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withthingsunreal · 3 years

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hey guys

did y’all know there’s a limit to how many links you can have in a post

adventure time masterpost part one

♥=my favourites Ω=significant plot (though sometimes this is not immediately obvious) ♪=a song happens ♫=a personal fave song happens ¿=just don’t try to think about it too hard okay

SEASON SIX

Ω 6x01/6x02 - Wake Up/Escape from the Citadel [WATCH] - Finn and Jake need to get to the Citadel, and Prismo agrees to help. But the Lich beats them to it, and it seems he's got some plans of his own.

♥ 6x03- James II [WATCH] - An excess of James.

6x04- The Tower [WATCH] [alt]- Finn's missing his arm, so he decides to build a tower into space so he can punch his dad and steal HIS arm instead. Solid plan, right?

¿ 6x05 - Sad Face [WATCH] - A circus, and a clown.

♪ 6x06 - Breezy [WATCH] - Finn's flower isn't doing so well, and Finn himself isn't feeling anything, but his new bee friend Breezy wants to help. Stay tuned for spook (me, that's me) starting a petition to retitle this show 'what the hell did I just watch.'

¿ 6x07 - Food Chain [WATCH] - Finn and Jake learn about the food chain by, um, living it.

6x08- Furniture & Meat [WATCH] - Mo' treasure, mo' problems.

6x09 - The Prince Who Wanted Everything [WATCH] - LSPrincess has a story to share with the Ice King, and LSPrince has a lesson to learn from Fionna the Human.

6x10 - Something Big [WATCH] - Something something Maja something Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant something something feelings?? Listen I don't know what I'm watching anymore ok

♪ 6x11 - Little Brother [WATCH] - Shelby has an accident, ends up with a little brother, and turns to Jake for brotherly advice. Well, giving Finn a sword worked out pretty well...

6x12 - Ocarina [WATCH] - Kim Kil Whan buys the treehouse and tries to teach Jake a lesson about responsibility. It goes suuuper well.

6x13 - Thanks for the Crabapples, Giuseppe [WATCH] - Ice King and his fellow offbeats go on a wizard road trip to form their own secret society.

6x14- Princess Day [WATCH] - Breakfast Princess gets rude with LSP. Mistake! Time for her and Marceline to mess up the Breakfast Kingdom way bad.

6x15 - Nemesis [WATCH] - There's a great evil in the Candy Kingdom which must be stopped.

6x16 - Joshua and Margaret Investigations [WATCH] - Finn and Jake's parents fought monsters, too! Even when their mom was way super about-to-pop pregnant, apparently.

6x17 - Ghost Fly [WATCH] - Jake kills a fly, because flies are disgusting. But ghost flies seem to be worse. Oops?

6x18 - Everything's Jake [WATCH] - Bender searches inside himself and finds that Fry has been with him all along Jake goes on an inner journey, but like, literally. not really spiritually so much.

♥ 6x19 - Is That You? [WATCH] - Jake and Finn mourn Prismo, and then things get super bananas up in their dreamspace.

6x20 - Jake the Brick [WATCH] - Jake observes nature as he spends some time as just another brick in the wall.

6x21 - Dentist [WATCH] - Finn's tooth is in real bad shape, and he has to face facts: it is time for him to Go Dentist.

6x22 - The Cooler [WATCH] - There's a crisis in the Flame Kingdom, and FP makes the (objectively terrible??) decision to turn to PB for help.

6x23 - Pajama Wars [WATCH] - Sleepover in the Candy Kingdom! Nothing terrible is happening.

Ω 6x24 - Evergreen [WATCH] - Master Evergreen and his lizardy minion Gunther attempt to save the world.

¿Ω 6x25 - Astral Plane [WATCH] - Finn goes on an astral adventure, and sees some junk that may be relevant soon.

6x26 - Gold Stars [WATCH] - Sweet P starts school, and makes some new (terrible) friends.

6x27 - The Visitor [WATCH] - Finn follows his dream from Astral Plane and finds his least favourite massive disappointment at the end of the trail.

6x28 - The Mountain [WATCH] - It’s a Lemongrab episode. I don’t know anymore.

6x29 - Dark Purple [WATCH] - Susan Strong and some brave hyoomans on a rescue mission.

6x30 - The Diary [WATCH] - Fandom can be a consuming thing. TV finds an old diary and gets a little too into it.

6x31 - Walnuts & Rain [WATCH] - Finn and Jake get separated and go on different (weird) journeys.

6x32 - Friends Forever [WATCH] - Ice King tries to make himself some new friends. It goes terribly.

6x33 - Jermaine [WATCH] - After Jake has a shared dream with Jermaine, the boys go to visit their brother, who’s still living in their childhood home.

6x34 - Chips and Ice Cream [WATCH] - Chips, chips chips chips. Ice cream ice cream. (A travelling performer passes his curse on to Jake. It doesn’t go well.)

