits down in the only chair before gesturing to the bed, “Why don’t you sit.” It’s more of a command than it is a suggestion, making you root to your spot, giving him your best disgruntled look that rivals his on a good day. Sighing he leans his elbows against his knees, scrubbing a hand across his face. He looks tired, the wear and tear off the job showing more and more. Dark circles from a lack of sleep, a few new greeting hairs You could have sworn weren’t there when this case began.
“Well?” You snap, throwing your hand up before letting it drop against your thigh. Aarons eyes slowly lift to yours, a look you are unfamiliar with lurking under his features as he reaches behind himself, pulling a folded piece of paper you hadn’t noticed before from his back pocket. He tosses it onto the bed and a thousand possibilities run through your mind all at once. Leave of absence? Demotion? Pink slip? “Hotch…”
“Go on. It isn’t going to bite you, honey.” He let’s a little bit of humor color his words and you shoot him a glare. You close the distance, snatching it off of the bed and unfolding it to realize it’s a few sheets stapled together. Your eyes nearly double their size, mouth falling open as you read the header.
‘Consent of Submission.’
Paragraphs make up the first page, the words jumbling together as you try to make sense of where this is heading. The next page is filled with bullet points, titled ‘Rules’. Eat three full meals a day, go to bed at an appropriate time, check in with how you are feeling; to name a few.
As you continue to stare at the paper, confusion and distraught winning the war of emotions on your face, Aaron begins speaking. “It’s a contract, between you and I. It will help you properly take care of your self and I will help enforce it.
“‘Submission’? Aaron… This is… What?” You begin to tremble with a vengeance, forcing you to sit on the edge of the bed.
“Yes, it will help you learn to regain some control over your trauma and your everyday life. It will help with the anxiety, depression, and emotional detachment you are facing.” He speaks so surely, like he has done this before, and maybe he has.
“You mean it will help you control me.” Your accusation doesn’t phase him, in fact he looks to calm for the situation. His long legs are stretched out in front of him, leaning back in his seat with his head propped on his first. A complete opposite juxtaposition to yourself.
“In a sense, it’s power exchange. Nothing happens without your explicit consent, which gives you the power in what we do. Where I have the power is how we navigate those consents, what we do, where we do it, and how.” He takes a deep breath, giving you a gentle smile. “I’ve found people in your type of situation benefited greatly from being able to let their brains turn off, not have to over think every step of the day. Just exist and let someone else… Take care of them.”
“And if I say I don’t want to sign this?” You slam the papers back on the bed, more to hide your shaking hands than anything.
“Then I will have you go to therapy within the BAU system.” He shrugs his shoulder feigning indifference, even though his heart is thumping wildly. He thought the days of this life style were behind him, no longer needed, but the moment you turned up on the plane, he knew. Your lips were pressed into a tight smile, your body language screaming how uncomfortable you were seated between Derek and Rossi, though you desperately tried to mimic the calm demeanor surrounding you. Something stirred awake in his chest that morning, and he’s just been bidding his time every since.
Your stomach churns, weighing out your options. Somehow the latter seems worse. You run your hands into your hair, blowing out a breath. “I’m not submissive Aaron, you know this. This job requires to much for this to be a possibility. I don’t… I don’t see how it could work.”
“I’m not saying you aren’t, but I think there are things you haven’t learned about yourself yet. As for our job this is not apart of that, this is separate. We will just be ourselves, nothing out of the ordinary.” He says all of this so sincerely, a part of you wants to trust him. But the part of you that says no one is to be trusted squares your shoulders.
“What do you want in exchange? How do I know you won’t use this as black mail, or some chip to hold over my head?
His eyebrows raise in surprise. “Sweetheart, There’s nothing I want in exchange, I’m trying to help you. Is that so hard to believe?”
“Yes.” You answer before you can even give it thought. Deflect, shut it down, move on. How you handle any sort of situation that strikes a little to close to home, that tries to dig out your weaknesses like he is doing now.
Aaron prepared for this, knew you would meet him with head on resistance, but also knew with the choices given what you would pick. You’ve gone back to staring at the papers, the wheels in your head turning at full force. He can guess within reason what you might be thinking, he had that same look on his face when he was introduced to the lifestyle all those years ago.
“Y/n.” Your eyes dart up to his, large and uncertain. “Give me a month, just one. If it doesn’t help, if it’s too much, then we call it quits.”
“Just one?” You echo back, Aaron nodding. He stands from his seat, large hand stretched out, palm facing the sky. This is crazy, wrong on so many levels. Not to mention the amount of trouble you both could end up in if someone so happen to come across this. Every fiber of your being screams the sentiment. But it’s your heart, though it bruises your ribs, that makes you place your hand in his. Aaron gently pulls you to your feet, making sure you have your balance before letting go.
“Go wash your face, then I want you in bed. You need to sleep.” Instantly you want to rebel against the order, the phrase ‘you don’t control me’ coming to mind but instead you turn on your heel. “Good girl.”
You can hear the smirk in his voice and your shoulders tense up, but you force yourself to walk into the restroom, closing the door a little to hard. You turn to the mirror, a woman with scarlet red cheeks stares back at you and you huff. What are you doing? Where has your brain gone? Groaning lowly you angrily grab for your face wash.
Coming back out into the room, dabbing at your face with a hand towel, you find the room is lit only by the bedside lamp. Aaron, with the contract in his hands, looks up when he hears you. Your hand tightens around the scratchy white towel as a small smile tugs his lips up. “You look beautiful even without the makeup.”
You roll your eyes, tossing the towel into the small tub behind you. “A very typical male complement, Hotch.” You quip, glancing towards your bed. The covers have been turned down, and there’s a glass of water on the night stand.
“Here.” Aaron holds out a pen, and the paper, suddenly your hands have never been so clammy.
“I thought you said we would just try this for a month. Why do I need to sign?” You skirt around him, fidgeting with your jackets zipper. You can feel your heart beat everywhere, from your fingertips to the bottom of your bare feet.
“To protect us both, either you sign or there’s no deal and you go to therapy.” Skin bristling you spin around, whatever you were about to snap suddenly dissolving on your tongue. His chest is mere inches from your face, forcing you to tilt your head back to look him in the eye. He never seemed this tall from across the room. “You’re wearing my patience thin, little one.” The heady rasp of his voice as he whispers to you makes your stomach clench, for an entirely new reason.
Begrudgingly you take the pen and paper, pressing it to his chest to bear down on as you scrawl out your name on the little line. You notice his signature is already on the other side.“There. Happy?”
He holds your stare for a moment longer, and you think he might say something more before he steps back, taking everything with him. “We will go over everything at breakfast, we have an appointment with Jenny and her mother Clair at noon.”
Your eyebrows come together as he reaches the door, pulling it open. “I thought the teams going home today?”
“They are. I have paper work that needs to be done and you are my only child psychologist. Goodnight, Y/n.” He smiles as he closes the door behind himself, relishing in the shock written on your face.
#smut#apollyonsdarksecrets#criminal minds#criminal minds aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotch fic#aaron hotch smut#aaron hotch x reader#criminal minds smut#criminal minds fanfiction
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The Rescue
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven,
Summery: She’s reserved, emotionally cut off, and spiraling down a dark path; one she can’t get out of on her own. Aaron Hotchner may be her only help, but at what cost? When he shows up to her hotel room, contact in hand, she realizes it may be more than what she bargained for.
A/N: Guys this is a very long chapter with a lot going on please put on your seatbelts, settle in, because it gets wild.
Warning: 18+ Only MDNI SMUT. Language, BDSM, Dom Aaron, emotionally detached reader, typical CM violence, childhood trauma, abusive father figure, age gap (reader 25 Aaron 40) doesn’t line up with a specific time line, use of Y/n because story is set in 3rd person for the first half then switches POV, last name for reader is Smith,
Specific Chapter Warning: R explains the trauma she dealt with as a child, SMUT. Oral (F receiving), Fingering (F receiving), Praise, Dirty talk, partially protected sex (F on the shot) Aaron has a slight breeding kink, cream pie,
Present Day
David waves one final time before slipping into his car, the parking deck of the quantico office quiet and still in the late hours. It’s nearing 12am, you’re mentally taxed, your brain begging to shut down but you can’t stop fidgeting in the passenger seat beside Aaron.
Aaron’s face is hard set, his eyes gauging your every move. “What do you want to do?” His voice is soft, filling the quiet cab, “I can take you to your neighbor’s if that would make you feel better…” There’s another option he would like to give you, his own nerves firing in overtime, afraid to let you leave his sight.
You’re staring out the window at the concrete walls, you feel hallow, like something inside your body has shattered and you’ve lost all of the important pieces. “I…” you like your lips, trying to find your voice. “Anna said she was okay with Bruce, right?”
“Yes.” Aaron draws out the word, searching for your face in the darkened glass, barely able to make out your reflection. You look torn down, the strong woman he has known chipped away to reveal a scared little girl, running from whatever darkness haunts her past. “We can go wherever you need to.”
“I’d… I just…” you take a deep breath, squeezing your eyes shut. There have only been a few hours between what happened and now, and each one has been filled with flourished activity. You haven’t had time to stop and process what has happened, your brain now catching up to your body. Your head throbs slightly, the few cuts in your palms sting when you close your fists, your eyes hurt from crying so much. But the worst of it all is the war raging in your mind, the struggle of keeping it all in or letting it all out a constant battle that you seem to be losing more and more control over.
“Why don’t we take a ride?” The suggestion breaks through your thoughts, making you turn towards Aaron. His face is so soft, an expression you’ve never seen before, and you aren’t sure if you want to hate it or long for it.
“Okay…”
And so he does just that. He drives into the city, the street lights zipping by, barely illuminating dark houses and empty streets. Aaron drives with no real destination in mind, taking random turns, navigating the roads as you sit in silence. Eventually one of his hands come to rest beside your thigh, the flash of light on his watch catching your attention.
It’s a reminder.
An offer.
Salvation.
An hour passes in stark silence before you take your first deep breath, the noise loud in the small space. “Thank you… for saving me.” You force your voice to steady out, grappling for the mask you so carefully constructed all those years ago to shield the rubble of your true form.
“Do not thank me.” Aaron responds, rolling to a stop at a traffic light. You’re unfamiliar with this part of town, but it looks like a nice area with large lawns and small houses. “I just want you to talk to me.”
Your lips press together, glancing down at his large hand. Slowly you let your own hand slip off of your lap, tentatively touching his pinky with yours.
“I… it’s hard… and messy.” You whisper, watching how his fingers twitch but he makes no move to take your hand.
“I understand… but please, let me help you.” The light above suddenly cascades the car in neon green, and Aaron’s drives on, his face stoney and a twinge of desperation in his voice.
You turn your gaze back to the window with a deep breath, the cracks in your soul widening as you speak.
“I… I had a fairly normal childhood when I was younger. Very typical suburban family, my mother stayed home with me while my father worked at a mechanic shop. Happy, picturesque family…” You swallow thickly, choking on the pressure building in your chest. “I was 8 when my mom died… she was hit by a drunk driver and my dad just… he couldn’t handle it. He loved her so much that when she died he snapped. He started drinking and I… he would drink so much that I would find him passed out for hours on end and I was still just a child…”
A dark bitter laugh leaves your lips, shaking your head as you lean back into the seat. “Then one day he seemed to wake up. Instead of being mad at the world and God, things that felt no retribution from his anger, he decided that he needed something that would. Me. The night she died she was on the way home from seeing her mother. It was so late but I missed her, she had been gone for two days. I begged her to come home.”
You can still see that night vividly when you closed your eyes, the old house filled with police officers, the broken sound of your father’s begging screams. The female officer who had taken you to your room to explain that your mother would not be coming home as she sat with you on the floor surrounded by coloring books and stuffed animals.
“He told me my emotions caused everything. That if I had just sucked it up and been strong she would still be with us. He made me believe it, and… I still do to this day. From that moment on he had decided to train me to be better.”
Your fingers inch farther across Aaron’s knuckles, and finally he flips his palm, lacing your fingers through his. The feeling of him squeezing your hand settles your rolling stomach.
“Our house was a fixer upper, the guest bathroom had never been completed so my dad… painted over the small window, put foam over the gaps to the door and threw me in. I…” Your grip tightens, your throat restricting. You look over at Aaron’s normally stoic face and see barely restrained rage. “Hours and hours I’d spend in that room…. As I grew older it grew worse. He’d keep me from school… have me do everything my mother used to do. Clean, make all the meals, laundry. By the time high school rolled around I had missed so much school CPS has been called. The case was dropped in an instance because my dad charmed the woman over, said I was a run away most of the time since my mother died.”
Aarons grip on the wheel is white knuckled, his lips pressed into a hard line as he focuses on the road ahead. “I was beat with a belt that night. It gave me the courage to leave though. From that moment on I worked my ass off to get here… I just… I didn’t want there to be another kid like me… I know what my father did was wrong but it’s so ingrained in my head that every emotion I let slip through could be my undoing, could be the reason the next bad thing happens to me or those I care for… I can’t… I can’t let that happen again.”
You glance over to Aaron, who’s silence is becoming unnerving as his thumb strokes over your own. Finally he pulls your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles for a long moment before he speaks.
“I’m sorry. I know those words do little for what you have been through… I also know you don’t want to be pitied, and I’m not going to do that. You are extremely strong, Y/n. You have over come something that most people would let consume their lives, steer them to destitution.” He licks his lips and glances your way briefly, noting the solemn look on your face. “You know my opinion on your emotions, and I think you’re wrong about believing they can only bring you harm or failure. You’ve done so much involving them already you just haven’t realized it yet.
You have accomplished things that others only dream of, you alone and no one else. Your father played no role in this, he didn’t train you to become the woman you are, that was there all along. And I know deep in my heart that your mother is watching you with pride.” Your heart, the damaged organ that it is, swells from the praise and the thought of your mother. Your eyes burn and you’re surprised you have anything left to let out. But then again it’s years of buildup all coming to a head.
“Is he the reason for these?” Aaron gestures to your thigh, and you nod slightly.
“He threw me into the bathroom once and some of the tiles were broken… I can’t really feel the area anymore but I have what I guess you would call a phantom pain every now and again.”
Aaron brings your hand back for another gentle kiss, the delicate action such a contrast to the gleam of fury in his dark eyes. “My brave girl.” And for whatever reason, those three words break you. Maybe it’s because Aaron is seeing you, and not a facade, maybe it’s the perception of the fact that you are brave, or maybe it’s the simple claim that indicates so much more than ownership.
Comfort.
Safety.
Someone to rely on when you need it the most.
You clamp your other hand over your mouth as you sob, leaning into his shoulder as you feel everything fall into you all at once. Letting another person hold the weight of your world for just a little bit.
Aaron turns into a parking lot, into the first spot he can find before killing the engine and wrapping you in a tight hug. The consul is digging into your ribs, his hold is a little suffocating, but you bury your face into his chest anyways.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Are you sure?”
Once you had finally calmed down Aaron offered you his guest room for the night. You were an hour away from home but only 20 minutes from his. After a long moment of hesitation you agreed, much to his visual relief. But now standing in front of his door you feel your reservations creeping back in.
“I wouldn’t have offered otherwise.” He pushes the door open and steps into a dark room. Your breath unintentionally hitches, your eyes scanning the deep darkness until light floods the area. “I have a security system installed. We will get you the same one for your home.”
The beeping of the alarm would have went completely unnoticed had Aaron not said anything as he fiddles with the control panel on the other wall. He turns once it goes silent, watching you as you linger in the doorway, doubt and fear waging in your eyes as you scan over his simply furnished apartment.
“It’s okay. I promise.”
He’s warm reassurance makes you feet ease into the room, the door shutting firmly behind you. You’re entire body is rigid, arms slung around your center like you’re holding yourself together with your own white knuckled grip. Aaron bites his lip slight before stepping closer, gesturing to the rooms behind him.
“What would you like to do? Are you hungry?”
You tug slightly at your necklace, opening your mouth only to find the words are stuck deep in your throat.
“Y/n?” He steps closer and your eyes snap to his.
“I… I don’t know what I want to do… my head is pounding and I just… I can’t figure it out, I can’t decide.” Your stare is helpless, eyes flickering back and forth between his brown ones. It’s your way of asking for his help without letting the words out because if you do you’re scared of what you will become after that.
Something in his face shifts, it’s ever so slight but you can see it in the way he shrugs out of his coat, tossing it on the back of the couch. You can see it in the way his shoulders roll back and the lines around his eyes soften. “I know baby.” He closes the distance between you, cupping your face between burning hands and you physically feel the tension draining from your jaw. “Let’s get you cleaned up okay? We will go from there.”
Aaron leads you through the apartment, flicking on the lights as he goes, he walks you into his bedroom, a space as simply furnished as the rest of his home; and towards his joint bathroom. “Why don’t you wash your hands and I’ll find you something to wear to bed?”
Even though he is phrasing everything as a question you know he’s giving you the guidance you need, not making you over think or pick what needs to be done first. You nod your head and he gives you a soft smile before ducking out of the restroom.
You glance at your hands, the nurses had cleaned your hands enough to remove the shards of glass but there is still blood caked between your fingers and under your nails. Turning on the water you test the temperature before easing your hands under the flow. A soft hiss leaves your lips at the sting but you find yourself leaning into it.
You don’t notice Aaron standing in the doorway, watching as your hands tremble under the steaming water. “Here.” You jump faintly at the sudden rasp of his voice, finding him in the mirror.
He steps by you, his hand skimming your waist and your attention zeros in on the touch. Aaron grabs a rag from the shelf over the toilet, gently pushing you from in front of the sink. He wets the rag and turns to you, reaching for your hands without another word and begins to wipe away the blood and grime.
His hands hold yours softly, and you never knew he could be so gentle. Your eyes can’t leave his face, the concentration making lines appear between his brow, his eyes squinting slightly.
Aaron glances up at the feeling of you watching him and your cheeks flush, having been caught but still unable to look away. Once finished with your hands he rinses the rag, cupping your face once more as he runs the rough material over your cheek, cleaning away the stains of makeup.
Your eyes flutter, something in your body thrumming to life with each swipe of the cloth. “Aaron…” You don’t even mean to say his name, the syllables just fall so easily from your lips and he stills, eyes boring into yours.
“Sweet girl.” He breathes back, and your insides twist sharply. The tension is undeniable, the feeling of him so close forcing your body to react. You inch closer, your eyes dropping to his lips, watching as a smile curves the corner of his mouth.
The rag falls to the counter, his hands pulling you in the rest of the way. You’re nearly on your tiptoe, your hands finding his arms to steady yourself. He brushes a soft kiss against your lips and you whimper, the sound high in your throat and he breaks, deepening the kiss with hunger.
Electricity shoots through your body, pinging off of every nerve, setting them all ablaze. His hands move to your waist, bunching up your shirt until his palms meet your warm skin, and you shudder at the feeling. Aaron moans, the sound deep in his chest and you whimper as it travels through your bones straight to your core.
Pressing you backwards, Aaron walks you out of the restroom, hands wandering the plains of your back. You stumble against him, letting him lead you to the bed where the backs of your knees brush the king sized mattress. Your heart pounds in your chest, but when Aaron breaks the kiss to look down at you, he finds no hesitation in the dewy set of your eyes.
“Can I?” His voice is husky as he tugs at your sweater and you offer a small nod. He kisses you again, knocking the air from your lungs as he helps you pull your arms free, backing away to slip the cotton over your head and throw it to the floor. You’re in nothing fashionable, a simple black t-shirt bra but the hunger in his gaze is undeniable. “You’re so beautiful.”
Your hands find his chest, going for the buttons of his white shirt only for Aaron to grab your wrists, pulling your hands to his lips to kiss your palms. “Aaron I…”
“Do you know how hard it was to work today? Knowing you’re just a few feet away from me?” You shake your head, swaying slightly on your feet. “All I was able to think about was you. How your lips taste, how you moan my name, the way you looked underneath me in the morning.”
All of those things felt like a lifetime ago, and as his teeth nipped your skin just over the pulse in your wrist, you realize you would do anything to relive it. “I need you.” Your voice is a desperate, soft plea; your eyes alight with need making his lips curl.
“Then let me take care of you.” He whispers, his grip tightening slightly. You lick your lips, his gaze darting down for a breath before snagging your eyes again, there’s so much lust and need swirling in the depths of his brown irises that you find yourself lost in them. “Let me show you how you deserve to be treated, princess.”
“Please.” It’s a soft breath of a word, but it’s all that’s needed.
Aaron kisses you so forcefully that you’re sure your lips will be bruised, but you don’t have time to care as he suddenly pushes you. The bed springs squeak under the sudden impact of your body, the air leaving your lungs in one big whoosh. Aaron’s fingers expertly pop the button of your jeans, and your blood buzzes with excitement as you lift your hips, helping him pull them down and off your legs, taking your shoes and socks with them.
There’s something about the way he is suddenly above you, still fully dress in his work clothes where as you’re laid out scarcely clad in your underwear set, with nothing to hide behind. It’s a display of dominance that sends a rush of wet heat to your center.
Aaron smiles down at you, his hands making their way up your thighs, spreading your legs for you to display the soaked gusset of your grey panties. The moan that rips from his throat makes your stomach clench, your teeth impaling the pink flesh of your lip.
“You are all I have been able to think about,” He whispers, his fingers curling into the band of your panties as he moves to his knees. “And now I finally get to have you.” Aaron pulls your panties down your trembling thighs, laying you bare before him as he slips one of your legs over his shoulder.
His warm breath fans over your soaked lips, your vision going hazy as you prop yourself on an elbow to see. He looks sinful between your thighs, dark eyes looking up at you through darker lashes, his hair tussled, jaw hanging open slightly. The anticipation makes your stomach swoop and the breath in your lungs freeze.
You’re given no warning before he ducks his head, his tongue licking a fat stripe from your entrance and catching on your clit. You gasp at the sensation, your head falling back against the bed. Aaron wraps his arm around your thigh, holding you still as he circles your clit with the tip of his tongue, your legs threatening to squeeze his skull.
“Oh fuck…” You moan, your hand finding his short hair and tugging almost painfully, back leaving the bed. Aaron smiles against you, his teeth nipping at your folds before he lazily fucks his tongue into your dripping hole. “Oh god, Aaron…”
“You taste so fucking sweet.” His arm tightens on your thigh, his other hand tracing patterns on the inner skin of the other. You squirm at the feeling, your eyes pinched shut as waves of arousal roll through your body. Aaron’s dark eyes travel up the expanse of your body, seeking your face but he can only see the way your chest rises and falls with each gasping breath, your head tossed back as noises of pleasure fill the room.
His cock pulses in the tight confines of his slacks, the need to feel your wet heat wrapped around his aching member nearly driving him insane.
“Fuck, please Aaron…” You aren’t sure what you are begging for as your orgasm begins to swell under your skin, pulling your muscles taught. A part of you wants to feel embarrassed at how easily he has been able to bring you to the brink, but the sounds of his moans between your legs quickly floods the thought out.
“Cum for me baby, make a mess on my face.” It’s dirty and mind reeling all at once, your jaw going slack as your hips grind up to meet his mouth. Aaron slips two fingers to your opening, gathering the combination of slick and spit before easing into you.
A soft whimper accompanies the sudden intrusion, your hips undulating to take more of his thick digits as your orgasm creeps ever closer. He sets a steady rhythm, slow and deep that leaves stars dancing around your vision and with one final swirl of his tongue as his fingers curl into that spongy spot deep in your walls you break.
Your orgasm rips through your body like a bolt of lightening. Your limbs lock and your back bows up, your lips form a perfect ‘O’ as waves of pleasure crash over you.
“That is, that’s my good girl.” Aaron praises, keeping his pace steady as you moan his name like a prayer. It’s a few more seconds until your body collapses back onto the bed, your fingers falling from his hair taking a strand or two with them. Aaron pulls away, standing back up licking your slick from his fingers with a grumbling groan.
Climbing back up your body he creates a trail of kisses that leave you feeling hot and desperate, a distinct emptiness between your legs as he settles over you. Aaron cups the back of your head, lifting you to meet his bruising kiss. The tangy taste of yourself is heavy on his tongue as he explores your mouth, your still trembling hands finding his back and pulling him closer.
The hard ridge in his slacks presses against your heated, slick core, grinding slowly. You whimper into his mouth, hands trialing up his back, scratching at his shirt. You break away with a gasp. “To… too many clothes.” Going for the small plastic buttons Aaron lets out a soft laugh as your fumble over them.
“Easy princess. All you had to do was ask.” He sits back on his heels, your legs draped over his thighs and you watch mesmerized as his fingers easily work the buttons free, revealing his chest full of dark hair. You manage to twist your arm behind your back, freeing the clasp of your bra and quickly throwing it somewhere in the floor to join the growing pile.
Aaron groans at the sight of you, his mouth watering as he thinks of every spot he wants to cover with bites and bruises. Starting with your breasts. He leans over you, snagging your wrists and pinning them to the bed.
You bite your cheek, surprised that you welcome the weight of him above you, that you like the feeling of him pinning you down, leaving you to his mercy. You find your mind slipping more, every worried thought falling into some unreachable place that can remain in the dark.
Clearing his throat lightly, Aaron licks his lips. “Maybe I should have asked this sooner but… when was the last time you were with someone.?”
An awkward but none the less important question to ask, even if he is seated between your trembling thighs, staring down at your naked body.
A new flush spreads over your cheeks and you shift against the bed, against the hold he has on your wrists. “I… I was in high school.”
A moment of shock steals his features before he can school his face back. “Do you take birth control?”
You squirm again, chewing the inside of your cheek as his thumbs rub over your galloping pulse. “I.. Every three months I go get a shot. It’s better than taking a pill every day that I might forget.” You explain weakly, searching his face.
Aaron nods, shifting his weight on his knees, his cold belt buckle pressing into your thigh. “I can always grab a condom if that makes you feel better.” One hand leaves your wrist but you don’t dare move as he places it on your lower tummy, spreading wide. “But I have to admit, the idea of fucking you full of me is very, very exciting.” Your breath catches, eyes widening and Aaron’s grin turns devilish. “You think so too.”
All you can do is nod slightly, a thrill working through your body that makes the hairs on your arms stand on end, gooseflesh cascading over your skin.
Sitting back, Aaron releases you completely to fiddle with his belt. The brown leather hisses through the belt loops and when he stands he takes his pants and boxers down in one swoop. Your eyes instantly fall to the hard member standing up between his legs and your thighs clench.
