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aonogifreactions · 4 years

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Also, I happened to be perusing your tag list for Mephy dearest and noticed you didn’t do before/during/after mating season headcanons for him, so if you’d be so kind when you have time? (And Amaimon too if he hasn’t been done cuz my stupid ass forgot to check him before requesting) thanks in advance~ ;) ❤️

hI HELLo and welcome! it is me! and im actually writing! *applause* i actually dont remember if ive done amaimon before, so i wrote about him too. no regrets. enjoy! :eyes:

Mephisto:

Before:

gets hella irritated by anything, doesn't talk much. is really grumpy, has weird cravings, pretty much feels like he’s pregnant.

is easily flustered, so you better not start a fight with him.

is brutally, and i mean, BRUTALLY honest with you and everyone else.

“Why did you buy me a banana milkshake? I wanted the strawberry one!” *cries on the floor* or *tosses the milkshake on the floor and leaves*

he can get really cold towards you, whether it’s your fault or someone else’s. will say some cryptic shit, might even expose your secrets, use you for his plans, but! he won’t kill ya, don’t worry. unless...?

he informs you a few days prior to his “grumpy days” to not be with him much. Mephy’s literally giving you a warning, and I advise you to listen to him, lmao.

During:

immediately calls you when his “grumpy days” are over, telling you how much he missed you. practically screams into his phone.

this quickly can get steamy, since he’s just.. to be blatant, horny. will start his famous dirty talk, hell, you can even get some dick pics to your collection.

expects you to be available all the time. like you’re taking a bath? poof! you’re in his office, cuz he needs you right there and right now.

gets uncharacteristically subby and very desperate during his mating season. his pathetic whines to touch him, to let him release all that thick cum.

speaking about cum, he cums a fucking ton. It's thick, kinda white-ish, and S W E E T, I kid you not!

God, don't even mention tail play. He's gonna cream his pants 3 times when you only just try to touch the tip of his tail.

When you're mean, however, pull his tail a little bit or keep rubbing it's tip. He'll moan as loud as he can, with a slight smirk on his face, tongue lolled out.

He does aheago face, no one can convince me otherwise.

Pops out of nowhere, stating: "Darling, I might need your help…", then slowly places your hand on his bulge.

Has no shame. Literally. He wants, and will grope you whenever he can. Especially your chest.

Is willing to use toys on him. He just wants that sweet release, no matter with what way he's going to achieve that.

giving him a blowjob might make him literally explode with confetti.

Feels a HUGE need to mark you, even more than before. You need to stop him though, sometimes he draws blood; during this time he usually gets lost in pleasure and kinda drifts away from reality. Just flick his forehead. Or smack him really hard.

After:

He,,, feels a bit "embarrassed". Every time he's after his mating season, just thinking bout his actions and that desperateness.. really makes him cringe.

Makes it up for you, apologizes for hurting you just in case; however, "you should've known what you signed up for, sweetheart."

is now his usual, annoying self; considers having you as dom from time to time.

Amaimon:

Before:

c l i n g y. all the damn time. will not let you go anywhere without him.

eats 2x more sweets than usual. I feel sorry for your bank account.

gets really talkative??? talks non-stop. this is so out of character he’s surprised himself.

does THE STUPIDEST things while possibly risking his host’s health. Ha, see that tall building? what would happen if you two jumped off of it-

W H I N E S.

During:

you better have health insurance just in case.

wants to fuck you anywhere it’s possible to. even in the air.

goes full-on demon mode, his pupils sharpen, his ears change, as well as the tail. his breathing gets louder as well.

gets a bit more aggressive; pulls you by the hand and literally rips your clothes off. he will fuck you whenever he wants to. you’re his fucktoy and there’s no other way but to accept it.

he snarls! right into your ear! :chill:

his “nails” change into claws that can dig into your skin quite painfully; be sure to remind him when he goes overboard!

despite being a literal killing machine, he doesn’t want to kill you, especially during intercourse. Which means! he actually knows when its a bit too much for you. It’s somewhere.. but it is!

loves pain! and unfortunately, you digging your pretty nails into his back isn’t enough. he’s satisfied when he’s all bloody, with bruises and small wounds (that will heal quickly, so don't worry.)

pulls your hair a lot, especially when you blow him.

marks you with his cum.. everywhere. in your mouth, on your chest, stomach, ass, or his favorite place - your gorgeous face.

will try to breed you. just imagining your tight pussy filled with his cum that’ll make your stomach all pretty and round is driving him crazy. (even though.. he doesn’t really like kids?)

in addition, he loves the sight of your mixed juices dripping out of you. that makes him even more aroused than before.

is capable of eating you out for HOURS. and I literally mean hours! his face gets all messy, your silk on every single part of his face.

After:

acts like nothing happened.

i could just end it here.

might feel a lil bad if he hurt you; this is when he shows that he’s capable of actual lovemaking. this is kinda his apology to you, since he’s awful with words.

#Ao no Exorcist #ao no exorcist imagine #blue exorcist #blue exorcist imagines #blue exorcist imagine #mephisto pheles #amaimon #Headcanon #oops

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splendidshinobi · 3 years

Text

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 26-30

been awhile since i’ve watched but.... another day, another emotional rollercoaster

episode 26: her reason

who’s her and what’s her reason

bother him ALLLLL you want maria ross...bother him all day long

he deserves it

INVOICE HAHAHAHAHA

dont yell at maria fuck off!!!!

GIRLY WHAT IS IZUMI DOING!!!!!!!!

i screamed i did

i love sig and izumi sm!!!!!!

omg ed and al’s faces

PANINYAAAAAAA

why does she have an automail arm whAT

i feel almost insulted for paninya’s dope weapon legs

oh wait ive seen this arm wrestling scene before lmao

go paninya goooo

i do not tolerate this mr dominic slander

OH NO DO NOT INSULT QUEEN WINRY’S WORK

sucks to suck!!!!

i do think winry may have just fallen in love

ed is such a simp though

JUMBO????? his name iS JUMBO??????

al’s mousy little what?

yikes yeah you know what winry id be pissed too

she felt so good about her work!!!

crush over

jk theyre soulmates

wow roy ur so smart

damn oh ok they kept paninya’s legs too

so she only has 1 biological limb wow

paninya is definitely a lesbian

we’ve all known that though i mean-----the camo pants

i saw paninya wearing army pants and flip flops, so i bought army pants and flip flops

oh my god winry you DEVIOUS BASTARD

i can see why people ship paninya and winry but im sorry im an edwin simp

young pinako is hot i get it dominic

OH MY GOD DEVIOUS

WINRY LMAO

GUN LEGS!

kill him?? pANINYA think about that before you shoot someone!!!

AWWWWWW ED!!!! “best automail in the world!!!!” IM CRYING

“hello sir” alphonse you sweet boy

sheska u good???

OPE HEY CURTISES

ed why are you sad

omg winry dont cry!!!!

hahahaha sig

THE BOYS’ FACES LMAO

episode 27: teacher

izumi time lets gooooooooooooo

the ominous music lolololol

THE WINDOW

WHERE IS ALPHONSE

RIGHT THERE

ED’S FUCKING FACE HAHAHAHA

grumman!!!!!

STEW TONIGHT FUCK YEAH

xerxes drop

edward you are being so foreboding

izumi queen of my life lets go girl!!!

umbrella king sig curtis!!!

ed you dumbass!!!!!

angry face boys

mom dad and the kids on the train!!!! makes me cry

awww win’s gonna miss the dudes

omg havoc plzzzz

why is he calling riza like she doesnt already know shes going too

do not leave my boy falman behind!!!

oh good ok

mason my dude!!!

“yes maam”

this is UNCOMFORTABLE

guys i simp for sig tbh

omg al scary boy

uh oh she SAWWWWWWW you!!!

aww i forgot about the dead cat goddamnit

not THE KITTY

ok but those baby kittens need some MELK

its all over for you two watch out

cant hide JACK SHIT from mama bear

yikes

she gonna kick your ass oof

hugs oh thats nice

episode 28: all is one, one is all

island timeeee

wait theyre on island time PART 2???? ok

the way sig’s HAND---- anyway

ok so creepy naked child??

im suspicious

clearly the boys didnt read my hero academia

or the three musketeers

al really got YEETED

yote?

oh the kid has clothes on. leaf clothes

i know dublith is in the “south” but is it really a tropical locale?

aww the bunny

“kill it”

owie hope you dont get rabies edward

the ost man so good for both series

al really said J’ACCUSE

they didnt know the masked man was mason the first time around? aight

im really having trouble typing and eating dumplings at the same time

might pause for a dumpling break

i made these in the microwave theyre pretty good

def not the best ive had but they were, ya know, microwaved

anyways sad al hours

YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS YOUR BROTHER????

it’s the circle of life simba

getting REAL philosophical rn

“dont call me small”

now we’re getting REAL scientific

im just imagining these idiots on shrooms rn

mannnnnnnnnnnn

WAIT IMAGINE LING YAO ON SHROOMS

wow what a yummy snake breakfast

izumi said 👁 👄 👁

izumi is so hot

that is the creepiest motherfucker i ever did see

ok im gonna go rinse this dish out be back in a min!!!

episode 29: the untainted child

i am the tainted adult

you SURE his parents are lookin?

i feel like izumi is being very loving towards this child

what happened to tough love bbygirl

im not saying shes not loving in her ways but shouldnt she by nature be a litttttleeee bit more sus of this kid???

dont tell me

this is sig and izumi’s “child”

theory pending

winry is such a protective lil egg

here’s whats cookin in my head

its sig and izumi’s child and ed’s arm and leg smooshed together into a homunculus...theory still pending but im definitely right

WHY DOES SIG SLEEP W HIS EYES OPEN SIR!!!!!!!

whole situation is a mess my dudes

what did u do kid?????

“i know ed lies sometimes”

l oh fucking l

who transmutes themselves with a bed though

not the move kid

OPE

of course winry slept through this whole thing

sheska and elicia and gracia. my heart.

did the colonel just LEAVE HER BEHIND? god what a dick

sheska WENT OFFFFFFFF!!!!!!

yes maam!!!!!!!

u tell that dumbass!!!!!!

why does envy have to sit like that

gon make me SIMP

embarrassing

*debby ryan hair tuck meme*

i love the way al sits

hes so dainty

what a gent

oh that lil kid was in the gate!!!!

how a homunculus is born? please tell me more

ARCHER....my sister was texting me about him when she asked how far i was. i googled him i saw his....bod....

yup

ARM AND LEG CONFIRMED

my brain waves are unparalleled

ED REALLY JUST YEETED WINRY AND KABEDONED THE HOMUNCULUS

EDWARD STOPPPPPPPPPPPPP OMG

off goes the kid

BIDOOOOOOOOOOO <3

why is she upset??? what did you realize izumi

that its your baby??? probs

im just that smart

episode 30: assault on south headquarters

YOKI LMAO

seeing yoki and scar makes me miss mei chang

MEI CHANG SUPREMACY

yoki really about to snitch

BIDOOOOOO

everyone showing up this episode

greed is gonna roll up with a venti frappuccino any minute now

archer is a creep

is this footage from the arnold classic?

“the muscles did the talking for them”

archer is a creep

who ru calling a freak HAHA AL’s angwy voice

ope

how IS hughes doing

pls not the pain

how did this kid come into the corporeal world

armstrong what

OUROBOROS

so he’s either wrath or pride ig

i dont think bradley is a homunculus in this one

yoki is basically michael yagoobian aka the bowler hat guy

there’s greed lmao

with the ladies

EW NO PLEASE GOD

I DONT WANT ANY MORE SHOU TUCKER

KIMBLEE WHAT

WHAT THE FUCK WHO CUT HIS HAIR LIKE THAT

WHO ALLOWED THAT I AM CHOKING

NOT THE MULLET PONYTAIL

izumi taking on the military

of course

kimblee JESUS

bradley is EVERYWHERE at ALL TIMES

this is rOUGH

there are so many parties vying for the kid

i still cant get over kimblee like WHAT

WHAT IS HIS PURPOSE HERE

AGAIN it just seems like bradley is everywhere at all times

#carol watches fma03 #fullmetal alchemist #carol's remaining brain cells #hi!!!!!#back w reactz #yay

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viktormaru · 5 years

Text

a super post on some kakashi and sakumo meta

Alright lets do this

BOOKS?? idk is there any connection how lil Sass and Strict Kakashi somehow ends up to porn?? did he accidentally read the word 'boob' in one of Sakumos books and was forever tainted.

According to Naruto Online, Kakashi starts reading Jiraiya’s books at age 18. So what I think happened is well ... puberty. Kakashi shows a bit of an interesting in reading early on so we can assume he was already into books. But then I imagine that like... he hit puberty at around 14 but things were still a mess back then, seeing minato dies then and so on so Kakashi never had a chance to process those things properly. But then time passes, he’s ANBU and he needs to do something whenever he’s stuck on the village be it to recover or simply because he has no missions. He’s gotta isolate himself and Gai keeps giving him frowny looks at the depressing books he has so he goes to the bookstore to get a new one and its like... he bumps into some sales and oh.. its Jiraiya’s book... Kakashi knows Jiraiya. And he opens the thing and goes red. Glances around and its like, his whole new set of hormones make themselves very known and Kakashi buys the thing and reads it alone and is super embarrassed but LOVES it. Its so different from everything else his read he cannot stop reading it. Travel fowards a little and Kakashi notices he can use it to troll other people so he starts reading it in public.

