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#another essay of me reflecting myself on to a character

just-here-for-the-art-shit · 2 years

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SPOILER WARNING FIRST OFF FOR FILM RED

I have NOT seen the movie yet so these are just my speculations from the music videos and glimpses I've seen, but I really love how deep and complicated Uta's feelings are, especially in Blacklight, the lyrics in one part of it talk about both (not exact lyrics) "I only know how to turn this pain into art," while also saying "Picturesque Suffering, It's not what you would expect as far as bad endings go," as well as other lines. I interpreted this as Uta only knows how to express her pain by romanticising it through song - and she knows that, and hates it at the same time, that the pain of abandonment and empty promises is not a pretty song, it's not art, it's just hell.

And from the song Fleeting Lullaby it's pretty easy to guess that she is going to use her singing abilities to put the world into a trance of peace and happiness.

"I’m sick and tired of being alone, Wanna be connected, Have a bond to hold on to Just gonna lay it all out, how I feel." She's grown up now and she's finally going to put it out there - exactly how she feels. She's angry, confused, alone, etc, but she's kept that to herself, probably due to mixed feelings.

Shanks says, "No matter where I am, you'll always be my daughter," Hits me hard. It's just about the same thing my dad said. Shanks left Uta to give her a better life and to protect her, but despite wishes, it did not. She was in absolute pain and misery from it all - she knows her father loves her, but why is he never there? Why doesn't he visit? Why can't he even send a fricken letter? But he loves her. That is an inner turmoil I know all too well. A dad who cares nothing about his kids is one thing, but one who does, truly loves them, but is never there to show it, that is hella' complicated. You can make ultimatum statements like "A dad who doesn't make time for his kids doesn't love them/isn't a dad." Or, "If your father really loved you, he would visit." But that's just not the case, and it doesn't make that inner questioning go away.

"He still loves me, he just can't visit."

"But why can't he make time to visit?"

"Shouldn't he visit? If he loves me?"

"I still love him - I can't cut him off - but this is also killing me."

(Again, haven't seen movie) I'm guessing there's other people in Uta's life too that have appeared and disappeared again and again. People who love you but leave. You give them your heart and they rip it away each time they go. It aches in my chest, because I too wish for a bond that doesn't leave, but the way my life is, almost everyone comes and goes.

And besides her own turmoil, she's looking out at the world around her and seeing much worse. War, death, a dictatorship of a government, the rich doing as they please and literally killing the poor while the Marines protect them. It's either live under the government or become a pirate, and as seen with the Marines as well, some are good like Luffy, and many are downright evil. There's the rebellion, which also involves becoming a wanted criminal. There are only select islands still out of the government's grasp, but that number is dwindling. If you're a regular everyday civilian, something is going to fuck you over.

In summary - The world sucks. Her life sucks. So screw it, "I have the power to make people happy so we're all going in a Dreamland."

Uta has stolen my heart and I want to hug her real bad. I love that this is a deep character and not something superficial and just made up for a movie - no, this was planned out excellently. It really makes me wonder what inspired Oda to make this character, or perhaps who. I also really like (while it may not be canon) showing that Shanks has flaws like any character, and despite it, makes me love him more overall, because it really gives him more depth and personality behind the mask of a jolly smile. He too has suffered from this, even though it is his fault.

#one piece uta #one piece spoilers #one piece film red #one piece film red spoilers #spoiler warning #one piece shanks #another essay of me reflecting myself on to a character #I really like this character #she needs more love #discussion post

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genericpuff · 4 months

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the last few episodes of persephone moping around have felt like less of a self-reflective moment for her to grow and change and more rachel griping about criticism and surrounding herself with yes men

this isn't gonna be in any way a formal essay like my usual sort, more of a slam post honestly, so fair warning that i'm gonna be a little salty here

EPISODE 263 SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

but seriously, it's been a pity party of greek proportions because this constant "woe is me" shit with persephone that's constantly met with "no queeen you're amazing and perfect" has been going on for DAYS (real time and comic time)

literally every episode since the comic returned has had some segment of either persephone or hades (or both) being upsetti spaghetti over their current situation because oh nooo persephone made the deal with erebus and had to sacrifice something. even though they both knew that was gonna happen and yet she did it anyways. so she just continues to lock herself away in her mansion and spout adorkable quips while her husband, mother, and colleagues deal with the mess she caused.

and of course there's the constant inclusion of apollo spitting straight facts about persephone being a terrible queen and person, but of course because it's apollo saying it, it's not meant to be taken as gospel, essentially clapping back at the words of the critics who call out persephone for being a shitty and toxic protagonist by putting those words into the mouth of a literal rapist.

and yeah episode 263 had a lot of the same shit, to the point that you could literally swap out the names of the characters and the words they were speaking and it applies exactly to rachel and the corner she put herself in u.u it's been a thing for a while now that apollo has just felt like a mouthpiece for LO criticism but as mentioned by users within the subreddit during the discussion of this newest episode, it's never felt more apparent than now.

so yeah enjoy this satirical text edit of a sequence from the newest FP episode, which I honestly can't tell is meant to satirize the critical community or Rachel's reactions to the critical community because the weird reality this comic and its community exist in has just become that wack that it's hard to believe it's not directly from The Onion sometimes LMAO

-and as much as i find myself empathizing with the pressure that rachel is surely under right now - no one should have to be subject to the screeching howls of the peanut gallery - i can't help but be reminded of the memes and tweets she's put out that basically outright say "persephone is supposed to be celebrated for being a shitty person, if you can't handle her at her worst you don't deserve her at her best 💅"-

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A post shared by Rachel Smythe (@usedbandaid)

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-and how often she's ruined her own day looking for critical groups or people with the "wrong opinions" that were minding their own business, or how much she's stifled her own community's attempts to discuss the story openly by having her mods ban anyone with even so much as a question regarding persephone's integrity.

so yeah, as much as i can empathize with her from one creator to another that being under this amount of pressure and scrutiny must be immensely frustrating and exhausting, beyond that one similarity i just can't empathize or relate to this mindset of almost learned helplessness that's taken a firm grip over her writing. this is the story she wants to tell and by all means no one is entitled to make her stop, but if she's gonna keep using her greek myth "retelling" comic that's trying to be "feminist" as a mouthpiece for her own griping over criticisms that are largely on-point and justified - to the point of putting the words of her critics into the mouth of her token villain like she's playing some single player barbie doll "act out that fight that sounded cooler in your head" game - then she's gonna keep getting called out, full stop. i figured she didn't have any nose left to rip off in spite of her face but apparently not.

look, i get it, there are some opinions and behaviors within the critical community that even i'm not on board with. there are people who absolutely take shit too far on both sides of the fandom, and i think both sides need to do more to hold themselves accountable for how they interact with each other, the comic, and rachel herself. i make it a point to keep my shit in my own house, i'm not entitled to rachel's attention and frankly it's the last thing i want because i have a lot of fun here and i don't want that to be potentially ruined or dampened! but if you come into my house and complain about the decorating, then i legitimately don't know what to tell you. i used to love LO and i'm so sad for my past self knowing fully well they're not gonna be able to wholeheartedly enjoy this comic forever due to how manipulative and shitty the storytelling has become. a story that i once connected to as an AFAB who was a victim of assault and abuse and generational trauma.

if persephone being the true main villain in her own story was ever meant to be the point of Lore Olympus, then it's taken way, way too long to get to that point, and rachel herself definitely doesn't seem to be of the mindset that that's what she's become with all of her blasé meme'ing on a plot arc that she's still expecting us to take seriously. persephone was never a very complex character to begin with - being an easy self-insert for the audience and rachel to project themselves onto and relate to - but at least in the beginning she felt like she had so much legitimate potential, she was naive but put her best foot forward and clearly wanted to make a life for herself, made by herself.

now she's just mean. jaded and mean. dependent on the constant validation of others to the point of being manipulative. an absolute shell of a person who can only grow a spine when she's punching down on people weaker than her, completely incapable of standing up to the people who are a legitimate threat to her. it's not empowering, it's not subversive, it's just another pick me story about women pitting themselves against other women and never taking accountability for their own behavior, mistakes, and deliberate actions meant to hurt others, often teetering on the line of straight up narcissism all for the sake of a "boss babe" moment.

anyways, if you want an actual well-written and GOOD scene of an empathetic female protagonist struggling to find their footing in adulthood being called the fuck out for their learned helplessness behavior, go read Tamberlane, it tackles this topic much better through its main character who keeps using her brokenness as an excuse to never do better, it slaps and it's so real.

#the only thing i could possibly enjoy from these episodes is minthe coming forward #and leuce #and tori #other than that they're just a bunch of nothing #no plot #no yeehaw #just boohoo #and not even in the good way where you know the 'boohoo' is gonna lead to some good yeehaw #the shitty and toxic way where the 'boohoo' is a personality trait that everyone else has to bend themselves around #lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical #Instagram

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discord-lurking · 4 months

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Dungeons and Daddies Wiki Drama: A Greek Tragedy Told through the Medium of Forum Posts (Part 1)

Prologue

Greek tragedies are typically formatted in three or more acts interspersed with choral interludes, beginning with a prologue, and ending with an exodus. In these, protagonists often meet their downfall due to their fatal flaw, or hamartia: the ways in which the protagonists are their own undoing. Our own human failings are the things that bring us the most pain.

When considering a three-act Greek tragedy structure for this, my first thought was to use the Oresteia as a framing device, a trilogy of plays written by Aeschylus about Agamemnon's family in the aftermath of the Trojan War. Upon reflection, though, the themes of the Oresteia (revenge vs. justice, perpetuating a cycle of violence, honor and punishment) didn't quite fit the story I was trying to tell.

No, this is a classic tale of hubris: excessive pride and its ultimate downfall.

After all, what position could come with more power than that of wiki moderator for a Dungeons and Dragons podcast series?

Act One: The Beginning of the End

The D&Dads wiki has historically been... unhelpful, at best. (Source: Myself.) Trouble had been brewing for a long time.

Forum posts from spring 2022 began noting issues cropping up around the wiki. First, it was a complaint about anonymous users "disrupting" the wiki (specifically on Jodie-related pages) while also fixing mistakes in articles.

I'm unsure what specific "disruptions" were meant, but the proposal to ban anonymous users didn't garner much traction.

March 21st, 2022:

After little activity for months (only one forum post, related to infoboxes), wiki user TwoRatner had a radical proposition: wiki migration.

December 17th, 2022:

TwoRatner suggested an alternate platform that would have different editing options, then made a potentially-prophetic statement: the wiki might be cursed.

This warning went unheeded.

December 27th, 2022:

Ten days after the migration suggestion, TwoRatner came back to ask if there were any recent changes. This went unanswered for months until new user Penguinwithafancytophat reported adding art to character pages (including Glenn, a main season 1 character since the start of the podcast in 2019, who incredibly might not have had any official art on his wiki page before March of 2023).

Spring of 2023 seemed to bring along a revival of the wiki, with new editors coming in, engaging with the forum, and attempting to make suggestions on how to improve wiki organization.

March 31st, 2023:

May 27th, 2023:

July 17th, 2023:

October 2nd, 2023:

Interestingly, the only administrator seen to be interacting with these enthusiastic new editors? Gaycowboyrats. Let's put a pin in that.

Enter: the drama.

It started out simple enough- a forum posts for administrators to discuss changes that needed to be made.