6x35 - Graybles 1000+ [WATCH] - Graybles, again, some more. Apparently the Candy Kingdom is still around however much further in the future, and someone’s still putting up string lights at Marceline’s. So there’s that.

6x36 - Hoots [WATCH] - The Cosmic Owl gets distracted by a mystery lady’s pretty set of tailfeathers.

6x37 - Water Park Prank [WATCH] - Finn and Jake (and the Ice King) spend the day at the water park.

6x38 - You Forgot Your Floaties [WATCH] - Magic Man, up to his usual biz, but this time he’s getting a helping hand from Betty. No way this will go horribly wrong??

6x39 - Be Sweet [WATCH] - For some inexplicable reason, Tree Trunks thinks LSP is a good choice for a babysitter. Yikes.

6x40 - Orgalorg [WATCH] - Gunther and the Gunts throw a houseparty.

6x41 - On the Lam [WATCH] - Martin finds another group of adorable creatures to try to exploit. yay.

6x42/6x43 - Hot Diggity Doom/The Comet [WATCH] - An election in the Candy Kingdom, and an impending catastrophe.

SEASON SEVEN

7x01 - Bonnie & Neddy [WATCH] - The King of Ooo continues his efforts to be the worst. PB has to help someone important to her get back to where he belongs.

7x02 - Varmints [WATCH] - Bubblegum tries to protect her pumpkin patch; Marceline lends a hand.

7x03 - Cherry Cream Soda [WATCH] - A candy citizen comes back from the dead, causing some complications for those he’d left behind.

7x04 - Mama Said [WATCH] - While out on a mission for the King of Ooo, Finn and Jake run into Billy’s ex-gf Canyon and decide to help her out instead.

7x05 - Football [WATCH] - BMO tries to do something nice for a friend. It does not go well.

7x06/7x07 - Stakes: Marceline the Vampire Queen/Everything Stays [WATCH] - Marceline has a favour to ask of PB, which results in her reflecting on the last thousand years of her life.

7x08 - Stakes: Vamps About [WATCH] - Marceline’s old nemeses are back, and she’s absolutely down to take ‘em all on again.

7x09 - Stakes: The Empress Eyes [WATCH] - Targeting the Ice King? Possibly not the greatest plan a vampire could have.

7x10 - Stakes: May I Come In [WATCH] - Jake finds his courage.

7x11 - Stakes: Take Her Back [WATCH] - Marceline’s out of commission, so it’s up to Finn and Jake to take on The Moon.

7x12 - Stakes: Checkmate [WATCH] - Four down, one to go.

♫ 7x13 - Stakes: The Dark Cloud [WATCH] - Marceline has to decide what she’s fighting for.

7x14/7x15 - The More You Moe/The Moe You Know [WATCH (watermarked)] - It's BMO's birthday, and a special guest is coming with a special mission for our lil robot buddy. yay?

7x16 - Summer Showers [WATCH] - Viola helps LSP put on a play, and Jake is super proud.

7x17 - Angel Eyes [WATCH] - BMO bribes Finn and Jake into playing cowboys and bandits.

7x18 - President Porpoise Is Missing! [WATCH] - An undersea authority figure appears to have vanished.

7x19 - Blank-Eyed Girl [WATCH] - Urban legends may or may not be baloney, and may or may not be out to get you.

7x20 - Bad Jubies [WATCH] - One heck of a storm brewing up some real nasty vibes.

7x21 - King's Ransom [WATCH] - Ice King isn't going to let anything stop him from rescuing his best bud, and Finn and Jake have got his back.

7x22 - Scamps [WATCH] - Finn rehabilitates some bad seeds.

7x23 - Crossover [WATCH] - Prismo needs Finn and Jake’s help with a junked-up timeline.

7x24 - The Hall of Egress [WATCH] - A dungeon keeps hitting the reset button every time Finn tries to exit.

7x25 - Flute Spell [WATCH] - Does Finn have a new girl in his life, or is he working on a different sort of magic?

7x26 - The Thin Yellow Line [WATCH] - It Is Okay To Be You, ft. The Banana Guards

7x27 - Broke His Crown [WATCH] - Bonnie and Marcie try to have a dinner date with the IK, but his crown is up to some weird biz.

7x28 - Don’t Look [WATCH] - Finn fails to follow the literal only instruction given.

7x29 - Beyond the Grotto [WATCH] - Sea lard rescue 911

7x30 - Lady Rainicorn of the Crystal Dimension [WATCH] - TV finds a weird box.

7x31 - I Am A Sword [WATCH] - FinnSword gets straight up hijacked.

7x32 - Bun Bun [WATCH] - Remember how Cinnamon Bun used to be... just, like, generally bad? at doing things? okay that but smaller.

7x33 - Normal Man [WATCH] - Normal Man needs some hero help to return Glob to Mars.