Do you think Sakumo brought Kakashi along on missions a lot? Lower ranked missions, as bonding and training? And and, because the leaf village doesn't vet these things, one of those D/C missions actually turns out much more dangerous than intended and Sakumo has to teach Kakashi how to kill much earlier than he intended to, which is partially why Kakashi is desensitized to violence until the one dead is his dad

Yes! I think at first Sakumo would bring Kakashi along because he didn’t trust anyone with the baby (and he was paranoid the kid would die if he got too far away ever since his wife died) so kakashi is a mandatory company for any missions within the village. It becomes a habit and when Kakashi’s curious eyes just swept over anything Sakumo did , he found it cute. And then Kakashi started to try to copy what Sakumo did and proved that maybe he could do those things as well. So sakumo takes him along as a learning experience and just a way to spend time with him (sakumo is not good at Dad-ing in his own opinion but he’d good at ninja-ing, so if he can teach kakashi how to ninja, he will). And yes, I can see missions going south and Sakumo having to teach Kakashi about life and death, about in the shinobi world sometimes its you or them, and Kakashi having to process it the best way he can. Kakashi knows early on that poorly trained shinobi are dead shinobi.

Opinions on animals that are not dogs?? Are they okay with cats or do they Dislike because of the cat v dog natural fight

They are probably ok with other animals, including cats. Dogs are just their favorites. Also, Kakashi might be a dog lover but he’s sure cat-like often! Gotta stick with the pack though, dogs number 1.

What was Sakumo's relationship with the ninken?

With his own or Kakashi’s? I love the idea that Sakumo had a pack of wolves that he called The Ladies (read that on a fic but can’t remember it now). Just a bunch of amazing wolves that Sakumo respects a lot (hes the babiest of them all, they call him soft). If you mean Kakashi’s... idk if like... 5 years old is an age in which summoning is possible but I think Sakumo would love them as his own children as well (in a way).

What did Kakashi tell his dad in the afterlife?

Tales of team minato at first! Sakumo would have loved clumsy obito, kind rin and the lovely Minato. He tries to tell him happy stories. He goes over the sad stories and the losses and he tells him about Gai, about how sakumo had been right and how Gai really has made a difference. He tells about team 7 and their potential. He talks about himself and about how much he’s changed from the little girl he used to be and he hopes he could be something his father could be proud of.

Did Sakumo attend PTA meetings

*googles PTA*

Well, he had to when they decided to boost Kakashi through the ranks. Sakumo was shitting his pants in fear thinking something might have happened to Kakashi or some trouble was stirred with the kids but then they were just like “yea hes too good to be in this class” and gave praises about his childs performance and sakumo was just like “..... ok....”

Do you think Kakashi hated his dad for a while after his suicide? Or do you think he hated the village?

I think he hated his father, or tried really hard to. It’s really complex. Kakashi seems to still love his father despite everything but... hating the village is something that is just.. its not possible. Its not allowed. Kakashi was bred to fight and die for the village first and foremost and what that means is that if the village turned against him then its cause he must redeem himself. And if his father died under the pressure, then its cause his father couldnt give the village what he should have given. The village abandoned him cause he deserved it, sakumo abandoned him cause he chose to.

Kakashi understands the reason his father did what he did, but falls into denial because the opposite would turn against the village. And now that he was alone, how the hell could that even be possible? If he becomes a better ninja he will prove himself to everyone. If sakumo had been a better ninja he wouldnt have been scorned so much. Simple logic.

Its easier then thinking about the morals of one actions and the whole deal of humanity versus being a weapon of the village.

What happened to Sakumo's ponytail

Kakashi cut it

Did Sakumo read Jiraiya's books

I dont think sakumo was alive by the time jiraiya published his first book! I think Jiraiya had a few drafts before though, just random stuff he’d scribble. Sakumo liked the cheesy romance shorts (they were bad).

In SD, there's a joke that Sakumo is the inventor of the One Thousand Years of Death. Thoughts?

i LOVE IT. Sakumo impressing Kakashi with a super secret dangerous forbidden technique and Kakashi is like oh?!?!!! And he tries to get Jiraiya with it.

Relationship between Sakumo and Minato?

Ah! Theres one fic out there that i really like that shows how i picture their relationship to be like. Minato at first being a nervous puppy around this Man of Legends Sakumo, and said man being completely unaware of his status and just being like “oh wow what a nice boy”

this fic btw: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12854022

Relationship between Sakumo and the three sannin?

Jiraiya likes Sakumo because Sakumo is very easy to be dragged to places and he can talk nonstop to him and Sakumo is usually too nice to call him an idiot. Sakumo hangs out with Jiraiya cause he fills the silence for the both of them and makes him leave his home and try to have fun some times (sakumo is a workaholic unfortunetely)

Tsunade thought he was a coward at first but its also very easy to make him pay for your tab so she keeps him around. She learns eventually that he!s smart and a good person and a good listener! So they become friends and they can gossip about jiraiya too. Sakumo was definitely terrified if tsunade at first but shes too fucking cool and smart. Hes always scared into hanging out with her but ends up enjoying himself around her.

Orochimaru finds him too bland. Sakumo is boring and soft and he fights like a legend but says sorry too much. They only hang out because of their shared friend circle. Sakumo is too busy being socially inept to know what to do around Orochimaru. Its painfully awkward, he feels bad.

Has Sakumo beaten up Hiruzen?

Oh hell yeah! They totally must have sparred at some point and DAMN Sakumo’s a beast when hes fighting. Hits like a fucking truck. Destroy that old man.

Is Kakashi gay

Yes

What do you think if kakashi wanted to be a medical and how will that affected the storyline

Oh! Ive read a fanfiction on this! Its pretty good and I think its about how things would have happened if Kakashi was a medinin.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1273706

#kakashi hatake #sakumo hatake #naruto

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just-some-random-blogger · 5 years

Text

Wheel Of Fortune

EXO Park Chanyeol x Reader + others Characters: EXO Summary: Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Chanyeol was head over heels for you but he was 100% in denial that you liked Kyungsoo. Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: CRACK FOOL. RUN IF YOURE NOT HERE FOR THAT, jealousy, bottled emotions, fluff ending, etc.

A/N: this was TOO FLUFFY tbh. i wanted to hurt myself but it turned into fluff but oh well

let’s start at the beginning

your parents were introduced by mutual friends and started talking on the phone

okay kidding that’s too far

right

so you worked at SM

and is the maknae of a seven member coed group that debut a year after BigBang and a year before SHINee

(so 2007)

which considering the fact you were younger than Sehun by a couple of months meant you debuted at 10

just roll with it cos ITZ MY VERY SPECIFIC PLOT DMMIT

wheLP

the members were all exactly one year apart and the members from eldest to youngest,, the sequence was a guy (@ 30 yrs old), a girl (29), a guy (28), a girl (27), a guy (26), a guy (25), then you (24).

I KNOW I DONT NEED THIS BUT THIS IS HOW I IMAGINED THIS PLOT IT DMMIT

since you were basically a sunbae at SM even tho u were a smol child you wanted to show your support to your hoobaes

So a day before their debut as a whole group, you, along with the eldest member of your group, who was the leader, visited EXO in the dance studio and gave moral support

You were A BIG FAN and it showed

not that you were hiding it in the first place

your leader was HIGH KEY embarrassed by you, but low key thought it was kinda cute how excited you were for this song

so dUH EXO dances growl for you

anD YOU NEARLY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST BECAUSE OF HOW PERFECT EVERYTHING WAS

Luhan’s voice

Baekhyun’s attitude

Sehun’s resting bitch face

eeeerrrrrthing

YOU WERE ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING

literally

and Junmyeon thought you were adOrAbLE

“I think she malfunctioned,” your leader gave a face and pushed you on the shoulder to see if you were still breathing as you let out a silent scream

“CAN YOU GUYS DO IT ONE MORE TIME”

?????

Jongin was too out of breath to fight you

but lol u know what

they did dance again for you

BECAUSE YALL HAD THE CUTEST LIL FACE AND YOU WERE LIKE 16 SO

after that your band and exo were pretty much in one group

like hella tight

you were bsicly conjoined twinss

You could be at an award show and your table would be abandoned because you decided to sit with exo or vice versa

HYPING EACH OTHER WAS NOT EVEN HYPE ANYMORE BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE YOU GUYS WERE RABID OR SOMETHING WTF

!!!!CALM!!!!!DOWN!!!!

like you + your group to them:

“thtAS MY CHILd!”

“DID YOU SEE YIXING AND HIS HIPS FUCK YOU BITCH!”

“HE WAS RUDE. THAT WAS RUDE. THAT’S NOT ALLOWED”

“GET OFF THE STAGE SLUT”

“WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP BITCH!”

“~~~that was sooooooo sOFYT”

“CHEN STFU! YOU NEED TO STOP USING THAT DAMN VOICE OF YOURS JONGDAE. THATS ILLEEEEEGAL!”

“myY HERT!”

“OPPA *cries in korean* PLESS!”

“WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY!!!!!?“

‘iN fRonT oF MY sALaD”

“PA$$ THE H01Y W4T3R”

“NO KAI. BAD KAI. STTOOOOPPPP.”

you @ baekyun

baekyun @ you

thIS IS A CHANYEOL HEADCANON BUT I LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN MORON WHO I HATE SO MUCH SOMEONE SAVE HIM FROM HIS IDIOCY

them to you + your group:

“first of all fuck, second FUCK”

“wh-- whT WHAS THAT HIP MOVEMENT. U ARE 4 YRS OLD”

“HE did t h a t.”

“NOOOOOONNNNNNNNNAAAAA ch0k3 me”

“I CANT HEAR YOU OVER U BEING SUCH A HOE”

“i cant beLIEVE THIS STADIUM IS SO QUIET” *ears are actually bleeding*

“NOt TODaY S4T4N”

“I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS”

“how does this have 300M views????? ONLY 300M I--”

“GAAAAAHHHHH WHAT WAS THAT MOVE WHT WAS IT”

“my soul has been touched”

“this is TOOOOOOOO much ma lord”

“DID YOU JUST RIP YOUR SHIRT OFF?“

“TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!”

“ASDFRTYUJM ive been shot”

ya dig

it’s not verbal abuse if they can’t hear you cause of the bass and the fact your on stage performing

but like

you guys did everything together

practiced

ate

shopped

toured

pranked

T O G E T H E R

like who else in SM mattered

SHINee who?

JK YOUWERE A SHAWOL THROUGH AND THROUGH

you reassure Minho everytime unless you wanted to die that day

YOu EVEN FANGIRLED OVER TAEMIN’s MOVE WITH MINSEOK

BUT YOU OBVI you had MORE THAN ENOUGH ROOM TO BE AN EXO-L and an elf and a cassie and a so-won and DONT FOrget a vip and a---

you get the point

ANYWAY

as you were close with everyone you had a special bond with every individual

YALL STILL TEXT WITH YA BOY KRIS

yOU WENT ON A SHOW IN CHINA WITH LUHAN

TAO LEAVES PUKE COMMENTS ON YOUR INSTA POSTS

my ot12

and as much as you say you are equally close with everyone

errbody knows that be bull the size of russia

yall caNNOT dENy that you and chanyeol have the same crack powder on your philtrums

LIKE KYUNGSOO CANNOT LIVE WHEN YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER

LET HIM LIVEEEEEE

this moment must never die

ya boy be mindin his own business then

BAM BITCH

you and chanyeol be makin D.O. cray af

rest assured he HAS thought of how he’d kill both of you

ANd that’s why chanyeol loves you

like he decided he liked you the moment you lost your breath laughing when he threw a rubber duck at Kyunggsoo’s head, making it squeak in the most demented way no one thought possible

but he knew he loved you when you helped him lighten up on one of his dark days

you had that kind of effect on people

i mean all you did was sit down with him, both of your backs leaned up against each other’s, head occasionally leaning against the other’s head or shoulder, and played some nothings on the guitar and ukulele

but that was more than enough

you were there with him

and that’s what mattered

But literally the moment he accepted his feelings for you

he began to notice something he felt 100000% dumb for not seeing before

the way you laugh when Kyungsoo says a lame-ass joke

the way you always hug him from behind

you did that with literally everyone you were close with sure,

but Chanyeol noticed you did it with him more

and he 3

there was also the way you were just always winding up next to Soo when he was around, like he had some sort of magnet on him

and how you just liked poking his cheeks, begging him to show his dimples

which were really faint like gurl--

chANYEOL HAD DIMPLES TOO

CHANYEOL HAS DIMPLES

why daheq did you like his close to nonexistent ones?????????

