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#anyway its on nexus if u want this man
mackrelkart · 5 months
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doodling my custom stardew wizard man
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glass--beach · 3 months
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hi !!!! :3 so, pd seems, in my reading like its a decent part about the kinda mass surveillance and commodification of personhood shit the world has got going on rn, in a kinda (yes, its cliche, but the radiohead influence makes it a bit more palatable) modern ok computer-esque way. anyways, i wanted to ask u, what motivated u to write about these subjects especially ??
i am transgender and so so scared
near every single person in the world carries a camera on them at all times with the capability of broadcasting its view to all of the internet. we have a culture of emotional armor and swords built to slip between its plates, to be angry or afraid or upset or even the wrong kind of happy is cringe. those who believe in some shadow government in some hidden room somewhere spying on us at all times are delusional - this is wrong - where labor can be outsourced for cheaper it will be. taxis are expensive to run, making people drive their own cars and find customers on an app for measly pay is much more cost effective. giving a music writer a salary is too pricey compared to hiring freelancers on a per article basis. and now surveillance has been, like so many other things, outsourced to civilians and their cameras and smartphone apps. a man sitting oddly on a couch is cheating on his girlfriend, a fold in a woman’s clothing is a hidden penis, we are the panopticon and the prisoner… this is the “society of control” - freedom as tyranny.
the nature of reality is at stake in our culture - “what is a woman?” “a woman” - those who refuse to understand transgender people are helplessly tied to some “deep reality” - “i know what you are!!” - which is ultimately an enforcement of the status quo socially constructed reality. transgender people recognize reality as something socially constructed and seek to bend it to their liking… pronouns and chosen names are after all meant for others to use rather than ourselves, they are third person terms, gender never worms its way into the terms “I” and “We”. our personhood is defined by other people, and can be invalidated or revoked by others… the insecurity created by this tension is ripe for advertising. take this boner pill, it will make you more of a man. take this injection, it will make you a woman. we are defined by our outside, our house, our car, our clothes, our skin, our bodies.
this is where the “family nexus” concept comes in - groups of people create their own pockets of reality. to christians, god is real and to deny this is insanity. to hardcore atheists, believing in god is insanity. to many psychiatrists years ago and some still today, to believe to be a different gender is insanity… and the insane deserve less rights than the sane, they don’t even know what is best for themselves. queer people seek to create a new sane. or rather to go “insane” in our own way the same way anyone who believes in anything does. create our own nexus where our experience of reality is simply true.
hope that helps at all and makes any amount of sense
oh yeah ok computer… maybe i’ll go off about that another time… much of the themes and sound of that record were a jumping off point for us. written in the 1990s, the end of history, time has marched on and yet we are still here stuck in capitalist reality. “did you lie to us tony” as if labour could ever do something about the fact that post 1991 “there is no alternative”… deeply tragic record but love runs through all of it undeniably… maybe i’ll go off about that in another post…
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justgeta · 2 years
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Karlson vibe download
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There's a lot of things about Borderlands 3 that makes it kinda a garbage game. And all of those things are valid and true but a aspect of bl3 that deeply bothers me isn't something I've really seen people talk about?? Maybe they have but I missed it but I want to say my interpretation. (Also like, spoiler warning throughout all of this post)
To start off with: hi, I'm a autistic afab nonbinary person and this is relevant for this little rant I'm bout to go on.
I want to begin by stating why I love this franchise so much.
Borderlands, whether you like it or not, is INCREDIBLY queer. And not in a coded kind of way, it's just flat out gay as fuck. And that means so fucking much to me. Borderlands 2 was one of the first times I ever felt fully represented in a game. Zer0 being this dumbass making Yugioh references and generally being a fun garbage boy and also being nonbinary meant a lot to me and I adore him to this day (nonbinary people can use gendered pronouns fuc off). And getting more and more into this series and finding out that basically every character was on some level queer was really cool to me. Maya being asexual and most of the characters being attracted to multiple genders so honestly and off handily was so refreshing and amazing to get to play through. The casual mentions of a woman's wife or some man's husband in the echo's you find or Moxxi talking about her ex girlfriends was one of the reasons I loved this so much.
Another thing I loved particularly about Borderlands 2 was how feminist it was. I can not tell you how quickly I lost my shit at Mr. Torgue talking about the friend zone being misogynistic(it is btw). And the repeated jokes about fully murdering men for being rude to women was some of the highlights of my first playthrough. Punching a guy till he explodes because he disrespected a sex worker?? Fucking immaculate.
SPEAKING OF SEX WORK.
Mad Moxxi is a icon. She is a mother of MULTIPLE children, a survivor of rape and assault and a fucking bad bitch who runs a now intergalactic titty bar. Getting to have not only a sex worker be respected in a narrative, Moxxi is fun and a genuinely complex character who isn't defined by her job or her appearance. She is emotional and strong and funny and flawed but amazing person.
And then there's the way the male characters a represented and treated. I'll be honest here, I haven't really played Borderlands 1, mostly because have been spoiled by auto pick up and also I just didn't feel like it. So my idea of most of the men are based entirely off of Bl2, the pre-sequel and Tales. Anyway, Mordecai in particular is a character I really liked upfront. I love how a lot of his motivation and character is driven by his love of animals and Bloodwing. He's kind and though troubled knows when to get his shit together and be there when he needs to be. His casual "are you okay?" After the latter falls in the Arid Nexus was such a nice moment and the way he genuinely tries to be there emotionally for all of the people around him who he cares for is so fucking rare to see in a male character. And his arc of giving up alcohol to focus on being a better bird dad and you getting to help Brick make Mordecai a special gift to celebrate his sobriety is so amazing and I'm so proud of him.
