Hearts of Roses || Scene 1

𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂⇢ “Don’t forget about the thorns.” 

In which you stumble upon Wonderland and the Prince of Hearts. How you end up in Wonderland is something explained as complete nonsense, but also quite simple; Just a key and a door. What if it’s not easy to return from Wonderland, though? A locked door and a lost key; now surely that’s not so bad if it weren’t for the Queen of Hearts’ threatening intentions.

⇢𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓼 》 Prince of Hearts!Hyunjin x Fem!Reader, Fantasy AU, Alice in Wonderland AU, Fluff

⇢𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 》 Explicit language

⇢𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮 》This is pure fiction and is not meant to portray the characters in real life. This also will not be completely accurate to the original themes of Alice in Wonderland. Do not repost, translate, nor steal my work in any way. Please inform me if I missed any warnings or for just any thoughts. (May continue series depending on how this chapter goes). Thank you, I hope you enjoy this!

𝓢𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓜𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽   ||    𝓝𝓮𝔁𝓽

I.

Being in a dream, wether it’s in the middle of a slumber or a simple daydream, plays like a brief solace in the midst of a complex reality. Certainly this must be a dream… right? Everything out of the ordinary, nothing familiar to the everyday world; surely it is. Though, it’s all unbelievably lucid that it leaves too many traces of doubt.

“Ridiculous,” You mutter, constantly blinking your eyes for adjustment. “Where the hell am I?”

On top of lush fields, you sit up with a groan, arms propping your body up from behind. Your thoughts desperately try to recall memories of your sudden blackout, but all is hazy. The tall grass softly brushes against your skin making you shudder at the ticklish feeling. Though your vision gradually adjusts to the observed surroundings, your mind struggles to follow. Concentration seems too far out of possibility at the moment.

Color! Color is simply yet extraordinarily everywhere; contrasting against the rich green base of nature. How could this be? And in such bizarre, enlarged figures too! As if trying to be a forest itself, vibrant mushrooms stand tall like several story buildings. Literally. Mushrooms with umbrella-shaped caps are colored like pumpkins, the noon sky, and even like bright pink gowns at ridiculous parties. They’re woven in between actual trees of the forest, trunks thick as the centuries themselves. From the ground to the branches, roots and vines grow twisted and curled, spiraled into its own embrace. The sky, or what’s left through the canopy, is a cloudless pale blue. A cool, somewhat comforting, breeze hugs the dense forest along with you who helplessly sits within it.

“What a… strange place.”

“Why, you’re not so different yourself!”

Startled, you scan your surroundings in search of the one behind the amused voice. Quite difficult, noting all the forest’s dark crevices to possibly hide in.

“Up here, fool.”

With a light scoff, you peer up to immediately notice a figure sitting on a branch up high. Though he appears mostly human, he also has purple hair, cat-like ears crowned on top, and a fluffy striped tail swaying side to side behind him. His legs swing back and forth as his hands grip the branch, his body leaning a bit forward with curious eyes towards you. The stranger smiles mischievously, bright blue eyes squinting as he speaks in a amused tone. “You, girl, are certainly no local. And I’ve seen almost every person and creature pass these properties! Or may I say, the other way around too.”

You aren’t exactly intimidated, though you could say that, but more rather weary; suspicions growing towards not only the location, but the strange man above. Instead of answering, you turn your attention to a cold item in your hand you’ve unknowingly been fumbling with. A small golden key. Shit, that’s right! You jerk your head behind you to see the dark wooden door you previously entered before passing out. It stands by itself between the trees, clearly out of place; including you. Vaguely, you recall unlocking the unfamiliar door in the basement with a key before ending up here. To add more, it was a new house you had moved into, so of course you had to check all the doors in your own home! Jumping to your feet, you shuffle towards the door, but the same voice interrupts before you can make any further move.

“Don’t go!”

You hesitatingly look up, returning the gaze of the gleaming eyes and securely tucking the key in the pocket of dress. “And why should I listen? I clearly don’t belong here nor even am aware of my own whereabouts. Certainly, that is more than an enough reason to return home.”

“You are the strange one who appeared out of nowhere along with that door of yours. Shouldn’t I be the one fleeing home?” He chuckles. “Now, tell me your name. That is… unless you enjoy being called fool.”

“Y/N.”

“Minho.”

As if the situation could get any more perplexing, it seems as if Minho’s body fades within the colors of the forest surroundings, vanishing completely out of sight. You blink your eyes madly to confirm if you were seeing properly.

“The fuck-” You taut as you slightly rotate your body when something taps your shoulder. “OH GOD!!” You shriek, jumping a few feet back and shielding yourself with your arms.

In front is the same boy who was just up in the tree, now cackling at your reaction. “You fool, acting like you’ve never seen such a sight!”

“Exactly, I-I haven’t! You were just up in the tree, how—” You halt your voice to calm yourself down as you’re still shaken from… well basically everything! Letting out a helpless sigh, you speak once again. “May I remind you, I’m not from this place.”

“Which is why you should stay! You must grow familiar and even fond of Wonderland.”

“W-wonderland?”

“Yes, the place we are in of course, or the world I should rather say. Don’t be so stupid. What’s the harm in—”

“Minho? You aren’t telling yourself your own stories again, are you? You really are cra— Oh my.” Another male treads his way through the thick greenery, twigs snapping in his path as he stumbles in front of the two of you. “Oh no, no, no, you certainly are not having a chat with yourself but rather… who are you?”

The newer male stands dressed in a nicely buttoned, dark suit and bow tie. He’s a tad shorter with a face a bit pointy. Along with black hair brushing down to his eyes, a pair of tall, black bunny ears rest on his head. However, his facial expressions are quite intimidating as he scans you with a cold eyes. Now this was getting impossibly more overwhelming.

“I’m Y/N. I’m not exactly sure how I ended up here, but I do know how to return home. So, if you excuse me, I’ll be out of your way—”

“No, you mustn’t go!” Minho places himself between you and the door in a rather panicked manner. “Don’t tell me our previous conversation was nothing but pointless! Changbin, you’re visiting Chan, am I right?”

“Indeed! In fact…” His hand reaches in the pocket of his pants, pulling out a golden pocket watch. “I hate to admit it, but I’m actually running a bit late.”

“Perfect! Chan enjoys guests and, well, socializing in general I suppose. I’m positive he won’t mind an extra guest!” Minho nudges your arm with his with a wink.

“I’m grateful for the offer, but I think I should be heading home—”

“I suppose he won’t mind…? I’d think about it more, but more time is being wasted as we speak!” Changbin scurries towards you and gently grabs your wrist.

“Please, I believe I must retu—”

“And I believe I don’t want to hear another second of you whining, so go on. Just relax, you anxious fool,” Minho interrupts you again, his prideful, yet annoying, smile plasters his face once more.

“I can assure you will be the most minimal amount of fine and safe!” The rabbit-like male gives you a ‘reassuring’ squeeze that you desperately try to shake off. “Talk to you later Min. Can’t have the tea getting any colder now, can we Y/N?” Changbin tugs you forward, having you give in and follow alongside.

“Good luck~” Minho sings. You look back, watching his body creepily fade away along with his ‘usual’ grin.

“No need for such a long face, Y/N! Though I come unfortunate, no answer to your questions because I have no clue myself, good friends’ supper will indubitably bring cheer.”

You can only nod, weakly smiling in response to Changbin.

A large clearing stands in the midst of the forest. Stone ground with moss woven between the cracks hold up a long rectangular table, a white cloth completely draped over. Dainty floral teacups and teapots decorate the surface, white glass platters topped with pastries and berries. Various cushioned throne-like chairs are placed around, presenting different colors like the mushrooms. Majority of the seats are occupied by other ‘people’ who, too, consist of animal features.

However, the man in the center resting on a giant green seat, appears not of ears nor tails like the rest. Instead, his attentive appearance indulges on his eye-catching patterned suit; and a large top hat crowned on top of short red hair. He smiles at the two of you, clearing his throat before speaking in a rather joyous tone. “Welcome! You’re quite late, Bin, but what’s new. And oh? A face I cannot recall. Whose this?”

“A new company not only to us, but Wonderland!” Changbin chimes. He nudges your arm, insisting for you to speak.

“Ah, yes. I’m Y/N, pleasure to meet you,” You softly say, giving a friendly smile.

“And where do you come from?” The red-haired male asks.

“As strange as it sounds, I entered a door and ended waking up here without any intentions of doing so. I will speak in advance, though, that my time here isn’t forever. I do have a home to return to.”

“Strange? Why, this entire world is normally strange itself! Now sit, sit! Worry about returning when the time comes. I do hope you like tea and, of course, the pastries our dear friend, Felix, made. And on an extra note, my name is Chan.”

“Speaking of who, where is Felix?” Changbin asks eagerly while pulling out a deep orange chair, hands gesturing for you to sit. You take a seat between Chan and another bunny-like person who flashes you a smile, but instead of being all black, he was dressed in a chestnut brown from ears to shoes.

“Extra sudden castle duties have held him back in the castle’s kitchen today. A similar situation also plays for our dear Jeongin. Though, our prince was kind enough to bring down those treats on his way here,” Chan explains as he reaches for a teapot and pours it into the cup in front of you.

“Then… where is the prince?”

“Not a clue, Bin! He dropped the treats off and disappeared without a breath. Moving on, I suppose it would be more than polite if we give ours new friend a proper introduction, hm?”

“Not a doubt! Seungmin is my name, quite nice to meet you, Y/N,” The brown bunny-eared guest next to you beams.

“Likewise, Seungmin.”