????????

okay you liked poking Lay’s dimples more

look at my boy, who i love with burning passion ANDWILL DESTROY SM FOR BECAUSE HE JUST WANTS TO BE WITH HIS BAND SM SM SM!!!!! CHINA KOREA POLITICS FK ALL YALL

and suho

and chen

anD FINE--

yeah you did poke his too

literally anyone who remotely has dimples tbh

BT WHY KYUNGSOO

ads;ajsd;lasjdkas #jelly

so chanyeol decides to ask someone about it

so he obviously goes to his wisest hyung

but the day he wants to talk to Suho, YOU WERE ON A DATE WITH HIM

like a date but not a date date he could tell

BUT A DATE NONETHELESS AND HE WAS KINDA JELLY

so he goes to Baekhyun for some fucking reason

and he’s like “omg u like her i couLDnt FUCKING TELL FROM ALL THE HEARTS IN TH AIR”

instant regret

but like Baek did give him some advice

like 5% was advice

the other 99% was him screaming to just be a man and tell her

so chanyeol is like, “STFU.... also she likes kyungsoo so fml”

and for a hot second Baekhyun has nothing to say

BAEKHYUN HAS NOTHING TO SAY

“idek dude. this is why i flirted with her openly”

Chanyeol punched him for saying that

but he decides he’s going to tell you after like 231109 years

cos Jongdae said you don’t like Kyungsoo and that he’s sure of it

Chanyeol asked how he was sure and he was just all like

“she had a crush on Sungmin hyung before and DID NOT act like that at all.”

That made Chanyeol a lot more hopeful

So he just went for it

and asked if you wanted to get lunch

and then after eating, you guys walked back

and he just sort of blurted it out

“Joahaeyo.”

you just looked at him and chuckled, “Thank you. I like you too, Yeolie.”

bitch are you for real rn

before Chanyeol could clarify, your walking slowed, “I’ve known for a while now.”

wait

w h a t

“Minseok oppa told me.”

?????????? uhm HOW DID HE KNOW

Chanyeol’s hands were waterfalls atm, “Why did he tell you?”

Your face starts burning red and chanyeol cant help but think of it as a bad sign

“I told him I liked him...”

“... and he said he can’t reciprocate because he knows you like me, and that he can’t do that to his dongsaeng.”

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

cool story bro

you liked someone in EXO that was NOT him

cool cool cool

I GUESS CHEN WAS RIGHT

THANKS

wait did that mean chanyeol was this obvious

wait did that mean chanyeol ruined your chances with his hyung

wait was this why you cried that one time

WaiT WAS THIS WHY YOU HUNG AROUND KYUNGSOO

BECAUSE WHENEVER MINSEOK WAS IN THE ROOM, YOU WOULD GET KINDA STIFF AT A POINT AND KYUNGSOO MAKE A JOKE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

WASTHIS WHY YOU TWO HUNG OUT MORE

WHY HADN’T HE NOTICED

AND IF EVERYONE ELSE DID

WHY DIDNT THEY TELL HIM

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chanyeol frowned and called out your name, proceeding to apologize

“Wae? why are you sorry? did you tell minseok to say that to me?“

he couldn’t feel mushy and weird at what you said

“YA dont tell me youre going to be weird around me too. It’s bad enough Minseok oppa distanced himself a bit.”

Chanyeol couldn’t help but be angry, sad, protective, and annoyed all at once at what you just admitted to him

“I’ll tell him to stop.”

You pouted, “you don’t have to tell anyone anything, chanyeol.”

“yes but you don’t deserve to feel awkward around anyone.”

“yes but that was minseok oppa’s choice.”

“yes but he was only doing that because he’s my hyung and he’s dumb.”

“yes but--

OU KNOW WHAT WHY DONT WE ALL JUST BE AWKWARD AROUND EACH OTHER”

and so you walked forward fast and tried to ignore chanyeol

Chanyeol, with his freakishly long legs caught up with you though

he caught your arm

“What tf are you doing?“

“Ew dont talk to me its awkward. im awkward. your awkward.”

Chanyeol laughed. “yaaaaa, why do i like you?

“THAT’S WHAT IM THINKING HO”

103 notes · View notes

hyunarkarchive · 5 years

Text

oh my stress;;

“'tis i, a writer, togetherslapper of words.”

knowing that my own five year anniversary at rookies is in about two months makes me actually really emotional, and most of you know, i don’t really get emotional about stuff like this.

i’m here to talk about all the fucking shit storms i brought. starting from good ol’ ellyrk, who turned into yuriirk and currently known as hyunark, as well as, rkxwoozi, aka jihoonrk, fucking namtaerk, eunwoork, minhyunrk, younghyunrk 1.0, junhoerk aka younghyunrk 2.0. i am about 100% sure i’m missing someone BUT YOU KNOW, we can let that muse stay in dungeon vile.

not even 10 minutes later

oh yeah- minhork was it? minhxrk??? idk what his url was, shortlived lovely muse i tell you. jisungrk was a thing for like 6 months. however, as you can see, i have a lot of muses, 11 in total, well 8 if you remove younghyun 1.0 & 2.0 and jihoon.

its been nearly five years since i joined rookies and ive made a lot of memories here. good, bad, amazing, mediocre. a lot of memories than pretty much just range. can you believe i’ve actually cried a few times about rookies related thing? yeah, me neither, but here we are hahaha. i will probably not edit this at all, so if you see spelling mistakes, or maybe something is repeated, just ignore it please, its from the heart.

this place really helped me develop my writing, vocabulary and definitely social skills. i might suck at threading and replying on time, but i have to say, all the muns here are amazing!!! i remember when i first joined, oh boy was i fucking terrified of the fact that i SUCKED at writing. i was so cautious about what i write and how i spoke and i think some of you could remember it haha. i’ve also managed to make some amazing friends throughout my stay here, all of them older than me, as well haha and i was babied so much i always found it funny, but very thankful because some of the life lectures i got where definitely needed.

however, i will take a few minutes to write about the last three standing; hyunark, jihoonrk and younhhyunrk

hyunark:

my first ever tumblr muse. my first rookies muse. my longest standing muse. she;s gone through a lot, and honestly, she will continue to do; i wasn’t all that good with her in the beginning, now i see a lot of gaps and weird stuff whenever i have to go read something to remind myself of events and so on. however, i really love her, and i’ve gotten a bit too attached to her haha. can you blame me tho? from ellyrk, to yuriirk, now hyunark, there have been alot of ups and downs but i am happy where she’s come. to being a potential walking scandal, to being in two survival shows, to being the first muse at rookies to not be offered a contract renewal, to another survival show, to a nova trainee after being cut short twice by hyunbin. she had gone through alot of character development and its shaped her a lot better than i ever could, for which i need to say my thanks to the mods of rookies for it, because without them, hyunark would probably be headed in a completely different direction haha. however, she still focuses on producing, writing lyrics and ever since she got into nova as a trainee, she’s focused on her dance as well because she doesn’t wanna be called an uncooked noodle anymore. her dream is to be a recognized producer and lyricist, and will fight for that title.

jihoonrk:

jihoork was previously known as rkxwoozi. i even used his original blog when i re-applied with him;; he lasted a bit under a year in all honesty the first time and i specifically remember that the reason for that was being signed under trc. it was a pretty unfortunate time for him to be signed, with all the scandals that happened and what not. i was a tad regretful that i dropped him to be honest, which is all the reason to why he was brought back. tbh, he didn’t change in that like 6 months gap he was away. he was the same moody gremlin everyone knew and loved. if you had asked me, a few years ago if i thought jihoon would debut, i’d laugh and say no fucking way, but here we are, when he is a member of convex and got to debut with his longets lasting friend, sehun and best friend seungcheol. so he is living the dream you know? even if he doesn’t show it, he is grateful and appreciates everything that’s happening around him and to him. his main goal right now is to be the variety ace of convex and is working slowly to achieve that goal.

yonghyunrk:

ahhh here we go;; my last muse who had to undergo something similar to jihoonrk;; i brought him in, because i had this idea of a metal head, who really just wanted fame and girl and guys. however, stuff happened, i couldn’t get him to have threads i wanted and so i dropped him. again, i pretty much reapplied a few months later with junhoerk which was basically younghyunrk 2.0 and eventually, i realized that the muse deserved its original fc and here we are again with younghyunrk. to be honest, i don’t even know how i managed to get him to go to mga4, but he went and caused chaos with chungha and we all know how much fun he actually had haha;; he still doesn’t like dance, and will probably not enjoy it until he gets signed and coach tells him he can’t dance and JUST out of spite, he will get better at it. ultimately, he wishes to debut on a band, he wouldn’t really mind if he gets placed at any instrument, as long as he gets to sing. he still wants to reach paradise city, as guns ‘n roses have said.

quick mentions to some of my other muses as well. its funny how all my other muses lasted for months as well;; honorary mentions will go to namtaerk, minhxrk and probably minhyunrk, i won’t be really talking about them, so focusing on eunwoork and jisungrk;

i can without a doubt say that these are my more interesting muses, or eunwoo at least. her dream was to become a musical actress and was a serial dater; she’d date a lot of people, girls and boys, and wouldn’t really bat an eyelash once it was all over. never really had long term relationships either. she was into photography and her photography instagram was more popular than her personal one and she didn’t mind haha.

jisungrk wanted to be a professional football player and he was never really interested in becoming an idol, which made him fun to play. however, he was a really young muse, i think i made him 16? yeah, i think he was 16 and after that i realized i can’t do young muses;; its just weird for me, i have no clue what middle school kids actually do haha, i remember i just slept and did nothing all day, didn’t even study whoops.

but yeah, these two muses were very short lived but fun and i think that one day, if rkforthmuse is allowed, i highly doubt it, i will bring back eunwoork because she deserved more attention than i ever gave her.

now i will do a few mentions, by a few i mean it will be a lot;; i’m sorry if i get sappy or anything;; please accept my love <33

ABBIE - @seungcheolrk & @rkwon & @rkgwen - sunshine, my lovely amazing sunshine;; thank you. thank you, thank you. its been nearly five years of friendship, can you imagine it? soon, in just two months, it will be half a decade and i am extremely grateful;; i can’t explain it and i know that even saying it on a daily basis to you, it won’t be enough;; its funny how we started talking through rksoo and ellyrk, and now here we are, four years later, rkjicheol being in the same company, debuting together, in the same group. in all honesty, i remember when i dropped jihoon and then picked him up after like, literally two months, and it was one of the best decisions i ever made. i always have fun talking to you, plotting and threading and i honestly wish i did it a lot more than i currently do, but you know, uni is kicking my ass hasljdhlas anyway;; thank you, sunshine, thank you a lot and for these almost five years i love you a lot 🍅🍅🍅

HUNNIE - @yutark & @rksunwoo & @rkseokwoo - where do i even start?? like, oh wow, there is A LOT;; i can definitely say, we started talking when i suggested jihoon as sunwoo’s first kiss and look where the are now? dating, for what? seven months, can you believe that? SEVEN!!! this is insane haha;; and look and where we are now, talking on a daily basis, and its very very nice;; i don’t know what i would do nowadays without you, so i’m really really thankful you deal with my sorry ass so much ahdsdsalla it started with jihoon and sunwoo, then it transitioned to younghyun and yuta, and most recently, its been yuta and hyuna and their lil game of cat and mouse;; its always fun plotting with you, threading, talking, everything really;; and i really hope it will continue to be this way;; i love you

LYN - @rkxsnn & @rkavery - hello there mum!!! impressed im starting with you? anyway, i have A LOT OF THANK YOUS TO TELL YOU, starting from dealing with me, to helping me get through college, to life advice, to all the skype calls we had, a lot of things in these past few years. even if we don’t talk as much and i know you have life kicking u in the ass, i wish we could change that soon;; i miss you a lot;; all of your muses are amazing and i absolutely adore them, as much as i do you!! hmu soon;; minsoo and elly were iconic, and he will forever be a huge part of her;; remember that mino and taehyun ship we had? good angst times lbr.

JEN - @yujurk - sup there mum number 2 even though i act older than you, you can’t even lie about that haha; you were one of the first people i started talking to in rookies, and still do on a weekly basis? daily? you get the point haha;; damn, i don’t think we ever argued as well, which is insane and you do give good advice and oh my god your muses are so funnnnnnnnnn bring all of themmmmmmmm innnnnnnnnnnnnn;; i’m so so happy that you came back to rookies after that hiatus;; really really happy;; jieun and hyuna are iconic partners in crime;; jihoon is grateful that jieun taught him how to sing;; hyuna thinks soyeon will forever haunt her, no doubt;; jkook is forever jihoon’s bunny you can fight him about it;; eunwoo says jkook never took her on a date, she’s upset about it haha

CLARA - @rkwendy & @rkjohnny - clara clara clara. you really love having me send the group chat into gay panic huh? i will forever continue to do it, do not worry. once a week sound good? hahah;; i wish we talked more than we do lately, but its always fun no matter what it is;; i also know for sure, you have my back and we can take over a country if we tried hard enough lbr;; i think we mainly stared talking when the brosquad/antisquad happened, which was pretty much when i joined rookies haha;; so again, nearly five years of friendship look at that!! we need to talk more and you need to tell me more baking recipes!! i think it was hyuna and wendy that we first got to interact and then wendy and jihoon and funny enough, i feel like jihoon and wendy are closer than hyuna and wendy haha;; then younghyun joined the picture to fully annoy wendy out of this word;; we need to thread more sobs;; lets make that happen yeah?

SHINOBI - @rkkangjoon & @rkgray- hello there shinobi. i think our meet up scenario was the same as with clarea, huh? brosquad/antisquad;; we should talk more, that’s a definite but i think that with hyuna&kangjoon we have gotten a lot closer than before and its really cute and nice and i love it qwq gray and hyuna need to release a hit song someday, we better make that happen yeah??? good!!