His cock is long and thick, the dark hairs at the base trimmed neatly like the rest of him. A few veins run along his shaft, the prominent one on the underside pulsing slightly. He takes himself in his hand, pumping once, twice, to relieve some of the ache, the mushroom head a light shade of pink.
You whimper at the sight of him, the need in your belly almost painful. “Aaron… I want you.” Your voice is sultry, your eyes glazed over when you finally look at his face. He smiles crookedly as he slinks back onto the bed, his eyebrow cocked.
“You can have me, princess. Every part of me is yours.” The words scorch through your chest right to the very center of your soul and you find your legs falling apart, your hands still gripping the sheets above your head. “Come here.” Instead of covering you with his body, Aaron lays down beside you, turning you so you lay on your side as well.
“What?” He pulls your back flush to his chest, his hand slipping over your thigh and dragging your leg on top of his. You whimper when you feel the smooth heat of his cock glide through your wet folds, your back instinctively arching into him.
Aaron’s arm tucks under your head, his other hand free to roam your body as he rocks his hips, slipping his cock between your folds with ease, gathering your slick. “So wet baby, so ready for me aren’t you?” He breathes, pressing kisses along your shoulder and neck. You whine and press your head back into his shoulder, exposing your neck more. “That’s my girl. Are you going to let me mark you up? Show everyone just who you belong to?”
You nod without a thought in your head, “Y-yes… please Aaron.” He smiles against your skin before nipping the delicate area, turning the skin a deep shade of red as he closes his lips over the spot. You moan loudly, rocking your hips back against his, the steady glide of his cock bumping into your clit driving you wild.
“So fucking pretty.” He whispers and you force yourself to turn your head and look at him. When you do your heart jumps to your throat, his hooded eyes burn with lust but there’s something else swirling just below the surface, something that makes your head groggy and your body melt into his.
“You belong right here.” His voice is deep and rough and it makes your jaw slacken. Your chest squeezes, butterflies erupting in your stomach, beating at you with their wings as his hips draw back. The round head of his cock presses against your entrance, his hand tightening on your hip. “I’m going to enjoy every moment of watching you come undone for me.” He presses forward, stretching you around him and your nails dig into his forearm with a whine. Aaron’s gaze never wavers from yours, caught in the depths of your irises. “Then every moment of piecing you back together.”
Leisurely Aaron rocks his hips, slipping deeper and deeper into your wet heat. Every inch has your back arching, the ridges and bumps rubbing along your walls in the most perfect way. Your eyes slip nearly shut, your breath puffing across his pink lips and your only awareness is of Aaron. How his muscles bunch under your hand, how your body sticks to his from the heat radiating between you both, how his fingers dig into your flesh guiding your hips back to meet his as he sinks home.
Never have you felt this full, the stretch burns and it boarders on painful but you wouldn’t want it any other way. Ecstasy skirts down Aaron’s spine, making his own groan slip free and his cock twitch. You jump at the feeling, your breath wheezing in your lungs and he smiles, repeating the motion.
“Aaron… oh fuck.” It’s all you can manage, head falling back into the crevice of his shoulder, one arm wrapping up around his that pillows your head. His name is a soft, sweet beg and it has Aaron’s stoicism crumpling.
“Tell me what you need, princess. I’ll give you everything.” His breath is warm against your ear, your eyes starting to water for reasons you can’t explain the longer he stays seated inside you. His hand continuously strokes your side as you fight for your words, kisses littering your jaw as the seconds pass.
“I need… I need you to move, Aaron.”
There isn’t a chance in hell he would make you beg twice, slowly he pulls back, ensuring you feel every part of him before pushing back in. Your jaw drops, uninhibited moans falling past your lips at the steady rhythm he sets. Aaron slips his hand to your cheek, caressing you with his thumb in time to each deep thrust. “You take me so well, my cock was made just for you wasn’t it?”
It consumes your body like a wild fire, burning intense and bright, cracking through your skin which each grind of his hips. You cling to him where you can, your eyes rolling back into your skull, and he uses the opportunity to turn your face back to his. Aaron kisses you with no sense of urgency, no rush to throw you to the end, he claims your mouth the same way he claims your body; with a measure of patience and understanding that leaves you reeling.
You break away first, moaning his name and his hand travels down your neck, cupping your heavy breast as his lips find your neck. His long fingers toy with your pebbled nipple, sparks flying into your stomach with each pinch and roll. Your leg tightens around his thigh, your breath coming faster as your body arches into his touch.
“I’m… fuck I’m going to cum.” You breath into the warm air, your cunt fluttering around his cock rhythmically.
“Cum for me, take what you need and cum all over my cock.” Aaron’s rhythm doesnt falter in the slightest, the pump of his cock hard and slow hitting spots you’d never dreamt of finding. His hand leaves your breast, trailing down your stomach slowly circling your belly. You moan at the feeling, his lips pulling into a smile against your skin. “This little part right here, this part of your beautiful belly, drives me mad.” His hand presses down into your lower stomach slightly and you see stars at the sudden pressure, feeling his cock against rubbing against your muscles. “Imagining you heavy and round-.” Aaron groans as your cunt tightens, your breath uneven like the sudden stutter in your hips. “Pregnant with my baby.”
A guttural version of his name leaves your lips as you snap in two. The fire inside your body turning into an inferno, consuming you entirely as you cling helplessly to Aaron. Your head is flush with his shoulder, your foot hooked around his leg as your pussy spasms and coats his cock with cream. Aaron’s pace suddenly falters and he moans loudly, the feeling of your velvet walls clamping down around him nearly his undoing.
Slowly you drift back to yourself, gasping for air and shuddering as the aftershocks rock through you. You lick your lips, about to say anything when suddenly Aaron is pressing you forward, rolling you onto your front. He slips free of your pussy and you whimper, letting him adjust your pliant body to his needs.
With your chest pressed to the bed and your ass thrust into the air Aaron groans at the sight of you. Your thighs tremble in effort to keep yourself up right, sweat gleams across your back and shoulders, flushing your skin a beautiful shade of pink.
“You’re doing so good for me.” His hands graze over the globe of your ass, settling on your hips as he nudges your knees apart, adjusting your stance. You make a soft noise in your throat, fingers finding hold in the bedding.
“I know baby, you’re being such a good girl though. I know you can take it, just relax for me.” Your brain hardly keeps up, picking out the important words in its state and your body melts into the mattress with a sigh.
His cock aligns with your opening, teasing until you whimper, rocking back trying to impale yourself on him. Aaron smiles, sweeping your hair off of your neck and into his fist. He's gentle as he tugs at the strands, testing the waters and you moan, eyes rolling into the back of your head.
"That's it baby. Just like that." He draws out the words as he sinks into your heat. The angle is so much different than before, the head of his cock rubbing along the front wall of your cunt and you gape at the sensation. Your grip tightens on the bed as his hips become flush with your ass, giving you a moment to adjust.
"Oh fuck... Oh fuck." You mumble, electricity skimming up your spine as Aaron pulls back until only the tip is left.
"Beg for me." The words are a laced growl and you simper below him, the hold on your hair growing tighter.
"Please, please Aaron I want- I need you so bad. Please fuck me." You don't know where the words come from, somewhere deep and primal in your guts but they have never felt so right.
Aaron's hips snap forward, sinking into you at a punishing force and you cry into the air, the need and pleasure curling back into your stomach with a vengeance. To say Aaron is fucking you into the mattress is an understatement, the hold on your hip is bruising and the grip on your hair is punishing. The lewd sounds of sex fill the air, wet squelching as his cock sinks into you, the slap of skin against skin and the unmistakable moans of pleasure.
"Such a good. Fucking. Girl." He breathes, his body curving over your own, husky moans falling from his lips as he pounds into you. "Fuck baby, you're squeezing me so hard. Are you gonna cum for me? Gonna cum all over my cock?"
Your head tips back a smile curving your lips at his praise and you nod what little you can. "Yeees! Oh god yes Aaron.” You hold onto the sheets with white knuckled force, your moans and gasps mixing with his grunts making an intoxicating song. He growls low in his chest, his teeth bared, sweat gleaming on his shoulders and forehead.
“I’m gonna cum Y/n… I’m gonna make you mine. Again.” A harsh thrust makes you keen, your head tilting back making your neck strain. “And again.” Another one leaves you gasping, your mouth falling open. “And again.”
You snap simultaneously, his hips slamming into your ass as you cry his name. His cock switches, painting your walls with ropes of milky cum, your cunt squeezing every last drop free as you shudder and collapse. Lights dance behind your lids, your orgasm moving through your body with such force you are scarcely aware of the moans falling from Aaron’s kiss bitten lips.
“Mine. My good girl, my pretty little thing.”
It takes a few more moments before Aaron is able to roll onto his back beside you, grunting slightly at the burn in his hips as you let out a soft moan, stretching out your soar muscles. Aaron pulls you into his side easily, wrapping an arm around your waist as your head finds his shoulder.
You both lay like that for several minutes, basking in the afterglow of it all as you try to catch your breaths. Your brain hasn’t quite caught up to your sated body, letting the euphoria and calm take the lead for a while longer.
Aaron is the first to break the soft silence. “We need to get you cleaned up.” A soft noise of protest leaves your lips, your limbs too heavy to move. A smile in his voice makes your own lips curl, “I know. But we need to. There’s going to be a lot going on tomorrow.”
With that you can’t argue, so you allowed Aaron to slip from your grip, the sound of water running in the bathroom filling the quiet. Moments later he’s back, helping you into the restroom on unsteady legs where a warm shower awaits.
When he steps in behind you, you only have a moment to be surprised before he pulls you under the stream of water. The shower is small with just enough room for the both of you, but you find no protest on your lips as Aaron begins massaging his fingers through your hair.
You sigh blissfully, letting your weight rest against his chest as he works away the agony of today, but also a little off of the mountain that has weighed you down for so long.
“I don’t care about the contact.” His deep voice is sudden making you jump slightly.
“What?”
“I don’t care about the contract.” Aaron runs his hands down to your shoulders, turning you slightly so you can gauge his face as he speaks. “I care about you, the contract was… is a piece of paper to ensure neither of us got hurt. We don’t need it.”
You scan his face, his dark eyes reading so much more than he is saying. “What… what do we do then?” Your throat works as you swallow, butterflies eating once more at your belly as Aaron cups your check.
“Whatever you would like… but… I like the idea of you coming to me with your problems, of taking care of you, of you being mine.” He curls your necklace around one of his fingers, tugging softly and a new heat flairs at the bottom of your spine. Aaron’s dark eyes scan your face, trying to read your thoughts.
“I…” You swallow, the reality hitting you. These last few days had you thrown through the wringer, forced out of your comfort zone, and brought dark secrets to light. You’ve struggled and cried and raged all while finding comfort and passion and acceptance in ways you didn’t know existed before Aaron Hotchner knocked on your door one dark morning.
You nod your head slowly, licking your lips as you run your hands up his chest, the water spilling over his shoulder and the mist sprinkling your cheeks. You press in tighter and Aaron cups the back of your head, angling it ready to capture your lips at a moment’s notice.
“I can still call you ‘Sir’?”
A large smile breaks across his face, wrinkling the corners of his eyes as he cups your face, bringing you closer. "You can call me whatever you would like, little one..." His palm slips into your wet hair, tangling his fist into the strands and giving a soft tug. "As long as I get to call you mine." He laces the word with a growl and crashes his lips to yours with surprising force, need instantly flooding out the exhaustion from your system. You gasp against his lips, whimpering a soft yes as his tongue sweeps over your own.
"Good girl."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Thank you all so much, once again, for sticking with me through this story. This has been the most grueling, but rewarding thing I have written, and I am just astounded by the love it has received! I plan to make a few blurbs off of this story so fill free to check in ever now and again but if you would like to be tagged in future tidbits please feel free to leave a comment! 💜💜💜
*~*~*~*~*~*
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The Fall
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven
Summery: She’s reserved, emotionally cut off, and spiraling down a dark path; one she can’t get out of on her own. Aaron Hotchner may be her only help, but at what cost? When he shows up to her hotel room, contact in hand, she realizes it may be more than what she bargained for.
Warning: 18+ Only MDNI SMUT. Language, BDSM, Dom Aaron, emotionally detached reader, typical CM violence, childhood trauma, abusive father figure, age gap (reader 25 Aaron 40) doesn’t line up with a specific time line, use of Y/n because story is set in 3rd person for the first half then switches POV, last name for reader is Smith,
Specific Chapter Warnings: David being a tease(?), blood, dog attack, robbery, Typical CM violence. Hospitals, (let me know if there is something I missed)
A/N: so these next two chapters are long because I had to take a SUPER long chapter and split it in two. So be thankful I could have just kept it all in one part 😂.
Present Day
The first few things you notice, as your conscious slowly pieces itself together, is that your face is unbearably cold. The AC unit under the window is humming loudly as it pushes the air around, chilling the room like you’ve left the window open. The next thing you gather is that every other part of your body is warm, almost burning. But with the soft pillow under your head, the weight at your back, and how your body has shaped into the mattress, you could care less. This is the most comfortable you have been in years, every ounce of tension smothered away by the heaviness above you.
Then that heaviness moves.
Your eyes snap open with the flood of last nights events, overly aware of who exactly lays behind you. Aaron’s head is pressed against the back of your neck, little puffs of warm air skimming your shoulder, his heavy arm wrapped around your waist and a thick thigh pressed in between your own. His breath is even and deep, seemingly still asleep, and you silently thank whoever is out there for the moment to collect yourself and figure out what you should do next.
What you should do is get up.
What you should do is get the hell out of this room with your tail between your legs.
What you should do is call everything off, the embarrassment you’ve endured enough to last you two life times.
You close your eyes, sucking in a deep breath, because as much as you should move you can’t force your body to do so. The smell of Aaron’s cologne is filling your nose with each breath, then just underneath is a hint of musk that is undeniably all him. It’s intoxicating, it makes you want to bury your face into the pillow and never leave.
“You’re doing a terrible job of pretending to be asleep.” Your entire body jumps at the sound of his deep voice, making Aaron chuckle behind you, a chaff kiss pressing to your shoulder. “I’m sorry.” He mutters warmly.
“It’s-it’s fine… I was just-.” You push the covers down, starting to get up when Aaron’s arm tightens around your middle, holding you in place as his lips find the smooth skin of your throat, right where your shoulder meets.
“Aaron…”
He nips at your skin and you suck in a breath, his hot tongue soothing over the tender spot before he repeats the process further up your neck. Aaron sucks at the soft skin just above your necklace, just where your pulse is and you whimper at the sensation, your eyes fluttering closed. “We-We need to get up… it’s probably time to-.” Your words are swallowed by a thick moan, your head falling back as he finally finds that sensitive spot just bellow your ear. Aaron takes advantage of this new discovery, sucking and nibbling gently as he rolls you onto your back. His large frame settles between your thighs, trapping you in.
Your hands find his arms, squeezing the tense muscles as his weight presses you down into the mattress, your mouth opens in a silent moan, your eyes fluttering against the pleasure clouding over your mind. “Aaron… we can’t do this.” Your words are half hearted, contradicting your actions as your palms travel up to his shoulders, pulling him in as his plush lips pepper the underside of your jaw.
“Why can’t we?” He mumbles, resting his weight on his forearm, his other hand finding your hip. His fingers dig into your skin, his palm pressing into your bone angling your hips to his liking. Aaron lifts his head at your lack of response to find your lips parted in a quiet pant, your eyes closed as you drink in the feeling of him. “Hmm?”
“We could… so much trouble if we keep doing this…”
Your breath catches in your throat as his hand slips under your shirt, smoothing up your side and spreading wide along your ribs. Aarons thumb just barely brushes along the bottom of your breast, all of your senses zeroed in on the small area as the digit rubs back and forth.
“Then stop me.” His voice is laced with a growl, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that can only be described as feral. Your front teeth clicking together, noses bumping, moans filling each other’s mouths as your hands find home in his hair, tugging at the short locks desperately. Clauses smooth over the hard peak of your nipple, sharp hips grinding down into your own, and his erection presses firmly into your mound.
Aaron groans loudly, the noise reverberating through his ribs and into your own. Your thighs squeeze his hips with each slow canter, dragging himself along your soaked core. Every sensation is building into a frenzy under your skin to the point you feel like you will burst into a million little pieces.
The shrill ring of a phone sends everything to an abrupt halt. Aaron is off of you and picking up his phone before you can even take your next breath. “Hotchner.” You blink drizzly up at him, the sudden change in everything leaving you with whip lash. Aaron stays seated between your thighs, one hand kneading and squeezing the soft fat, stroking your leg as he speaks. His voice nor his face give anything away of what just transpired, leaving you astounded as you’re left trying to catch your breath. The way he flips script so easily almost a little unsettling.
You can faintly make out David’s voice on the other end on the line, a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding blowing through your nose. You draw your leg up with the intention of leaving the bed but Aaron squeezes your thigh and he shoots you a glare, silently telling you to stay where you are.
Reluctantly you drop your leg back against his pajama clad thigh, tuning out most of his conversation with the older man as you fix your shirt, pulling it back down over your stomach where it had ridden up. “Right. We’ll be there in an hour.” He ends the call, tossing his cell onto the bed leaving his hands free to explore the outside of your thighs with a gentle touch.
“We need to get up.” Your voice is soft, low and thick, your eyes darting down to where his hands have come to a stop.
“Who did this?” His eyes, unusually dark, catch you by surprise when you look up at him in confusion. You’re about to ask him what he means when you feel his thumb rubbing back and forth around the jagged raised scars on your thigh.
Aaron watches how you mentally shut down, your features once soft and dopey now are stony, your gaze turning sharp as your eyes narrow. “No one.” You force yourself to sit up and move away, your back pressing into the cold, wooden headboard.
“You don’t fit the profile of someone who would have hurt themselves.”
You roll your eyes, your nose scrunching with disgruntled anger. “How would you know? Besides, Derek says we aren’t supposed to profile each other. So don’t.”
Aaron moves closer, the bed dipping in making you slip towards him as his hands land on your knees, balancing himself with a soft squeeze. “Those are Derek’s rules, not mine. You don’t seem like someone who would have hurt themselves because you continuously push through your problems, you tuck them away so that they don’t affect what you have set your mind to.” His hand slips down your thigh again, going for the scars that plague you endlessly. “So, I will ask you again. Who did this?”
Your pulse picks up, your breath sticking in your throat like a candy you forgot to chew, as his fingers brush your numb skin once again. “I don’t want to talk about it.” You push his hands away, and Aaron sits back on his heels as you scoot to the edge of the bed with a wince. The memories of last night aren’t the only reminder of what happened, a deep seated soreness is there too.
Aaron sighs, a bit of annoyance latching onto his words as he speaks. “How is any of what we are doing supposed to help if you won’t open up to me? It’s not a sin to show vulnerability, or emotion.” His fingers brush your wrist but you jerk away, spinning on your heel to level him with a rough glare.
“Yes it is. Showing those things, when you are a person like me who came from nothing, gets you no where in life. My emotions are not the reason I pulled my life around in high school, they are not the reason I received valedictorian in college. No amount of tears earned me my work ethic. That was done by me without any of those things. I was fine keeping my mouth shut, my emotions locked away, and going about my life as I should. It was you who decided otherwise!”
Suddenly your voice isn’t your own, it’s hauntingly familiar, piercing the back of your mind like talons from a bird who has caught its prey. You don’t see the room around you anymore, just the never ending darkness that suffocates relentlessly.
The brackets around Aaron’s mouth soften, his eyes turning pitiful and you think that’s the worst part of it all. “Baby…”
“I want to go home, Aaron.” It takes great effort to not let your voice crack as pressure bears down on your chest, making it hard to breath. You’re sure if you keep standing here it will all be for nothing.
“Okay.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
You’re the first to board the jet, the cabin is only a few degrees warmer that the air outside, making you pull the sleeves of your purple turtle neck down to cover your hands. Despite hardly saying anything else to each other Aaron still made it a point to pick out the clothes he wanted you to wear, then helping you carry your bags to the car. The ride had been silent and uncomfortable, the boundaries that you thought were in place are now blurred, and a new type of nervousness has burrowed into your bones.
You pick the couch at the far end of the plane, pulling out one of the blankets JJ keeps in storage for weather like this. You ease into your seat, a long sigh escaping as you drop your head back against the wall, mentally and physically exhausted.
“Well, good morning.” David’s chipper voice fills the cabin and you force yourself to lift your head and meet him with a smile. Aaron is on his heels with a new folder in hand. His work never finished.
“Morning, how was seeing your friend?”
“It was good.” David nods his head, stopping in front of you, smiling crookedly. “We had just enough time to catch up on life until the next time I am in town.”
“That’s great.” You say genuinely, your head tilting slightly. Your smile falters as his brown eyes narrow, your back stiffening as David reaches out, gripping your chin between warm fingers. He tilts your head up and hums softly, his grin returning at full force as his eyes gleam with knowing.
“Well, now isn’t that a pretty sight. Make sure not to get that snagged on anything, gattina.”
Unbridled embarrassment fills your stomach, spreading to the top of your head and down to the bottom of your feet. Your jaw slackens in David’s grip and he chuckles, squeezing your chin before stepping back. Aaron looks up his eyes darting between the two of you. “It took her a minute to agree to wear it. I think she likes it though.”
Your head snaps in his direction, your cheeks reddening with rage but David speaks first. “Oh I’m sure it did. The feisty ones always put up a little fight.”
The fact that they both are speaking as if you aren’t sitting feet from them has you seeing red. You jam the necklace under the collar of your shirt, pulling the blanket up to your chest with a huff. Your narrow eyes bore into Aaron’s who holds your challenging stare, an eyebrow cocking in question. You curse yourself repeatedly as you drop his stare, refusing to acknowledge him or David again for the rest of the trip.
When David sends Aaron a smirk he finds the raven haired man staring at you with a mixture of amusement and possessiveness.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Two and a half uncomfortable hours later you are finally dredging your way back into the bullpen. Your extra bags are packed into your small silver car, refusing the help of the two men, and as you surround yourself with the familiar sounds of rustling papers, ringing phones, and jumbled chatter; you finally feel some tension ease away.
Dropping into your chair at your desk you stretch out your arms, noticing the stack of folders on the corner by your computer. No matter how much you do, there is always more paper work.
“Hey, sweet cheeks.” Derek Morgan drops into his own seat across from you, dressed in a too tight white t-shirt and an impish grin on his face. He rests his elbows on the desk, his muscles flexing as he watches you drag your eyes from him to the folder in front of you. There was no denying he was a very handsome man.
“Good morning.” You singsong back, flipping through the manilla folder, eyebrows creasing as you scan the text.
“How was Jenny after we left?”
You take a second to respond, carefully choosing your words. “She was really good. She was open and talkative, I don’t believe there will be any psychological impact that will affect her life. I’m sure as she grows older and understands more and more of what happened she will seek someone to talk with but for now… she is doing very well.” You prop your head on your fist, your eyes rolling up to meet his. Morgan nods thoughtfully, rolling a pen between his fingers as he leans back in his chair, rocking slightly.
“That’s good. I couldn’t stop thinking about her after we had left.” Right there. That was what made Morgan such a good profiler to you. Not only was he the power of the team, no door standing a chance around him, but he also held a big heart which overflowed with compassion.
You nod, dropping your attention back to your folder when another voice joins in. “That’s new.” Garcia suddenly appears behind you, her bright red fingers plucking at the arm of your sweater. Everything in you stills for a moment, before you force yourself to react, licking your lips and turning to the bubbling blond with a smile.
“Oh uh yeah, it is.”
“And so are those pants! They look good on you.” Garcia’s smile has always been the most infectious thing, despite what comes across her many monitors daily, she always a is a ray of sunshine. Her quick wit and humor making it impossible to dislike her in the slightest. The cheerleader you all need.
You nod again, feeling your cheeks heat under both of their intense gazes. “I kinda did a little shopping after the case was finally wrapped up.”
Morgan makes a noise and Garcia shoots him a leveling glare behind her pink glasses. The color being the main theme of today’s outfit, from her pink 50’s styled dress to her pink heels and makeup.
“What? I’m surprised is all. But good for you, Y/n. You needed to treat yourself.” He holds up his hands in surrender, waving them slightly.
"Y-Yeah you aren't wrong." You amend, glancing up to the landing behind him as movement catches your eyes. Arron is watching the three of you with a slight smile.
*~*~*~*~*~*
The day felt as though it had dragged on and on, more and more profiles of children and young adults to sort through. Deeming who is top priority for therapy based on the severity of their cases. Finally you are able to close out your computer, leaning back in your chair with a groan. The office is shrouded in darkness, a few emergency lights humming lightly and the amber glow of the offices above you the only lighting.
You can’t help finding Aaron’s office, the door is open and so are his blinds, but there’s no way of seeing him from where you sit. You bite the inside of your cheek, wondering if you should just leave or if you should go to him. You had never discussed how things were supposed to be in the office asides from being discreet. Nothing can be more discreet than just leaving as usual.
Your cellphone suddenly vibrates on your desk, and you aren’t left to wonder any longer. A text from Aaron pops up on the small screen and you find yourself hesitating to answer, your eyes darting around the office to ensure your privacy.
Aaron Hotchner: “How was your day?”
You roll your lips together before typing back a quick reply, something fluttering in your chest.
Y/n Smith: “Same as always when we are in the office. Just paperwork.”
It’s not a forward answer and you find yourself chewing at your cheek again.
Aaron Hotchner: “Did you eat lunch?”
Fuck. Y/n Smith: “I didn’t … but I was planning on having a big dinner when I get home from picking up Bruce.”
You swallow thickly, your eyes flickering to his windows where you can practically see the pinched set to his dark eyebrows, his eyes narrowing as he reads your message.
Aaron Hotchner: “Make sure that you do. Remember some of our rules extend to the work space and that includes eating three means a day if you are able to. Now, are you going straight home?”
Your face flames with heat, again glancing around to make sure no one can see your mild embarrassment from being reprimanded.
Y/n Smith: “No, I’m going to go pick up Bruce first.”
Aaron Hotchner: “Call me when you get home.”
You take a breath, one you didn’t know you were holding and begin to gather your things.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nearly two hours later you are finally pulling into the driveway of your small one story home, your car shaking with the force of Bruce’s excitement. You laugh as he whines, his tail wreaking havoc on the seat back behind him. You grab your keys and phone, leaving everything else for later. “You ready? Who’s ready to be home?” The high pitched toddler talk you reserve souly for your over grown puppy makes Bruce bark, the car shaking more as he shifts on his paws. “Let’s go then!”
You step out and he instantly follows, circling you before going ahead and running back, like he’s asking you to go faster. You both make your way to the front door, bantering one-sidedly as you unlock the door as you debate dinner.