November 3rd, 2023:

76 replies.

Seventy. Six. Replies. Each deeply interesting in its own way.

However, this is a Tumblr post, not an Hbomberguy video essay, so I'll keep it brief.

The discussion started out as one might expect a wiki admin discussion to start:

Mods discussed blocks, deleting stub pages, spam, etc. Standard wiki business.

The first reply to ping my interest:

Removing cast pages from a wiki about their work seemed like an odd decision, in my non-wiki-editor opinion, but the last line is what really stuck out: "Besides, I hate the idea of someone vandalizing the pages to defame them."

Several questions arose for me:

Was this a known problem? Were people constantly vandalizing cast pages?

Would a vandalized fandom wiki page really defame somebody?

Isn't the point of wiki editing to remove vandalization on articles?

The administrators began to stand out to me as deeply invested in a very specific sense of wiki justice.

Users TwoRatner, Brazil86, and TheOneTrueGod41 agreed with Honic's take.

Another thing to ping my interest: these users seemed to share a similar odd, slightly stilted, writing style. Almost Tommy Wiseau-esque.

Brazil86 expressed optimism about users engaging with wiki pages, something that would begin to set them apart from other administrators.

As I read, themes began to emerge: wiki justice, and incongruous one-liners.

Quoth Honic Washington: "I just found a wave of nonsense fish. My backyard is full of them. Hey, TOTG41, do you like jazz? I like jazz."

Truly, modern poetry.

Administrator Marth8204 suggested giving people more time. More time for what? Unclear. It seems a plan was afoot.

TwoRatner came in with a hot take: "I feel like we need a community more right now, than adding links that people can search for in the search bar."

Brazil86 agreed: Changing the navigation was less important than getting people editing and making friends.

Another theme began to emerge: wiki community as more important than wiki functionality.

Gaycowboyrats had some (incredibly reasonable) objections to this, pointing out that the wiki was a resource for many visitors who might not participate- something that is generally true of wikis as a form of content.

Honic Washington responded to this, the signs of wiki-related stress beginning to show.

Honic posts a long rant about the thankless task of moderating a wiki, which goes largely unacknowledged.

Notable TwoRatner quotes:

"You can't crack open a few omelets without punching a few egg-rolls."

"Now Freddie will get more money. What do you all say? I think I helped quite a bit."

Another theme emerges: discontent in the wiki moderator ranks.

Honic reaches full Joker mode. Again, this goes largely unacknowledged.

Honic: "I am leader. I am a painter! Keep your rules. Keep your status. Keep your friends."

"Keep your status"- words that will reverberate throughout the rest of this tale.

The final theme? Wiki moderator status, and the maintenance of it.

After Honic's bomb drop, conversation about regular wiki moderation continued, with mods considering the addition of a bot to make edits.

Admin Discussion Zone, first started by Honic Washington, ends not with a bang but with a whimper.

Over nearly a year of forum posts, patterns emerged.

Firstly- users attempting to engage in the wiki, wiki administrators not engaging with these new users, then wiki administrators bemoaning the lack of user engagement.

The notable exception was Gaycowboyrats, the only wiki administrator to engage with new users in the forums. Gaycowboyrats, the administrator whose (incredibly reasonable) suggestions ended with Honic Washington's villain-esque monologues and denouement as a moderator.

Secondly- administrators putting forth large-scale, drastic solutions to real or perceived wiki problems. This includes Cheesoid4 wanting to ban anonymous users, TwoRatner suggesting site migration, Honic deleting cast pages to prevent vandalism, and more to come.

Thirdly- wiki administrators seeming to share similar styles of speech and occasional non-sequiturs. Interestingly, this mainly seems to include the wiki administrators who agree with each other.

Funny how that happens.

Chorus

Stay tuned for Part 2, where the forum drama really starts to heat up.

#dungeons and daddies

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zsakuva · 1 month

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How do you come up with so many intricate plots and characters? They seem so… human? I’m very surprised you don’t read much! I guess what I’m asking is, what’s your creative process? Do you take inspiration from aspects of yourself, or is it more of a form of escapism? When you write your plots, do you imagine yourself as the character, the audience, or both?

Another thing that truly amazes me and makes your channel stand out a lot is the way you give the listener a voice. It feels like each listener is so different and unique, and *actually* interacts with the character. It also feels like you’re never spoon feeding us information? All the questions do get answered, but it’s different style imo. Usually, in most ASMR RPs I’ve heard, the speaker will repeat what you said verbatim, (eg. “You think XXX?”, or “You want me to XXX?”), and the frequency at which these types of phrases are used makes it *seem* like a RP. Of course, it’s a challenging medium - the audience needs to know whats going on somehow, but you manage to achieve the same in a much more subtle way. It makes me wonder how long you spend planning out your content haha.

Final question, do you prefer to type or handwrite your plans, scripts, etc? I’ve always preferred planning on paper, even though it’s a bit impractical haha. Also, would you mind showing us your handwriting? I think it says a lot about a person! There’s the stereotype that people usually have a certain handwriting that corresponds to their major/occupation, and if I remember correctly, I think you studied film? I’m just curious hehe. No pressure, of course!

Sorry for sending you an essay, I hope you have a restful and comfy Friday!

Thank you!

Honestly, I don't know how I do it myself considering my memory is absolute shit! Though I don't read much, I learn about characters through other mediums such as television shows and movies. I'll try and break this down for ease of reading!

~My Creative Process~

When making a character or series, it all depends on where my initial inspiration began. For example, with Niall, I wanted to create an M4M series exploring a character who carries trauma of being forcibly outed, betrayed by someone he confided in, and how those events affected him through his adult life. The core of Niall's story was confronting fears that manifested due to the Listener's actions in school, and finding that there was a way to heal, albeit slowly, and a hope to love despite external animosity. Niall exists because I wanted to tell a particular story.

With Zaros, he first came about because of The Noble Trials plot. I knew that he would be different from other characters, so I'm using this series as a means of testing my skill with a new editing style, story format, and new world setting. Although it's more work, I have the most fun with The Noble Trials and making its lore (though I'm always a sucker for that)!

I go into creating characters with the belief that they are all extremely flawed. Whether that be by nature or nurture, there will inevitably be some slew of events in their pasts that shaped the way they act in the current timeline. This also extends to the Listeners so they aren't rigid, boring, and an empty shell. Characters can clash, but they can also change with and for each other. A good example is Isaac's story. He was scarred by his past, and was willing to confine Pickle in the house if it meant not losing someone he cared for again. Pickle was also scarred with abandonment and instability, wondering if they would ever find a home. Isaac gave them a place to belong, and Pickle gave him consolation and courage to face the unknown.

When I write, the character's actions must reflect the backstory in which they were crafted, so I always need to dive into their heads.

~Listener Dialogue~

This requires much more thought to make interactions seem authentic, but there's a fine line between repeating words verbatim and not alluding to any sort of context. I dislike repeating the Listener's words so I try to indirectly insinuate what they were saying whenever possible. If I can do so with SFX alone, that's a bonus! But when scenes contain heavy dialogue, it can be difficult to get the message across without being heavy-handed with repetition, unless that's the purpose of a specific moment.

~Handwriting vs Typing~

I always handwrite my outlines! On some occasions, I can start and finish a script without the help of one, but my workflow tends to include writing an outline of some kind, and it has to be done on paper! I feel like the ideas manifest quicker that way.

However, I always type my scripts. It's much easier to edit, share with other voice actors, and there's a level of professionalism in formatting that motivates me to write more!

Here is an example of my writing. This screenshot was part of a Twitch stream!

#zsakuva #sakuverse #audio roleplay #boyfriend audios

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pencil-peach · 7 months

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G Witch Onscreen Text: Episode 5

Part SEIS of my attempt to transcribe and discuss all the text that appears on screens and tablets in G Witch, because I got that dog in me! This is episode 5, "Reflection in an Icy Eye"

<< Episode 4, if you so dare.

Till and Suletta Boiled Eggs Indulgence.

Shall we begin?

TEXT: WINNER PILOTING DEPARTMENT KP003 ELAN CERES F/D-19 ZOWORT 7 WINS 0 LOSS 0 TIE

At the end of Elan's 3 v 1 duel, we get a look at the Zoworts ID and the fact that he has 7 wins and no losses.

When Bel is speaking to the Peil witches, we get another look at Aerial's profile. What's new here are the terms on the bottom right, those being

PMET LINK PMET SUBLINK BIOINFO LINK PILOT DATA LINK MS DATA LINK INTEGRATED PMET LINK

I could not tell you what any of these mean, BUT I have recorded them for convenience.

The text on Nuno's tablet is very difficult to make out, but we can for sure read CONTROL SYSTEM on the header at the top, so we know that's what he's looking at here. I'll give my best guess as to what the 3 sub-headers say, from top to bottom.

I-MSEACTRL-SYS I-MSEECTRL-SYS 5011-ONCODE

If my transcription is right, the first two are probably meant to be read as something like I - MOBILE SUIT [EA/EE] CONTROL SYSTEM

I'm not as confident in the bottom one though, i think i have ONCODE correctly but I'm not sure if the first half is really 5011, which would be Aerial's Permet Code ID. But it's the only interpretation that makes sense to me because I can only read it otherwise as SETH-ONCODE. And I have my doubts about that one.

Some broader looks at Aliya's divination table

Of course, everyone and their mother would tell you this, but Aliyah points to the stone that landed on the Roman Numeral for 12, wondering if it represents 'a brother' of Suletta's. This is foreshadowing the Eri reveal, as Aerial + the Eri clones that pilot each one of its GUND Bits adds up to 12, meaning Suletta has 12 sisters.

Of course, the stone in the middle represents her mother, and Aliyah comments that it's very big.

I can't help but wonder if Miorine is represented somewhere here as well?

This scene is where we finally get to see the title of the book Elan is reading. As I stated before, this book is The World as Will and Representation (Translated in the show proper as The World as Will and Idea) by Arthur Schopenhauer. The importance of this book to understanding Elan's character cannot be overstated, and it's worthy of its own post, but simplified as far down as possible (and also acknowledging that I have yet to read the essay myself, it's long...I'll get to it though, I promise...)

The two most essential ideas of this work in their relation to Elan are that:

All human suffering and conflict is a result of the "Will" that exists within us: An ever striving force that pushes us to pursue our innermost desires.

In order to reduce the inherent pain and suffering that comes with life's cruelty, one can minimize their desires, and deny the force of their will.

In simpler terms, if you never desire anything from your life, even the idea of living itself, you will never be made to suffer from the lack of it.

From the shows beginning, we can see how Elan completely embodies this philosophy. He denies love, he denies his emotions, he never acts of his own accord, only following the orders he's been given by Bel and the Peil witches.

But that changes when he meets Suletta, because Suletta awakens within him one of his deepest desires. To find someone who is like him, someone who understands him.

But when he realizes that Suletta isn't an Enhanced Person, that he's still completely alone, he can't handle it.

Because he allowed himself to want for something, he invited suffering back into his life when it was something he was not allowed to have.

And now that he's opened his heart to desire, it's not something that can be closed. For the rest of our time with him, we see how this incident with Suletta has broken the spell. When he duels Guel, he tortures him. Shaddiq repeatedly acknowledges that there's been something different about him ever since he was with Suletta.