7x34 - Elemental [WATCH] - An... ice... princess? kinda??

7x35 - Five Short Tables [WATCH] - Fionna and Cake try to make some artsy-ass flapjacks.

7x36 - The Music Hole [WATCH] - Music happens, some of it on a stage.

7x37 - Daddy-Daughter Card Wars [WATCH] - Charlie helps her Papa work through some card-related stuff.

Ω 7x38/7x39 - Preboot/Reboot [WATCH] - Finn, Jake, and Susan visit a very scientific establishment.

SEASON EIGHT

8x01 - Two Swords [WATCH] - So when a FinnSword and a Grass Sword meet... sometimes some stuff can go the hell down.

8x02 - Do No Harm [WATCH] - Finn and Grass Finn try stuff out.

8x03 - Wheels [WATCH] - Jake tries to connect with his granddaughter by proving he’s cool.

8x04 - High Strangeness [WATCH] - Tree Trunks loves... revolution (｡•`_´•｡)

8x05 - Horse and Ball [WATCH] - James Baxter rides again.

8x06 - Jelly Beans Have Power [WATCH] - PB tries to get a handle on the elemental powers thing.

Ω 8x07 - Islands: The Invitation [WATCH] - Susan sent out a distress signal, and a response has arrived.

8x08 - Islands: Whipple the Happy Dragon [WATCH] - Hazardous seas, or Here There Be Dragons.

Ω 8x09 - Islands: Mysterious Island [WATCH] - Finn gets separated from his friends, but makes a new one.

Ω 8x10 - Islands: Imaginary Resources [WATCH] - BMO helps Finn and Jake get acquainted with the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of virtual reality gaming.

Ω♪ 8x11 - Islands: Hide and Seek [WATCH] - Memories of island life.

Ω 8x12 - Islands: Min & Marty [WATCH] - Minerva Campbell and Martin Mertens get to know each other.

Ω 8x13 - Islands: Helpers [WATCH] - Finn meets his mom.

Ω 8x14 - Islands: The Light Cloud [WATCH] - The conflicting desires to protect your child while also allowing them to grow and thrive.

SEASON NINE

9x01 - Orb [WATCH] - Some very normal dreamscapes on the return journey to Ooo.

9x02 - Elements: Skyhooks [WATCH] - The boys make it home but things are looking... different.

9x03 - Elements: Bespoken For [WATCH] - The Ice King has a story to tell about a hot date he had, and also tangentially the current state of things.

9x04 - Elements: Winter Light [WATCH] - A visit to the Ice Kingdom.

9x05 - Elements: Cloudy [WATCH] - Finn needs to calm down, and Jake needs to potty.

9x06 - Elements: Slime Central [WATCH] - It's Slime Time baybee

9x07 - Elements: Happy Warrior [WATCH] - A normal one in the Flame Kingdom.

9x08 - Elements: Hero Heart [WATCH] - LSP tries to help Finn listen to his hero heart, while PB just wants everyone to be a little bit sweeter.

9x09 - Elements: Skyhooks II [WATCH] - Let's Get Lumpy.

9x10 - Abstract [WATCH] - Jake is wary of some changes in Jermaine.

9x11 - Ketchup [WATCH] - Marceline and BMO catch up on recent events.

9x12 - Fionna and Cake and Fionna [WATCH] - Ice King gets to hang with the REAL Fionna.

9x13 - Whispers [WATCH] - Finn and Fern help Sweet Pea with some nightmares.

9x14 - Three Buckets [WATCH] - Finn and Fern spend some uhhh quality time together

SEASON TEN

10x01 - The Wild Hunt [WATCH] - Huntress Wizard needs some assistance, and Finn has some junk to work through.

10x02 - Always BMO Closing [WATCH] - BMO and Ice King team up to become a door-to-door salesman.

10x03 - Son of Rap Bear [WATCH] - FP needs to work on her rap game.

10x04 - Bonnibel Bubblegum [WATCH] - Family junk is complicated.

10x05 - Seventeen [WATCH] - It’s Finn’s birthday! Let’s get Arthurian up in here.

10x06 - Ring of Fire [WATCH] - The marvelous misadventures of Tree Trunks.

10x07 - Marcy + Hunson [WATCH] - Marceline’s dad is in town and totally embarrassing her again.

10x08 - The First Investigation [WATCH] - Finn and Jake look into some haunted happenings at Joshua and Margaret Investigations

10x09 - Blenanas [WATCH] - Finn wants the highest possible authority to weigh in on whether or not he is funny.

10x10 - Jake the Starchild [WATCH] - Jake’s gotta save the world. No, a different one.

10x11 - Temple of Mars [WATCH] - Jermaine and Finn gotta rescue Jake, and in the process maybe help Betty work through some things.

10x12 - Gumbaldia [WATCH] - Peace talks.

