#and they were actually kaladin's friends
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The argument that Moash was the only one in Bridge Four that didn't see Kaladin as some kind of deity or hero really falls apart once you get to the Bridge Four POV chapters in Oathbringer. They're like "yeah, Kaladin is great, but sometimes he can be an idiot, you know" and things of the sort.
Meanwhile, in Oathbringer and Rhythm of War Moash's POVs actually show that he paints Kaladin as this perfect man and soldier.
#i will keep believing that moash was never truely kaladin's friend#the energy that the people on this website put into loving moash#should instead go into loving rock or teft or lopen or sigzil#at least they actually deserve it#and they were actually kaladin's friends#stormlight archive#brandon sanderson#kaladin stormblessed#moash#oathbringer#rhythm of war spoilers#rhythm of war
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like uh. i wanna ruin our friendship. we should be lovers instead.
#outgoing transmission#half of me (adolin time) agreeing w the 'kadolin better as friends' thing but only bc its like its so. uh. i actually#dont wanna ruin our friendship. haha unless? no but rly. also disagree heavily w those ppl and posit if sanderson were better#at writing interpersonal relationships itd b different but anyway#<- like half the ppl saying this shipping ka/moash bc of the tension. yeah um#sorry to say i think you just like stakes and not settled relationships and are yearning for a more emotionally centered writer. js. haha.#this got out of hand. ish. anyway. i want kaladin. that feels um weird to say. i want kal. i love and need kaladin like a sun. or whatever.#insert cue for maya to make fun of me.#^^ loving
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im a big poster and enjoyer of "kaladin do weed" posts but do NOT let that man touch a bong. or maybe do maybe it would be cathartic
#my friend let me try his bong on saturday and all of us had been drinking before that and so being my first time I didn't know you arent#supposed to hold it that long and our combined reaction times were too slow to stop me#and I got so so so so soooooo high#i was sobbing in their bathroom about their cat can you imagine kaladin who has actual issues?????#firemossposting
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The Most Annoying Things About Living on Roshar
Notice that I said annoying. I’m not talking about real problems like, uh, slavery and war crimes and a broken social system and etc etc. I’m talking about things that I think would just kinda be annoying about living in Stormlight Archive.
1. You can’t tell little white lies about how you’re feeling.
Thanks to those pesky emotion spren always showing how you’re REALLY feeling! As illustrated here: https://www.tumblr.com/taravangians-storming-balls/716486386153291776/me-if-i-lived-on-roshar
2. If you’re Alethi or Alethi-influenced, you have to be religious to get food variety.
Are you a woman? Sweet food only! Are you a man? Spicy/savory food only! Want the food of a gender not your own? Looks like you need to join the church!
Like...what?
3. Nothing is fluffy.
Outside of Shinovar, everything on Roshar is a crab. Crab-dogs, crab-cows, crab-bugs, crab-crabs, you get it. Which is great if you’re an animal who wants to be protected from the constantly dangerous weather, but bad if you’re a human who, like me, wants to pet things that are fluffy. I just feel like petting an axehound isn’t quite the same.
4. If you’re an Alethi woman with naturally hot hands, life sucks.
Now, I wouldn’t understand this myself, since I have icy hands forever, but some women have hands that naturally run hot. And yet those same women must, if they’re Alethi or Alethi-influenced, keep one hand covered at all times. That must be torture for Lady Hot Hands.
5. If you’re an Alethi man, you can’t kick back with a nice book.
At least prior to Dalinar, Alethi men could never just, like, chill out with a lovely book...at least, not without joining the church. And just because many men didn’t realize their loss does not make it any less sad.
6. “We’ve gotta get you a spren.”
Adolin is like the last main character to not have a spren. And I remember when someone said something like “We gotta get you a spren!” to Adolin in the same “jovial” tones as people keep saying, “You need a girlfriend!” to Kaladin. And that’s a lot of pressure. I think it would be annoying, especially to people who just don���t want to join the Radiants thank you very much.
7. You can’t share funny undertext with your guy friends.
If I were reading a book aloud to one of my guy friends and there was a funny undertext, I would be legitimately bummed that I was forbidden to share it with him due to a seemingly worldwide ladies agreement to hide the existence of the undertext from men. But, like, what if it was really funny?
8. The anxiety of constantly leaking Stormlight.
Gems constantly leak Stormlight, and they can only be renewed during storms. People are fairly casual about this in the books, but man, that would make me SO anxious, especially during the Weeping when apparently it’s just expected that all gems will just sort of run out. Like, in my actual life, if there’s a power outage, I’m there huddled like a little ferret nervously checking my phone battery every few seconds, watching the battery percentage tick slowly down and fretting about how I can’t recharge it until the power comes back on but who KNOWS when that will be.
...Okay, so maybe this one is just me.
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Which book should I read next?