“And Jisung is none other than me!” Cheers another male who sits at the far end, his dark hair decorated with brown mouse ears; a long thin tail waves behind him as his hands follow the same motion.

“And as you know, I am Changbin.”

“Now that has taken place, let us help ourselves with scrumptious delights, shall we?”

Would it be foolish to intake the food placed in front of you? Or would it be rude to not? Not wanting to bring any displeasure, you take a nibble of a blueberry muffin. The hint of sweetness along with tart sparks in your mouth and coats your tongue. The treats are undoubtedly tasty! What’s more foolish though? The fact that you are gradually enjoying your time here, a place where it is full of everything bizarrely unknown. Yes, something to scold yourself for, but perhaps for later.

The soft rays of sunshine reflect down upon the gathering. Once in a while, a bright blue butterfly would flutter by, making Jisung smile like that’s all he had knowledge of. Surely and not slowly, the food disappears off the platters, leaving only traces of crumbs. Chats and laughter coated any silence, but none you really took part in. How could you anyway? In the end, you were still ‘lost’ in another world, mindlessly having a tea party… with a group of young strange men…

Despite the obliviousness to time, hours did pass by as you intake the newly colored sky. A roof of pastel purple replaces the blue. The sun was no longer above, but now leisurely descending behind the horizon of tree tops. As if it did not matter, the chattering continues, just like how you remain seated in awkward silence. You look around and notice how intriguing a gather of rosy bushes appear in the forest behind the party. It moves, but not from natural forces like wind, but rather as if someone dove to take cover. Certainly, there was a figure too, but just a glimpse.

After excusing yourself from the table, which no one really seemed to comprehend, you wander into the green and approach the rather unique floral. Tall bushes and vines flourish into no less than a hundred roses. Those roses appeal as if they were abstractly painted with red, and quite literally too.The petals were either dipped in red or partially painted, and the deep color glistened as if the paint was fresh. One touch from your finger left a confirmation as it left a wet, red mark at your fingertip.

“Do you like them?” A honeyed voice asks out of the blue, and in a tone somewhat eager for approval.

You look to your left, taking note of the lone forest now occupied by not only you, but a tall, slender young male who, too, looks human. The stranger has a black mullet, hair falling barely above his eyes, and slightly parted in the middle. There lies a single mole under his left eye and plump lips forming a small pout. Quietly, you take note of the dark blazer draped over his white shirt decorated with a few red paint splatters. Hands fumbling with each other, he peers down at your face with a rather innocent look.

“The roses I mean.”

“O-oh, yes! The roses are very beautiful.” You quickly return your attention to the flowers, not wanting to discomfort to the man by staring at his… highly attractive appearance…

His lips are quick to form into a bright grin, satisfyingly nodding at your response. “Glad to hear! I painted them myself. This bush I mean. I-I mean, I have no intention to brag, and they’re clearly not finished as some are still white-” He halts his words, preventing himself from going on an embarrassing ramble. Instead, he clears his throat, dragging his fingertips across an untainted pearl-like petal. “You may take one if you like.”

“Oh no, it’s okay! They’re very pretty and disturbing such a sight is the last thing I want to do. Thank you for the offer…”

“Hyunjin, the Prince of Hearts! You?”

“Y/N.”

“Well, my dear Y/N, where exactly do you wander from?” He chuckles, hands politely folded in front of him as his body faces fully towards you. “I mean no offense, it’s just that it’s clear you’re not from here. And I don’t intend to be rude, but I couldn’t help but overhear a few conversations coming from the tea party.”

“Not at all, you’re fine! I honestly just walked through a door and ended up here without a clue.” No matter how many times you’ve explained the simplest details about you arrival, you still feel crazily stupid as the words leave your mouth. “Where I come from, simple to say, is very drastic. The nature isn’t so colorful nor such an enormous scale, but rather just a simpler scenery. Or bland I should say. A mushroom there would grow only as big as my palm. And no one comes in forms of rabbit ears or mouse tails. We’re all just... basic humans...?”

Hyunjin clicks his tongue, furrowing his eyebrows in a somewhat disbelief to your description. “In all kind honesty, ‘undeveloped’ seems to suit your world!”

“Yes, compared to Wonderland, it most certainly does,” You giggle. “You believe me, though? I myself think this whole thing is bizarre…” Yes, that is certainly the question. Imagine some stranger coming up to you saying there’re from a different world. Hopefully, your immediate reaction wouldn’t be to believe every word of theirs.

“You think I’m naive, don’t you?” He smirks.

“No! No, that’s not what I’m inferring. It’s just-”

He starts stirring up a laughing fit, his eyes disappearing into crescents. “Oh, I’m messing with you! I can first tell you that I’m not that naive. Or at least I think so… But! I believe you, yes. Wonderland is full of madness, so it would be unfair if I were to not believe you.”

He starts stirring up a laughing fit, his eyes disappearing into crescents. “Oh, I’m messing with you! I can first tell you that I’m not that naive. Or at least I think so… But! I believe you, yes. Wonderland is full of madness, so it would be unfair if I were to not believe you. In fact, from what I’ve learned in books, this isn’t the first.”

“YAH, Y/N!!” You hear a distant, aggressive shout.

Through the bushes, a panting figure comes tripping before Hyunjin and you. His black rabbit ears perk up as he soon stands to face the two of you with a shocked expression;  hands brushing off the leaves and twigs clinging to his suit.

“Hyunjin? We have not seen you at the tea party! And only now you make an appearance not at the table, but in the bushes?”

“Ah, good evening Changbin! Did a bug perhaps make its way in your cup of tea?”

“Fortunately not today, but I came looking for Y/N since I noticed her absence at the table.”

“Well, look at you, being aware at the most absolute wrong timing,” Hyunjin teases, placing his hand on the other male’s shoulder.

“Shut up,” Changbin retorts, brushing the hand off of him. “It’s getting late, especially as we argue. I do suppose, Y/N, you would like to be guided back home? Especially after a long afternoon of dragging you, only to frolic around with tea.”

“Yes, definitely! Thank you very much. I will admit though, I did enjoy my time here.”

Changbin pulls your arm forward, your feet stumbling to keep up with the sudden force. You glance behind your shoulder to view the other boy who has yet to say another word.

“Wait up! I’ll join!”

The entire trip back, the mushrooms and trees remained towered over your heads, sheltering you from practically nothing but a yearning starry sky. Treading back through the forest is something to be also described as walking through a wave of several emotions. Or just for you, to say the least. The silence is, and has been, filled with either the bickering voices of Changbin and Hyunjin, or their hysterical laughing. For you though, your mind couldn’t seem to be kept still. Yes, you are eager to return to your home and properly process everything that just happened. Or, if it is a dream, wake up and develop further scenarios during another dreadful work day. However, a part of you does somewhat feel a sense of disappointment. Returning home meant comfort from this mind twister, but staying a bit longer is also being considered. You just met a group of so far friendly people and a dream-like location you’d like to learn more about. Surely you can’t let it all come to an end after only a few hours! Just like what they say, curiosity kills the cat. Not long later, feet and chattering come to a stop as you’re met with a familiar door.

“It’s sad to say, but I suppose this is where we part,” Changbin huffs out, hands gesturing towards your exit. “It was a pleasure meeting you and I deeply hope this isn’t the end of our encounters.”

“I do too, Changbin. Please send my farewells to everyone else and thank you for the tea and pastries.”

“Absolutely, and safe travels, too! Now if you excuse me, I have an appointment with a friend named Felix that I can’t risk being late to.”

The rabbit friend dashes off with a concerning maniac laugh. Pressing your lips into a thin line, you turn to the door, reaching in your pocket for the key. A hand suddenly places itself on your shoulder, halting your movements and pulling you to face the opposite direction.

“I’ll see you here more in the future, right?” Hyunjin asks, his tone coming out more desperate than intended.

You softly smile at him. “Maybe, if you don’t mind that is. There is a lot I feel like I’m missing out in this world.”

“Please, return and I’ll be glad to show you around!”

Chuckling helplessly, you speak, “Then I shalll see you again, Hyunjin.”

You place the key into the lock of the door knob, turning it until it clicks. Opening the door, you’re greeted by the dusty basement just like how you left it.

“Wait!” The boy takes your hand as you turn around to face him once more. He places a half painted rose in your palm, smiling gently with hopeful eyes. “Please keep it.”

“Thank you,” You reply sweetly. After offering him one last smile, you let your feet return you pass the door and into the emptiness of your home. The cardboard boxes waiting to be unpacked sit like you never even left. You close the door, watching a waving Hyunjin and giant mushrooms disappear behind, before hearing it click as it automatically locks after use.

With a shaky exhale, you collapse to your knees; the cold wood coming in contact with your legs. You admire the gifted rose in your hands and let your mind quietly soak in the events you’ve just experienced.

“What the hell…”

𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽:

@danyxthirstae01​   @sailorhyunjinz​   @rapilne​   @peachy-maia​   @hyunj1nn133​

-taps mic- ahem.... ALL of the Gentle Cottagecore Emoji Asks, if you please

hmm... challenge accepted!

🌿 Herb: What is a scent you find relaxing?

This is very "baby" of me but my mother's scent always calms me down... Also, lavender, verbena and fresh rose scent always calms me down as well. Lavender before I sleep and fresh roses and verbena during the day !

🌱 Seedling: What is something you want to begin learning?

I really want to learn embroidery and how to use a gun. I have two moods, one is soft cottage core and the other one is basically being a secret agent. 🤭

🥛 Milk: What is a food you find comforting when you are sad?