♥Ω♫ 10x13 - Come Along With Me [WATCH] - Everything stays, but it still changes.

#adventure time #maybe i will also figure out how to make the folder accessible #that's probably easier right?#though less fun bc i am sure you all love my summaries #right #right guys #anyway here it is #done at last #so we can all cry about it together

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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survey from diggitydoo

Have you ever felt a baby kick? I might have when my mom was pregnant with my brother, but I don’t remember.

What color pants/shorts are you wearing? I’m wearing black leggings.

When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? My Disneyland trip back in February. It still trips me out that was this year, it feels like forever ago and SO much changed shortly after. It’s wild.

What was the scariest moment of your life? I’ve had more than one, but some were pre-surgery fears. It’s a very scary time and my mind always went to the worst places. My surgeries were long and invasive, too. During one of them my blood pressure dropped really low and my body was just in freakout mode for a few days after the surgery. Like, I had to have a few EKGs and a cardiologist check me out cause my heart rate was high (the EKGs came back fine, though, and the cardiologist couldn’t find anything wrong) and they were worried about my kidneys at one point. I think my body was just under a lot of stress from the type of surgery and the conditions beforehand (I had been sick for one, but also the prep required being totally cleaned out and I think I was dehydrated because of that).

Have you ever heard of Leonard Cohen? Doesn’t ring a bell.

Pancakes or flapjacks? Aren’t they the same thing?

What kind of computer are you on? I’m on my Macbook Air.

Do you eat Chinese food? If so, what's your favorite dish? I like chow mien, egg rolls, potstickers, and crab rangoon.

What are you usually doing at midnight? Either scrolling through my social medias, reading, or watching TV.

Have you ever developed feelings for a friend, but you were already with someone? No.

If so, how did it turn out?

Give me your brief definition of love. I don’t wanna.

What is the most beautiful part of the human body, male or female? Hmm. Eyes.

What kind of shoes do you wear? Adidas.

What is the worst thing you've ever done when you were really angry?I just get really frustrated and upset and I shut down and cry. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? My pain medication. And for the next 10 days this antibiotic. It’s bad because I’ve had it since yesterday for an infection I’ve had for at least two weeks that we know of and the reason why I’ve been feeling sick, but I’ve yet to take it. :X I can’t be a normal human who can take pills, I have to crush mine and I’m dreading how horrible that’s going to be. I’m used to my pain medication at this point and it’s not really that bad. But more than that, it has to be spaced apart from my pain medication because it possibly can increase the intensity of my pain med, potentially causing breathing problems, so I’m like oh yay that sounds fun. Sigh. My doctor insists it’s fine, especially with my dosage, but it was scary to find that out. It’ll most likely be fine, but I’ve gotten so paranoid about stuff in recent years that I didn’t used to be about before. I want to start feeling better, but ugh. :/ I’m gonna take the plunge in like an hour.

Do you like the smell of coconuts? I do. Not the taste, though.

What is the heaviest you think you can lift? 5lbs? haha.

Do you take Tums? Nah, I just take Pepto. I’ve taken them in the past, but they’re chalky and disgusting and sometimes made me gag, so bleh. Apart from their intended purposes, it had been recommended to me by a doctor to take them for increasing calcium cause they have a lot of that, but yeah I didn’t do that much.

Have you ever walked on a pier at the beach? Yes.

How about under one? No.

At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? I think when I was like 9.

Do you feel that way around anyone now? No. It’s been a few years since I’ve felt that or had feelings for anyone in the romantic sense. What does that feel like again?

Do you ever talk to yourself or think deep thoughts while on the toilet? I think about stuff, sure.

Do you ever sing to yourself? Yeah.

What is a sound that relaxes you? Certain ASMR triggers and ocean sounds.

How hard has it been to reach your main goal in life? I don’t even know what I want to do in life.

Do you remember the song about hoes in different area codes? Yeah.

What is your main heritage? I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know? I get kinda confused with what that is, exactly.

What kind of pickles do you prefer, if you like pickles? Dill pickles.

What kind of cheese do you prefer, if you like cheese? I love a lot of different cheeses. I just love cheese.

If you could have a sea creature as a pet, what would you want? Nah.

How about a farm animal? Nah.

So, do you have hoes in different area codes? No.

What is the most annoying song you can think of that came out recently? Nothing comes to mind. I haven’t been listening to music lately, though.

What is a song that you hate to admit you like? I don’t hate to admit that I like any song I like.

What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? Uhhhh.

Do you ever use Urban Dictionary? I’ve used it, but not regularly.

Do you find the definitions on there to be generally funny or stupid? Both.

What comes to your mind when you hear the word 'transformation'? A big change.

What was something you regularly played with as a child? Barbies.

Have you ever given in to peer pressure? Yes.

What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? My back.

Do a lot of people check you out when you're in public? Ha, no. No one does.