Mr. Torgue is my dad and I love him. As mentioned, he is normal and believes that the friend zone is absolute garbage talk is ICONIC™ and the best scene in that game fight me. Torgue is a crybaby. He is an emotional person who is not afraid to express his pain and hurt when people are mean to him. He respects women and loves unicorns. The fact that is physical appearance is a big muscle guy who screams but is the literal opposite of toxic masculinity will forever make him the best male character of all time and I love him and he is my dad.
Roland was a character that I was never in particularly attached to but I still respect him and did enjoy his presence. I really appreciated his leadership style being primarily based on empathy and logic as opposed to him being a big meanie man with a HUGE dick who yells at people. I always really resonated with the echo from Tannis talking about how she came to Sanctuary. Roland going out of his way to bring Tannis to safety while completely respecting her autism and struggle with socializing really made his death hit harder when Tannis was very obviously distraught by losing him. It really seems that Roland was the only one who didn't treat her differently. And as someone who's autistic, finding people who legit 100% understand and respect you and just let you live the way you want/need to is kinda hard and those are the qualities I'd personally want in a leader.
Angel is also a big spot of affection for me. Handsome Jack being a irrefutably horrible person who Angel flat out says gaslights people and killed her means a lot to me considering 99% of Bad Parent stories end with "I forgive u" getting to see an abusive victim take that narrative and say fuck you was powerful and meant a lot to me coming from my own abusive home life.
There's a lot of other things I love about Borderlands but if I keep going I won't stop lol so let's get into why Borderlands 3 makes me so uncomfortable.
One of the main things that bothered me was the sexism. Its nothing too horrifying but given how feminist bl2 was it was really shocking and a bit hurtful the number of times women are called bitches or made to seem crazy. If you recall I brought up how you punch a man to death for calling a woman a bitch? Yea no, in this game we mock women for having boundaries and opinions because lol she's just a CRAZY BITCH who just needs to stop acting so hysterical am I right guys?
Yea the whole mission with that stupid bear thing and his ex robot girlfriend made me insanely uncomfortable and upset. I kept waiting for the gotcha moment where it says actually this bear guy is a dick and he shouldn't use language like that but no we just,,,,,, are supposed to laugh along. I hate it.
Even though Borderlands 3 is still very much queer, this game introducing 2 new trans characters as well as a whole DLC about a gay marriage and one of the playable characters being a lesbian there was this some shit that bothered me.
The mission where you crash and ruin a lesbian wedding.
That mission made so upset and uncomfortable. I hated how traumatized and hurt Tumorhead was as I murdered her family and wife. I hated how unfulfilling the mission was where PLOT TWIST the lady was actually a spy or whatever. I hate how there's a mission about ruining some poor psycho ladies wedding. I would've much more preferred a mission where Idk Bloodshine asks you to help her kill a spy who's causing problems and then fucking go around Promethea collecting wedding decorations or something. OR MAYBE JUST NOT A MISSION WHERE YOU KILL LESBIANS FOR NO FUCKING REASON.
I'm mad, anyway.
I also hated how Tannis was treated in this game. Under absolutely no circumstance would Doctor Patricia Tannis ever willingly take up a position of leadership. She is a severely autistic woman who gets nose bleeds from talking to people she wouldn't just be like "I'm in charge now pls talk to me!!!" Fuck off. And the joke about her dating a minecart isn't funny. The whole thing with the chairs, though funny in its absurdities was still a very important and powerful moment of character exploration. Tannis is insane. She is traumatized and hurt and in a moment of severe torture, she humanized some inanimate objects to cope. Tannis crying over the echo over Phillip is a heartbreaking moment of true vulnerability. It is also funny, because that's how good dark comedy works. It can be both hysterical and emotionally ruining at the same time. So what exactly does Tannis divorcing a minecart mean? What is this saying about her character? Why is it funny? Because lol lol reference??? Again, fuck off.
I hate how the Calypso twins childhood is handled. Troy implies it was horribly abusive and traumatic. But when we met Typhon whatever, he acts like it wasn't that bad??? He acts like he just didn't buy his kids the latest iPhone and oh no whoopsie now they're evil, my bad guys. It feels super weird and I don't like it.
Speaking of abusive parents. THEY DID MY GIRL ANGEL DIRTY SO BAD. This was literally when I decided I hated this game. Angel being the one who killed her mother and not Jack was fucking horrible. Especially after the literal foreshadowing in borderlands 2 implying he did. The fact that Jack is treated like a fearful man making what he thought was the right decision was insulting. I get that MattPat manipulated the fandom into thing Jack is a uwu bean but fuck you, you're the writers and you should fucking know better. Handsome Jack saw his daughter had power and turned her into a living battery for him to use as he saw fit. He was not scared and he was NOT right. Fuck you and fuck you for framing child abuse as chill and ok if your spooked enough like that. And the mission directly contradicts the echo's in Get To Know Jack. If Angel killed her mom why does she ask Jack where her mommy is when he's putting her in her chambers?? Why is it in the echo Jack is aggressive and forcibly and hurtfully makes her go into her chambers but in the memory, he's quiet and passive about it?? That's literally just flat out bad writing. Also fuck you.
Anyway,
I think that's really all I wanted to say about this topic. Obviously, there are also things that suck about bl3 but I'll try to chill and not make this too long.
I mostly wanted to make this to see if people cared/are bothered by the same things I am. I've seen how some of the fandom treats the more emotional and gay aspects of this franchise(the people throwing a fit over Amara, the friend zone line, not respecting trans peoples pronouns, sexualizing and being gross about Moxxi)
Anyway that's it byeeeeeeeeeeeee
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vaguely-concerned · 4 years
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Mass Effect: Annihilation thoughts
TL;DR I fucking LOVED IT, a balm to my heart after struggling through Nexus Uprising! Also canonical lesbians! The sweetest quarian & his badass grandma! Elcor Hamlet except this time it’ll make you cry!!! 