Definitely spaghetti bolognese. It somehow became my comfort food alongside with potatoes. Carbs ! 🍝

🍯 Honey: What is one thing you like about yourself?

I'm very planned and organized in terms of my daily life and academic life. Somehow a character trait of being a Virgo 🌾

🍄 Mushroom: What is a quote you find comfort in?

"Will it matter in 5 years ?"

☕ Tea: How do you take your tea?

Black, no sugar, no cream. ☕️

🐄 Cow: What is one other tumblr blog you really appreciate?

@untowardflower because she is so cute and kind 💛

@maya-the-cute-ass-bee because she is my cute ass bee 🐝

🌳 Tree: What is one thing in your future you are looking foward towards?

Traveling and finding love 🌼 I’m a hopeless romantic !

🍑 Peach: What is a color that makes you smile?

Orange and yellow gives me serotonin 💛🌻🌼🌞

🌻 Sunflower: What is one thing that brightened your day today?

Those fresh strawberries and fresh melons that my dad bought for me from the farmer's market 🍓

🐓 Chicken: What is a comfort movie/show for you?

Gilmore Girls and Gossip Girl are my comfort series, I have many many comfort movies such as p.s. I Love You, Devil Wears Prada, Pride and Prejudice, Harry Potter, Twilight (yes), LOTR, The Man from Uncle, Eat Pray Love, and somehow many mafia movies such as the Godfather Trio. My taste is a bit confusing I know.

🧵 Thread: What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

I haven't been creative since... 2008? Jk, does creating a utopian world and writing a short story about it considered as a creative project?

🐈 Cat: Do you have any pets? Are there some pets you really want?

My family has two canaries, no dogs or cats but I love cats. The tragic part is that I am allergic to the cats 😪

🍅 Tomato: Have you ever gardened, and if so, what is your favorite thing to grow?

I love gardening and see those little seeds growing into big and juicy fruits or vegetables. My favorite thing to grow is definitely strawberries 🍓

🍃 Leaf: What is a plant you find beautiful?

Virginia Creeper 🌿

🐝 Bee: What is a video game that you find comforting?

Any video game from early 2000's especially GTA Vice City lmao bye

🍞 Bread: Do you know how to bake bread? If so, what is something you’ve baked recently?

I do know how to bake a bread but I have never tried it before 🍞

🐇 Bunny: What’s a song that you really like?

“Goodnight, Bad Morning” by The Kills

🌲 Pine: Do you prefer the cold, or the heat?

I born and grew up under the Mediterranean sun, I do love heat, I love the warmth of a summer day but I also love the chilly, gloomy, rainy weather of an October morning ⛈ But I prefer the heat over the cold 🌞

🧶 Yarn: Knitting or Crocheting?

I have never tried any of them but I am interested in learning both of them ! Sitting outside my home, listening bird’s chirping outside during sunset, knitting something for my loved one ? Yes ma’am 🧶

🐑 Sheep: What is a comfort item you own?

my teddy bear 🧸 🥺

🍓 Strawberry: Do you own any pink clothing?

yes I do but they are all pyjamas lmao 💞 I love soft baby pink in my homewear 🎀

🥞 Pancake: What is your favorite breakfast food?

french toasts and strawberries 🍓

or a breakfast burrito 🌯

⛰️ Mountains: Would you rather live in the mountains, city, beach, or the forest?

Cities are noisy, beach is boring, forest is scary. Mountains are also scary but they are adventurous. I should stop watching the Hobbit. 🌄

🧸 Teddy Bear: Do you ever want to raise kids someday?

Yes yes yes ! The weird part is, I always imagine myself as a single mother, I really don’t know why. I find it hard to imagine myself in a marriage. Hopefully, we will see. 💕

🕯️ Candle: What is something you can’t go to bed without?

my teddy bear 🥺🧸

and my blue night lamp 🥺

im a baby 🥺

Thank you for the request, anon ! I appreciate it 🌼

Misfit of Demon King Academy 1 | Healin’ Good PreCure 13 - 14 | Lapis Re:Lights 1 | God of High School 1 | Muhyo and Roji’s BSI s2 1

Misfit of Demon King Academy 1

This originally had the ecchi tag on its anime entry on AniList…or, at least, that’s how it was in my memory…but now that I see it doesn’t have that, it’s just another reincarnation isekai-type series. Let’s dig into it!

I…think this guy is meant to be portrayed as “hot” because he has the piercing eyes and he’s tall (against the girls in what will presumedly be his harem), but he kind of looks like your standard Potato-kun in a white outfit…so, uh…*shrugs*

Uh…is that guy meant to be Indian? You can’t get more obvious than the “Indu” family. Update: You see his brother later and Leorg has fairer skin, so maybe not.

LOL, “Flame of Darkness” makes someone nothing but a chuunibyou.

Uh…this is called The Misfit of Demon King Academy, y’know? Anos (Anoth?) is gonna get in, you bet your butts.

The owl is cute.

…guy, that 3 second rule thing was actually funny, but the more you think about the joke, the less funny it gets. Show: 1. Me: Infinity -1

Just from appearances, I wanna guess Misha is an ice or light magic user, or whatever equivalent the show has.

Is this what Assassin’s Pride could have been…?

How did the mother (Anoth’s) think her kid maturing that fast wasn’t weird?

Mushroom gratin? Is that an actual dish?...Yep, seems so. Sounds nice. I like mushrooms.

What’s up with young mothers in anime these days? Then again, the only other point of reference I have is Masamune-kun’s Revenge…

I thought it was the other Indu guy we saw earlier. This guy’s…not that bad-looking, though (LOL, my preferences ring out loud and clear…)…welp, spoke too soon. There he is. Update: Leorg kinda looks like Hakuto Kunai from Demon Lord, Retry!, come to think of it.

If Zepes died several times over the course of this episode…would one more death actually matter? (Not really, to be honest. Zepes is a scumbag.)

Come to think of it, this anime got postponed due to COVID, yeah? Was that why there was a sakuga spot earlier…?

Was that Sasha (Misha’s sister)? I found her name while checking if the anime was postponed.

I like the colour choices in this show, at least.

I don’t think this show has the best sense of comedic timing. Let your jokes breathe, dammit! That’s what comedic beats are for!

In a season with more offerings, I might get rid of this or pause it, but the season’s fairly sparse as it stands (darn virus!) so it stays.

Update: I didn’t notice, but an Anime News Network staff member wrote that Anoth’s surname is familiar…if you read Harry Potter.

Healin’ Good PreCure 13

Gotta start in the middle for this and work our way back. Note I did watch the 1st 2 eps without subs earlier this year when they were on the official PreCure YouTube, so I’m ahead of most people.

(From wandering the wiki and the news) I’ve seen nothing but pink/blue/yellow Cures these days, so I kind miss the more adventurous colours like green and orange…but then again, I never really liked green. It’s the colour of envy and…as petty as it sounds, I think I developed that bias because green is stereotypically the colour of rot, vomit (aside from anime’s rainbow vomit) and stinky things.

I didn’t notice this, but there’s a faint highlight on the Cures’ eyes (red for Grace, purple for Fontaine and blue for Sparkle).

It’s a drone! In PreCure! Yay! (It finally hit me exactly how much of a distant dream it’s been – from watching Suite and episodes of most of the other PreCure ‘til now – watching PreCure legally as a simulcast is! It’s crazy and it only took, what…5 years between Suite and this? 16 if you count from Futari wa to Healin’ Good.)

Is it that drone?

Hah? This is almost like the electricity-themed PreCure I came up with on the fan wiki. It’s not like I could sue Toei for it, though…they own that stuff, I only own what came out of my own imagination.

The subs say “Rate”, but “rate” has a meaning in English. No wonder the initial wiki translations say “Latte”, especially because the queen is “Teatine” to match.

Okay, so Mei is the sis and Yota is the brother. Got it.

Hey! What if there was a PreCure where the villains had devastated another world before? That would really raise the stakes.

“[T]hunders” (sic)? Thunder is the sound, lightning is the flash. Which one is it?

I see. As soon as they identified it as the Element of Lightning, I sort of guessed they could add it to their repertoire later, and I was right.

Its’s nice to see they put a woman in the moving company as well. Proves that girls can do anything they set their minds to, even what are supposedly “men’s jobs”.

I guess from the face I should’ve expected the element to talk, like the Fairy Tones from Suite, but I didn’t really figure that out until I saw it talk,

I feel like Hinata should’ve gone to see how Mei made her juice. That way, the two might be able to make similar-tasting juice…but that’s just an idea.

Healin’ Good PreCure 14

I feel like Byogens were responsible for Nodoka’s sickness, much like they are for Latte.

“Energy Source” seems to refer to a place where energy appears…I know that sounds a bit dumb if you don’t realise genki hakken means something like “appearance of energy (for a person)”, but…yeah, the PreCure series is like this. Unfortunately, that’s what you have to deal with.

I feel like this “teamwork overcomes all hardships” message is important in this time of COVID-19.

Guaiwaru = “condition is bad”, or ill health (guai ga warui).

Is that the element of air? I thought the PreCure would’ve used their element of lightning to fix the steamer, but hey, teamwork works too.

I’m a weeny bit peevy they translate minna to “girls”. It’s correct in context when it’s been translated that way, but minna means “everybody”.

I imagined Hinata saying “Watashi no smartphone ga!” instead of “Atarashii sumaho ga hoshii!”

Lapis Re:Lights 1

Eh…COVID-19 means I gotta sample things I’m not so crazy about.

Why is one of the first lines in this show “My behind hurts!”?

Bristol? Is this England?...Nope, it’s a place called “Mamkestell”.