Inspired by @ckerouac - I picked out one book from each of my eight bookshelves** - one that I haven't read and that's been on my TBR list for a while. I'm letting you guys decide which one to read! Let me know what you think! And I'll read the one you pick next....
**- one of the bookshelves is dedicated to Young Reader books, and sitting on top of it are a couple of books that my bother loaned me, so I've included that instead of an actual YR title.
Info about the books under the cut
From the Fiction/Classics bookshelf: Less by Andrew Sean Greer
You are a failed novelist about to turn fifty. A wedding invitation arrives in the mail: your boyfriend of the past nine years now engaged to someone else. You can’t say yes--it would all be too awkward--and you can’t say no--it would look like defeat. On your desk are a series of half-baked literary invitations you’ve received from around the world. How do you arrange to skip town? You accept them all.
From the Graphic Novels bookshelf: Sandman by Neil Gaiman (Vol. 1)
In PRELUDES & NOCTURNES, an occultist attempting to capture Death to bargain for eternal life traps her younger brother Dream instead. After his 70 year imprisonment and eventual escape, Dream, also known as Morpheus, goes on a quest for his lost objects of power. On his arduous journey, Morpheus encounters Lucifer, John Constantine, and an all-powerful madman.
From the Sci-fi/Fantasy bookshelf: The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson
It has been centuries since the fall of the ten consecrated orders known as the Knights Radiant, but their Shardblades and Shardplate remain: mystical swords and suits of armor that transform ordinary men into near-invincible warriors. Men trade kingdoms for Shardblades. Wars were fought for them, and won by them. One such war rages on a ruined landscape called the Shattered Plains. There, Kaladin, who traded his medical apprenticeship for a spear to protect his little brother, has been reduced to slavery. In a war that makes no sense, where ten armies fight separately against a single foe, he struggles to save his men and to fathom the leaders who consider them expendable.
From the Mystery bookshelf: The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman
In a peaceful retirement village, four unlikely friends meet up once a week to investigate unsolved murders. But when a brutal killing takes place on their very doorstep, the Thursday Murder Club find themselves in the middle of their first live case. Elizabeth, Joyce, Ibrahim and Ron might be pushing eighty but they still have a few tricks up their sleeves. Can our unorthodox but brilliant gang catch the killer before it's too late?
From the Non-Fiction bookshelf: The Great Green Room by Amy Gary
The extraordinary life of the woman behind the beloved children’s classics Goodnight Moon and The Runaway Bunny comes alive in this fascinating biography of Margaret Wise Brown. Margaret’s books have sold millions of copies all over the world, but few people know that she was at the center of a children’s book publishing revolution. Her whimsy and imagination fueled a steady stream of stories, book ideas, songs, and poems and she was renowned for her prolific writing and business savvy, as well as her stunning beauty and endless thirst for adventure.
From the Agatha Christie bookshelf: The Science of Murder by Carla Valentine
Agatha Christie is the bestselling novelist of all time, and nearly every story she ever wrote involves one―or, more commonly, several―dead bodies. And the cause of death, the motives behind violent crimes, the clues that inevitably are left behind, and the people who put the pieces together to solve the mystery invite the reader to analyze the evidence and race to find the answer before the detective does. Nearly every step of the way, Christie outlines the nuts and bolts of early 20th-century crime detection, relying on physical evidence to tell the real story behind the facades humans erect to escape detection.
From the Young Adult bookshelf: Scythe by Neal Shusterman
A world with no hunger, no disease, no war, no misery. Humanity has conquered all those things, and has even conquered death. Now scythes are the only ones who can end life—and they are commanded to do so, in order to keep the size of the population under control. Citra and Rowan are chosen to apprentice to a scythe—a role that neither wants. These teens must master the “art” of taking life, knowing that the consequence of failure could mean losing their own.
From (on top of the) Young Readers bookshelf: What If It's Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera
Arthur is only in New York for the summer, but if Broadway has taught him anything, it’s that the universe can deliver a showstopping romance when you least expect it. Ben thinks the universe needs to mind its business. If the universe had his back, he wouldn’t be on his way to the post office carrying a box of his ex-boyfriend’s things. But when Arthur and Ben meet-cute at the post office, what exactly does the universe have in store for them?
#books#i actually do want to read all of these so it's win win for me#this is fun RB I should try it once a month or something#i'm going to keep reblogging this until you all vote...
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also @havenfable I totally agree that Hoid would probably like Marsh!