What is a good name for a turtle? *shrug*

Can you imitate any accents well? If so, which one(s)? Nope.

Do you like having your ear nibbled on? I haven’t experienced that.

What makes a good kisser a good kisser? I don’t know. It’s not sloppy? lol. How many times a year do you have a family thing? We haven’t had a big family get together in years.

What are the best things to put in a smoothie? I’m a very simple gal, I just liked strawberries and bananas. Unless I went to Jamba Juice where they add stuff and you can add extras like a protein or caffeine shot or something.

Do you ever eat with your eyes closed and just focus on the taste? Nah.

What do you dislike most about where you live right now? My city is crappy.

Has anyone ever given you a rose/roses? No.

Are you watching your weight? I need to be gaining weight, I’ve needed to for the past few years now, but I’ve been unsuccessful.

Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? Yes. I used to have several close online friends back in the day. Also, I personally love our little survey community on here. We support each other in some way or another and keep up with each other’s lives through our surveys.

What makes your best friend your best friend? She’s my mom and my rock and has always been there for me. I couldn’t do it without her.

Do you have a drunk uncle? No.

Do you hear weird noises in your house at night? No. I usually have headphones on, though.

What is something you do that is generally more like something the opposite sex does? Uhhh. I don’t know if there is something I do like that. Not that I can think of.

What is the girliest thing you do, if you're a girl? I don’t know.

What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen? That’s hard to say. There’s a lot of really cool tattoos.

Have you ever created anything artistic that you're proud of? If so, what? I’m not crafty, artistic, or creative, sadly.

Do you only eat the middle of the oreo, if you eat oreos? I eat the whole thing, but of course the creme is the best part.

Do you know anyone with a huge ego? Yes.

If so, is there anything else about them you actually like? They’re very intelligent and would do anything for their loved ones.

Do you have any friends who are more like siblings to you? I don’t have any friends.

If so, what about them do you like most?

What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? Ketchup and mustard. It’s very rare that I’m eating a hotdog at all, though. It’s been years since I’ve had one.

What is everyone else in your house doing right now? My dad is getting ready for work, but my mom and brother are sleeping.

How long do you think it would take you to run a mile? Pfffft. That’s not happening.

Look down. What do you see? My blanket I’m wrapped up in. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? Politics.

What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? I like talking about any of my interests.

What kind of mood were you in most of today? It’s only 6:37AM.

Has anyone ever walked in on you naked? Nooo.

Tell me an inside joke you have with someone. Nah.

What is the worst thing you've ever done to someone emotionally? Ghosting those I was close to. :/

How do you feel now about the first person you ever dated? I don’t feel anything towards them anymore. I don’t have any bad feelings or anything, it’s just been almost 15 years since then and we haven’t even been in each other’s lives in a decade now and I’ve long since moved on.

How about the last person (your last ex)? I don’t have any bad feelings towards him either. I’ve moved on years ago as well.

What is the best invention ever invented? There’s been so many.

What is something that needs to be invented? I’m too tired to think of something.

What always makes you burp? It just happens.

What are you doing tomorrow? Same stuff, different day.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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alliswell21 · 6 years

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Part Eleven:

Peeta tried to act cheerful, gliding from room to room carrying hot drinks and snacks for the living and chiding the dead when they tried to sneak bites of the pastries Peeta somehow managed to bake. It was a wonder how even the ghosts seemed to crave the baked goods.

Earlier since moving in, while cleaning a corner of the attic that served as Katniss’ room, she came across a locked chest. It was very heavy and old, made from dark wood and embellished with golden accents at the lock plate and all the corners and edges. Fine craftsmanship as Mr. Everdeen would have call it, Katniss decided to leave in her room as a decorative piece. It happened that as they spruced up the first floor for the party, Mrs. Everdeen decided to dust the formal office near the house entrance. Peeta said in passing that his father used to only go there when he needed privacy and seldom used unless it was business related.

One of the drawers in the desk seemed shallower than the rest, and being a curious sleuth, Mrs Everdeen found the false bottom and popped it open with a happy laugh. “Katniss!” She called out in her excitement.

Once everyone was in the office, Mrs. Everdeen produced her loot from the hidden compartment: a few old family pictures, a copy of Mr Mellark’s will and testament dated 1959– the year he’d died of old age— and last but not least, an ornate, golden skeleton key that didn’t open anything in the office.

Peeta had been drinking in the photographs mesmerized, so he largely ignored the rest of the group as they tried the key in various possible locks without luck. Only one of the pictures contained the likeness of his mother and the rest of blanks in his mind finally filled in.

“I remember!” He gasped at them holding the picture of his mother in one hand and pulling the key out of Katniss’. “I know what does this key opens!”

“Peeta, wait up!” Cried Katniss springing out of the office, but he has already vanished into the ceiling followed closely by the other two spirits.