I was thinking this girl…I think the reviews said her name was Tiara…was going to sing to the flower to make it perk up again, but nup, she whistled to it. That seems a bit irrelevant, to be honest. (I would prefer an all or nothing approach to a wish-washy approach like this…as in, if this is an idol show, then either go all in with the singing and dancing, or do something else that’ll catch my attention.)

Tiara’s face looks hella generic.

For some reason, I get this ominous feeling when the word “witch” is mentioned…must be the instinct from Madoka popping up again.

Lemme guess. Lynette is the bookworm?...*sigh* Just another method of showing a character is a bookworm without actually showing their reading a book, which I think is counterintuitive.

Get some protective gear, girls!

Rosetta keeps saying “Yes” (in English).

Lemme guess…people ship the dumb one and the smart one? They’re like a gender-flipped Dice and Gentaro, only the smart one is more uppity and the stupid one is more sporty.

The word appears to be noumei, but that exact word doesn’t seem to exist. Lavie seems to say the word is the opposite to something else, but I can’t tell what that is either…

Albino rabbit, eh?

…people probably ship Rosetta and Tiara too, right? *sigh*

So there’s…no singing in this fantasy/idol show. Whistling is how you invoke magic…so how is someone who can’t whistle supposed to invoke magic?!

Whose idea was it to put the OP in the middle of the episode?

It was “Neechan, daikirai!” “Forget you” is a fairly loose translation…

Little Miss Rosetta = Rosetta-chan.

I think Tiara called Rosetta “sensei” when the former wanted the latter to take care of her (i.e. take her to their dorm).

Titi = Tiara. I didn’t actually figure that out because I thought it referred to the rabbits.

Gah! These almost-real-world names (or real world names, in regards to “Bristol”) are gonna drive me NUTS!

*sigh* Boob jiggle.

*sighhhhhhhhh…* Lemme guess, there’s a potential expulsion on the horizon? Update: Yep. Dropped.

God of High School 1

First Webtoon series I’m covering here.

Oh, I checked out the first chapter of the webtoon because CR linked it to their anime page. The only difference I’ve seen from that, aside from fleshing out the backgrounds, is…that creepy skull (?) on the wall.

You can tell it’s Korean when I don’t understand what the text says. (I don’t know Korean, but I do know some Chinese and Japanese.) Update: This is Japanese-dubbed, but they left the Korean text in.

That intro is much more powerful now that the backgrounds are fleshed out.

Ooh, the colours in the OP are very nice!

Hmm? They’re starting with the grandpa, rather than starting with “I’m Mori Jin, 17 years old”? Good choice.

The expressions in this show are funny. I like them already.

Waittttttttt…I dunno how Korean names work. Is Mori Jin’s first name “Mori” or “Jin”? Update: I checked it up, and I got even more confused!

KORG Arena seems to be…from Marvel? Like BnHA references Star Wars???

*sigh* Moonbucks? Again?...and of course the girls only talk about “hotties”. We need a Bechdel test in this thing.

The comments on ch. 1 said “A new Luffy is born”, so now I agree with it…but they’re not going to show how Mori Jin was enlisted for GOH (as they seem to abbreviate it)?

There’s Japanese, English and Korean in the afro dude’s comments.

I’m amazed that tall dude with the spiky hair wasn’t more surprised about Mori Jin and the girl passing by…

Would those glasses on Mori Jin’s head be any help? Update: Turns out those aren’t “glasses”…they’re a sleeping mask.

Kamina glasses!

They put CR and Webtoon advertising over everything in this anime…geesh.

These red parts of people’s noses are gonna bug me, aren’t they…?

It should be battle royale, right? Update: Okay, so I checked and both are correct spellings.

This seems like the sort of thing that would never get funded because you need to pull off every battle scene right.

They cut the initial fight with “Blondie” out, but that actually makes things more interesting! Good choice.

Lemme guess – Mori Jin is going to have to fight this Kang Manseouk guy at full power one day? *shrugs* (Can I stop referring to people by their full names already??? I can’t stop until I know which is the first name and which is the last.) Update: So the wiki finally helped me out and Mori is the first name and Jin the last, meaning I can call him “Mori”. Got it.

*Mori suddenly pulls the prisoner’s pants down* - That was…random.

I liked it more than I thought I would! (Just for reference, the other protag dude is called Han Dae-wi and the girl is Yoo Mira.)

Muhyo and Roji’s BSI s2 1

(Update for the Tumblr fans: I finished s1 outside the seasonal format.) 

Kokkuri-san never goes well in anime…

Where does Nana work again…?

I don’t think Muhyo and Roji are legally (magically legally?) obligated to tell Nana anything about what they do.

Yay! Goryo is animted for the first time! He has such a beautiful voice~!

Notably, Roji wouldn’t have had a smartphone in 2004 (or whatever year close to that when the manga put this bit out).

Goryo (5) vs Muhyo (6). Didn’t figure this out at the time I read the manga.

I think the subbers misgendered Goryo. Goryo is a dude, as can be gathered from the name “Daranimaru”.

“Waka”? Does that stand for “young head [of the office]” or something?

Okay, whose bright idea was it to pair Now on Air (female vocalists) with Muhyo and Roji’s (a series dominated with dudes)…?

Ah, Funimation is on the production team of this anime. That would explain the dub rights.

thanks @s-ongbir-d for tagging me!!

1) what is the colour of your hairbrush?

pink and green

2) what's a food you never eat?

mushrooms are awful and I hate them

3) are you typically too warm or too cold?

I'm usually really cold, my friends joke that I can't thermoregulate because I'll be wearing 5 layers (including 2 jumpers and a coat) and still be shivering)

4) what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

listening to the latest episode of rusty quill gaming! I binged it all in...less than a week(? idk time doesn't exist anymore) so now it's frustrating having to wait for new episodes

5) what's your favourite chocolate bar?

crunchies are top tier and I will fight about that if I have to

6) have you ever been to a professional sports event?

nope! my mum wanted to get tickets to the olympics in 2012 though

7) what's the last thing you said out loud?

"all the doors are open now" (I was singing along to red signal okay)

8) what's your favourite ice cream?

okay the Ben and Jerry's ice cream with the caramel in the middle is So Good, but I also like mint chocolate and coffee (not together obviously)

9) what's the last thing you had to drink?

...probably a blackberry tea this morning? (it's 8pm. hydration? I don't know her)

10) do you like your wallet?

ehhh it's fine, it's just this embroidered black purse with a zip. its juuust big enough to keep my card, train tickets, and some physical money, so it's good enough. I don't really need a bigger one

11) what was the last thing you ate?

I'm snacking on jaffa cakes as I write this

12) did you buy any new clothes in the last week?

for once, yes! I bought the very cool and sexy new magnus merch. unfortunately it's too big so I need to send it back and get a smaller size :/

13) what was the last sporting event you watched?

uhhh idk probably the races at my school's sports day 3 years ago? I skipped two of them because sports day is The Worst, then y11 ended early so I didnt have to watch it

14) what's your favourite flavour of popcorn?

my friends hate me for it but I looove salty popcorn. I can't stand toffee because it's the only one my sister likes, so I got sick of it when we had to share during movie nights when we were younger. (same with ham and pineapple pizza)

15) who was the last person you sent a message to?

my dnd discord! love you guys 💜

16) ever go camping?

my dad lives in wales so yes. a lot. it's fun when it's not raining?

17) do you take vitamins?

no but I probably should

18) do you go to church on sundays?

nope, I've only ever been to church for christingle services with brownies/guides, and that was mostly for the orange with sweets on it

19) do you have a tan?

ahahahahah no, I look like a dying victorian child. last time I tanned, it was because I got sunburned at pride and I had tan lines around my glasses

20) do you prefer chinese food or pizza?

love me some chinese takeaway! (although spicy meat feast pizzas are also very good)

21) do you drink soda with a straw?

only at fast food places, although I usually get iced tea instead of something fizzy

22) what colour socks do you wear?

I have multiple pairs of this one kind of grey fluffy socks, that's like basically half my sock drawer. the rest are either black, or super brightly coloured

23) do you ever drive over the speed limit?

I can't drive yet so no. i was supposed to get lessons for my birthday in march but uhh. that couldn't happen for obvious reasons. i probably wouldn't though? because the speed limit is a Rule and breaking a Rule is Bad

24) what terrifies you?

going outside, phone calls, answering questions in class, windows at night ("because what if there's Something there?")... more like what doesn't terrify me? although honestly, I'm not scared by horror media, as long as it doesn't have any jumpscares

25) look to your left! what do you see?

my book collection! (specifically my regular sized paperbacks. I have a pretty weird organisation system? I split paperbacks and hardbacks, then sort by size, colour and alphabetically by title in that order)

26) what chore do you hate?

washing up. Wet Food Bad

27) what do you think of when you hear an australian accent?

australia I guess? idk, what else would i think of

28) what's your favourite soda?

probably apple tango? I don't really drink anything fizzy. except sparkling water because it's great fuck you

29) do you prefer going into fast food places or using the drive through?

none of my friends can drive yet either so going in

30) who was the last person you talked to?

my mum, she wanted me to come and look at the pond she made today

31) what's your favourite cut of beef?

I don't know?? I don't ask what cut it is when I have beef, I just eat it

32) what's the last song you listened to?

red signal by the mechanisms, because sometimes you just need a little bit of eldritch chanting to make everything okay

33) what's the last book you read?

stuff matters by mark miodownik! it's about material science and it's one of my favourite books

34) can you say the alphabet backwards?

lol no what kind of sorcery--

35) how do you like your coffee?

