#anything goes bootleg | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strang3lov3 · 7 days

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You and Joel both know how he got that virus on his computer, and you can’t help but to relentlessly tease him in more ways than one…until Joel’s had enough.

Alternatively, Joel should really stop clicking on links that Tommy emails him. (7.6k)

Tags - neighbor!joel, grumpy!joel, pre/no outbreak, porn watching, joel straight jorkin’ his peanits, teasing, lingerie, handjobs, upside down blowjobs (like what happened in spider man), rough sex, manhandling, oral (f receiving), come eating, fingering, overstim, soft dom!joel, porn watching, reader has a bush but is otherwise not described Fic Help - @joeloverture, @joelsgreys, and @endlessthxxghts for their beautiful brains, and @noxturnalpascal and @beefrobeefcal for editing and patiently explaining dial up internet to me for this fic 🩷👾📀🖥️ Patti, I seriously cannot thank you enough. You made this fic fucking perfect. A/N - sorry for the delay on getting joel out to you in a timely manner, he should be cumming a lot more frequently…maybe. I do have a vacation I’m leaving for in less than a week. Also, thank you for all the well wishes and participation on my anniversary/5k celebration, I love you all so very much 🩷

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You know what you came here for. Grumpy, technologically inept Joel fucking the daylights out of you below 👇🖥️🦠🛜👾😍🍑👅💦🍆

It's early evening on a Saturday and finally time for Joel to enjoy his day off. He spent the day doing yard work, grocery shopping, and chauffeuring his daughter to and from soccer games. Saturdays are never really very relaxing for him, so when he has a quiet moment, like right now, he takes advantage.

Joel draws the curtains closed in his kitchen as he stares at his computer setup and contemplates, even though his mind is already made up. It’s a sign - there’s a Victoria’s Secret coupon set that’s been sitting on his kitchen counter since this morning, addressed to you of course. Damn mailman can’t get anything right.

He sits down on the chair in front of the monitor and powers the machine on, opens the tower’s disc drive and inserts his AOL CD before opening the matching AOL application. He has a post-it taped to the bottom of a drawer next to him that he reads from every time to remember his username and password. Joel grumbles to himself as he unzips his jeans, something about ‘damn thing’s always takin’ too long to load’ as the screen goes from dialing to connecting to connected. Netscape takes even longer to load, but when it finally does Joel visits his favorite website, victoriassecret.com. He works his half-hard cock in one hand, feeling it stiffen in his palm as the screen loads slowly, images of lingerie-clad models coming to life bit by bit. Joel groans and squeezes himself.

He knows that jerking off to Victoria's Secret advertisements is juvenile at best. He knows other porn exists, he’s got old dirty Playboy magazines from his teenage years and even some bootleg VHS tapes that his brother Tommy copied for him. He’s tried to watch them, but they’re all sort of sterile and awkward, the dialogue fake and the women’s moans exaggerated and over the top, it takes him out of the fantasy. They can also only be played on the television in the living room, which is not ideal for a number of reasons.

Joel also knows that the women in these advertisements are not real, that they’re airbrushed and photoshopped to the point of looking like Barbie dolls. He knows that they have more curves and body hair than what he’s looking at on his screen, that they have cellulite, stretch marks, and all of the other things he loves on a woman’s body. But Joel is nothing but a man, and a lonely one at that. A hard worker and a dedicated father, he doesn’t have much time for dating. And importantly to Joel, Victoria’s Secret advertisements allow him to do something his dirty magazines and bootleg VHS tapes can’t - use his imagination.

Oh yes, Joel loves when a little mystery is left for him, to pique his interests. He loves to imagine what the model’s breasts look like, if they’re more round-shaped, or like tear drops. Would they hang heavy, swaying when she moved, or would they point outward, petite and perky? How dark or light are their nipples and what would they look like when hard? He loves to picture their vulvas, to visualize what their folds would look like spread in front of him, to envision how they maintain their pubic hair. He wonders what they look like when they’re wet, lips all swollen. It thrills him, excites him.

His eyes are squeezed shut and he’s pumping his cock when a loud email notification from [email protected] interrupts him. “Fuckin’ Tommy,” he mutters, clicking on the popup.

here’s this for your spank bank pervert

No greeting, no goodbye, nothing capitalized and no punctuation. Just one blue link and nothing else. Joel rolls his eyes but clicks the link anyway, more out of boredom than genuine curiosity.

Just like before, it takes a moment to load but when it finally does, Joel blushes. It’s a porn site where people appear to upload their own porn. It seems expansive, all sorts of categories. Immediately, Joel’s intrigued - he didn’t realize that this kind of stuff was available online. He guesses that he probably should have known that, but rationalizes that he doesn’t use the internet much. His computer is meant for a few things - playing Microsoft Pinball, emailing clients, and browsing Victoria's Secret during times like this. But this - this might’ve just changed the game.

From the thumbnails, these appear to be real people. People of all ages, from young adults to older lovers. Nudity plastered across his screen in all different shapes and sizes, a variety of lengths and cup sizes before him. There are people consensually exploring kinks and couples in love, everyone engaging in a variety of different sexual acts from solo stuff to threesomes to orgies. This has it all, gay, straight, and everything in between. After scrolling through, Joel notices that there’s a little magnifying glass to search for whatever one may fancy. Joel clicks on this and he first searches ‘boobs’. Then ‘big boobs’, ‘small boobs’, ‘blowjobs’, ‘doggy style’. With each search term he types in, the screen loads with various videos of his request. And then, just for shits and giggles, he searches for his favorite - ‘lingerie’.

The results are everything he dreamed of. Forget Victoria’s Secret, this has it all. Women of different sizes and skin tones, all in various stages of undress. Some wearing bras and panties, others wearing lace babydolls and teddies. One particular thumbnail has his interest piqued, though. It’s a woman in a robe, leaning towards the camera so her cleavage is showing. “Let me strip tease you ;)” is the title of her video.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH.

She doesn’t need to tell Joel twice. Joel clicks the link and watches a little popup on his screen indicate that a video is downloading. Once downloaded, he opens the file and begins to watch the video. The woman featured is cute, he thinks. She’s a curvy redhead and she’s teasing, smiling - he likes that. Those Victoria's Secret models don’t smile like this. She lifts her lacy pink robe and shows her ass where there’s a cute little heart-shaped peekaboo cutout in her panties. Joel likes that too. Joel’s been absentmindedly stroking himself and he sighs in contentment. She’s about to open her robe, show him her breasts and–

Windows System Alert

Error Code: 0x80070070

Your computer has encountered a critical issue due to a potentially harmful program. This issue has affected system files and may cause instability or loss of data.

Please take the following actions immediately:

Save all work in progress.

Disconnect from the internet.

Run a full system scan with your security software.

For further assistance, contact technical support.

“Well, that ain’t right,” Joel mumbles. Joel clicks on the little red X in the top right corner to make it disappear, but the popup is right back where it was, blocking that cute redhead from giving Joel a virtual show. He tries closing the message again, it pops right back up. Growing slightly irritated, Joel closes the media player altogether and reopens the downloaded strip tease video. It won’t open. “The fuck?” He tries opening an old untitled document from months ago, and yet again he’s met with the same error message. The popup is arriving in multiples now, blocking his screen. It’s like whack-a-mole, the way he’s closing one and two more pop up in its place.

Joel’s out of his depth here, so he decides to consult an expert. He lives right across the street from a total computer whiz, so he’ll ask her for help. He tucks himself back into his jeans with a soft groan, zips and buttons his jeans before making his way to her house.

You’re vacuuming your floor when you think you hear the faint sound of knocking, so you turn around to see a figure standing on your porch through your window. It’s Joel. Devastatingly handsome, grumpy, single dad.

You and Joel got off to a rocky start when you moved into the neighborhood a couple years back. He used to hound you about letting your grass grow too long, and you’d argue back by telling him that it’s good for the environment. Growing tired of your protesting, Joel decided to start mowing your lawn for you, without your consent. Not that you really minded, he always wears his grass-stained white and navy New Balance sneakers, his few-inches-too-short denim cutoffs and an old white tank top, stained with grease and his own sweat. It clings to his body, outlining his soft belly. His slightly graying but dark, damp curls cling to his perspiring forehead as his thick thighs clench with every step he takes, pushing that heavy lawnmower up and down your front yard. You compensate him with glasses of fresh squeezed lemonade, offer him a cool wash rag that he wipes his forehead with, the sweat and water dripping down his temple, over the stubble on his jaw. Tensions softened then, and Joel’s been a nice neighbor to have ever since. He, his brother and daughter are good people.

You tap the button on the bottom of your vacuum cleaner with your toe, shutting it off before opening the door for Joel. He looks a little disheveled - he’s breathing heavily, pupils blown wide. “You busy right now?”

“For you? You know I’m always too busy,” you smirk, tapping your foot against his shoe.

“Yeah, whatever. Listen, I’m findin’ myself in need of your computer expertise. Would you be able to help me, darlin’?”

It’s the way Joel calls you darlin’, how he flashes those sparkling, chocolate eyes at you, bats his long lashes and smiles at you in such a way that you’re sure he’s deliberately trying to send you to an early grave. You’re wrapped around Joel’s finger but nevertheless, you work your angle. “My time is precious, Joel. How will you make it worth my while?”

Joel rolls his eyes, “Oh, give me a break. I’ll mow your lawn. Does that work for you, princess?”

“You already mow my lawn.”

“Yeah, and I’ll keep mowin’ it. How’s that?”

“Cheap,” you quip. But you still smile and close the door behind you, and Joel blushes as you unknowingly take the hand Joel was just pleasuring himself with in yours, swinging your arms between you playfully as you cross the street to his house together. Your skin tickles when Joel places a hand on your lower back, guiding you to his computer setup before pulling out the chair for you. You log into his computer using his own username and password, something you know by heart. Joel has forgotten his password so many times, he used to call you - at a minimum - twice a week to ask you what it was. The only solution to that issue was for you to write it down on a post-it note and stick it next to the monitor for him. He absolutely hates that you’ve made him put dollar signs and exclamation marks in his password. “Seems unnecessary,” is what he would say, annoyance lacing his tone.

You retorted with, “Well if you can’t even get into your own computer, how could anyone else?” and Joel shrugged and nodded.

Joel pours both himself and you a glass of ice water, then sits down at the dining room table behind you. “So it’s uhh…” he starts, interrupting himself to sip his water. “Got this error message thing when you click on a file.”

Clicking a file, you see the error popup Joel’s referring to. “I see,” you mumble, clicking on a few others. Joel watches your brows furrow in concentration, a frown painting your lips.

Oh, shit. Joel didn’t even think to delete that file. “W-what is it? Why’re you makin’ that face?”

“I’m diagnosing.”

Right. Of course you are. You haven’t seen anything you’re not supposed to see, because it’s not like the files would magically start opening for your eyes only. Right? “What’s the verdict, doc?” Joel jokes, hoping you don’t hear the way his voice wobbles slightly with anxiety.

You suck in a breath through your teeth, “Not good,” you reply. “All of your files are corrupted, I thin–”

Joel interrupts, “What’s that, what’s corrupted? Is that bad?”

“Your turn,” you interrupt back, cocking an eyebrow at his impoliteness. It’s very unlike him.

“M’sorry, hon. Go ‘head, sorry.”

Joel needs to get it together. He’s fidgety and high-strung. He needs to calm down. It’s fine. It will be fine. You’re gonna work your magic and you’re not gonna see anything you’re not supposed to see. When you’re done, you’re gonna go home and Joel will go right back to his private time as previously scheduled - that’s probably what his biggest problem is, he’s blue-balled himself and he’s all wound-up. Problem will be fixed, easy peasy.

“When did you say this problem started again?”