In the multiple scenes when Elan sees the candle of the birthday cake when he closes his eyes, the flame represents how his will has been relit. It's the flame of his desire. And despite his continued insistence that it doesn't exist, that he still doesn't want anything, doesn't need anything, the flame only keeps growing.

It sparks up when Suletta sings the birthday song to him.

And it all comes to a head during their duel. He immediately starts listing off the things Suletta has that he doesn't. Friends, family, a past and future, even hope. And laments that it's just not fair, demands to know why she can't let him have one thing.

When he fully accepts himself, and remembers the person who celebrated his birthday, he realizes that it was wrong to assume that he had nothing, and to continue to believe that he could never have anything.

But, tragically, in fully accepting his desire, he also had no choice but to accept the suffering that comes with it. And, well.

Yknow.

Anyway in this scene we can see the path that he wants Suletta to take in the testing sector.

We can see that Lauda's Dilanza is registered as such in Asticassia, and its ID code is MD-003 1L. Despite being registered as such, both Elan and Rouji refer to it as "Regolith" in this duel.

This is the Pharact's navigation system. At the bottom, the warning says: ALERT: MALFUNCTION JOINT SENSOR: ACTIVE MINOR DAMAGE FROM [???] STATIC ELECTRICITY.

We can see that the Pharact is showing that the static electricity is damaging its joints. This is where Elan gets the idea of how to defeat Guel.

TEXT: (top to bottom) ALERT DMG CTRL-SYS ON

MD-R-0099[?] RIGHT LEG - [???] DAMAGE

MD-O HEAT AXE - RECOVERED

This shows up on the display when Guel is hit by the Pharact's stun beams for the first time. Though my transcription might not be fully accurate, we can at least glean from this that mobile suit components seem to have their own internal codes used by their various systems. That's cool!

When Guel is immobilized by the static electricity, the warning on his screen reads ANAMOLY DETECTION

Bonus: When Guel first makes it through the stun lasers and approaches Elan, you can actually see the monitor start writing out "TARGET LOCKED" before cutting to the next scene.

They really must have had a whole team of people working on these UI elements and they REALLY gave it their all!

Anyway, that's all!! Sorry that this one kinda took a detour down the Elan train for a bit there! I always get carried away with these things...

Uhh as a reward.... hmm...

One time I saw Shaddiq referred to as "Malibu Sephiroth" and I've never been able to forget it. It's so real. God Damnit.

Click here to go to Episode 6! >>

Click here to go to the Masterpost!

#g witch #gundam the witch from mercury #elan ceres

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wen-kexing-apologist · 3 months

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Love in the Big City: Part Two

Once again I find myself without an original essay already floating in my head, so shout out to @bengiyo for the discussion questions. They are a life saver!

I find the question about I maintain effective distance from a narrator when the story gets heavy, but I am not sure that that is something I know how to do. In my day to day life I often feel cut off from emotions. I process my emotions through media, where putting myself in the experiences and feelings of the characters can be used like armor as I turn to face my own. I fail time and time again to maintain effective distance from my characters, because my characters are how I maintain effective distance from myself. I suspect Mr. Young and I have that in common.

I’m glad for these essays because last week’s made me really have to think about Young, what he was like, why he was like that, how his friendship with Jaehee broke down when Young wasn’t able to be serious. Because I feel like Part Two is proof for me that my initial read was correct. But just like in Part One, where Young mentions his own problems almost off-handedly, his suicidality being a single sentence sandwiched somewhere in a paragraph. Here too, Young is rather distanced himself when he recounts his traumas.

He does not linger on the fact he spent his summer in a psychiatrist facility because his mother saw him kiss a boy. He merely bluntly gives the details, but doesn’t really mention how he felt about it. At least not until closer to the end of Part Two. His boyfriend is the same, in some regards. Beyond the dickmatization of our narrator, I think the initial draw for Young was that there was another gay with mommy issues who was willing to talk about them. I think sadness speaks to sadness and that can call people to one another. The failing here is in the difference in their courage.

Young has suppressed his sexuality as much as he could in places where he knew it might get him hurt (the military as an example). But even after suffering what he did in that psych facility, he left it with the knowledge that his mother was the one who was sick, not him. Young’s boyfriend, however, grew up in a different generation. Ben’s right, in BL we usually root for reciprocal couples to get together, and here we are watching a relationship fail. But I am not rooting for these two to be together, because that relationship was not balanced in what it gave and what it took. Young and his boyfriend stood on different ground from the beginning, both in what they wanted out of it and in how they navigate the world.

I am not someone who thinks everyone needs to be out of the closet, I think it is quite rare that we get a closeted and out couple where their need to hide their relationship does not impact their relationship (shout out to Cooking Crush yet again for defeating that trope!) Young does not seem like the kind of person used to be looked at and he’s in a younger generation. He isn’t closeted, and does not at least outwardly appear to fall victim to internalized homophobia, he wants to hold his boyfriend’s hand in public, he does not give a shit what elders think. But he is with someone that is deeply ashamed of his queerness, to the point where he tortures himself with the news. Young is right to be upset after he finds the articles on his boyfriend’s laptop, it would be horrifying to find out that’s what your boyfriend thinks of you.

But I don’t think Young mentioned, and he definitely did not reflect on the fact this has less to do with how he feels about Young and more to do with how he feels about himself. I love that this book got in to the complexities of activism. Now, I know someone did some very incredible work on the Korean history timeline, I just did not have an opportunity to finish it. So I’m not sure about the politics at play for what those students were activists for, but if I know one thing, it is that activists are never perfect. In the US, for example, racism existed within the women’s sufferage moment, homophobia existed in black liberation movements, and transphobia exists in the feminist movement and in queer communities as well.

If Young’s boyfriend and his classmates were activists together, got arrested, fought against whatever it is they fought against and the boyfriend had respect for them, it would be a massive thing to internalize to find out they are homophobic. Hell, when we met that couple at the park, the husband said he believed that queer people existed as if there was a time when he didn’t think homosexuality was real. Young’s boyfriend ranted a lot about the American Empire and the influence of Western culture on Korean society and Young made a point to emphasize religion as a part of that.

Korea has a pretty decent Christian population, and as we saw from Young’s umma that evangelical nature resulted in massive punishment for Young out of his mother’s fear of his sins. And she’d been a Christian for 25 years. I think every character we meet is really supposed to be some sort of reflection for Young, a way to show us alternate futures for Young. Jaehee is what his life could never look like because he was gay in a country that does not have gay marriage rights. But at the very least, Jaehee got serious when Young could not, and she got a serious boyfriend, and entered a serious relationship. Young and Jaehee were so similar for so long, that I do think Young would have been able to maintain a longterm relationship if he could actually emotionally commit to one.

In Part Two, Young’s boyfriend is his mirror. The anti-American imperialist that pays attention to flags versus the kid who does not even pay attention to the symbology he is wearing. The former activist versus the passive kid. The internalized homophobe and the one who rebelled against that. I said it already but Young was tortured for being queer, and the first thing his mother did when the therapy failed was to hand him fucking scripture. Young could have ended up just as disgusted and ashamed as his boyfriend, but he didn’t.

I think the author intercut Young’s relationship with his mother and his boyfriend in this part because they act as catalysts, they change Young, they show him what his weaknesses are, and the pain he will suffer when he bites his tongue…and when he doesn’t. His relationship with his boyfriend implodes when he starts saying more of the thoughts in his head, he waits for his mother to die after he cannot bring himself to ever tell her he wants an apology.

I think so much of this part is about being let down by the people around you, which I think is how Young felt when he realized Jaehee had left him at the end of Part One. We get the homophobic activists as an example, but we also spent a significant amount of time with Young talking about his boyfriend who was the first to make a move, and the first to sit and listen, and how that turned out to be an act, his boyfriend was deeply stuck in his homophobia and stopped really listening to Young early in to their relationship; Young talked quite a bit about how stubborn and strong his mother used to be. The force of her. And he spends this entire part just watching her wither away to skin and bones. He describes how long she kept up the act, that he’d help her use the restroom and then ten minutes later you couldn’t even tell she needed help.

And then he lays his head in his mother’s lap at the end, and he wants an apology. He wants an apology so badly. But he knows he will never get it, not in the way he wants. But honestly, I think his mother does apologize to him, in her own way, when she admits that she was scared. And I think the hardest truth he could ever tell his mother is that he was sorry he felt like the whole world in her hands.

#love in the big city #litbc #litbc book club #love in the big city bookclub #litbc analysis #litbc discussion

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animehouse-moe · 4 months

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Media I Experienced In 2023 That I'm Thankful For

It feels crazy to process that another year's effectively gone by already. A lot of people will always say "this year was worse than the last" in the context of a lot of things, and I'm usually one to disagree with that sentiment. This year though, it's been tough for entertainment in general. But that's not what I'm here to talk about, I wanted to share some of my favorite experiences from this year, and look back on the wonderful and impactful media that I've been able to read or watch!

Witch And The Beast - Kousuke Satake

Yes, this is the third volume's cover, I know. I just really love the color choices and style for it.

Anyways, this was one of those series that I'd always see and never pick up. It took some severe pestering from a friend for me to finally pick it up, and it was totally worth it.

I would say it's definitely far from bad right from the start, but I'd also say that once you reach around volume 3, Satake really catches their stride and provides some beautiful work in the volumes leading up to their hiatus. If you want a world all about magic that prioritizes form over function, it's impossible to not recommend The Witch and The Beast and its wonderful appeal.

A Home Far Away - Teki Yatsuda

Yes, this is a one-shot manga, but the grip that it had on me after I read it was so intense. You know how you can tell when a one-shot wants to go past that single volume but can't? This is like the exact opposite. The pacing, themes, characters, all of it is so well structured for a single volume run that you end up with aimless frustration that it can't continue.

The themes of various types of trauma and the idea of searching for a savior in someone else are just so strong alongside the systemic failure in caring for and helping minors. It's just so so strong and painful in how it represents a slow slip into helplessness as they claw at each other to try and unearth their freedom.

Also, definitely read their serialized manga The Yakuza's Bias! Totally different vibe that is just full of absurdity and humor.

Pandora - Hagiwara Rei

Pandora was a very healing manga to read. Beautiful watercolor artwork is donned by each page in the various short stories appearing in this work. Though each is a different person in a different situation, the themes of survivor's guilt, loss, and the hope to be found at the bottom of despair are very strong to feel. If people are looking for a heavy but positive and emotional read, this is certainly a great choice.

Okinawa - Susumu Higa

I don't think it's a secret to say that anti-imperialist Japan manga is seen as "few and far between" in English. We have a lot of impactful and important works that haven't been translated or are currently out of print, so Okinawa came along at a really great time to help drive the point home alongside other experiences like Godzilla Minus One (which is on this list, of course).

Anyways, stepping away from the general act of the war, or the (typical) experiences of it post-war, Okinawa is an incredible read for displaying the interaction and relationships between the Okinawan people and the two separate armies that occupied their space. It does a wonderful job of not painting anyone as inherently evil, but showing the sinister nature of war and the aftereffects that it leaves on a people. Very very worthwhile read that I can't recommend enough.

Until I Love Myself - Poppy Pesuyama

It's only two volumes, it's a manga essay, and it deals with LGBTQ+ content among other things. This is something that was essentially destined to be criminally underread and underappreciated.