The Everdeens made it to the attic just as Peeta was dragging the heavy chest across the floor to the daybed and beckoning Katniss with the key. They quickly place it in keyhole and turned it easily despite the very long time I had just sit unused.

“This are my mother’s things.” Peeta whispered as they lifted the top open.

Everything inside was surprisingly in pristine conditions. Photographs; documents; bundles of letters tied up with delicate ribbons; hat boxes and dress boxes, and little knick-knacks and toys. So many toys. Peeta’s toys. At the very bottom, there was a large box and Peeta took it out with the utmost care.

“Her wedding dress.” He mumbled to one in particular, but exchanging glances between them, everyone one in the room felt the love and loss in his words.

“It’s beautiful!” Whispered Katniss as soon as the dress was laid on her bed. Not one moth bite in site nor decay in the fabric. It looked as new as the day the original Mrs. Mellark wore it.

“My father married his sweetheart from youth,” Peeta said again to no one in particular. “She was the love of his life, and he never got over her loss.” He sighed deeply. “He married Evelyn. Beautiful, spoiled and too young Evelyn. Her father used to call her Glimmer, because she was golden and blonde and wore things shiny.

“But things started to fall apart soon. My father didn’t have patience for her bratty fits and she resent my mother because her paintings were still adorning the main rooms of the house. She hated me by extension.

“Father fell ill once. It was a very big scare. It brought to light the fact that I was listed as sole beneficiary of everything my father had, and that enraged her to no end. She threatened with leaving, filing for divorce, citing fabricated illicit affairs and whatnot. It would’ve ruin my father. So he compromised, told her that he’d divvy up his wealth and possessions if she gave him any other heirs, and she could control her children’s inheritance. Father was away for business in one occasion and Glimmer had the horrendous idea of pursuing me.” He said disgusted. “I refused to be a piece in her game and told her as much. I told her I had no choice but to tell my father what had transpired between us, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to live with my conscience. She raged and screamed and for two days locked herself away in her bedroom.

“The morning of the day my father was set to return, Glimmer apologized and brought a plate heaping with flapjacks topped with berries and whipped cream as a peace offering. She told me I needed not to worry about telling my father anything, because she was coming clean herself and put herself to his disposal. So I ate the blasted breakfast.” He paused making a face. “I woke up like this.”

Katniss made to move to console her friend but he spoke again. “I stayed behind, because I was afraid for my father’s health. He wasn’t safe with that witch around. My father was so consumed with grief that the marriage deteriorated fast. At the end, Glimmer embarrassed herself by having the chofer confessed to his wife he cheated on her with Glimmer. Father never married again.”

“Peeta, you’re not your circumstances, but what you chose to do with them. And I think you’re an extraordinary young man who deserved so much more than your lot in life. I’m sorry you knew so much unkindness.” Said Johanna, out of all people. Realizing she had said something so nice, she added, “You should’ve at least hit the cougar though. See what she had to teach you.” Just then, she showed her fully naked body causing Katniss to shriek. Normally, Johanna had a defined face, shoulders and arms, the rest was foggy, and although why she had kept her modesty around the others wasn’t clear to Katniss, she could understand not being fully detailed. Jo laughed and left the room followed by a guffawing Haymitch.

“I hated that!” Katniss spat. “Did you know about that?” She demanded of Peeta, who looked unaffected by Johanna’s antics.

“Of course.” He replied. “She drowned skinny dipping.” He said as if it was the most natural thing ever.

“Oh… of course!” Katniss retorted sarcastically, bopping her forehead with the heel of her palm, “Why would Johanna be bothered to wear a swimming suit? No wonder she calls me brainless.” But Peeta didn’t pick up the jealousy in the girl’s voice.

“Katniss,” said the ghost tentatively. When she looked up, he was holding his mother’s dress up to her. “Would you mind wearing this some day?” He asked shyly.

Katniss smiled at him sweetly. “I’d love to!”

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP

If you want to know what happens next, please go to the link above for the whole story. If you only want to read the last part. You may start where it says: Part Eleven. Happy Halloween y’all!!!

#peeta the friendly ghost #octoberlark

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danfanciesphil · 6 years

Text

Some Kind Of Folliful (New Chapter)

Edgelord!Dan x ObliviousBisexual!Phil AU [CHAPTER THREE] (based off the 80′s classic Some Kind of Wonderful)

Synopsis: Dan has one friend, and only because he was forced into it. Phil is loud, excitable, and irritatingly happy all of the time. He seems to find Dan’s perpetual attitude funny, and despite Dan’s best efforts to shun him and everyone else, wants to be around him all the time. That is, until Phil starts talking about Amanda Jones. Word Count: WIP (Estimated 12-15 chapters) updates every Tuesday Rating: Explicit Warnings: Smoking, swearing, implied prostitution, broken home, class divide/classism, pining, light homophobia, sex

[Chapter One] [Chapter Two] [Ao3]