- Aaaaaah the audiobook reader is Tom Taylorson (so male Ryder)!! Fryda Wolf (female Ryder) read the two others and did a nice job, but man I’m soft for his voice in a way only rivaled by (...outside-of-Overwatch!)Jennifer Hale and Nicholas Boulton haha. He also has a much better handle on the pronunciations and voices for the different alien species -- delightful, I’m still cackling over his pitch perfect elcor impersonation. (Bioware please give him more Scott Ryder to voice I miss my son)
- I’m only about half an hour in and this is already SO much better than Nexus Uprising, it really does feel like a brave new galaxy haha. Very funny, very warm and smart and engaging in how it does its characterization and Valente clearly has affection for the setting and the universe, she and Jemisin both do incredible jobs with these. 
- I’m fucking crying laughing at this cross-species near-brawl over a flower arrangement, god I love Mass Effect SO MUCH (what a neat idea though. something blooming quietly even when no one can see it. impractical as hell and hilariously including a high-nutrition celery now, but still neat)
Taylorson continues to wonderful things with the voices, that volus suit sound is so good. (he’s just generally really good at comedy) also a volus bellowing insults ‘moments before punching an anti-bouquet batarian in the groin’ sdafhjklsahfsjadkhfklajshdfkjlsadhf
- a high as a kite elcor... what a time to be alive, to get to read this book
I have already reached the ‘I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR’ stage with these characters, hard boiled drell detective lady and sweet sweet quarian first officer and manically enthusiastic elcor doctor TOT I would die for any one of you!!!
- The quarian/multispecies ark was built for long-term habitation, potentially over multiple generations. So what you’re telling me is that the quarians are the only ones who fucking thought this through and the rest of the Initiative probably should have listened to the people who’ve essentially been living on arks for ages. Who’d’ve thunk huh lol. (I guess the in-universe explanation is that people like the mysterious benefactor just wanted those arks yeeted to Andromeda ASAP, no time to get fancy in case the Reapers changed up their schedule. Fair enough)
- ;n; petition to let senna have a SAM pls (also uh. how happy do you think the stringently anti-AI quarian pathfinder will be when he finds out about everyone else’s SAMs lol lol lol he’s going to PASS OUT FROM RAGE upon meeting ryder. well he sounds like an asshole, I hope he dies so senna gets a chance)  
- I can’t BELIEVE yorrik is an anti-stratfordianist, i am betRAYED! disgraceful, how can I still love you knowing this (and yet I do he is extremely funny and sweet)!!! (at least his theory is that this so-called ‘shakespeare’ was actually an elcor, which makes it better somehow lol. anything so long as he’s not an oxfordian tbh)
senna and yorrik’s friendship is so good and wholesome 
- I really love the consistent alien POVs in this book, mass effect should indulge in this more -- everyone loves this universe so much, bioware, stop making us squint through a human lense to look at it!!  
- oh of course quarian ‘pirates’ exist, the people who’re thrown out of the fleet must be doing something huh. 
- haven’t written that many notes in a while just because I’m enjoying myself so much, I keep forgetting 
- lfsdkhfsajkldhfskadjhfsjakdfhsdkjfh communist volus!!!! this is not a drill, communist volus! I am completely and utterly charmed by this entire book
- the quarian ancestor VI is so interesting and weirdly touching. senna is adorable (and relatably neurotic lol)
grandma AI smoking T___________T I love everything about this, she’s so cool. the worldbuilding being done around pre-geth revolution rannoch here... exquisite 
- way to make me cry about batarians cat valente ;_______;
- the voice acting is SO FUCKING GOOD! I keep forgetting it’s one dude reading all these characters haha, I caught myself wanting to look up who voiced this dying batarian. (special shoutout that he does so many wonderfully distinct and specific female voices!) 
- haHA I KNEW the quarian VI was a full AI (or near enough that it makes little difference tbh)!!! this fabulous grandma was self aware the entire time b i t c h e s !!!!
- the running joke of borbala’s ‘you need ______? I can make _______ happen’ is SO satisfying hahaha
ooooooh serious femslash vibes!!!! initially I thought batarian ex-crime matriarch was too old for drell PI, but this is undeniable. (I don’t think we actually ever get to know how old annex is, anyway, come to think of it) I guess if asari get to be five times older than everyone else and still fuck freely this isn’t really that weird lol
- “don’t look! it’s not so bad if you don’t look!” ofhsdalfhskldlsfjas oh senna baby boy 
hey qetsi? qetsi both senna and I love grandma liat more than you. stand the fuck down 
- NOOOO GRANDMA LIAT ;______________________________________;
- do you think SAM could meet liat (either ship!liat or just grandma!liat).... and have... a friend ;_________; (a cool laidback friend who isn’t a murderous angaran ai who might very well go the murder suicide sort of friendship route lol) 
anyway I miss SAM a lot and love him??
- yorrik noooooooooooo this is awful everything is bad and terrible I love all of them so much why must senna be sad and watch everything he loves fade away 😭😭😭
“Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood/Clean from my hand?” He realized he’d forgotten to preface the words with an emotion. Now they wouldn’t understand what he meant.