What Pesuyama does in exposing their difficult experiences and personal trauma is beyond valuable to people that find themselves in similar positions. The idea of sexism distilled into every aspect of society through the patriarchy, and how that's reflected on someone that doesn't feel comfortable in their own body is almost impossibly poignant. The frustration, the distance, the fear, it takes an incredibly personal experience and without losing even an ounce of that value is able to translate it into something that almost any reader can grasp. An incredibly powerful piece from an equally brave author, it's also an invaluable resource and experience for many out there.

Skip and Loafer - Misaki Takamatsu

I'm a big P.A. Works fan. I've got a lot of their art books, I watch a lot of their series, I just think they do a lot of good work. I also had my reservations about them doing the Skip and Loafer anime, but it was wonderful.

Simply put, it's a modern classic in the slice of life/high school era genre. The characters feel perfectly childish and immature, the direction of the story and its themes are perfectly on the nose. It just has the perfect balance of everything you could hope for. There's not really much to add past that, really. If you like slice of life or high school stuff, you'll love Skip and Loafer. Incredibly refreshing experience.

Heavenly Delusion

I'm a massive fan of the manga, and I was coping insanely hard when I saw that first trailer. I was praying I was in for greatness and wasn't going to get scammed, and Production I.G brought out arguably their best work in the last decade for it.

Mori Hirotaka and the rest of the staff did an absolutely phenomenal work in transforming Heavenly Delusion into an anime. Massive restructures and thematic changes that feel like sheer art within the context of the series. Ishiguro couldn't have done it better himself, and he made that point known on Twitter. Right up there next to Frieren (and even above it depending on the significance of various criteria) for the greatest anime of 2023, and puts itself in contention for one of the best in the 2020s. Absolutely a must watch.

Undead Girl Murder Farce

Mysteries and series that really encourage you to analyze and break them apart are some of my favorites to experience. Include historical context, a penchant for intense showmanship rooted in Japanese culture, and animation and direction that will knock your socks off, and you've got the Dark Horse of the summer season.

Undead Girl Murder Farce had me absolutely hooked from the very first episode, bringing almost SHAFT-like direction and execution that brings out the absolute most in something so fluid. Lapin Track struck gold with this work. Even though they were struggling a little towards the end, they provided and endlessly satisfying and creative experience that had me on the edge of my seat breaking apart every single little frame for meaning and value. An absolute treat for a mystery fan.

Blue Giant

Like many, I discovered Nut (the studio) through Tanya The Evil. Crazy visual effects and ridiculously competent visuals for such a new studio, I was immediately enthralled with their quality.

Not that Blue Giant as a story isn't incredibly good, but that in this context, Nut brought out every last drop of greatness that could have existed in this movie. I'm really struggling to come up with more to say, but it's just so visually stunning that the experience as a whole just feels like a performance on an incredible level. Simply great, I guess I'm forced to say.

The Boy and The Heron

It's Ghibli, it's Miyazaki, need I say more really?

I don't, but I will. I went and saw it twice in theaters so that I could experience both dub and sub for it. Something that people should be 100% experiencing in theaters, and absolutely should be watching multiple times. Miyazaki doesn't tell just one or two stories with this movie, it's so many experiences in his life rolled into one. A love letter to the man behind one of anime's most beloved studios, but also one that leaves lingering feelings of sorrow for some of what Miyazaki instills in it. So yeah, watch it to your heart's content.

Godzilla Minus One

Last, but certainly not least, Godzilla Minus One. I loved it, I knew I'd love it from the moment I laid eyes on the trailer. The idea of Godzilla being presented in North American theaters, to North American viewers, as a direct and destructive of the atomic bomb and its effects on the Japanese population just set something off in me.

North America's view of Godzilla as some sort of anti-hero over the years has weakened the original sentiment that barely existed here in the first place. Minus One sets the record straight in devastating fashion, and adds to the theme in spades. I'd love to explain but I want as many people as possible to experience this without any spoilers, so I'll leave it at being one of the best Godzilla movies bar none.

And that's the list for this year. I think overall it was a "weaker" year, but I'd be more comfortable with calling it a radicalized year. The bad stuff got worse, but the good stuff got better. The best experience of the year were incredibly good because of that, but it overall felt like slimmer pickings than the prior year.

Not that this list couldn't have added any number of entries like Scott Pilgrim, Frieren, Kamonohashi Ron, Bleach TYBW, Gwitch, and so on and so forth. More so that I wanted to keep this list a little more contained. The idea of importance or appreciation begins to lose its value when everything is important or overly appreciated.

Anyways, that's all the past, this post is in the present, and I've got my eyes set on the future with things like the Hokkyoku Department Store movie, Dandadan from Science Saru, Delicious In Dungeon, and plenty, plenty more in 2024!

So with all that said: happy holidays and I hope people have been enjoying having time off and getting to spend some with their families and friends!

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pumpkinsouppe · 1 year

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I truly believe that the Kafei and Anju wedding side quest is the best side quest in all of the Zelda franchise, or at least it is thematically. It ties in with how I also believe Kafei is one of the most important characters for the Zelda franchise, and possibly THE most important character for why Majora’s Mask is so impactful.

If I don’t stop myself now I might end up writing another essay LMAO but in short, Kafei is Link. Or rather, Kafei is how Link perceives himself in Majora’s Mask. An adult stuck in the body of a child, isolated from everyone he loves. It is truly one of the best reflections of Link’s mental state in any game, the whole game is but this quest is a key part of it. There’s a reason the quest takes up every single moment of the 3 days Link has, even up to the last few seconds before doom. It is a tireless quest to work through this isolation and regain what was stolen away. And the reward? The pure and physical symbol of the love and happiness Anju and Kafei have for each other despite doom awaiting them only minutes later. Kafei could not achieve this on his own. Just like Link can’t go through his burden of grief, depression, anguish, what have you, alone.

Okay fdjskfnjdksba that was not “in short” that was absolutely me about to write an essay lmfao I’m stopping here before I get carried away

#tloz #majora’s mask #kafei #analysis

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antaripirate · 7 months

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Some final thoughts before Threads, from a place a little too close to my heart.

(and a note on Threads posts and spoilers)

So, its 11pm, and an hour untill I’ll have access to The Fragile Threads of Power (I ended up preordering the kindle edition on top of my physical ones, bc they are all delayed in shipping, and, as someone pointed out to me recently, I have the patience of a fruit fly).

I should probably preface this by saying that this will probably read as insanely cringey, but I have so much I want to say, and so much on my mind that I know I will never know how to convey.

But I am just so fucking grateful that V has brought these worlds, these characters, back to us.

They feel like my home.

Something I always try to explain when people ask why Shades means so much to me, is that when I first read ADSOM, it was the first time I had ever seen myself in a character so entirely, and just felt so fucking seen.

I know that not everyone loves Delilah Bard, and that’s okay. But I’ve never felt quite so myself as I do when I have Lila there on the page next to me, as ridiculous as this probably sounds. I don’t really know how to explain this, because there are so many ways I could begin.

And then there’s Kell. Oh, Kell.

It’s so odd, to have never found a character like me, and then all of a sudden, stumbled across one who I wholeheartedly see myself in, and another where I can see pieces of me reflected.

If you couldn’t already tell, I’m not very good at putting these feelings into words, but trying is better than nothing, right? So I’ll continue.

The concept of having these characters back is so reassuring, so exciting, so nerve-wracking. I can’t wait to see what they’ve been up to, how their relationships have strengthened and changed, how new characters will push and pull on the threads of established dynamics and weave new ones.

I am scared of inevitably awful things happening to my favourites. The thought of Kell and Lila not being ok, and safe, and happy, and together fucking terrifies me. They are my entire world, both together and apart. But as terrified as I am, I can’t wait to have them back. To hear them snark at each other, and pull each other out of trouble, and just love each other.

I could writes essays on these two, and on all of the original ADSOM cast, and on predictions and theories and things I’d love to see, but I don’t think right now is the time for that. I’m already rambling and already so nervous with excitement.

I feel like a ball of adrenaline.

I can’t wait to come home.

A note on spoilers on posting:

So I’ve been wondering a lot about what to do regarding posting here about Threads whilst in the spoiler risk period, and I think what I’m gonna do is anything I do post, I’ll have a huge heading broadcasting spoilers for the book and also for which part within the book, because I am fucking terrified of accidentally spoillering someone. If anyone has any thoughts on this please do lmk!!

Anyway, if you read this, thank you - I hope it didn’t sound too ridiculous.

Anoshe.

#i may end up deleting this #it probably reads like nonsense but it’s got a lot of emotions in it from me #anyway #here we go #the fragile threads of power #threads of power #tftop #fragile threads #adsom #a darker shade of magic #a conjuring of light #a gathering of shadows #kell maresh #shades of magic #v e schwab #lila bard #delilah bard #kellila

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weaselandfriends · 9 months

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The Making Of: Cleveland Quixotic

I. Context

After I finished Chicago in 2019, a powerful and persistent fatigue gripped me: the fabled "burnout." The next two years would be the least productive of my literate life. As one day ebbed into the next, I wondered if I would ever be able to write again. I thought of Andrew Hussie, who, after years of feverish activity on Homestuck, seemed now capable of only short spurts of creation, heavily assisted by amanuenses.

It wasn't an issue of knowing what to write. I had been developing the idea for Cockatiel x Chameleon since 2015. I knew its plot, characters, scenes, themes. But when I tried to manifest it into reality I felt drained. What I managed to scrawl was junk, far below my standards. Goaded by a lurking terror of infinite lassitude, I forced myself to blurt 60,000 words of an initial draft; loathing it, I scrapped it entirely.

That was when I got the idea to write a "fun" story.

My vision for Cockatiel x Chameleon was technically complex and emotionally demanding. Maybe something simpler, a straightforward adventure, would be a stepping stone to recovery. I thought back to Fargo, which I had written (unlike most of my works) with relative ease and minimal forethought. How could I emulate that experience? What made Fargo so easy compared to Chicago and Cockatiel x Chameleon?

After reflection, I concluded that Fargo was, at its core, a revenge story. Revenge stories are older than dinosaur dirt. They are fundamental to human experience, easily understood, all structure inherent in their premise. The hero, wronged, seeks revenge on the villain. From that sentence alone you understand the protagonist's motivation and the plot's direction: trending inexorably toward final confrontation. With such a powerful core, it'd been easy to add details and complications to Fargo as they popped into my head, without warping the story's innate trajectory.

If I wanted another "easy" writing experience, I decided, I needed a similar type of story. Something with a clear premise that removes the burden of planning. A "template plot," where beginning/middle/end is fundamentally present and the writer merely adds their own spin. It took little time to think of such a story type. After all, it had been ubiquitous in Japanese media for the past decade. Not only was it popular with readers, it was appealing to amateur authors; many of its biggest examples originated as web fiction.

I decided I would write an isekai.

II. The Isekai Genre

A person from the real world is transported to a fantasy world.

Not quite as old as the revenge story. Nonetheless, this narrative concept has existed for over 100 years. The premise immediately informs the challenges the protagonist will encounter. They will adapt to a world they know little about, introduce knowledge from modern Earth society, and rise in power and prominence. Toss in a Demon King hellbent on world domination and you get a clear narrative climax. The details can be changed nearly any way without issue.

(Or so I thought.)