True to his word, Phil asks Amanda out that very same day. He begs and pleads with Dan to come with him for ‘moral support’, so Dan is forced to watch the entire shit-show unfold. The only upside is that Dan is able to bum a cigarette off Lee, the annoying Year Ten kid who constantly hangs around him. Lee seems to be under some mistaken impression that Dan is someone to be idolised. Dan doesn’t condone underage smoking, but he’s desperate; watching Phil ask Amanda Jones on a date is going to require some kind of narcotic. Lee offers a full packet to him while they wait on the low wall outside school, watching Phil dither in the parking lot. He’s decided to wait for Amanda by her friend Lilian’s car, because now that she and Hardy are no longer speaking, Amanda will almost definitely be travelling home this way. Dan drags on his cigarette, just about resisting the urge to moan as the nicotine rushes through his veins.

Phil’s plan is stupid, in Dan’s opinion. Lilian is a stuck up bitch, possibly the worst of all the Elite girls; if she’s there to influence Amanda’s decision, then Phil's slim chance of actually persuading Amanda to go out with him will be drastically reduced. Dan's advice was to find Amanda alone somehow, but as she’s literally the most popular girl in the entire school, Dan understands that this might be a bit difficult. Besides, as Phil keeps reminding him, time is of the essence. Dan's blowing a long, satisfying stream of silvery smoke out through his nostrils when Amanda and Lilian swan past him, chattering away, books clutched to their chests. Lilian sends Dan a dirty look as she passes, waving the smoke out of her face in disgust. Dan just about manages to stop himself giving her the finger, and instead watches in pained silence as the two girls cross the parking lot to Lilian’s peach convertible, their skirts swishing about their skinny thighs. They slow to a stop in front of Phil, eyeing him warily, and Dan holds his breath. Dan can’t hear what Phil’s saying, but he’s talking directly to Amanda, ignoring Lilian completely. The corner of his mouth is tilted up in a cute half-smile, and he shrugs his shoulders in a bashful way. Dan wants to be sick, suddenly. He stubs his cigarette out on the wall.

“Hey, uh, was that one no good or something?” Lee pipes up from beside him, sounding anxious. “I’ve got a whole pack here, did you want another?”

“What?” Dan asks, barely listening to him. “No, no. It’s fine.”

“Oh, ok,” Lee says, sounding disappointed by the answer. “So that’s your mate Phil over there, right? What’s he doing talking to Amanda Jones and Lilian Clarke? Are you gonna disown him or what?”

Lee chuckles loudly, forcedly, as though he wants to make clear that it’s a joke, but again Dan barely hears him.

“He’s got a crush on her.” Dan’s not sure why he says this, especially as hearing the words aloud are not helping his nausea.

“Really?” Lee asks, snatching up the information greedily. “Which one?”

Amanda's polite titter resounds throughout the parking lot, turning several people's curious heads.

Dan grimaces, turning away from the spectacle. “Amanda.”

Lee laughs. “Woah, that’s fucked up.”

“Yeah,” Dan agrees. He knows Lee is only saying it to suck up to him, but he’ll take the validation where he can get it right now. “Like, what does he see in her, y’know?”

“Fuck knows,” Lee answers obediently, sounding ridiculously pleased to be asked. “She’s just one of the clones.”

Dan turns to Lee. “Right?” He nods in agreement. “She’s so… boring.”

“Totally,” Lee says. “So, is he asking her out then?”

“I guess,” Dan says, frowning. “She broke up with her boyfriend at lunch today.”

“I know,” Lee says too quickly. “I mean, oh. Yeah, I wondered what everyone was babbling about.”

A semi-smile forms on Dan's lips at Lee’s transparency. Just then, the growl of an engine sounds, and Dan turns just in time to see Hardy’s car pull up beside Lilian’s, idling there as he watches the proceedings. Dan’s on his feet in seconds, terrified for Phil’s safety, but to his surprise, Hardy doesn’t even open his door. Phil glances at the Porsche, and then focuses back on Amanda, nodding at whatever she’s saying. Dan perches back on the wall, tense and ready to sprint over at the first sign of trouble. Suddenly, Phil is grinning widely, ridiculously pleased about something. Hardy’s engine revs furiously, and he speeds off, tyres screeching as he glides through the exit, out onto the road. Phil waves to Amanda as she hops in the passenger seat of Lilian’s car, then they too are driving away. Phil stares after the car for a moment, then turns slowly. He jogs back over towards Dan, eyes wide and rounded.

“She said yes,” Phil says mutedly once he’s close enough. Then, the realisation seems to seep in. He fist pumps the air, Breakfast Club style, and Dan rolls his eyes. “She said yes! I can’t believe it!”

Something twists and coils in the pit of Dan’s stomach; a wet, thick snake knotting itself around his organs.

“Congrats,” Dan spits out, not meeting Phil’s eye.