I've always felt like he'd have a similar dynamic with Marsh that he does with people like Kaladin and Renarin where he WOULD 100% poke fun at him, but not in a way meant to be hurtful. Honestly, Marsh getting his own Hoid therapy sesh is high on my Cosmere wishlist, like there's a guy who could stand to hear "the dog and the dragon," you know? 😭 I have Many Thoughts on how Marsh may not have been able to heal his fucked-up eye socket for basically the same reason Kaladin couldn't heal his Shash brand. The injury itself comes from a specific traumatic experience, but he may have internalized it as something he deserved, because to him it's a signifier of what he sees as a shameful failure on his part: not being able to stop Ruin from forcing him to hurt and kill people in general, and his friends specifically. And he still feels guilty for that failure, no matter how irrational it is. Kaladin's real scar isn't the slave brands, it's being labeled as "dangerous" and taking it to heart; Marsh's isn't from getting hit by his friend, it's that his friend told him he didn't have a soul anymore, and Marsh is afraid he was right.
(Sometimes Kaladin does feel like Branderson's apology to Marsh stans, like, "ok fine the clinically depressed, self-righteous older brother is actually kind of the main protagonist in this one, happy now?" And of course we aren't happy, we've never been happy people, but we're in a better place now than we were in the past okay I will see myself out)
#marsh#mistborn#hoid#cosmere#mistborn era 1 spoilers#stormlight archive spoilers#cosmere junk box#mistborn era 1
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Words of Radiance - Brandon Sanderson (Stormlight Archives #2)
5/5 - delicious tension and character interactions; everybody grows; i forgot how absolutely awful Shallan's backstory is, poor girl
Spoilers below!
I love that in each of these novels, Sanderson is dedicated to discussing what holding to your choices and your oaths actually means. What does it mean for a character to promise two people contradictory things? What does it mean for someone to live a lie? How does someone come to terms with their traumatic past, even knowing that they were choosing from a series of bad options? I cannot express how much I love a thinking novel! And not in the sense of "Is killing people wrong? You decide" because frankly that's tired.
Anyway, I really appreciate how much depth that Shallan has in this novel. Explaining her backstory turns her from a character who can be somewhat annoying at times with a dark past, into someone who's actively trying to make the world a brighter place for her own sanity. It also reveals a hardness, an edge to her that is certainly present in WoK, but nowhere near as pronounced. One of the things that my sister and I have remarked on while reading Sanderson's books is that, while his romances are sometimes a little weird (not you Shallan/Adolin, never you), his female characters are almost always superbly written. Shallan is allowed to be competent and feminine while still being annoying and a disaster and too ready to insult people at all times.
Kaladin's arc is one that is incredibly near and dear to my heart, and while I love him and think he can do know wrong (yes, even in the times when he is very much doing wrong), I just love seeing everyone else think he's insufferable and annoying and mouthy! He's a little bitch and I love him for that! They put him in prison, made him depressed and willing to commit regicide, and then he turned around and said (to Elhokar's face), "Let's be clear on this Elhokar, I hate you and you're a bad king and not a great person and also a whiny brat (the tirade continues for a while) but I'll protect you anyway." That's character-of-all-time behavior.
I also adore the way that Adolin/Kaladin and Shallan/Kaladin develop a working relationship over the course of this book. They go from reluctant coworkers into best worsties into actual friends.
#also kal worrying about liking shallan#meanwhile shallan and adolin are already planning to ask him to be their third like#their dynamic is ridiculous. it's charmed me#also x2 lift mention!!! missed my girl#also x3 i know i never mention Syl but trust that i am thinking about her and her little mist dresses and her quips#words of radiance#brandon sanderson#book review#fantasy#high fantasy#cosmere#stormlight archive#kaladin stormblessed#adolin kholin#shallan davar
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It's your fault I have the Sigzil brain rot, so I'm sending you a list of (small, happy) Kalazil/Sigkal things.
After becoming Captain and the Kholins' bodyguard, Kaladin had access to a mirror for the first time in who knows how long. He spent a long while looking at it, trying to see 'a leader's face' in his own like Sigzil had said.
Kaladin is the one person Sigzil really tries to be a WorldSinger for. The others ask and press for stories, but Kaladin is the only one Sigzil gives them openly and freely too.
Kaladin loves it when he gets spanreed messages from Sigzil because he knows it's actually him writing and reading it on the other side
On the flip side, Sigzil hates using a spanreed to talk to Kaladin because he's aware that there must be someone else reading and writing for Kaladin and he just hates the idea of that for some reason
When Lyn broke up with Kaladin, Sigzil was the first to know, because he was on his way to talk to Kaladin when it happened. He actually heard the whole thing. His being there when Lyn opened the door is part of the reason she felt so okay leaving Kaladin in the state he was in (which wasn't great to start and was worse after she broke the news to him). She knew that next to Teft or Rock, he was the best person who could be there.
You know I was going to defend Adolin's honor and then I remembered that while Adolin is almost always absolutely fantastic for Kal's low points, he is also the Married Friend. And you don't want your Married Friend to walk in .2 seconds after you got dumped. Sigzil at least can distract and sooth much easier. But yeah. Sigzil feeling some kind of way about writing to Kaladin. Different than the feeling he has about writing for Kaladin, or reading. Trying so hard to be a worldsinger for him. Mishim you iconic cringefail of a story. Storms. Kaladin trying to see the leader's face in the mirror, Sigzil trying to see the scholar Kaladin thinks the exams were too foolish to recognize....