“Chicken noodle?” He whines as you push the door open, letting him go in first. “No? Well then how about a pasta bake?” You toss your things onto the door side table, closing and bolting the door behind you. Bruce yips, his tongue lulling out the corner of his wide mouth, almost grinning as you lead him into the living room. “Ooo what about fish sti-.”
You stop abruptly, halting in the middle of your living room, as your focus lands on a man lumbering at the entrance to your kitchen. He’s shrouded in the darkness of the small area, his clothes different shades of grey and his face is obscured from a ski mask. In one hand he holds a large trash bag, in the other what appears to be your silverware.
Bruce’s growl snaps you from the impromptu staring contest you’re having with the man, the hairs on his body standing on end as his posture shifts. His stance widens, shoulders dropping , ready to protect. Though fear sizzles through your blood like acid you react before the intruder does, your hand snapping for the gun at your hip only to fumble over air. The realization that you have left it in your car knocking the air from your lungs. The man steps forward and Bruce’s growl intensifies, placing himself in between the two of you.
“FBI. You need to vacate before you do something you will regret.” You force the words out, your voice loud and stern, even as your tongue stick to the roof of your dry mouth. You hover your hand over your bare hip, hopping it will psych the man out as his eyes flicker between you and the dog.
He takes a step forward and you fall back one, Bruce retreating with you, the knowledge that you know he will attack on command giving you courage you don’t have. The giant holds up his full hands, his eyes darting behind you as he speaks. “We aren’t here to hurt you lady.”
“We?”
You don’t have the luxury to ponder what he means when something crashes over the back of your head. The sound of glass shattering fills the room, your knees hitting the hard wood floor soon follow. Black swims over your vision as you fall forward, barely catching yourself on your hands, the sting of glass cutting into your palms making your cry out.
A hair raising snarl rips through the room, Bruce launching himself at the man who just ambushed you from behind. Your ears start to ring and you gasp, trying to clear your vision as you sway on your hands a knees, you bloody palms slipping on the floor. A gut wrenching noise fills the air, teeth shredding through fabric and meat and a scream that makes you flinch.
Rough hands grab at your arms, hauling you up and the world around you swims and tilts, your head falling limply against your chest. There’s a thud and a whine that makes bile rise into your throat as you’re dragged towards your linen closet, mumbling negatives as you try to fight back.
“Shut the fuck up.” The man holding you shakes you by your shoulders, rattling you and your consciousness slips farther away. “Get the fucking door Mac.”
Mac. Mac. Mac.
Your sluggish brain chants the word as you’re hauled over to the dark closet, your body dragging across the floor. “Don’t… please…” With a loud sneer you’re stuffed in, unsure if the darkness surrounding you is from the door slamming shut or the last of your consciousness slipping away.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Aaron stares down at his phone where it sits on his desk, silently willing the screen to light up as he taps an uneven tempo with his pen against his thigh. The final folder he needs to go through is laying untouched in the small metal basket, his attention fixated on the out of date cell Garcia is constantly hounding him over.
It’s nearing three hours since you left the office, and an anxious feeling is bubbling in his chest, squeezing his lungs and heart. You should have called by now, the text he sent an hour ago never answered. Were you ignoring him? Had something happened on your way home? A million different outcomes are ricocheting off of each other inside his skull.
“Hotch?” David’s voice makes him jump, spinning around in his chair to face David leaning in his doorway. “Everything alright?”
Aaron rubs his thumb across his fingers, a comforting tic he developed many years ago when he still lived with his father. Sighing Aaron drops his gave back to his phone. “I think something is wrong.”
David’s eyebrows inch up and he takes a few steps into the blandly decorated office. The only personal touches are the awards lining the dark walls and a few pictures of Jack. “What do you mean?”
Aaron takes a deep breath, “Y/n… She hasn’t called and I’ve already messaged her once…” Aaron bites his lip, shaking his head. “My gut tells me there is something wrong and I can’t get rid of the feeling.”
David only takes a moment to contemplate, nodding his head as he grabs the door. “Then we need to go.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
"HELP!" Your fists pound into the door, desperation and fear cracking your already strained voice.
How long has it been? Minutes? Hours? The darkness surrounding you gives no answers away, and no matter how hard you push and pound on the door, there is no give.
It's all of those lonely dark years all over again, suffocating, hindering, debilitating. You scream for Bruce but there is no answer on the other side, no noises to let you know he is okay.
You’re cramped in the small space, the shelves above you preventing you from standing, the space becoming more and more claustrophobic. Tears choke your labored breathing, curling into yourself, deflating into sobs.
"Please... Please help me..."
*~*~*~*~*~*
It didn't take long for the two men to find your small white home, the faded numbers on your teal mail box still visible in the dying light of the setting sun. Aaron is overly aware of how the large black SUV stands out among the lower class suburb, but there doesn't seem to be a soul around to notice as he and David step out into the cold air. The house is dark on the inside, the front porch illuminated by the single strand of soft glowing Christmas lights that wrap the banister.
Aaron had called you once before leaving the building then again when they pulled onto your street, that creeping feeling of dreed now worming its way through the deepest parts of his guts. David glances to Aaron before leading the way to your door. It's painted the same sun-kissed color as your mailbox, but when David knocks it swings inward under his heavy fist.
Both men automatically draw their weapons, David glancing to Aaron who gives a curt nod before he pushes the door open all the way. In front of them is a long hallway, three doors on the wall to their left, an archway at the very end and another to the right. David gestures to the doors and Aaron veres to the right, noticing the small table with your cellphone on top. He turns the corner sharply, gun level and narrowed eyes scanning the dim room, the only light filtering in through sheer drapes.
The living room had been turned over, furniture pushed around or completely toppled over, once neatly placed books now litter the floor. There’s a pile of glass at his feet that looks like it had once been a vase, everything in his immediate vicinity is speckled with blood. A broken lamp lays on its side, the bulb flickering hauntingly, casting shadows about the room. Aaron can hear David on the other side of the wall, his steps just as measured and cautious in case someone is still lurking.
He makes it across the room, the trail of blood growing in volume, right at the entrance to your kitchen. It’s staining the walls and checkered linoleum floors, and Aaron can smell the copper tone in the air. His heart beats unsteadily, fear gripping him as he scans the trashed room spotting the blood soaked door. Making his way over he peaks out the window, finding a small, dark back yard.
“Clear!” He tells to David, who parrots the word back. Aaron’s heart is thumping wildly, his thoughts crescendoing, but as he is about to move away from the door a soft whine reaches his ears. He pears out the glass once more, this time a dog comes into view. He’s large, black and brown and Aaron can see blood covering the dog’s muzzle as he paces back and forth on the small patio, staring at Aaron expectantly.
Swallowing thickly Aaron looks around, grabbing a dish towel off of the counter and using it to turn the sticky door nob. The dog bursts through the door before Aaron can fully open it, bolting into the living room, David comes around the corner in time to see Aaron following the furry beast, his phone in hand ready to call the police.
The dog leads Aaron to a door tucked in the corner of the room, where he is pawing and whining at the white wood. There’s a china cabinet pushed tight against the door, bloody handprints smeared across the side and Aaron’s stomach drops with the realization. “Dave!”
The two men rush to the piece of furniture, heaving it away, Aaron’s hands slipping against the side of it. Once there is enough room Aaron throws open the door, his gaze meeting stacks of blankets and towels until his eyes drop to the ground.
You’re curled into the small space at the bottom, your arms thrown over your head, your shoulders shaking with each heaving sob. Instantly Aaron is taken back to just a few days ago when they found Jenny tucked into the crawl space. Bruce makes a gruff noise behind Aaron and the man drops to his knees in the doorway, relief and anger pooling in his soul as he takes in the state of you.
He reaches out, his fingers barely brushing your shoulder making your entire body jerk with a startled scream. Your head snaps up, eyes wild and unfocused as you press yourself further into the wall. Aaron holds up his hands, his voice taking on a soothing whisper. “It’s me, baby. It’s just me and David.” Tears relentlessly spill down your ruby cheeks, your chest rising and falling so fast and uneven that Aaron is afraid you are are going to hyperventilate.
Before he can say anything else though, you are scrambling towards him, throwing yourself against his chest with so much force you knock him backwards. His arms wrap around you and you let out the loudest sob he had ever heard, your fingers digging into his shirt, clinging to him like a lifeline and you were stuck in an endless dark sea. Bruce tries to nudge his head between your bodies, his tail wagging slowly, as David takes a few steps back dialing 911.
Aaron gently strokes your hair, his eyes close as relief washes over him. “You’re safe, everything will be okay. We’ve got you.”
A strangled noise leaves your throat as you press your face in closer, your fingers shaking around the fistfuls of his shirt. “I-I… I got jumped.”
“Shh, it’s okay, you don’t have to talk right now.” Aaron whispers, Bruce moving around to the other side, laying his head on Aaron’s thigh. Aaron drops a hand to the dog’s head, scratching him softly. “Good boy, you’re a good dog.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
The neighbors began to a merge when the police lights filled the night sky, whispering amongst themselves and speculating what could have happened to their most quiet neighbor. Inside, the house is consumed with near chaotic energy. Bright flashes of lights from cameras, men yelling back and forth to each other across the house. People getting samples of the blood left, picking up pieces of your home, your life, to place into evidence baggies.
And in the center of it all sits you. You’re curled up on the couch, Aaron’s arm wrapped around your shoulders as Bruce lays on your feet, a middle aged EMT checking your blood pressure in front of you. You hadn’t stopped shaking since you left the closet, the adrenaline pumping through your system making it impossible to sit still.
The woman in front of you, her black hair slicked back into a small pony tail, her flawless dark face scrunched in concern; shines a small light into each of your eyes. “Your pupils are dilating like normal, but I would feel more comfortable if we loaded you up and took you to the hospital for further evaluation.”
You stare at her blankly for a moment, trying to focus on her words as the rest of the officers clatter around behind you. Aaron squeezes your hand, making you look up into his pinched face. “Oh… yeah, yes.” You mange, looking back to the woman. She gives you a gentle smile, a smile she has probably perfected with her job.
“Alright hun, let’s get you up.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
It’s no secret that the entirety of the team hates hospitals. The fact that they are walking into the unknown of a sterilized building, with its overly bright lights and white walls, sets their nerves on edge. Everyone had gotten the same phone call from David, explaining that you had been attacked and were being taken to the hospital for further examination. Every single member of the team dropped what they were doing to get there, to get to you.
Morgan and Garcia are the first to arrive, having been just a few streets over at a local dive bar. The clicking of Garcia’s heels is loud in the otherwise quiet atmosphere. Morgan’s large hand rests on the small of her back as they follow the directions of the receptionist, the instant relief they felt learning that you were in a common room like a flood of cold water on a hot day.
As they round the next corner Morgan’s eyes land on an open door just down the short hallway. He drags Garcia to a stop, his mouth falling open in stunned silence. “What?” Garcia’s snaps, the incredulous look she gives him wiped away when he points.
Just ahead they can see you perched on the edge of a hospital bed, a white sheet pulled across your lap, your forehead resting against Aaron Hotchner’s sternum. He’s rubbing slow circles against your back with one large palm, and they are able to make out the slight movement of his lips as he speaks with you in a hushed voice. Your arms are thrown around his waist, bobbing your head to whatever is being said before you lean back to look up at the older man. Aaron leans down and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead and Garcia nearly collapses on the spot, her hand flying to her mouth to keep any noise from escaping.
“What in the…” David steps out of the room before Morgan can finish, pulling the heavy wooden door closed behind him as he spots his coworkers. A small smile tugs at his lips as he ambled over to them, meeting them halfway in the hall.
“What was that?” Garcia hisses, rushing up to the older man as fast as her heels will allow.
“That… was none of your business.” David says nonchalantly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dark jeans.
Morgan scoffs, keeping his voice low in case either of you were to open the door. “That was most definitely something. How long has this been a thing? And with Hotch of all people?”
David finds it difficult to hold in his chuckle at the incredulous look the male gives him, even harder still when Garcia slaps Morgan on the arm. “Be nice.”
“Look. It isn’t my place to say anything, but,” He pauses to gage their faces. “It’s quite new. Now, coffee anyone?”
David strolls away without letting them get another word in, whistling a tune from an old opera. Garcia turns to Morgan with a bright smile, her excitement barely contained making her shoulders and hands shake. Morgan rolls his eyes and gestures to the door.
After Garcia is able to calm herself down Morgan pushes the door open with a soft knock. Aaron is now seated across the room, and you’re slouched on the bed with an ice pack pressed to the back of your head. You look up as they enter, your normally clear eyes red and puffy, your hair disheveled and your nice new clothes wrinkled. You looked shocked to see them, glancing back and forth between the pair.
Garcia rushes you, dropping her bag on the bed and swallowing you in a tight hug. The discomfort you would have felt just this morning at the sudden embrace isn’t there as you hug her back just as tight. “Oh my gosh… are you okay?” You nod as she pulls back, her eyes scanning your face.
“Yeah… just a slight concussion. They are bringing me my discharge papers soon.” You smile weakly up at Garcia, your eyes jumping to Morgan.
“Heya, sweet cheeks.” He says softly, Garcia moving to the side as Morgan takes a seat on the edge of your bed by your legs. He reaches up and touches your chin softly as he scans your face, looking for whatever it is he needs to be reassured you’re okay. “What happened?”
You fiddle with your ice pack for a moment, a knife of embarrassment slashing through you as your shoulders slump forward. “I got home and there was a man robbing my home. I… I left my gun in the car and since I was so focused on the man in front of me I didn’t see the other guy come up from behind. He knocked me over the head and…”
Aaron watches as you shift in your spot, your throat working as you swallow, trying to force the memories and emotions down. “I passed out. I know Bruce got one of them though, my house is covered in blood.”
“Bruce?” Asks Garcia.
“My dog.”
“That means he will be headed to one of the hospitals, a dog bite can be nasty and they might not be skilled enough to take care of it on their own depending on where he got bite.” Morgan nods his head thoughtfully, turning to look at Aaron.
“I already have the local police canvassing the nearest hospital and urgent care phacillities. We will have a blood match if he goes anywhere.” Aaron’s face is lined with worry and anger, a mutual feeling growing in Morgan’s chest.
“Good. Do you remember anything at all about the two men?” Morgan turns back to you, watching as you pick at the itchy blanket in your lap. It’s unnerving seeing your normal stoic persona cracked in half, and yet he’s relieved to know that there is some emotion underneath.
“I only saw one of them, and even then he was wearing a ski mask. His hands were white, his voice plain, he was very tall though, took up most of my foray into the kitchen… one of their names was Mac.”
“We can work with that.” Garcia reassures you, her hand rubbing your back. You nod, the door to your room opening at the same time to reveal a worried looking Reid, JJ, and Prentiss.
As well as they can, they try not to swarm you; each of the women giving you tight hugs and words of relief. When Reid finally makes his way to you, you pull him in for a hug, the shock on his face enough to make most everyone chuckle.
By the time the nurse comes to discharge you, she’s met with a room full of FBI agents. She smiles a little nervously at everyone as she makes her way to you.
“Here you go. Now, get a lot of rest, that means both mentally and physically. Come back immediately if there is any sudden change in your condition, vomiting, dizziness, strong fatigue.” Everyone is nodding along to the nurses instructions, as if they will be the ones making sure you follow doctors orders.
“Thank you.” You take the papers flipping through them as she leaves. Aaron watches you, your body still taught, despite the defeated set of your shoulders. He wants nothing more than to get you alone and finally talk about everything that had happened. To see if you will open up to him.
“Do you need a ride?” Garcia asks, standing up from her chair.
“Oh um no thank you. Hotch and Rossi drove me here, they said they’d take me back to my neighbors house who offered to let me and Bruce spend the night.” The lie that rolls off of your tongue is so believable even Aaron is questioning if that’s what you think will really happen once you’re out of here.
Garcia only nods, throwing an arm around your shoulders and hugging you once again.
*~*~*~*~*~*
ONE LAST CHAPER YOU GUYS 😭😭😭 it’s coming very soon. Like probably tomorrow or the day after I’m crying. 😭😭😭
Tag List: @kneelforloki @hmett20 @axionn @ncis0mrs0gibbs @morgthemagpie @zaddyhotch @little-miss-cherry-cola @fandomawesomness @heart-breaker8 @aad1993 @obsessed-oops @supercriminalbean @lex13cm @rosiehale23 @emptybagofchips77 @icarusgloom @imr0nni3 @cashtons-wife @mojo366 @mrsgweasley @hotchners-wifey @lelevs @normaltuesdaynight @tgskitten @char-jlhewitt @shinebrightlikeafanbase @emobabeyy @bunbunbl0gs @turtleshavesoulmates @mrs-ssa-hotch @balariie @eveyez-exe @nachofriess @aangell333 @wisdomcrys
#smut#apollyonsdarksecrets#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotch fic#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotch smut#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner smut#aaron hotchner x y/n#criminal minds smut#criminal minds aaron hotchner#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fic
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Too Much
Joel Miller X Afab!Reader
Summary: Just a Drabble about Joel being to big and making you take it because you were being a brat
Warnings: SMUT 18 + Only MDNI, Mean Joel, cussing, unprotected sex (p in v) dirty talk, Dacryphilia, size kink, rough sex, cream pie, slight breeding kink use of a few derogatory terms, after care, pet names, let me know if I missed anything!
Joel Miller Master List
A/n: I’m in the middle of writing two other stories and I just 🙃 have no motivation for either of them. So here is a little something to show I’m still alive and my brain is still rotted by this man.
*~*~*~*~*~*
You had begged, pleaded and even acted like a brat to get here, months and months of working up to this point and here you are, hips hovering over his lap, the head of his cock brushing your sopping cunt and you are suddenly rethinking everything you’ve done.
Joel sees it in your face, the way your eyebrows furrow and how you chew on your kiss bitten lower lip. “Well?” He starts, his smile dark as your eyes meet his. “Thought you wanted to ride me baby, go right ahead.”
“I-I am… I just…” You hesitate, glancing back down to his cock, it’s… big, to thick to wrap your hand around and his length is nearly to your belly button. The large mushroom head leaks precum and the veins prominent along his shaft pulse slightly. It’s intimidating really, but makes you clench nonetheless. “I didn’t… know you were so… well endowed...”
Joel laughs, a loud rumbling sound from his chest and you pout down at him. Your thighs shake with the effort of holding yourself up, hands splayed on his shoulders for support as his squeeze your hips.
“I told you, I needed to work you open for me, but no, you had to go and be a brat about it. Tellin all your little girlfriends how I don’t give you nothin’.” He sits up suddenly, his grip the only thing keeping you balanced as he’s suddenly in your face. Your eyes widen, holding your breath as his smile turns more devilish. His hooded gaze rakes over your naked body, the hunger there evident. Palpable even.
“I-I’m sorry.. I didn’t… I was just-.”
He tuts at you, a hand slipping up your back to circle your neck, holding you firmly in place. “You wanted it so bad, you’re gonna take it.”
He doesn’t give you time to process his words before he abruptly pulls you down, bucking his hips up at the same time. He thrusts into you in one fluid motion, burying himself to the hilt and you cry out. Pain blooms between your legs and tears collect in your lashes, your nails digging into his corded muscles.
“Fuck!” You hiss between clenched teeth, his grip unyielding as you wiggle and squirm against him, fighting to ease the burn.
“Shh, Shh baby. I know.” His voice is almost condescending, the fake pout of his lips mocking your own. “But you said you could take it and now look at you. Stretched out so pretty on my cock.”
Joel lifts you easily, your cunt clenching around him before he lets go, letting gravity do the work for him as you slide back down his length. The cry that leaves your lips is almost something you’d hear in a bad porno. You can feel every ridge and vein, feel the head of his cock sitting snuggly against your cervix making your body pulse.
“That’s right,” Joel drops his gaze from your teary eyes to where you are both connected, a low moan escaping his lips as he repeats his movements, your arousal coating his cock before it disappears back into your aching pussy. “Fuck baby you look so good like this.”
“J-Joel… s’to much.” You babble as the first tear escapes down your red cheek, only making him groan louder, fucking up into you with hard stokes.
“Wanna act like a brat, I’ll treat ya like one.” He growls, and suddenly he’s flipping your positions, your back now on the bed and he’s looming over you making your breath stutter.
Joel doesn’t ease up as his hands find the meat of your thighs and he practically bends you in half, fucking into you with a brutal pace that leaves you crying and clawing at the sheets.
“Knew this-fuck- knew this pussy would feel this good.” He pants, watching the tears stream down your face, ruining your mascara. He can feel your pussy clenching around him, rhythmic with your hiccuping breath. Joel can see the pain edging away, pleasure beginning to bloom as your eyes flutter slightly, head pressing into the mattress with each stroke.
“Pl-please… I… I can’t…” Your mouth falls open from a loud moan, his fingers having moved from bruising your thigh to rubbing lazy circles over your throbbing clit. “Joooel.” You whine, toes curling as your orgasm begins to bloom at the base of your spine, radiating out into your stomach.
He chuckles lowly, letting you bear more of his weight as his thrusts slow in speed but keep that punishing power. “Gonna cum already? Such a desperate fucking slut you can’t wait any longer?”
You shake your head vigorously, face scrunching as his fingers work faster, the sloppy sound of skin hitting skin filling the room above the whines and moans ripping your throat apart. “Please!”
“Oh you can do better than that, baby. Beg for it.”
Your eyes fly open, zeroing in on his face. His tussled curly hair, the deep chocolate color of his irises, the way his jaw clenches before relaxing again. Joel’s eyes hold a challenge, a dare even, that you won’t say no to him, that you’ll do exactly as he says.
And he’s right.
“Please, please I wanna cum so bad, I-I wanna cum on your cock so bad!” The sheer desperation in your quacking voice makes a shiver shoot down his spine, a deep, guttural moan ripping through his body into yours as he leans down, kissing you messily.
It’s not sweet, none of it is as his fingers double their efforts, and between teeth and spit you scream with the force of your orgasm. The tide of pleasure rolling over you as your back lifts what little it can off the bed, your thighs shaking against Joel’s sternum, fingers turning white around the sheets.
Your pussy convulses around his cock, sucking him in with a death grip that makes his hips stutter and his own body tense. He’s mumbling against your lips, something along the lines of “fuck baby” and “I’m about to cum” with curses and grunts sprinkled in between.
There’s no catching onto whatever it is though, not fully, as you ride your orgasm, the pounding of his cock making it last longer, making it more intense as you cry a muddled version of his name. Joel’s fingers slip from your abused clit, digging into your hip as he starts to moan louder, his head tipping back, muscles bunching under his skin as his orgasm rushes up on him.
“Gonna fuck you full of me, little girl, breed this little pussy like how it’s meant to be.” His words make your eyes roll, a whimper slipping past your lips when you feel the first pulse of cock. Stream after stream of hot release paints your velvety walls, and something in your body relaxes, your hips opening just that much wider to take it as he ruts against you.
Joel notices, because of course he does, and a soft cooe fills your ears making your lashes flutter. Your eyes are distant, like you aren’t quiet with him, as he continues to empty his spend into your throbbing cunt. “Sweet honey, this what ya needed? Just needed to be full of my cum to make you all submissive and sweet for me?”
All you can manage is a small nod, making him smile down at you. Joel pulls out fully leaving you to fill empty but placated, your legs falling to the bed as your eyes close.
Seconds or maybe minutes could of flown by when you’re suddenly awoken, a warm cloth pressing between your legs and the sound of Joel humming fills the room. He cleans you up and then himself before he comes back to the bedroom. You’ve curled up on your side, arm tucked under your head and breath heavy and even. He tucks himself in behind you, an arm wrapping around your waist and drawing you back against him.
He kisses the side of your head, content with the idea that you have learned your lesson.
#smut#apollyonsdarksecrets#joel miller#joel miller smut#the last of us#joel miller the last of us#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller x y/n#the last of us smut
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You can call me, Sir.
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven
Summery: She’s reserved, emotionally cut off, and spiraling down a dark path; one she can’t get out of on her own. Aaron Hotchner may be her only help, but at what cost? When he shows up to her hotel room, contact in hand, she realizes it may be more than what she bargained for.
Warning: 18+ Only MDNI SMUT. Language, BDSM, Dom Aaron, emotionally detached reader, typical CM violence, childhood trauma, abusive father figure, age gap (reader 25 Aaron 40) doesn’t line up with a specific time line, use of Y/n because story is set in 3rd person for the first half then switches POV, last name for reader is Smith,
Specific chapter warnings : Failed CPS case, implied abuse with belt, clothes shopping (I tried my best to be as body neutral as possible), sugar daddy Arron, sales lady is rude towards reader, Things are getting spicy, first rules, use of pet names, reader is described as having hair long enough to sweep over one shoulder, trying on clothes, Let me know if I need to add anything!
A/N: The amount of love that has been shown for this story so far has absolutely filled my heart! I’m sorry this chapter took a minute to come out, I got married last week sooooo 😍 that slowed the process down a little. Haha 💜
*~*~*~*~*~*
9 years ago
The worst part was the way her nose stung, like a million tiny needles stabbing her all at once. But she had to breath through it, because only selfish, weak, incompetent people cried. So she forced her thoughts solely on the older woman who sat across from her, her grey hair loose around her shoulders, and the bright pink blazer she wore with matching skirt. ‘I think name is Deloris?’
Not what you would have thought when you heard the term ‘CPS worker’. She smiles at the young teen as if she was Y/n’s best friend and there isn’t a care in the world as her fountain pen taps against her yellow notepad. “You’re mother must have been a lovely woman.”
A muscle in Y/n’s jaw twitches, but she manages to return Deloris’ smile briefly. “She was.”
“So is that really the reason you have been skipping school?” Her green eyes were full of mock sympathy, and Y/n can only assume how many of these ‘troubled teen cases’ she has had to work.
“Yes ma’am.” It was the 8th anniversary of Y/n’s mother’s death. Today. She can hear her father in the other room, moving about the kitchen, pretending to not be listening through the thin walls. Y/n squeezes the pillow in her lap tighter to her churning stomach, already anticipating how the rest of the night will go.
“I’m sorry, dear. I know losing a loved one can be hard, but that doesn’t mean we can go about making things hard for the ones we still have.” Deloris tilts her head, her lips in a slightly pout as she regards Y/n, who only bites her cheek to keep quiet. She drops her chin to her chest, fanning shame with a small nod, placating the woman. “Good. I’m going to go talk with your father now, I hope you understand the severity of the situation you’ve almost caused. I expect to hear you are in school tomorrow.”