Oh. Oh what a way to drive home the sadness and loneliness of this moment f u c k  (and again the emotion taylorson brings to it jesus cHRIST) 
I’m destroyed over how much senna and yorrik love each other, cross species found family out here wrecking my heart in true mass effect style 
- yorrik is such a great character though. he’d be so easy to make a one-note joke character (like most elcor have been in canon lbr), but there’s nuance and depth and just enough satsifyingly believable alienness there. (I love the staunch elcor ‘you can’t call anything love that hasn’t lasted at least two centuries’ perspective haha) his memories of his childhood and disappointment with his profession and everything... goodnight sweet prince indeed :(
- they went and made elcor hamlet heartbreaking how dare they 
(to be real for a second I think some of the human culture references are a little bit clunky, but the elcor hamlet stuff is perfect. contextualizing a throwaway joke from the original trilogy and giving it emotional depth, helping us see it from the elcor perspective and how frustrating and lonely it is to be so fundamentally not emotionally understood or seen on a level most of the other races are, despite their other differences, even though you have all these feelings and want to communicate... its very good.)   
fun additional fact: both mordin and yorrik have played/wanted to play polonius in a production of hamlet! though I guess mordin is the slightly problematic fave in that duo and yorrik is a sweet melancholic angel who has never done anything wrong in his life, I would say protect him but I guess it’s too late for that D:  
- qetsi giving off some real ophelia vibes here, I wish yorrik was here to see it, he’s the only one who’d properly appreciate it despite it all
- I. am. SO FUCKING HUNGRY for more mass effect after this (well even more so than usual) I’m so hyped!! I love this universe so much! I want a new andromeda game with senna as quarian pathfinder and grandma liat as the ship’s AI and see how they interact with ryder and SAM! (honestly though I feel like senna might be the one who’d translate the most cleanly into a game, I think there’s a lot of potential in him that’s barely being realized towards the end there with his deep righteous rage cutting through his uncertainty. also I just want nice things for him. is that so much to ask. he is a good boy, yorrik was so right.)
- aaaah not just femslash vibes, canonical lesbians, this is not a drill! I can’t wait until they propose... ‘we get shit done together, want to be in good cop/bad cop with me until the day we die y/n?’  
- the ME universe doesn’t feel quite itself without all these ‘background’ species hanging around, I suddenly realize. I dream of an Andromeda sequel with all of them on the board and in play again Y-------Y 
- potential Liat and SAM dynamics are so fucking interesting though! if she becomes/is confirmed as a full AI (all I hope and dream of), you’ll have two artificial intelligences with such different starting points but not that dissimilar goals? Liat was an organic person once who’s looking out for her family even now, and SAM is completely artificial but also intimately tied to and protecting His People. (and pulling a whole lot of symbolic weight re: the strength of familial/interpersonal relationships to boot; he’s the best way alec ryder managed to connect with his children. even though he was dead. because as established alec ryder was a disaster of a person)  
- I enjoyed the loose murder mystery structure of this quite a lot, but that might also be because nexus uprising is so shapeless and meandering by comparison that I’d be relieved by anything else (sorry I’ll stop ragging on NU soon it just. took some hours of my life I can’t get back)  
- jemisin did great stuff for characters already in andromeda (cora, SAM, alec ryder) and valente made me remember just why I love this universe so much and desperately want these aspects brought to andromeda too... and now I’ve exhausted all the fresh mass effect content I had available to me and will sit here consumed with lust for the rest of the time it takes for a new game to be announced thank you and goodbye  
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homeostasis-mahoney · 6 years
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wow i sure am excited for chrysalis for someone who’s 5000% sure it’ll disappoint me horribly
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ecotone99 · 5 years
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[SP] When you Know he's not Serious (the Psychic Wars)
We'd already started to fight. Last time it went down I got into an argument with a beer pong table in Polish. Devil Springs Vodka.
It was surprising to some people that I was fairly familiar with some of the Russian Gangs- for an American anyways. I didn't know who I'd marry into, Vegas odds had them bouncing before the contract closed. They weren't exactly Space Nerds. And like I said, we fight. We're competitive in the most fucked up ways because we can't really communicate. I move arms, they move coke, I harass the English, they harass the English. It's all very complicated.
Either way, I was having my fun with my dear sweet Canadian relatives (mostly presumed dead by now according to all), by being loudly engaged (to the psychic community). They really did have horrid habits, as a culture. Like inviting themselves to your wedding (wonder of wonders I did *not* get married to him). I had about twenty years of horror and mistreatment to extract from them from far, far away in the lovely Virginia. They'd tried to ride my coattails into England and the Upper Class.
And I was very quietly making time with Domhnal. He was a twitchy guy, with his hat set wrong and no sense of humor. But he could find a story in the dark, and had extremely good taste in jewelry, jobs, and vices. And I needed the work and the armor. Most of my Army contacts were dead or we were politely pretending we'd never met. The only one I missed was Jed, and he'd tried to do me more than once or twice. Rumor had him drowning while he tried to swim to Canada to off the evil Canucks once and for all. I had nothing to do with that watery epitaph.
So I hid under his quirky charm, his odd habits, and his rakish demeanor, and healed. I'd starting charting out Quantum Theory on the far wall again, but he didn't mind, just asked the occasional question, clever, but not intelligent. It happens. And it helps. It lets me think outside and gives me someone normalish to sound some of the weirder parts of Plank's Constant off of. It does funny things during Quantum Travel, they were having a hell of a time getting it to create a consistent pattern so they could use it for messaging. You could bolster it with story tropes, and anchor with consensual reality, but that seemed like a hell of a lot of risk for a message. I mean, we had email.
There was no way they were going to jump the deformities that would arise if they moved beyond the planned Space Station with a Heisenburg Drive. Still, the excitement was driving funding, and giving us something to think about besides carnage and mass burials. Disappearances and threats. Danger that you could feel on your skin. Dove ran his hand up the back of my neck and I leaned back. I spaced out sometimes, thinking and processing, but I was staring at a massive series of concept diagrams strung together with the cliched threads and pushpins, so I never looked that abnormal. Just exhausted. He wrapped his arms around me and I could cry.
I love sleeping alone. I use the whole bed. But I'm little, and I get cold easy. He made a great heat sink. I was staring at the upper left section of my main diagram and he made a small inquiring noise that you only make when you're completely comfortable around a person you care for. Or if you're a whore. I had to remind myself sometimes.
"Canadians were traders before we got them into the Program." Domhnal laughed softly and I smiled. They'd never thank us for it. There was a ridiculous amount of in fighting as people all over the world made a power grab. The BRIC countries were emerging just as the Papacy changed hands, and it was too much of a strain on the world, with the amount of civil unrest in the Middle East. The whole thing went.