“Uh, just a little bit ago,” Joel answers, walking over to the sink and getting himself a glass of water. “Thirsty?”

“No, thanks. What websites do you visit?”

Joel watches you browse his files and mess with the system preferences on his computer. “The weather mostly, or Amazon.. Orderin’ books for Sarah.” Which is a total lie, but he justifies this in his head by telling himself that you don’t need to know what website he visits the most. It’ll embarrass you both. And actually, Sarah prefers to go to the library. She even went today.

“Anything else?”

Joel lies again, “Check the news from time to time, check my team’s scores.”

You hum in response and continue typing. Joel wishes he could type like that, watching your fingers effortlessly fly across the keyboard. He likes the sound it makes, the quiet clicking and the tapping of your manicured fingernails. “What about emails, you avoiding those scams I told you about?”

“Yes.”

“Clicking on chainmail?”

“I am not.”

“Not anymore,” you mumble under your breath. Joel rolls his eyes. You’ll never let it go, will you?

Chainmail is how you became Joel’s IT girl. For a couple of months, you’d received various emails from him that were just copy-paste chainmail messages. You know, the ones that say things like ‘Click here to verify your account information. Send to 10 friends and family members to verify their accounts as well.’ You’d just delete, delete, delete, and reply back asking him to stop emailing you these things. But Joel never stopped, day after day he’d send you chainmail. After receiving what felt like the eightieth spam email from [email protected], you decided to confront him.

Joel awoke from an accidental afternoon nap to rather incessant knocking coming from his front door. He opened it only to find you on his porch, where you then proceeded to invite yourself inside. “What happened to hello?” he asked, his voice all sexy and raspy and his eyes tired, lines indenting his face from laying on the couch. He yawned, running his fingers through his curls to try and tame the bed head. You wondered if he always looked this handsome when he woke up.

“Sorry, hi,” you corrected. “Need to borrow your computer. Please.”

Yawning again, Joel sleepily gestured to his computer in the kitchen. “Knock yourself out. Damn thing ain’t actin’ right, though.”

You powered the machine on logged in using the post-it taped to his wall, rolling your eyes and shaking your head. Upon logging in and connecting to the internet, you noticed all sorts of glitches. Not even your computer ran consistently smoothly, but Joel’s was a wreck. Popups and error messages of all different kinds littered the screen, blocking the cute picture of himself and Sarah he had set as the background. “Wow, I couldn’t tell,” you teased. “You have more errors than you do applications on this thing, Joel.” Joel only shrugged in response. “Come sit by me,” you said.

Joel pulled up a seat next to you. “I wanna show you something. Can I open your email?”

“Go right ahead, hon.”

You opened Joel’s email and found his ‘sent’ box, where the last sent email was addressed to you. You clicked it and it opened to his last sent piece of chainmail. “I’ve asked you to stop sending me these emails,” you told him.

Joel looked crushed almost, a look of puzzlement and what might’ve been hurt momentarily painting his features. “You have?”

“I have.”

The chainmail on the screen was a common one he’d send you, the one asking you to give up your information to protect yourself. “I was only tryin’ to be neighborly. I thought you’d like ‘em, y’know - want you to keep yourself safe.”

It was endearing, the way he explained himself. How he wanted you to stay safe. Your frustration dissipated, only to be renewed as you looked in his spam folder to find all of your replies to him in there instead of his main inbox. “Joel, why am I in your spam folder?” you asked, sighing. Joel simply shrugged and you didn’t even have words. By the look on his face, he probably didn’t even realize he had a spam folder, much less knew what one was. But you had greater concerns. “What are those emails supposed to keep me safe from?”

“Well, from…” Joel’s mouth hung open as he thought about it, looked up and to the side as he began to realize he didn’t have an answer. “Uhh–”

“You don’t know, do you?” Joel shook his head. “Exactly. It’s called phishing, these emails you’ve been sending me aren’t real. They’re trying to get peoples’ personal information, like, look–” you pointed to the screen, showing Joel an example, “See? Here, it’s asking for your bank information.”

“And I wasn’t ‘sposed to give them that?”

You tilted your head in disappointment, “Joel.”

Joel groaned and leaned back in his chair, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Yeah, I know. Fuckin’ idiot.”

You were about to tell him to call his bank, but he was already on it. He pulled his Nokia phone from his belt clip and called his bank to explain the situation. As you went through his inbox and deleted each and every one of the hinky-looking emails, you listened to Joel on the phone.

“Didn’t realize there were these uh…email scams…Yeah, that charge was me. And that too…

…Will you call me f’ya see anything suspicious? Okay.

…Okay. Thank you, ma’am. Thank you. You too.”

From what you heard of the phone call, it seemed that he was safe. You guessed that Joel’s technological ineptitude is probably what had saved him, that he likely mistyped or misunderstood what the scam was attempting to do. You continued to delete scams and other malware-adjacent things from his computer as Joel hung up the phone call and sat back down with you. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, s’all good.”

Joel looked shaken, though. You touched his hand sympathetically and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You’re gonna learn some internet safety today.”

“Figured. I need it.”

“Yeah, you do,” you smiled. You went through his email, pointing out all the different scams. You told him not to click on links that look like this and that. This is a scam, this is too. You told him that anything attempting to sell fireworks, guns, or anything else at the low, low price of x amount isn’t real. And no, these emails here do not mean that you won a new TV or the lottery or a cruise. Anything that seems too good to be true definitely is. “...Actually,” you began, “All of these are from Tommy. New rule, don’t click on anything from Tommy.”

“Noted,” Joel replied. “I didn’t know any ‘a this.”

“Most people don’t. It’s new, yet. But you know now, so it’s okay.”

Joel breathed a sigh of relief, but he still looked overwhelmed. This time he took your hand and squeezed it. After a moment, he asked you where you learned all of this from. You explained you picked a lot of it up in school, just learning things here and there. Joel let you talk about it all and seemed genuinely interested and impressed.

“I went through and fixed all that was giving you trouble, by the way. Your computer should be running smoother,” you said. “And I changed your password. ‘abcde’ is not a good password, Joel.”

From that day forward, you became Joel's official computer girl. He’d call you and have you help him when he couldn’t get his computer connected to the printer, when he screwed with the settings and the computer didn’t look or act the way he was used to. Even the most basic things, like whenever he had a new picture of himself and Sarah he wanted to change the background to. Not that you minded, you’d jump at any opportunity to poke fun at your handsome neighbor’s lack of computer knowledge.

“Did you click on any links from Tommy?”

Joel goes quiet at that, remembering your very specific rule to not engage with him over email. He looks down at his hands as he twiddles his thumbs together. “I might’ve…one or two, maybe”

“What kind of links?”

“There– Fuck, I don’t know. You know, just…websites. They take me to websites. But I don’t give ‘em my information,” he insists.

“What’s on these websites?”

Joel thinks fast. “Truckparts,” he answers too quickly, and the two words come out as one. “Just truck parts,” he says again, slower.

“Well, you must’ve been looking at some sketchy truck parts. You’ve got a virus.”

“Okay,” he says. “Figured as much. But you’ve fixed those before for me, haven’t you?”

“I have, but this one means business,” you reply, shaking your head. You start to type a bit, click the mouse as you go through and attempt to delete corrupted files, but it’s not working the way it should. You open Netscape and check the browsing history to see if that can clue you in as to what website could have done this to Joel’s computer. “You said it just started?”

“Just started, yeah,” Joel affirms.

Which…tracks.

Today, Saturday, June 25, 2003

5:06 pm https://xxxmyvideos.com/lingerie

4:54 pm https://xxxmyvideos.com/doggy-style

4:50 pm https://xxxmyvideos.com/blowjobs

4:49 pm https://xxxmyvideos.com/small-boobs

4:49 pm https://xxxmyvideos.com/big-boobs

4:45 pm https://xxxmyvideos.com/home

His search history is nothing but porn, which you’re 99% sure is exactly what caused the virus. The time stamps all show that the site was visited within the last hour, and Joel says it just started, so…

“What’re you lookin’ at?”

“Well,” you say, hesitating before answering fully. “I am looking at your search history.”

Joel stares at the monitor like a deer in the headlights. “There’s - my uh…” he swallows thickly, “They keep records of that?”

“Mhm.”

“Well I told you - just….lookin’ at parts,” Joel’s hand wobbles slightly as he sips on his water.

“Yeah, lady parts.”

Joel sputters on his drink, choking and coughing as he slams the glass down and water spills everywhere. He uses the bottom of his t-shirt to clean his mess as he begins to turn red, feeling his chest and neck and cheeks begin to warm. He can’t even look at you, but he hears your giggles and he can picture your smug grin and he wishes so badly he was dead right now. You’ve seen it all, you know everything. You know it and so does he. He’s gaining the courage to look at you and oh god - you’re scrolling through the dirty website. Giggling, you’re looking at everything he looked at, fucking everything. You’re seeing the same dicks he saw, the same pussies, seeing the purple links that indicate exactly what he’s already clicked on. “Yeah, laugh it up,” he says angrily, defensively. “Ain’t that funny.”

Joel’s world is ending, but it’s really not as bad as he thinks it is. The porn is tamer than what’s often found on the internet, much tamer than the shit you watch. You continue to explore the site as you listen to Joel tell on himself behind you.

“It’s just somethin’ to pass the time,” he says. “It’s natural, alright? And I know you do it too.” He’s deflecting. Even still, he’s not wrong, you certainly do take part.

You just let him keep talking, relishing in having the upper hand in this situation. “You’re blushing,” you tell him when he quiets down, just to get him started and riled up again as you browse the site. You notice a lot of videos are duplicates, prompting users to download the same thumbnail uploaded by different usernames. Whatever Joel clicked on was probably not uploaded by a real person, though. He clocked on a gibberish username made up of random letters and numbers, unlike some other videos uploaded under actual names. Like Joel’s new found friend ‘cherry_girl_xo’, whose username link is purple. You smirk at that, turning around to look at Joel who definitely recognizes her. He’s bright red everywhere.

You’re sure this website is the culprit, but you check the rest of his search history to see if any other clue lies in there, but see nothing of import. All you notice are various links to victoriassecret.com, over and over and over again. Based on that and his last searched term on that shady porn site, you can safely assume he’s got a thing for lingerie. Which - funnily enough, you’re wearing right now. Not the kind of lingerie Joel’s been beating off to, but similar. You’re wearing your laciest undergarments, a lavender colored bra with a matching thong. They’re your laundry day underwear, you know the kind - five years old and been sitting at the bottom of your underwear drawer untouched for four of those years, not very comfortable and only to be worn when you’ve just gotten off your period and all of your cotton bikinis and boyshorts are in the wash. That kind.

After toying with Joel’s computer for a while longer while he twists uncomfortably in agonizing humiliation, you decide there’s not much else that can be done. “I think we have to wipe it all, Joel,” you tell him. “Delete everything and start fresh.”

Joel nods quietly. “Will I still be able to play pinball after?”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure you can play pinball,” you chuckle.

“Wipe it, then.”

And so you start the process, which will take a long while. The screen loads and loads as you and Joel wait quietly. You look at Joel, who’s got an elbow on the table as he rests his forehead in his palm. “What?” he snaps, noticing you staring at him. You can’t fight the giggles from erupting. “Would you quit fuckin’ gigglin’ like that? You know that a man’s got needs and I ain’t hurtin’ anyone–” You contort your lips into a forced frown, pressing them into a thin line and then covering your mouth to keep your laughter at bay, but you’re struggling. Joel can see the amusement still sparkling in your eyes and says your name in a warning tone.

“I’m sorry,” you smile, raising your hands in surrender. “I won’t laugh. I’m sorry, Joel.”