Deloris doesn’t take long in the kitchen with Y/n’s father, her pitchy laughter grating on Y/n’s ears. Her father escorts the worker to the door, his hair is combed, beard neat and he’s dressed still in his work clothes. A fitted grey collard shirt and jeans. His usual Forman outfit. At one point in Y/n’s life she can remember thinking her dad had been very handsome, but that had all been before the drinking.
“Have a good evening Miss. Deloris.” Her fathers southern accent is always laid on heavy whenever he is trying to impress someone, or to get his way. And for most of his life it worked well. Y/n wonders sometimes if that is how he had charmed her mother.
As the pine door shut, Y/n closed her eyes, taking a steadying breath before the storm. When she opens her eyes again, she’s staring at the brown tweed couch across from her, out of the corner of her eye she can see her father’s still form in the archway of the living room.
The sound of leather hissing through his denim belt loops makes her stomach drop, her breath quicken in her already tight chest. “Gone an got me in trouble huh?” He folds the worn leather over in his hands, snapping it together watching as she jumps in her seat. Her gaze remains focused on the spot Miss. Deloris had occupied, the old springs and cushioning holding her shape. “You ain’t learned trouble girl.”
Present Day
It’s almost unbearable how cold it is outside, the dark clouds over head threatened to snow on the busy sidewalk as you shove your hands as far into your jacket as they will go. Aaron is pressed against your side, his arm wrapped around your back, directing you through the crowd and to the front of a large store.
Chic’s End
Your nose scrunches slightly at the different mannequins in the brightly lit windows who’s clothing is on the higher end of fashion. Pieces you’d never find in your own wardrobe. Aaron guides you towards the door but you stop abruptly shaking your head. “Hotch, aren’t there places a little less… fancy?” Your tone gives away your discomfort as you scan the nearly empty store.
Aaron sighs, stepping around you so he can look you in the eye. “Rule number one: call me Aaron when it’s just the two of us, Hotch is too formal. Now I’m sure there are, but you deserve to be a little spoiled…” He pauses, his phone vibrating in his pocket making him frown. “Now go inside, let me check this and I’ll be right in.” As he fishes for his phone he pulls open the door for you, letting you walk in with a small head rush.
‘Our first rule?’
You take the moment you have some to look around the store front, a few customers are mingling about the rows of clothing, associates putting away inventory or helping their guests. A brunette is standing at the register, her hair sprayed and pinned into a tight bun atop her head. She glances at you, her nose turned up at your simple outfit, without a word of welcome she goes back to her work.
The door is opening a moment later, a small bell going off as Aaron steps in, the icy breeze trying to follow. “Sorry, David was checking in.” His voice reaches the woman at the counter, grabbing her attention. She watches as he shrugs out of his winter jacket, her gaze fixing on the flash of jewelry on his wrist with a smile.
“Is he okay?” You ask, handing Aaron your own jacket as he hangs them on a coatrack.
“Oh yes, he’s-.”
“Good afternoon, is there anything I can help you with?” You turn, the same woman from before now standing in front of you. She’s wearing a form fitting black dress, the apparent dress code for the establishment, a silver name tag pinned to her collar reading ‘Denise.’ Gone is her dismissive attitudes from before, her blue eyes staring intently at Aaron with a sly smile.
You feel something in your chest squirm, making you take a step in front of Aaron as you pull your best smile into place. “Oh thank you, but we are just-.”
A warm hands is suddenly on your shoulder, pulling you into Aaron’s side. “We’re looking for some work attire; blouses, pants, skirts and such. Along with more casual wear.” He squeezes your shoulder as you slide him a disgruntled look.
Denise regards you with a tight lipped smile, nodding her head slightly. “Of course. Right this way.” She turns on her heel, an extra sway in her her step that makes you roll your eyes as you pull out of Aaron’s grip following her. He follows behind a few paces, regarding you with masked amusement.
She takes you to the back of the store, pointing out the sections of racks you’ll need and where on the walls you can find work appropriate pants and skirts. Denise turns to Aaron once again, stepping to close for comfort as she stares openly at his suit. “You know, we have the latest in Brioni’s suit jackets that I think would complement you rather well, Mr…” She brushes her hand against his arm and your eyes widen.
“No thank you. I’ll let you know if we need any further assistance.” Aaron comes to stand beside you, his expression hard to read as he places a hand on your lower back. Denise’s eyes narrow slightly, her smile faltering before she pulls her emotions back.
“Please do.” She saunters of, throwing one last look over her shoulder.
You laugh unbelievably, “Jesus… she was a bit forward.” You turn toward the rack beside you, picking up the first shirt your eyes land on. It’s a simple white blouse with navy blue pinstripes, the neckline is a little low for your taste but otherwise it’s very pretty. You pick up the tag and instantly drop it, your mouth falling open.
“What?” Aaron asks, sliding the clothes along the pole, looking through the selection.
“This! These clothes are way to over priced.” You turn the tag towards him, and he squints at the small numbers. ‘75.56’. He frowns slightly and you think he’s about to agree with you, call this whole ridiculous thing off until he shrugs.
“That’s not so bad.” He grins at the incredulous look you level him, showing perfect teeth. “Darling you’ll come to realize the value that comes with certain things. Soon enough you’ll see the value in yourself as well.” He chucks you under the chin softly and you think that’s it.
You’re going to explode.
Everything it too much.
“Hotch, I can’t just let you waste that kind of money on me. You don’t know what you will need it for later, bills, or -.”
Aaron steps into your space again, bending down until he’s eye level with you and you clam up. His eyes are dark, burning with an intensity that has your shoulders slumping slightly. When he speaks his voice is quiet but direct, leaving no room for misunderstanding. “What did I say our first rule was?”
You stammer, your grip tightening on the fabric still in your hands. “You said… to call you Aaron.”
“Correct. So that’s one. Now, when I say I am doing something for you, buying you something, getting you something; do not doubt me. If I couldn’t, I wouldn’t. Do I make myself clear?”
All you can do is nod, your throat dry and tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth. “Good girl. Now if you really find calling me Aaron to difficult, you can always call me sir.” You suddenly look like a fire had been lit underneath you, your face flushing a new shade of red he’d yet to see before. You turn away from him, trying to hide your emotions and aggressively shuffle through the clothes before you.
Aaron straightens with a satisfied smile.
*~*~*~*~*~*
An hour in and there is a mount pile of clothing in the cart in front of you. Everything you’ve selected draped over one side and everything Aaron selected on the other. You had found a discount rack, the red tags a twisted mess by now, but the 15% off sign did little to quell the guilt eating you.
“Okay… this is more clothes than I think Garcia even owns. I think we should-.” You’re talking absently, glancing up only to find Aaron is walking in the opposite direction of the checkout. “Oh for the love of all things holy.” You quickly follow, pulling the cart behind you as the hangers rattle together. He stops in front of a display of eloquent evening gowns and you follow his stare to the forefront of the display. A deep emerald green satin dress takes your breath away, with a sweetheart neckline and a slit that goes half way up the mannequins thigh. You peak around the back in awe, it plunges well down to the lower back, a sheer material with beautiful rhinestones occupying the negative space.
Aaron watches as you pick up the bottom of the dress, rubbing the buttery material between your fingers. “I would love to see you in it.”
You shake your head, though your focus remains on the dress. “There’s no reason to, when would I ever wear this? Besides we’ve been here for nearly an hour, if we don’t leave soon I’m sure Denise is going to jump your bones.”
Aaron chuckles at that with a shrug. “You might not be wrong, she’s been lurking around the corner ever since I took my jacket off and she caught sight of my watch.” You glance down at his wrist as he shows you a golden Rolex. You hum in understanding, putting the two together. A handsome, stylish man, with a nice suit and a watch that coasts a couple of grand. She sees dollar signs. “Go ask her for a fitting room.”
Glancing around you notice she’s no more than ten feet away, pretending to be busy with an already neatly arranged display of sweaters. You walk over, hands clasped behind your back. “Excuse me?”
She doesn’t bother to look up, her head tilted as if in contemplation as she stares at the stack in front of her. “Yes?”
Your jaw clenches slightly, but you smile regardless. “I’d like to try that green dress on, where are your dressing rooms?” That finally catches her attention, she looks around you to the dress your talking about and then to the cart beside Aaron, the red tags turned her way. With a bemused smile she finally looks you in the eye.
“Sorry, that dress isn’t on sale, dear. Maybe come back some other time.” Her high voice carries farther than she thinks, reaching Aaron who’s eyebrows raised in surprise before furrowing as anger bubbles in his chest.
Before you can say anything he is by your side, startling you both. “She didn’t ask you if it was on sale. She asked if you had a fitting room.” Denise pales, his voice is harsh and edged making her shift on her feet as she begins to stammer
“Well I… it was just-.”
“Just what? It’s a simple question, this is a clothing store so you must have fitting rooms. She would like one opened.” Denise can no longer keep eye contact, her gaze flickering from his face and away again. “Now.” The command in his voice makes her move, her mouth agape and she’s pointing indirectly over her shoulder. She turns, quickly walking away and you’re left to stunned to react. Aaron’s hand finds your back again, pushing you forward, his other hand on the end of the cart.
The dressing area is three beiges booths with deep red curtains for doors. A large mirror takes up one wall that is lit up like Time Square during Christmas, and there are mirrors in the booths as well. “You said the green dress?” You nod, giving her your size and she’s running off again, her head down and face red. Aaron takes a seat in one of the mahogany chairs, folding his arms across his chest. He’s watching Denise leave with that same look he gives every unsub as they are being hauled off to their final destination.
“Um… thank you, for… for that.” You speak up, breaking the silence waiting on Denise to return.
He doesn’t look at you as he speaks, his black shoe tapping the polished floor. “You don’t typically show when you’re upset or irritated, I had to step in. I also couldn’t stand by and let you be berated like that.”
This time it’s you who crosses their arms, glowering at him. “I wasn’t showing I was upset, so what she was being rude? It didn’t affect me.”
His lips pull into a sarcastic smile, head shaking. “Sweetheart, I’ve been working with you for three years, nearly four. When you get upset over something, even if it is trivial, you dig your nails into your palms. Most likely because you would rather focus on that then what’s stewing in your mind and your chest.” You blink at him, awareness washing over you as you shake out your hands, crescent indents marking your flesh.
Before you can snip at him Denise is back, placing the dress in one of the rooms and leaving without a word. Aaron raises an eyebrow and you huff, turning and walking into the booth before snatching the curtain closed. You take a moment to breath, your annoyance merging on anger as you begin to undress.
You have to force yourself to remember this is all apart of the contract, this is all small steps to whatever greater end goal he has. You can’t fully trust he’s doing this out of the kindness of his heart, no one is like that. Working a career where you catch murderers and kidnappers and rapists has shown you such. The thought lingers at the back of your mind that maybe he’s pushing you to break and go to therapy where they will force your leave. It wouldn’t happen, you’ve come to far to let anyone treat you that way.
You step out of your pants, bending down to pick them up when you notice movement in the mirror. You look up, making eye contact with Aaron from where he sits and you go still. The only thing that moves is your heart as it suddenly jumps into double time.
Aaron’s eyes slowly rake over your body, the hunger in his eyes evident even from where you stand and you can feel your body respond. Heat rushes through your veins, leaving you lightheaded. He shifts in his seat, your eyes dropping to where he tugs at his pants legs, a noticeable bulge in his lap that makes your guts clench. From anxiety? Want? Curiosity? You aren’t sure. You quickly look away, his smile turning wolfish as you straighten and spin around, giving him a full peak at the matching black bra and panties your wearing before yanking the curtain fully closed.
All you can hear is the blood rushing in your ears, your fingers suddenly tingling and your lungs working for air. Shakily, checking the curtain again and again you strip out of your bra, and pull the dress over your head. The satin is soft and cool, the green leaving your skin glowing in the light. It hugs your body in ways you wouldn’t of imagined and you… like it. It screams seduction, fun, and someone you’re not but someone you once might have wanted to be…
The only issue is you can’t zip it yourself. You struggle for a few minutes, contouring your body this way or that, but you can’t get the zipper more than half way up your back.
Reluctantly you pull the curtain aside just enough to peak your head out, your eyes instantly finding Aaron’s. He raises an eyebrow, his hands clasped together in his lap and you are more than aware of why. “I need her help.” Your voice is floaty and you clear your throat. “I can’t zip it up.”
“I’ll help you.” He stands, crossing the small distance in three long strides, quicker than you can reject his help.
“Wait- no, I’m-.” But he is pulling the curtain away from the other side and you curse the interior designer with a flourish of silent profanities. In the small space he seems larger than life, all broad chest and long limbs. He steps closer and you back up, an all to familiar dance you two have rehearsed before.
He holds his hand out, a gesture of reassurance but he is still looking at you like a starved man. “Spin around, pretty girl.” Your legs feel suddenly numb, like you’d never used them before in your life as you continue to stare. “It’s okay.” He whispers, taking another half step forward.
“It’s fine, it fits well enough without it zipped I’m sure it’ll fit great when it is.” You fight to keep your body lose and face expressionless, trying to mask the feelings bubbling in your guts. Aaron doesn’t say anything, only continues to stare you down, gaze never wavering. “Really.”
“Turn around.” You don’t want to listen, but the timber of his voice makes your body ache in a way that catches you more by surprise than anything else has these past 24 hours. Cautiously you lay your hand in his, letting his pull you in before spinning you around so you’re facing the mirror. He sweeps your hair over your shoulder, his fingers grazing across the naked skin pulling gooseflesh to the surface.
You stand as still as possible, hardly breathing as he gently slides the zipper up. His palms spread across your ribs, warm through the thin fabric. “What do you think?”
“It’s a beautiful dress.” You whisper quietly, trying not to back down from his stare.
“You make it beautiful.”
“You’re only saying that.” He pulls you closer, your back hitting his chest, your body molding to his. A gasp disappears on your lips, his hips pressing into you lower back his erection prominent making you shiver.
“I can promise you I’m not.” His hand slips to your stomach, splaying across your abdomen, and a small noise hitches in your throat. He tilts his head down, pressing a tinder kiss to the crown of your head and all you can focus on is where he’s touching you and where he isn’t, but where you want him to. Your panties are suddenly slick feeling as you shift against him, his erection digging further into your ass.
“Aaron…” You try to warn, and he watches the way your eyes flutter, the shields you’ve so desperately and carefully constructed cracking under the weight of his stare. Some logical part of your brain, buried beneath the mush of your thoughts, is screaming and begging to run away. But how long had it been since you’d felt that fire in the pit of your stomach, curling your toes and making your thighs pinch together?
You’re about to open your mouth, say something, anything at all, when he is suddenly pulling away. “Come out here so I can get a better look at you.” Aaron steps behind the curtain leaving you to your spiraling thoughts and an ache you’d never imagine. Your face is flushed, eyes wide and pupils blown out over the color of your irises. It’s hard to keep the air in your lungs from rushing out in soft pants.
All you can think is that if this is how you react to a few simple words and actions, you’re screwed.
*~*~*~*~*~*
The next half hour is spent paying for your clothing, a bill Aaron wouldn’t allow you to see, then moving the bags from the car to your hotel room. You stare at them now, laid out on your bed with furrowed eyebrows and your thumbnail caught between your teeth. How would you get these in your bag and on the plane with as little notice as possible?
“Maybe we can go get you another duffle bag tomorrow.” Aaron answers as if he could read your thoughts, and if you didn’t know better you would say he did.
“It’s okay.. Thank you for the clothing.” You manage, giving him a tight smile as you glance to where he is standing at the foot of the bed.
The entire car ride was filled with tension, his presence alone setting you on edge, all while he remained calm driving down the busy streets and helping you to your room.
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” He smiles at you, possibly more so from your compliance, his eyes like coffee. “Would you like to join me for lunch?”
You bite your nail harder, looking back to the bags. “I’d like to just order my food to my room, I need to get this organized and finish my reports.” You expect him to argue but he only nods, coming around the bed and kissing the top of your head before he walks towards the door.
“I’ll check on you in a little while.” With that he leaves, and as the automatic lock slides into place you crumple. You sit heavily on the bed, running a hand through your hair like it might comb your thoughts back into place.
What are you doing?
What is he doing?
You groan in frustration, the feeling of not having control over what happens next beating on your bones and muscles. You haven’t relaxed since this began and you have a feeling you won’t for a long time to come.
*~*~*~*~*~*
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The Lead Up And The Follow Through
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five , Part Six, Part Seven
Summery: She’s reserved, emotionally cut off, and spiraling down a dark path; one she can’t get out of on her own. Aaron Hotchner may be her only help, but at what cost? When he shows up to her hotel room, contact in hand, she realizes it may be more than what she bargained for.
Warning: 18+ Only MDNI SMUT. Language, BDSM, Dom Aaron, emotionally detached reader, typical CM violence, childhood trauma, abusive father figure, age gap (reader 25 Aaron 40) doesn’t line up with a specific time line, use of Y/n because story is set in 3rd person for the first half then switches POV, last name for reader is Smith,
Specific Chapter Warnings: more sugar daddy Aaron, collaring (squeeeee) Aaron being a tease, reader getting dressed up, Haley and Jack mentioned, mentions of eating, alcohol, spanking, fingering (f receiving), orgasm ( f receiving) crying, after care, Let me know if I missed anything!
AN: There is a lot to unpack in this chapter obviously! The story will have about one to two more parts, I seriously can’t thank y’all enough for the support and love thrown my way, y’all make a girl cry 😭💜
4 Years Ago.
She stares down at the book in her hand, after hours of studying she can barely keep the words from swimming around the pages. It’s late, or rather early, her final tests in the afternoon and she’s cramming whatever she can in. Her anxiety peaking with each tick of the clock on the wall.
The last few years have all worked up to this point, graduating with her masters in child psychology and becoming an FBI agent. Years she has spent isolated yet focused on her one goal, her one chance to become more than what everyone thought she could be.
Y/n rubs at her eyes, taking a steadying breath as she leans back into the wooden chair.
‘I can do this, I can do this, I can-.’
A shrill noise interrupts her thoughts, her entire body jolting in a brief moment of fear as the telephone on the night stand continues to ring. Her eyebrows come together in confused annoyance, wondering who could be calling her at such a ridiculous hour. Stretching out of her chair she’s able to grab the receiver, barely registering the wobble of her chair as she settles back in.
“Hello?”
“Y/n?” A deep scratchy voice comes through, noises beyond the man’s voice making him a little muffled but utterly recognizable. Y/n feels her throat constrict, everything stopping around her, as her heart begins to pound. “Y/n, is dad. I need help. I’ve gotten myself in some trouble.”
She stairs ahead at the wall, unable to focus on whatever is being said as the blood rushes through her ears. Her hands begin to shake, the tremors going from light to violent in a matter of seconds as her father continues to ramble on.
“- I’m at the police station now, they aren’t letting me bail myself I just need you-.”
Y/n doesn’t remember standing, all she realizes is that she is slamming the receiver down with concerning force. Her chest rises and falls quickly, the room spinning around her as she stands rooted to her spot on the dingy hard wood floor of her cheap little apartment.
A million questions will bombard her later. How did he find her? Who tipped him off? When will he call again? But she can’t think of those things now, she can’t dwell on the unknown when the path of her future will be forged in just a few short hours.
Y/n forces her legs to move back to her desk, planting herself in her chair and picking up the book once more. The room doesn’t stop spinning.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Y/n taps her food against the polished floor, her lip worried between her teeth, her eyes darting to the door to the administrator’s office every few minutes. Not unlike the rest of the young adults in the hall along with her.
Some are playing it calmer than she is, then there are some who are practically in tears. A certain brunette is sitting across from Y/n with a wide smile plastered to her face.
“It’s okay, you know.” Melissa Pharway, the girl who peaked in high school and never grew out of her Queen-Bee phase, looks pointedly to Y/n, her shoulders back and her head held high. Y/n only glances her way, not bothering to entice Melissa on because she will do so herself. “Things like this are hard for people with your… background.”
Y/n’s jaw ticks, but she doesn’t respond. Only a few months into school had a rumor spread about where Y/n was from, then it had escalated into how Y/n was able to get into the schools, and things only got hectic from there.
She always thought things couldn’t get any worse after high school. Melissa has proven her wrong.
“It’s sweet, how hard you have tried, but as it’s been said before.” Melissa snorts at her own thoughts, crossing her long legs and leaning back against the cement brick wall. “Some people just aren’t mean to be here. And hey? If you fail? There’s always next year.”
“Y/n Smith?”
Y/n’s head jerks up, the admin, a very short round woman, stands by the door. Y/n stands, wiping her clammy hands down her pants legs before following the woman into her office. The name on the door reading, Suzan Mitchel.
Mrs. Mitchel takes a seat at her large desk, gesturing for Y/n to sit in one of the green wing backed chairs. Her office is decorated with nicknacks from the woman’s life, the walls a deep green and the hardwood floors stained nearly black. The room is honestly cozy, the walls lined with books, and photos.
“Now… You’ve had quite a go these past few years. Making near perfect scores in all of your classes, balancing training for the agency along with your doctoral degree in Psychology.”
Y/n nods her head, her hands clasped in her lap, her eyes trained on the stacks of papers in front of her. Mrs. Mitchel adjusts the glasses resting on her nose before grabbing the first paper on the stack, her steely eye glancing up at the young woman in front of her.
“I’m pleased say it has payed off. You have made valedictorian.”
Y/n’s jaw drops, the first real sense of accomplishment rushing over her. She feels her eyes sting, and she forces herself to take slow breaths to control her emotions.
Mrs. Mitches laughs lightly, passing Y/n’s tests to her with a large smile. “It’s okay to celebrate dear. You deserve it.”
Y/n give her a stoic smile, her lower lip wobbling ever so slightly. “Thank you, ma’am, but the hard work is only just beginning.”
She thanks Mrs. Mitchel as she leaves the office, a confidence in her walk that she has never felt before as she passes the still smug smiling girl from earlier. A moment of bravado steals through her as she slows to a stop, leaning close to Melissa making the girls face scrunch in confusion. “There’s always next year.”
Melissa’s face falls completely, watching as Y/n straightens and marches off, her shoulders thrown back and chin lifted.
*~*~*~*~*~*
3 and 1/2 years ago
Derek Morgan scrubs at his face, staring at the screen in front of him with evident frustration. “I don’t get it.” His voice suddenly so loud beside Y/n makes her eyes flick up, but she says nothing as she continues to scan through her reports. “Strauss wants us doing all of this paper work for what? We never did any of this before.”
Y/n smiles slightly, leaning back in her chair as Prentiss chimes in. “What? Turned off by a little typing? Not enough action for ya?”
Morgan gives you a halfhearted glare, locking his hands behind his head as he mimics Y/n’s relaxed posture. “Now you know damn well I am a man of words.”
“And such big game.” The moment the words slip free of Y/n’s lips her face flushes a dark shade, Morgan’s mouth falling open as Prentiss cackles, slapping her hand over her mouth to muffle the noise. “I’m… I’m sorry that-.”
Before she can say anything else her cellphone rings and Morgan shakes his finger at her sheepish face. “Saved by the bell, girl.”
Y/n flips open her phone without glancing at the screen, pressing it to her ear. “Smith.”
“Y/n, oh thank God.”
Her eyes widen, Morgan’s easy smile falling as they lock eyes. Y/n quickly looks away but it’s too late, the man across from her has noticed. “What’s wrong?”
“I know you’re there look… I need you to listen to me, you dad needs a little help.” Dread drops hard in her stomach like a ball of lead, sending acid up her throat. Her skin is suddenly white as if she’d seen a ghost and Prentiss comes around the desk a the worry etched on Morgan’s face.
“Help?” Y/n’s voice doesn’t sound right to her own ears, distance and hallow.
“I need money, girl. I’m going to lose the house, you’re making it big now. I know you are, you can help your father after all the years I’ve spent helping you.”
Rage. Y/n feels her blood boil, her heart hammering in different parts of her body. She lowers her phone, holding it tight between her hands before snapping it at the hinges. Prentiss jumps slightly at the sudden action, Morgan’s eyebrows shooting up in disbelief.
Y/n stands on surprisingly sturdy legs, dropping the remnants off her phone into the black waste basket beside her desk before rushing off, leaving her coworkers dumbfounded.
Present Day
You’re up well before Aaron calls you, folding your clothes into neat stacks, trying to decide what will fit into your go bag, and what you will have to carry in the bags from the store. The ringer goes off, a short simple melody playing repeatedly until you pick it up.
“Hello?”
“Good morning.” His voice sounds thick with sleep. “Would you like to go get some coffee with me?” The thought of caffeine after being up most of the night, bulling through what was left of your work, and going back to Aaron’s text more times than you would like to count; sounds like heaven to your tired body.
“Uh yeah, I could go for a pick me up.”
There’s shuffling on the other end. “Be there in 15.” The phone goes quiet with a soft beep and you glance at the stacks on your bed. Disrupting your organization, you quickly find a pair of black leggings and a long merlot colored sweater. You change from your night gown, throwing your hair into a messy bun right as his knuckles connect with your door. You snatch your phone and wallet from the table before shoving your sock clad feet into your boots and pulling the door open.
The sight of Aaron looking down at you as soon as you open the door is begging to feel too routine. You close your door firmly then square your shoulders with a deep breath as you turn to face him. “Morning.”
Aaron chuckles and reaches up, brushing a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “Sounds like your reporting to a firing squad.” You don’t want to say he is wrong.
“I just… I didn’t get a lot of sleep.” Aaron’s raised eyebrow makes you cringe inwardly, realizing you should have used another excuse that wasn’t breaking one of your new rules.
“Oh? And why is that?”
“Just… I’ve been doing a lot of work.” You turn away, fidgeting with your phone and Aaron gives you a small grunt of disapproval, your shoulders tightening. “I’m going to go ahead and assume that’s three?”
“You’re catching on.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
Despite the shine of the sun peaking through the clouds it’s still miserably frigid. You both pile into the car as quickly as possible, the first few minutes spent in shivering silence as you wait for the heat to kick in.
Aaron begins pulling out of the parking spot, navigating the parking deck onto the street, his hand resting on the center console close to your thigh. “What was it like where you grew up?” His question snaps your attention away from his long fingers and you scold yourself mentally, turning your gaze to the grey dashboard.
“Pretty quiet I suppose. I’m from a small town in Mississippi, so there were a lot of woods, creeks, things of that sort. My street was pretty sparse, house wise… could shout to your neighbor if you really needed them.” The memories that came along with thinking of your rule little farming town were a mixture of good and bad. Good things being the long days playing in creek beds catching frogs, hiking a little to far into the woods when the leaves changed colors; winter time wondering if snow would fall.