2 sugars and a bit of milk, but I prefer those sweet iced coffees you get at tesco. those were basically the only things getting me through sixth form until quarantine happened

36) what's your favourite pair of shoes?

ok I currently only have 2 pairs, my black and white trainers and a pair of heels that I haven't worn since new year 2019. so the trainers I guess

37) what time do you normally go to bed?

I usually go to bed around 10, but i stay up at least until midnight, usually closer to 2 am

38) what time do you normally wake up?

for school I wake up at 6:30 and get up at 7, because I physically can't get out of bed until I've snoozed my alarm at least 3 times. although at the moment,,,,,,,,,,,probably around 10:30? I set alarms to try and keep some kind of structure... and then sleep through them

39) do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

absolutely sunsets. I live about 10 mins away from the beach, so watching the sky change colour and the stars come out as the sun sets over the sea, with a mug of fruit tea warming my hands... fantastic

40) how many blankets are on your bed?

just one, but I have wayyy too many pillows

41) describe your dinner plates

my parents just get plain black or white sets from ikea or wherever

42) what's your favourite alcoholic beverage?

I Am A Minor And I Have Never Drunk Alcohol I Don't Even Know What Alcohol Is Ha Ha Ha

43) do you play cards?

no, although I used to play solitaire A Lot because it was one of the only games I had on my shitty purple ipod

44) what colour is your car?

train coloured (I don't have a car yet)

45) can you change a tire?

nope

46) what's your favourite province?

I'm english what does this mean

47) what's your favourite job you've had?

I've only really had 3 jobs: I answered the phone when my parents ran a takeaway from home, I work in their cafe every now and again doing washing up or sometimes waitressing, and I used to have a paper round. I Do Not like any of them, but the second is probably my favourite

48) what's the biggest scar you've got?

a surgery scar from my appendectomy 6 years ago,,,,,,,,,,,,I thought it was just really bad food poisoning for maybe an entire week

49) how have you made someone happy today?

I hope I made my friends happy? I really enjoy talking to all of you in our discord server, y'all make me smile so much and I hope I can return the favour

i tag @johnathansims @spookyhetero and @two-am-art if y'all want to get involved

noir at high noon: twelve snippets in a life

susan’s POV. a little snippet of post-canon, among other things.

4. I knew Angel Eyes was trouble. That's why I went to find him.

You'd think it'd cost me something: money, self-respect, time at least. Enough to make my search sound difficult, when the truth is it took me two days and no trouble at all to make the connection I needed. Why not?

By then, I'd already lost the only thing that ever made my life worth a damn.

1. "Some day, I'll steal a car so fast it'll make you puke when I drive it."

My brother, aged six and a half. Even back then Charlie was already a handful, running wild in the streets, snatching wallets and peeking up skirts. He never did get any better.

I loved him, but I knew better than to dote. If he'd died on his own terms, bit through by exotic fish and drowning in tidal surf, or crashing over a cliff with a harem of screaming blondes, I could have taken any kind of crazy exit. It was his life to lose.

But my husband cheated him of that bright and burning death, gave him a two-bit piece of nothing in a back alley; and I wasn't going to stand for that.

5. "You're not one of the regulars here," Angel Eyes said to me, puffing smoke from his pipe like Alice's caterpillar. "I'd know you if you were. Which one did you bribe for that apron?"

"Cindy. She thanked me for it, she says she was glad for a day to look after her sick kid."

"She should have told me. I'd have arranged help." His dark eyes bored into mine, more remorselessly than any bullet; that would have brought relief and he wasn't going to promise any. "If it's a job, you take that up with Rose. I don't do house calls."

"I don't want you to kill my husband."

"No?"

"I want you to teach me how to do it." I took the knife out of the pink ruffled pocket. Charlie's knife, still encrusted with his own blood from when they'd given it to me. "So I can do it myself."

"...open the blade, stab, keep stabbing until either you're dead or he is. Easy enough if you don't care about getting caught."

"I want to know how to do it right."

Ask Angel Eyes, why that impressed him.

I'm content enough that it did.

2. "Listen," my sister said. "You need to learn this, if you're going to catch a husband some day."

Charlie and me and Daphne. All caught in each other's webs, all hating each other for the traps we lived by. "I won't be like you. I'll never be."

"You think putting on airs will bring you anything but misery? Shut up and listen."

Every afternoon for years, she drilled me until I could have run that bakery better than she did herself. How you bake pies, doughnuts, cakes, every kind of fat that ever broke a man's heart. Don't ever overcook a flan. Use a light hand with the salt, a little goes a long way.

She'd fought her way to a kind of stalemate with life after mother dropped off the map, flirted hard and married young. Looks like mine, smarts like mine, and she'd settled for a man who wanted nothing more out of life than his slippers and a newspaper.

If my husband had nothing else to recommend him, at least he had a hell of a lot more nerve.

5. "Hmm. So you did show up."

The second time we met at that diner, not the first; Angel Eyes told me to go home and think hard before I saw him again. I think he knew already that I'd never second-guess myself; but the man takes pride in his small courtesies. Frees him up for the grosser breaches, I suppose, he's far from the only one who believes in that. My husband for instance.

"As you can see." Not thank you, not, I'm so grateful. Not until he gave me something worth a pleasantry.

"End of shift, I imagine you're hungry. I ordered enough for two," Angel Eyes said. Pushed over a bowl heaped with piping hot chili, my favourite. He hadn't wasted any time checking up on me, to be sure. "We can eat and talk business."

"Fine." I crumbled in dry crackers, picked up my spoon.

"Stop."

Anyone else, they'd have grabbed my hand, seized my wrist, restrained me. All he did was steal my spoon.

Dipped it in the chili. Out came the expected redness, tomatoes and beans, violated by a blue speck that had no business being in there at all.

"This is what you're going to have to think about constantly, if you take this on. No movement anyone makes towards you will be safe. Ever again."

"Trust me, that's my life already." Not in the shape of pills, but expecting an undercover cop behind every stranger's face, listening to sirens and thinking they were coming for me. My bargain with the devil hadn't brought me enough pleasure for the pain. I wanted some of my own back.  

He put the capsule on his own plate, burst it open with the tip of his knife. Took a bite of mushroom and steak and blue liquid, while I watched.

"Nothing more than food colouring. That's the second thing you're to know-- if I teach you; I'm never going to hurt you unless you expect it. You'll learn to face unexpected violence on your own terms, then you'll understand it." He handed back the spoon.

It wasn't what I was asking for. It was what I needed; and I had the sense to recognise that much.

"...so I'm to trust no one except possibly you?"

"Put in those terms, that's the same contract I was given."

"Agreed." I took my long-awaited bite. "You know, though, I might have spat it out anyway. This chili's not nearly as good as anything I could make."

"Remind me to bore you with my soup recipes sometime," Angel Eyes said, with all of an enthusiast's sincerely idiotic pleasure.

Looking back, he was going off-script right from the start.

7. "I suppose he's training you up, the same way he did me," I said to Manco.

He had a hideous way of biting into oranges, tearing away the rind with his teeth. Not an appealing habit for a man who cared so much how he looked and sounded. I'd never seen such concern for appearance before, paired to indifference such as that.

"Maybe not so much," Manco said, dropping peel into the trash. "I'll tell you honestly, Susan, it's- let's say I stumbled into this ass over tea kettle. I'm not good enough for it. I'll get myself killed if I push my luck any further."

"Why tell me? Angel Eyes is the one who ought to know."

"He's got more going for him than any man I've ever met," Manco said, shoving his face into the orange. Messy as hell. "I might be more afraid of disappointing him than dying, I don't even know."

Which is what I told Angel Eyes, when Manco up and fled on us the first time.

Seemed to help a little.

8. "Why can't you call him Angel Eyes like everybody else?"

"I do sometimes," Tuco said, yanking his feet up on the kitchen stool. Pulled himself close, arms wrapped around his knees, that's a dirty habit. Means more cleanup for me afterwards. "Didn't he say you were from Mexico City?"

"I was partly brought up there, yes." There and a lot of other places, but Mexico had been better than some; scant dollars had stretched a little further that side of the border. "What's that to do with it?"

"Then you should know about nicknames, it happens a lot. Something you do to people you-"

he stopped himself then, with a gulp. "Sorry. Sorry. I know you don't like me."

"You're fickle. I thought you were partnered with Blondie, why didn't you run off with him?"

"Maybe he thought I loved Angel too much to come along. I don't know I like it either, Susan, I'm scared. I miss Blondie. It feels like everything's spinning out of control."

"...look, why are you even in my kitchen?"

"That was a nice chili you made for lunch, only it was way too hot for me to eat and I'm starving, can I please have something else?"

All in a rush, like his hunger was what mattered here; when the thing he'd just completely passed over, taking it for granted, was that he could talk about love for Angel Eyes like it was an assured and settled thing. For an assassin. For the worst man I'd ever met, in terms of pounds of flesh and lives taken.

I knew my reasons for being there. He didn't seem to have a single one for staying in our house of death; and yet he was anyway, sunshine and Spanish and all.

So I fixed him up with a plate of warmed-over lasagna and retired to ponder, what the hell kind of universe spawned innocents like that.

9. "You'll be back, Angel Eyes."

"Not this time, I don't think." He ran the cleaner through his pipe, one last smoke before bed. One last smoke before he left, in short. "If nothing else, it'd be a shame to waste the effort. I haven't prepared my death in so much detail to pop back to life any time soon."

"But a priory? You'll be pacing the walls inside of six weeks."

"I'm doing that regardless, Susan." Pipe clean, he put it back on the stand; frowned at it reluctantly. "Suppose I'd better leave that. Rose will know damned well I faked it, if my favourite pipe goes missing the same time I do."

