#anyway i’ve emailed HR but they have an out of office automatic email thingy so i left a voicemail as well
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Well I failed to get even a single second of sleep last night so I’ve cancelled the job interview. My life is a comedy of errors
#i mean i don’t feel as bad as i think i would if i’d gotten an hour or something. for me the headache usually sets in#when i’ve had inadequate sleep rather than no sleep#but i look like hell; my sinuses are congested; i feel drunk; i’ve lost the ability to count#and i’m liable to faint on public transport either going there or coming back#and i feel the need to mention i never consume caffeine of any kind so i’m pretty sure if i got like a big espresso or something#it’d send me into cardiac arrest. like it would make me even more incomprehensible than i am now#there’s just no point me going in. they’re not going to give me the job#even if i’d gone in with a full night’s sleep they probably wouldn’t have given me the job. it would literally be a waste of everyone’s time#anyway i’ve emailed HR but they have an out of office automatic email thingy so i left a voicemail as well#or at least i think i did. something beeped and then i started at it waiting for something to happen and nothing did so i explained myself#as best i could (which is not well because i’ve never been able to explain myself in this climate)#have i done enough? i think i’ve done enough. i just don’t like the idea of the panel showing up and wondering where i am#i’ve spent the last year teaching and studying there for god’s sake. i don’t want their last impression of me to be ‘no-show’#is it my fault HR had a training day today and the voicemail thing is confusing? no#anyway i don’t know what to do with my day now. i’m not calling them again. i don’t trust myself to talk to a human person#i know there are people who will have the mentality that i should’ve just chugged coffee and gone in#but frankly those people can go to the moon for all i care#like i don’t want to hear it. sorry i didn’t think a 1% chance of getting this job despite being out of my mind was worth roughly a 99%#chance of embarrassing myself in some way; probably by passing out on public transport or crying or hallucinating#(i’m literally fucking hallucinating that the spider i killed last night is everywhere. maybe he is. maybe it’s his wife. who knows)#all i’m saying is if anyone says the wrong thing to me they will find out that hell hath no fury like a woman#who literally did not get even a single second of sleep last night and wants to bite something#i did the right thing and i’m not arguing about it#personal
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