#see sigzil can go 'I'll try to be a story teller for you' and kaladin can go 'you really don't have to. like at all.'#just as Kaladin is always going 'id die for you' and Sigzil and everyone else goes 'please god do not'#fifteen chapters into secret project four and yeah. i could use this thanks#got too much grading to read more even when I'm not at work ugggghhhhh#pocket talks to people#im a ramblr#my sister
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My brain when I like a character from any piece of media: but what if they were ponies.
Here are a few stormlight archive characters I drew as my little ponies! I don’t know if anyone seeing this is going to be familiar with both stormlight and mlpfim but trust me all my designs are so clever and accurate. I will explain some of my thoughts below a cut, as well as giving them equestrian names. Spoiler warning for stormlight archive.
Jasnah has a star-shaped gemstone for a cutie mark because her talent is magic. She specialises in transfiguration and teleportation, and is a pony historian. She’s got lots of jewellery because in the books Shallan is always talking about her hair ornaments, make-up, and elegant clothing. She’s also a princess! This is the pony equivalent of a queen. She was born as a unicorn but will at some point grow wings and become an alicorn. I’m going to be lazy and say her pony name is Elsecaller.
Adolin is a pegasus because he’s a confident warrior type. He still duels but I also think he does jousting because ever since rainbow dash and fluttershy jousted in the season 3 premiere I was kind of obsessed. Horseback sports but it’s just a horse holding their own lance. That’s hilarious. Anyway his pony name would be Golden Blade or Bright Blade or something like that.
Lift is a pegasus because she’s fast and always sneaking into places she doesn’t belong. Her colours are like a tree to reflect her plant powers. Her cutie mark is a green lightning thing because she’s full of lifelight (green) and always on the go. She would still be called Lift. Or maybe Lift-up or Lift-off.
Kaladin is an earth pony and Sylphrena is his breezy best friend (breezies are a species of tiny fairy ponies). I’m not sure how to make him magic - maybe he turns into an alicorn sometimes like sunny in g5? Or maybe Syl is an ancient spirit that grants him alicorn magic. I’m thinking of changing his cutie mark so that the ribbons on the spear are more glowy and magical-looking, because it’s kind of boring right now. Ideas for his pony name: Stormblessed, Stormy Heart, Stormlight Glow, Windrunner, Stormy Skies, etc. I actually thought about making him a unicorn, because he’s distinct and regal and didn’t fit in with the other kids, but I think this story works better if he’s an earth pony that acts like a princess. Plus his personality/skill set is more suited to an earth pony.
Shallan is a unicorn and uses her magic to make light weavings (illusions). Her talent is art and her cutie mark is two brush strokes making a heart on a red ink splatter (extremely subtle symbolism). The clasp on her satchel is Pattern, who is a magical amulet that talks to her. Pattern was initially drawn to her powerful unicorn magic but now his job is to reign her in and help her use magic in a normal, healthy way.
Renarin is a unicorn because he’s magical and really smart. He has healing powers and can see the future. I drew him performing dark magic (the purple and green smoke coming out of his horn) to represent his ‘corrupted’ magic. His cutie mark is an eye because he is a Truthwatcher (red in honour of Glys - his spren) and has a purple splotch behind to represent that he’s the ‘blackness’ that interferes with Odium’s ability. I think his pony name would be a mash up of words without real meaning, just like in the book. Like Renstone Mist or something like that.
#stormlight archive#my little pony#my art#I also have been thinking about putting the mane 6 into roshar but that may be even more niche than this
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Since you're limiting I will only send two: an au where Adolin gets to stab more people who deserve it
1 - At some point, between his father seemingly losing his mind, Sadeas being Sadeas and his tailor retiring, Adolin's brain says "ENOUGH! KNIFE TIME!" and every time someone starts to get stupid around him, he stabs them. Elhokar wants to arrest him but an ardent (or whatever is the English name for priest on Roshar) tells him that during the time of the first king, heroes were blessed with the Stormfather in knowing who to stab, and how this is actually a good thing, and how in any case, no one will manage to wrestle that knife from Adolin anyway. It's actually bullshit because the ardent is tired of the corruption in this country and wants to see what a privileged boy with a knife will do about it.
2 - Sadly, he doesn't manage to get to Sadeas but when Kalinar starts to say stupid things like "I trust Sadeas with my life.", Adolin stabs his father in the shoulder. Then, on the battlefield, he stabs Venli, saving my girl Eshonai.
3 - Then, during the very epic duel and when Kaladin says "Hey, I want to kick Amaram's ass!" and Elhokar throws a fit, Adolin throws his knife from the other side of the arena and it stabs Elhokar's foot.