SACHA - @rkrose & @rkkyungri - i am super super duper ultra mega giga happy we got to talk a lot in the past few months, get to know each other and its very very nice;; i always have fun talking to you and i know i can lean on you if my day has been shitty, and i am sorry if i’ve had a lot of shitty days sadhljsajldnl ahhh, but yes, our muses will go through a lot and i’m really happy you enjoy it and i hope we can see them grow and develop!!

ANI - @rkchungha & @rksohee& @rkmiya - what am i actually gonna do without you, that’s a very very good question i was asking myself recently. its really weird we never really talked a lot until younghyun was brought into rookies, which was i think this year huh? funny, very weird, what life was i living without you in it?? hahaha, anyway, i’m really glad and happy having chungha and younghyun so close got us to be closer as well, even if i set you into rp panic with random questions and potential scenarios haha;; i’m glad you enjoy them;;; love you lots!!

CARLY - @taeminrk & @rkluna & @danielxrk - we don’t really talk much, but in reality, i actually don’t know where i’d be rn if i couldn’t come to you with stupid questions and inquiries;; i wish you all the best in every possible aspect of life and love seeing you on the dash;; ngl i am also extremely and forever sorry that you have to read through hyunark’s post from like three years ago, that;s some nasty writing right there yikes;; but thank you for taking rookies under your wing and just expanding it and making it better and better with the rest of the mod team;; keep up the good work!!

a very special thanks to all of the royal girls, @rkxnarong , @rkyena , @rkella , @rkcheri , @rksoohyun , @rklisa , @rkrose who made royal survival a blessing, her stay in royal amazing as well;; special thanks to all the royal boys, ex ones count as well, fight me @rkbyunbaek , @jaehyunrk , @kibumrk, @yienrk , @rkseonho, thank you for being a part of hyunark’s journey in royal fun and emotional lbr;; you guys managed to make royal fun for me as well, so thank you so so so much to every single one of you guys;;

a huge thank you for og trc roster that’s still here and dealt with jihoon;s sorry ass back then; a huge thank you for the kt roster that had to deal with jihoon as well, even if it was for a short amount of time;; a huge thank you for sphere, and convex members @seungcheolrk , @rkhyun , @rkjinwook , @kibumrk , @rkjinkis , @rktaeyxng , @tenrk , @rkxroyal , @rkohsehun , @yienrk , @rkromeo , @rkzyx, who will now have to deal with jihoon like it not, but i apologize on his behalf;; even if i don’t say it often, i am really really happy jihoon got to debut with your boys and i’m happy i get to interact with all of you so much;; thank you, thank you, thank you;;

thank you rookies, for such an amazing time!! i can only wish and hope for many more!!!

#;wordcount/2715 #rkfifth #[[ im an emotional ball of sap rn #[[ thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

21 notes · View notes

dreammutual-remade · 6 years

Text

high school!donghyuck

request: idk if you’re taking reqs but i really like ur highscool aus so if u want to write one abt hyuck ill be :^))))))) - anonymous

word count: 5.1k

a/n: oof its been awhile unnies!!!! ive had exams for the past two weeks and I still have exams now so im sorry for not posting anything but reblogs with headassery in the tags!!! we are continuing the high school series n renjun is next!! since I got like 3 requests for him !!!!! hhehhehehheheh its gonna b cute <3 anyways hope u enjoy this I love my lil duckie baby

masterlist

mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung

big oof i’m gonna cry while writing this

i’m running out of creative ways to say let’s dive in

let us take the plunge

okay!!!!!!!!!! so you’ve been an editor/writer for the school paper for pretty much all of your high school career

you’re not super well known though because you don’t try to take any credit for anything and always sign your pieces like “- the daily newspaper team” or smth

anywhom you’ve always loved writing about the stuff around you or making up little short stories

one of your hobbies is just going people watching and trying to write down a brief description of people you see and what you think they’re on the way to do

you’ve befriended the baristas at your favorite spot, lucas and mark, and they always beg to read them but you never let them because mark is too nice to tell you it’s shit and lucas is too dumb to at least say it nicely

you’ve got at least 6 notebooks FULL of these little stories but you’ve never really ? showed anyone because wow showing others your work is Scary

criticism ???/$&/&:&:&:

it’s midway through the first semester of the school year and you’ve been super busy since it’s football season and you gotta write about all the games

and you haven’t had much time to write your cute little stories for yourself and you miss it a lot :/

this weekend though the chance of rain is SUPER high so the football game is cancelled and you have plenty of time to yourself !! :D

there is, a setback tho

THUNDER!!!!! IS SO SCARY !!!!!!

u fckin softie

you decide to tough it out though and get suited up in some polka dot rain boots and a rain jacket and set off to find somewhere to chill

as you’re walking to the nearest lil greenhouse/cafe thing it starts raining ,, ,,, hARDER

when you started it wasn’t rlly raining it was just like that weird tension in the air right before the air pressure drops and it starts to rain and you were already on edge OOF

but then it’s raining so you clutch your notebook to your chest and dash

usain bolt had nothing on you girly you were ZOOM ZOOM

broom broom- doyoung

unfortunately you don’t make it though because with you head down to keep the rain out of your eyes you run RIGHT into someone’s CHEST !!!!!!

hehe u know i’m a sucker for these god damn TROPES

your notebook goes flying and and the arms attached to the Chest That Caused Your Grief come up to catch you by the arms

“oh gOD sorry are you okay ??? i wasn’t looking and i was trying to keep my journal dr- MY JOURNALSDJDDD”

you fling yourself out of this boys arms and pick up your soaking wet journal sadly

:((((((( you had so many stories in there wtf

“oh shit i’m sorry do you uh want me to buy you another one ???”

“no that’s okay it wasn’t your fault :( and it’s just a journal i’m only sad because all my stories are gone :(((((“

you finally look up from your Ruined journal to see , the prettiest boy

you can’t tell for sure cause his hair is soaking wet but it’s a bright red that looks a bit faded and his skin is tanned and golden like HONEY OOF

he meets your eyes and awkwardly smiles and he looks so GUILTY AW

“no really it’s fine don’t feel bad!!”

“okay but i feel bad what can i do to make it up to you?”

“hMMM you could come help me think of wacky stories about people who walk past”

“well if you INSIST m’lady”

“aw, never mind”

“IM JUST KIDDING SJDJJD”

so in the pouring rain you both walk to cafe and find a little corner to people-watch in

on the way there he tells you his name is donghyuck but his friends call him hyuck

“dude that’s the sound goofy makes when he laughs your friends are terrible”

“oh my god i don’t even think they know what they’re saying HsjdjHEHHS”

after a couple minutes of bad goofy impressions you decide to call him duckie instead because ,,,, GARSH MICKEY 🤠🤠🤠

also because it’s cute

you didn’t hear this from me but he uwued so hard rip his street cred with the Boys

anyways right before you settle in you’re like hey uh did you have somewhere to be like weren’t you heading places

and he was like nah i like the rain it’s nice to just walk around feels GOOD

your eyes widen so big and he snorts because what’s so ridiculous about that

and you’re like uh UH NO NOPE NO SIR I DONT FUCK WITH DEMONS

your dramatic ass tries to get up and LEAVE but he grabs your wrist and is like noooo we haven’t even written any stories yet why do you hate rain so much ??

you explain how thunder is the work of the devil and that lightning could strike you down where you stand at any moment and storms are EVIL

he chuckles and side eyes you

“aW you big wimp you’re afraid of thunderstorms aren’t you”

“yES. like any sane person would be”

“you know a lot of people actually like storms”

“like i said, SANE people do not”

and then you change the subject right quick because your face is getting RED with embarrassment

you n donghyuck spend like 2 hours just sitting in the corner and writing little scenarios on napkins

“oh shit that girl over there with the french braids is TOTALLY gonna marry hipster beanie guy in two years. mark my words”

“idk y/n she lowkey has the hots for the barista”

“ ew you mean mark??”

“yeah. now THAT man is a work of art”

MARKHYUCK RISE

“god what is wrong with you maybe you should buy me another book”

“too late now we’re FRIENDS and i don’t owe you ANYTHING”

“being friends doesn’t work like that at all but, okay”

at the end of the day you’ve got a stack of napkins with scribbled notes on them

(one of them has donghyuck’s number on it skdkkfjd)

he leaves you with a bright smile and you’re in awe this boy is so golden and lovely

oof and when you were still in the cafe his hair had dried to the unnatural red color that he ? somehow made look good ugh not fAIR

and it was a lil curly and fluffy and looked very soft :(((((

as you walk home you drift along the sidewalk with a stupid smile on your face wow please get a little less obvious hunty

when you get home the sun is setting and the rain has cleared and you are so Happy that was the best day !!!

you weren’t even scared of the thunder because whenever the sky would fckin CRACK OPEN hyuck would subtly try to keep your attention and distract you with questions

the sky: AAAAAAAAAAA

duckie: oH Hey uhhh so hOW do you even come up these stories ?):$:$ theyre so good

such a sweet boy uwu

when you get home your mom eyes you suspiciously as you drift down the hall towards your room but doesn’t comment

she didn’t need to though because you immediately return and tell her everything !!!

she encourages you to befriend him at school and see where it goes from there ;))) or just TEXT HIM

so you do

both of those things !!!

you: hey!! it’s y/n btw

duckie: hey! u make it home alive without the sky cracking open and killing u

you: stOP MAKING FUN OF ME

you send him memes and he sends , even better ones back this boy is Husband Material

the next couple weeks you realize that hyuck is actually in like a lot of your classes

and he’s like yeah i don’t blame you for not noticing since your nose is always in one of those Damn Journals

can’t believe u smh

anywhom

you start actually interacting with people in class

and by people i mean donghyuck and any of his friends who happen to be there

you literally get thrown into their friendgroup like one day you know donghyuck and have vaguely heard of jeno since he’s on the soccer team

and then the next you’re a part of the group message and jaemin begs for your math homework during lunch ????

“jaemin just dO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK FOR ONCE ???”

“ugh but i don’t know how”

“hey you know what maybe if you didn’t sleep in class you WOULD”

“IM TIRED GOD DAMN IT”

this is usually when duckie interjects with

“hey now girls, you’re both smart <3”

“i know im smart but , jaemin , i don’t know about him 😔😔”

poor jaemin leave him alone :(

jisung is , extREMELY awkward around you because he’s a Baby Freshman and you’re a Female Senior hsjdjf it’s so cute

and chenle is the complete opposite he IMMEDIATELY latches onto you and is always like

“y/n !!!! wanna watch this video of me singing and playing the piano when i was thirteen on live national television !!!!”

“y/N !!!!!!! can you drive me n jisung to get ice cream plEASE !!! we won’t even play PSY this time”

“okay,,,,, pinky promise?”

his pinky hooks around yours at an incredible speed as he jumps up and down with excitement

“pinky promise !!!!!!!!!!”

hyuck overhears and insists upon coming with for , unknown reasons

renjun and jeno keep snickering to each other across the lunch table too uGH

sneaky bastards !

after school you wait in the parking lot for the Babies with hyuck who looks rather flushed considering his skin is pretty tan and it takes a lot for him to visibly blush ??

“hey duckie boy you good?”

“haha yEAH uh just wondering where the boys are hhhh”

“oh yeah ! they should’ve been here like 10 mins ago”

your phone buzzes in your pocket and you go to check it to see a text in the group message

lele: hey y/n~ me n jisung can’t come we totally forgot we joined a frisbee team and there’s practice today !!!

blueberry: yeah ! have fun w/ hyuckie tho

moominluvr96: sjdjd i’m so proud of them

jenomunomunomu: absolute legends have fun at ur frisbee practice my sons

you: 🅱️ro i wanted to go home and SLEEP

blueberry: sorry ! xoxo :*

duckie: chenle my son ? how could you 🅱️etray me this way???

you: ur dead to me

you: literally what’s a chenle ?? sounds like a poisonous fruit

lele: NO IM SORRY

but tbh you’re just being Silly you don’t mind just going with Sunshine Boy

hyuck has only gotten redder as the texting went on though what’s his deal 0.0

you agree to take his car !

actually you insist because you don’t wanna drive but, let’s say you agreed

you find out that hyuck exclusively listens to hipster bands and the occasional troye sivan song because we love a gay legend

actually his music taste is ALL OVER THE PLACE but we r still boppin ladies

you roll the windows down even tho it’s Chilly and let your hand float in the breeze until your fingers start getting numb and you pull your hand back in and roll up the window

okay maybe that was a Bad Idea your fingers almost hurt they’re so cold and you’re rubbing the feeling back into them when hyuck clears his throat

you look up at him and he tilts his chin toward the hand he stretched toward you

you’re confused bc like ? i don’t have anything to give u duckie

he sighs anxiously

“just. give me your hand. mine are warm because i didn’t try to be cool and stick my hand out the window like this is a teen coming of age movie”

“have you ever just been nice and not followed it up with a weirdly specific insult”

“nope. now gimme”

you cautiously placed your hand in his and felt heat bloom all over your cheeks and trail up to your ears and down your neck

he gulps and interlocks your fingers and tucks them in the pocket of his hoodie

you have to lean against the console in between you a little so that your arm isn’t strained but it’s,,,,, Warm and Nice

you’re quick to continue the conversation like normal but your voice sometimes goes in and out since he is subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand or tapping his fingers against yours

when you arrive you awkwardly pull your hand from his grip to get out of the car and he cringes a lil :(

you decide to be bold for once in your life and run around the car to catch up with him and shove your other hand into his