In retrospect, I myself was being transported to a new world. If we ignore The Chronicles of Narnia or The Pagemaster or Digimon Adventure and focus solely on the contemporary isekai genre (say 2012 on), which is what I intended to emulate, my experience extended to only the following titles:

1. Sword Art Online

2. Log Horizon

3. No Game No Life

4. The Saga of Tanya the Evil (or Youjo Senki)

5. KonoSuba

This is not only a pitiful sample size, but a specifically poor representation of the genre. Sword Art Online and Log Horizon exist in their own subgenre—trapped in a video game—and have many oddities unseen in more traditional isekai. No Game No Life and Tanya the Evil are "real" isekais, but both have unique worlds that eschew most traditional fantasy elements (especially in Tanya's case). And KonoSuba is a parody.

Nonetheless, I felt that, via cultural osmosis, I "understood" the isekai genre. Based on a few video essays I once watched that roasted dreck like Trapped in Another World with a Smartphone, and reverse engineering KonoSuba's parody, I conceived an impression of isekai as wish fulfillment: A loser gets another chance at life, often with some boon to ensure they don't muck it up this time. They become the hero, triumph with their strength and modern intelligence, and meet lots of attractive women.

I smirked. Heh, I thought. What if I made an isekai... that wasn't wish fulfillment! Truly novel. Let us take the premise of KonoSuba—a benevolent god gives a loser a second chance in a fantasy world—and turn it on its head. Instead of a benevolent god, what if the main character was sent by... a devil? The loser protagonist makes a Faustian bargain to become a hero. They get exactly what they wish for, except they're still a loser at heart, and inevitably bungle everything due to their own social incompetence.

That was the flashpoint. Ideas came together quickly, exactly as I hoped. Soon I had a narrative. It went like this:

III. The Original Idea

Our protagonist is a bumbling failure who lives with his mother. One day he sees an advertisement for a devil's wish-granting service. Being a fan of isekai anime, he goes to the devil and wishes to be sent to another world, one where he'll be the most powerful person. The devil, a sleek and professional businesswoman, agrees to the unusual wish, but pushes the work of actually creating the world to an overstressed, chain-smoking intern. The intern cobbles the world together in a matter of hours and our protagonist embarks on his journey.

He arrives to find the human kingdom besieged by the Demon King's army. The humans are outnumbered; total defeat is imminent. Just as he wished, though, the protagonist possesses incredible power. He charges into the fray, destroys the demon army singlehandedly in instants, and slays the Demon King himself soon after. The protagonist enters the human kingdom hailed as a hero.

Soon, the Human King emerges from his castle to express his immense gratitude. He offers the hero anything, including his daughter's hand in marriage. The hero takes one look at the princess―named either Mayfair or Viviendre, I wasn't sure which―sees she is exceedingly beautiful, and eagerly agrees. He's gotten exactly what he always wanted!

Unbeknownst to him, the king is a schemer. Advised by two strange beings—the rotund fairy Tetzel and the living plant Tintoretto—the king believes the hero is too popular; the people would side with him if he sought the throne. The king offers his daughter not in goodwill but to tie the hero to his side. His ultimate goal is to control the hero's power to imperialistically expand his kingdom.

Meanwhile, the princess has her own schemes. She's a lesbian and has zero intention of sleeping with the hero. In a comic scene, she gives the hero excuse after excuse why they can't sleep in the same bed despite being married; the hero naively buys it. Eventually he catches on, but while he's upset by the situation, he's too morally upstanding to do anything but accept it. (This would be a recurring theme: The hero could use his strength to force people to do what he wanted, but constantly shirks from doing so because he refuses to act in a way unbecoming of a hero. His morality and desires exist in a constant state of push and pull.)

Eventually, the hero and his wife compete for the affections of various female characters, with the wife always winning. Temporary the elf was part of this subplot: A dimwitted ambassador to be competitively wooed. To keep the hero sated, his wife buys him a female slave to use "as he likes." The hero, possessed of modern anti-slavery sensibilities, is appalled. He instantly frees the slave girl and enters a crusade to abolish slavery in the kingdom. Unfortunately, because he is not particularly smart, when he debates the slaveowners over the evils of slavery they routinely trounce him (using many arguments real-world slaveowners once used). Again, he could use his incredible power to kill the slaveowners, but they're law-abiding members of society. Murdering them would be "immoral" in the hero's eyes despite his staunch belief in the immorality of their actions.

Around this time, the hero finally uses his power for something good and sends gold back home to his financially poor mother. Unfortunately, this charitable act also goes awry when his sister, an IRS agent, thinks his disappearance is a ploy to evade taxes. She gathers a posse: her coworker boyfriend, his two friends (I called them Aaron Van Zandt and Allen Van Langevelde, envisioning an American Psycho vibe), and a private detective. Using security camera footage they track the protagonist's last known movements to a dingy apartment building, where they find the overworked devil intern who created the world and force him to send them there too.

They roll out in a huge SUV: Five people plus the hapless intern, armed with guns and equipment. The king, not wishing to lose the hero, decides he must intercept them before the hero learns of their existence. In a big setpiece-style scene reminiscent of Children of Men, a horde of knights ambush the SUV on a forest road. Arrows fly through the front windshield, killing the boyfriend (passenger seat) with an arrow to the neck and wounding Aaron Van Zandt (driver). The SUV crashes into a tree and the sister flees on foot, followed by Allen Van Langevelde, who has barely spoken before then but who now reveals themselves to be a badass marksman as they dispatch knight after knight with efficient hunting rifle shots. The private detective is wounded in the leg and forced to remain behind, while the devil intern cowers in the backseat. Aaron Van Zandt limps out of the driver's seat and attempts to follow Van Langevelde, but a knight on horseback rushes past him and knocks him down a steep incline, where he smashes his head on a rock and seemingly dies.

The knights surround the vehicle. The private detective fights back, but is overwhelmed and killed. The devil intern is captured to be burned at the stake later. The sister and Van Langevelde escape on foot, but without the intern, they can't leave the world. They need to rescue him before he is executed. Meanwhile, Van Zandt, clinging to life, is discovered by fairies and brought to their court.

And then...

IV. The Problem

And then I got stuck.

First, it should be clear by now that I did not actually have a plot. I had a series of incidents, loosely organized. Vaguely I knew the main character would work to overcome his social ineptitude and ultimately truly succeed, accomplishing the character growth his get-rich-quick Faustian bargain could never provide. But nothing came together in a coherent structure. Despite my intention to stick to a template plot, I instantly destroyed the template by killing the Demon King in the first chapter. I still had character conflicts and ideas to pursue, but no actual story.

Plus, the main character being a loser made him—well, a loser. Even if he eventually grew, he still ate shit again and again before vanishing entirely from the big action setpiece.

So my original idea of quickly and easily constructing an isekai plot hit a roadblock. Luckily, it was now 2021. After two idle years my fatigue seeped slowly out of me. Finally I regained my energy; I no longer needed to write a "fun" story. I decided to shelve the isekai, potentially permanently, and worked on Cockatiel x Chameleon in earnest.

This time, the draft of Cockatiel x Chameleon―which would be the final draft―progressed acceptably. It consumed my entire focus and I might not have thought about the isekai at all if not for two hiccups. First, though I now had the mental willpower to technically execute my ideas, the emotionally intense material of Cockatiel x Chameleon still left me sometimes wistfully longing for a story not quite so bleak and harrowing. Second, I revisited the isekai genre.

V. The Isekai Genre, Part 2

The anime analysis YouTuber Ygg Studio (formerly known as Digibro) posted a video called Is Mushoku Tensei The Most Influential Isekai? (History of Isekai) that outlined the isekai genre's chronology in Japanese pop media. Watching the video, I discovered some surprising origins to the "contemporary" isekai genre. Though there were many isekai stories―even popular ones―before, the current isekai craze seemingly began in 2012 on a Japanese webfic site called syosetsu.com, where several popular isekai were written in close temporal proximity to one another.

The main titles of note were Re:Zero and Mushoku Tensei—followed by KonoSuba, which was specifically a parody of Mushoku Tensei, instead of (as I once believed) a general cultural conception of isekai. In fact, it was these three works that created the current cultural conception, establishing many now obligatory tropes.

So, I decided to watch Re:Zero and Mushoku Tensei.

I was shocked! As it turned out, my clever and subversive idea―treating the hero as the loser he was instead of as a wish fulfillment badass―had not only already been done, it was foundational to the genre! Both works feature loser protagonists whose social ineptitude constantly causes problems for them despite their cheat mode powers. Both protagonists are forced to develop as people rather than rely on their advantages, and the development of their relationships with the other characters is a crucial consideration of both works.

As it turned out, Trapped in Another World with a Smartphone (which I also haven't seen) wasn't the beginning and end of the genre. I had underestimated isekai. In retrospect, the languid existence of my 2019 and 2020 led to me ironically attempting the same cheap wish fulfillment of my imagined isekai protagonist. I wanted a "fun," "quick," "easy" story and intended to use isekai for that purpose, the same way an isekai protagonist assumes being sent to another world is an easy way to becoming a hero.

It was time to return to the planning stage. This time, I wouldn't take things for granted.

VI. The Original Idea, Part 2

First, I revisited my protagonist. Originally an afterthought: a punching bag who failed whenever he exhibited any agency. I decided on another direction. My hero wouldn't be a loser by incompetence, but by choice. He would be clever and intelligent, but unwilling to apply himself. He wanted a new world because the original didn't seem worth it; too rigid, too structured, too immune to change. His journey would be discovering it wasn't the world holding him back, but himself. Believing nothing could be changed, he stopped himself from changing. Thus, Jay Waringcrane came into existence.

Earlier ideas were remixed around this new protagonist. I merged the devil boss lady and the devil intern into a single character, a semi-hapless sort for Jay to outwit. That was Perfidia Bal Berith. The hero's sister, whose subplot originally lacked any connection to him, now became a foil to his ideology. She exhibited utter faith in the "real world"—its mechanisms, its processes—and applied herself diligently to maintenance of its status quo. That was Shannon Waringcrane.

Still needed a plot. Since my hero was no longer a social bumbler, I discarded the original beginning where he annihilates the Demon King's army and toyed with a new idea. The human kingdom, besieged by the Demon King's army, becomes aware via prophecy that a hero is about to appear in their world. The king sends a party led by the gallant prince to find the hero and bring him safely to the kingdom. When Jay arrives, he meets the prince and his crew, but they are immediately beset by demons, who kill most of the party and grievously wound the prince. Jay, the dying prince, and the sole other survivor―a taciturn, dark-skinned mage named Viviendre who is secretly the prince's lover―barely escape. The prince succumbs to his wounds shortly afterward, leading to an emotionally-charged moment in which Viviendre laments his death and blames Jay for causing it. Leading to an adversarial relationship between Jay and Viviendre that, after much character development, would eventually turn into romance.

Then Jay would lead the kingdom against the Demon King, constituting the main plot.

This idea improved on the previous in several ways: exciting start, high drama, and a long-term goal. However, as I became more engrossed in this project, I came to dislike the "default fantasy world" I'd used as my setting thus far. When my goal was "quick and easy," the Dragon Quest-inspired medieval fantasy tropes sufficed. Now, they struck me as banal. In particular, a generic "Demon King" villain disinterested me (which was why I summarily disposed of them in the idea's first iteration), so even if it outlined a clear direction, it wasn't a direction that enthralled. I realized that to continue, I needed to do some worldbuilding.