4 - Adolin calmly asks Amaram why he didn't help him while four people were trying to kill him. Amaram starts saying a good excuse and screams because Adolin's just stabbed him. Kaladin, who is dangerously close from liking this lighteye, says what Amaram did to him. Everyone goes "That's impossible! He's lying!" and Amaram is "Of course I didn't do AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH-" because Adolin now has stabbed him through the chest. No more Amaram. Adolin and Kaladin are now best friends.
5 - After stabbing Sadeas, Adolin puts down the knife and says that he will try to calm down with the stabbing. Renarin immediately picks up the knife, a mad glint in his eyes.
+ 1 - For the entire AU, the Blackthorn is running after his sons and asking them to please, not stab people. Many people are convinced is the rosharian equivalent to karma.
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Casualties of Round one. There are slight spoilers here so be wary.
Cosmere Sexyman
Despite Lightsong doing nothing to deserve it; he somehow managed to defeat Hobo god, Vasher. (Ok maybe Lightsong did a thing or two)
He may be a Herald, but Jezrian was no match for Dalinar Kholin and his nice ass
Sadly, Dockson is out. Maybe we can blame it on Kelsiers charisma (because we all know that he wouldn’t have as many followers if he wasn’t hot)
Maybe it was his abilities to see the future or maybe it’s not that, but Renarin was able to quite easily secure his spot on the board and defeat Rayse.
Sure Wayne might have a thing for hats, but Elend has an all white outfit and likes to read. He made his way to the top taking Mistborn era 2’s chances of having a sexyman with them. It’s ok. There are the ladies.
Just because he’s Mostly Unchained, doesn’t make Moash any less sexy as determined by him beating Nale the herald with the interesting crescent moon shaped scar.
Zellions pure unfuckable energy was just too much for his lover, Szeth son-son-Vallano with the white vans.
Again I do apologize for this, but Raoden is out. But actually him and Adolin are now friends because I say so.
These heralds don’t stand a chance. Especially Ishar against Kaladin “asexual but everyone wants them.” Stormblessed. His raw energy radiating off of the simp list led Kaladin to be the pure winner.
Sure back in the day Gavilar might’ve been hot but he’s also a shitty person and is quite untrustworthy. Surprise, surprise Mraize with his mysterious energy has overcome the former king of Alekthar
It was quite a battle out on bridge four. Old man or (not so) one armed Herdazian. By a small margin, thanks to his cousins, The Lopen was able to move on to the next round. Sorry Teft.
Maybe it’s because Susebron is the god king and therefore magically sexy or maybe it’s because Mistborn era 2 isn’t peoples favorites, but Allik has been pushed off the metaphorical blimp.
Both of them suck, yes, but fun fact! Amaram sucks less than Sadeas becuase Sadeas did not sweep. Tragic, I know.
Taravangian and his unstable mental capacity was not able to handle the heat of Sazed and his two shards. Maybe he just had a dumb day.
The duel of the H’s was not much of a duel and Hoid quickly came to the top over Hrathen. Hoids vibes are better than Hrathen, and I think that put him over the top.
Axies the collector successfully annoyed Lezian the pursuer off of the leaderboard by asking him too many questions about spren. Lezian tried to kill him, but it didn’t work. So he just left to try and pursue others or something.
Cosmere sexyladies
Blushweaver and her very horny energy (don’t deny it. We all read Warbreaker that was a very sexually charged book) outbid Paloma and her great vibes.
Venli and Timbres pulsing were absolutely no match for Jasnah and her beauty and poise and big boobs
Shallan Davar and her art skills were no match for Vivenna and her vibes. Shallan spent too much time sketching to actually pay attention to the sexywoman contest.
As we know, Spy Milfs are absolutely zero match for science Milfs. Therefore ilali got absolutely demolished by Navani.
Lalai is a scribe on Roshar. Meanwhile Vin is an allomancer and her raw talent has made it easy to get past Lalai.
Despite her sister’s vibes and raw energy, Siri has failed to get past Marasi “girl with a gun” Colms.
MeLann has absolute powerful vibes. Since they’re both Kandra, they can take any form they want. However Lessie also went insane and MeLann has not. Therefore MeLann swept the polls
Steris accounts for everything that can possibly happen. She didn’t account for Evi Kholin being a great mother, however. Despite that, Steris has the greatest vibes. Evi sadly has been burned with a small margin of a loss.
Allrienne is too much of a girly girl for Sarenes tall girl fencing energy. Therefore the Sarene sweep had been captivated.
Shan Elariel is a great example of a secretive girlie who has impeccable spy skills. However the living vibes of Cultivation were too much for her spying to handle.
The fused fistfight is the kind that can be fought by icons. Raboniel and Leshwi are both icons. However Lewshi’s heavenly ones vibes are no match for Raboniels science milf energy.