“this one’s cold too”

he ducks his head and smiles but gives your hand a lil squeeze :3 uwu

eventually though you do have to let go and enjoy your ice cream

you just make small talk with him about the newspaper and whatever homework is due the next day when a man walks in wearing BRIGHT RED CLOWN SHOES

the weirdest part though is the fact that other than the clown shoes the man is dressed like a body builder and has the hulking mass of one

and also there is a PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER ???

you and hyuck whip to face each other and then look back at the man

without looking away you slide your notebook to the middle of the table and flip open to where you’ve bookmarked the next available page

needless to say you both have a field day making up storylines for this man

“hey hyuckie i missed this it’s been forever since it’s been just the two of us and my journal”

“me too, sunshine”

“heY now you’re the sunshine in this relationship”

both of you choke at your use of the term “relationship” but continue with the conversation JSKSK

“alright but then you have to be the rain”

“aw you know i don’t like the rain”

“yes i know that’s why YOU are sunshine”

“kay but you are so much more like sunshine than i, an Emo”

“how bout i be sunshine since you like sunshine and me, and you be rain since i like rain and you”

OOF ????????

you blush for the Millionth Time and nod shyly and duckie is about to turn purple YIKES

you leave the ice cream shop and climb back in the car and the whole atmosphere is very Tense

you sigh because you miss holding his hand and then turn up the song on the radio which just happens to be, Walkin On Sunshine

THE !!! IRONY !!!

you giggle into your hand and he snorts and you both break into laughter

you plug your phone into the aux

“alright time for some Real Tunes”

“i swear to GOD if you play Bad Boy one more time i’m gonna LOSE IT”

“fuck you red velvet are LEGENDS”

“the only reason you know who they are is because mark tells everyone with a pulse that one of them is from canada just like him”

“okay and ??? i can still appreciate that they produce iconic songs only”

“LISTEN I LOVE RED VELVET TOO BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”

you playfully bicker the whole way back and when you get back to the school to pick up your car you realize you never even got to play your song

“for your information, i was in fact NOT going to play bad boy i was going to play the bop of the century, what is love by twice”

and then, with heavy sarcasm

“well gee why didn’t you just sAY SO”

“IM SICK OF YOUR GIRL GROUP SLANDER LEE DONGHYUCK”

then he giggles and grabs your hand to keep you from getting more than halfway out of the car

“okay okay you know i’m just messing with you”

“yes but leave my gorls out of it”

he releases your hand with fake disgust and wipes it on the passenger seat headrest

“ugh go home, gru”

“it’s a good meme and you can’t even deny it duckie boy”

you blow him a half serious half playful kiss as you bounce over to your car and climb in

you play bad boy and roll the windows down as you drive by his car just to spite him and he laughs good naturedly

it’s only when you get home that you’re like heyyyy nOW

WAS THAT A DATE ??????

you tell your mom about it and she’s like uHHH sounds like a DATE to me ???

but you’re Unsure so you don’t say anything to the others or hyuck just the usual goodnight texts and whatnot

although it could be argued ,, that goodnight texts are a little, relationship-y

it could also be argued , that you do have his contact name as , duckie☼♥

but those can be discussed another time

you continue to hang out with the boys although you refuse to allow them to sit with you at football games because they’re so DISTRACTING

jeno and jisung just fckin yell the whole time while you try to jot notes down to turn it into a story later for the paper

but you can’t concentrate or even figure out wtf is goin on because they’re scREAMING and jumping and messing you uP !

so you sent them elsewhere although,,, hyuck stayed with you

he always does “just in case you get cold or smth”

ur not fooling anyone hyuckie baby

and would you look at that time has FLOWN and it’s time for homecoming !!!!

you plan on going in a big group with hyuck and all The Boys and jaemin has even scored a date !!!

it was highkey through trickery but that’s okay

chenle and jisung are gonna wear matching shirts because they’re headass like that

you’ve already bought a dress and you haven’t ….. shown hyuckie……. just in case……… he asks you

since he…… hasn’t …… YET

renjun keeps assuring you that you don’t need to find a date and that everything is covered but ???? inch resting how duckie has done nOT ONE THING

alright the day of the dance you wake up feeling a little off but go through your normal saturday routine of eating a waffle and absentmindedly watching old gossip girl reruns

but later in the day you feel SHITTY

you’re flushed and your head hurts and it takes so much EFFORT just to get up and get a glass of water

you , comrade, are sick :-(

you text in the gm to let your boys know you can’t come

chenle thinks you’re faking until he calls and hears you sniffling and how rough your voice sounds

“hEY THOT I KNOW UR FAKING BC U DONT HAVE A DATE”

“chenle if it didn’t hurt to speak i would yell at u but my eyes are watering please just text me”

“oh,,,,sorry love u”

and then he hangs up real fast lmao

so you decide to just wallow in despair in your bed and rent overpriced movies on demand

there’s a half drank mug of tea that has long gone cold that contains the medicine you’re supposed to be taking but,, you can’t be bothered tbh lifting your hand is so hard

after a few movies and the sun setting there’s knock at the door ???

you barely hear it since you’re in your room with the door closed but /sigh/ you gotta go answer

you drag yourself out of bed and stumble to the front door and open it, immediately slumping against the frame

this whole time you have still not opened your eyes because light hurts a lil and you know your house well enough

in hindsight that was probably dumb considering you don’t know who’s at the door

you try to open your eyes but they only turn half lidded and droopy so you can just barely make out donghyuck looking Concerned on your front porch

“duckie? what are u doing here?”

“uhhh i uh came to take you to homecoming ??”

he then holds up some flowers and smiles awkwardly

“duckie. baby. sunshine. did u not read the texts i sent ? also it is VERY late to be asking me to homecoming. also, i am a little high on cold medication”

“srry princess, can i come in? you look like you need company and soup and possibly some Sarcastic Banter”

“sounds good duck”

“okay duckie was already incorrect please don’t shorten it to duck”

“you know i didn’t have to let you in”

“so what kind of soup do you want? :-)”

he busies himself attempting to make soup while you have melted into a chair at the dining table with one eye cracked open to watch him

he is very obviously Struggling so you wobble to your feet to stand behind him at the stove and maybe lean a little too much into his back to prop your chin up on his shoulder and reach a hand around him to turn the heat down on the stove

you’ve reached the point of I Don’t Give A Shit and have given up on trying not to be affectionate with him you’re too tired and sickly to restrain yourself and his heart is just steadily beating faster and faster

after your soup you drag him into your bedroom to force him to provide you warmth while watching another movie

but he digs his heels into the floor and tugs on your hand to turn you around

“since you’re missing homecoming….. wanna dance?”

“in my bedroom. while i’m dying. with no music.”

“i’ll take care of the music. cmon don’t be difficult”

“i’m not being difficult i’m just-

you’re cut off by him pressing a finger to your lips and going shhhhhh

you open your mouth to curse him out bc hOW DARE HE

but then he gently pulls you by the waist into his chest and does his best to tuck you under his chin

you’re too comfortable like this so you don’t bother admonishing him for earlier and just settle into his embrace

you loop your arms around his neck as he starts to sway you back and forth

after a couple seconds he starts humming, quietly at first and then louder

and then he starts singing and it’s so sO SWEET AND SOFT

you can feel each breath he takes under your hands and the vibrating of his vocal chords against your forehead and you just close your eyes and press closer to him

you’ve literally never been this content in your whole life binch

he is so warm and ever so often smooths a hand up and down your spine whenever you shiver a little or shift in his arms

when the song finishes you keep swaying with him a little while longer

you’re leaning against him so hard that like the majority of your weight is on him yikes

“babe are you asleep”

“mm”

“no?”

“mmm”

“pretty close though?”

“hm”

“alright”

he chuckles and presses a barely there kiss to the top of your head and sort of waddles the two of you over to the bed

you don’t even have to ask him to climb in with you that was The Plan, Stan

(that’s a saying and also i’m calling u a stan wow queen of puns)

as soon as he settles in you tuck yourself under his arm and throw an arm over him to play with the fingers of his other hand

you’ve got the breakfast club on and it’s Real Nap Hours

hyuck’s arm falls asleep pretty soon tho so instead you switch to laying on your sides facing each other with your face pressed into his neck and your arms draped over each other

right before you fade into unconciousness, he tilts his chin down and nudges his nose against yours to get your attention

your eyes flutter open and you look up at him while he smiles gently down at your sleepy expression aWE ???

“hey wanna be my date when you’re not on your death bed?”

“god, what a romantic. is that a shakespeare quote?”

“shut up and say yes”

“alright fine”

“with more enthusiasm!”

“YES!! GOD DAMN IT”

he shakes his head but then leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek before tucking you back against him and evening out his breathing

you fall asleep and dream of boys with beautiful voices who love to dance in the rain

a couple hours later you wake up to a forehead smooch and your Boy whispering bye angel

you sit up and whine and he’s like bby i have to go it’s like midnight n my momma wants me home :(((

you pout and he giggles and taps your lips with his index finger

“go back to sleep and i’ll text you something nice to wake up to yeah?”

you nod and grab his hand to kiss it before flopping back down and passing The Fuck Out

the next morning you wake up still feeling a bit shitty but smiling anyways bc you’ve scored the cutest boy in the universe uwu

he even kept his promise and left you a cute message to wake up to ;((((

duckie☼♥: good morning bbg i hope ur feeling better today and that the sun shines all day for u !!!

you: JEKDKDJ DUCKIE IM STILL SICK BUT TAKE ME ON A DATE RN

you: 💗💗💗💕💌💞💞💗😤💖🤧😔💗😔🤧😔🌺💐🌺🌺🌸💐😔💛😔💛💐🤧💐💐💖💖

duckie☼♥: noooo ur gross

you: you ruined it :(((

duckie☼♥: i mean noooo u gotta get better

you: okay :)))

you finally get over your cold like 4 days later and insist you’re fine to be Taken Out And Treated Like A Princess

he tells you to dress warm except gloves bc he wants to hold youR HAND CAN YOU BELIEVE

you’re weirdly not nervous ? like you thought you would be but you’re just excited and very happy !!!! uwu

he picks you up about an hour after school and reveals that he’s gonna take you to all the cafes in town to people watch and write stories which is !!! your favorite activity !!!!!!

“is it lame??? oh god you think it’s lame i’m so sORRY”

“nO!!! no i love it you did good”

“are you sure?”

“yes duckie”

“okay good i mean i knew you’d like it”

“but you just-“

“hm?”

“,,,,, nevermind”

you both hike around town until it gets late and you’re tired and you end up on a bench in the local park with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair

you lightly scratch his scalp and hum and he practically PURRS like a cat

(furry ????? it’s more likely than you think)

his eyes are closed and you trace your fingers over his features lightly until it tickles and he scrunches up his nose aw bABY !!!!!

then, without opening his eyes

“so when are you gonna man up and kiss me?”

“first of all, i will never man up i prefer being female thanks. sECOND WHY DO I GOTTA DO IT”

“i asked you on the date !!! you gotta do something!!!”

“i held your hand first!!”

“after i literally offered my hand to you”

“uGH fine come here”

“no i’m not gonna ‘come here’ you literally just made a disgusted noise at the thought of kissing me”

“it wasn’t at the thought of kissing you it was just at you”

“this isn’t helping at all”

you roll your eyes playfully and then yank him up by the collar of his shirt to press your forehead against his

“does this help?”

aND THEN YOU LAY ONE ON HIM ??????:$&:&;&;

QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE

he sighs against your lips and sits up a little more so he can reach you better, smoothing a hand up to cup the side of your jaw and neck

you pull away and his eyes are still closed

“hmmm,,, yeah”

you scoff and drop him back to half laying on your lap

“you’re such a dork”

“yeah but i’m your dork now so it’s embarrassing for both of us”

“aw i wouldn’t have it any other way <333”

“is it just me or was that sarcasm”

“just you <3333”

renjun, who has been rOOTING FOR YOU GUYS THIS ENTIRE TIME

screams when you call him that night lol

literally SCREECHES

chenle happens to be with him and screeches eVEN LOUDER

basically the whole group screams simultaneously they’ve been shipping it since day one

hyuck is a bit prideful so when you guys are out in public he’s not super affectionate but ,, when you’re not out

he’s wrapped around you like a koala and will never let go

you have to go pee? hold it

you’re dehydrated and dying? you can live off of his Love

your favorite activity to do together is BAKING because it never goes well no matter how hard you try

and although it usually ends in DISASTER it’s also a good time and afterwards duckie lets you curl up between his legs on the couch and nap uwu !

dating really didn’t change the dynamic between you two other than affection you still read each other to DUST on the regular lmao

no one gets too harsh tho bc you love each other and whatnot

ugh love ruins all the FUN doesnt it :/

donghyuck makes it his business to know exactly when it will rain and makes sure to be with you when it does

at the first sight of clouds he is in your house with board games and movies and snuggles to distract you !!! what a sweetheart

on days when it’s really bad you just climb into bed and bury your face in his chest while he talks about whatever comes to mind and distracts you

he also takes to slumping down and falling asleep on your shoulder whenever you have movie nights together and it’s so CUTE

his little heart shaped lips and his cheeks always end up smushed and he just looks adorable wow rip you

he’s obsessed with your cheeks he loves to cup your face while he talks to you and press gentle kisses to them during Sleepy Time or when you part ways in the school hallways

if he’s excited he’ll bound up behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek real hard and then start babbling about whatever’s got him so worked up

basically, hyuckie is a boy full of sunshine and passion and sarcasm and he’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for :’-)

503 notes · View notes

amazingviralinfo · 7 years

Link

The White House Correspondents Dinner is an opportunity for comedians to make a name for themselves and for presidents to show a sense of humor provided they decide to show up.