“Better be,” he grumbles. He drinks the last of his water quietly as you think about something, something that’s been heavy on your mind for the last couple of minutes. What if Joel knew what you were wearing beneath your clothes? You’ve made this afternoon absolute hell for him and you know that - but you don’t care. You’ve had too much fun getting under his skin to stop now.

The real dirty work begins when you unzip your sweatshirt and hang it over the back of your chair. When Joel looks at you, you bring your hand to your shoulder and gently pull up on your bra strap, letting it snap your shoulder.

Joel shifts in his seat and clears his throat, “You warm or somethin’?”

“Yeah, it’s a little hot in here.”

“Mm,” Joel spins his now empty glass between his thumb and pointer finger. When he looks back at you, he flips the glass. You’ve pulled the top of your tank top down, your lacy bra and cleavage on full display. He tries to make two moves at once, catch the rolling glass and cover his crotch because he’s just gone erect. “Cute. I would appreciate it if you’d knock that off now, I get the picture. S’real funny,” he mutters as he scrambles.

“What picture?” you ask innocently.

“Oh, don’t you start. You know exactly what damn picture,” Joel snaps. “You figured it out. Got a certain fondness for ladies in lace. You feel clever or somethin’?”

You really can’t bite back your smile this time, “Mhm.”

“You shouldn’t. You’re exploitin’ my vulnerabilities, takin’ cheap shots and–” Joel’s jaw drops as he watches you unbutton your jean shorts and show off your panties, the little bow at the center of them nicely on display. His look of shock quickly turns into a glare as you take off your tank top. “Like that, that’s playin’ dirty. Put your shirt back on and zip yourself back up. What the hell’s gotten into you?”

“I dunno,” you shrug. You really don’t. This is just as surprising to you as it is to Joel, but the look on his face tells you that you’re definitely having way more fun than he is.

“God, you’re killin’ me,” he groans. The way you’re so cavalier about this all has Joel both flummoxed and irate.

But you’re not this bold usually, not really. Joel must not have noticed the way your hands have been trembling, must not have heard your slightly shaky breaths. He’s been avoiding eye contact too much to notice you’ve been doing the same. “Why?”

“Why? Cause I’m only a man and you’re gettin’ me all worked up. You’re takin’ advantage of me and my biology,” Joel gestures angrily to his crotch. He’s not even bothering to hide it anymore - you’ve seen it all and know what you’ve done to him. “You proud?”

“You’re–”

“Yeah, I’m fuckin’ hard - been hard. Didn’t get to take care of myself ‘cause of the fuckin’ virus and here you are teasin’ and temptin’ me and…Hon, what’re you -” Joel’s angered expression turns to momentary confusion when you stand up, then turns to contentment when you straddle his lap. You press your core into his thick bulge, holding onto his shoulders for stability. “What are you doin’?” he sighs, his head falling backward.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “For teasing.”

“Yeah, so you say, princess.”

You grind yourself on his lap and when Joel brings his head forward to search for your eyes, he notices how your eyes flicker away from his. Like maybe you’re not as in control of this situation as you appear to be.

“I am.”

“Mm,” Joel hums. You’re reaching between your bodies and fumbling with the button on his jeans. He sucks in his soft belly to unbutton them for you, wraps his strong hand around your wrist and brings your hand to his mouth. “Gimme this,” he mumbles, spitting into your hand before he shoves it under the waistband of his boxers. A pang of arousal floods your gut at the action.

You palm his warm, heavy cock, feeling him thicken in your hand, though he’s already so hard. You can feel his rigid member throb and ache as you work his shaft up and down, up and down, your knuckles brushing against his thatch of coarse curls and his tummy. It’s evident how much he’s needed this, what with the way his chest rises and falls with his heavy breaths, soft groans escaping his lips as he does so.

Joel enjoys himself as you work him. “Fuck,” he whispers. You look down between your bodies to admire his member, the blushed, leaking tip and the thick and prominent veins. And he’s so smooth, his skin almost silky. You watch his blissed out face, contemplate kissing those pink, pouting lips of his. You’re gonna do it, bringing your face close to his. Brushing your lips ever so softly over his, Joel moves to kiss you fully when you pull back. His computer makes that signature Windows startup sound,

“I have to take care of that,” you murmur. You dismount Joel and he picks up where you leave off, stroking his own cock just like you were. He watches your nearly naked body with hooded eyes that flutter shut as you work, typing quietly on his keyboard. You set his username and password the same, make sure that things open as they should. For Joel’s own protection, you block [email protected].

“Finished?” Joel asks as you stand up from your seat in front of his computer.

“Mhm,” you reply, gripping his shoulder with your hand as you bend over halfway to pick up your discarded top and kiss his cheek. “Have fun with your Victoria’s Secret girls, Joel.”

Your work here is done. You’ve fixed Joel’s computer and by the look on his face, broken his heart. “What are you doing?”

You smile, too proud of yourself as you begin to walk away. Before you can walk further, Joel stands up and reaches across the table, grabbing you by the forearm and forcing you onto your back. “You ain’t gettin’ away from me that easy, princess,” he says. “I still got somethin’ that needs fixed.” Joel displays strength but is as gentle as can be, though the cold, hard wood against your spine and your shoulder blades hurt you for a moment. Your eyes widen in shock, but it’s a welcome pain. “Knew you weren’t fuckin’ sorry,” Joel spits. Your head dangles off the edge of the table and Joel uses a hand to open your mouth, forcing two of his thick fingers inside. Instinctually, you curl your tongue around the digits, sucking and licking. You can taste his cock on his fingers from when he was pleasuring himself just moments ago.

Joel pumps himself in his hand for a second before guiding his thick head to your lips, pushing past them in one quick thrust, right to the back of your throat so you gag. He likes that noise. “I give you an inch,” he grunts, “And you take a mile.” You slide your tongue over those thick veins of his you’d previously traced with your fingertips. Joel draws out of your mouth slowly, allowing you to lick his weeping slit before pushing himself back in. “It would’ve been courteous of you to keep my dirty secret to yourself, but you couldn’t even do that. Went an’ humiliated me instead, then you got the nerve to try ‘n leave me high and dry? I don’t think I deserve that.”

Joel wants to fuck your mouth until your lips are raw and swollen, show you just what he thinks of your stunt. But he demonstrates self control, allows you to take him at your own pace and yet, you continue to tease. It’s like it’s innate or something, the way you continue to only give little by little, savoring the saltiness of his precome. He gives you one last warning, “You really should learn when to quit while you’re ahead, hon.”

You persist anyway. Wrong move. Joel fucks himself into your mouth with no regard for your comfort, taking what he needs from you. It’s sloppy and messy, his heavy balls bouncing off the tip of your nose. You wish you could see him, see the way he’d glare at you. He’s flipped like a switch, previously holding himself back from having his way with you like he wanted to. He’s taking it now. All the softness in him is gone, and you fucking love it. You reach forward, sliding your hand down your stomach, dipping it beneath your panties. You spread your legs wide and your fingers hover over your pussy, feeling that wet heat radiating from your core. Just as you let your fingers drop to touch your aching clit, you feel Joel lunge forward and pull your hand away. “Nuh-uh, not where I eat. Where are your manners, princess?”

He fucks your mouth relentlessly, holding the sides of your head in his big hands. He watches the way your lace-covered tits bounce with his every thrust. He pushes himself deeper and deeper, ignoring your sputtering and choking on his cock. Your eyes prick with tears as your jaw begins to ache, really fucking ache. Joel doesn’t stop himself, and it’s not like he would if he knew you were crying like this. He fills the air with his own grunting and groaning, relishing in the warmth of your wet, soft mouth.

And then he’s done. No slowing to a standstill, just abruptly pulls out. You hear his heavy footsteps as he rounds the kitchen table, hooks his fingertips beneath the waistband of your shorts and pulls them down, pulls your hips close to his so your face is no longer dangling off the edge. He pulls your panties to the side, drags his thumb up and down your slick folds and it’s like the quiet before the storm.

He notches himself in your entrance and pushes himself in, inch by inch by inch. Slowly, deliberately, so that you feel all of the stretching and aching he wants you to. “Joel,” you cry. “Fuck, Joel, please, I can’t–”

“You’ll get used to it,” he purrs. He leans over you as he fucks you slowly, holding your neck with his thumb on your jawbone while he kisses you to quiet you down, licking into your mouth and swirling his tongue around with yours. You whimper softly into his mouth with his every thrust, the pain not yet completely dissipated, but pleasurable in its own way. “Spread your legs. Wider.”

You open yourself up for him, allowing him to fuck himself deeper into you. You accept it all as he wraps your legs around his waist, your heels bouncing on his ass. The head of his cock kisses that sweet spot inside of you, pleasure beginning to take over your senses and you moan. “Fuck, Joel.”

“Feels good, don’t it? Maybe this whole virus fiasco was a blessing in disguise, darlin’,” Joel says, “Feels good f’me too.”

You cry out loudly when he puts your legs up on his shoulders, the new angle has him inside you even deeper than before. He sits you up a bit, putting your arms behind your back and pressing your palms down flat on the table with his own.

He draws out of you and fills you up again, over and over and over. “Fuck, look at us,” he kisses your ankle a couple of times, “Look,” Joel looks down where your bodies meet and you join him, watching how his cock slides in and out of you, all wet and coated in your slick. Panties still pulled to the side, your skin is irritated where the fabric tugs and scratches at your skin. He maintains a quick rhythm, rolling his hips into yours.

“Make me come, Joel, I want to come.”

“Oh, I’ve got no doubt you do. But maybe I’ll leave you high and dry like you were gonna do to me, see how you like it. What a waste that’d be, huh?” You whine at the threat and Joel smiles deviously, he likes having you at his mercy like this. All pathetic and begging for him to let you come undone. “You’re nothin’ but talk, aren’t you?”

“Make me come, please.”

“You’ll have to convince me,” he says. “You heard me, convince me. Better make it quick.”

Your brain is short-circuiting, you can’t even process what Joel said and begin to make your case. You feel him twitching, his hips stuttering and before you know it, he’s spilling into you. He paints your insides with his hot spend, milking himself entirely in your cunt and your disappointment is incalculable. Tears of frustration well up and threaten to spill down your cheeks. It was all fun and games before, but you suddenly feel so used and betrayed. You can’t say he didn’t warn you.

“Ohh, I know,” he coos, wiping your eyes. “Bit off more than you could chew, didn’t you?”

You nod, sniffling quietly.

“You can still convince me. I’m all ears, ya know.”

“How?”

“Well,” Joel says. He’s beginning to soften inside of you, and so he pulls out with a soft ‘fuck’, his spend spilling out of you and onto his table. “Can start with an ‘I’m sorry, Joel’. And I want a real one this time.”

“I’m sorry, Joel.”

“S’a good start. Wanna give me some more? Tell me why?”

“F-for teasing you and stuff.”

“For teasing me and stuff,” he repeats your words slowly. Joel pulls off his t-shirt and folds it tightly, places it at the end of the table and lowers your head onto it. “You’re lucky you’re pretty.”

Joel kneels before you and wraps his arms around your thighs. He presses a kiss over your cloth-covered core, feeling the dampness of your arousal and his spend on his lips. He spreads your legs wide, exposing your wet cunt for him, lips all swollen and ribbons of his spend clinging to your folds. He admires the thick curls framing your pussy, “I gotcha,” he whispers. “C’mere.”

You gasp when Joel finally, finally begins to explore you, his tongue parting open your folds. He pulls back and pushes one, then two fingers inside you, humming in satisfaction at the way you suck him in, so eager and needy for his touch. He curls his fingers inside of you slowly, watching how you react to his touch. You twitch and jerk as you try to keep yourself still.