Rysn and Shai are both underrated queens and deserve any and all love. However Shai is no match for the Dawnshard that Rysn holds with in her.
Silence Montane is a dangerous woman, and Cord is an equally dangerous woman, however she cannot live up with her girlfriends Dawnshardic ability.
Aesudan and her crystal monster magical girl transformation is not able to stand up to her relatives loving mother vibes and Hesina swept Aesudan.
Herald vs Shard. Edgli is the shard on Nalthis and her calm, comforting voice isn’t at all able to handle Shalash’s absolute powerful heraldic energy and loses.
Eshonai isn’t as much of a scholar as Khriss and her total scholarly vibes made it difficult to fight. Even with her shardblade, she still cannot fight Khriss’s scholarly skills and Eshonai has lost.
#this is stupid#but here we fucking are#cosmere#brandon sanderson#cosmere sexywoman bracket#cosmere sexyman bracket#long post
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In a D&D campaign once, (Strixhaven if you were wondering), I was playing my wood elf ranger, Hawthorn. He was not a very friendly person and didn't really get along very well with anyone. The only person he ever really tolerated was the owlin monk Goro. This was because Goro was the only person who understood that Hawthorn had been through a lot of trauma, as Goro himself had also been through a lot (there was an interaction similar to the Shallan and Kaladin trench thing but much less so.)
At one point there was a talent show going on and Goro and Hawthorn were in the stands wathcing. Then a prop of a chimera and an owlbear were suddenly animated. The rest of the party (which wasn't actually the full rest of the party, not everyone was actually there) started fighting the owlbear, but after Hawthorn shot the chimera from the stands, it flew right at him.
Goro and Hawthorn were both nearly killed by fire breath multiple times, with both reaching 0 hitponts. The first time, we were healed by another party member who had some kind of long ranged healing spell. The second time, only Hawthorn went down and Goro used his last healing potion to bring him back up to 3 hitpoints.
It was at this point that for some reason I decided Hawthorn would jump on top of the chimera.
My goal was simple: disable its fire breath so we would have a better chance of taking it out.
Of course the chimera was having none of that so it flew up into the sky. Somehow Hawthorn managed to pass repeated strength checks to stay on and made attack rolls against the dragon head's throat. After two attempts he was almost knocked off and was barely holding on underneath the chimera. He pulled out his simple orc tusk knife (important to his story) and rammed it into a gap in the scales just as he started to fall, tearing a hole into the throat of the dragon head, letting flames burst out. With only one health left, Hawthorn accepted his death and started to fall.
During all this, Goro (who had never flown before) launched himself into the sky to help out Hawthorn. As Hawthorn's nearly unconscious body fell towards Goro, he reached out and tried to catch him.
Goro passed the strength check and barely managed to hold both of them in the air for a while, as the chimera crashed to the ground rightunder them. Then, as Goro's strength gave out, they started to fall out of the sky together. Hawthorn landed on the now prone and crippled chimera (he had managed to slash its wings, hence the falling off) and stabbed it. It threw him off. Then Goro came in, pulling out a sword they hadn't used in years, and killed the chimera. Goro became Hawthorn's first friend in a very long time.
After that, Goro got a Cloak of Protection and Hawthorn got a new bow (I think it was magic?). Most of the party hadn't been there for that, so when they showed up they were faced with Goro in a new shiny cloak talking to Hawthorn, who was actually showing an emotion other than annoyance for once and had his hood down. They had no idea what was going on and our explanation did not help.
It was the coolest D&D session ever.
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Stormlight Archives (or Mistborn? I forget which Sanderson’s you’ve mentioned reading…)
Whichever numbers you like :)
I've read both! Mistborn was a while back though.
Favorite character: Kaladin; also a big fan of Navani and Dalinar because I'm a sucker for both "profoundly competent and witty yet empathetic older woman" and "penitent older man who really went through it in his youth but is trying to be a better person"
Least Favorite character: Elkohar. Can't stand a king who sucks when everyone around him is actually fucking competent.
5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): not really much of a shipper for this one BUT I think Mr. Brandon Sanderson should loosen up and make Adolin/Shallan/Kaladin a thing. Also Dalinar/Navani.
Character I find most attractive: Jasnah.
Character I would marry: Rock. Really, this is a Fuck/Marry/Kill question and it's kill Elkohar, fuck Jasnah, marry Rock. (yes, people reading this who have not read the Stormlight Archives, and why would you, they are doorstoppers, there is a character named Rock and he is GREAT)
Character I would be best friends with: Navani is my adoptive aunt now, I adopted her. I would have gotten along with Shallan if these books had been around when I was younger but I am like oh you are baby.