The WHCD has had performers since its initiation in 1921, including musicians and entertainers. In the 1980s, it became typical for comedians to host the affair.

Since then, the dinners have grown into broadcast events filled with an odd array of celebrities brought as guests of the media.

Hosts over the years have included everyone from young Conan OBrien and Jon Stewart in the 90s to Wanda Sykes and Cecily Strong in the Obama era.

The White House Correspondents Dinner is a show of goodwill between the president and the press and that tense relationship requires quite a bit of laughter to survive.

By the end of the night, everyone from the president to media personalities to politicians to reality TV show hosts is insulted.

Here are some of the best jokes and roasts from the past few decades:

1. Stephen Colbert goes off on George W. Bush in 2006.

This speech goes down as one of the most damn. performances of all time. Standingto Bush, Colbert bashed him for 16 minutes straight.

In one of the toughest moments (around 7:20 in the video), Colbert says about Bush,

I stand by this man, because he stands for things.

Not only for things, he stands on things, things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares.

And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo-ops in the world.

2. Obama shows up Jay Leno in 2010.

Its not always the comedians roasting the presidents. Sometimes its the opposite.

Over the years, Obama showed true comedic skill at the White House Correspondents Dinner, giving us all one more reason to love him.

In 2010, Leno hosted in the midst of that whole controversy between him and Conan OBrien.

After going on about his own lowered approval rating, Obama said (around 2:30 in the video),

I am glad that the only person whose ratings fell more than mine last year is here tonight.

Great to see you, Jay!

Im also glad that Im speaking first, because weve all seen what happens when somebody takes the time slot after Lenos.

3. Conan OBrien does a Bill Clinton impression in 1995.

Way back in 1995, OBrien hosted the White House Correspondents Dinner.

At one point (around 34 minutes), OBrien puts an edited version of Clinton up on the big screen and does an interview with an outlandish versionof the southerners big personality.

Clinton could not stop laughing.

4. Craig Ferguson bashes Dick Cheney in 2008.

Cheney, if you dont recall, was vice president under Bush from 2001 to 2009. So in 2008, the administration was getting ready to leave the White House.

So Ferguson (around 19:30 in the video), said,

The vice president is already moving out of his residency.

It takes longer than you think to pack up an entire dungeon.

5. Seth Meyers makes fun of Obama for not knowing where Osama bin Laden is, but the joke was on Meyers in 2011.

People think bin Laden is hiding in the Hindu Kush, but did you know that every day from four to five, he hosts a show on C-Span? Meyers joked.

Obama laughed gamely.

Little did anyone know, Obama knew exactly where bin Laden was. Hours later Obama would be watching the raid that would kill bin Laden.

6. Laura Bush interrupts her husband in 2005.

George is up there about to start a yarn when Laura walks up and takes over the microphone.

Not that old joke, the First Lady said (1:00). Not again.

The audience got up on their feet to applaud her. Bush continued,

Ladies and gentlemen, Ive been attending these dinners for years, and just quietly sitting there. Well, Ive got a few things I want to say for a change.

She showed off her own jokes, even getting some timely Desperate Housewives references in there.

7. Keegan-Michael Key plays Obamas anger translator in 2015.

President Obama is known for his composed demeanor. SoKey jumped in to show what was going on underneath that calm surface.

Between this and the 2011 dinner, we should all know to never play poker with Obama.

I mean, damn, thats some poker face.

8. Cedric the Entertainer jokes about Condoleezza Rice in 2005.

Cedric said Secretary of State Rices name is soulful and contains two people. He said,

Theres the Condi thats the person you see on television with, you know, the nice hair and very professional. Then theres the Leezza.

She the one with her hair wrapped up on the phone with her girlfriend watching BET

9. Obamaslams Donald Trumpand accidentally inspires him to run for president in 2011.

I know, I know, I know, Obama again. But hes so good!

So back in 2011, Obama went on a long stream about Trump and his racist birther movement.

Now, I know that hes taken some flak lately, but no one is prouder to put this birth certificate to rest than the Donald, Obama said. Now he can get to focusing on the issues that matter. Like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened at Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?

Obama went on to say about Trump,

All kidding aside, obviously we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience.

Just recently in an episode of Celebrity Apprentice, at the steakhouse, the mens cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha steaks, and there was a lot of blame to go around.

But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership, so ultimately you didnt blame Lil Jon or Meat Loaf. You fired Gary Busey.

These are the kinds of decisions that would keep me up at night.

Well handled, sir. Well handled.

Obama made more jokes about what Trump would be like as president.

According to legend, it was this public humiliation that led Trump to actually run for president (although Trump has denied that).

And so here we are, in 2017, with Trump as president, not going to the White House Correspondents Dinner.

0 notes

systemmalfucktion · 7 years

Text

oc asks stuff i stole and didnt proof read

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

ollie petrov, i chose the name ollie bc i liked it and pretrov is just one of the most common surnames in russia. the meaning isn’t important to his character at all

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

nah

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

he had a decent childhood and grew up in a high income family but suffered the Neglect from daddy. his fondest memories are w childhood friends, bad memory would be Neglect from daddy and mommy and living in fear

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

he loved his mama lots until she walked out on him, he didn’t understand why and he resented her A Lot, when he came to understand why she did it he thought she was a coward and resented her A Lot More. he never forgives her for it over the course of the entire story

he cared for his dad maybe when he was younger but after his mom left he was basically sent off elsewhere. he made no efforts to talk to his dad over the phone or ask for visits bc he was completely content with not seeing him. after a bit he literally just hates his dad bc of Plot Related Issues, when they have their own fucked up version of Dad to Son talk later he word vomits every thing he hates about him and the dads like “ya i figured this would happen the moment u came outta mamas pussy. dammit”

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

no sibs

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

he was really good in school and used it as an outlet to pour all his attention into bc he liked the satisfaction it gave him when he got good grades, he planned on going to college until Plot Related Issues derailed his life. he liked the English Language and didn’t care for like science n shit

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

when he was growing up he was just a friendly nice only kid so he liked to treat friends like his family so he was well liked, when he moved away he lost all contact with anyone there. friends he makes in russia when he first moves there are mostly also left behind, hes Big on leaving places thats 4 sure

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

no pets as a child, he likes animals and is a cat person but didnt see a reason to get a pet

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

animals are probably chill with him, i imagine any instance with animals is probably just a chill one

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

same w animals, hes just chill. kids probably would like him bc hes relaxed and not strict. he likes the idea of being traditional and starting a family but he truly doesn't see it happening for him given Plot

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

nope he eats whats put in front of him almost always

12. What is their favourite food?

probs like a soup or something warm and filling

13. What is their least favourite food?

Get Those Damn Avocados Away

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

when he went out to restaurants with his ma and pops as a child, or when way later his roommate Matt cooks for him when he was goin thru sum shit

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

he doesnt cook anything complicated at all, when shopping for himself its a lot of instant food bc hes cheap and doesnt care to put a lot of effort into his food. others either dont care or thinks its unhealthy

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

ive thought of this a lot and its mostly momentos, not that it matters bc every item he gets from someone is eventually left behind when he leaves russia as Symbolism. the collection serves almost no purpose bc of how often he Jumps Ship when it comes to relationships w other human beings but thats kinda the point

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

hes fine with pictures like selfies w ppl or scenery until hes in america, where he is convinced any pictures he takes or pictures hes in will end up being the reason hes found out. but in russia he liked taking silly pictures of just stuff around him. its like on instagram u dont know what someone looks like until u looked at what they were tagged in kinda, crappy over filtered pics of stuff around him like trees or windows. 1 of those instagrams....

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

he likes those shitty kind of john green novel types with the manic pixie dream with the wallflower type, indie music, documentaries or crime related, video games that are story driven rather than multiplayer. just ur average Introverted Bro

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

sci fi or anything BORING like that

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

doesnt care for musicals but likes music, he gets really focused when his favorite song comes on bc he wants to appreciate it if its on and hes not focused on it he will play it over again to Appreciate it.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

he has a temper but hides it well but if u manage to get him to actually lose him temper he will glare at u until its his turn to speak and argue u 1 response before he Fucks Right Off meaning if it doesnt end right there Boy’s Got A Grudge. it doesnt happen often bc hes not huge on confrontation, the reason why goes from social anxiety when he was 14 to PSTD when he was 16

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

i dont know about favorite insults but he manages to stay polite in the face of people, and bitches about them to sergei when he can

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

good memory and with faces for sure

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

he doesnt stay up very late all that often until he has a reason to (heists n whatnot) he sleeps on an old mattress twin sized, p soft

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

hed probably have normie humor b4 he met the shitpost that is (i had 2 rename her bc i forgot her fuckin russian name kms but this is a name on doulingo a lot so i wont forget hopefully) vera, her humor is like my mains shitposts so hed find that stuff funny after a bit. he doesnt make many jokes

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

hes good at hiding emotions but when hes happy abt something (thankful for ex) he’ll make it known to them, good times w friends he’ll basically mirror what they’re doing, happy when he’s by himself would be a jittery smiling Fool

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

lots make him sad, his daddy issues, roommate issues, mental health n shit. he cries a few times and tries to be secretive about it, over time he’s not that ashamed to cry in front of sergei given that he’s seen him cry a couple times. when he’s sad he’s even more quiet and sulky. if u made him sad and said u were sorry he’d say he accepted the apology but like the mood wouldn’t lighten up at all.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

1. big fear is probably getting hurt/attacked and being helpless (after the Great Stab), after that era he’s basically all up in self defense knowledge to prevent that turn out again. he’s scared of the ppl he deals to and eventually is scared of anyone he doesnt know well (in america, thats everyone outside of matty, joe, and austin) bc of the threat of getting caught by work peers who are looking 4 him.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

if he were to find out someones fear he wouldnt put it against them, if a situation came out where he could protect them from it he would try to do so casually. Nice Guy

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

he doesn’t exercise but if there were a case of him doing so pre would be a motivated Bro ready to get pumped and post would be tired dead man

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

he drank a bit in russia, hes the Underage Ollie. Underage Ollie is really clingy to sergei, the only guy he knows in the group of Bros around him, he tries to have a good time and laugh w everyone. hungover he’s sick and pitiful, boo hoo woe is me i feel like shit kinda way. when ollies around drunk sergei imagine this season of morty dealing with rick, like fed the fuck up but caring uknow?

Not Underage Ollie is a lil more fun, he went 2 sum clubs w austin only a few times ;) ;), hungover he was a less whiny version of Underage Ollie. he’s less caring when others are drunk around him bc its austin and austin drinks irresponsibly and is also is ex so SHRUG

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

he dresses comfort over fashion and owns like 3 shirts basically. clothes shopping is not really a priority for him at all, but he does appreciate some aesthetics just not on himself. he sleeps in his panties (undies) with a shirt, doesnt wear makeup. his hair is a mousy brown i guess? its not tamed at all hes got that anime boy protag gohan/luffy/ash hair

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

boxer briefs

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

hes a slight young twink man, and in his youth hes like 5′5 and it caps at like 5′10 maybe when he’s an adult. he’s ok w his body but everyones got insecurities

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

guilty pleasure are the john green type shitty novels and the ungulity pleasure is idk! slime vids or something

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

he’s good at writing i guess (4 school, in english n russian), he likes 2 read, and he can sing but its like generic male voice singing. its just ok

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

he likes 2 read and he’s fast i guess, n like i said the genre he likes is that shitty poetic adorkable fictional stuff

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

he likes when ppl are assertive, not really when assertive @ him, but when they can be assertive in general. he would love to be able to hold any power in any conversation he’s in between ages 0-18

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

emails and messages

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

he can stay awake without any energy boosters for a while

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

he’s gay, he likes Boys. he likes nice friendly boys who basically carry out social interactions and are good at not letting things get awkward (this goes for austin and matt and even vera). he needs a lot of space, like an unhealthy amount of space, Like Mayhaps There’s Something Wrong amount of space.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

goals: get outta the bis!

sacrifice: friend’s safety/livelihood!

secret ambition/guilty subconscious: get in bis and succeed 2 make papa proud! its a job handed to him that makes BANK and is basically a fallback if his goal doesnt work except he wont admit it to himself

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

no religion basically, he would probably not be an asshole about it but be kinda an asshole abt religion in private

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

he loves the winter bc he likes being bundled up, overcast sky, he’s good in the cold and he complains abt wet weather (rain and snow)

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

like he’s a troubled navie kid, and he’ll come around when it comes time for him to work. ollie doesnt know about the work he has to do when he’s older for a while, all he knows is that everyone is Preparing him for something. he knows he’s troubled but he doesnt think of himself as stubborn like other ppl do.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

no, most of the time he’s kinda awkward. it reflects him p good :(. he basically just goes “hey im ollie” and depending on who it is he’ll explain what he’s doing like “i have your coke” or “im austins friend. thanks for taking me in”

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

he’ll act mannerly and polite like he usually does, he likes getting dressed up fancy and being in a fancy space. not one for chit chat but he’s not Hating it

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

he doesnt care for parties i guess, he turns up at them to supply the good stuff and he tries to act like it’s a job, except usually the person he deals with is like ??? y so serious bitch? he’s dragged along by sergei p often, he doesnt complain in front of others but throws fits with him before or after

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Daddys Jacket. its just a winter coat that he wears a lot

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

accurate to what happsn in canon. his clothes, phone, chargers, wallet, and i think that would be it. hes pretty minimalist and doesnt want to be held down by stuff cus when he went to america he did so Swiftly.