“Oh, Joel,” you moan as he laps at your cunt, feeling that warm, sticky feeling flow through your hips. His mouth and fingers work together to bring you closer to your edge, humming as he rhythmically strokes that sweet spot inside of you. His tongue is so hot, wet, and firm as he drags it up and down your sex, circling your clit with the muscle. “Mmm, fuck. Oh, god.”

Joel doesn’t know what’s more satisfying, the sweet taste of this most private place between your thighs or the sounds of your pleasure as he eats you. He devours you voraciously, sucking one fold and nipping at the other as he curls his fingers, never faltering in their movements. With his free hand that’s not teasing your pussy, he reaches around and pulls the hood of your clit back to suck and lick the sensitive bud. His dark, slightly graying and wiry stubble drags across the skin of your inner thighs, scratching you gently. It’s building up quickly, that familiar feeling deep in your spine.

“I’m–” a moan rips through your chest and interrupts you, “Fuck, I’m–”

“I know, hon,” he whispers, escalating his efforts. He sucks, licks, and curls his fingers harder, feeling the slow build of you beginning to come apart for him. You come on his lips and spill into his hand as Joel works you through your orgasm. You’re a gushing, moaning mess, your hands fly to his scalp and you tug on his soft curls when he licks a stripe up the seam of your cunt. And then another, slower. Another yet, even slower.

You expect him to pull away from your center with a satisfied grin, his mustache and beard dampened by your slick. But he stays put, licking more long stripes up and down your pussy. Your thighs twitch and flutter uncontrollably and Joel holds you apart for him as he continues to tease, circling the tip of his perfect, aquiline nose around your clit.

“Too much, it’s too much,” you cry.

“Mhm. But you got one more in you, I know you do.”

“Joel–”

You think you might break. You’re not sure where you feel Joel’s tongue, you just feel him fucking everywhere. You don’t know where your orgasm begins and ends, just that by the time Joel decides you’re done, you’re in sweet agony and he luxuriates in the taste of your second release. He’s made such a pretty mess of you. He presses one last kiss to your core, “Yeah, that was a good one, wasn’t it?”

Joel pulls away from your center, wiping his lips on your thighs. His cheeks are flushed and his dark eyes sparkle. He lets you catch your breath as he fills a glass of water for you and brings it to your lips helping you to drink as your hands are still trembling from it all.

When the moment passes, you gather your clothes. You pull on your tank top and put your shorts back on. “Oh,” you say.

“Hm?”

“I blocked Tommy’s email, just so you know. He’s trouble.”

Joel chuckles. “You, my darlin’, are trouble. But that’s probably for the best, thank you for fixin’ my computer again.”

“It’s no problem,” you reply.

“Oh–” Joel grabs something from his stack of mail on his countertop and hands it to you. It’s some Victoria’s Secret coupons.“This was addressed to you. Ended up in my mail. Fuckin’ mail guy.”

You giggle quietly, what a curmudgeon he is. “Actually, I think you need it more than I do. You can beat off to your angels in analog,” you tease.

Joel rolls his eyes. “You just don’t learn, do you?” he says, taking the coupons back from you. “And actually, think I will hang on to this. Maybe I’ll even buy you somethin’ pretty an’ we can do this again soon.”

If you enjoyed, please reblog, comment, send me an ask, just tell me something nice <3 your words keep me motivated to write.

#strang3lov3 #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #pedro pascal #joel miller x you #joel miller #the last of us #the last of us hbo #joel x reader #joel the last of us #grumpy joel #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut

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maxwell-grant · 1 year

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“What's impressive?! I've been a boy this whole time!”

(Spoilers for Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish)

Big Jack Horner was delightfully wretched and felt a lot like he was a Shrek villain stuck in a Puss in Boots movie and it made for a really interesting contrast, with everyone else in the forest going through swashbuckling adventures of personal growth and companionship, while he’s cheating and steamrolling his way through everything with darkly comedic brutality, quite literally pulling Shrek gags out of a bag as he just kills and burns and stomps his way through the magical wonderland.

It’s like he was designed to be the Final Boss of Shrek, except there’s currently no Shrek movies for him to be in so, into the Puss in Boots sequel he goes, almost like this dark embodiment of the shadow cast over the Puss in Boots franchise that it must surpass (and somehow did). He just does not play by any of the same rules everyone else does and it’s great, it lets everyone look better by default. It lets the Puss vs Death story play out in all it’s poetic glory but still gives the movie a proper bastard for everyone to gang up on. I didn’t think of that at first, but I’ve read some comments and wonderful analysis commenting on Jack Horner as a extended pisstake on Disney, an update of Lord Farquaad for modern times, and it’s an analysis that makes a lot of sense.

In that regard: while this couldn’t possibly have been intentional given their release dates so close to each other, I do think it’s pretty funny that Jack winds up connected to Pinocchio, a character who had having a rather busy 2022 if you can tell. Not only is he followed around by a bootleg Jiminy Cricket, but we see that Jack, who was extremely well-off and spoiled throughout his entire life, bears an incandescent bitterness against all magical creatures (and Pinocchio specifically) for taking attention away from his roadside show, which consisted entirely of him reciting his nursery rhyme over and over (even his family was shown bored by it), and so that’s why he wants to own ALL the magic in the world: so that nobody else gets any.

He, who already owns a massive empire and business and land and literally endless collections of powerful magical artifacts he can use to achieve anything he wants a trillion times over, who doesn’t even know what most of what he has does or is worth, is driven by the fact that Pinocchio upstaged him once,

and so nobody else should get to do anything like that ever again.

(Again, not saying this was remotely intentional, just a funny coincidence)

Also wonderful how his ultimate undoing comes from said bootleg Jiminy Cricket, one of the countless employees he’d abused and crushed over the movie, finally having enough and sending him his incendiary “resignation letter”. 2022 saw the year end with a movie where Jiminy Cricket ends a titanic corporate manchild’s reign of terror and life by setting a magical contract map on fire and freeing everyone from it.

It doesn’t even register as one of the best things about the movie only because the movie has SO many best things going on, that it can just casually work in one of the funniest Shrek subplots of all time like it’s easy. Still shocked at how good this film was and how much life they injected into it, perfect movie to end or start the year with.

#puss in boots #puss in boots 2 #puss in boots the last wish #dreamworks #shrek #big jack horner

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ddarker-dreams · 1 year

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current dumb thought of the day: trying to watch a movie with yan phantom troupe members.

for chrollo, you need to present a dissertation to explain the merits that will be gained from watching said movie. if not, he gets this slightly condescending air where he acts like he's doing you a favor by letting you watch it. he sighs and goes 'i suppose we could watch this, if that's what you really want...' in truth, he's just seen your favorite movies so many times he can repeat them word for word. he wanted to analyze why you enjoy the media you enjoy and may or may not have read some academic papers on your favorite movies. he gives you less of a hard time if it's a romance, he thinks it'll help put you in an affectionate mood. god rest your soul if it's a movie based on a book. he will be comparing and contrasting for the rest of the night. then at breakfast the next day. you'll be hearing about it for awhile. good luck.

feitan doesn't give you a definitive answer. you take his silence for a 'no', so imagine your surprise when you go to turn in for the night, there's this shadow looming over your bed wondering what you're doing. as if you shouldn't be asking him that. he found some bootleg version of the movie you mentioned, dubbed in another language, with subtitles that don't even match the audio. it doesn't matter if the movie is an hour or three hours long, he's staring at you the entire time, which makes it difficult to relax. will offer to show his favorite movies if you don't look engaged enough, an offer you do not want to take him up on.

phinks is actually kinda ecstatic. this is... normal, right? regular couple stuff! you must be coming around. he knew you'd get over the whole 'kidnapped by a murderer' thing eventually. these things take time. he tries to go all out. gets popcorn, soda, your favorite candy, stuff that makes it feel like you're in a movie theater. he burns the first two microwave popcorn bags but the third one is edible. burnt popcorn is an unfortunate smell, though. he tries to do that thing where he fake yawns so he can put an arm around your shoulder, only to burst out into a coughing fit. gets irritated if the characters do anything stupid and talks to the television screen like they can hear him. overall, it's surprisingly not an awful experience.

watching a movie with shalnark is a test in patience. he insists he'll turn it off unless you're cuddling up next to him beneath a blanket. he eats the popcorn from your hand if you're too slow in bringing it to your mouth. oddly enough, he laughs at the strangest times, like when there's a tragic character death. critiques the special effects and points out where the SFX team forgot to add a shadow for .0003 seconds. if there's not enough action, he'll fall asleep on your shoulder, and he's heavy. should you successfully manage to shrug him off, he'll get revenge by pulling his phone out and setting it at max brightness. proceeds to play candy crush on the highest volume until you give 'a sufficiently cute apology.'

#they're all such nightmares #yandere chrollo x reader #yandere feitan x reader #yandere phinks x reader #yandere shalnark x reader #phantom troupe x reader #hxh x reader #concepts

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yawujin · 18 days

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hihihi I actually love your writing so much thank you for giving me a hearty meal

could I request dv3 boys with a reader who absolutely LOVES Sanrio like!!! so much!!!!! thank you for your time !!!!

hii thanks anon!! <3 i had an idea just like this so thank you for your request!!!

request | v3 boys x reader that loves everything sanrio

type | react , light hearted , non killing game , fluff , gender neutral reader

shuichi saihara ♡

often takes nap on your bed that has sanrio plushies everywhere

when he asks you to lend him a pen and later notices that it has a cinnamoroll design all over it

he finds it cute so it's okay lol

he bought you an enamel pin with kuromi on it so you could pin it to your shirts

just a thoughtful little gift

but also because he wanted you to match with the pin he wears from the detective agency he works for hehe

rantaro amami ♡

when he goes on his travels he often finds these little souvenier shops that sell bootleg versions of sanrio merchandise

he buys some of these so you can expand your collection

even though you both know they're fake

it's all for the novelty of it

and bc he likes to see you laugh and smile

"i can tell it's fake because hello kitty has her bow on the wrong ear" he grins while handing a minifigure over to you

K1B0/kiibo ♡

after you showed him what sanrio was, he too, found himself really liking the brand

whenever you invited him over; he sat atop your bed, hugging a plush close to his chest while you two talked

you offered to give him one of your plushies

"really!? i don't want to take something that's yours..."

you insist!

but only because he looks absolutely adorable while holding onto a my melody plush

korekiyo shinguji ♡

finds the difference in your guys' aesthetics fascinating

you two are basically the embodiment of all black s/o x all pink s/o

if there is a holiday rolling around and he can give you a gift you can bet that he'll buy you a shiny piece of jewelry that has a sanrio character on it

"this cutesy look really suits you, my dear." he says while you greet him, wearing a top with pompompurin on it

kaito momota ♡

you two went to a sanrio store once and he found this notebook that had the little twin stars inside of a rocket ship on the front cover

he loved it

you found it funny because he had said:

"this stuff might be a little too childish for me" before walking in

kaito, sweetie, you're really just a big child 😭

gonta gokuhara ♡

likes it when you wear those headbands that look like the top of the character's head (click here for reference if you don't know what i'm talking about)

he likes it bc it reminds him of antennas

also enjoys taking naps on your bed, resting his cute face on the soft blanket you purchased from a sanrio store <3

likes it when you decorate his album full of pictures of bugs with little sanrio character stickers

ryoma hoshi ♡

when you show him all the characters and ask which is his favorite he chooses chococat

DUHH OFC HE WOULD IT'S RYOMA

you also have the all black x all pink dynamic with him

you placed a few sanrio pins onto his jacket and he wore it with pride

everytime he's out and about and sees anything sanrio related he is instantly reminded of you

kokichi ouma ♡

"you really like this stuff, (Y/N)? it's a little too childish don't ya think?"

sanrio has no age limit silly kokichi

luckily for you, however, that was just one of his lies

his favorite thing about you is when you incorporate sanrio character inspired looks into your outfits (ie: all pastel blue and white clothing for cinnamoroll and red bows for hello kitty)

don't take his teasing so personally

he thinks you look super adorable

would definitely write 'kokichi ouma was here' onto your sanrio stationary just to mess with you

#danganronpa headcanons #danganronpa imagines #drv3 killing harmony #shuichi saihara x reader #rantaro amami x reader #kiibo x reader #drv3 k1b0 #korekiyo x reader #korekiyo shinguji #kaito momota x reader #gonta gokuhara x reader #gonta gokuhara #ryoma hoshi x reader #ryoma hoshi #kokichi ouma x reader #kokichi ouma #danganronpa drv3 #danganronpa x reader

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absurdthirst · 1 year

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Sit Right Here {Joel Miller x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: Cockwarming....that's the warning.