An unpopular opinion: truly no idea what the fandom is up to. I am fascinated by people in fandoms for books this fucking dense. I can be the way I am in the CR fandom because there is a transcript search and I have a good memory for which episode to check if not which exact moment but like, for here? if I am trying to find a particular moment? guess I'll die.
Most Badass Character: Dalinar and Kaladin. I see a man whose greatest enemy is himself and I go YES
Most Epic Villain: is he exactly a villain, no, but Taravangian. Also fun fact I could not recall his name and I did google "guy who is sometimes stupid and sometimes smart stormlight archives" and it got me the right answer.
Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): not screwed up but like...I feel I should feel more sympathy for Venli and not just be like Team Humans, but unfortunately the human characters are more interesting to me so even while I understand the conflict and the players I'm just like...Venli's extremism isn't sympathetic the way some of the Alethkari were to me.
Character I most identify with: Kaladin. look. if there's a paladin-esque character (and yeah kids it is that on the nose here) in a story I'm just going to go to them like a homing pigeon).
Character I wish I could be: oh absolutely none of them, like, I like to read high fantasy and be like "thank fuck that's not me"
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I’m rereading the Stormlight Archive, and I have thoughts (tm). So, like, Stormlight spoilers ahead.
Kaladin very much has an “us vs. them” mindset. He has to - it’s the only way he can justify to himself simultaneously trying to care and protect to beyond a healthy degree and also succeed as a soldier. I think he was trying to develop it even as a kid, but it got solidified - possibly even put into words, iirc - when he joined the army.
The times in the books where he has the hardest time, breaks down the most, is when something about his situation is contradictory to this mindset. His suicide attempt while on the bridge crew was, in large part, because he had no definable “us.” He’s hurt deeply by betrayals by Amaram and Moash because he thought they were part of his “us.” When he independently makes friends with two separate groups, who later start killing each other, he has a breakdown.
As the series progresses, it becomes very clear that the humans vs. listeners is not a fight of good vs. evil. They have a common, much more dangerous enemy (which may, in and of itself not be able to be called good or evil, exactly) So, both for the sake of the world and for his own mental health, Kaladin is going to have to deal with his idea that “destroying ‘them’ is okay, as long as I’m doing it to protect ‘us’”
In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if that ends up being the theme of his Fifth Ideal.
Somewhat unrelated, I’m trying to remember the order of events from pretty late in the series (I’m only partly through book 2 of my rereading). If I remember right, one of the reveals in Stormlight Four about the mythology of the humans being kicked out of the Tranquiline Halls and having to come to Roshar. That story* is rooted in the fact that surgebinders went too far with their forces-of-nature-altering powers and made another planet in the Roshar system - previously the humans’ homeworld - uninhabitable thousands of years ago. Later still, I believe, we learn that the Recreance was a collective decision by (presumably much later? I’m not sure about the timeline) surgebinders and their spren to give up their powers. We still don’t know whether those two events were related, but I would guess they are.
What I can’t remember is: does Kaladin know any of this? I don’t remember where the first event was explained, but I think it was to Shallan**. I know the second was discovered by Shallan and Adolin, and I’m pretty sure that they hadn’t returned from Shadesmar by the end of the book. Kaladin hasn’t talked to them in weeks, if not months. It’s possible that he’s very much out of the loop on the “big reveals about history” side of things. I don’t blame him. He’s been busy.
But if he doesn’t know...I wonder how react to learning about it? I could see that not necessarily going well.
*sidenote: rereading is so much fun, especially in cosmere books, where you can be sure that the first things you learn about religion and mythology tends to be twisted or metaphorical versions of things you’ll learn the truth about later in the story. So far, I have seen references to the Three Gods, the Passions, and the Unmade, long before any of them have anything to do with the main story.
**possibly in the context of revealing (to me, anyway) that the Tranquiline Halls and Damnation were actually other planets in this same star system. I was completely shocked by this revelation. Shallan takes in in stride. Did she...already know that? Was that supposed to be common knowledge? Because they were previously, as far as I could tell, used interchangeably with “heaven” and “hell” and I would not expect that to mean “physical locations that you could conceivably get to without even leaving the Physical Realm.” I thought they were going to be Spiritual Realm-level places.
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A Very Important Tier List of How Good Cosmere Names Would Be in Scrabble
If you were allowed to use fictional proper names in Scrabble, then how good would it be to use various Cosmere names? This is obviously an important question, which I shall answer today using a tier list, from worst to best.
[If you're not familiar with Scrabble, it's a game where you get 7 letters and try to make words on the gameboard. Each letter has an assigned score from 0 to 10. You get all the points of all the letters in your word, plus you get to double count any letters used in multiple words.]
So let's get to the tier-list!