All sunshine before the storm.
Aaron hums beside you. “My home was very suburban. White House’s with white fences.” You look over, he’s smiling faintly and you can’t help studying the sharp angles of his face, the lines around his lips and the crows feet by his eyes. “My brother and I use to get into a lot of trouble, the big city just a half our away, always had our mother on edge.”
“That sounds nice, I guess where I live now is pretty much the low end version of that. There is a back yard for Bruce though, and that’s what really matters in the end.” You say with a shrug, watching the streetlights change. A wave of people cross in front of the car, some on their phones, some talking to others, but most of them with their heads down just trying to get where they are going.
“So you’ve had him since he was a puppy?” Aaron throws on his turn signal as the light changes, pulling onto a busy street.
“I found him when he was maybe two months old. There’s this park I use to go to back home, he came running out of the bushes at me, he looked awful and there was no way I was leaving him as the weather was starting to get cold. Took him straight to the vet and he’s been my boy ever since.”
Aaron glances over at you, catching your eye with a smile. “I’ve never owned any animals, unless you count Jack’s goldfish.”
The thought of SSA Aaron Hotchner leaning over a small fishbowl, shaking a container of food has you smiling. “Depends… have you taught him any tricks?”
Aaron laughs, the noise filling up the space pulling your own chuckle from you as he navigates the street, pulling over as a cozy little coffee shop comes into view.
Inside the air is warm and smells heavily of coffee beans and syrups, there’s a small line and behind the bar are workers hurting to and fro with smiles. The menu is above the register, the different selections printed in colorful chalk making both you and Aaron squint to read it.
“What are you thinking?” He asks, placing his hand on your lower back to usher you forward as the line dwindles. “And don’t just say black coffee.” Your glare is met with a sideways smile.
“Um… well something hot.” You can feel his thumb rubbing slow circles through your sweater, and you wonder if he realizes he’s doing it. “Caramel mocha, extra caramel.”
Aaron grins, pressing in closer to your side. “Sound sweet, like you.”
You scoff loudly looking up into his brown eyes. “Sweet like me? That’s like saying your a bag of sunshine and kittens, doesn’t fit does it?”
Aaron’s grin turns devilish, he dips his head to your ear, warm breath scattering across your cheek as he whispers. “Who said I was talking about your attitude?”
Blood pools in your cheeks, your eyes widening as Aaron straightens and nudges you to the counter. He graciously orders for the both of you, your tongue tied and thoughts boiling, but by the time you both sit at a small table all you can manage is; “That was low.”
“Low? Honey that was just me telling the truth.” He smirks at your glare, enjoying the stain on your skin and the way you squirm in your seat.
You fidget with your hands under the table, eyes dipping away. “That wasn’t supposed to happen…”
“The part where you slapped me or the part where we kissed?”
You gape, leaning across the table to whisper vehemently. “We didn’t kiss, you kissed me. And I didn’t slap you on purpose it was just… instinct. You startled me.”
Aaron scoffs light, his gaze flicking to the pick up counter as a young woman calls out another name. “Glad you didn’t have your gun then.” Before you can snap back Aaron’s name is being called and he’s leaving the table. Letting you stew in your anger as he grabs your drinks. When he returns you look up at him, simmering.
“You’re a jerk.”
“I’ve been called much worse, come on let’s go.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Why are we at a shoe store?” Your annoyance leaks into your words as Aaron leads you a few stores down from the coffee shop.
“You need shoes for your dress.” He murmurs, taking a sip of his coffee.
“I have some nice heels at home that would go great with the dress, I don’t need anything else.” You protest, spinning to face him. The street is pretty empty given its a Thursday morning, and you don’t have to fear someone over hearing any potentially scandalous comments.
“Those are at home, you need shoes for dinner tonight… unless you plan on wearing those?” He gives your warn in boots a pointed look, your eyebrows curling in confusion and annoyance.
“When did we agree to go to dinner?”
“When I bought you that dress.”
“That was never brought up!” You pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration.
Aaron snags your elbow, leading you towards the doors. “Well it has been now. We are eating at 7.”
Silently you are screaming every foul name you know at him as the doors close behind you both. A happy voice greats you making your head swivel in the direction of the counters. “Good morning! How can I help you?” A young man, possibly a few year older than you leans on the counter with a toothy grin, his dark skin glowing under the fluorescent lights.
Aaron squeezes your elbow, encouraging you to speak. “I’m looking for a pair of heels is all.” The man’s smile doesn’t waver in the slightest as he stands up straight, beckoning you with a long arm.
“Right this way ma’am.”
“You go ahead, I need to run next door and pick something up for tonight.” Aaron turns away from you and you spin around, your hand resting on your hip as you point your coffee at him.
“First you surprise me with a dinner date and now you’re being secretive?”
Aaron throws you a wink over his shoulder as he leaves the store, the mental image of you hurling your drink at the back of his head leaving your hands trembling.
*~*~*~*~*~*
The store clerk, Donavan, was more than happy to show you the different types of heels he had in stock. He was sweet and genuine, if a little too talkative. You’re sure he wins over every customer that comes in with his charming attitude.
By the time Aaron has made it back you’ve settled on a pair of black strapped heels, nothing too over the top and you can wear them with anything. Aaron meets you at the register, wallet in one hand and a small white bag in the other. Your eyebrows raise.
You thank Donavan again as you both leave, stepping back out into the cold. You can’t take your eyes off of the white plastic bag, your curiosity to enticed. “What is it?”
“Hmm?” Aaron replies, pretending not to notice your obvious stare.
Rolling your eyes you drop your empty cup into a trash can as you walk by, moving the shoe bag to your free hand as you gesture to him. “The bag. What is it?” Aaron ignores you as he fishes for the keys in his oversized coat, your annoyance flaring. “Aaron?”
“Curiosity killed the cat, you know?” The cars alarm beeps once as he unlocks it, walking around to pull your door open.
“Satisfaction brought it back.” You finish pointedly, climbing into the passenger seat. Aaron grins down at you before dropping the bag into your lap. He shuts the door and you wait tensely until he’s in the driver seat to open the gift.
Inside is a large red velvet box, the kind only used for jewelry. Tentatively your fingers trace over the lid before you glance up to Aaron, he’s leaning casually against the center consul, but something is swimming in those dark irises. “Go ahead.”
You stuck in a breath and flip the lid, only to have the air stolen from your lungs entirely. A beautiful silver necklace lays atop white fabric, a circular pendant in the center, encrusted with black gems. Looking closer you can see the chain is weaved with black as well. Your finger traces the cool mental in awe.
“Aaron… this is…”
“I hoped you would like it.” His voice is warm and thick as he watches you pluck the necklace from the box and lay it out in your hand.
“I do… I mean it’s so pretty…” You didn’t own jewelry, not that you didn’t find things pretty, it just was never a for thought with the line or work you did. “Thank you.” You go for the clasp and your eyebrows draw up, an even smaller circle is at the back, a hexagon pressed in it and you turn it over. “How do I unclasp it?”
Aaron reaches over, taking it from you gently along with the box. “You’re welcome, you unclasp it with… this” He pulls out a small tool, and your confusion only grows at the sight of the Allen Wrench. “When most Doms and Subs get into a relationship, or a contract, the sub will usually wear something that signifies that, along with other things. Some wear bracelets or anklets. Some have more prominent pieces like leather collars. This though, is plain enough that no one will question it, but still hold that same significance.”
Aaron unscrews the small bolt, laying it in his large palm, his eyes swirling with something that makes every never in your body fire all at once. “You’re… collaring me?” The disbelief in your voice doesn’t waver him for a second, he simply nods. Your face scrunches up, ready to reject the idea.
“Think of it this way. It will help remind you that I am here for you, you have someone to lean on, to trust in, to go to when you need it. It’s just as much for you as it is for me.”
Your heart pounds in your ears, your attention hyper focused on the delicate chain as he holds it up, the metal catching the sunlight. You don’t say anything in response, you know you’re supposed to be compliant, this is what you’ve agreed to after all; but you can’t stop the feeling of your mouth going dry and your hands beginning to shake.
“So… you want me to wear this all the time?” He nods again, watching you closely. “But I mean… it’s delicate, what if it breaks? And-and everyone knows that I don’t wear jewelry, what if they start asking questions?”
Aaron suddenly squeezes your hand gently, the anxious look on your face pulling at his heart. “You can always lie, say it came from somewhere different, and as this relationship grows we will find things that are more appropriate… but for now, it would make me very happy to see you wear it.”
You mule it over, wagging a silent war in your head as you stare up at him. Slowly you turn away, tilting your head down to make it easier. Aaron slips the chain around your neck, goosebumps rising along your flesh as he fiddles with the lock. A moment later the pendant rests against the base of your throat, a little heavier than you expected.
“Let me see.” When you turn back you fight the urge to shy away from his stare, his eyes molten and turning with lust as his gaze travels from the necklace to your face. “It suits you.” Aaron whispers.
“Yeah well… You have good taste is all.” You mumble, fiddling with the bag in your hands, unsure of what you do with yourself. Warm fingertips press into the sides of your jaw, turning your gaze back to his. Aarons even closer now, practically leaning across the console, the tilt of his lips challenging and dangerous.
“Gonna be my good girl tonight and wear it for me? Give me the chance to show you off.” The drawl of his voice makes your breath hitch, arousal suddenly racing down your spine to settle between your hips. Aaron watches the way your eyes suddenly dilate, the inky blackness expending over the pretty color of your irises. You’re unable to explain the affect of those two simple words as your thoughts slow, your head becoming a little heavier in his palm, but Aaron does. “What do you say?” He prompts with amusement.
“Yes… I mean, no… wait-.” You mentally kick yourself, squeezing your eyes shut to block out your distraction as your gather your scattered thoughts. Aaron chuckles and you wonder if your skin feels as hot under his fingertips as you think it does. “I’ll… I’ll wear it.”
Aaron’s smile only widens, pulling you in across those few mere inches that separate you, pressing a chaff kiss to your lips. “Good girl.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
The sun has started to set outside the windows when Aaron knocks on your door. You’re already standing on the other side, have been for minutes, trying to gain the nerve to actually go through with this. A part of you wants to run and hide under the covers, but you reach for the doorknob anyways.
Aaron glances up from his watch, his eyes widening as he takes you in. You’re radiant, decadent, beautiful, bewitching. Ever name he could possibly think off wouldn’t even come close. Your hair is swept up, a few strands framing your face and showing off the necklace, the only piece of jewelry you have on. The dress is more beautiful now than in the store, the sunset from behind you casting you in a golden glow as you look up at him from beneath long lashes.
“Breathtaking.” His voice is deep and warm as he extends his hand for you. He’s wearing a fitted black suit with a white shirt, classic but striking on him, his raven hair brushed back but the stands at his hairline have slipped forward.
“Thank you.” You place your hand in his, letting him pull you into the hall, where anyone and everyone can now see you. The butterfly’s in your stomach haven’t stopped since you got dressed, and they are only getting worse now that you will be seen in public. Apart of you knows that there isn’t a soul in Boston who knows what is going on, but every time you have stepped out of your hotel you feel as though everyone is privy to your dirty little secret.
“Let’s go eat.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
Like everywhere else Aaron has taken you the last few days, the restaurant he choose is upscale and beautiful. Deep red walls, with golden candelabras and sconces, white table clothes adorned with flickering candles and small vases of lovely flowers. The chairs are comfortable as Aaron helps you sit, your eyes roaming the room in amazement.
The restaurant isn’t crowded, having just opened its doors for the evening, but even then the tables are set far enough apart that there’s no fear of being over heard or disrupted. Aaron smiles as he watches the awe struck look on your face, your gaze fixated on the glass dome ceiling you’re seated under.
“This is… wow…” you laugh breathlessly, unable to find the right words to describe what you are seeing.
“It is… It’s one of my favorite restaurants, actually.” You finally pull your attention from the stars beginning to pepper the night sky, catching Aaron staring unabashedly.
You feel your skin heat under his gaze. “So you come here often then?”
“Any time I am in Boston.”
A man in a dashing suit suddenly appears at your side, a smile on his face and two large black menus in hand. “Good evening, sir and madam. Welcome to Deuxave, my name is James and I will be your server for this evening. May I get other of you started with a drink?”
Aaron gestures for you to go ahead. “Water, please, with lemon.” You smile up at the blond man who nods in return before turning to Aaron.
“I’ll have the same, and a bottle of Chardonnay, please.” James dips his head again, placing your menus down before swiftly turning on his heel. Aaron pauses for a moment, almost looking sheepish. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think to ask if you liked wine.”
You laugh lightly, a noice Aaron savors. “Well, luckily for you, I do enjoy a good white wine. Mainly, though, I stick with water and teas.”
He grins, the flames from the small candle casting shadows across his face, deepening the rugged look he already has. “Good to know.”
A short pause follows as you both regard each other, both of you looking like you are ready to ask a million different questions, and you’re the first to break the ice. “So… how many… relationships have you been in like… this?”
Aaron opens his menu and you follow suit, trying to force down the knot of nerves in your chest. “Three, but I was much younger, and they were already into the lifestyle I was.”
You nod thoughtfully. “Is that… Is that how you meet Haley?” You purposefully keep your gaze glued to the menu, staring at the words but not comprehending anything they say. The knot only growing heavier with your bold questioning.
“No, actually when I meet Haley I completely erased that part of my life. She wasn’t comfortable or understanding of it.”
“Oh.” You dare a glance his way, his expression impassive as he stares at his own menu. “That must of been difficult then. Just getting rid of that part of yourself.”
“It was, but that’s what you do for people.” That you love.
You chew on your lip, needing to change the subject. “What made you decide that you wanted back into it? And why me?”
Aaron licks his lips, contemplating, and your gaze follows the movement. “Because of you. When I saw you that morning on the plane, I only knew you from your file and background records, but watching you squirm and fidget seated between two men when you were so much more lively alone with JJ… something drove me to figure it out. The longer I got to know you, I began to realize you were struggling. You hardly showed emotion but fought to include yourself in the conversation because you feel you have to. Cases with children hit you hard because you’ve had some form of child hood trauma you aren’t willing to unpack, making your soul focus be the case and you neglect yourself. The darkrooms, the hesitation to request something from someone that could be seen as inconvenient-.”
“Okay, okay.” You breath, waving your hands before dropping them into your lap, picking at your already too short nails. “I get it… I didn’t realize I was so easy to read.”
“You aren’t but it’s my job to look for the inobvious. Once I did that it just started to fall into place, I wanted to help you and I could only think of one way how.”
The sincerity in his voice makes your stomach tumble but before you can reply James has returned with your drinks in hand. Once everything is situated on the table he pulls out a little note pad and pen. “Have we looked over the menu or do we need some more time?”
“Oh um…”
“May I?” Aaron asks, and you look up surprised before nodding. “We will have one Spiced Long Island Duck Breast and one Cast Iron New York Strip, medium rare please.”
“Excellent choices.” Once James takes the menus Aaron gives you a sheepish smile.
“I figured we could share.” Your own smile creeps up and you nod. “So… may I ask you some questions now that you have asked a few?”
You knew this was going to happen eventually, but no matter how much you thought you prepared yourself you still feel your heart drop. “Well, it’s only fair.”
“What makes you afraid of the dark?”
‘Oof, okay right to it.’
“Well… it’s not a fear so much now… it’s just very suffocating.” You answer evasively, watching as Aaron pours you both a glass. You swirl the golden liquid before taking a sip, the flavor bursting across your tongue.
“How long has it made you uncomfortable then?”
“Since I was a child.” You shrug a shoulder. “I don’t let it impede on my job though, that’s all that matters.”
“Deflecting isn’t the way to deal with things, Y/n.” He chastises gently. “I won’t judge you, you should know this.”
You stare at the liquor in your hand, watching the low lighting bounce through the glass with the small twists and turns of your wrist. You can feel heat crawling up your neck, as a sickening feeling tears at your stomach, setting you on edge as memories wash over you.
“I was… I was locked into a very small dark space when I was a child…” You don’t need to look at Aaron to know his eyebrows have creased, his eyes squinting in concern. “Ever since then I just found it to be-.”
“Suffocating.” He finishes, his voice soft yet deep, your eyes refusing to meet his intense stare, but you can feel it on your skin. Assessing, calculating, piecing together more about you than you would like.
Before either of you can speak again, James is back, carrying to steaming plates along with his chipper attitude. “I hope you enjoy.”
The next hour is spent talking about much milder topics, picking off of each others plates, sharing old stories and genuinely getting to know one another. You find yourself smiling easier, listening to him talk about his home, his son, his life before the BAU. You share stories of school, the couple down the street that are like your adoptive grandparents, and the books you are currently reading. It’s nice and slow and easy, something you never expected.
“Do you want to get any dessert?”
“Oh, if I take another bite I’ll pop.” You sigh, setting down your third empty glass of wine, feeling the alcohol in your system.
Aaron smiles, standing from his chair with a slight groan. “I’ll be right back, then.” You watch Aaron as he leaves, your eyes again dipping down to his ass and you have to giggle a little at the inappropriate thoughts filling your head.
“Here you are, miss.” James is suddenly beside you, laying the bill book on the table.
“Oh thank you so much. Everything has been wonderful.” You give the man your best smile and he grins back before ducking away. Your eyes go to the little book, your curiosity getting the better of you. Pulling it to you you flip it open and your stomach plummets. ‘$155’ not including tip.
You feel panicky, despite the reassurance of Aaron telling you money isn’t an issue, all you can think about is how much he has spent already. On you none the less. You want to show him you can contribute too.
Mind made up you reach for your wallet, unzipping it to look for your card when suddenly someone is clearing their throat, making you jump in your seat.
Aaron is looking down at you, eyebrows pinched and feature’s suddenly stormy and you really feel your stomach drop out, unease curling in your guts. “What excuse would you like to give me this time?” The rough edge of his voice drags along your skin and you feel suddenly very small sitting below him.
“I… I wanted to repay you for… the clothes and…” Your fingers flutter to your necklace absently at the disappointed look he gives you.
“Up. We’ll pay and then talk about this in private.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
Aaron doesn’t speak on the way back to the hotel, though his face and body are relaxed his hands are white-knuckles on the steering wheel. You fidget in the passenger seat, brushing away loose strands of hair, or plucking at the necklace the longer the silence stretches on. By the time he pulls into the parking deck you feel like your on the verge of a conniption, the fun bubbly feeling of the night dissipated into cramping dread.
He still walks around to your door to help you out after the car has been parked, but as you start to speak he holds up his hand, silencing you. Regret swims through your belly as he leads you inside and to the elevators. He presses the button for the sixth floor, two above your own, your eyebrows creasing.
Lacing his fingers through your own, he pulls you down the hall, stopping in front of a door reading 112. “Aaron?” He doesn’t give you a reply, fishing for his keycard then pulling you inside when the light flickers from red to green with a little beep. You quickly scan the room, the layout the exact same as your own, as Aaron leaves you by the door, shrugging out of his suit coat.
“Are we- are we going to talk?” You can’t tune out the nerves rattling your voice, he glances at you briefly over his shoulder as he undoes his tie, pulling it over his head.
“We are.” He finally faces you once again, his expression hard to read. “We’re going to talk about what will be the appropriate punishment for how you have acted, thus far.”
You didn’t think it was possible for your muscles to tense any further, your heart picking up speed as the thought of running passes through your head. “But… I’m new to this. Doesn’t that allot for some leeway?” Aaron cocks a dark eyebrow, maybe a little stunned, or annoyed, by your bold suggestion.
“Leeway? Darling, I don’t think you understand.” He stalks forward and your fight or flight kicks in, irrationally you move farther into the room, avoiding his advance, your eyes never leaving his. “If I don’t hold up my end, then who’s to say you won’t continue to just break the rules? Act out? You have to be reminded that what you do effects not only yourself but the others around you.”
“Okay, I understand that I messed up, I just… I wanted to return the favor, I’m not use to this.” You gesture in the air between the two of you as you continue to circle away from him as he advances. Aaron’s expression doesn’t change, only setting you more on edge, a cold sweat building under your clothes. “I’ll listen better, I promise.”
Aaron chuckles, a deep dark sound that chills your bones and yet sends a twisted thrill down your spine. “Oh baby girl, that’s not how this works.” He moves closer and you back up, jumping when your back brushes the curtains to the window. “Come here and we will talk.” He cocks a finger in your direction, beckoning you, and you feel the air in your body stand still at the gleam in his eye.
“J-just talk?” You take one tentatively trusting step forward and it’s all the opportunity he needs. Aaron leans forward, snagging your wrist and pulls you between his thighs as he sits on the edge of the bed, steadying you as you wobble in your heels.
“As much as I would like to disagree, you aren’t wrong, being new to all of this does grant you a little leeway.” Then suddenly your view is flipped entirely, you’re no longer staring down at chocolate brown eyes speaker with gold, and hard set features. Instead your hips are pressed into his large thigh, your face smushed against the comforter. “So I will go easy on you.”
That’s when your struggle commences, the adrenaline in your veins kicking you into gear as you plant your hands and push against the bed, desperate in your attempt to get up. But Aaron’s hand is suddenly planted against the back of your neck, his free leg thrown over yours, caging you in and you feel the wild thump of your heart rocket into over time.
“Aaron, let me up!”
“I plan to, but you’re going to listen to me first.” His other hand smooths over the curve of your ass, paralyzing you as the foreign feeling washes over your fraying nerves. “Good girl, just calm down and listen to me.” His honey dipped voice combined with the simple nickname makes your thighs squeeze, your thoughts scatter, and Aaron doesn’t miss a second of it.
“O-okay.”
Aaron stays quiet for a moment longer, watching his own hand brush up and down the swell of your ass, need unfurling in his belly. “You’ve broken a few of your rules, and then there’s the matter of you slapping me.”
“I really didn’t mean to…” You whisper meekly, staring at the curtains across from you, trying to shift your head where he has you pinned at.
“Yes but you never apologized either.”
“Oh.”
“So I think you will find this fair. We will keep it simple, your first punishment is that I will choose your clothing for the next week, starting tomorrow. Deal?” Your face burns, much like the area between your legs is starting to. You squirm against his thigh before nodding your understanding. “I need to hear your voice, little one.”
“Y-yes.”
He squeezes your thigh in approval, resuming the slow stroke. “That will cover all of the minor mistakes you have made. As for the slap, and you trying to pay for dinner… I’m going to spank you.”
Your panic explodes in your chest, your fight returning with a vengeance only to have Aaron’s grip tighten, his leg pressing down heavier. You knew Aaron was strong, had witnessed it many times, but this felt inhumane as you squirm and kick what little you can. “Don’t you dare-.”
“Your safe word is red. Say it at any point and everything stops.”
“W-what?” You don’t have time to process what he said before a sharp slap is delivered to your ass. You yelp, your hand finding his knee and crushing his pants leg in your fist as you jolt with the shock of it.
“Aaron!”
Two more are delivered in quick succession, pain growing quickly as your skin stings and burns through your dress. “I don’t make these rules passively, they are for your benefit and mine. What I say goes.” Three more follow his reprimand, and you twist your face into the bedspread, whining loudly as tears collect behind your eyelids.
“Q-quit!” You gasp as he lands a particularly painful spank to your right cheek, the burn of it traveling up your spine making you feel ditzy, then back down again to pool in your panties. “It hurts!”
“That’s the point, baby.” You shake against him, squirming relentlessly only causing his fingers to travel into the hairs at the base of your skull, twisting there and pulling your head up, immobilizing you. “Keep fighting me and I’ll double it, do you understand me?” Three more follow and you can’t help but to cry out, the noise bouncing off the walls and you wonder briefly if there’s anyone who can hear you through them.
His threat breaks through the frenzied mess in your head, your body going slack and he eases his grip on your hair, letting your head rest against the comforter. “Shh, good girl. You’re doing good baby.” The praise in his sultry tone makes a moan well up in your throat, and your helpless to stop it. Aaron grins, his hand trailing down to your thigh, slipping into the slit of your dress, pulling the material up to pool around your waist.
“N-no, wait…” Your protest is weak, but you don’t move to cover yourself from his steady gaze, embarrassment settling in your belly as his hand glides over your bare skin. Aaron groans softly, watching your leg twitch slightly as he brushes his hand again over your tender skin.
Aaron lands another forceful smack to the cup of your ass, and you squeal. You press your hand against your mouth, squeezing your eyes shut as the warm feeling in your stomach slowly grows into a blaze. “Let me hear you sweetheart, you only have a few more to go.”
You shake your head, defiant and unyielding, but only until his palm connects with your skin once more. Your hand does a poor job of muddling your shrill cry, pressure forming in your throat and behind your eyes as the first tear finds its way through your closed eyelids, trailing down your cheek. Your thoughts are pulled into a thousand different directions, the pain tugging them one way, while the throbbing of your clit sends them the other. Your arousal is slick against the inside of your thighs, and you squirm at the feeling.
“Easy baby, you’re taking your punishment so well.” Two more follow and you sob into your palm, the noise unmistakably in the otherwise quiet room. “I know baby, just one more and we’re done.” Aaron’s own palm stings, but his gaze is fixated on the shape of his hand print forming on your once creamy cheeks, with each shudder and twitch of your hips he can feel his cock hardening to the point it’s almost painful.
His promise though does little to quell you anticipation, your body tensing to the point it hurts, fingers having lost their feeling minutes ago from your iron like grip on his pants. Aaron drags it out, brushing his knuckles along the back of your thigh, his fingers scratching softly at your neck where his grip has loosened; your struggle having died to nothing.
The last smack is the most painful, his arm having been drawn back, putting more of his weight into it and you nearly scream, his hand landing more on your thigh. Tears rush down your cheeks, trailing dark streaks of mascara and eyeliner, your embarrassment consuming you like a fire, because as much as it hurts, your body is humming with need.
Aaron makes a sound that is more akee to a growl, his fingertips brushing the growing pool of arousal on the soft skin of your thighs. “Oh baby… you’re absolutely soaked.”
You shake your head aggressively in denial. “No… no it’s not what you think… I’m not-.” Aaron only shushes you, fingers slipping further between your shaking thighs, trailing over your damp panties right along your slit. You gasp, the soft sound followed by a deeper moan, as the pad of his middle finger circles your clit.
“I told you some people like this, baby.” His voice is octaves deeper, your hips bucking at the sound as he continues drawing slow, tight circles over your bundle of nerves. “And you really like this, don’t you?” His question is left unanswered as he add another finger, your jaw falling open with another needy moan.