Comments: You have to sit somewhere, right? Why not on Joel's cock.

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||

gif by @pedropascalsx

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

It’s different. The blunt tip of his cock not serving as the battering ram against your cervix that it normally is. There’s no brutal thrusts designed to take away all coherent speech and thought. Leaving you only with him in your mind. Leaving you until to do anything more than scream his name and forgets the world - what’s left of it - exists outside of the sagging mattress that comprises his bed.

Instead, that curved cock is a gentle pressure. Blunt and wide, stretching you open but not moving beyond the throbbing twitches that make you gasp and whimper. Urging you to move and explore the way that every vein and ridge of his thick cock would feel scrubbing against your overly sensitive walls. Instead of moving, he holds himself still inside you. Teasing you with what could be.

He grunts; the rough, rolling sound of it vibrating through your entire being as if he had just spoken to you. The pressure of his shoulder pushing yours forward slightly as he reaches for the glass of bootleg whiskey that tastes horrible but gets you drunk as it sits just in front of you. Bootleg whiskey is what happens when the old distilleries have long been abandoned, though it makes you wonder if there are any casks left undisturbed. People would pay good money for a twenty year old barrel of Jack Daniels now.

Eyes closed, you try to control your breathing, just letting yourself sit impaled. It’s hard and he knows it. Acting like he’s not affected at all but every time your walls hug him tighter, you feel the tiny hitch of his breathing. The responding jolt of his cock telling you that he’s not as unaffected as he pretends to be.

The rustling of the map makes you lean forward, opening your eyes as you watch a thick finger trace old state routes. Practically hearing the wheels in his mind turning as he plots out the roads least likely to get him killed between here and Wyoming tower. It’s a long and dangerous road, one that you need to plan for carefully and then plan it again for when the first plan goes to shit.

“Joel.” Your voice is low, almost breathless.

“Quiet.” His voice is just as raspy but it shoots through you. His hips tensing underneath you and you know that he wants to move too. Not that he will. Joel Miller wanted you to sit on his cock and not move and that’s what you’re going to do.

The ragged piece of skin on your bottom lip snags your tongue, causing you to pull your lip in and chew on it with your teeth. Feeling the pulse of his blood through his cock, merging and meshing with the beat of your cunt around him. Joining you together in a way that you couldn’t explain if you tried. You pull the broken piece of skin free and soothe the raw flesh with your tongue. Satisfied for the moment before the feeling of his cock commands you attention again.

The noise of the QZ is outside the windows. Faded to a slight din, there but unconcerning. Like it was a normal day in a normal year where the world hadn’t been taken over by clickers. Joel picks up the bottle again, pouring another generous amount of whiskey in his glass and this time it’s you that snatches it up. Hearing his unhappy huff behind you as you place the glass to your lips and swallow the liquid fire down, his cock nudging your cervix again as he pulses.

It's a lesson in patience and you don’t want to learn it. As good as it feels, you want more. Need it like the FEDRA soldiers need the pills that Joel sells them. Need it like the ration cards you are trying to scrape together to get the car needed to go find Tommy. The glass slams down on the table, a small moan escaping your lips as you bite back the urge to beg him.

His body curls around you again. Broad, thick, deadly. You’ve seen those hands that reach for the bottle bloodied. Broken on the face of someone who had wrong him, or you. Or just because they had broken through the limited patience he had and prodded the darkness within him to come out. Wrapping around you as he pours himself another drink and pretends not to feel that way your hips are ever so slowly rolling.

Another drink, then another. All while you are poised on his cock. While your walls flutter around him with the beat of your heart. Steadily thinking, plotting….remembering. You feel the way his body starts to relax, tension draining slightly, looking over your shoulder at the bone deep fatigue in his eyes. The worry, the sadness that is buried down so deep that no one sees it. Except you.

When he slumps back in the chair, it changes the angle. Making your eyes flutter closed and you try to breathe through it again. Desperately close to the end of your rope and needing friction. Craving the sweet sting of release and the dreamless sleep that normally follows.

He must think that you are going to move, that you are going to pull off his cock, because his arms wrap around you and drag you back against his chest. The unsteady, hot puffs of air against the back of your neck make you shiver, the scent of alcohol on his breath teasing your nose.

“SIt right here, baby.” He orders quietly, the tenderness in the strong embrace enough to make you squeeze your eyes harder, trying not to cry at the unspoken sentiment behind it. Words are never needed, they never would come, but you feel it in his touch, his need for this. His need for you.

Of course you’ll sit where you are. Eventually you will get what you need from him. You always do. For right now, you just relax against his chest and will your body to not move. Giving him the hot, tight confines of your cunt to sheath himself in, to just stay suspended in the moment.

You will sit right here for as long as he wants you, needs you to. Cock warming was what Joel needs right now and you are very willing to do it for him.

#pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller the last of us #the last of us hbo #hbo tlou #hbo the last of us #tlou hbo

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wingsoverlagos · 2 months

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This is a fun collection of quotes from the Let It Be Beatles Interview with Mark Lewisohn conducted on August 20, 2018. This is mostly for @mythserene's enjoyment, but it's also a fun lil supplement to this comment by @talking-perfectly-loud on a post by @anotherkindofmindpod, which includes some revealing, deeply salty quotes by Lewisohn from an episode of Nothing Is Real.

The below soundbites focus on Lewisohn's feelings towards the Harrison estate, particularly Olivia, though Lewisohn also lets us know that he considered suing George at one point. Italics used to indicate tone; bold font is added emphasis by me.

This is from ~1hr8min into the interview, after a discussion of Mal Evans diaries. Here's a partial transcript:

"No, no, Olivia Harrison doesn't want anything to do with me at all. Yeah, so it's very frustrating because I just want to make the history better and better and better and more and more correct, especially more and more correct in terms of balance on all four Beatles, but whatever."

This is a longer clip (6:26) from ~1hr23min in the original interview. They're discussing Lewisohn's falling out with Apple/the Beatles/George in particularly, which came about because he was falsely accused of bootlegging, or something like that. He's told a few variations of this story.

The first 3ish minutes give some flavor and backstory. Some choice quotes (they're at about 2:50, 4:35, and 5:42 in this clip):

“To the day he died, George blocked me, and Olivia blocks me in George’s name, and so it still carries on.”

“I’ve never, ever leaked, and that was why it was so galling to be accused of being a bootlegger. George Harrison accused me of being a bootlegger to my face in front of a whole film crew, the bastard. I mean, really. A horrible, horrible thing to do. I really should have done him for slander, and in fact at one point I was tempted, believe it or not. Because, you know, I’m a professional, I’m on a shoot, I’ve got a whole unit with me, and he’s accusing me of being a bootlegger in front of everybody, which was- he had no evidence for because there wasn’t any, but that didn’t matter. He was accusing me without evidence, and it was wrong, and um, you just have to put up with these things. These people, they can get away with murder. Celebrities, you know?”

Lest we think George was wilding out solely because of the bootlegging, Lewisohn helpfully clarifies that it was also Paul's Fault:

“The irony of that was that I actually had started off really well with George. I knew George from ’87, personally, and we’d had nice times, and it was- one of the things that flipped it was when I began working regularly for Paul.”

This was the part of the podcast that really took me aback, from around the 1hr43min mark. There's some chatter about Let It Be (the film), and then Lewisohn goes off once again about Olivia Harrison. He's quite impassioned, and then seems to make a conscious effort to talk himself down.

“I don’t know Olivia Harrison. I’ve never met her, which makes her- just- [angry] blocking of everything I do so ridiculous, because she doesn’t even know me. But if, as it would appear, she’s taken it upon herself to perpetuate George’s wishes, which is something that you might expect a spouse to do when their partner’s died, if the partner says, ‘Don’t ever allow this’, then she would take it as her duty not to allow it.”

This is followed by some hedging.

There are several other choice tidbits in this two hour Lewisohn marathon, but Olivia Harrison was foremost in his mind. But don't worry, guys, he's not biased!

#george harrison's last words were fuck mark lewisohn. hare krishna #CONFIRMED #olivia harrison get behind me #next substantiative post coming soon #just a bit of fun for now~#mark lewisohn #tune in #lewi-sins

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dazed--xx · 4 months

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❤️‍🩹Only Love(Can Hurt Like This)❤️‍🩹

Summary: I tell myself you don't mean a thing. And what we got, got no hold on me; But when you're not there, I just crumble. I tell myself I don't care that much; But I feel like I die 'til I feel your touch Only love……Only love can hurt like this

Member: Bang Chan x Reader

T/W:1930s Era, ANGST, historical inaccuracies, Prohibition, cursing, mafia, talks of murder, mentions of guns, Molotov cocktail, gun violence, harassment, neglect in a relationship I guess, mentions of illegal activity, life threatening injuries, mentions mafia war. Mentions of Bootlegging, mentions of Shylocking. Sad ending

Word Count: 5.1K

I tell myself you don't mean a thing and what we got, got no hold on me, But when you're not there, I just crumble

The diner boomer as the large groups of men laughed over coffee. You leaned over the bar, your chin resting on your hand as your eyes scanned over the crowd as you waited for your customers dishes. Your coworker Jiung whines as his orders came out. Your eyes land on a familiar group of faces in your section. You sigh as your eyes land on your favorite eye candy, Mr.Bang. He sat at the end of his table his midnight locks slicked back in the most perfect way. He watched the group of men in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest as he listened to the other’s conversations. Your favorite customer, Hyunjin, whined about something you couldn’t hear. “You sound stupid…” A deep rough voice bellowed toward the Adonis like male that sat across from him. “How? Be real here! What more does Park expect from us?! He gets himself pinched and we have to take care of the work on the street” Hyunjin snapped back crossing his arms over his chest frustratedly. “We collect the Vig like we’re bagmen.” He growled pointing to the table as he leans toward the freckled faced boy “We take care of his family. He’s got a wife and kids and a mistress and a mistress for the mistress!” He continues as the freckled boy rolls his eyes. A snap is heard cutting the rest of the ranting man's words off. “Mind your manners, He's still the boss. And the boss is the boss what he says goes” Mr. Bang finally spoke, his voice was firm and unforgiving. “You're so worried about Park. Have you handled the Spring Cleaning I asked you to take care of?” his large palm placed itself behind Hyunjin’s neck, pulling him closer to him. Placing their foreheads together “How's the trash business? I heard there was a certain friend causing some problems” Mr. Bang challenged. His aura alone was suffocating. Your eyes couldn't help but be drawn to him every time he'd walked through the front door. His tone was calm as always but you could tell from the fear sitting on Hyunjin’s usually smiling face; this man should be feared.