"Now they know when we fight, even against each other, it's to learn," I pulled away and traced the storylines with one finger, illustrating as I spoke. It's the reason I used diagrams. A picture might be worth a thousand words, a diagram was worth even more. I was able to speak to people, and in moments when I might otherwise not, because I used charts. It was unprecedented for a woman, the closest we had was Angela Merkel's democratic rule of Germany, and she tended to use body language. Not that I didn't, in between shoving my soap box behind the pulpit. I just note when I'm that different. There was a lot of identity theft during the Psychic Wars. (Seriously, you hadn't thought of that?)
"But this whole bit-" I gestured against my notes on Canadian Quantum Theory, which involved a LOT on consensual reality and far less on cost benefit analyses on sink holes at formulae crossovers (except to note them as attack points) "- is mucking up the works. They're slowing down the ability to create a Heisenberg drive, and Lord knows we don't need anyone screwing with that right now, but they're causing more casualties than they're saving by turning data waystations into launching points."
Dove made a non-committal grunt. His Da was Air Force, mind was Army, so we rarely agreed, but he understood basic combat theories. One of the reasons military brats never get along in school. I smiled at him and he pulled me back in.
"What's America's stance on that?" He asked.
"America doesn't have one," I replied succinctly, "They don't see the problems in terms of social implications, even with physical manifestations, or fiscal ones. Which is weird for us, but not so weird. Getting John to Jericho has always been a bitch for us."
Dom nodded, and I sighed. I'd mixed metaphors, as I often do when speaking about my own country. I didn't want people to be able to explain what I'd just said, they tended to spend days whittling down a negative mould to cast it in before sending out some fairly nasty rumours. I was independent for a reason, I didn't have to agree with my country, and I was more powerful than the vast majority of her men. It was a strangely tenuous position, socially. It's why I focused on England, they found that sort of thing so normal it was referred to as entertainment.
To set his understanding I wrote 'English Interchange' on a slip of paper and pushpinned it into the wall on the right side of the main storyline nexus, past all of the agreement and so on. He frowned, but I don't think he realized he was doing it. Technically the British weren't sovereign to Canadians, their country was, but they were technically all citizens under a monarchy. Functionally they had a 52 country empire and they were more than just its flagship. They knew trouble when they saw it. I had to get the rest of the package and get it to the Nobles.
They might seem like a satellite power to most of the world, but they functioned socially, in a remarkably similar manner to the Upper Class in any large alliance or empire. Someday they'd get around to noticing that we had 52 countries as well and listen a little more. Until then well, we were Americans, we'd hold and just keep sending. It wasn't as though we couldn't take care of ourselves, we just hated when we got hit with the spray from other people's chamberpots.
I sighed, memories flashing along the crosspoints of the threads connecting the pushpins on the wall. It was the downside to remembering things socially, and thinking of them in terms of stories, and public opinion. You remembered. Screaming fury as I laid out marks past the line of bodies that would become my family. Singing pride as I finally marked the man who had been shutting down Army girls through the books we read for 16 years, a whole generation lost. Regret, loss, betrayal, pain.
Pain. I stretched my hand back over my shoulder and rubbed Dove's neck. He didn't think about things the way I did- his body asked a question and mine apparently gave him a definitive answer. He just held me as I pieced it all together so that it could be memorized and recited, in empath, an almost untrackable communication. Humming softly, he rocked me back and forth as I prepped everything a committed it for recall.
📷
Previously in the Psychic Wars...
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thegreatpikminzx789 · 5 years
Text
Face Our Fears - Etrian Odyssey 2 Untold - Chapter 1
Wattpad | Ao3 | Fanfiction.Net
Summary: As the Yggdrasil’s deepest darkness lies in defeat, Hibiki tries opening up about her past in an attempt to move on, but the past still lingers, lying in wait to provoke terrible memories from long ago...
Sequel to In the Deepest Darkness.
AN: Starting a new story with new characters. This time, starting with two boys. I haven’t worked with a couple of classes since I touched EO2U’s story mode, so I figured I’d start giving things some of the spotlight before the inevitable Nexus story (which will likely be slowly updated due to wanting to reach a certain point in Beyond the Stars before I go updating that like a freaking train). I also decided to go to a bit of a different direction for one class in particular. Experimentation can be the key, sometimes...
The night sky shined elegantly at this time of the day... As a castle far away from High Lagaard stood its solitary ground. Worn, seemingly ready to break structures were strewn around and on top of the castle's walls, the huge painted glass near the castle's peak gleamed from the moon's reflection cast upon it.
While the outside did not uphold the standards its rooms contained, it was more or less, shelter for the residents that resided within. The sound of footsteps was frantic, yet cautious... a door opened, as a Dark Hunter peers through the slightly cracked door.
Seems like he was in the library. Despite the sparse, yet separated candles and lanterns hanging around, it was more than enough to provide light as the man entered the room. His white hair easily contrasting with the dark skin, and eyes as yellow as the sign of gold... He looked behind him, motioning someone to follow him, as he proceeded to walk slowly through the library, as if trying to recount something.
A four legged animal entered the room, soon followed by a white haired Troubadour. Unlike most Troubadours, his eyes were the same color as the Dark Hunter that motioned him and the four legged individual into the room. Adding more to precaution, the Dark Hunter whispered to the Troubadour to close the door behind him, to which the Troubadour silently did, so as to not make any noise, before catching up with the short Dark Hunter.
"Are you sure running away is our best option, Riaels? We'd make mother and father angry at us..." The Troubadour inquired, as the Dark Hunter turned his head to the side, his eyes focused on the objective, yet still wanting the taller person to hear him. "Look, Akakio... I'm tired of mother beating the shit out of us with her whip and father's relentless demands which had dire consequences if we did not succeed them." the man known as Riaels began, as he stopped for a brief moment to recall something in his mind, before snapping his fingers in realization, and headed up the stairs, with the animal and troubadour  following behind.