F-Tier: Names That Are (Virtually) Too Long for Scrabble
Some Cosmere names do not work well at all by virtue of being, well, basically impossible to use in Scrabble. "Jadendwyl" (Sazed's friend) is 9 letters, for example, so unless you got very lucky with someone else playing "end" in exactly the right spot, you're pretty much out of luck. You only have 7 letters to work with, after all. Other names in this same category include: "Hamaradin," "Peaceyearning," "Harkaylain." Just too long!
E-Tier: Short, Low-Scoring Names
The second worst would be names that are short and use letters that are just one point each. "Lirin"? Only 5 points. "Siri"? Only 4 points. Moash's grandma "Ana"? Only 3 points.
You're only playing these if you're desperate, or if you've trying to, like, play off of someone else's Z or something.
D-Tier: Longer but Still Low-Scoring Names
"Adolin" may look like a nice, long word--but it's only 6 letters, and only the "D" is worth more than one. You're plunking down that bad boy and getting like 7 points for your trouble. Same issue with other 6-letter names like "Oroden." They're just not very good.
C-Tier: At Least One Letter Is Pretty Good
Playing "Shallan" would be pretty good, 'cause that "H" is four points AND pretty easy to get double-counted. Same goes for "Hoid" or "Hav" or "Hrathen." "Y" is also worth 4 and easy to double, so "Yalb" or "Ym" are your friends too. "Wayne" has two four-point letters, W and Y, so that's pretty good--"Leshwi" too. "Kelsier" has the 5-point K, but there aren't any two-letter words with K, so oddly he's probably slightly worse "Hoid" would be.
...I hope I haven't started something here.
B-Tier: Contains one of the GREAT Letters
If you can get a "Q" or a "Z" in your word, then that's a cool 10 points right there--at least 20 if you can get them going both ways. So "Zane" or "Szeth" or "Azure" or "Breeze" or "Lezian" are great options. "X" and "J" are 8 points and easy to play both ways, so "Wax" and "Jasnah" and "Demoux" are great too.
A-Tier: Seven-Letter Words
If you play a 7-letter word in Scrabble, then you get a bonus 50 points on top of whatever you score with the word! There are a lot of 7-letter names too. "Kaladin," of course, reaching the top as always. Also good are "Dalinar," "Renarin," "Pattern," "Elhokar," "OreSeur," "Aesudan"... There are actually tons of these!
S-Tier: Seven-Letter Words Containing one of the GREAT Letters
But you know what would be the best Scrabble word? We'd need a 7-letter name that also contains a Q or a Z. And there is one--one name that is by far the best Cosmere Scrabble play ever.
Zellion.
Is there anything he can't do?
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Alright friend, you asked for it lol
I even added a couple more in there <3 (obviously no pressure to answer all of them)
4,9,12,15,20,29,30,41,49,61,62,65,69,70,89,93,98
Oh and Here’s the link to the ask list, because I can never find it when people actually ask lol
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
- dead ass said: she is very sweet and clever but cries too much
*imagine a camera panning at me, crying over ripped paper envelope*
9. favorite smell in the summer?
- the air right after the storm
-gasoline
-an evening filled with cigarette smoke
12. name of your favorite playlist?
- God stood me up
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
- Cather in the rye. Honestly brought back my love for books.
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
- in my laptop, where I have one giant document
29. best way to bond with you?
- having at least one same interest as me and go insane over it
30. places that you find sacred?
- churches. graveyards. castles.
41. last person you texted?
- that boy, you know which one.
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
- none. It always changes.
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
- every single time I'm asked this question, my mind goes BLANK
- the first rn to come to my mind is: "Here is what they do not tell you about Death: when Death says "You were born for this", she clearly means "You will die for this."
- and also: You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering" by Hemingway
62. seven characters you relate to?
- Kaladin Stormblessed
- Number Five
-Diego Hargreeves
-Achilles
- Jude St. Francis
-Will Graham
- Henry Winter
(yes, I should be put into a straight jacket)
65. any permanent scars?
oh, buckle down
- one above my eyebrow from the time I had poxes
- under my chin, because once, while I was being carried unconscious they dropped me and I chipped my chin
-two on my left knee from falling off the bike
- heavy set (50+) of self-harm scars on my left forearm (or like from elbow to my wrist, up to the palm) [if you got to the part in Mistborn about Kelsier's scars, imagine that)
- another set of five self-harm scars on my right wrist and forearm
- idk what it's called, but when you bend your arm (where the elbow is), that crook, I have a zig-zag scar from the time I was a newborn baby and they had to cut my arm open and remove my vein from there because my blood was not going through it
70. left or right-handed?
- right-handed
89. who would you put before everyone else?
- My Patroclus.
93. nicknames?
- cockroach (because I've survived unsurvivable things)
- husband (I married one of my friends for fun, she is my wife and I'm her husband)
- jack sparrow (because once I got so drunk I walked like Jack)
- dumber (from the movie, dumb and dumber)
98. favorite historical era?
- English royal dynasties. The first world war.
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