Aaron’s movements are steady and precise, never faltering as his thumb scrapes down the edge of your thong, easily moving it to the side. The new view has his mouth salivating, your pussy glistening with arousal in the low light, and as he presses the solo digit against your puffy lips you moan louder. Your hips rock back subconsciously, your hands flexing where your anchored to; and all Aaron can think is that he will do anything to hear those pretty sounds for the rest of his life.
“Oh fuck… Aaron…” You gasp as his thumb dips in and out, the pace of his fingers speeding up. It’s shameful, sinful even how quickly you feel your body coming to its peak just from his expert fingers. Quicker than you’ve ever gotten yourself off and under the mushy part of your thoughts that are too far gone you wonder how he knows your body so well.
“That’s it, take what you need baby.” His cock twitches in his slacks, your hip rubbing across him with each twitch and jolt of your thighs as you rock yourself against his hand. He can feel the clench of your cunt more frequently, your orgasm right there. “I want to see you cum for me, you can do that can’t you? Cum for me, baby.”
You physically feel yourself topple over the edge, you body going still with a whimpering cry as your orgasm floods you like a tidal wave. Aaron’s praising you from above but you’re too far gone to recognize what he’s saying as his fingers haven’t stopped, making you ride out your orgasm for as long as possible.
It’s only when you start to plead with him, your voice wispy and tired, does he ease off. He gently moves your panties back into place, before he leans over you, tugging your shoes off and letting them land to the floor with a soft thud. “Do you think you you can stand up?”
Your brain hasn’t caught up yet, your thoughts empty from your head, but you let Aaron guide you to your feet, your knees wobbling and he holds you still for as long as you need. He rubs your hip with one hand, the other resting on your waist as he looks up at you. Your eyes are red and glassy, your makeup ruined, “let’s get you cleaned up.”
Aaron takes you into the small restroom, letting you lean against the doorframe as you watch him absently. He wets a rag and adds a little soap before gently wiping away your makeup, one hand holding your chin as he works. You don’t say anything, there’s nothing you can conjure up so you both sit in silence, the only sound is the small sniffles you give.
He throws the rag into the sink when he’s done, pulling you off the wall and turning you around. He unzips the back of your dress, laying a kiss to the exposed skin of your shoulder before he steps out of the restroom, returning moments later with a big white t-shirt. He hands it to you, stepping out again to let you change in private. Your body goes through all the motions but your mind is left far behind as Aaron guides you out of the bathroom and to the bed.
Gingerly you climb in, not realizing how exhausted you truly are until you settle against the cool pillows, your eyes falling shut with a heavy sigh. Soon the other side of the bed dips, a warm body pressing against your back and an arm wrapping around your waist, securing you against him.
*~*~*~*~*~*
I know this took absolutely forever please don’t crucify me 😂 thank you once again for all the love and support that has been shown for this series! Please if you’d like to be tagged you can comment below or message me directly 💜💜 much love and appreciation
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Actions and Consequences
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven
Summery: She’s reserved, emotionally cut off, and spiraling down a dark path; one she can’t get out of on her own. Aaron Hotchner may be her only help, but at what cost? When he shows up to her hotel room, contact in hand, she realizes it may be more than what she bargained for.
Warning: 18+ Only MDNI SMUT. Language, BDSM, Dom Aaron, emotionally detached reader, typical CM violence, childhood trauma, abusive father figure, age gap (reader 25 Aaron 40) doesn’t line up with a specific time line, use of Y/n because story is set in 3rd person for the first half then switches POV, last name for reader is Smith,
Specific Chapter Warnings: implied sex (between reader and ex-boyfriend) past boyfriend being rough and mean to reader, eating, official set up of dynamic and rules, a little bit of spicy for you guys 💋(hint)
7 Years Ago
“Two more weeks… I can’t believe it.” Y/n sighs, leaning her head against the shoulder of the boy laying beside her. He smiles, passing a hand over the top of her head, smoothing down her static hair.
“We’re going to be graduates… fuck it’s crazy.” She cranes her neck, smiling as she meets green eyes. He leans forward, pecking her lips quickly. “Alright, let me up. My moms gonna be home soon.” Y/n rolls over, taking the black sheet with her as he climbs out of bed, searching for his shorts.
“Good, I need to help her finish the desserts for your party tomorrow.” After months of hopping from one house to the next, Y/n has finally been able to settle into the guest bedroom of her boyfriend’s family home with what little belongings she owns. She sits up, letting the sheet fall around her hips as she snags her t-shirt and leggings off the floor.
“Oh yeah? What y’all making?” He tugs on his tank top, running his hand through his spiky blond hair as he eyes the naked expanse of her back.
Y/n shrugs, pulling on her shirt before slipping into her leggings. “Um I think a lemon cake.” The young man flops onto the bed and she laughs, laying back down beside him, her fingers twining together to rest over her stomach.
“I do like lemon.”
She rolls her eyes with a smile, “Trust me, everyone knows Trever.” He nudges her with his elbow and she laughs, a joy filled sound she’s finally getting use to.
“God, I can’t wait, finally get out of high school and we can just… do whatever. Well I mean I’ve got collage next fall but still.” Trever sighs blissfully before turning to look at his girlfriend. “Gonna come be my secret roommate? Get me in all kinds of trouble.”
“You wish,” Y/n scoffs, nudging him back. “You know my classes start a semester before yours.” Trever stays silent for a moment, Y/n staring up at the ceiling unaware of the change in his once easy expression.
“You’re still serious about that?” The question catches her off guard, her head turning to look at him. His face is pinched, like he can’t believe her. Y/n sits up, turning to face him fully.
“Y-yeah… Trever I’ve been serious about this. It’s the whole reason I work three jobs and bust my ass in school every week.”
He pushes himself up, leaning against his head board. “Look, babe, I’m not trying to be mean here but… do you really think you can do it? You’re talking about the FBI here… they don’t just take anyone. Especially…” He hesitates and her temper flares, her eyes narrowing.
“Especially, what?”
Sighing he gestures to her with a splayed hand, “Ya know… little country girls who don’t really know what they are doing. If you really want to work somewhere that makes you feel like you’re making a difference, why not go for something you’re almost guaranteed a job?” His expression shifts like he’s had the most brilliant idea, ignoring the obvious hurt growing across Y/n’s features. “911 dispatcher! You won’t even have to waste your money on-.”
“Fuck you.” She spits, standing and marching from the room, anger filling her chest to the point it almost hurts.
“Hey! Don’t talk to me like that!” Trever follows her out into the hallway, grabbing her by the shoulder as they reach the top of the stairs. She spins and shoves him, but he plants his feet, gripping her painfully by the shoulders. “Don’t you ever fucking talk to me like that again. Not in my goddamn house. You’re lucky my parents are even letting you stay here and you’re gonna act like that?” He shakes her harshly, her teeth slamming together making pain shoot up her jaw.
“At least your parents fucking believe in me! Your moms the one that paid off the rest of my entrance fee last week!” She struggles against him, her hands pushing at his chest but his fingers dig into her muscles. His face reddens but before he can say anything the front door swings open. A short, black haired woman stares up at them in confusion, her mouth open slightly.
Trever steps back quickly and Y/n moves down the stairs, keeping her eyes on her so-called boyfriend. “What is going on? I could hear you screaming from the front porch.” She closes the door behind her, her many bracelets tinkling with the movement as she sets her purse down on the landing.
“Nothing, Mrs. Dwayne.” Y/n says quietly, moving down the stairs until she is beside the woman. “I need to go to work…”
“I thought you were going to bake with me dear?” The sad look that passes across the older woman’s brown eyes makes Y/n’s throat constrict, that hated feeling of pinpricks forming in her nose. In the past five months of her relationship with Trever, Mrs. Dwayne has been nothing short of a mother figure to Y/n. Teaching her to cook, to clean, showing her the basic skills of life without so much as a disgruntled look. She didn’t want to hurt her now.
“I-I will.. I mean I am… I just. I need to go get something for work, I mean. I’ll be back.” Before Mrs. Dwayne or Trever can say a word Y/n is bolting out the front door, towards her run down car, rage and devastation simmering in her chest so heavily she can’t think anymore. The need to be anywhere but here propelling the car into motion.
She wouldn’t break down here, not where anyone could find her, when she’s alone she’ll let the tears run freely and her sobs fill the empty space around her.
Present Day
The rest of Tuesday had crept by silently, nothing like the first half of the day. You had joined Aaron for dinner in the dining room, where he informed you he had a few conference calls to make in the morning and he would check on you when he was done. That was many hours ago.
You had been awake long before the sun rose behind charcoal clouds, listening to the rain pelt your window relentlessly. You sit propped against your pillows, lost in deep thought… shameful deep thoughts. Most of your night was spent tossing and turning, what little sleep you did get wasn’t filled with the usual empty darkness, or the occasional bad dream; instead Aaron had taken up every unconscious thought.
You had dreamt of his hands on your body, much like the day before, only this time there was even less in between his burning palms and your skin. You could feel the reverberation of unheard words from his chest into your back, his hands slipping up, up, up cupping your breasts through your bra. His hips ground against your back, the buckle of his belt biting into your skin as his erection pressed against the swell of your ass. Then his palm began to travel lower, straight to your-
You shake your head fiercely, before smothering yourself with a pillow, groaning loudly. You stay like that for a few long minutes, desperately trying to ignore the ache between your thighs until it becomes to much. Throwing the pillow across the room you climb out of bed and head straight for the bathroom, determined a scalding shower would set your mind right.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Steam billows out of the room after you, a scratchy towel wrapped tight around your body, another holding your hair in place atop your head. The skin along the tops of your shoulders and breasts glow pink, having used the hot water liberally. You make your way over to the bags you had placed on the floor last night, grabbing the closest one and rummaging through it.
Something smooth and soft slips against your hand and you grab it, pulling it free of the wadded up clothing. Realizing you should really organize everything before it all becomes a wrinkled mess. Dropping the bag you unfold a Champaign colored silk night gown. It’s simple, a trim of lace adorns the bodice and it reaches about the middle of your thighs, a small slit up both sides. You can’t remember Aaron ever placing it in the cart otherwise you’d of protested.
A large part of you doesn’t want to wear it, or any of the clothing for that matter. That part was called shame. Shame that he had so easily talked you into letting him buy you all of these clothes, better yet talked you into this whole mess in the first place.
But another part of you, the one that really did not want to wear the same sweats again for the 8th day in a row, won the battle. With a defeated sigh you change into the gown. It’s hugs your body, accentuate your curves and clinging to your damp skin. It’s soft, comfortable, and smells clean, that’s all that matters to you.
You grab your over night bag, pulling out your iPod and headphones before crawling back into bed. You set up your computer to finish working, before pressing play on the little pink device and popping in an ear bud. Your phone buzzes on the nightstand only once, but you ignore it, instead typing away on your computer.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Morning slowly rolls into lunch, a half eaten croissant sandwich lays on your nightstand as you dutifully work, bobbing your head in time to the music.
‘What’s in your head, in your head? Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie-ie, oh’
Something connects with your door, the sound reverberating through the room making you scream. You rip out your ear bud, holding your breath as a series of knocks rattle your door, making your stomach swoop and drop all at once. Slowly you move from your bed to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open a crack. Aaron’s usual hard stare greets you, but his cheeks are tinged red, his lips pressed into a thin line. A shudder wracks through your body at the intensity of his stare, your palms feeling clammy against the door handle.
“Um… hi?” He doesn’t say a word as he wraps a hand around the door, forcing it open and you out of his way as he barges inside. “Hey!”he stops in the middle of the room, one hand on his hip and the other rubs at his forehead. He’s dressed in a darker pair of blue jeans this time, paired with a black collard shirt, probably more appropriate for his conference calls.
“Does your phone not work, or have you just been-.” Aaron turns then and whatever annoyed tyrant he was about to go on dies on his tongue at the sight of you. You’re standing at the door, eyebrows raised and eyes a little wide in panic, but it’s not your expression that stops him. His eye dip to your body, noticing what you’re wearing and something in his stomach stirs at the sight. The dress is stretched around your body, specifically across your stomach, an indent where your belly button is. Your hips are accentuated and he realizes with a small thrill that the fabric is just barely see through as he gaze travels from your breasts to your face.
“Fuck.” He breaths out, and a shiver skirts down your spine at the rumble of his voice, blooming into something warm and fuzzy between your hips. Aaron slowly makes his way to you, and this time you stay rooted to the carpet, your chin lifting and the back of your head bumping against the door as he stops a few mere inches in front of you. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
Aaron reached up, dragging his knuckle across your spaghetti strap, brushing across your collarbone where it stops on the curve of your neck. He cups the side of your neck, half of his palm resting against your jaw as his thumb sweeps back and forth. That warm and fuzzy feeling has caught fire, burning with a demanding intensity that leaves you reeling.
“My… My phone?” You ask absently, anything to change the direction of what might happen, his dark eyes snap to yours and you wish you had never spoken, anger and lust swirl together in his irises, his pupils dilated.
“Your phone,” He repeats, head tilting slightly as if he couldn’t quite remember what he came here for. “Were you ignoring me?”
You shake your head, then rethink his question. “Well… no not outright. I was working and in my head space, I remember my phone going off a few times but I honestly didn’t think about it.”
Aaron can only find honesty in the doe eyed look you’re giving him. “That’s two, sweetheart. You need to be more attentive.” Your eyebrows furrow, your soft gaze shifting to something hard as you glare up at the older man.
“Be more attentive? If you really needed me you could of just called. I was busy doing work, I still am.” You snap, gesturing towards your bed. He keeps his hand firm on your neck as he turns, glancing at your open laptop and he can faintly hear your music playing. “And what do you mean by two? Why do you keep counting?”
His thumb presses against the bottom of your chin, tilting your head further back and the pressure makes you squirm. He turns back with a small smile, something impish laying behind it. Aaron ducks down closer and you go still, his breath fanning over your lips and you can smell the tingling scent of mint.
“I did. Twice in fact. I’m counting the amount of times you break your rules, how ever many that is will help us decide what your punishment will be.” Aaron watches the blush slowly form across your cheeks before it seeps down your neck underneath his hand. He would be a lier if he said the effect he was having on you didn’t go both ways.
“We didn’t agree on any punishments, and how can I break a rule I didn’t know about?” You utter, quietly, your eyes betraying you and dropping away from his stare. Aaron smirks, nodding as he smooths his hand down to your collarbone, feeling the wild thump of your heart through your skin.
“That’s why I’m here. We’re going to discuss everything. Over lunch.” He steps back leaving you glued to the door staring at him baffled. “What are you in the mood for? We’ll order something in instead of risking the weather.” And as if the sky could hear his wise judgment a roll of thunder shakes the building. You squeeze your eyes shut until the noise dies off and the only thing that can be heard is the rain splattering against the window once more.
Aaron watches you, gaining a new piece of information, before walking towards the nightstand where the muted green hotel phone lays. He notices your half eaten breakfast sandwich and mutters something you can’t quiet hear.
“Um.. pizza?”
“Pizza it is.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
Not long after a steaming pepperoni and sausage is sitting on your dresser. Aarons posted in the chair again and you’re perched on the foot of the bed, picking at the melted cheese glancing your boss’s way every now and again.
“You look like you have something you want to say.” Aaron says, taking a large bite of his slice. Your shoulder rises and falls, watching him openly now. He wipes his mouth with a napkin, leaning back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him look so… human. This is the same man you’ve witnessed stand his ground against men ready to kill, talk down others who are ready to end it all; protect his team with a fierceness that goes unmatched by any other. It’s hard to think of him as anything else besides SSA Hotchner, but right here… is just Aaron.
“I don’t know… I guess I’m still trying to wrap my head around this.” You admit, biting into your lower lip. “Everything is just… it’s such a sudden change and hasn’t been easy to get use to.”
Aaron smile is pitying at best and you want to convince yourself you hate it. “I know baby. You’ll get there, though. We have the entire month to smooth everything out and come to understand each other better.” The loose use of different pet names makes your insides bubble with craved affection, shame tinting your skin. “Are you ready to talk?”
“I don’t really have a choice do I?”
“You do, at any point you can call it off, but you know exactly where that leads.” His tone is all to knowing of your decision and you huff, scrubbing your hands across your face. He takes your silence as reluctant agreeance, pulling out his phone. “Last night I came up with some rules, punishments and rewards that I think will suit you and I the best.” He taps away at his phone for a few seconds before continuing. “The first, simple, call me Aaron when it’s just the two of us. Second, don’t doubt me when I say I am buying you something or taking you somewhere. Money is not an issue. Third-.”
“Answer my phone at your beck and call?” The sarcastic question sort of fell from your lips, causing Aaron’s eyes to narrow as he sets his paper plate down on the pizza box.
“Third.” He emphasizes, drawing out the word. “Check in with me. I need to know you are okay, if you’ve made it where you are going, if there is anything you need. It’s important that you do so.”
“That’s going to be hard to do when we will be on cases and working.” You point out, picking apart your pizza and taking small bites of the greasy dough.
“That’s why all of these rules are moldable to how we live. Work is for work, but some things will still apply. Like making sure you are eating, drinking plenty of water, getting rest when you can. After hours, when it’s just us, I expect you to follow your rules completely.” He watches the way you pluck off the pepperonis, setting them off to the side. “Punishments won’t be a daily thing like it is with others. We can pick a day where we sit and go over everything you’ve done wrong for the week, then decide your punishment from there. I have a few ideas such as choosing your clothing for the week, have your write lines, have you kneel for an extended period of time.”
Your nose scrunches, the next thing your peeling from your pizza is the little balls of sausage. “That all sounds a bit childish.”
“You aren’t wrong. But you’d be surprised how childish a person can act when given rules.” You roll your eyes making him chuckle. “Just like that.” You shoot him a halfhearted glare that he returns with a smile. “But if you’ve been a brat all day, disobeying me and forgetting your rules multiple times, then I may need to resort to something a bit harsher. Putting you over my knee, bondage, collar.” He watches your face flush, eyes going wide like a full moon. “Even then. It’s more so about the embarrassment than it is ever about the pain. Some people find these things enjoyable.”
“You can’t be serious.”
Aaron’s smile takes on a more devious twist, letting his head rest against his fist as he props his arm on the chair. “Maybe you’ll just have to find out.”
You stare at him in shock, your half deconstructed pizza laying forgotten in your lap as your insides burn. Your mind betrays you, questions popping up like wildfires; what would it feel like? Would he leave marks on your skin? Would you enjoy it like he says?
Stammering you drop your gaze from his, his smile never fading as he searches the soft planes of your face, forcing himself not to look any lower than your exposed collarbones and the gentle slope of your shoulders. You set your plate to the side, crossing then uncrossing your legs, the bed creaking as you try to sort through your thoughts. “Can um… can I ask you something?”
“Always.”
“Does David know? And if so is there anyone else?”
Aaron nods, then quickly raises his hands at the look of panic crossing your features. “David is the only one who knows, and that’s not because I told him out right.” Your panic quickly melts into confusion. “David is the one who suggested I bring up a contract with you.”
Your jaw drops, absolutely flabbergasted. “Wait.. David’s… he’s into this?” Aaron nods again, letting you piece together what you will with that crumb of information. “Oh… so… that means the two do you were talking about me.”
Aaron laughs, a deep pleasant sound. “I promise, it wasn’t anything like you might think. We are just worried, and he thought it would be more appropriate coming from me than him.” Despite his humor you can feel panic rising steadily in your chest.
“Ho- Aaron what if someone finds out?”
“There isn’t any reason for anyone to know.”
The iron grip of your blooming panic wraps itself around your throat, your body humming with a desperate need to move and open your lungs. You stand from the bed and begin to pace the small area, passing Aaron with each turn on your heel.
“What if one of us slips up? The amount of trouble we could get into is-it’s astronomical. I’d be forced out of my job because I’m suddenly a woman who sleeps with their boss. You would be forced to resign but of course they’ll go easy on you-.”
“Honey-.”
“-Even if it doesn’t get to that point, the entire team will see me differently. They will question the authenticity of my role and my job. Oh God, and Morgan would be relentless with the teasing.”
“Y/n.”
“He still calls me señorita after I messed up my order at that Mexican restaurant a month ago! He’d never let us-.” Aaron leans forward, capturing your wrist as you walk by with a sharp tug. Pain laces up your already tense muscles and on instinct you turn, your hand lashing out and connecting with the side of Aaron’s face.
Everything goes silent, both of you stuck staring at the other in shock. “I-I’m… I didn’t mean-.” Aaron pulls you down and you clumsily fall into him, knee banging against the chair; your free hand landing on his shoulder. Aaron wraps a hand around the back of your neck, squeezing and before you can utter a word his lips crash into yours.
A muffled squeal escapes the back of your throat, squirming in his tight hold but it proves useless as his other hand drops your wrist, circling the back of your thigh and pulling you fully into his lap. Thighs caging his hips, chest pressed tight against his you squeeze your eyes shut. Aaron depends the kiss, moving his lips against yours allowing a few whimpering syllables to reach the air.
Your heart hammers painfully, your hands gripping at his shoulders but to your surprise you find your body relaxing. Every panicked thought is eclipsed by Aaron as his tongue slowly traces the seem of your lips, asking for entrance that you hesitantly give. But once you get your first taste of him you know you’re gone for, a soft moan rattles through your chest and Aaron devours it, licking into your mouth like a man starved.
His rough hand slips up your thigh, mindful to stay over your dress as it rides up, to cup your ass, squeezing the fat making your hips jump. The involuntary movement makes you grind down against him, pulling out another moan that is quickly followed by one of his own. He is all you can focus on, the fingers in your hair at the base of your skull, the growing bulge pressing into your heated core, the way the side of his nose bumps into yours. His thighs shift, sliding you further into his lap with a ragged groan.
Slowly, almost unwillingly you pull back, sucking in deep lungfuls of air. He gives you the silent moment you need, his fingers scratching your scalp slightly as you try to compose yourself atop him. He can’t stop the way his eyes roam to your lips though, the short taste of you forever imbedded in his brain.
When you finally let your eyes flutter open you meet his half lidded gaze, you lick your lips. “I-I need some time alone…”
*~*~*~*~*~*
Two hours later your phone buzzes on the nightstand, you glance at it from where you lay, curled up on your side in bed. Your fingers keep tracing your kiss swollen lips, unable to stop thinking about anything else. Grabbing your phone you roll onto your other side, opening your texts.
A new message from Aaron pops up, and your thumb hovers over the screen, your stomach churning with anticipation. Clicking the screen a long message pulls up.
‘Let me know what you want to change, my sweet girl.’
A smile tugs at your lips without your permission, cheeks reddening as you read over the list of rules, rewards, and punishments that follow. At the very end, boldened followed by a question mark is the word:
‘Spanking?’
You take a deep breath, sealing your fate with a few clicks of your keyboard.
Thank you all for the amount of love this has received 😭 I can’t wait to continue writing the rest of this story. Please comment below if you would like to be added to the tag list!
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Let’s Start With The Basics
Part one, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six , Part Seven
Summery: She’s reserved, emotionally cut off, and spiraling down a dark path; one she can’t get out of on her own. Aaron Hotchner may be her only help, but at what cost? When he shows up to her hotel room, contact in hand, she realizes it may be more than what she bargained for.
Warning: 18+ Only MDNI SMUT. Language, BDSM, Dom Aaron, emotionally detached reader, typical CM violence, childhood trauma, abusive father figure, age gap (reader 25 Aaron 40) doesn’t line up with a specific time line, use of Y/n because story is set in 3rd person for the first half then switches POV, last name for reader is Smith,
Specific chapter warnings: blood, Reader eating, (probably incorrect) child psych evaluation, BDSM dynamic discussion, clothes shopping with the one and only Hotchner, mentioned rules and punishments, Rossi is in this chapter, mentions of Jake but not shown, a little sugar daddy Hotch?? Let me know if I’ve missed anything 💜
*~*~*~*~*~*
11 years ago
“I’m-I’m so sorry, daddy.” She cries, his grip on her wrist only tightening as she’s dragged across the hardwood floor. Her chipped nails dig into his meaty hand, trying to pry herself free the closer they get to the bathroom.
“Useless, useless fucking girl. Can’t do a damn thing right.” The smoke alarm screams behind them, smoke filling the room from the burning pan on the stove. He staggers on his feet, tugging her forward and her socks sliding across the floor. “Can’t even make my fucking dinner!” He barks, his glossy eyes staring down at her as they reach the door.
“I didn’t… I didn’t mean to.” A nasty sneer pulls at his chapped lips, showing yellow teeth behind a greying beard. “I can fix it, please I can.” She begs louder her eyes never leaving the door, the darkness beyond beckoning her into its grasp.
He pushes the door open, the hinges squealing as light floods the dilapidated room. Sections of the drywall are missing, revealing the pink insulation. The once white tiles are now brown, stained with years of dust and dirty, jagged and broken in many places.
“You’ll never be like your mother.” His voice is thick with grief, he’s looking at his daughter but not seeing her, instead he sees the hole his wife had left behind. “Never even wanted a daughter. Shoulda been a boy.” He propels her forward, flinging her into the room and she lands on the floor with a scream. A piece of tile coming loose, slicing deep into her thigh, blood pooling on the floor underneath her.
“Ah!” She cries, scrambling to sit up her hands slipping in the red mess underneath her. She grips at her leg, pieces of the tile sticking out of her pale flesh. “Daddy… I… ah it hurts!” She glances up at her father, his form silhouetted against the light. Her hands, sticky and covered in crimson, shake harshly as tears begin to slip along her cheeks. “Please help me.”
The door closes solidly, trapping her once more in her own hell.
Present Day
You sit rubbing at your thigh absentmindedly, the scars throbbing dully, and you wonder if it’s just all in your head. A knock at your door sets you into motion, pulling your thoughts together with a firm shake of your head. Aaron greets you with a soft smile, and your eyebrows raise in surprise. He’s dressed in a simple white long sleeve, and dark blue jeans, the most casual you’ve ever seen him.
“I didn’t know you owned anything other than a suit.” You step past him, pulling the door shut and pocketing the keycard.
“There’s a lot you’ll learn about me.” His voice holds a hint of mischief as he places a warm hand on your lower back, walking you towards the elevators a few doors down. “Come, Rossi already has our table.”
You pull up short, making him stop beside you. “Rossi? I-I thought you said we were… um… discussing what we had agreed to last night.”
“And we will, once David has left. He won’t be staying long.” Aaron starts walking again, pulling you along with him. He presses the button on the small panel and the elevator dings, metal doors sliding open. You take a deep breath before stepping in.