"Besides, they said something about us not leaving our room to see our sister at night... What kind of parents pull that kind of bullshit on us?" He continued, his voice entering a growl upon uttering the rest of his sentence.
Akakio gulped and twiddled with his fingers. "S-Surely, we could convince them to let us see her-" He began, before the shorter brother let out a disgusted sigh, before turning to face Akakio.
"Bro, we already tried! They said she fled from home without them knowing about it, and ever since, we've become their targets of aggression. I wish they would stay nice, but that won't fucking happen..." Riaels muttered, trying to prevent his voice from getting any attention beyond the room they were in.
He turned back around, as the wolf stood beside Riaels, as if awaiting orders, before Riaels finds the bookcase and started heading towards it. The wolf and older brother followed right behind him, as Riaels quickly switches between the books, before pulling a book that had a large "CLICK" occur upon being tilted, as the bookcase slowly opened to reveal a secret passage.
"This seems like the passageway our sister mentioned, judging by the note she left hidden for us. If things go well, we should be in the underground bay in no time..." Riaels spoke, motioning for his brother and wolf companion to follow him through, as he entered the passageway first.
"Come on, Tyro." Akakio utters, following behind Riaels as the wolf follows in pursuit of both him and the troubadour. The bookcase closes behind them as the wolf entered the passageway. The passageway before them was long, yet didn't contain much aside from well lit torches. A few stairs happen to be the only means of progressing downwards, but it was better than having to leave their wolf companion behind, or risk losing him to a jump that may prove to be fatal...
"This is the passageway she went through to escape?" Akakio questioned, having not been here before. "It was mentioned in her notes that she escaped through this particular passageway. All the other secret passages just lead to other rooms in the castle..." the dark hunter responded, making his way down the first flight of stairs.
Only the sound of footprints was heard through the long room they were in, as the two men tried to be quiet as best as they can. As they descend down the fourth flight of stairs, a straight path towards a huge tower on the side of the path beside them was seen at the end of the passage way. "This must be the back end of the castle... Only a few guards know of this location and are set up here. If we can get past them-" Riaels stopped himself, thinking he heard something.
"What is it?" Akakio inquired, as Riaels looked behind him, trying to concentrate on the sound he heard earlier. The rampant sounds of footprints could only signal one thing...
"...Shit. The guards are coming, come on!" Riaels cursed, grabbing the troubadour's left hand and started running as fast as he can, with the troubadour having a difficult time trying to keep up the dark hunter's pace, as their wolf companion, Tyro, started running behind them as well. They soon make it out onto the castle wall, running along the path before them, as adrenaline and a rush of worry came over the dark hunter, charging forward despite the danger.
"Can you stop holding onto my hand, Riaels? I can run just fine by myself!" Akakio asked, not sure if his younger brother heard him over the frantic breathing he had.
"Don't be stupid, Akakio! I can't afford to leave you behind for one second! Besides, those guards could shoot us at any second!" yelled Riaels, continuing to run forward before a mysterious attack struck the ground near the tower, nearly avoiding the attack as they turned to the right.
A male Hexer was looking in the distance, his eyes and head following the running trio. He points to them, as if issuing an order, and the guards behind him start making their way down to the castle wall,  jumping down from atop a lookout spot to give pursuit to the fleeing members of the household. Riaels turns to see the guards from the secret passageway have joined the guards jumping from the nearby tower and lookout platform in hot pursuit.
"Damn it... Tyro, you and Akakio go on ahead! I'll see if I can do something about these guards!" Riaels commanded, as Tyro barks and runs ahead of the brothers. He lets go of the Troubadour's hand, letting him go onward.
"Be careful, brother!" Akakio shouted, before catching up with Tyro. Noticing a guard sleeping on the job, he quickly takes the gun from the guard's hand, and took out a Grimoire stone before stopping himself and turning around to analyze the pillars behind him, but just beyond the sleeping guard.
While the pillars themselves have gotten weak with age, it seems like a few shots will do just the trick. "Hope you enjoy going the long way around, bitches!" yelled Riaels, as his Grimoire stone gleamed as he pulls the trigger, shooting at the four pillars in front of him to the point that bits and pieces of the roof suspended by the pillars he shot starts to collapse.
Grinning as if he was overjoyed at his work, he pocketed the gun and Grimoire, before following Akakio and Tyro. The pillars eventually give way, as the roof cracked into a bunch of giant rocks, slowly building up a pile that blockaded the only path forward. "Oi, what nonsense is this?!" One of the guards yelled in frustration. "Those blighters are going to escape! Everyone, start digging through!" one of the guards commanded.
"Hold it, private!" One of the guards, dressed sharper and showed his status as the colonel intervened, marching right up to the guard that suggested they start digging. "Who do you think issues the orders around here?!" the colonel yelled, as the guard flinched back in surprise.
"U-Uh, t-that would be you, sir!" the guard replied in a panic, as the colonel leaned back and turned around. "If we dig through, we'll lose track of them! We'll have to take the standard means of entering the bay! Move out, troops!" the colonel ordered, as the troops did not hesitate, sprinting to their objective with due haste.
Riaels catches up to Tyro and Akakio, as the older Troubadour glanced him. "I heard something collapse Riaels, what happened?" he inquired, as the Dark Hunter whistled at Tyro and getting the wolf to approach him. "Took a gun and shot some weakened pillars. They weren't gonna last, anyway." he quickly explained, bending on his knee and stared into Tyro's eyes.
"Tyro, listen to me; I know you don't like being in water, so this descending hill at this part of the castle is the only way for you to get down to High Lagaard. It's not far from here, just follow the path once you clear the forest path straight through. When you get there, I want you to find our sister. This sketch of her from what Akakio found should be enough to get someone's attention."