"I'll keep it as a souvenir. If it's safe enough, I'll see about sending it to you later."

"You're very practical, Susan," he said. Nearly grateful. "All these years, I've talked and you've listened. Listened better than I ever did."

"I won't ever make half the assassin you are."

"Maybe you'll be something better- I don't know, Susan. Alma taught me how to live, but those two have given me something to live for. Sentimental bastards- for the life of me," Angel Eyes said, picking up his hat. "I could not tell you whether I hope you'll find the same one day, or that you'll never get within fifty miles of this kind of hope."

"I had that and decided it wasn't worth it, remember? You'd better be sure about these two."

"Enough to take the risk."

"Good luck. But I'm not selling the house, all the same."

6. This is the last thing my husband said to me. "Honey, what's for dessert?"

I let him have the first spoonful of berry crumble, piping hot and perfect. Then he died.

That's all there is to say about that.

10. The hacienda was very quiet after that.

I shut it up. Stayed in my own place, the small apartment I'd paid for with my first year's wages. The kitchen wasn't so much, and the oven unreliable, but it sufficed; I had more important notions in mind.

My husband taken care of, I turned my attention to the system that'd let him flourish. Rose had kept a tight grip on his empire for years, but with Baker in jail, with his best assassin off the radar, there were signs of slippage. 

He was on the lookout for traitors, of course, informers and whistleblowers. G-Men. Any kind of man who might want to seize what he had, and turn it to account for money or repute or a drive for justice.

What he wasn't looking for was me.

Just wanting to burn it all down. 

11. Next time I saw Angel Eyes, it was another restaurant. Wrong side of the border, the chili still wasn't any good, and I didn't bother to ask who was picking up the check.

One of the boyfriends was slumped against his shoulder, the other was swigging orange juice like vodka. Angel Eyes spread his hands wide.

"I think you should know. I was always far more of a disaster than I let on."

"Uh huh," I said, not batting an eye as I reloaded the gun. "It figures, you hopeful maniac. These two treated you all right?"

"No. Yes. It's a bit past that point, Susan," Angel Eyes said, his face lined with exhaustion and pleasure. "I'm in love. The rest doesn't matter."

Like I said, he went off-script. Anything might have happened to the trio after that night.

(Even if I did know, I'm not telling you.)

3. “You’re pretty.”

“Sure.”

“You cook well?”

“Sure.”

“Ever dream of being a mobster’s moll?”

That’s all my husband had to say, to net me. I’m not sorry.

12. I still don't have anything that makes my life worth a damn. Not like Angel.

That's okay, though.

Before I'm done with Rose, a whole lot of other people are gonna feel just like me...

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RobStar Week Day 2

After heeding to the suggestion of my good pen pal @lightdusk96, I’ve decided to get a head start with this other prompt before my work week begins. Enjoy!

  The little Tamaranean girl had let loose a very prideful roar as her starbolts had charged and created an aura around her. Mar’i, dressed in an orange and blue martial arts gi with a white-black symbol of the family on her back, had officially charged up her power level. Her brother, wearing a blue and white space warrior like armor with goofy shoulder pads and a red plastic apparatus on his left eye, had a ‘panicked’ looked on his face, with his good friend Lian asking next to him, “Jake, what’s Mar’i’s power level?”

“IT”S OVER 9000!!!!!” Jake yells as he takes the plastic device, the ‘Scouter’ he calls it, off his eye and almost crushes it. He would have had it not been for hearing a distinct chuckle coming from the kitchen.

“Alright you guys, you might wanna save your energy for the Con. Your Uncle Gar isn’t going to get that ice cream from if your too exhausted you know.” A twenty seven year old Dick Grayson says as he walks in with red denim overalls, brown worker boots, a blue long shirt underneath said overalls and a red cap with a D surrounded with a white circle.   

“Okay Daddy!” Both Mar’i and Jake chirp happily in native Romani while their friend Lian gives a stern salute she had learned courtesy of Roy in order to match the little SPARTAN II armor she was wearing (who knew ZCube 720 games had appeal to 10 year old girl as much as college fratboys). 

“Ah, ah. English you two” Dick quickly corrected his two kids.

“Oh husband,” a distinct female voice emerging from the bathroom called out in a sing song tone “My preparations are complete now”

Kori had walked out of the bathroom with a old school hot pink ball dress with a jewel studded crown and two blue earings,

“Mama, when we get to the Con thingy, can Aunt Tara and Uncle Gar get us on the front stage for the Dragon Ball show, pwease?” little Jake asked, tugging his mother’s dress with puppy dog eyes he learned from his big sis.

Kori gave a small chuckle before picking him up “Perhaps we shall son, but not before we make sure our friend Lian here is safe with her own daddy yes?”

“Yep! Daddy said he’ll be there after he gets Granpa Ollie's chili ready!” Lian chirps as well, bubbling with so much energy she can’t keep it by herself....like right now

“Hey Mar’i! Wanna race to the Boom Tubes?” Lian asks excitedly 

Both Mar’i and Jake pick that challenge up and ask “Can we please?” 

Honestly the only other way you could’ve said no to their faces is as if you were asking for a Starbolt in the booty and Kori and Dick certainly couldn’t let their kids, their Starshines, down. 

“Okay then, just make sure you watch your steps. You don’t wanna ruin your Siyen (SIA-YEN) costumes...”

The two kids bursted out laughing, “it’s SAIYANS silly!” 

With that all three began their little derby to the Boom Tubes of the Tower, leaving both Kori and Dick by themselves to walk to said Tubes.

“Well now, I suppose this Convention shall our destination from here yes?”

Dicks nods in reply “Yeah Chakano, I guess.”

Kori wonders about her current costume she wears at the moment, “Richard I am most curious”

“What is it Star?”

“Well from what I have read within the description of the character who wears their dress, this Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, she is constantly within a state of peril via kidnapping at the hands of the monster you’re character constantly defeats. Has this, Peach, ever had done the reverse within the games of video she and the other characters originate from?” 

Dick takes a brief minute to search through his Nintendo memories before finding an example and formulating an appropriate answer, “Actually, yeah Peach had saved Mario in a few occasions and she ends up the hero. I guess the main reason why she’s the one usually getting kidnapped in the games is because...the gamers have just gotten used to it.”

“Oh I see. It is of a grand tradition then. Now such I can respect given on the fact back home at Tamaran we have stories of brave heroes rescuing a member of the royal family from evil doers.” Princess Kori of Toadstool can conclude. Though she does add, “still I believe it would be of a greater story potential if the plumber who rescues this Princess was indeed the one more often than not in need of rescuing. Especially given of his rather...humorous appearance. “ Kori chuckles at the end.

“Hey now Star, not all Italian plumbers from Brooklyn are that fat. Although I do know that Peach can float in the air easier than Mario or even Luigi can. I wonder what Beast Boy thinks about this...”

“MAMA, DADDY, WE’RE READY!!!” Dick stops his sentence as that yell from Mar’i echoes from the Boom Tube station they had just reached.

Kori reaches her hand into one of her pockets as she and her husband know that more or less, the time had come to load into the Tubes that'll transport everyone to the Bludhaven Comic Convention.  “Shall we head to our destination my plumber of a husband?”

Dick grins happily as he kindly takes the one prop Kori takes out with her hand, his black/brown mustache, puts said mustache on his face right underneath his nose and, in his best Italian accent says with joy,

“Let’s a-go!” 

Dedicated to  @lightdusk96​ @fireflyxrebel @wisegirlandseaweedbrainforever @nightglider124 @tarisilmarwen @robxstar

TAGGED BY:  I honestly cannot remember anymore i’ve had this for months TAGGING:  Anyone who wants to do this thing

THERE IS A BLANK VERSION AT THE BOTTOM

NAME: Gordon Jay Mikaelson NICKNAME(S): Gor by a lot of people; Donnie by his mom AGE: 21 SPECIES: Human

PERSONAL. MORALITY: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true RELIGIOUS BELIEF: Catholic on paper but in practice he’s agnostic leaning towards atheistic SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: At this point, survive his mental illness, but full overarching LANGUAGES KNOWN: English, Italian SECRETS: SAVVIES:

PHYSICAL. BUILD: scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average HEIGHT: 5′11 1/2″ WEIGHT: 175 lbs SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: Scars on wrist ABILITIES/POWERS: Guitar, Singing, Sculpting, Painting, Dancing RESTRICTIONS: Crippling self-doubt and depression, anxiety

FAVOURITES. FOOD: Baked Ziti PIZZA TOPPING: Mushrooms   COLOUR: Lilac MUSIC GENRE: Mellow Pop BOOK GENRE: His name is Jared, 19 MOVIE GENRE: Crime Thriller SEASON: Winter CURSE WORD: F*ck SCENT(S): Lavendar

FUN STUFF. BOTTOM OR TOP: Verse, Bottom preference SINGS IN THE SHOWER: Strictly Nirvana LIKES BAD PUNS: Sometimes

NAME: Ryan Anthony Schultz NICKNAME(S): Little Boy Blue; Rye AGE: 19 SPECIES:Human

PERSONAL. MORALITY: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true RELIGIOUS BELIEF: He’s Atheistic SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: To thrive in his lifetime and get his mother away from her husband LANGUAGES KNOWN: English, French SECRETS: He used to be a prostitute, used to be a stripper, was heavily abused by his stepfather, blames himself for the death of his first boyfriend SAVVIES: He’s weirdly well traveled for  his background