A familiar ding rings from behind you. “Table 2 order up!” your managers voice calls from behind the window. “You're a line cook now?” you question, your manager Keeho gives you a snide smile. “Sit and spin” he growls as he flips you off. You blow him a kiss as you grab your customers orders of fried eggs with home fries and bacon. You place the plates on your serving tray. You grab a pot of coffee from the counter as you make your way from around the counter. You will yourself not to stare at the alluring man, who's gaze to you feel burning into you as you walk past his table. You come to a table in the corner two very well dressed yet bulky men sat at the table. A bright smile grows on the more rough looking mans face. You place their food in front of them “If there's anything else, I could get for you please let me know” you smile at them, you could feel their eyes scan over your body. The larger man leans toward you a sly smirk on his lips “As a matter of fact..” he begins “I could use a date with you?” he suggests a flirtatious tone. You groan internally as you give him a faux smile as you fill their mugs with coffee. “I don't make it a habit to fraternize with my customers” you respond firmly. “I wasn't really asking…” He growls under his breath. His hand caresses your thigh, you glare at the man. “Well I'm not interested.” his hand begins to grip your thigh “Sir, I am at work…” you growl once again. “I advise you to unhand my waitress, Kim” The familiar firm voice you admired called from behind you a chilling calmness sitting comfortably in his tone. Your heart sunk in your chest as the man stared at your savior, fear in his eyes. You look over your shoulder as the large man lifts both of his hands in a defensive pose. He stammered at the intimidating male as you turn to stagger away from the table. You notice your two favorite customers, Jisung and Hyunjin standing behind Mr. Bang.

Death glares sitting on the groups faces, your mouth hung open in shock for a moment before you give them an appreciative smile and shove past them. You quickly make your way into office that sat between the kitchen and the bathrooms. You take a deep breath feeling embarrassed at the situation. You couldn't believe yourself, you were more shaken up from how close Mr. Bang had stood to you than the men being aggressive with their proposition. Your heart raced as you remembered the way his eyes trailed over your body, it was different for the large men they had stared at you like they wanted to eat you. For some reason, his gaze felt protective, safe, and possessive though you only said the occasional flirty comments here or there.

How could a man of his stature be so intimidatingly sexy?

The sound of the door opening makes you jump. Your eyes land on the culprit, bringing you face-to-face with the reason for your anxiety. “Y-you’re not supposed to come back here, Mr. Bang.” you stammer, he sighs as he places his hands in his pockets; he raises his eyebrow, he looks around the room for a second before staring at you once again. “It's my office…” He states matter of fact, you stare at him bewildered. “You didn't think I came here every day just for the food, right?” He questions jokingly. You shake your head in response. “Never thought about it much, I was hired to serve food not be in any ones business”

“Keeho seems to run a tight ship. Good quality you seem to have…”

“Years of experience…besides I like my job. Pays well.”

“You hear a lot too…”

“Not really..” You shrug.

“Oh?” He raises his eyebrow.

“Like I said, my job is to serve food and mind my business. And What my customers talk about isn't my business” he nods a smirk forms on his lips “You Okay?” you scoff at his question “Those two? They're more bark then bite…” he raises his eyebrow in amusement as he steps toward you allowing the door to close behind him, he caresses your cheek. “You're the first to say that, they're quite feisty when they want to be. You seem to like being in dangerous situations….” this hand glides to your chin his thumb brushes over your bottom lip. Your heart races “Don’t put yourself in danger anymore..” He sighs. There’s something softer in his tone. “With the crowd that hangs out here it would be impossible.” You challenge “besides I don’t make it much of a habit”

“Last week you chased a guy who ran out on his bill…”

“I’m not losing money for an idiot”

“I pay well. A 10 dollar meal won’t break the bank, doll”

“To you…it won’t break the bank to you. Some of us don’t have diners to generate income and have a vig to pay.”

“This isn’t my only business, I have a couple more I can put you somewhere more suitable for a lady.” He suggests raising his eyebrow not pulling away from you. “I’d feel better knowing you’re safe”

“No. Thank you, Mr. Bang. But I love my job here. I love Keeho and the guys. Besides I fought my father to work here, I don't want him to think I'm getting into trouble” you confess.

“Chan…”

“Hmm?”

“My name.” he smiles “Call me Chan, doll. I don't like how Mr. Bang sounds coming from you.” a blush creeps on your cheeks. “I'm not sure if that's appropriate, Mr. Bang” you stifle a shy giggle.

“Why not?”

You freeze for a moment before answering “Well, you own this business. I work at this business. Does keeho call you Chan?” he chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest. “He could…he wouldn't be around long but he could.” he stares at you in amusement. “Besides, all this time you stared at me, don't tell me you only wish to maintain an employer-employee relationship?”

Your eyes widen at his question. You felt nervous, all this time you didn't think he'd noticed you. For him to confront you about your crush…it caught you off guard to say the least. Your heart pounded so loudly in your chest that you swear you could hear it in your ears, almost like a tune on the radio. Your cheeks burn a bright scarlet. “C-Chan…I-I—See I knew you could do it.” he cuts you off bemused. He leaned in close to you, caressing your cheek he connected your eyes “Don't worry about an answer now, as you said earlier you're at work. I'll let you get back to it.” he smirks before pulling away and heading toward the door “See you tomorrow, doll” he pulls a cigarette pack from his pocket, taking one out he lights it. He looks back at you giving you a wink and a wave he disappears behind the door.

Your legs turn to jelly as he exits, and you collapse on the ground. You hold your hand over your heart as if it could steady it. Your cheeks are a bright neon scarlet, a wave of giddiness crashes over you. Chan… you blushed to yourself. Even his name was mesmerizing.

It had been weeks since the office incident and you still hesitated on pursuing something with Chan. He still came in every morning with the same group of 7. You'd bring them coffee and he would find some way to brush his hand over yours. He'd become quite…. persistent all of a sudden. He'd give you a wink and smile the moment he saw you approaching his table. When Jisung or Hyunjin asked about your brother, Chan would hang onto your every word. One thing did change though, now he always paid the bill with you at the counter. He'd find some reason to touch you in some way whether it's by brushing a stray hair away or placing his hand on yours while you talk. You also noticed the larger tips the other boys began to leave. Yet you hesitate.

Over the past few weeks, you began to properly do your homework on one Bang Chan. You had figured that once he told you he owned the diner he was associated with the mafia in some way, Keeho was a connected guy after all. You had assumed Chan was also involved in some way but you never expected to find out he was a Capo. Let alone a high-ranking one placed directly under your father.

A bootlegger by trade, after the government declared war on alcohol. Your father the underboss of the Park crime family, had taught you many tricks of the trade. And for 10 years he ran the largest underground alcohol distribution network. From the moment the idea of prohibition was proposed your father began learning and perfecting the craft of making beer and alcohol. Many of the crime families had to go through your father for their libations, and it had built your families wealth exponentially. But all things must come to an end, and when it did it came with a shakedown.

The feds were swift and ruthless they came early in the morning to whisk your father away for his current 10-year bid. While you and your mother could live comfortably with the money your father left for you. You felt wrong using the money he'd risked everything for. So, you worked, you worked to maintain his vig. You handled his books while your uncle acted as his capo for the crew. During you're research you had learned Bang Chan was notorious, him and his crew making their bones at very young ages. Before you never really paid attention to the chatter about the man you admired from a far; but you couldn't help yourself now.

You now knew how almost every woman who lived in a 2-block radius admired him, and all the men respected him. You learned whatever you couldn't from idle chatter from your uncle and father. Chan had taken the oath after he'd helped win the war against the Choi family. Rumors said he'd been the one to take out the former boss. Your father pointed out how he had a knack for businesses, once starting out as a Shylocker Chan quickly developed multiple businesses from construction, to apartment buildings, clubs and obviously the diner you currently work at.

Of course, there was idle chatter about his vicious and unforgiving temper as well. How every man including him may seem sweet, attractive, and harmless but under that facade laid ruthless cold-blooded killers. You shutter when you remember the cold unbothered tone Chan had used toward those men that day in the diner. You don't even want to think about what could have happened, remembering your father's temper. You had continued to lock your feelings away from the mafioso, knowing nothing but pain could come from entering a relationship with him.

Until one day, he didn't show up with everyone like he always did. You had been floored, to say the least when you noticed his seat empty. You were able to put on a facade laughing with them as you poured them coffee. Growing up around mafiosos, you never felt uncomfortable they were respectful, honest when they could be, and headstrong. But they were men at the end of the day, they were human. Having a high-ranking mafia father you had no choice but to find yourself comfortable around them. Despite the rumors this group always was polite and made you laugh, you laughed along with Jisung's jokes as you took their orders. Your eyes drifted to his empty seat. You found yourself growing more and more upset as time ticked by. The group of boys finishing their meals with idle chatter you'd typically ignore but today you hung onto their every word waiting for some mention of Chan or his whereabouts.

Was he okay? Did something happen?

You found yourself ridiculous but your heart shattered as the boys called out a goodbye on their way out. You give them a faux smile as you wave them off. You make your way over to the table. He didn't show up… you slowly cleaned the table stacking dishes on your tray. You notice a paper sticking out of the bill folder. Curious, you pull the paper from the checkbook and read it's contents.

Doll,

Had a meeting. If it's not too much trouble, I'd still like to see you. I need to see you every day, you see. Meet me at Spark’s steakhouse. 8pm

-yours Bang Chan

I tell myself I don't care that much. But I feel like I die 'til I feel your touch. Only love….Only love can hurt like this….

It had been two years since that day. You and Chan had been together through the end of prohibition. You spent your first night legally able to drink with a bottle of wine on the beach. Feeling the sand between your toes as you sipped from the wine glass, your hand encased in Chan’s. Whilst you felt your relationship with Chan was almost perfect, as he was such a gentleman despite his reputation. Unfortunately, you felt he was too much of a gentleman sometimes. He refused to touch you, even after two years together you both hadn't gotten past steamy kisses and heavy petting. You hoped the alcohol would loosen him up a bit, but as someone who never had to stop drinking recreationally, he could maintain his inhibitions. You, on the other hand, didn't drink during prohibition so you felt quite inebriated.

Chan quickly found out you see an honest and affectionate drunk, as you lazily laid your head on his shoulder. Your arms wrapped around his bicep as you stared up at him with a pout. He pecks your lips softly, raising his eyebrow at your expression the corner of his mouth lifts in amusement. “May I ask what's troubling you doll?” he questions as he brings the wine glass to his plush lips, taking a sip of wine. You stare up at him a longing in your eyes “Why won't you fuck me?” you slur. He choked on the drink, not expecting your sudden boldness. His eyes wide as he pulls away from you slightly “W-What?”

“Why won't you—Don’t ask me again, I heard you the first time…” He cuts you off in a panic. He looks around at your surroundings. “Well…Why?” you question “I really want to…but you always stop.” you pout as you pull your head away from him releasing his arm. “I don't—I wouldn't just fuck you. I love you, you'd be more to me than just some fuck. If I wasn't who I am I'd have proposed to you and make love to you every chance I got. I'd want to do things the right way…”

“But…?”

“But I am who I am. My job isn't safe right now, a lot of people are in a situation and things are starting to look like a war is brewing”

“I don't care about any of that, Chan I just want you”

“I do—sigh—your safety is my priority right now. Usually, your safety would be guaranteed but once I get the call to hit the mattresses…” he trails looking away from you. You hear the way his voice cracks as he speaks. “There wouldn't be someone around to guard me..” you finish for him. He nods his eyes screwed shut for a moment. “Look, if I get the call promise me you won't go to the diner until I get back” he urges caressing your cheek. You stare at him sadness sits in his chocolate eyes. You could tell he was nervous and felt guilty. You nod reluctantly. You feel his forehead press against yours.