Riaels takes out a piece of paper, and shows it to Tyro, as the wolf turns his head a few times. "Got it memorized, boy?" he queried, as the wolf barks and wags his tail. "Good. I'll place this sketch in an envelope attached to your collar."
Riaels takes out Tyro's collar, placing it around the wolf's neck, and placed the sketch in the envelope, petting Tyro's head after sealing it.
"We'll be there soon, Tyro. Keep our sister well guarded until then, got it?" Tyro nods, letting Riaels help him get onto the hill. "Now, get going, we'll see you in High Lagaard!" Riaels commanded, as the wolf barked back before making its way downhill.
"Are you sure it's a good idea to separate him from us?" Akakio questioned, as Riaels stood up. "It's better than having a drowning Beast companion on our hands. We know he can't swim well..." sighed Riaels.
"Now come on, we have to hurry, or the guards will cut off our escape!" he continued, not stopping for a single second. The troubadour followed suit, coming across a seemingly abandoned tower with a ladder going down somewhere.
"This will be our shortcut to the bay. Because for some reason, they decided a maze inside the castle near the bay would be a wonderful idea..." Riaels groaned upon questioning why a maze to the bay would be suitable when entering or leaving the bay. Akakio nodded. "Got it..."
The Dark Hunter starts making his descent down the ladder. Akakio gives him a couple of seconds before he starts climbing down too. As Riaels lands on the dusty ground, he quickly heads to open the hidden door, opening the way to the bay for him and Akakio, while blocking off the main passageway to the same destination.
"That ought to cause a problem for the guards while we prepare to set sail." Riaels chuckles to himself, letting Akakio pass by him to open the door to the bay. Closing the door behind him, Riaels locks the door to make it even harder on the guards' end to give chase to them.
Akakio sighed in relief. "Good, there's a boat left. It should be sturdy enough to get us to Lagaard." he noted, placing his beloved violin around his neck and getting onto the boat, grabbing the oar beside him. He glanced at Riaels grabbing some food from the nearby cabinet.
"Hurry up, Riaels! The guards could be here at any second!" The troubadour yelled, causing the dark hunter to jump in surprise. "I'm sorry, it never hurts to have rations to store for our trip to Lagaard!" he apologized, quickly stuffing the food in his bag before placing it on his person and removed the rope from the wooden pole, and got onto the boat.
Riaels grabbed the other oar as the two started rowing for their lives, trying to find the perfect sync to get them as far away from the bay as possible. As they make progress, they both hear the door being bashed against, echoing through the chamber.
"They're already at the door?!" spoke a surprised Akakio, as Riaels gritted his teeth. "Shit... row faster!" the dark hunter issued, the troubadour nodding in agreement. "G-Got it!"
The two of them rowed faster from their previous pace, not stopping until were got out of sight from the bay, hearing the bashing of the door get quieter and quieter... "Good... we've lost them..." Riaels sighed, nearly exhausted from all the adrenaline he had been feeling.
"It's a good thing this was the only boat on board... those guards can't swim for shit." he continued, placing his oar inside the boat, as Akakio did the same. "I hear you... swimming while also fighting tends to have no great benefits, especially in the labyrinth..." the troubadour chatted, as Riaels raised an eyebrow.
"The labyrinth...?" Riaels questioned, as the older brother blinked in surprise. "Y-You NEVER heard of the great tree that is Yggdrasil?! The giant tree that lives right beside High Lagaard?" Akakio gasped, leaving the dark hunter to blink in return.
"How should I know what a giant tree is named after? Especially with us getting abused, I never would've had the opportunity to known that such a thing exists..." Riaels sighed, placing his bag next to him, taking out the food that he stole.
"Might as well have these to help replenish our strength. We're gonna need to search every inch of High Lagaard to find our sister." Riaels began, lending some of the food to Akakio. "Then what?" the white haired troubadour inquired, seeing the dark hunter's eyes shift and placing a finger on his chin, feeling rather quiet for what seemed like an eternity.
"...Hopefully live out the rest of our lives in peace with her. That's about as much as I wanted to accomplish." he finally replied, grabbing one of the food next to him, unwrapped the foil, then started eating.
"I heard that here's some floating castle up above the Yggdrasil... Do you think she might be up there?" Akakio inquired, starting to eat the slab of meat in his hand.
"Pfft, I doubt it." Riaels dismissed, doubting their sister would abandon the castle she used to live in just to live in one above a giant tree. Though he probably also dismissed the floating castle segment of his brother's sentence.
"Well, can we at least conquer the Yggdrasil as we desperately hope to find her-" the troubadour started, before he saw his younger brother raise a finger to his mouth to silence him. "She's not going to be in the Yggdrasil, Akakio! I doubt she would live in a dangerous place such as that..." Riaels disputed, simply ending the conversation right then and there as he focused on the food in his lap.
They soon make it out of the castle's underground chamber, as trees of varying shapes now surrounded the river that is carrying them to their destination. Despite the calming nature of the riverside, one must never underestimate the signs of nature, for they can be quite as deadly as monsters themselves. The boys were in no rush, enjoying the food until they had their fill. The dark hunter decided to help speed the process by rowing the boat himself, grabbing the oars and sat in the middle, looking forward as he attempted to find the right pace to move the boat faster.
Akakio, with nothing else to do but wait and be on the lookout, decided to start another conversation. "I can't help but ponder why our mother just doesn't want us to see our sister..." he began, crossing his arms in contemplation.
"I've personally never seen her, you've only seen her once by sheer coincidence..." Riaels clarified, as he had never seen their sister once in his life. He didn't even believe Akakio because he didn't want to act out of line back then.
"But ever since she left, that memory has been beaten out of me... It hurts, you know?" Akakio sighed, looking up at the night sky.