VII. Worldbuilding

I dislike worldbuilding.

I prefer the real world―or the real world distorted by urban fantasy and surrealism―to an entirely fictitious fantasy world. In writing an isekai, I had wanted to maintain the connection between the real world and fantasy world (hence why one of my earliest ideas was for Shannon and her cadre to follow Jay in a modern vehicle with modern weapons). But by relying on stock fantasy tropes, I only exacerbated the core issue. I decided to think deeply about my setting and design it to both stand out and clearly relate to our world.

To determine a deeper connection between fantasy and related, I pondered the historical development of the fantasy genre, from chivalric romance to Tolkien. (I collected my thoughts into this essay.) Tracing this lineage, I considered writing a fantasy world modeled on Arthurian and Carolingian romance. Then I took the idea deeper. Much of the early modern fantasy genre, up to and even to an extent including Tolkien, was rooted in nostalgia for an imagined and idealized past. Many pre-Tolkien fantasy works were born out of Victorian fascination with medieval Europe, as evidenced by the Waverley novels by Sir Walter Scott, the Arthurian poems of Lord Tennyson, and the paintings of the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood. The original isekai, Mark Twain's A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, parodied this idealized medievalism (Twain blaming Walter Scott specifically for the genteel Southern culture that propagated slavery and rendered the Civil War inevitable).

Then I realized that, 200 years before this nineteenth-century craze, there was another major literary work that parodied excessive love of chivalric romance: Don Quixote.

As soon as I made that connection, everything clicked. Rather than Perfidia whipping up a new fantasy world on demand, she would reuse one she created in the 1600s for a Don Quixote-esque figure. Rather than Spanish, my Don Quixote would be British, a royalist in the English Civil War seeking escapism in face of the collapse of monarchy. Pursuing standard chivalric romance activities, he would overthrow a corrupt Catholic church analog, slay a few dragons, and war against a Pagan nation that he later converted to Christianity.

What happened to this world 400 years after Don Quixote used it as his playground? I imagined the ex-Pagan nation a vassal to the Christian nation, while secretly plotting an uprising. Don Quixote's descendants, legitimate or illegitimate, grasping to maintain control in face of their weakening bloodline. Dragons hunted to extinction. A stasis that prevented sweeping change without the intercession of a true human, yet gripped by slow decay. Prayers cast for a new hero to save them from this stupor.

I also wondered how the Christians of this world reckoned with a Christianity whose foundational text is clearly meant for a different world entirely. While Don Quixote's scion, still ruler, promoted the religion uncritically to maintain their grip on the culture, underground grew a nihilist cult that believed nobody in their world was saved, that Christ died on Earth and thus only cleansed Earth's sins. All of this intermixed with the same historical devolutionary forces that ended feudalism and gave rise to mercantile oligarchy.

That was the world Jay Waringcrane entered. A world rife with thematic potential. Finally, a plot was forming.

VIII. Starting the Story

This last stretch of planning happened quickly. (Evidenced by traces of the earlier idea remaining in Cockatiel x Chameleon, specifically in the brief descriptions of the in-universe isekai from which Temporary the elf hails.) Rather than fight a Demon King, Jay's mission would be more chivalric in nature; he would rescue a princess from the evil wizard who led the heretical cult. Liking my earlier idea about the princess who first seemed like an ordinary damsel but turned out to ulterior motives, I decided for an end-of-arc twist where the princess secretly worked with the cult all along. Thus, Princess Mayfair came into existence. For the evil wizard, I reused one of the original king's advisors, the living plant.

The gallant prince and his secret lover from the second iteration returned as Jay's companions, although I changed the lover from a mage to a ranger. Shannon would still pursue Jay, but I merged Van Zandt and Van Langevelde into a single character named Wendell Noh and cut the private detective entirely, giving the sleuthing job to Shannon's boyfriend, Dalt Swaino. I rearranged the big action setpiece where Shannon's group meets disaster: Instead of fighting knights, they would fight a dragon, and this time, Jay would be involved.

After that, keeping with the chivalric romance aesthetic, I threw some faeries into the mix (I love faeries): the obnoxious Olliebollen, who would play off the more sullen Jay, and Flanz-le-Flore, a mid-arc complication. I also decided to make the cult members monstrous demi-humans with magic powers; the Christian anathema against magic must necessarily make it actively corrupting in this world run on Christian precepts.

On top of these plans, several long-term ideas already bubbled: The eventual introduction of the devil world, Sansaime's pregnancy, Viviendre, a battle with elves, Mayfair uniting the two worlds. The ideas flowed one after another now that I established a solid base. Sketchy outlines of the full story stood limned in the distance. I was ready to write.

I decided the work would be published serially at a one-chapter-per-week pace, identical to Fargo and Chicago. That decision was baked directly into my original desire to write a "fun" story. With a serial work, there is less burden of technical execution; the focus is on a fluid pace with regular updates instead of unimpeachable prose. Furthermore, serial writing lends itself to story speculation as readers comment every week, turning the work into a collaborative experience. Some readers of Chicago have told me that the reviews on fanfiction.net are an integral part of the experience, for instance.

When I post serial works, I first build up a "backlog." Essentially, that means I write several chapters ahead of what I'm posting online. The backlog ensures I can regularly post chapters even if one chapter takes longer to write than usual. (I can generally write a 6,000- to 7,000-word chapter in one week.) For this work, I decided to complete four chapters before posting the first. This generous backlog allowed me to post the entire first arc weekly, without a break prior to the climactic chapter that took two weeks to write.

When establishing the backlog, I also gave myself more time than usual to edit, which allowed me to polish the beginning for a better first impression. I meticulously pruned the first chapter to make the dialogue between Perfidia and Jay as snappy as possible while also minimizing exposition. (Originally, Perfidia explained the Seven Princes and their increased quotas in an internal monologue, since I knew they would become important much later in the story, but I cut it for streamlining purposes.) Additionally, I spent a long time deciding when Chapter 2 would end and Chapter 3 would begin; originally, the scene at the beginning of Chapter 3 was at the end of Chapter 2, but I moved it because it better matched the tone and scope of the third chapter. Olliebollen was originally far more in-your-face obnoxious; I toned them down. Lastly, I added the part in Chapter 4 where Jay remembers being beat up by Shannon's past boyfriend, which not only hinted at a soon-to-be-introduced major character, but gave Jay a reasonable chip on his shoulder to cause friction between him and Makepeace.

With four chapters completed, I was ready to post. Almost. I still needed a title. The entire time I operated only thinking of the story as "my isekai story." Thinking long and hard, I came up with titles such as American Isekai, The Waringcranes, 144k Angels, and—my personal favorite—Hellbrowned, the last of which I was strongly advised not to use by every single person I know.

(Side note: Setting the story in Cleveland had been an easy decision. It's such a funny city, taking Detroit's tragic Rust Belt decay and removing all grandeur. The Jon Bois video The Browns Live in Hell and the famous Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video sum it up neatly. Setting the story in 2017, the same year the Browns infamously went winless, was also a snap decision.)

Finally, I thought back to Don Quixote, the impetus for much of the worldbuilding, and the title revealed itself.

IX. Writing the Story

Because of my fast-paced schedule, I lacked the luxury to make major changes to my plans as I wrote. I started with a plan for the first arc and scattered ideas for the future. As I wrote the first arc, I planned the second, and as I wrote the second, I planned the third.

Room remained for tweaks, though. Each time I write a story, I try to do at least one thing outside my technical repertoire. This time, I wanted more flexibility in my characters. I usually only introduce the bare minimum necessary, and aggressively cut or merge characters to reduce the total number. In Cockatiel x Chameleon, however, some commentators criticized how the Consortium's limited number of characters gave the impression it was as dead and empty as Harper's real life. While that impression doesn't necessarily conflict with the story, it did expose limitations to my economical approach.

I dislike having limitations. (Unfortunately I have many.) Thus, I decided to write more characters whose storylines were not plotted from the onset, characters I would develop spontaneously as the story progressed.

An example is Lalum. I introduced Lalum in Chapter 5 as an enemy with a unique power for Jay to fight. Zero subsequent intent for her at the time. Then I realized her power would interact well with Flanz-le-Flore's, so I kept her around for that fight as well. When Lalum is attacked in the Flanz-le-Flore fight, I was 50/50 on whether she would live or die. However, a friend reading the story really liked her and wanted her to live, and I realized it might streamline the plot if someone was around to point Shannon and her crew in Jay's direction.

Having spared Lalum from death twice, and also conceptualizing more concretely the second arc—including Viviendre's role in it—I decided I had a use for Lalum after all. I conceived of Viviendre and Lalum being foils, envisioning their eventual confrontation in the last arc. Thus, Lalum went from monster-of-the-week to major character. To a lesser extent, characters like Theovora were introduced offhandedly, and while they did not become major characters, I found small uses for them later.

Speaking of Viviendre, that was another challenge for myself. With her, I wrote something I wouldn't normally: A romance. Cockatiel x Chameleon, believe it or not, was originally intended to be a straightforward romance, but I found myself incapable of writing one and pivoted to its current direction. Nestled within the sprawling undertaking of Cleveland Quixotic, the romance between Viviendre and Jay was my attempt to write two people who genuinely liked each other. Their three-chapter mini-arc in the middle of the story moves at a more lax pace than usual, but allowed me to develop a relationship I otherwise wouldn't have been able to.

In general, Cleveland Quixotic is larger than my other works. More characters, more plot threads, more locations, more everything. Though Fargo and Chicago are also large, they operate in a more enclosed and linear space. My thought process with Cleveland Quixotic was to open up and express that feeling of world-spanning storytelling the fantasy genre is so known for. It pushed my limits, but I accomplished that goal more than in any previous work.

The real challenge is, once you go big, how do you reel it back? So many of the isekai I mentioned remain ongoing, proceeding through arc after arc without end in sight. Today's most notable ongoing fantasy literature, George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire, is likewise mired in endless expansion the author seems incapable of curtailing. On RoyalRoad, it's easy to find million-word works with early reviews uniformly positive, but recent reviews expressing a new sentiment: "Dropped after nothing happened for the past 200 chapters."

Above all else, I wanted to avoid that trap. My solution resided in the second arc's climax, which I developed midway into writing the first arc. Uniting the two worlds made it natural for all the distinct groups of characters to join up for the finale, tying every plot thread together. As such, I cultivated multiple storylines in the long and less immediately plot-focused second arc, secure in my knowledge of how it all eventually connected.

Even so, at times it grew overwhelming herding so many characters. Many characters wound up less prominent than I initially intended, sacrificed for the good of the overall pacing. Fortunately, few characters wound up utterly vestigial, and those that did were minor. (There's no worse feeling than a character given loads of screentime and dialogue only for them to end up inconsequential when the curtains finally close. Homestuck reeks of it.)

A few miscellaneous changes that occurred while writing:

I intended for Viviendre's brother, the "mad king" of California, to appear in the final arc, wielding ten relics for an epic duel with Jay. Given the large amount of characters already prominent in the story, I cut him.

I intended for Sansaime to die at the end of the second arc and for Avery to live. This was mainly because I wanted Jay and Shannon to have a cathartic moment with Avery in the final arc (Avery still would have died afterward). I realized that, using Pandaemonium, I could have that cathartic moment anyway, and Avery wound up saving Sansaime's life both outside and inside the story.