“I promise once all of this is taken care of I'll give you everything you desire, doll”

“I love you Chan. I can wait”

Say I wouldn't care if you walked away, But every time you're there, I'm begging you to stay When you come close, I just tremble And every time, every time you go It's like a knife that cuts right through my soul. Only love…..Only love can hurt like this

You were on edge for 2 months. Every time Chan was late, a prick would be sent through your heart. You weren't sure when the war would start but even the civilians could feel it was coming as more and more tension built between Park Jin-young’s faction and Yang Hyun-Sik's faction. The animosity formed when Yang Hyun-Sik made all his union trashmen go on strike until Park Jin-young funded his latest venture. Escalating all the way to the phone call that would send your entire world crumbling down around you.

It had been a normal day, you had been laughing along with Jisung when Keeho called you over to the counter. A serious look on his face when he handed you the phone. You took it hesitantly, your heart shattered in your chest when you heard the corrections officer on the other end of the line explain your father's passing. No matter the officer's terminology you knew. You knew it was a hit, you stood frozen in shock as Keeho stared at you worriedly. His voice was drowned out by the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. You could feel his hand on your shoulder as your eyes traveled around the diner landing on your lover who was laughing with his friends until his eyes met yours. A tear fell down your cheek as Chan stared at you, worry and confusion written all over his face.

The front door bursts open as Yang Jeongin runs straight to Chan. “Boss, they got to Baek Do-Chul last night” He murmurs as he struggles to catch his breath. His words prompted Chan to rush to your side quickly pulling you into his arms. He held you close as you sobbed into his chest. Realization falls over everyone's face, the war had begun with the murder of your father. You sob harshly knowing you have lost your father and lover in one quick swoop. You clung Chan, whispering your pleas for him to stay by your side.

You could tell he wanted to. Oh, how he wished he could stay with you and hold you close forever. You could see the longing to stay and avoid the war on his face. But he took an oath, and without him and his men the Park family could fall. Everything he and your father and all the men around you had worked so hard for could crumble down at any moment. He couldn't do that to his men, the family he had made he would never abandon them. And you knew that, so as much as it hurt you had to let him go. Your heart went through the door with him leaving you an utter sobbing mess on the floor.

But if the sweetest pain, Burning hot through my veins. Love is torture….Makes me more sure,Only love can hurt like this

It had been 6 months since the war started.

6 months since your world fell apart.

6 months since your father had died.

6 months since Chan and the boys had left…

The commission had plenty of sit-downs in regard to the war, with Keeho being sent for almost daily while he was acting as boss for your father after your uncle became another casualty in the war. He had tried to avoid asking you to come back to the diner but he became desperate as he could no longer manage the day-to-day business and run your father's old crew. You had agreed to help hoping to get some sense of normalcy. Though the busiest time you had seen was when Chan and the boys were around. Many people avoided the many businesses controlled by both factions too afraid of the possibility of being in a front-row seat of a mafia war.

The night shift was typically quiet. You had an easy time as the night crew were funny and enjoyed their time around each other. You were cleaning the dining room with the only other closing waiter, Intak. The two of you laughing at the cook, Soul, shouting profanities and arguing with himself from the kitchen when a flash of light caught your eye.

Before you could comprehend what was happening the window beside you shattered. You feel an arm wrap around you as you hear the sound of glass breaking near your feet and you're pulled roughly deeper into the dining room. The part of the dining room where you had been standing goes up in flames. You hear the sound of more breaking glass as Intak yanks you behind him, he grabs the back of your head shoving it down and making you crouch “Keep your head down!” He exclaims as you try to look around. You notice his hand reach behind him, he produces a Colt hammerless pistol from his waistband. You rush toward the back exit as you hear the sound of gunfire. The flames growing more and more vicious engulfing the building in a matter of seconds. You struggled to breathe as smoke filled the room. “Y/N!” you hear Soul's voice call from the kitchen. “Soul!” you cry as a cough builds in your lungs. “Follow my voice!” he exclaims as you hear clattering from the kitchen. “I-I'm trying…” you call, trying to feel your way through the doorway. The room begins spinning as you struggle to breathe you feel a sharp pain radiate across your back through your stomach. You feel your strength growing weaker and weaker as you stagger into the back room. You lean against the wall as you feel a warmth spreading across your torso. Your legs giving out just outside the kitchen. You stare up at the wall a trail of blood following you. You stare down at your torso noticing the sticky red liquid that painted your shirt. The world goes black as a familiar voice calls “Y/N!”

Only love can hurt like this; Your kisses burn into my skin.Only love can hurt like this, Only love can hurt like this….Save me…..Save me….Only love, only love.

A faint beeping rings in your ears, and your eyes feel heavy as you try to pull them open. You're blinded by a flash of white light. You release a groan as you hold your head trying to allow yourself to adjust to the light. Your throat feels exceptionally dry as you look around the room finding a table with a cup of water beside your bed you take the cup quickly gulping down its contents. Your torso is sore as you notice the familiar figure hunched over your bed. Your heart races as you rub your eyes expecting the figure to disappear “C-Chan…?” you mutter, your hand coming in contact with his hair. You caress his head tenderly. He stirs, his eyes fluttering open. He jumps from his position when he sees you staring back at him. He pulls you into his arms with a call of your name. You wince as pain shoots through your torso. You hear him sobbing as he holds you in his arms “You're awake!” he cries pressing light kisses all over your face. “Fuck! Thank god, I thought I lost you. I thought we were too late. When I saw you like that, you looked like you were dead. I almost died right there.” He rambled as he held onto you for dear life. “I'm okay, it's nothing..” you try to brush it off.

“You were shot!” He snaps “How could you say that? You almost died! You were in a coma for 2 weeks!” you stare at him stunned “Channie—I almost lost you! Why were you even there? You promised me! You promised you wouldn't work there while I was gone! Why didn't you just listen?!” He cut you off, his concern and anger worn on his face. For once he couldn't contain his emotions. You look away from him “I'm sorry. I just I wanted to feel close to you again” you mutter

“It was dangerous! I told you how dangerous it would be!”

“I'm sorry, but I don't regret it”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No Chan. I understand why you're upset right now but you have to understand why I did it. I needed something to feel normal again”

“So you do something stupid and put yourself in danger?”

“What did you expect me to do?!”

“Listen to me, Goddammit!” He growls roughly “I tried! I really tried but I lost my dad and you on the same day! I needed you! And the family came first! You left me! When I was begging you not to, you left!” you finally snap you stare daggers at Chan. “You act like I had a choice. I-I didn't want to leave, doll.” you look away from him crossing your arms over your chest. Chan reaches trying to uncross your arms and hold your hand “Doll please listen to me…” he pleads “I took care of it. The war is almost over. The guy that killed your dad I took care of it. I didn't have a choice, it was an order. I have to listen to the commission.” He argues finally relenting on trying to hold your hand he paces the room. “Oh trust me I know all about it. How the family and your path will come before anything. How it has to be your priority. How no matter what happens nothing comes before omerta.” you scoff “I'm surprised you're even here, how'd you manage that? Since your orders are so important…”

“Don't be like that, doll. You know you're my first priority…”

“Oh am I?”

“Yes! Come on Y/N, don't doubt my love for you because I have to follow orders”

“The only reason your here Chan is because I almost died, not because you missed me or needed to see me.”

“Of course, I wanted to see you every day I was gone. I'm here because I needed to be sure you were okay. I'm here for you…”

“For how long? 2 days? 4?” you question crossing your arms over your chest. He stares at you with a guilty expression. “Tomorrow. I have to leave tomorrow…” you scoff “of course..”

“I-I spent an entire two weeks here! Park told me no matter what I need to go back tomorrow. The war is almost over we have a plan. Just—Just give me some time…” he pleas

“I don't have any more time.” you state coldly, catching him off guard “I don't have any more time to wait for a man who would leave me after what I just went through because of him. I won't wait around for a man who would leave me the moment I return from the brink of death.”

“Y/N please…” His voice cracks as he reaches out for you “D-dont make this hard for me”

“Just go follow your orders.” your tone is full of venom. You can see the pain on his face. “Doll…I-I’m sor—i don't even care to hear it. Go follow your orders Chan. Win your war, but I won't be here waiting for you when you get back” you cut him off. You hear him whimper in pain at your declaration. His eyes well up with tears as he stares at you in shock he rushes to your side, dropping to his knees he takes your hand. “N-No, doll please! I'll do anything. I'll stay. I won't go! Don't leave me..you’re all I have” Tears stream down his face as he begs. You shake your head pulling your hand away from his. “I can't keep doing this. I won't make you choose between me and your oath. Please just go” you state begrudgingly. Chan’s sobs grow stronger as he holds your face in his hands pressing his forehead against yours. “No, please! I'm sorry. I'm sorry please don't—don’t leave me. I can't live with out you, please…I chose you I'll choose you over my oath” he whimpers. His face is coated with tears as you stare at him your own tears falling. Your heart breaks at the sight of falling apart. Your injuries no longer even painful as your heart shatters all over the floor.

Cause only love can hurt like this…

⏪|⏸️|��

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natdocx · 2 years

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Actually the whole idea of ava as a bartender is fucking hilarious to me like imagine some poor sap trying to tell her his life story as he gets drunk at the bar and she's like ''oh you think your life is hard?? well *I* was literally paralyzed as a child and spent my whole life in some shitty orphanage in a foreign country. and then i DIED. yeah. aha. some douchebag Sister Asshole literally KILLED me. Like straight up. and THEN i get resurrected by some reject angel's bootleg halo and get dragged into this interdimensional dick measuring contest over fuck-knows-what, and I suddenly have to train with a bunch of ass-kicking warrior nuns to banish ancient evil from this realm or -guess what? the whole fucking world as we know it goes to hell. literally. and like I'm responsible for that. like saving the world is literally my job now. can you imagine that?? And- AND that's not the worst part! no. somehow in the middle of this whole super-powered beings shit-show, I end up falling in love with a nun. A nun. yeah. and we've like been living together for the past 2 months and even sharing the same bed. Do you know how agonizing that has been?!! do you?? I have to crawl into bed every night and just lie down next to this perfect, beautiful woman, and I can't do anything about it. not a thing! yesterday- oh, yesterday i even had to watch some gorgeous lady shamelessly flirt with my girl right in front of me! like i wasn't even there! can you believe that?? 'oooh my life is so hard, i lost my job and my girlfriend broke up with me oh nooo!' pft. please. some of us have real problems dude, grow up."

#no because i know my little dumbass would info dump her whole life story on unsuspecting strangers just to vent #ava silva #warrior nun #wn spoilers #avatrice

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scorpiussage · 1 year

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Alfie with a SO who’s pregnant

Is both horrified and ecstatic when he finds out that you’re pregnant.

On the one hand: he gets to start a family with you and that’s all he’s ever wanted. On the other: the fear that he’ll end up like his own waste-of-space father terrifies him.

I think it would take a lot of convincing on your part to calm him down, but once he feels better about the whole thing, he’ll be ready to be a dad.

He’s going to want to do absolutely everything to prepare. He’s going to take classes, read books, baby-proof everything. Seriously, he’s going to be almost extreme in his desire to be prepared.

If you suffer from morning sickness or aches and pains, he’s going to pamper the hell out of you. He’ll have warm baths already drawn, ginger tea brewed and ready, his lap open and waiting to set your feet so he can rub them. You’re having his bloody baby, after all, you deserve the world.

His protectiveness will ramp up as well. From this moment out, you won’t be going anywhere without at least two big burly guards armed to the teeth. Going to the shops? Expect to have to do that with whatever two muscle heads your husband hires. And complaining won't get you anywhere, either, because Alfie will not budge on this issue. You’re so vulnerable and he worries endlessly about your safety.

When your water breaks, Alfie ends up being the calm one who carefully ushers you to the car, the emergency bag already in tow. He’s a total pillar of strength through the entire birthing process and he refuses to be kicked out of the delivery room.