"Getting hurt by a whip always hurts-" the dark hunter began, before being cut off by the older sibling. "No, not that... the pain of losing someone you never knew... yet you feel you're connected to each other, somehow. It hurts, having that happen to me..." Akakio explained, letting out a regretful sigh.
"...I see. I guess I can see why becoming a Dark Hunter just wasn't your forte." Riaels concluded, turning the boat so it followed the river's current to the left. "I really missed hearing father's smooth singing voice... He said he was off to explore, but never came back."
Riaels wondered, as the older sibling looked back at him. "And when we thought he returned, an elder War Magus told us and mother that our father had passed away. Next thing we knew, he was our replacement for a father..." Akakio added, as he soon glanced at the river's reflection.
"I can see why mother didn't want to re-enter a marriage like that, but I personally feel like there's more to this than we don't know about..." Riaels considered, "Because not only do we have a father to find, we also need to find our sister..."
Akakio took a deep breath before he sighed. "I suppose so... It's not gonna be easy, but I'm supporting you all the way, dear brother. And we have Tyro by our side." He commented, seeing the dark hunter nod in the corner of his eye.
As time flew by, the sky soon started to change color, as the sun starts to rise. Although the Troubadour has a hard time seeing it, he knows that morning is about to arrive very soon. "The sun is lookin' miiiighty fine today~" Akakio beamed, as the younger sibling looked at him.
"But it's only six in the morning, Akakio, of course the sun would come up at this time of day." Riaels jested, before looking to his side, and blinked in surprise at what he saw. "Ho...ly..." he stuttered, getting the troubadour's attention to look towards him, but then looked at what he saw.
There it was. The giant tree known as Yggdrasil stood ever tall on the city of Lagaard, as both males stood up in amazement. "That, my brother, is the famed tree of legend; the Yggdrasil! And what do you know, it looks like we're almost close to our destination!" He pointed out, as Riaels looked at where his older brother was pointing at.
The town of Lagaard was just in sight! All they had to do is park the boat over to the nearest portion of land or a dock, and they were home free! "We're... gonna make it! I can't believe we're gonna make it!" Riaels stammered, almost thinking that this was all a dream...
"Yeehaaaw! This calls for a celebration song!" Akakio cheered, taking out his violin and started strumming the strings on it.
"Heeeeere we are, only a few miles, from the tree known as Yggdrasil, off to find our sister that we don't know much about, and off to find our father too~" He sung, continuing to play his violin, before a sudden attack hitting the water and the land to the left of the troubadour caused him to stop in his tracks. "Aaagh!" He grunted, trying to stay firm on the boat as Riaels rushed to his side.
"Akakio, are you alright?!" The older sibling nodded. "I'm fine, but I think somebody's trying to stop us..." Akakio wondered, as the two siblings started looking around.
"From out HERE?! But I thought-" Riaels questioned, not seeing a single person in sight. Getting the feeling he was watched, he turned to see what was in front of the boat, gasping as he saw a male Hexer floating over the water, seemingly going at a slow pace to keep ahead of the boat. Akakio soon noticed, and let out a little shriek.
"O-Okay, that's new!" The troubadour exclaimed, having never seen that kind of thing occur before. "The hell are you supposed to be?" Riaels questioned.
No response. Riaels gritted his teeth, almost to the point he was making a snarl. "Gonna play THAT kind of game, eh?!" Riaels inquired, quickly getting his gun and Grimoire stone out, shooting a few fire rounds at the Hexer.
Something on the Hexer gleams as the elemental bullets dissipate upon hitting the Hexer, leaving both the dark hunter and troubadour surprised. "What the hell?!" Riaels yelled, blinking to make sure he didn't just miss his shots.
"Was that a Grimoire stone he just used?!" Akakio questioned, as Riaels tries using some ice rounds for the second attempt. Same thing happened with the fire elemental bullets...
"The shadows grow, and you have no hope..." The male Hexer finally spoke, his voice sounding rather perplexing and confusing. "Huh?" Riaels uttered to himself.
"What do you mean by that?" Akakio inquired, as the hexer turns his head to face him. "You will break, you will quake, at the things I know..." Now he was just starting to sound mysterious and foreboding. And being this far out from land might prove to be an issue.
"Enough of this nonsense!" Riaels aimed the gun at the Hexer again. "Wait, brother!" the older sibling yelled, moving the gun's trajectory out of  but the troubadour moved the gun away from the hexer.
"What are you doing, Akakio?!" the young sibling questioned, looking at his brother with anger on his face. "If he knows our sister and father, he can tell us where they are in Lagaard!" Akakio insisted, looking at the hexer without hesitation.
"Please Mr. Hexer, can you please tell us where our sister and father is?!" He asked, as the Hexer gave him the silent treatment for a couple of seconds, before an eerie smirk appeared on his face. "You who look, but are blind to see..." He began, as Riaels growls and aims the gun at the hexer once more, the older sibling not noticing him doing so as his attention was fixed on the hexer before him.
"Stare into the abyss..." The hexer raised his hand above him as a giant orb of light forms above it. "I think he's more interested in killing us more than giving out information, Akakio!" Riaels declared, the older sibling looking back at him.
"I just thought I'd ask!" He insisted, turning back to face the Hexer with his violin in hand. "Time to end this show..." The man spoke, as he revealed a Grimoire stone clutched between his fingers, letting the ball of light fire right at the boys.
Riaels shoots the ball of light, seeming to stop the attack, before it divulges into a flurry of light beams. He then tries shooting those back, but as he ends up getting hit by one of the beams, the other beams start utterly annihilating the boat, and an explosion under the water caused the boys to be launched into the air, before plummeting to the water's depths. The Hexer retracted his hand into his robe, making absolute sure that they did not survive. Even if they did, they'll drown before they can make it to land. Believing his mission to be done, he takes out an Ariadine Thread, using it to make his exit.
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