0 notes

transient-tutor · 7 years

Text

DEREK: -is jake hanging out in the infirmary right now? because the dad-in-law is stopping by. it's not unusual, he's been coming and going the past few days to see dirk but tonight he's here for jake. he knocks on the door to get his attention before just letting himself in.- Yo Jake.

JAKE: -MOST DEFINITELY HANGING OUT IN THE INFIRMARY. Jake is taking an uneasy doze in one of the visitor cots a small distance aways from the comatose patient room. Jake didn't want to be a cumbersome presence to any medical staff that might come in and check on Dirk's vitals from time to time. Plus, just sitting in there was making him incredibly sad.-

JAKE: -At the sound of Derek's voice, Jake lifts his head up to squint. Feeling for his glasses and starting to roll to sit. Abeit with difficulty. The weariness wouldn't shake off his bones.- Derek?

JAKE: Youre here? -blinks and sets gaze on his father-in-law, worried all over again.- Something the matter? Is it dirk?

DEREK: -ambles over, shaking his head and waving a bandaged hand in dismissal.- Dont worry. Nothins up.

DEREK: -plops to take a seat beside him on the cot.- I stopped by to see you.

JAKE: -shoulders sag in relief and he sighs. The biggest dog sigh of them all. Eyeballs the bandaged hand.- Get into a scrum?

DEREK: -holds up his hand and sighs at it.- Yeah with a wall.

DEREK: It was a lil one sided.

JAKE: Oh well...

JAKE: Happens to the best of us. -And it does! Though Jake typically fought anything but a wall.-

JAKE: Youre here at least... having it checked and what not.

JAKE: Sos the responsibility. -rubs at his neck, making a bit of a face.- Bluh...

JAKE: Sorry derek. Im...

JAKE: A few gumptions short of a decent conversation. :(

DEREK: -claps a hand onto jake's shoulder and gives him a sympathetic pat.- No worries. Didnt really come here to conversate anyhow.

DEREK: Sorry to interrupt your beauty sleep but I wanted to get you outta here for a lil while.

JAKE: Oh uh... -It dawns on him that he's hardly spent any "family" time with Derek. As most affairs they cross paths in were in the company of other people. Also before that, Jake got entirely distracted by dating his son.- At this time of night?

JAKE: Where would we go? -He asks this question but he lives the married family life, Derek. Understand him.-

DEREK: -he gets it. he's been there. but he also adamantly refuses to grow up in many regards, so the world remains his oyster.- Anywhere.

DEREK: Life aint come to a screeching halt outside. If anything its bustling more than it has in who knows how long.

DEREK: Figured we could hop in that jeep of yours and see whats goin down out there. You up to it?

JAKE: Well its not but... -looks onward, probably in the direction Dirk's room is. Whines internally. Whines eternally.-

DEREK: -sighs through his nose. yeah, he gets that too.- Just to take our minds off things for a lil while.

DEREK: Itll be fun. Come on. -he's not above peer pressuring you, jake.-

JAKE: -It's easier to fold when Jake imagines that Derek is telling him to go, rather than suggesting they do.- Oh...

JAKE: Alright..

JAKE: But lets not be long. -pries himself off the bed, again. Reluctantly.-

DEREK: -claps him on the back before hopping to his feet again.- Thats the spirit.

DEREK: -takes the liberty of leading the way out the door. he doesn't really seem to be waiting around for him to catch up.-

JAKE: -Well that's fine... Jake knows where the Jeep is parked and is also the only one present with a key for it. He takes his time texting his friends in the infirmary about where he's heading off to. He meets up with Derek in the cargo bay.- Ill be frank...

JAKE: I havent thought to set foot outside since...

JAKE: My imprisonment i suppose.

DEREK: Thats reasonable.

DEREK: Cant say Ive had much need to. -leans on the jeep nonchalantly. he wants to drive it... but he will have to ask for the keys. use your words, derek.- But I hear its safer out there. People just rebuildin their lives.

DEREK: And thats cool. -holds out his hand.- Anyway gimme your keys to this thing. -he did it.-

JAKE: -There's a whole second Jake is reluctant to... before he passes them to Derek.-

JAKE: ...

JAKE: This was our wedding gift. -blurts. He can't help it. The associations are still there.- :(

DEREK: -snatches them up, then turns towards the vehicle.- ... Yeah. -HE BETTER NOT CRASH IT THEN. he's been known to do this with cars that don't belong to him.-

DEREK: -gets into the driver's side.- Its a good one. John got it for you right?

JAKE: -climbs in and sits in the passenger side. The sad faces intensify.- Yes. :C

DEREK: -damn, this is gonna be harder than he thought. probably not gonna be the wild night he was hoping for, but he can improvise.-

DEREK: -produces a six pack of booze from his sylladex and holds them out to him.- Have one. -yes, he's telling him to do this again.-

JAKE: Wh...

JAKE: -suddenly taking booze in his lap.- Were not driving under any influences are we?

DEREK: -jesus CHRIST.- Im not gonna. -for now-

JAKE: I think id have to stop you if we were sir! Family statuses aside. -HUFFS.-

DEREK: -smirks a little at him as he starts up the jeep.- Good to know.

DEREK: But I insist. You have at it.

DEREK: -and with that he TAKES OFF. the ship is landed somewhere out in the wilderness, but not too far from the minneapolis area still. plenty of municipalities to check out, but instead derek is taking a scenic route.-

JAKE: -dont mind if he rolls down the window. He likes the feel of the wind in his hair and especially his mustache.- Well...

JAKE: I watch plenty of television and im sure theres a law some place that reads there cant be open beverages in a moving vehicle!

JAKE: So im sure wherever were going it can wait. -sets the boozes down at his feet. That's that.-

DEREK: Oh come on its basically lawless out here.

DEREK: Man youre a real goodie two shoes. -says so with a good natured snicker. he's just trying to loosen him up... what a shame it's failing. maybe it's not in the cards. he pauses, hesitant to say what he's thinking but he's derek so he'll say it anyhow.-

DEREK: You must keep Dirk in line then huh?

JAKE: Shucks i wouldnt go that far. -feeling his face flushing in color. Absently, Jake fiddles with the ring on his finger.- Its just...

JAKE: Second nature i suppose? Thinking and...

JAKE: Doing my darndest to plan ahead. -he trails off. Feeling sad all over again.- But you dont want to hear this. We um.

JAKE: Ought to focus ahead and all. Coming all this way.

DEREK: -glances at him- Well the plan was to take it easy. Sure.

DEREK: But now I feel like talking about him too.

DEREK: Its nice hearin this stuff. -sobers up rather suddenly.-

DEREK: You know were not as close as Id like to be. Me and him.

DEREK: Guess I can kinda live vicariously through all yall that are when you talk about that sorta thing. What all is goin on in your day to day. Shit like that.

JAKE: Why not?

JAKE: The lack of closeness i mean.

DEREK: Well... -drums fingers on the steering wheel.- He dont like me too much.

DEREK: Guess weve been working on that but its slow going.

DEREK: I cant blame him anyways.

JAKE: Right... -If it helped Derek any, Jake had no reason to have hard feelings about him.- I cant imagine why. My impressions always been that youre as swell a fella as it gets!

JAKE: Whats there more to say about it? -But no really, he's curious.-

DEREK: -goes quiet for a moment but it's fine, he just scoffs.- People tell me there aint nothin left to say anymore.

DEREK: But I wasnt always a swell fella.

JAKE: Oh... -Truth be told, he had a hard time picturing anyone as totally a bad person. Jake glances at him, a glimmer of optimism for his father-in-law.- Its a dog eat dog world im told...

JAKE: Some folks do whats best they think is needed for survival. -looks away then, watching the passing scenery. So dark out...- I know its true for me.

DEREK: That dont always make it right.

DEREK: But that aint somethin you gotta worry about. Youre an indisputably good guy.

DEREK: -decides to make a turn down some dirt road.- And a great dad.

JAKE: Good... golly. Gulp. -if it's Derek's intention to make Jake blush again, it's working. Too much positivity in one sitting, his eyes are starting to water. Jake scrubs his face with the back of one hand. There they go, down some dirt road.-

DEREK: -IT ISNT EXACTLY, but he is making extra effort to be sincere with jake.- ... -glances at him.-

DEREK: Its true.

DEREK: Times like these really make or break a man.

DEREK: ... And Ill be real with you it is shit like this which made me a bad guy. I let that happen.

DEREK: Cuz I thought I had to do it alone.

DEREK: -drums fingers on the steering wheel.- Just remember youre not alone alright?

JAKE: I know it. Its not...

JAKE: Me im torn all over for. -swallows hard as it turns out his attempt to curb the water works failed. Jake sits there with tears dripping.-

DEREK: -frowns at the road ahead of him. he's not the best at expressing his sympathy, not always, but it's a little easier when some of that pain is shared. he reaches over to grip at jake's shoulder for a moment.- Yeah. I get it.

JAKE: -the simple gesture of squeezing his shoulder has Jake's heart wrenching even more. The most he can do is wring out a handkerchief to blow his nose into. Jake English doesn't go anywhere without it.-

DEREK: -this poor kid... he can't believe he carries around a handkerchief though. he clears his throat to suppress a chuckle about it and retracts his hand to place both back on the wheel.-

DEREK: I dont wanna make promises that itll be alright but... Youve got me and Riley and Dave and the whole goddamn clan to make shit easier where we can.

JAKE: -sniffles again and focuses on folding the hankerchief away. He'll have to wash this later.- Oh i know i...

JAKE: ...

JAKE: I feel just awful... thinking to ask when i cant even be fucking bothered to hold my own. -seems to be telling himself this more than Derek.- Ive held worse. Ive... endured worse.

JAKE: And so has everyone else. Its... -rests his elbow just outside the window, looking out again.- Magnanimously stupid of me. I shouldnt ask more of everyone.

DEREK: -brows knit as a familiar kind of pain wrenches at his insides. how does he even begin to explain how well he understands?-

DEREK: I know.

DEREK: When you wanna keep it together so nobody else has gotta add you to their long list of troubles.

DEREK: Even when you feel like youre fallin apart.

DEREK: Its frustratin.

DEREK: Like fuck. You should be able to handle this.

DEREK: You got to. -grips the steering wheel tight, but when he notices they've arrived at their impromptu destination, he loosens his hold and slows the vehicle to a stop next to one of the many lakes around here.-

DEREK: -turns to look at jake.- Youre a strong person Jake.

DEREK: I know you got this.

DEREK: But I aint offerin my help cuz I think you need it.

DEREK: Im doin it cuz youre family.

#gunhardyTemerity #in which derek steals jake for hang outs #this is old back when dirk was first in his coma

0 notes

weatheringquerist-blog · 7 years

Text

[[The sound clearly came from the infirmary, but further shouts of surprise do not continue. In fact, it is eerily silent and moreso than usual.]]

DAVENFORTH: -Okay, so maybe he wasn't actually able to place that scream. Regardless, Davenforth wasn't sleeping well. A combination of a lot of things, a lot feelings he wasn't processing correctly...or at all. Keeping busy would help right? He rounds the corner into the infirmary, hair poofy and without its proper treatment.-

DAVENFORTH: Whats goin on here

QIRIN: =She is in the hallway in the process of stepping from wall where in her surprise she had flattened herself against it and knocked over several instruments on a medical cart. Lowering the hand she had thrown in front of her by pure reflex, she briefly rested it upon her chest then allowed it to drift down to her side.=

QIRIN: =Qirin lifted a brow to him in greeting as though she hadn't just emitted the noise.= Pleasant night, Davenforth? =On the floor in front of her in a pile of linen which had spilled from the closet rose a teal colored grub that is chirruping happily, waving her forelegs and slowly waddling her way toward the carapacian.=

DAVENFORTH: -Okay wow, that's a lot of commotion for...a grub? He raises a brow at her.- Thought someone was being murdered

DAVENFORTH: Looks like condy is enlistin em younger and younger

DAVENFORTH: Cuter too

DAVENFORTH: -Squats down to the grub- A lil messy though

QIRIN: =She knelt to the ground beside him as the grub turned her head towards Davenforth, lifting her head to sniff the air= She is not supposed to be here. Her caretakers must be wondering where she is. I must notify Miss Raziga immediately. How long has it been since we departed from Avalon? =As she continues, her voice is gradually getting more strained. She is calm however, despite hiding a great deal of panic. =

DAVENFORTH: Long enough that we cant afford to turn the ship around to bring her back -Welp....more grubs. He holds his hand out to the tiny-

DAVENFORTH: So youre not a tiny assassin huh

DAVENFORTH: Thats good because youre really sloppy

QIRIN: =Small, extended whine of despair=

QIRIN: Truly, a criminal mastermind. This was her plan all along, I know it.