On the flip side, I originally intended for Mallory to die at the end of the second arc, but decided I wanted her and Mayfair to have a climactic conflict, which could only be done if Mallory were still alive.

I intended to kill off the minor character Gonzago of Meretryce the entire story, probably by having him jump in front of Shannon to take some attack or another. I never found a way to work it in, and I feel like the actual use I got out of him in the climactic fight, though minor, was far more unique. I likewise considered killing Mademerry by having her take an attack for Mayfair, but I prefer her current ending. I did not intend to kill Pythette, but found at the last moment it would be more convenient if she died.

Beyond that, I wrote the story generally according to plan. Leaving aspects of my plans malleable meant I could write quickly without needing absolute certainty in the precision of every line and action. Only in Chapter 45, the climactic chapter with Beelzebub and Moloch, did I sit down and carefully outline what each character would do at each moment in the chapter. (The chapter's seven-minute time limit made such meticulousness essential.) Otherwise, even in other climactic fights, I relied only on general ideas about what should happen and when.

Ultimately, I successfully completed the longest story, with the largest number of characters, I'd ever written. It pushed my limits, but in a way that didn't leave me gasping for air. Instead, I feel ready and eager for my next story. What'll it be? I have an idea and I've already begun research. I hope to start writing it by the end of the year, and publish it by mid-2024. I'll let you know more as things become more concrete.

X. Names

Before I end this post, a few name origins.

Perfidia Bal Berith: As mentioned in the story itself, "Bal Berith" (or Balberith, Baalberith, et cetera) is a false idol mentioned in the Bible. It is also a demon of the Ars Goetia. My familiarity with the name primarily comes from a weapon used in Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn.

Olliebollen is based on oliebollen, a Dutch pastry.

Mayfair is the name of a character in Shining Force: The Sword of Hajya, the first video game I ever played. Her middle name, Lyonesse, is a character from Arthurian legend.

Makepeace came from an attempt to make a name that would pair well with Mayfair. My primary knowledge of the name comes from British author William Makepeace Thackeray. His middle name, Gaheris, is an Arthurian knight.

John Coke's name was modeled on the character Wicks Cherrycoke in Thomas Pynchon's Mason & Dixon. I only found out after I posted the first chapter that John Coke was the actual name of a person involved in the English Civil War notable enough for a Wikipedia page. I was more than happy to pretend this incredible serendipity was actually my plan all along.

Sansaime's name was modeled on the characters Sansloi ("without law"), Sansfoi ("without faith"), and Sansjoi ("without joy") in Edmund Spenser's The Faerie Queene, which was the primary inspiration for the romance elements of Whitecrosse. "Without love" is also a notable phrase in the visual novel Umineko When They Cry.

Whitecrosse's name also comes from The Faerie Queene, being modeled on the Redcrosse Knight, an allegorical representation of England (with its red cross flag).

Many names in Cleveland Quixotic have an "allegorical" sense, being words that suggest a clear, often moral meaning. Charm, Charisma, Mayfair, Makepeace, Mademerry, Theovora ("god eater"), Condemnation, Obedience, Tricia (short for "patrician"), Meretryce ("meretricious"), Mordac ("mordacious"), Malleus ("malleable"), Astrophicus ("space plant"), Viviendre ("life ender"), Perfidia ("perfidy"), and so forth. These allegorical names are a play on The Faerie Queene being an allegory, although many of the names in Cleveland Quixotic are not an accurate representation of their character, indicating the breakdown of allegory and thus clear moral meaning.

California is the name of a location in Amadís de Gaula, Don Quixote's favorite romance.

Dalton Swaino is the real name of a semi-pro League of Legends player.

Wendell Noh's surname comes from a professional League of Legends player. His given name is the name of a character in Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon and the Blade of Light.

Kedeshah is a Hebrew word that possibly refers to sacred or temple prostitutes.

Ubiquitous is an ordinary word with a clear meaning, but its abbreviation, Ubik, is a Philip K. Dick novel that was also the name of one of the demons in Berserk.

The Seven Princes, rather than refer to the traditional Ars Goetia representations of the Seven Deadly Sins, are pulled from John Milton's Paradise Lost, which was the primary inspiration for most devil theology.

Flanz-le-Flore is a corruption of Blanchefleur, a name that appears in a few romance legends.

Lalum is an alternate translation of Larum, a character in Fire Emblem: The Binding Blade.

Pluxie is a feminization of a semi-pro League of Legends player's screen name.

Tintzel is a corruption of the character's original name, mentioned earlier, which was taken from historical corrupt priest Johann Tetzel.

Jreige is the surname of a semi-pro League of Legends player.

Justin "Just" Vance is a play on J.D. Vance, an Ohio politician.

Temporary, one of the earliest names that persisted into the final form of the story, is modeled on the elves in No Game No Life, who have names like "Think" and "Feel."

The other names in the story do not have any particular meaning or genesis.

XI. Conclusion

I believe that covers the generation of Cleveland Quixotic from beginning to end. If I missed anything, or if there's anything you want to know more about, please send me an ask and I'll be certain to answer. Thank you again for reading and stay tuned for my next work!

#cleveland quixotic #cq #bavitz #writing #the making of #isekai #fantasy

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stitcherofchaos · 11 months

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A Defense of Maglor

Maglor is my favorite character in the Silmarillion. I know there are people out there who loathe him and there are people out there who love him. I know he murdered, that is a fact. There is also the undeniable fact that he chose to take the oath and burn the ships. There is the fact that he was deathly loyal towards his family.

But I have to say this...

Whoever says that he turned around and became self righteous or delusional, clearly didn't read The Silmarillion as how it ought to be read. These are pretty darn bold words but the reason I like Maglor's character is because of two things.

1: He is fictional. I think if you use his name alone, you can misconstrued him subconsciously into a real life person (but I am going to use his name because saying ‘Maglor’s character over and over drives me nuts) the point is, this essay is about CHARACTER not a real person.

2. He raised Elrond into the elf we see/read in The Lord of The Rings. I'm pretty sure if Elrond was abused in any way by him, he would not be the same great elf lord. Not to mention Elros was a mighty and gentle king, as if I don't know who THAT'S reflecting.

3. He was the only son of Feanor to throw away a silmaril, and regret sorrowfully (now tell me if he is so 'self righteous' or 'delusional', why is he so sorrowful and regretful canonically?)

I had to say these things because Maglor hate makes me physically nauseous (and for pete's sake, I'm exaggerating). Now, you may think I am a hypocrite for taking one's perspective alone on a character so seriously. But I am a self made writer myself; I am not trying to force my opinion on anyone. But when someone misunderstands a character from how they themselves view them instead of seeing the character the the author intended to write, that bugs me greatly.

And yeah yeah, there are people out there who just don’t care and writer whatever that heck they want due to their fanon ideas….

Why don’t you go and write about your own character from those ideas and create your own story instead of leeching off from a famous author?

I like Maglor because the way Tolkien rewrote several drafts of the silmarillion to create characters into the way he saw them.

Maglor is not perfect, he is morally ambiguous at best and evil at worst, but who was the one who saw the Star of Earendil and had hope? The fact that he's not a perfect character or the 'good' or 'nice' son of Feanor is the reason I like him so much. Tolkien did say he inherited his mother’s more gentle temperament. Again, an ignored fact in canon.

At least I am not one of the greater hypocrites who gives his good traits to Maedhros and Maedhros's bad traits to Maglor. Is it because Maedhros is hot? You can be honest with yourselves. Everyone wants to find excuses for the handsome ones.

I don't find excuses for Maglor. Whether anyone in this site wants to admit it or not, finding excuses for a morally ambiguous character is a toxic trait. It is not a healthy way to go through life.

That being said…

Who has ever thought of the idea that Maglor's soul was ripped apart when he realized he was the enemy all along?

Tolkien was a Catholic first and foremost. I believe that when he wrote that Maglor could not withstand the pain of the silmaril, he meant the great spiritual pain of his soul being torn apart by the guilt and regret.

((I also have a headcanon that his body became a husk afterward and did eventually fade, it was like in a catatonic state where he could only walk and sing. Also, that you can hear his voice along the cliff sides or caverns of the beaches, he was known as the mighty singer, it's not because he's still around, but because of the eternal echoes that still haunt the beaches.) I like solid explanations before anything too abstract.)

Also, another thing. Who the heck thinks they themselves are self righteous enough to decide whether to forgive the feanorians or not? They are FICTIONAL. And besides, that's the Teleri's job. If someone asked me whether or not I would look Maglor in the eyes and forgive him. I would tell that person that I had no right because it was not my business. Some people hate Maglor/the feanorians so much to the point where you would wonder if they actually believe that they were personally effect by the feanorians. If you’re one of those people, please either get some therapy or touch some grass (I’m trying to be as gentle as possible so forgive me if I offended you).

The reason I like Maglor, it's actually a pretty deep and personal reason. But, who cares, it's not like he's real or that anyone else on this site cares about self preservation or privacy.

I read the Silmarillion during a darkplace in my life. So when I read about a character who was loyal, merciful, imperfect, ruthless, and regretful... I admired him. Someone who gave up his morals to protect and serve his family, that is admirable. Though his loyalty should have been with his morals, it was still fierce and bright like any son of feanor, or any more so than any of his brothers.

I like him, because he taught me what you should do in times of hardship and crisis and what you should not do, which is basically what I was going through during that time, and even now. That is, despite circumstances, remain hardy and stick to your morals because doing so will give you a prosperous ‘harvest’. Stay close to your family with loyalty and charity, but be wary of the family members who use or manipulate you, get out of that kind of situation. Like imagine you have a ‘Fëanor’ parent. Would you rather live with him or your ‘Nerdanel’ parent? Make a better choice than the choose of those seven brothers. They chose wrong and it lead to their deaths.

Tolkien wrote stories to create, and to teach. I don't see why I should ignore these values instead of appreciating and learning from them. It's the reason why I prefer to look at Maglor's character and learn from him rather than hate or search for reasons to hate him.

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shadesofgrace88 · 11 months

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I watched Elemental for a second time last Friday night. It was really neat to take in more of the details (background, music, character design, etc.) this time--while also still enjoying the movie. I really wanted to appreciate it on the big screen again and help the box office (even if it was a little). It was just as exciting and touching to watch as the first time.

[I kind of wish this was the title screen in the movie, but alas...]

Now, some further thoughts...

🎨THE ART🎨

I got the art book as soon as it was available, but made myself wait until I watched the movie to open it. I got it a month before the movie released. Legit left the plastic on, haha. The art in it is so mesmerizing. I do wish some of the behind-the-scenes 3D stuff had been added as well, or even a single layout from the movie. (hopefully some bonus features for the DVD!)

As much as I love and admire 2D art (which the art book is full of), I'm not sure if that alone would have displayed the emotions this movie needed and portrayed as deeply. I'm also pretty sure 3D has always been Pixar's thing anyways...Correct me if I'm wrong though!

But reading through the art book and learning about how they handled the process, how long they studied certain things for animating and creating this world was so fascinating. Finding ways for it to connect and work together made my art-loving heart so giddy. I remember coming across a Twitter post where one animator talked about how they managed to animate fire hugging by putting two matches together. Sounds simple, but it's so interesting and with the level of lively detail given to the fire characters, I imagine it was difficult to construct and render.