PHYSICAL. BUILD: scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average HEIGHT: 5′6″ WEIGHT: 110 lbs SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: heavily scarred ABILITIES/POWERS: picks up very easily on new information RESTRICTIONS: extremely self conscious

FAVOURITES. FOOD: Gingersnaps PIZZA TOPPING: Pepperoni COLOUR: Orange MUSIC GENRE: He’s not sure BOOK GENRE: He doesn’t read MOVIE GENRE: he barely knows what movies are, he’s always amazed SEASON: Autumn CURSE WORD: Merde, French for Damn it/Shit or other such exclamations SCENT(S): Tea and cookies

FUN STUFF. BOTTOM OR TOP: Bottom SINGS IN THE SHOWER: He hums tunes but no singing LIKES BAD PUNS: He loves them

NAME: Xavier Dragov NICKNAME(S): Xav AGE: over 1200, physically 18 SPECIES: Vampire

PERSONAL. MORALITY: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true RELIGIOUS BELIEF: Atheist SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: N/A LANGUAGES KNOWN: English, Russian, Indo-European, Latin, Italian, Spanish, French, Chinese SECRETS: He’s a vampire, and he’s killed hundreds of people over the years SAVVIES: He’s personally responsible for the death of a tyrant

PHYSICAL. BUILD: scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average HEIGHT: 5′9″ WEIGHT: 165 lbs SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: Scar on his neck  ABILITIES/POWERS: Teleportation, Super-Strength, Transformation, Light Compulsion, Vague Telekinesis (can only move really small things like marbles) RESTRICTIONS: None of his powers work in the daylight, garlic burns but more like an allergic reaction, also religious iconography  have the same effect as daylight

FAVOURITES. FOOD: Members of the clergy PIZZA TOPPING: Salami COLOUR: Red MUSIC GENRE: Garage Punk BOOK GENRE: Mystery MOVIE GENRE: Horror Suspense SEASON: Winter CURSE WORD: сука (pronounced suka [means bitch]) SCENT(S): Iron, rust, and other metallic, bloody smells

FUN STUFF. BOTTOM OR TOP: Top SINGS IN THE SHOWER: Yes LIKES BAD PUNS: He pretends to like them to get to people, but doesn’t care about them

NAME: Paul Emanuel Davis NICKNAME(S): Polly AGE: 19 SPECIES: Human

PERSONAL. MORALITY: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true RELIGIOUS BELIEF: Baptist SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: Write a New York Times best seller LANGUAGES KNOWN: English SECRETS: He’s closeted SAVVIES: He’s gotten published in Brevity

PHYSICAL. BUILD: scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average HEIGHT: 5′9" WEIGHT: 176 lbs SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: A birthmark in the shape of Florida on his right pec ABILITIES/POWERS: Can type 85 words a minute RESTRICTIONS: Suffers from writer’s block frequently

FAVOURITES. FOOD: Chicken Caesar Salad PIZZA TOPPING: Chicken and Spinach COLOUR: Pastel Pink MUSIC GENRE: Lofi Pop BOOK GENRE: He likes to read Epistolary novels, like Diary of Anne Frank for structure, but for content he likes Mystery for it’s short chapters and engaging prose MOVIE GENRE: Biopics SEASON: Spring CURSE WORD: Damn SCENT(S): Paper and Fresh Ink

FUN STUFF. BOTTOM OR TOP: Bottom SINGS IN THE SHOWER:  Yes LIKES BAD PUNS: Secretly loves them

NAME: Jessie August LeFleur NICKNAME(S): Auggie AGE: 18 SPECIES: Human

PERSONAL. MORALITY: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true RELIGIOUS BELIEF: Agnostic SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: Find a way to balance the lives both his parents have prepared him for LANGUAGES KNOWN: English, French, Japanese SECRETS: He’s not interested in being in charge of either of his parents’ companies SAVVIES: He really likes his mother’s designs and frequently makes his own

PHYSICAL. BUILD: scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average HEIGHT: 5′6″ WEIGHT: 115 lbs SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: Freckles ABILITIES/POWERS: Really good at drafting, both tech designs and fashion designs RESTRICTIONS: He thinks he doesn’t have what it takes to make it in his parents’ industries

FAVOURITES. FOOD: Duck A L'orange PIZZA TOPPING: Supreme COLOUR: Alabaster MUSIC GENRE: Bubblegum Pop BOOK GENRE: Romance MOVIE GENRE: Romcoms SEASON: Spring CURSE WORD: Fuck SCENT(S): Rose

FUN STUFF. BOTTOM OR TOP: Bottom SINGS IN THE SHOWER: Yes, usually San Cisco, occasionally Coure de Pirate LIKES BAD PUNS: yea

NAME: Michael Kearney NICKNAME(S): Mike AGE: over 180 SPECIES: Vampire

PERSONAL. MORALITY: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true RELIGIOUS BELIEF: Irish Catholic SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: Redeem himself in the eyes of his religion LANGUAGES KNOWN: Irish Gaelic, English SECRETS: He’s not out as a vampire; he still keeps tabs on his lost family SAVVIES: He’s Irish and he loves to make friends with strangers

PHYSICAL. BUILD: scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average HEIGHT: 5′11″ WEIGHT: 180 lbs SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: Mark on his neck ABILITIES/POWERS: Mild Compulsion, Light telekinesis (stronger than Xavier but not a showoff), Transformation (weaker than Xavier, total showoff), Super Strength RESTRICTIONS: None of his powers work in the daylight, garlic burns but more like an allergic reaction, also religious iconography  have the same effect as daylight

FAVOURITES. FOOD: He likes strong workmen, buff working women, and dancers PIZZA TOPPING: Green Peppers and Red Peppers COLOUR: Green MUSIC GENRE: Jazz BOOK GENRE: Classics MOVIE GENRE: Thriller SEASON: Summer CURSE WORD: Ceanncac (shithead) SCENT(S): Clover

FUN STUFF. BOTTOM OR TOP: Vers-Top SINGS IN THE SHOWER: Very loudly  LIKES BAD PUNS: Loves them

NAME: Juan Guttierez NICKNAME(S): Juanito (by his aunt Elena) Dumbass (by his aunt Elena) AGE: 23 SPECIES: Human

PERSONAL. MORALITY: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true RELIGIOUS BELIEF: Catholic SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: He wants to get better (in theory) LANGUAGES KNOWN: English, Spanish SECRETS: His suicide attempt is not widely known SAVVIES: He’s kind of a party animal

PHYSICAL. BUILD: scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average HEIGHT: 5′10″ WEIGHT: 165 lbs SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: A birthmark on his inner thigh in the shape of a cherry (stemless) ABILITIES/POWERS: Can instantly liven up a party RESTRICTIONS: Sometimes he takes things too far, like jokes

FAVOURITES. FOOD: Mozzarella Sticks PIZZA TOPPING: Sausage COLOUR: Purple MUSIC GENRE: EDM BOOK GENRE: Comic MOVIE GENRE: Superhero SEASON: Summer CURSE WORD: Fuck SCENT(S): The smell of a crowded room  full of hormonal college kids; Warm vanilla

FUN STUFF. BOTTOM OR TOP: Depends on the guy SINGS IN THE SHOWER: Yes LIKES BAD PUNS: Loves them

NAME: Elder Eastman NICKNAME(S): Double E (Gymnastics team), L-ien (by Ella Triq), Alien Avenger AGE: 18 SPECIES: Extra-Terrestrial, lineage from a planet in the Hourglass Nebula

PERSONAL. MORALITY: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true RELIGIOUS BELIEF: Agnostic SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: To protect his family and his city; go to the Olympics LANGUAGES KNOWN: English, Beginner’s Spanish SECRETS: He’s a vigilante protecting the town SAVVIES: He’s an active gymnast

PHYSICAL. BUILD: scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average HEIGHT: 5′8″ WEIGHT: 125 lbs SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: He has a scar on his side above his hip from a knifing ABILITIES/POWERS: Appearance modulation (only between his alien and normal selves and various in-between states), Energy manipulation and generation, Hyper Flexibility and agility, elastic skin RESTRICTIONS: Rubber stops him dead in his tracks, dehydrates quickly, needs constant electrolytes

FAVOURITES. FOOD: Pizza PIZZA TOPPING: Anchovy COLOUR: Green MUSIC GENRE: Synthwave BOOK GENRE: Sci-Fi MOVIE GENRE: Sci-Fi SEASON: Autumn CURSE WORD: He doesn’t curse SCENT(S): Cinnamon

FUN STUFF. BOTTOM OR TOP: Vers-Bottom SINGS IN THE SHOWER: Yes LIKES BAD PUNS: Guilty Pleasure

BLANK VERSION

NAME: NICKNAME(S): AGE: SPECIES:

PERSONAL. MORALITY: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true RELIGIOUS BELIEF: SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: LANGUAGES KNOWN: SECRETS: SAVVIES:

PHYSICAL. BUILD: scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average HEIGHT: WEIGHT: SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: ABILITIES/POWERS: RESTRICTIONS:

FAVOURITES. FOOD: PIZZA TOPPING: COLOUR: MUSIC GENRE: BOOK GENRE: MOVIE GENRE: SEASON: CURSE WORD: SCENT(S):

FUN STUFF. BOTTOM OR TOP: SINGS IN THE SHOWER: LIKES BAD PUNS:

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By Roxanne Reid The stories of Africa’s trees are also tales of its people and animals, from Herman Charles Bosman’s withaak to Rudyard Kipling’s Limpopo fever tree. Think baobabs that are 6 000 years old or marula trees long believed to have elephants stumbling away drunk. In these 10 stories about trees in Africa let’s root out the fables, facts and fictions about some remarkable African trees.