*~*~*~*~*~*
The steam from the eggs curl into the air as you sit down next to the older Italian man. He smiles warmly, and some of your tension starts to melt away. That is until Aaron joins you.
“That’s not all you are eating?” He sets down his plate, giving you his best ‘unit chief’ stare, his frown so deep the lines in his forehead stand out more prominently. Out of the corner of your eye Rossi smirks into his coffee but stays silent otherwise.
“It’s all I want.” You say dismissively, picking up your fork, going to stab a chunk of eggs when suddenly the plate is pulled off the table. “Hey!” But Aaron is already walking towards the breakfast buffet, huffing you slouch in your seat, knowing you look like a scolded child.
“Off to a rocky start, huh?” Your head snaps up in David’s direction, but he’s focused on the newspaper on the table. It’s opened to the daily crossword puzzle and he’s only filled in half of the blocks, his pen tapping against the table top.
“What do you mean by that?”
His honey brown eyes slide to yours, a dark eyebrow raised suggestively. You flush, heat rising to your cheeks so fast you think you might combust. He knows, and if Rossi knows, who else might be privy to your secret? Anger is suddenly building in the bottom of your stomach when a warm hand wraps around your own. “He didn’t tell me, but it wasn’t hard for an old pro to figure it out. Aaron’s only doing this to help you, there’s no shame in accepting it.”
Aaron suddenly sits across from you, setting down a plate filled with fruits and vegetables, a steaming bowl of oatmeal as the centerpiece. The aroma is heavenly as it wafts into the air, making your stomach grumble and your mouth water. “How do you know I like oatmeal?”
“Who do you think keeps the instant stuff stocked in the bullpen’s kitchen?” He smirks, watching your eyebrows furrow, before you give in, stabbing the gooey food. He digs into his own plate asking Rossi what he will be doing until it’s time to go home.”
I have an old buddy that lives just a town over, I figured now is as good a time as any to pay him a visit.” He finishes off his coffee with a sigh, scribbling in a few more letters.
“What time do we leave?” You chip in, looking to Aaron expectantly.
“Friday morning.” Hesitation drops on your shoulders like a ton of bricks, realizing that you will be alone with Aaron for three days, trying to make sense of your new dynamic. At the look of alarm on your face David asks if you’re okay.
“Y-yes I’m fine. I need to call my boarder though. See if they can watch my dog for that much longer.”
This time it’s the men who look surprised. “A dog?”
“Bruce, my six year old boxer.” You had found him wandering the trail you jogged one morning, just a scrawny little pup covered in fleas and dirt. He had walked right up to you, tail wagging so hard you thought he might fall over. Bruce had climbed up right into your arms and you knew from that day on you two would be inseparable.
“Huh.” Rossi nods, “I always pinned you for a cat girl.”
“I guess the profilers aren’t always right.” You jab with humor, smiling at him.
He laughs, shaking his head as he gathers his newspapers. “Correct you are, my dear. I’ve got to head out, you two don’t kill each other while I’m gone.” He gives you a pointed look and you shrug, feigning innocence. He bids Aaron goodbye and as he walks past he leans down, a hand on your shoulder. “Just follow the rules, kiddo.” You watch him leave, and you feel most of your ease go with him. When you turn back to the table Aaron is watching you intently.
“What?”
“I always thought you would of had something a little more exotic.”
You shrug your shoulder, leaning back in your seat. “I guess there’s a lot you’ll learn about me as well.” You throw his words back at him but he catches them well.
“Are you ready to begin?”
You set your fork down, and despite the apprehension filling your stomach you pull your shoulders back with a nod. Aaron pulls out the papers, setting them in the middle of the table. “Were you able to read any of this last night?”
You shake your head, gesturing to the paragraphs before you. “Not any of this, no… but i did skim over the rules.”
Picking the papers up you start reading as Aaron speaks. “It’s simply a legal statement protecting both of us. It states you have given your consent to the relationship, and that I will only ever do anything set within your boundaries. You will follow our established rules, which most likely won’t be what’s listed, these are just guide lines. Also that I won’t use my authority to abuse you or harm you in anyway.”
“And… this is supposed to help me, how? Just follow the rules and I’ll be right as rain?”
He frowns at your sarcasm but you hold his stair, jaw set. “When someone joins the military, they have everything provided for them. Housing, food, clothes, tools to which get the job done. These are all things that they no longer need to worry about, taking the stress off of their plates and letting them focus on their jobs and other aspects of their lives.”
You begin to understand where he is going with this, your eyes dropping away before looking back. “This is essentially what I will be doing for you. I will provide you with what you need, so that you can live your life a little easier, better yourself in both your personal life and your professional.”
“What do you mean by provide?” Your eyebrow rises, flipping to the ‘Rules’. “I thought this was staying strictly to our time outside of the office?” The thought of being found out fills you with dread, the shame and ridicule you would experience would ruin your career with the BAU.
“The relationship we develop will stay strictly after hours, as long as we are both discreet there is no reason for anyone to suspect anything. With that being said though I expect you to follow the rules to the best of your ability.”
You lean forward, your voice staying quiet despite the dining room being practically empty, the other occupants to engrossed in their own conversation to notice yours. “You keep saying relationship…” Aaron leans in as well, large hands resting just in front of your own.
“You’re a smart girl, Y/n. You must be aware of my feelings towards you.” You cheeks flush despite yourself, your lips pressing into a thin line. Aaron, though, smiles at your reaction. You never put much stock into how Aaron acted around you, or if he treated you differently than anyone else. Looking back on it all though, you can see it, how he always lingered close, his gaze always locking with yours when you would look up. Small little things that could add up to all of this.
It wasn’t that you hadn’t thought of Aaron in… that way. There is no denying how handsome he is, even with the lack of expression. He is a damn good agent, and cares for every member of his team, and the rare glimpses you’ve seen of him with his son would make any sane woman weak in the knees. But you would never let your thoughts stay too far, afraid of what they could become.
You clear your throat, leaning back and fidgeting with your silverware, the metal gleaming under the fluorescent lights as you turn your fork back and forth. “So… I’m your girlfriend then?” You’ve kicked yourself all night for not asking more questions before agreeing to this, now you’re in a legal binding relationship it seems. With none other than your drill sergeant boss.
“If that’s the easiest way for you to put this, then yes; but I need you to realize our relationship goes well beyond those things.”
“If I decide I don’t want that? That I don’t want to be under your thumb? Then what?” Your voice is sharp though you refuse to meet his gaze, your shame filling you till you’re ready to burst like an overinflated balloon.
“Then we shred this up and forget it was offered. You’ll go to therapy like we agreed last night.” You flench at the thought, sighing and titling your head back.
“Okay… but I have to ask, what do you get out of this? Aren’t you already swamped with work most of the time? And you’re a father on top of that. Isn’t ‘looking after me’ just going to add to the stress of it all?”
“I find peace with taking care of someone, it helps me as much as it will help you. It can be hard to explain everything you’ll feel but I can assure you, it’s worth the try.”
Nodding you take a deep breath. “Alright… I will still agree to the month. But don’t expect me to go falling head over heels for you Hotchner.” He laughs and it’s a warm sound, one that turns a few heads of other females in the room.
“Baby, that’s the last position you need to worry about. Now eat, we are meeting Jenny and her mother in an hour.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
The car ride to the police station is at best uncomfortable. The first ten minutes spent in utter silence until Aaron speaks. “Tell me something about yourself.” Your eyebrows raise but you don’t turn towards him, keeping your eyes focused on the road ahead as he turns the corner.
“I thought you knew everything there is to know?” You can practically feel the glare he’s giving you.
“Y/n.” His voice is a deep warning.
Sighing you tap your fingers against your leg. “I like rock music… I’m very allergic to bees and I have a weird phobia of maggots.”
“Maggots?” This time he chuckles.
“Yes… I read something about a man’s leg getting infected and when he finally went to the doctor there were… maggots living in his wound.” You shudder at the thought, squeezing your eyes shut to rid yourself of the mental imagine.
Aaron grimaces beside you, “Yeah that would do it.”
“What about you, Agent Hotchner? Any weird fears or the such?”
He takes a moment to think, and you wonder what he’s choosing that won’t give to much about himself away. “I have a scar down my back from when I tried climbing the water tower in my home town as a teenager. Fell off the ladder halfway up and into a tree.” You laugh genuinely, the thought of a young Aaron explaining that to his parents comical. “Good to see someone else can laugh at my pain.”
You roll your eyes, seeing his smile out of the corner of your vision. “Uh-huh.”
Soon enough you’re pulling into the parking lot, black and white cars surrounding the SUV as you both step out. You grab your dark green bag, hoisting it over your shoulder. Doing this job for so long you’ve perfected your methods of therapy for the children you work with. Playing and keeping their minds partially distracted as you pick out information for their evaluations has been your biggest helper. Now you carry around a bag stuffed with whatever a child may like.
Waiting in the lobby is Jenny and her mother, she’s finally had a bath, her blond hair shinny and straightened, her clothes clean. She spots you as you approach and she gives you the most tentative smile. “Mrs. Campell?” Aaron greets, holding his hand out to the mother. Carl.
Her daughter is the spitting image of her, down to the shape of their noses and the light dusting of freckles that cover their faces. “Please, just Carl.” She stands, taking Aaron’s hand. “Thank you, again so very much for finding my daughter.”
“We’re happy we could help, this is agent Smith, she is actually the one who found Jenny.” The mother turns to you with fresh tears in her eyes, and before you can extend your hand she is engulfing you in a tight hug. Awkwardly you hug her back, patting her shoulder gently.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, ma’am.”
She pulls back with a big smile, finally releasing you. Jenny stands from the bench, coming to lean against her mothers leg. “Mrs. Smith will be conducting your daughters evaluation today, and I will be finishing up some of the paper work to finalize booking process.”
You squat down to Jenny’s level, smiling sweetly. “Hi, Jenny. Do you remember me?” She nods slowly, her small fingers picking at a loose thread on her mother’s blue jeans. You take note of the unicorn on her shirt, pulling your bag to your side. “Ya know, I think I have something in here for you.” Her blue eyes dart to your bag as you rummage through it, the excess of toys making noise as the knock together catching her interest. “Ah! Here we go.” You pull out a pink and white unicorn, her face lighting up, her mouth dropping open in surprise and awe. You hand the toy over and she takes it excitedly.
“Mommy look!”
Carl smiles, passing her hand over Jenny’s hair. “Wow, what do we say, baby?”
“Thank you.” She’s missing a front tooth, the gasp giving her a little bit of a speech impediment, drawing out the ‘th’ sound.
“You are very welcome. Now, would you like to go play while your mom and Mr. Hotchner talk? We all can go into that big room right there.” You point over her shoulder to the empty meeting room, not wanting to cause any distress that may occur from being separated from her mother. Jenny nods again, her smile never faltering.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“In my professional opinion Jenny is coping very well with everything that has happened to her. That being said, either being so young she might not fully understand everything that has happened. Don’t be surprised if she’s a little more dependent on you, wanting to be near you more, sleep with you at night, and so on. She could have nightmares and if you feel like she needs therapy I can find you a list of the best in town. But you have a strong daughter, Miss. Carl.”
Carl sighs in relief, leaning back in her chair as she turns to watch her daughter. Jenny is sitting crisscross on the floor, Aaron mirroring her as she tells him all about unicorns and fairies, his attention never straying. “Thank you, I never thought this would be a fear of mine. I couldn’t eat, sleep, think straight even when she went missing. My entire world is her, and the thought of losing her was just…”
You reach out, giving her hand a firm squeeze. “Soon this will all be a distant memory.”
She mouths a last thank you as Jenny suddenly runs up to her, Aaron placing the toys back into your bag. “Mommy when is lunch?”
You all bid your goodbyes and once you are buckled into the passenger seat you let your body sag, closing your eyes. “Are you okay?” You don’t answer for a minute as Aaron starts the car, pulling away from the station.
“It’s hard sometimes.” You start, fidgeting with your fingers, “Knowing what a child has been through, then I have to judge them on their ability to cope. Kids can be so resilient, so strong, yet they are supposed to be the one thing we protect the most.”
Aaron nods, glancing at you time and again as he drives back towards the hotel. “These are the worst types of cases, and truly no one really wins in the end. The damage is done, it’s just a matter of what degree.”
You hum in agreement, finally opening your eyes to stare out the window. The sky’s are filling with grey clouds, the November air chilly and your thankful for the heat in the car. People bundled up in large coats and scarves hurry along the side walks desperately trying to get from one place to another.
“I understand it can be hard to talk about these things… but I hope in time you can come to trust me.” You finally look his way, his attention fixed on the road ahead, but one of his large hands rests on the center console, like he is thinking about reaching for you but not quiet yet.
“So um… You never showed me the last page.” You flip script easily, pushing away his sympathy.
Aaron presses his lips into a thin line before answering. “Punishments.” You laugh involuntarily, that had to be the most absurd thing you had heard since this whole thing began. But the stern look Aaron gives you when his eyes slide your way has the humor lodging itself in your throat.
“You aren’t serious?”
“How else are you supposed to learn not to break the rules?”
“Um I don’t know, tell me I broke them and I’ll do better?” You ask incredulously, lip curled up as you turn in your seat to face him. Aaron doesn’t answer you, his focus on the road ahead. “What kind of punishments? Are you gonna throw me over your knee if I miss a meal?”
“If that’s what it takes then yes, but that’s not usually the first resort. We will cross that bridge when we get there.” You roll your eyes leaning your head back against the headrest, finally noticing that he has driven right by the hotel.
“Where are we going?”
“You have gone through your clothes, we are going shopping.” He’s reading the street signs as he drives, completely unaware of the slack jawed look you are giving him.
“What? No we aren’t.” You protest.
The car slows down a busy street, pulling off into a curbside parking space. The walkways are lined with y’all buildings, department stores, restaurants, businesses, all with their warm glowing signs and bright interior lights. Aaron turns to you fully, the same stern expression he always wears in place. “You’ve run through your clothes, you wore that shirt two days ago with a different pair of bottoms. In fact, I’ve only ever seen you wear the same four pairs of slacks, one grey pencil skirt that you constantly fight with, and six blouse.”
“So? I like to keep it simple, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“You need new clothes, and it’s either I take you to get them, so you can pick them out and try them on, or you can give me your sizes and I will do the shopping for you.” You press your lips into a thin line, glaring at him. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way.”
“I don’t have the money to go shopping, Hotch.” You finally relent, realizing he isn’t going to give up, so you have to give him a reason to.
Aaron’s frown softens, and he’s reaching out, taking your chin in between his fingers. You hold your breath, reliving last nights feelings all over again as he leans in. The space in the SUV suddenly seems so small, so compact with the both of you this close. “Baby, I didn’t ask you if you had money. I told you I would help take care of you and that includes clothing. Do you understand?”
“But-.” You begin, only to have his grip tighten, tilting your face down slightly so your forced to look up to keep eye contact.
“No more arguing. Grab your jacket it’s cold outside.”
#smut#apollyonsdarksecrets#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotch smut#aaron hotchner smut#criminal minds#criminal minds smut#aaron hotchner x reader
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Little Flower
(Gif is not mine (Lee Pace on google))
Joel Miller X FemAFAB!Reader
Summary: after being in Jackson and finally settling down with Ellie and his love, You, Joel finds himself wanting… more. But being in an apocalypse doesn’t exactly call for that more being the best of times. And you are dead set that it will not happen. Joel is determined to convince you otherwise.
Warnings: SMUT 18+ Only MDNI, Established relationship, hinted at age gap, persuasion, slight(?) dubcon, cnc, Dark!Joel, heavy breeding kink, fingering, P IN V unprotected sex, cream pie, use of term daddy and mama. Crying,
Word Count: Long as per usual.
A/N: this is purely self indulgent, I’m not sorry about it. But please this is a very dark fanfiction so please use caution with the warning before you continue reading. Please check out my other stories about our heart throb Joel Miller below.
Joel Miller Master List
Joel never thought this would be the state of mind he’d ever find himself in again, his feelings and emotions wrapped around his throat, constantly chocking him.
And it all centered around you.
You’re currently sitting in the living room with Ellie on the floor in front of you, fixing her hair into a braid as she reads aloud parts of a magazine she found. Both of you are laughing over the topics, how people found such trivial things so important back before.
Joel isn’t hanging onto a single word, lost in thought as he stares at you.
Some deep emotion is twisting its way into his heart, circling the beating organ and squeezing painfully until he is able to pinpoint just what it is. His eyes dart to the big window before him, right to Tommy and Maria’s house.
The pain is jealousy.
Your laugh catches his attention, dragging his eyes over your frame dressed simply in one of his t-shirts and a pair of cotton shorts. He’s always liked seeing you walking around with his clothing on, like a way of marking you as his. Your hands move delicately through Ellie’s hair, gentle and sure, caring for her like she was your own.
That’s where it really hits him. Like a punch to the gut out of no where that makes him hunch over slightly, eyes widening as it all falls together, the explanation for his feelings.
Joel wants a family with you.
“And you’re all done.” You drop Ellie’s braid as she turn around, showing you a bright smile that always warms your heart.
“Thank you!” She scrambles up, flinging the magazine onto the table and bolts for the door, yelling her goodbyes as the thick wood closes behind her. You laugh with a shake of your head, muttering a soft ‘You’re Welcome’ to the room.
Joel stands from where he was sitting in the armchair and drops onto the couch beside you and instinctively you sink back into his warmth. “Kids always on the go.” He remarks, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, tucking you into his side.
“She’s finally getting comfortable here, she’s got school and friends and her girlfriend.” You lean your head back wiggling your eyebrows at Joel suggestively and he chuckles, the vibrations rumbling into your back.
“And what about you? Are you comfortable here?” His thumb rubs at your arm, slow and steady as he keeps his eyes locked on your, the chocolate color of his irises darker today.
“Yeah, I have the kids at school who are wonderful, I have you and your family, a place where I haven’t had to keep one eye open at night for two years now… It feels nice to have something so… normal.”
He kisses your forehead in response, letting god lips linger a moment longer than necessary but you relax into the contact, the simple gesture making your toes curl and your stomach flutter.
“‘Normal.’ S’Pretty funny word, nowadays.” He whispers pulling back, watching your eyes flutter shut and face relax. Your lips turn down naturally into a small pout and instinctively he wants to kiss it away, wanting you to smile always. “Been thinking about how things have gotten pretty normal.”
“Yeah? You missing all the action?”
“No… not in the slightest… I just…” Joela heart rate picks up, his grip unknowingly tightening around you as he finally lets the bottled up words roll off of his tongue. “I’ve been thinking about us, actually. We are safe here, it’s nice, we have friends, home, food… We could really… settle down together.” He presses a kiss to your jaw softly, in that spot he’s memorized that always makes you a little breathless.
“Settle down?” You ask, focusing more on the brush of his lips and the large hand that now finds purchase on the inside of your thigh.
Joel takes a steadying breath. “I want to add to our little family.”
His words hit you like a bucket of ice water, startling you from your hazy stupa. You jerk from his side, twisting around with wide eyes and a slack jaw. You search his face and find nothing but seriousness, making your stomach drop.
“W-what? Joel that’s… It’s the end of the world!” Your voice rises in octaves with each word, panic setting in and Joel quickly tries to calm you down.
“Honey, the world ended 22 years ago, and here we are.” He tries to joke, to bring the lightheartedness back to the conversation but it falls on deaf ears. “Can’t you see a little me and you runin around here? Causing all kinds of trouble?”
“No… We can’t. I can’t.” You emphasize pointing to yourself and his smile falls as you pull further away, putting space between your bodies. “Every day we are living on borrowed time, hell tomorrow a hoard could come crashing through this camp and kill all of us and you want a baby?”
You become more and more visibly upset as the thought settles over your shoulders, lower lip trembling as tears sting the back of your eyes. You and Joel had talked about his years back when you both lived at the Boston QZ. Agreeing that neither of you wanted kids at the start of this relationship, knowing that he had lost his only daughter and you weren’t going to put yourself at risk in a world like this.
Though deep down the decision had hurt you, havig dreamt of a big family since you were in your teens, you knew better than to ever act on it. And you thought Joel did to.
“I would never let anything like that happen to us, and either would anyone else in this town.” He says it with such confidence that you scoff. “Hey, look at me.” Joel cups your chin gently, turning your gaze from the floor to his and that pain in your stomach only grows worse with the sincerity and longing in his eyes. “I didn’t want to upset you darlin’, I just see you with Ellie and your student and it makes me… want. You would be the most amazing mother.”
Tears slip past your heavy lashes as you shake your head, letting his hand drop to squeeze your own. “If we didn’t live in a world like this I would have said yes, Joel… but so many things could go wrong, I don’t… it’s not safe.”
“Maria had all of those doctors there to help her and she and their boy are happy and healthy.” His heart and mind are racing at equal speed, searching for the right words to convince you.
Instead your face twists up and you stand, shaking off his hand before walking from the room, tossing your words over your shoulder with venom. “I’m not Maria.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
It’s a month later and you’ve both seemingly have finally pushed the conversation to the back of your minds as you get ready for bed, pulling the comforter down and throwing the extra pillows to Joel’s side.
He watches you form the doorway for a moment, eyes trained on your bare thighs and the small glimpses of your ass he can catch whenever you bend over slightly in that big t-shirt. He walks towards you slowly, slipping his large hands around your waist making you jump. “Jesus…” you breath, leaning against him once you realize who it is.
“No just me.” He chuckles back making you roll your eyes. He rubs his chin along the side of your neck and you squirm at the scratch of his beard. “Ellie went over to that girl’s house for the night.”
“Dina.” You correct, smile spreading slowly across your lips as his hands find your hips, gripping and pulling you back against him. It was the move that always made your body thrum, arousal pooling between your legs.
A hum is your only response as his lips soothe over the red patch his beard made, wet kisses leading from your shoulder to the underside of your jaw. You turn your head, allowing more access and he groans, nipping your skin with his teeth.
“Mmm…” Your whine only spurred him on, grinding his hips against your ass as he bunches your shirt around your waist.
A set of fingers find the band of your panties tracing the elastic back and forth where it meets your soft stomach. “So pretty.” He whispers dipping his fingers just under the band, sliding through your thatch of hair. “Been thinking about you all day.” His voice is dropping, reverberating through his chest and into your back.
“Y-yeah?” You question breathlessly, eyes fluttering close as his rough palm cups your breast through the thin shirt, and his fingers continue there decent.
“Yeah, baby. Been thinking about you just like this, all pretty and warm and wet for me.” His fingers finally catch on the hood of your clit, rubbing tender circles right where you need him, legs buckling slightly into the bed, hands covering his for support.
He doesn’t stop his assault on your neck, working the flesh with bruising kisses that you will have to hide when you go to work. You never do a good job, and he’s prideful in the fact the whole town can see them, that they know you are his.
“Joel…” You pants into the air, rocking back into him thankful for the hold he has on you as your legs begin to tremble, hips twitching.
You can’t even count the number of times he’s gotten you off just like this, slowly working your clit to the point of breaking for him, his words and lips the catalyst to it all.
And Joel knows it, knows just how to make you into that crying pleading mess, all for him. “My girl, my sweet pet. Gonna cum for me?” He growls lowly peaking at your face that’s drawn tight in pleasure. You give a nod, but that isn’t what he wants, no he needs to hear you tonight. “I asked you a question, darlin’.” He stops moving his fingers completely, just pressing into your clit making you keen, head lifting just to fall back to his shoulder.
“Yes… Yes I’m gonna cum.” You hastily babble out, nails digging into his forearms.
“Good girl.” He all but purrs, moving his fingers quicker than before to make up for lost pleasure. You gasp, lips pulling taught into an O, eyes closing as your body tenses, pussy squeezing around air as your orgasm rushes at you. “Cum baby, soak those panties for me.”
Your body obeys instantly, a delicate cry leaving your lips that consumes Joel with need as he bites into your shoulder, squeezing your breast roughly to add to the overwhelming sensation. Flashes off heat coat your skin, your arousal dripping into your cotton underwear just as Joel demanded and you feel languid and hazy as your hips twitch, riding your high against his steady fingers.
Joel slowly withdraws his fingers, kissing your abused neck. “Lay down baby, let me take care of you.” With his arms no longer supporting you all you can do is comply, sinking down onto your stomach with a heavy sigh.
He works you out of your panties quickly, manhandling you how he wants as he lifts your hips, pressing your chest down into the comforter. You whimper softly at the cool air on your soaked lower lips, squirming underneath Joel.
“Hush baby, don’t want me to stop now do you?” You shake your head, fingers curling into the warm fabric below you as his jeans hit the floor with a thud, his shirt following shortly after. Joel palms himself through his boxers, admiring the arch of your back and the way your ass stick out just that much further at his question.
‘She looks good enough to breed.’
Biting his lip harshly he drops to his knees before you, thankful for whoever made a bed this damn low, and wraps his arms around your thighs. You mewl meekly as he blows warm air across your throbbing cunt, knowing his smile is devilish.
He cooes mockingly, hands pressing your thighs further apart to accommodate him. “Please Joel… want you so bad.” Instead of teasing your further he takes pity, your glistening cunt screaming for his attention as he dips his head and licks a fat stripe from your throbbing clit to your weeping entrance.
The moan you let out is strangled and draw out, filling the room and inflating Joel’s ego. “Right here baby? Is this where you need me?” He repeats that same path, again and again, the skilled muscle working through your folds deeper and deeper with each pass.
“Yeeesss… fuck baby, please…” You rock back against his face, bliss and overstimulation battling in your body as he grips tighter, fucking you with his tongue in earnest at your cries. As much as this is for you, for your own pleasure, Joel could spend hours right here, drawing out as many orgasms as he wanted, lapping you up as you spill across his face and stain the sheets. He could never get enough of you.
“Joel… Joel…” His name is the only warning you can give, your second orgasm creeping up inside you as your walls flutter around his tongue. He takes his que, lips finding your clit as he slips two thick digits into your heat, curling them down right into that spongy spot that always leaves your vision blurry and star riddled.
You cry out, muffled by the covers as you clamp down on his fingers, pussy throbbing with each wave of your release that washes over you, dotting your skin with sweat as the heat of it engulfs you. Joel lets loose a groan of his own, hungrily devouring everything you give him.
You squirm against him as he continues to lazily thrust his fingers, calluses dragging against your walls in the most sensitive spots, his lips and tongue never leaving your clit even as your second high of the night fades and your left trembling on the bed. “G-gotta stop, J-Joel.” You beg, thighs giving out on you.
“One more baby. One more for me.” He doesn’t stop the relentless slow pace of his fingers, dragging them over and over against that spot inside you that has your pussy clenching and fluttering around him.