“Tha’s my baby bein’ born, that is! I ain’t fuckin’ leaving my wife here by ‘erself!”

He is definitely one of those husbands who climbs into the bed with you and helps to hold you in whatever birthing position is most comfortable for you.

You can swear and cuss at him all you want, and he takes it so gracefully.

“Yeah, let it out, love, just let it out,” he’ll murmur in your ear, “You’re almost done, you are, just a little more.”

The first cries of the baby have him freezing up and it isn’t until the doctor prompts him that he climbs out of the bed to come cut the cord.

The sex of the baby doesn’t matter to him at all (though if it’s a girl he’s gonna make her a princess and no one is gonna stop him.) He loves your baby from first sight; he actually starts crying; he thinks the baby you both made is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

This man will absolutely hog the baby, you’re not going to get him to hand them over for anything. He will eventually because the baby needs to eat, but as soon as they're done, he’s got them right back in his arms.

Also, no one is going to get to meet this baby for months afterwards because that’s important bonding time for the two of you and the baby. If Ollie or anyone tries to show up at your house, Alfie will shout them away.

When he finally goes back to work after a long paternity leave, he will literally never shut up about his kid.

Oh, Tommy’s here for a meeting? Say, have I told you about how absolutely perfect my child is and shown you all the supporting evidence I keep in my wallet?

Having a baby might actually be the one thing that gets Alfie to quit the bootlegging business. He knows all too well what men like him do to get ahead and most don’t hold back on families or children the way he does.

He also wouldn’t pressure you to have more children than you feel comfortable with. If one baby is all you want to have, then he’ll haul himself to the doctors and get snipped so that the two of you don’t have to worry about it.

Overall, having a baby with Alfie would be a wonderful experience. 💕

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagines #alfie solomons #alfie solomons imagines #alfie solomons x reader #ask request

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sweetvoicecafe · 3 months

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Welcome to the Sweet Voice Cafe, a HLVRAI AU!

The cafe serves ice cream, hot drinks, and a few options of pastries! Their special includes different themed ice creams with sweet voice ingredients that give actual effects. (Calming, kindness, sleepiness, love, etc.) The decorations are loud and bright, driving away most “karens”. Sunkist is the mascot! The science team has a large apartment upstairs where they reside. It’s basically a collection of Outcodes. This is an AU where Black Mesa, aliens, and powers don’t exist. They simply exist in the Half Life video games. The government has taken notice of this establishment, but are so frightened by the unknown powers of these entities, that they don’t take action.

Information about all characters below!

Benrey (Benny)

He/It/They (He preferred) Nonbinary Omnisexual

He messed around and found out, escaping his reality for but a few minutes. The universe didn’t like that and hard reset, replacing them with an identical Benrey. He can visit his old AU, but if he ever tries to interact with someone he gets teleported out of distance. He eventually found the Sweet Voice Cafe. In his free time, he enjoys working there (it supplies sweet voice or works the cash register sometimes), playing video games, or traveling the multiverse, usually the latter.

Outfits include blues, purples, and pinks, plus sort of 80s aesthetics. Comfy clothes like hoodies and sweatshirts. It does have some casual hats, but his helmet is a comfort item.

Powers:

- Sweet Voice

- Multiverse Travel/Portals

- Glitching/Clipping

- Fast Healing/Immortality

- Flying/Floating

- Size Manipulation

Mr. Coomer

He/Him Trans Bisexual

He’s from an AU where he became self-aware way too early on and panicked. The game didn’t like that and expelled him from the universe. He floated in the void for a bit, but luckily not long enough to go crazy, less than a couple of days. He was rescued by Bubby and they ended up traveling together for a while before meeting the others and settling down. He became a co-owner of Sweet Voice Cafe, but enjoys working alongside everyone, usually greeting customers. He’s a very fun and extroverted manager, but takes harassment of his employees very seriously. A look alone can scare off the worst of customers.

Outfits include collared shirts, Hawaiian shirts, and rolled up sleeves. Likes green tones and bootleg brand logos.

Powers:

- Sweet Voice

- Advanced Biotech (extendo arms/legs, rocket launcher arm, artificial colon, etc.)

- Sometimes unable to feel pain and others times feels it to the extreme (not allowed to work with the hot items)

- Glow in the dark eyes/Night vision

- Can eat anything (he’s considered the trash disposal lol)

Bubby

He/Xim Agender Pansexual Demiromantic

Bubby’s world was dismantled very quickly by a virus, only a few minutes into gameplay. Bubby had only met Tommy for a short moment. When the world glitched out of existence, his body went into overdrive to protect him. Xe floated through the void for a long time in a coma. He finally awoke when a faceless NPC let him out. After exploring his powers, Xe traveled the multiverse alone at random for quite a while, a couple years at least. He met Coomer and they settled down in an unknown AU after about a year. He’s a co-owner of SVC, but prefers to work more behind the scenes, ordering people around in the kitchen and making hot drinks (no need to pay for machines yippee!). Although he’s strong enough to pick the AUs he goes to now, he only uses it to visit rage rooms lol. He has a couple pet Snarks named Pyro and Ember.

Fashion-wise, he would wear any type of outfit and SLAY. But his preferences include leather jackets, turtlenecks, and flowy skirts. He prefers cyan, black, red, and neon colors, especially if it has flame motifs. Xe doesn’t wear pastels unless it’s blue.

Powers:

- Ultimate Lifeform

- Pyrokinesis

- Controlled Multiversal Travel

- Turning into a car (and speaking to/controlling them)

- Translation of any language

- Telekinesis

- Pretty much any power you can think of. You have no idea what he will do next and he likes it that way.

Tommy Neapolitan

He/Him Cis Asexual Panromantic

Tommy hails from a world where he chose his last name based on ice cream, and loves smoothies instead of soda. He experienced the entire game before he was taken during his birthday party at Ben and Jerrys. (SVC) Gman, grieving from his loss, saw Tommy and embraced him, taking him with him to the next AU. With the lack of Tommy, his original world was overwritten to fix it, effectively replacing him. Gman and Tommy didn’t get along for the longest time, but now they’re on speaking terms, albeit tense. Tommy manages most of the ice cream department because of his expertise in flavors. He also does the bookkeeping.

Tommy wears mostly soft colors, usually yellow, orange, and pink coded. He prefers loose clothing, but ties it back when working with food.

Powers:

- Time powers

- Glow in the dark eyes/Night vision

- Sweet voice (better at reading than speaking it though)

- Semi-photographic memory

Gordon Martinez

He/Him Trans Bisexual

Because he hails from a “it is a game” AU, you can imagine how shocking it was when supernatural stuff happened in his OWN home, not in the VR set. To this day, he’s still unsure what exactly happened. Aliens? The government? Fairies? He doesn’t know and doesn’t care. When they started getting attacked, his first instinct was of course to protect his son. Soon enough, Bubby rescued them and brought them to SVC. He is divorced, but luckily Gordon has full custody and is just grateful his son is safe. He was more than happy to settle down, despite Joshua’s grumblings. He helps with the miscellaneous baking in the kitchen. His bestseller is his croissants! In his free time, he enjoys streaming or binge watching tv.

He’s drawn to warm colors for his outfits, usually oranges and browns. He likes sweaters or shirts with funny dad jokes. He has a couple of hoodies as well.

Powers

- Does being an absolute nerd count?

Joshua Martinez

He/Him

Joshua is 6 years old. He doesn't understand what happened, but whines to Gordon about missing his friends and why they can’t go back. He’s happy he gets a big room to himself now at least! Gordon eventually enrolled him in a nearby school. He enjoys cowboys, dinosaurs, music, and video games. His least favorite class is math. He very much enjoys the free ice cream he gets from the shop. Benrey had to be scolded for giving him too much one time asdgfhjkl.

Tshirts with logos! Doesn’t have a color preference yet, but does enjoy his cowboy hat and assorted bandanas the team keeps getting him.

Powers:

- Puppy dog eyes you cannot resist (but should learn to)

George Mantle (GMan)

He/It Agender Aroace

George lost his Tommy in a freak accident that also wiped out his entire world. He wandered the multiverse aimlessly, unfortunately not finding any AUs with a Tommy either. It met a Slick once, but noticed how differently they sounded and acted, so he didn’t pry. The first Tommy he saw was Neapolitan. He immediately hugged him, and the universe decided “oh hey, angst” and kicked them both out. It took a very long time for the two to get on good terms. It tries its best in forming a connection though. Gman focuses on keeping the establishment running and secretly watches the government to make sure they don’t do something… unwise to his friends. He wants nothing to do with multiversal travel anymore, no siree.

He wears lots of suits. They’re just the most comfortable to him. They do end up varying in color and pattern. One time Tommy got him a long sleeved shirt with a pattern of a fake suit on it and he nearly cried. (Tommy took it to mean the gift was bad, but Gman was just moved his “son” was trying to make a connection.)

Powers:

- Time manipulation

- Clipping/glitching

- Teleportation

- Invisibility

- Glowing eyes/Night vision

- Could breathe in space/underwater but has no interest in doing so.

Forzen

He/She Bigender Abrosexual

Forzen doesn’t quite remember where he came from. She just woke up here one day, I guess. He doesn’t live with the science team and only shows up every once and a while as a customer. He only orders original Rocky Road ice cream. In reality, the government asked her to keep an eye on SVC. Since this is a world where aliens and supernatural occurrences don’t exist, they’re very unsure how to handle the situation. Frozen is laid back and bored over the whole thing. She’s just happy he gets a free living space and unlimited pizza and textbooks at his disposal. The government asked what he wanted to graduate in, and he never ever elaborated.

He mostly wears baggy t-shirts and jeans, sometimes cargo pants. Dull colors or funny phrases.

Powers:

- Teleportation

- Super Speed

- Indestructibility (this greatly frightens the government, especially after he denied wanting to fight for their military)

Darnold

They/He/She Genderfluid Asexual Demiromantic

Darnold is from an unknown AU. Maybe. They either remember and don’t want to talk about it, or don’t care. She very quickly adapts to the new place and the science team welcomed him into their apartment. He very much enjoys his place in the cafe, able to experiment and mix flavors and sweet voice combinations in his lab. Tommy tried to help gather sweet voice, but he’s not good enough at it himself, and Sunkist wouldn’t listen. So Darnold has to stock up on the sporadic times Benrey returns. They enjoy flying kites and playing TF2 in their spare time.

Their favorite outfit is sweater vests and she enjoys darker warm colors, like maroon and purple. She collects various bow ties.

Powers:

- Fast Healing

- Flying

- Not much else, but can invent stuff easily from scrap metal and spare parts

Sunkist

She/He/It

No one knows where Sunkist came from because, well, she can’t speak. As he is the perfect dog, he doesn’t shed, and is allowed to freely roam the cafe, or wherever else she’d like to wander off to. As the mascot, it is well beloved by the community. It can change his form from a flat (and slightly glowing and transparent) png to a human-sized dog at will. Very quickly bonded with Tommy and became a support when he was struggling with the situation. It cares for everyone on the science team, regardless of whether it listens to their demands or not.

Sometimes wears bandanas, collars, or bows with soda motifs. No one gifted it to her, she just appears with them sometimes and they may change when you blink . . .

Powers:

- Sweet Voice

- Immortal and indestructible

- Clipping and flying

- Teleportation

- Glowing (including in 3D form, but it's by random)

#hlvrai #hlvrai au #Sweet Voice Cafe #SVC au #benrey #dr coomer #dr bubby #tommy coolatta #(kinda)#gordon feetman #joshua hlvrai #gman hlvrai #forzen #darnold pepper #hlvrai sunkist #HarmonyTRE

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