On the second watch, noticing when Ember lit up when happy was so cool. It wasn't just a smile or happiness of the eyes, but the entire character! I also found the stretch and squish of the characters to be really fun and cute. How the different elements reacted to their world was cool. Wade's hair! It's a wave that constantly moves! There's so much detail hidden in so many little things. The way they reflect onto one another. The glow from her fire. I love the outline to their characters. I think the art book referred to it like a membrane? It's more visually pleasing being kind of sketchy and not just a slab of bold lineart.

There are so many stunning panoramic scenes throughout the movie that showcase the brilliance of the world-building and characters. Such as the rainbow shot in the gif below. I honestly love the underwater scene so much. I found it more romantically alluring than even the Tangled boat scene.

💞THE ROMANCE💞

It's not just a slap-them-together-and-call-them-a-couple kind of romance, in my opinion. They have a plausible meet cute into not really "enemies," but they each have their reasons for the events that mesh them together. They have arguments. Like, realistic arguments...For a "kids movie." (I honestly hate that mindset so much because I prefer animation over live action stuff, but that's an entire essay, so moving on). The arguments aren't petty and stupid or miscommunication. They help each other to grow without being controlling or overbearing. And omigosh, THE CONFESSION! The date montage!

The romcom moments matched the evolution of a typical romcom beat sheet. (I'm writing a few myself so I've referred to it often). They have individuality as much as being a unified couple. Their relationship progresses fluidly along with the story. Low key kinda sad the gif below was just promotional, haha. She's like a gremlin teasing him 🤣

🎶THE MUSIC🎶

Gosh, the music. I get so excited with how well it matches the movie overall, and how well it crencendoes and grows quieter at just the perfect moments. There are so many scenes where it's just chef's kiss, but I don't want to spoil them, so...yeah. It's so whimsical. The Firish music is imagative and charming. Some of the musical bits reminded me of Spyro the Dragon, which is my favorite game series.

Thank you Thomas Newman for bringing Elemental alive with such a gorgeous score. And to Lauv--"Steal the Show" is such a bop.

✍️THE WRITING✍️

One critique I've seen a lot from people is how the story is unoriginal. To be honest, tropes exist for a reason. It's not the tropes that's the problem, it's how they're executed. And Elemental does it splendidly. Me personally being a hopeless romantic, I of course adore the romantic aspect of the film, but the relationship between Ember and her father is so vital to the story. It's practically why the story even kind of exists. Especially after watching it the second time and catching how many beat sheet moments align with her and her dad. When Ember said THAT near the end, I was crying even more, because...relatable.

As for the immigration part of the story, I can't speak much on it since I haven't had to experience that. It doesn't feel like my place to talk about, but from what I've read from others who can relate to that, they've mentioned it being well done. I hope this message of the story can find more audience, because as much as I enjoyed the trailers (that teaser was perfection--no plot spoilers, simple, cute, awesome introduction to the setting and characters), the official trailer and TV spots did not do justice to the heart of the story, in my opinion. I really kind of despise how much they advertised the "toot toot" joke when it could've involved more about the central theme of the movie. Like I said, Ember's relationship with her dad is so important.

Whoever marketed it as "Romeo & Juliet," I have a question...Why??? That play is a TRAGEDY. Just because "they can't be together" should not have meant they passed the advertising as a story similar to Romeo and Juliet. Wade and Ember are also more clever, lol. People are saying they haven't seen Elemental marketed, while others say it's been everywhere (signs, billboards, etc.). BUT, either way it was marketed poorly. The official trailer really should've delved more into the family and father/daughter dynamic more. For releasing Father's Day weekend, why was that not a decision during marketing???

By the way, it's not just Zootopia but with elements like I've seen people saying. This is an actual romcom, meaning the romance is actually crucial in it. I ship Nick and Judy, but it's not confirmed--let's wait for Zootopia 2 though, which announced back in January. Both films handle discrimination (and I love Zootopia), but where Zootopia has an actual villain, the "villain" of Elemental is the pressure Ember feels being an immigrant daughter and the opposites attract. External forces vs internal. Just because it's a modern city in both films, it really seemed like it had to be that way for Elemental. Like how the elements live among their world. The intro scene when the parents first arrive paint such a good image of the setting immediately.

I also feel like Wade and Ember are older characters. At least 20s, considering the passage of time mentioned and worrying about careers. Which is cool to me as an older audience member. I really want Elemental to survive and possibly maybe continue the story in some way, but after reading an article stating that a writer said there was going to be a baby at the end...Like, please don't. Let them live first, lol. As a couple. As Ember getting new experiences. Let her have her internship. What's Wade doing after they move? If they did a kid route, please do it as an epilogue or later short like Carl's Date. I just hate how society/movies/books are like "the couple has to have kids to prove their love" kind of thing. Bro, I think Wade has proved his love...

Anyways...

The casting was also terrific! Leah Lewis and Mamoudou Athie really did an awesome job bringing Ember and Wade to life. The emotion in so many scenes hits hard. Side characters were done really well too. I know some people wanted air and earth to be shown more, but maybe they could be more in the future? In the art book, the reason water founded Element City was because it was assumed the most opposite to fire.

I've read that people will just wait until it's on Disney+ because of fast releases anyways. Cheaper too, I guess. But Elemental really deserves to be enjoyed at the theaters with good sound quality and epic graphics. As much as I can't wait to own this movie to re-watch at home whenever I want, I'd gladly wait an extra few months to let Elemental shine in theaters to try to make it's money back and more.

Again, I'm begging people to give Elemental a try. It touches on so much more than romance, even though it did an amazing job as an official animated romcom. Family is a subject that is just as important to the core of the film. It's fun, funny, and artistically and musically awesome.

Thank you to Peter Sohn for pitching Elemental. For getting this story told and made. Thank you to each and every Pixar crew member who helped bring this world alive. I appreciate your time and effort put into this movie so so so much. You deserve so many awards and love for this project 🩷

PS, hubby found the classic Pixar "A113." Did you spot it?

#elemental #pixar elemental #pixar #elemental 2023 #elemental review #movie review #disney #disney pixar

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khaotunq · 11 months

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Do you have aye akk headcannons that you haven't shared with the group yet? Also who do you think would propose just because I dreamed about that and you talked about marriage in your tags. So I am completely innocent

I HAVE NEVER BEEN ASKED ABOUT HEADCANONS I'M GOING TO THROW MYSELF INTO A VOLCANO

honestly, i don't know that i've got anything special up in the old bargain bucket. i was writing something silly the other day for my own entertainment with eclipse on for background noise and it did sort of slip in that -- and this is as close to controversial as it gets, i know; hold onto yer butts -- i don't think akk's neat? as in tidy. he's organised, sure, but i think his tendency to be a messy bitch extends beyond his personality.

this is a very, very tiny thing okay but go with me on this.

Edit, four hours later: ...apparently it's not a tiny thing. I have had to put a read more because now I've added pictures. Apparently I really do have thoughts.

I think I think of this as a headcanon because a lot of fandom portrayal has Akk as this ruthlessly neat Type A and Ayan as cheerfully messy... but I'm about to insist that this is not, in fact, headcanon: it's canon. I brought receipts.

(I'm kidding but pls nobody bother telling me I'm wrong <3 respectfully, i won't believe u <3)

So over the course of the show we see both Akk and Ayan's bedrooms, right? Prior to the show even beginning, these are rooms they've presumably inhabited for quite some time. There is a whole thing we could get into about their respective economical backgrounds and what the set dressing decor says in regards to that, but I'm not gonna. Not today, at least.

Aside from that and the fact that I have a running joke in my head that Ayan lives in a hotel room in his own home (there's another tangent here about the parallel of ayan not having "roots"/a true home/a "space" but I am trying not to write a dissertation here) - they're teenage boys, right?

However,

FIGS 1.1-1.4: Ayan's bedroom.

Ayan's bedroom has nothing in it. Other than his dead uncle, some Alien urn lamps and a whole lotta beige (potential tangent number 590384: characters and their typical/home surrounding's colouring -- Ayan in golds and brown tones; Kan and Thua surrounded in white; Akk and a whole bunch of blues until he goes home and we see his blues meet Ayan's golds, etc etc -- which i'm sure someone's already done).

Now, it's possible that this is because he and Patcharaporn have someone who comes in to do housework, but even if that were the case, you'd still expect some sort of reflection of it being a teenage boy who inhabits that room... but there's nothing. Yes, I'm aware that this is The Thai BL House, but set dressing isn't something that would be outside the realm of possibility entirely. The most you ever see of Ayan in his room is when he's getting all Conspiracy Cork Board and there are just piles of dictionaries on his desk, or when he's sitting around reading dystopic speculative fiction. A single dystopic speculative fiction book. There are no others.

Come on, Aye.

I could write essays about Ayan Sukkhaphisit and loneliness. Essays.

But this is not that day.

FIGS 2.1-2.4: Akk's dorm room.

Ignoring the fact that there are obvious differences due to Akk's being a dorm and Ayan's being a single room in a house, Akk's room is by contrast overflowing with Akk. Akk has crafted his dorm to reflect himself.

Or rather, to reflect the image he wants to portray, but there are little pieces of him everywhere.

(I'm sure there's meaning in the spoon print, I just don't know what it is yet. The spoon canvas, truly more than anything in Akk's room, Sends. Me.)

There are books everywhere - light sources (tangent 4012432: all of Akk's light sources are caged in some way), knick-knacks that speak to a character with far more to him than he presents to the world, a calendar that never changes from September 3rd.

I think Akk is neat out of necessity, out of maintaining his image; I think Ayan is neat out of never having anywhere to really have stuff. I think, if canon were to progress, we'd see Akk relax even further into his space because it's the only place he can be careless and Ayan begin to be unafraid to actually take up some space.

(Tangent 6535423420: all of Ayan's personality is on him, at all times - the necklace, the hoody: his home is himself. In many ways, while Ayan is a cocky little shit, he's potentially the more deeply insecure.)

(Tangent and class discussion topic 22871342: is Ayan's room being borderline sterile a way of showing that Ayan himself is exactly how he appears to everyone - in that, he has nothing to hide? Compare with Akk's ruthless self control and dogmatic need to be perceived as perfect contrasting with how unsterile his home is.)

(Tangent 900122156: The first time we see Ayan begin to truly inhabit a space is when he and Akk are placing photos of him and his mother in Akk's room)

I'm not getting started on Akk's bedroom at his parents' house because 1. it's a boat cabin, and 2. I have to go eat something, lmao. But, for posterity, I guess:

FIGS 3.1-3.3: Akk's bedroom.

I leave it to you guys to note the multiple and varied light sources (there's still a caged light!), light streaming in from several billion windows, the storage/units brimming with things on or in them, the same dang blue mug from his dorm, the bathroom door wide open to show the mirror and thus adding more light.

(Tangent 123019242222...: Akk standing at the stern/wheel in his bedroom as the above interaction begins and what it means about his need for control while Ayan's mere presence lures him away)

(Additional thought added an hour after I posted this because it was in my head when I started answering this and then it disappeared and then I was brushing my teeth and it's back for some reason so: I think there's part of Akk that actively revels in mess/chaos. Something about him being so externally orderly, something about Ayan throwing his world into chaos and that being what draws him to Ayan, something something something, going to finish brushing my teeth.)

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