“N-no… ca-can’t…” Your words are cut short with a gasp as he works another finger inside you, never losing that steady rhythm.
“Shh, lil mama, be a good girl and give me one more.” He emphasizes his demand with a harsh suck to your swollen, aching clit, his teeth gliding across the bud.
Tears sting your eyes as you mewl pathetically into the sheets, the pain of being so over stimulated slowly melting into pleasure that licks at your spine. Pressure builds in your hips, all to quickly, making your body rock subconsciously.
“That’s it, give in, fuck my fingers honey.” His lips trail to your thighs, biting and kissing leaving marks for only him to see later when you shed your clothing, a reminder. His thumb finds your clit, drawing slow circles until he feels your pussy flutter. “Let daddy have it.”
You scream into the bed, hiding your face as tears finally slip along your cheeks, and your orgasm rushes from you. His words always your undoing. He’s mumbling small praises, working you through your release until you’ve collapsed completely onto the bed, hiccuping slightly as your body twitches.
He sucks his fingers clean, using the bed to help him stand as his knees groan in protest. Joel stairs down at your limp body, small pleasurable noises escaping your dry throat and he can’t help his smile.
He gets rid of his boxers, thick cock springing free with a soft groan. Gently, Joel rolls you over, climbing onto the bed between your trembling thighs, peppering your wet face with kisses. “Did so good for me, didn’t you?” He whispers, gauging your responses.
You mumble out a small ‘Yes’ to spent to do more and Joel knows he has you right where he needs you to be.
He pumps his cock a few times before aligning himself with your abused hole. You suck in a gasp, shaking your head slightly, as he sinks in, you body accepting him despite the pain from being so worked up.
“I could open you up all night and you’d still squeeze my dick so fucking hard.” He growls, hitching your legs around his waist as he presses his weight into you, your chest brushing against his with each ragged breath. His hands wrap around you wrists, pinning you effectively as he begins to slowly fuck you.
You moan, face pinched and head tilted back, legs squeezing around his waist.
“That’s right mama, just let it happen.” You can now focus on his words, your body involuntarily squeezing his with the nickname. “Fuck… you like the sound of that? Huh lil mama?” He emphasis the question with a hard thrust, the tip of his cock bruising your cervix and you groan with a shallow nod that Joel almost misses.
“J-Joel…” the pain has finally melted into mind numbing pleasure, his cock imprinting your walls just the way you like, each ridge and vein hitting every spot that makes you impossibly more aroused.
“Haven’t stopped thinking about it.” He whispers softly against your ear, his thumb rubbing across your wrist in gentle strokes. “Can’t stop thinking about putting a baby in you.”
Your heart rate picks up, body jerking in surprise, but he expects that, suddenly picking up his pace. You moan brokenly pressing your cheek against his. “B-but…”
“Shh darlin, let me take care of you…” Joel’s voice holds a note of desperation, voice strained as his cock throbs. “Just wanna watch you swell with my baby, you’ll look so beautiful, and she will look just like her mama, beautiful and happy.”
The image plants itself into your brain, a bouncing baby girl in your arms, looking just like you and Joel, something in your brain starting to run with the idea. Logic melting away with each harsh thrust from the man above you.
“S-scary… it’ll be… scary…” You wheeze out, pleasure blooming low between your hips.
“I know, but we have everyone to help us. We’ve got this. I’ve got you.” And he talks like it’s decided, like it’s already happening because your hips are meeting his and tears are spilling over your lashes. He grinds against your clit at just the right angle, pulling your release from you with no other choice and you’re turned into a puddle of acceptance and want below him.
“P-please…” Your voice breaks as your orgasm explodes through your body, painful and yet euphoric and Joel follows quickly, stilling inside you as he erupts, painting your walls with thick cum that warms you in a way nothing ever has. He groans low and drawn out in your ear, body shaking with the force of it all and he has to will himself not to collapse on top of you.
You both stay silent for the few moments that follow, his fingers tangled with yours as he gently kisses the length of your neck. “I love you sweet heart. I love you so very much.”
You only press your face against his neck, heart hammering into your ribs at your decision, but hold onto him just as tight. Only the coming months can tell if his plan worked, or if he will have to try again.
Either way Joel has won, the image of your future child burned into your thoughts as you drift towards sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*
#smut#apollyonsdarksecrets#joel miller#the last of us#joel miller smut#joel miller the last of us#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller x y/n
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Safe by my side
Joel Miller X Fem!Reader
Summary: Jackson is supposed to be the start of a new life, but when the danger of your past is standing right in front of you you find yourself ready to bolt. Can Joel convince you otherwise?
Warnings: 18 plus minors DNI, I tried to use Y/n as little as possible but I think it comes up once or twice. angst, talk of past trauma, reader is fearful, talk of anxiety, panic attack. Swearing, (un)established relationship between reader and Joel, age gap (reader is 29 Joel is 56). Sexual assault, almost rape, fighting, cussing, talk of vomiting but never actually depicted. Joel being our big daddy hero that he always is, blood, the infected.
A/n please message me if I’ve forgotten to tag anything in the warning that you believe should be mentioned!
Joel Miller Master List
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Four weeks.
Four weeks is all it took to feel the small town becoming a home to you. Hell, even Ellie called the room she was staying in hers for the very first time last night, and you and Joel? Things were slowly creeping in the right direction to say you two were a thing.
Stolen glances, late night talks, shared pasts, and a few touches here and there in the comfort of a place that was solid, unmoving, safe; were really all it took.
Everything was feeling right.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Hurry up!” Ellie demands, trudging up the street ahead of you and Joel. “It’s gonna fucking start soon and I don’t want to miss it!” It’s movie night and you were almost as excited as she was, Treasure Planet was found on a run and the kids were abuzz with excitement that they get to see something new.
Joel huffs a laugh beside you, “We’re behind you, just go on. Maria and Tommy are there already.” Ellie’s face lights up before she turns on her heel and takes off. “Christ that kid can run.” You hum in agreement, lacing your fingers with his as you two continue your leisurely walk.
People and kids are mulling about, laughter and songs being sung, Christmas is around the corner and for the first time in 20 years you are thinking about what you could get for the two people in your life.
20 years… it still surprises you. How fast time can go and yet how it’s dragged you down with the weight of it. You were 19 when the breakout happened. So very long ago.
You try and shrug off the creeping sadness that comes along with thinking of your past life, the family and friends you will never see again, the what ifs and could of been. Glancing up at Joel though, watching him watch everyone else with the tiniest hint of a smile, this is what it all boils down to. This was life now, and you were going to make the most of it with the people you have beside you.
A snowball whizzes through the air, barely inches from your face and pelts the building on the other side of Joel. A chorus of children’s laughter follows and the tense muscles in the two of your bodies relax, you turn to the group of kids, a smile on your lips to show no animosity when someone catches your eye.
You feel ice drip into your blood. Your happy mood vanishing in an instant.
He stands on the other side of the kids, taking with a group adults, head still buzzed short, beard a little longer than the last time you saw it. He’s smiling and laughing, taking a drag from a cigarette looking like everything you’ve ever feared.
Everything feels like it’s suddenly been ripped from underneath you.
Your fingers shake in Joel’s grasp, he doesn’t notice right away, lecturing a little boy about how he had to be more careful where he throws things. You open your mouth, you want to get Joel’s attention but you’ve become paralyzed, fear forming low in your guts, clawing through your heart and into the back of your throat tenting your skin pale green.
It’s only when Joel starts to walk again and you stay rooted to the spot does he turn to look at you. In the few years of knowing you Joel can’t say he’s ever seen that exact look of fear plastered across your face. His first thought is that you see an infected, his own heart sinking but then as he glances around he sees nothing. When he turns back to you Joel can see the tremble in your lower lip, the tears brimming your wide eyes. “Darlin’?”
Joel steps closer, hand moving to your back and he can feel your entire body shaking, he calls your name, concern and fear growing when you don’t answer. You hardly blink, zeroed in on one thing in particular and he follows your gaze, only seeing a group of men.
“Honey… What’s the matt-.”
Your name rings out in the street, shocking you from your trance and you suck in a shaky breath you didn’t know you were holding as he starts across the street towards you, arm up in a wave with a smile that sends the contents of your stomach up faster. On instinct you turn, running face first into Joel’s chest sending him stumbling backwards, his arms locking around you to keep you both upright.
“Woah, woah, what’s-?”
“We have to go! We have to go now!” You croak, the tears you’d held back now pouring down your cheeks, the desperation in your town shocking Joel into doing as he’s told, taking your hand again as you nearly run away from the spot. Joel looks over his shoulder once, a man from the group standing there looking nearly as bewildered as Joel feels.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Tapping softly on the bathroom door Joel waits until he hears your timid voice telling him he can come in. You’d ran straight for the house, Joel begging you to slow down and tell him what happened the whole way but you wouldn’t answer, afraid you’d spill your stomach in front of whoever might be around, afraid he was following.
Joel’s heart breaks when he pushes open the door and sees you huddled against the toilet with your head resting on the rim. You won’t look at him, shame and embarrassment taking hold of you. “I’m sorry…” You manager, feeling him sink down onto the cold tile beside you.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about, just tell me what’s going on, what happened back there?” His large hand finds the back of your neck, rubbing the tight muscles trying to coax you into the conversation.
It takes you another minute, letting the warmth of his palm sink into your muscles before you lift your head from the toilet. “Before I met you… I was at another QZ. It wasn’t as big as the one we were at… but it was somewhere.” Though you aren’t looking straight at him, Joel is nodding, onyx eyes trained on your face. “Met a guy while I was there, Chris… we… I don’t know fooled around for a while, nothing serious, at least on my end. Friends with benefits.”
You feel dirty talking about it even without having given away the worst part, all you want is to climb into the tub behind you and scrub yourself raw. How is Joel going to take it? Is he going to think you’re… used? No good? Easy? Your heart begins to pick up its pace.
“I understand, it’s normal to find… comfort in other people.” Joel’s even voice is reassuring, if only a little. You give him a sad smile, glancing his way for the first time.
“Well… I meet another guy, Joshua, very nice. I genuinely liked him, he was a good man. But… Chris… He didn’t take it well that I didn’t want to continue our friendship in… that way. One night he sees Josh and I talking outside my building. I guess I was giving him the eyes a little to hard. After Josh had told me goodnight I went upstairs, wasn’t looking, wasn’t really thinking…” You suck in a breath, closing your eyes to force back the tears, Joel’s hand move to your shoulder pulling you against his side.
“Chris jumped me as soon as I got into my apartment…” Joel feels like a weight just dropped in his stomach, dread eating at him as the realization dawns on him.
“He…”
“He pinned me to the wall by the throat… asked me what I thought I was doing seeing another man… told me I was his and his alone and that he needed to teach me my place… things got worse because I tried to fight back… But he is so much bigger than me, Joel… I… I just couldn’t get him off of me.”
The sob that rakes your body crumples you with the force of it, and Joel doesn’t think, just pulls you into his lap, cradling you against him as you cry harder, small fingers curling into his flannel.
Joel has known you for just over three years, has seen a piece of humanity and hopefulness you carry that he hasn’t for many years before you walked into his life. Not since Sarah. Not since before the world ate shit. He watched how you cared for those around you, giving your food rations up because ‘you had enough’ when he knew damn well you didn’t. He knew you from late night conversations on the road and in his apartment, how carefully you watched over him on every run, simple gestures of kindness to people who probably didn’t deserve it and the way you take care of Ellie…
He remembers the night it was pouring rain and ice at the QZ, and you stood outside, face to the sky, taking it all in as everyone rushed around you to get out of the cold. That was the first night he laid eyes on you, and that was the first time he felt something in his heart crack open without even knowing your name at the time.
How anyone could ever hurt his girl… His girl.
Rage simmers in Joel’s chest, his face hardening, arms tightening around your body as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head.
“I’ve kept you safe this far, I’ll keep you safe as long as I live.”
You hiccup slightly, eyebrows drawn together in confusion as you lift your head to look at him. “W-what?”
He cups your face, the gentle gesture such a stark contrast to how he looks, and wipes away a trail of tears. “As long as I am around, I will not- will not- let anything, or anyone hurt you ever again.” Joel takes his own steadying breath, this wasn’t how, or when, or really even where he thought he’d be confessing those deep buried feelings he’s been fearful of letting loose. But that look on your face, the way your eyes search his…
Joel leans forward and presses a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth. He pulls away before you can fully register it, the scrape of his beard more defining than the press of his lips.
“I care about you more than anyone I have met in many years, love. This is my promise to you that you are safe by my side.” Your body sinks against his touch, the first moment you’ve relaxed since seeing Chris and you can feel all of the unspoken words from the gentle touch of his hands on your face, the pleasing in his eyes to trust him.
And you do.
“Thank you Joel.” You whisper, leaning into him, wrapping your arms around his neck as he holds you. The two of you stay like that for minutes, your face buried against his chest as he strokes your hair, running his fingers through it slowly.
“Do you want to come with me to get Ellie?” He finally asks, trying to peak down at your face.
“I think I’d like to take a shower. I don’t really want to leave the house right now… ya know?” You mumble back, staring at the wall across from you.
“I can stay.”
You shake your head, peeling yourself from his chest. “No, go get Ellie, she’s probably already pissed we ditched her.” When he doesn’t look convinced you run your palm up and down his arm, giving him another smile. “I’m okay… really. I just… I need a little bit. To myself. I want to take a shower and just… work through it.”
He watches you for a moment longer before nodding, pulling you to him by the back of your neck and planting a warm kiss to your forehead.
“I’ll be back soon.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
After Joel had left you turned down the house lights, keeping the little lamps on and took a burning shower, letting everything flow down the drain with each swipe of soap across your skin.
You knew, with Joel beside you, you could get through anything. Could walk out that door and face whatever the world threw at you and come out on the other side because you had him and Ellie now.
Ringing out your hair, a purple robe wrapped tight around your body, mulling over the symphony of thoughts in your head, the door to the bathroom suddenly rattles. You jump, not having expected them to be back so soon. Your heart leaps into your throat and before Joel can start to say anything you let everything you feel pour out.
“Joel I… I just need to tell you… and I know this seems silly just bear with me please.” You lean your head against the wood, closing your eyes and take a deep breath. “I know you’ll keep me safe, I know you will because from the moment I met you that’s all I’ve ever felt is safe. From the moment I ran into you at the food center, nearly knocking you down I felt it, this big rough and tough guy was… was going to be so important to me. And the years that have followed of me getting to know you, learning about your life, about your daughter, about your family… I’ve fallen Joel… I’ve fallen so deeply in love with you that I hope I can never crawl out… you are my everything, and I know with you beside me we will make it through anything and I… I just.”
The tears spilling down your cheeks cut you off, no longer able to continue, you throw open the door, rushing into his chest and throwing your arms around him. Every nerve, every emotion laid bare at his feet and yet you can’t look him in the eye as you press in tighter. His hands run up your back, gripping your shoulders and you hear the rumble in his chest as he starts to speak…
“Who the fuck is Joel?”
Your body tenses, heart stuttering as panic eclipses you. Your head shots back, eyes locking on Chris’s face and a scream bubbles out of your throat as you try and get away. “NO!”
But he has you, arms around your shoulders, iron like grip crushing you to him as you squirm and kick and fight. He hardly struggles as he steps back, taking you with him and suddenly something comes to mind that Joel had once taught you a few years ago.
You crane your neck back before slamming your head forward, making contact with his nose, you both let out your own screams of pain but it works. He drops you to the ground, your head spinning, pain blooming in your forehead but you push through, staggering to your feet as Chris spews profanities clutching his nose.
You make it three feet to the door before Chris wraps a hand around your arm, swinging you around throwing you across the room. Your body slams into the dresser, everything on top crashing to the floors as you cry out, your back taking most of the impact.
Chris steps towards you, his body between you and the door, and memories of every way he has ever hurt you flood you, suffocating, and drowning
“I asked you a question woman. Who the fuck is Joel?”
Joel. Joel. Joel. “He’s the man who is going to kill you if he finds you here.” You spit back, trembling as you force yourself to make eye contact, Joel will be back, he will save you.
Chris laughs, making your muscles clench, the sound like nails on a chalk board. “That little old man you’ve been parading around with? Going to kill me? You’ve always had such a since of hummer.” He takes another step forward and you stumble to the side, the bed to your right and a wall to your left. Your eyes flicker to the door.
“Do you know how long I have searched for you little lamb? Do you?” He stays still, watching you cower, the fear radiating off of you giving him a high he hasn’t felt in years. “It doesn’t matter, I always knew you’d come back to me, one way or another, I would get you back.”
“I will never, NEVER come back to you.” You edge closer to the bed, voice trembling uncontrollably as you speak. “Y-you ruined my life, Chris. You ruined ME. Of all the things I fear? Of the horrible fucking things in the world, the r-raiders, the fucking infected… You. You have ha-haunted me from the moment I escaped you and I will never come back to you C-Chris. I would rather kill myself than ever let you touch me again.”
Now your thigh is against the mattress, your chin lifted high as you level a glare at Chris, his face impassive and hard to read. “I would rather gut you on this floor, and feed you to the pigs than be with you.”
He lunges for you, just as you planned and your scramble over the bed, he cusses fingers barely grazing your hip as you push yourself forward, feet hitting the floor and sprinting to the door with wobbly legs. You grab the brass handle, yanking it open but he’s on you.
He’s always faster.
He’s always bigger.
Chris’s arms wrap around your body, lifting you off the floor as you scream, sobbing as you kick and flail against him. He drops you onto the bed, flipping you onto your stomach pinning you down with a hand to your neck and leaning his weight against your ass.
“No! No please! Please don’t!” Your screaming and blubbering, tears soaking the sheets below you and your scratch and claw for any leverage point to use, pushing and pulling to try and get up, to try and over come him.
“You owe me everything, you owe me your life. I picked you up off the side of the road, I am the one that gave you somewhere to stay, food to eat, clothes to wear.” Chris leans in more, his breath hot and sticky on the side of your face. “I fucked you so good you were crying my name and begging for more.”
Repulsion hurls through you and you squeeze your eyes shut, continuing to struggle as he palms your hip, bunching up your robe with each grind of his hips into your ass.
“Maybe you just need a little reminder. Maybe you’ve forgotten who you truly belong to.”
“NO! NO GOD PLEASE!”
Chris only smirks, pressing his weight onto the back of your head as he reaches for his belt, muffling your cries against the mattress, “Keep struggling, women. You know how I-.”
There’s a loud smack before suddenly all the weight is gone off of you, something heavy drops to the floor. Your eyes fly open, head wiping around to find Joel, a stone bookend clutched in his hand staring down at Chris’s limp body.
“Y/n?” You turn around fully, Ellie staring at you wide eyed.
“Come here.” Joel drops the bloodied bookend to the floor, holding his hand out for you.
Everything feels distorted, like you’re watching from outside your body as you take his hand and Joel and Ellie guide you out of the room.
Joel’s telling Ellie to go get Tommy as he sits you down on the couch, and she doesn’t hesitate before sprinting out the door. He’s asking you questions, where are you hurt? What did he do to you? When did he get into the house? But you can just stare at him, glossy eyes and trembling limbs. He cusses, loudly, hating himself that he let this happen to you.
Moments later Tommy and Maria are bursting into the room, Maria instantly coming to your side and wrapping her arms around you, talking to you in a much softer voice.
“What the fuck happened? Ellie comes kickin down my door saying something about a guy on top of Y/n-.” Tommy is cut off by Joel grabbing his arm and hauling him towards the bedroom, confusion taking over as he sees the man laying face first in the wood floor, a small pool of blood gathering around his head.
“I need one last favor from you.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
Joel and Tommy return hours later to find the house quiet, Maria and Ellie in the living room. Ellie’s asleep on the couch, sprawled out taking up most of the space as Maria combs her fingers through the young girl’s hair.
“Where my girl?” Joel startles her, her hand coming to rest over her chest.
“She’s in your bedroom upstairs… she’s asleep… she’s okay, physically, asides from some bruises and cuts on her forehead and back… listen Joel…” Maria wants to say more but he’s already taking off at the first pause, tracking mud behind him as he ascends the stairs.
He finds you curled up in his bed, covers pulled tight around your shoulders like Maria may have tucked you in. Joel stares at you silently, taking in your face, the rise and fall of your shoulders with each deep breath, he can see the bruise forming in your forehead like Maria had mentioned.
His hand comes to his chest, gripping at his shirt and pressing in, his body suddenly feels too hot, anything too tight on his skin.
Joel couldn’t keep you safe, he wasn’t there for you, so much worse could of happened. Joel realizing his greatest fear would be to lose you.
Tears prick his eyes as he sinks down onto the mattress beside you, “Honey…” Joel rests his hand on your shoulder and you jolt awake, for a split second not recognizing who’s above you until Joel speaks. “Hey. Hey it’s okay baby it’s me. It’s just me.”
Instantly you’re throwing yourself into him, crying uncontrollably. Joel holds you tight, his own tears being lost in your hair. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry darlin’. “ He mutters, pressing kisses to your temple, your cheek, the side of your neck, wherever he can reach, wherever he can touch to show you are safe and whole in his arms.
You pull back, looking at him still in a daze of sleep. “Why are you sorry?”
“I promised, I promised no one would hurt you. I couldn’t keep you safe.” The softness in his voice is heart breaking, the tears slipping down his tan cheeks into his beard makes your stomach tighten and you’re cupping his face gently shushing him.
“No, no Joel you saved me, you saved me. You stopped him, you didn’t let him…” You choke on the memory of Chris’s body against yours, shaking your head. “I remembered what you told me… about how to head butt someone.” Joel looks surprised, maybe confused at your sudden turn in topic. “I didn’t know it would hurt so bad.”
You both are silent for a moment before he chuckles, the sound warm and addictive and you’re copying him, dropping your hands to his shoulders, twisting the lapels of his jacket between your finger. “I should have been there.” He whispers, resting his forehead against yours lightly, careful not to hurt you. “I should have never left you alone.”
You sniffle, tugging at his collar slightly to occupy your shaking fingers. “We can’t always be with each other Joel, you and I both know that.”
“I should of though, I should of payed more attention when I left the house, I-I didn’t even fucking lock the do-.”
“Hey.” You cut him off, leaning back to get a good look at his face, Joel looks more defeated, more worn down, like the life has left his body.
“I never wanted to fail you.” He breaths. Your face softens, hands smoothing down to his chest.
“Oh honey… you never failed me Joel. You’ve taught me how to survive, how to overcome, how to fight. If it weren’t for you I would be dead.” He flinches slightly at your admission but you continue. “You saved me, you saved me the moment you met me, I… I have never in my life felt more safe with someone that I do with you, four years almost right? You have protected me and I’ve…” You swallow thickly, no longer a piece of wood to hide behind as you finally lay everything bare.
“I’ve fallen in love with you, I think I feel in love with you when you asked me to help celebrate Sarah’s birthday. I think I feel in love with you when we stopped on that run to stare at the night sky because it was so clear and pretty and you laid the sleeping bags in the back of the truck. I think-.”
You don’t have to finish because Joel’s lips are on yours and he’s pulling you into his lap, pressing your body against his like this is that last chance he will ever get. And for a man of little words his actions speak volumes. Years of tension, years of built of feelings, stolen touches and simple gestures break down to this very moment.
And It’s just Joel, it’s just you, just this moment of uninterrupted joy the two of you have worked so long and hard for.
One large hand sinks into your hair, the other brushing across your hip up your back and you jolt at the touch, pulling away with a gasp. “M sorry.” He breaths, “I shouldn’t a-.”
“Stop apologizing, you didn’t do anything wrong Joel… just my back hurts.” You whisper pressing back in an closing off any argument with another slow kiss.
This time a knock at the door interrupts, and Joel looks over your shoulder to see Tommy. You climb off of his lap sheepishly, face hot with embarrassment as Joel stands going to his brother. They exchange hushed words before Tommy gives you a nod and is walking away.
“Tommy was just sayin Maria got Ellie to bed, they’ll come back tomorrow with a doc to check your back.”
You nod, watching him toe out of his boots, the mud staining up to his knees. Really looking at him his hair is damp, the cuffs of his jacket wet also as he shrugs out of it.
“Joel?”
He looks over at you, eyebrow cocked slightly.
“Where is he now?”
*~*~*~*~*~*
A man jolts awake, groaning as pain blossoms through his skull, he reaches for his head but is stopped, rope bites firmly into his wrists. Panic sets in as he finally cracks open his eyes, blinking to adjust to the sudden star littered darkness blanketing him.
Snow is falling heavily in the dense woods, the tree he is tied to cutting into his back as he struggles, panic morphing into fear as he calls out, screaming for anyone to answer him, the feral need to escape squashing his logic and reasoning.
He searches frantically for anything in reach, anything he can use to cut himself free as he cusses and splutters with each painful tug of his arms against the bindings.
A twig snaps, his body goes taught.
Another snap.
Tears fill his eyes as he cranes his neck back, a whimper falling from his lips.
Something moves in the branches above his head.
Click, click. Skrrr. Click, click.
The noise comes to life all around him, his fate sealed.
Click, click. Skrrr. Click, click.
#joel miller#joel miller x y/n#joel x reader#joel miller the last of us#the last of us#dark#hurt#safety#apollyonsdarksecrets#no smut#friends to lovers
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It’s almost here
Hahahaha, I am FINALLY in the editing phase of the last two chapters (yes I said two double posting when it’s ready). I pretty much feel like Squidward trying to get this done between Christmas chaos, sick little baby, me and my husband being sick, and everything else that can be thrown on top.
Thank you EVERYONE for your amazing support, I can not wait to finally have it all completed but at the same time I am a little sad to see it end.
Much love
Apollyon
XOXO
Tag List: @kneelforloki @hmett20 @axionn @ncis0mrs0gibbs @morgthemagpie @zaddyhotch @little-miss-cherry-cola @fandomawesomness @heart-breaker8 @aad1993 @obsessed-oops @supercriminalbean @lex13cm @rosiehale23 @emptybagofchips77 @icarusgloom @imr0nni3 @cashtons-wife @mojo366 @mrsgweasley @hotchners-wifey @lelevs @normaltuesdaynight @tgskitten @char-jlhewitt @shinebrightlikeafanbase @emobabeyy @bunbunbl0gs @turtleshavesoulmates @mrs-ssa-hotch @balariie @eveyez-exe @nachofriess @aangell333 @wisdomcrys
#smut#apollyonsdarksecrets#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotch fic#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotch smut#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner smut#aaron hotchner x y/n#criminal minds smut#criminal minds aaron hotchner#criminal minds
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