​1. Baobab bar The Sunland baobab in Limpopo is one of the world’s widest; about 30 people could join hands around its trunk. Radio carbon dating suggests parts of it are more than 1700 years old. Old baobabs become hollow and in 1993 Doug and Heather van Heerden, who own the farm where it stands, cleared out the compost build-up in the hollow. They discovered Bushman artefacts and tools that Voortrekkers used to fix their ox wagons. They turned the hollow space into a pub complete with door, railway sleeper bar and draft beer. ‘We’ve had 60 people inside the pub at once,’ says Heather, ‘but a big branch broke so now it’s open plan.’ In April 2017 another part of the trunk collapsed, though the oldest wood is still standing. ‘We’re hoping the broken trunk will start to grow again.’ Where: Sunland Farm, Modjadjiskloof, Limpopo. Sadly, as of May 2019 it is no longer open to the public. Factfile: Baobabs flower on spring nights and bats pollinate them.

2. Circles in a forest If you visit the indigenous Knysna forests on South Africa’s Garden Route you’ll understand what inspired Dalene Matthee’s book Circles in a Forest. Ahead of his time, her character Saul Barnard worries about the forest’s survival and the exploitative greed of timber merchants. Matthee died in 2005 and her ashes were scattered at a monument near an 880-year-old Outeniqua yellowwood. The tree towers above the canopy and Saul would be pleased to know it is now protected as a Champion Tree, which may not be damaged in any way. Walk one of the ‘Circles in a Forest’ trails nearby to immerse yourself in the forest atmosphere. Where: Krisjan se Nek picnic site, Goudveld Forest, Knysna. Factfile: Outeniqua yellowwood is South Africa’s tallest species, reaching up to 60m. In the past, the trees were used for ship’s masts. 3. Wonder tree The Wonderboom is a 1000-year-old giant wild fig. Over time its branches drooped to the ground and took root to form a circle of 13 daughter trunks – something not typical of the species. Voortrekkers rested under it in the 1830s. In her 1882 book In the Land of Misfortune Lady Florence Dixie noted that more than 22 ox-wagons and hundreds of people could shelter under it. The mother tree suffered some damage in the early 1900s when people dug holes looking for the Kruger millions. Today its crown is the largest of any South African tree – about half the length of a rugby field. It has been declared a Champion Tree in a Department of Agriculture, Forestry & Fisheries project that protects notable trees. Where: Wonderboom Nature Reserve, Pretoria. Factfile: Local legend claims it’s so huge because a tribal chief is buried under it. The summer fruits turn yellowish-pink when ripe. 4. Safe house poplar A skinny Lombardy poplar outside the safe house belonging to Ruth Fischer Rice was a beacon of hope for people on the run during apartheid. Ruth’s father, activist Bram Fischer, led the legal team that defended Nelson Mandela and his co-defendants during the 1963/4 Rivonia Trial. Although the prosecution wanted the death penalty, the team secured a sentence of life in prison. This changed the course of history, allowing Mandela to become South Africa’s first democratically elected president in 1994. ‘The people who stayed with us were mainly young men and a few young women referred to us by people we knew,’ Ruth remembers. ‘Some stayed for several months. There was surveillance but we were never raided. A storm-water drain ran from our street to the neighbouring [Johannesburg] Country Club, through which our son could lead anyone who needed to escape.’  ​Where: Corner of Lothbury and Fawley avenues, Auckland Park, Johannesburg. Factfile: The poplar tree is a fast-growing alien that sends out suckers – even from the stump after it is cut down.

5. Spring glory Zimbabwe’s musasa trees (also known as igonde, msasa and mutsatsa) drop their leaves in winter. Then, for just three weeks each September, the new leaves create a blaze of colour before they turn green for summer. ‘They are a variety of tones from palest blush to burnt orange and burgundy, with gold and reds in between,’ says artist Lin Barrie, who completed a series of paintings inspired by this spring colour. ‘Musasas were part of my early bush experiences, with branches to climb on, colour to marvel at and carpets of flowers and mushrooms beneath. My father was a keen walker and birder and as a child I often went with him on excursions to the musasas. They were the backdrop for birds like spotted creepers, owls and pennant-winged nightjars.’ Lin’s oils and acrylics of natural scenes are in collections around the world. Where: Mukuvisi Woodlands in Harare, Zimbabwe, in September. You can see permanent displays of Lin Barrie’s art at her studio in Borrowdale Brooke Estate, Harare, or at the Cape Gallery in Church Street, Cape Town. Factfile: The orange caterpillars of the musasa moth appear in masses in March to feed on the trees. 6. The lion fig ‘Just north of Busanga Bush Camp in Zambia’s Kafue National Park lies an enormous sycamore fig tree on elevated ground,’ says safari guide Isaac Kalio. ‘The local tree-climbing Busanga lion pride likes to rest in the horizontal branches, so although it’s a beautiful picnic spot you first have to check who’s there! It produces four fruit crops a year that attract many animals. Tiny wasps breed inside the fruit and are in charge of pollination. The sycamore fig has been incorporated into Zambian teaching about HIV/AIDS because just as you can’t tell by looking at the outside of the fruit if it contains insects, you can’t tell by looking at someone’s face if they are HIV positive.’ Sad news is that this particular sycamore fig tree at Busanga fell in April 2019. Where: 500m north of Busanga Bush Camp, Kafue National Park, Zambia. Factfile: The genus is 60 million years old and the sycamore fig was mentioned in the bible.

7. Symbols and stamps The quiver tree is Namibia’s national tree and a symbol of the south, where it grows in rocky areas of desert and semi-desert. It got its name in the 17th century when Dutch Cape colony governor Simon van der Stel learnt that the San hollowed out its tube-like branches to make quivers to stash their poisoned arrows during the hunt. The trunks of dead quiver trees were also used as natural fridges to store water and meat because the fibrous tissue has a cooling effect as air passes through it. A member of the aloe family, it is protected in Namibia. It featured on Namibian postage stamps five times between 1961 and 2010 and appears on the Namibian 50c coin. Quiver trees were declared endangered by the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN) in 2010. Where: Quiver tree forest 14km northeast of Keetmanshoop, Namibia. Factfile: The quiver tree can live 100-200 years but only starts flowering at 20-30 years and has bright yellow flowers in winter. It is well adapted to hot, dry climates but coming under increasing threat from climate change.

‘Yes, there on the grass, in the shade of the withaak, the leopard and I lay down together. The leopard lay half curled up, like a dog, and whenever I tried to move away, he grunted. I am sure that in the whole history of the Groot Marico there have never been two stranger companions engaged in the thankless task of looking for strayed cattle.’ Herman Charles Bosman, In the Withaak’s Shade ​

8. Oom Schalk’s tree When Herman Charles Bosman’s character, Oom Schalk Lourens, lay down to rest in the shade of a withaak (white thorn) tree while supposedly looking for lost cattle, he imagined the tip of his boot was a hill called Abjaterskop. Before long a leopard appeared on the hill and started sniffing his feet. Its breath swept over his face in hot gasps as he lay paralysed with fear. Then the leopard turned and lay down next to him half curled up like a dog. Bosman’s deceptively simple satire brings alive the scenes and characters of the hardcore bushveld and mampoer country of the Groot Marico. Sadly, this story from Mafeking Road ends with a red splash on the leopard’s breast from a Mauser bullet. Where: North of Groot-Marico town, North West. Visit the Bosman literary festival each October at the Bosman Living Museum in Groot-Marico, a replica of the school where Bosman taught in the 1920s. Factfile: The long thorns are whitish or bluish in colour, giving rise to the dual names of withaak (Afrikaans for white thorn) and blue thorn/blouhaak. White spiky flowers appear from August to October.

9. The manhood tree The most noticeable thing about the sausage tree is its sausage-shaped fruit, which can grow as long as your arm and weigh up to 10kg. ‘In some parts of Africa, people use the fruits to enlarge their manhood,’ says safari guide Livingstone Sana. ‘With the instruction of a traditional healer, a boy climbs up the tree and chooses a young fruit. He cuts a round hole in it to mark his size then leaves the fruit to grow. When it gets to the right size he climbs the tree again and cuts the fruit down without touching it so that it doesn’t continue growing too big.’ Where: Just north of Little Makolololo Camp, Hwange National Park, Zimbabwe. Factfile: The flowers, which open at night, have an unpleasant smell that attracts bats to pollinate them. 10. The tree of life The marula is called the tree of life for its many uses from food to medicine. ‘It’s a photographer’s best friend in summer when leopards climb it for shade,’ says Londolozi ranger Alistair Smith. ‘The growth structure provides comfortable platforms for them to rest. Other animals almost guaranteed to be near a summer-fruiting marula are elephants. Once they’ve eaten the fruit off the ground they often shake the tree so more crashes down.’ He adds, ‘Male and female parts are on different trees so Shangaan people believe a pregnant woman who wants a daughter should drink tea made from the bark of a female tree; for a son, she drinks tea made from the male tree.’ Where: Londolozi in the Sabi Sands Game Reserve, Mpumalanga. Factfile: The green African moon moth breeds on the tree. The fruit is made into beer and the ever-popular Amarula liqueur. That the fruit makes elephants drunk is a myth. Note: This article first appeared in British Airways’ High Life magazine with wonderful watercolour illustrations by Hazel Buchan. Like it? Pin this image!

You may also enjoy Magical treehouse in the Baviaanskloof Voices of Botswana: the tree man of Ngoma Copyright © Roxanne Reid - No words or photographs on this site may be used without permission from roxannereid.co.za

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