GRUB: =She's squinting under the bright infirmary lights and gingerly bats at Davenforth's hand, i.e. the blurry blob in front of her=

QIRIN: This one has been following me from the brooding caverns since the Union's physicians were assigned to give the little ones health checks. I should have known something was amiss when she did not appear at the ship for her scheduled stalking within a week. =her shoulders droop= I suppose I had hoped she had finally lost interest and another lusus had selected her under their keeping.

DAVENFORTH: -Congratulations grub, you have a hand. Davenforth squints at her behind his shades- So you never told anyone she kept sneaking off

GRUB: =still squinting, she hooked her other foreleg around his hand and dragged herself forward. His hand is going into her mouth, and she subsequently began to nibble at it.=

QIRIN: Of course I did. Dirk has known of these occurances since he caught me returning one day. At the time, I told no one as it was merely a minor issue and I felt it was unnecessary to inconvenience staff. The caretakers of the mothergrub know. Some of them thought this to be quite funny.

DAVENFORTH: -Ugh...gross...this is his life now- Looks like shes got somethin in common with jin

QIRIN: Jin? =She's a little out of the loop=

GRUB: =Now that the meat has been sufficiently tenderized, it is time to scale this mountain.=

DAVENFORTH: -Just gonna let this grub climb on him.- Uh yeah

DAVENFORTH: Me and lif have a grub

DAVENFORTH: Thing just kept stalkin her so she decided to keep it shes a limeblood

DAVENFORTH: A statistical impossibility

DAVENFORTH: Like me being a parent

DAVENFORTH: Which apparently i am now

QIRIN: =Her eyes trail from Davenforth to the grub, who is now crawling up the length of his arm=

QIRIN: =she snickered= Congratulations. It should have been expected with the way impossibilities seem possible on this ship. Trolls caring for the own, mystical abilities, coming back from dead. Even you, Dave, becoming a guardian.

DAVENFORTH: Yeah no shut up im not supposed to be a parent

QIRIN: And why is that?

GRUB: =Now perched upon his shoulder, she continues her exploration by sticking a leg in his ear=

DAVENFORTH: -This is fine. Except it's not, and he cranes his head away like please no.-

DAVENFORTH: Because ive got no right bein apart of a kids formative years all im gonna do is fuck it up i dont even know how to take care of a kid

GRUB: =when he moves, she makes a mrrrrrp! noise=

QIRIN: ... =You and me both, Dave=

QIRIN: I am sure you would make an excellent caretaker. If not, there are many on this ship from who you can take advice.

QIRIN: Your namesake, for instance. He has a child of his own.

DAVENFORTH: First things first im his namesake

DAVENFORTH: Im not askin my little nephew about baby pointers

QIRIN: You will have to forgive me for that slip up. Blame it on the fact that I am still reeling from the shock of a grub leaping at my face from what was supposed to be a harmless linen closet. =She laughed again=

QIRIN: Are you betting your child's life on a matter of pride, Dave? ^_^

DAVENFORTH: No cuz lifera is a great mom the kid is halfway in good hands

QIRIN: And why not make "the kid full way in good hands"?

DAVENFORTH: Because my hands aint good for raisin kids -Speaking of, he plucks up the grub into his hands and boops her nose-

QIRIN: =eyes those hands= You are not providing sufficient evidence to prove your theory correct.

DAVENFORTH: Playing with a kid and actually helping them grow without fuckin em up are two different things

GRUB: =looks astonished by the boop and waggles her legs around trying to find the source of what did it=

QIRIN: =she glances at the bby troll, slightly concerned. The eyedrops hadn't improved her vision problems, and Qirin wouldn't know more information until pupation.=

QIRIN: You have barely begun. How are you so sure of this?

DAVENFORTH: -Squints at the little grubby and places his hand over her eyes, kind of shielding it from the light-

DAVENFORTH: Because its me and if theres one thing i know its me

GRUB: =squints a little less=

QIRIN: =she watches this interaction closely. He wouldn't be a good father my ass.=

QIRIN: So. What you are saying is that you have already resolved to failure and you are not even going to attempt it?

DAVENFORTH: Its the light thats botherin you huh yeah its stupid bright in here -Bye Qirin-

QIRIN: Why is it when I come close to making my point, you divert the subject?

QIRIN: =She huffs and gets up to stand to fix the lighting situation, because he may be onto something there.=

DAVENFORTH: Whats that rami

QIRIN: =She flicks off the lights to that portion of the hallway and dims the others to the floor lights so that they arent sitting in complete darkness.=

QIRIN: I am trying to state you will not know until you try, and there is absolutely no harm in asking for advice from those who know the subject of childrearing.

QIRIN: =she began picking up the linen that had fallen to the floor, neatly stacking them back in the closet again.=

QIRIN: You can either accept that there are certain subjects of which you are unaware, and pursue sources of knowledge to rectify that. Or you can make no attempt and remain ignorant. ^_^

DAVENFORTH: Pffft and here you are preachin again look i know what i know and i know what i dont

DAVENFORTH: Didnt know a damn thing about being my own manager and i figured that out

DAVENFORTH: If youre so high and mighty as a parent then why dont you take care of this one instead of screamin bloody murder

QIRIN: =she seems aghast at the prospect.=

QIRIN: Dave, I know that I may sound—

GRUB: =At the adjustment of the lighting, the grub's eyes turn spherical and she chirrs. Nibbling Davenforth's fingers in thanks, she makes a subsequent beeline for the Carapacian.=

QIRIN: =eyes the grub almost fearfully= ....incredibly...hypocritical....

GRUB: =starts crawling up Qirin's skirts=

QIRIN: But I literally know nothing of the subject. When I was cloned, childrearing was not written into the construct of my DNA. I have no intrinsic knowledge of how to care for the upbringing of my own kind, and I especially do not have the knowledge of how to care for children of another species.

GRUB: =Slides back down the fabric of her leg=

QIRIN: =slightly distressed= Oh, little one, I do not fit the requirements necessary to be your caretaker. D:

QIRIN: Surely, there are others far more qualified.

GRUB: =tries climbing up her leg again=

DAVENFORTH: No one is born with child testing in their dna

DAVENFORTH: Besides

DAVENFORTH: You wont know know until you try and theres no harm in asking for advice from those who know

DAVENFORTH: You can either accept that there are certain subjects of which you are unaware and pursue sources of knowledge to rectify that or you can make no attempt and remain ignorant

DAVENFORTH: B|

QIRIN: :(

QIRIN: I admit I dug my own grave there.

DAVENFORTH: Theres always someone more qualified

DAVENFORTH: Just because i think im gonna fuck the kid up dont mean i wont try

QIRIN: Well.

QIRIN: That is good, then.

QIRIN: Effort is always commendable.

QIRIN: However Dave, this is an entirely different situation that I—

GRUB: =manages to crawl up her side and into the crook of one of Qirin's arms=

QIRIN: =her arm automatically (and subconciously) moved to cradle the grub.=

GRUB: =She snuggles in, just wanting to be held.=

QIRIN: =horrified=

QIRIN: This is a manner of...of...of mistaken identity! I am no lusus!

#in which a stowaway #tenaciousgodliness

0 notes

splendidshinobi · 3 years

Text

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 16-20

well we're back after a short break from last episode's explosive discoveries

episode 16: that which is lost

lust plz fuery has never spoken to a hottie before

you know what i need an alcohol

pause

ok im back

roy r u a masochist

bradley youre lying about marcoh

wait...why does bradley think the philosophers stone doesnt exist?? um

omg why is team mustang running their mouths rn

edward that was SNAPPPPPPPPPPYY

mustang please shut up

armstrong is top tier

always has been

alphonse is as precious as ever i see

yes tell him edward cause 2003 roy mustang cut off my big toe

nina flashbacks ope

scar be holding kids hostage now? aight....

damn marcoh whad did u do!!!!!! homie stabbed lust

it wont work but im proud of the effort!!!

alphonse is lost???? not my son!!!!

a farm boy hello farm boy

drawing passed down the armstrong line for generations

oooooh ed droppin the ishval bomb

GIRLY JUST STOLE HIS LEG???? MAAm

how did he not feel the nerves coming apart from his body

also girl that wont work for your dad hes probably 85 times taller than ed

al getting deep with farm boy

ALPHONSE

ED HOW DID YOU REATTACH THAT LEG YOURSELF

whats going on here anyway

just to talk about ptsd and stuff ig??

why does ed just tell anyone now that al lost his body sir keep it to yourself

HAHAHAHA "YES????"

i love them

episode 17: house of the waiting family

"no family waiting" edward...pinako and winry are rolling over in their graves

awww light purple worksuit love the look win!!!

proud of u for growing ed

ed your heart eyes are showing

this episode is so far like the same as fmab 6 so i feel like theres not much to say

oh a weird cow and a girl

nelly or whoever has a big ASS FOREHEAD

oh the beginnings of al's identity crisis i see

hahaha armstrong

AL OF COURSE YOU HAD FRIENDS BABYDOLL

where did armstrong come from

sry i stopped paying attention for a sec

SEE THIS IS WHY I WAS LIKE HOW TF DID ED CONNECT HIS LEG HIMSELF LAST EP

ed and winry are god tier ship no matter the medium

major spaz

oh winry is gonna open that watch

i guess they dont need to go to freaking rush valley and have paninya steal it if they already did the birth arc with gracia instead ugh

ed were you showering in your boxers

my son is so stupid

GO OOOOOOFFFFFFFF WINRY ROCKBELL!!!!!!!!

awwww theyre at the house

omg winry's got the light they were talking about

she loves them so much

dont forget 3 oct 10?????? nah 11 homie

anywayyyyy

episode 18: marcoh's notes

before we start ROSS AND BROSH MAYBE PLEASE???? wouldnt put it past them to take them out

huh???? lust looks like who now

side note my sister, who is watching brotherhood for the first time, had the idea to make gluttony shaped stress balls like HOW CUTE????

anyways

edward is an absolute nerd

"not as if the library is going anywhere" sure sure dont jinx it armstrong

OMG ROSS AND BROSHHHHHHH

HEART EYES

hahahaha edward on the floor

"I THOUGHT YOU'D BE FULLER AND MORE METAL" BROSH PLEASE!!!!!!

oops bye bye library

guess we're off to see sheska again

sheska is definitely a lesbian

i mean shes like amestrian velma dinkley

sir r u really gonna transmute the ashes

i-jesus

i mean i think of this everytime i see sheska i think about how crazy having a photographic memory would be but how crazy would having a photographic memory be

s2g hughes' eyes are literally like highlighter green

why is alphonse such an angel!!!!!!!

whenever hughes goes off by himself i get nervous because 03 can do anything...like expect the unexpected when it comes to 03 honestly

so um is lust....scar's brother's gf or something?

oh i forgot i was reacting and now the episode is over hahaha okay

episode 19: the truth behind truths

the kids have it ROUGH

maria ross mom friend vibes rn

oh my god edward

the tea cup...al's face...my kids

03 ed is so depressed my god

both ed and al need a hug

ooooofffff 5th lab

i guess we're gonna see barry again since they decided to introduce alive human barry for shits and giggles

the boys are gonna SHIT. THEIR. PANTS. when homie shows up

hold on

aRE THEY SAYING BLOCK???

yEAH

I googled it and Brosh is also pronounced as "Bloch" which i guess makes sense

so thrown off but im dumb as heell so

hahahaha with the barbed wire

hi scar ya too late pal

kinda vibin with these background tunes

spoopy

ummm scar what r u DOIN

what the f alchemy is that

oh great scar is going to the 5th ig

envy i missed u!!!

oh imitating my son? rude

“the guards are idiots” well here we go slicer bros and barry

to be honest if i ran into a booby trap smorgasbord in real life i would Die

there they are the armored palz

THE BOULDER AND HE’s SMALL

HAHAHAHA

um was that

greed? lying down in a purplish aura thingy?

um sir?

*rewinds 10 seconds to check*

yeah

number 48 is kinda snatched though???

gasp! a blood seal!! what who knew!!

episode 20: soul of the guardian

im just impatiently waiting for the barry reveal at this point

but ed and 48 are just doing their thing ya know

for an episode with two fights, they sure do a looooottttt of talking

yessssss here we go barry the chopper

ok i do prefer this in manga/fmab canon though

cause its so funny when barry is offended that al had never heard of him and he thinks he this prolific serial killer and al is like

well um im from the country sooo

but anyways yeah i totally forgot he kidnapped winry in this what an odd choice fr

AL’S FACE HHAHAHA

“no im not a crook” of course not alphonse

tbt to my first time watching fmab and being like “...kyo????” as soon as barry started talking

here comes lil slicer

there he is!!! bros just being bros

i TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT SCAR JESUS CHRIST

um where’d he go he was just here

seriously where tf did he go

gonna have to rewind in a second but maybe im just stupid

actually i am stupid thats a well established point

oh here we go al’s full fledged identity crisis subplot

oh baby

ok now that ive got to the end lemme rewind and see if i actually saw scar or if i blacked out for a hot sec

OHHHHHHH HE WAS PICTURING SCAR’S DESTRUCTION STRATEGY it was a lil baby flashback

yeah i truly am dumb

we’ve known for awhile now

#carol watches fma03 #carol's remaining brain cells #fma 03 #fullmetal alchemist #ive been watching like 1 a day not that anyone cares #THUMBS UP EMOJI

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