Phil just laughs, wrapping his arms around Dan and shaking him.

“C’mon grumpy, don’t be mad just ‘cause you were wrong.” Phil looks to Lee. “Can you believe Dan tried to talk me out of this, Lee? He thought I’d never be in with a chance!”

“Er, right,” Lee says unsurely.

“I’ve gotta go to work,” Dan says, shrugging Phil’s arms off him and standing up.

“Aw, man,” Phil says, seeming disappointed. “I’ll come see you later on, then we can brainstorm about Prom-plans.” He grins in utter delight, spinning around on the spot.

“No,” Dan warns him uselessly, like always. “We’ve been over this – don’t come to my work, you’re gonna get me fired.”

“Your grumpy attitude is what’ll get you fired,” Phil says, pinching his cheek so that Dan swats at him. “Can you imagine this guy serving you coffee, Lee? I think I’d be too afraid to drink it if I didn’t know what a big old softie he is.”

“Shut up,” Dan growls, rolling his eyes.

“Bye Lee! See you later on, Dan!” Phil calls as he skips off towards the school gate, not a care in the world.

“No! Phil, I mean it, don’t- oh, fuck’s sake.” Dan trails off as he realises Phil is out of earshot. “Lee, I’ve changed my mind, gimme a cigarette.”

Lee scrambles to comply as Dan sticks out his hand, impatient. He’s late already and Louise might be annoyed about it, but he couldn’t exactly say no to Phil begging him to stick around. Dan grabs a cigarette from the pack Lee offers him at once, sticking it between his lips.

He jabs a finger at Lee, irritated. “You’re too young to start smoking,” he growls. “I’m taking these.”

Dan snatches the whole packet from him, then shoves it into his back pocket. He brings a lighter up to the one in his mouth, inhaling deeply. With a final nod towards Lee, he heads for the school gates.

When Phil inevitably shows up to the café, he’s still grinning. He flops down on one of the stools beside the counter, chin in his hand as he watches Dan make a macchiato.

“I cannot believe this is real,” Phil says. “I told her that I thought she seemed like a genuine and lovely person, and that I’d liked her for a while, and she was so sweet about it.”

Dan is really not up for a retelling of the event he saw not three hours ago, but it seems he doesn’t have much of a choice. He begins to froth the milk, not watching the spout, and spills some over his hand.

“Ow, shit!” Dan hisses.

“Hey, are you okay?” Phil asks, sitting up straight, face suddenly full of concern. “Be careful.”

Dan rolls his eyes as he cradles his burnt hand. “Thanks for the advice, Phil.

“Let me see,” Phil says, holding out his hand.

Dan stares at it for a moment, then warily places his own into it. Phil tuts at it, frowning. “Silly billy. Do you have any ice back there?”

“In the freezer,” Dan admits, waving vaguely towards the kitchen.

“Go get some and wrap it in a tea towel. It’ll stop it swelling,” Phil instructs him.

Dan smirks. “Thanks, Nurse.”

Phil flaps his hands at Dan until he does as told. Unfortunately, once Dan’s hand is safely chilled according to instructions, Phil is back on Amanda again.

“I was terrified when Hardy pulled up,” Phil tells him. “You should’ve seen his face when Amanda agreed to Prom. I was so sure I was about to be beaten to a pulp.”

“So was I,” Dan mutters, placing the macchiato on to a tray crammed with several other drinks.

He walks around the counter and over to Table Ten, a group of older women wearing tennis gear, and begins dishing out the drinks they ordered. Some of them thank him with cautious smiles, and some of them eye him judgily, lips pursed, noses upturned. When he returns to the counter, Phil is gone; immediately Dan is ready to murder him. He pushes through the door to the kitchen at the back, and finds Phil exactly where he knew he would, sat up on one of the metal countertops, nibbling a flapjack.

“Phil! For fuck’s sake, how many times do I have to tell you that you aren’t allowed back here?”

Phil just smirks at him, amused. “At least once more, it would seem.”

Dan rolls his eyes. Then, after a perfunctory glance out into the café floor to make sure there are no new customers, he hops up beside Phil on the counter.

“Give me a bit, then,” Dan says moodily, holding out his hand. Phil breaks off a bit of flapjack, which he then proceeds to feed directly into Dan’s mouth. “Oi! Mmpthhh.”

“Yummy, right?” Phil says, biting off another bit. “Did you make these?”

Dan nods, reluctantly admitting to himself that they’re pretty good. “I have to whip up a big batch of them every Friday.”

“I’m gonna enter you in Bake Off,” Phil says dreamily, swallowing another bite.

Dan shakes his head. “I swear too much for the BBC.”

“True,” Phil agrees, feeding Dan another morsel. This time, Dan just lets him. “So, where should I take Amanda on Prom night? Before we get to the dance, I mean.”

The flapjack starts to curdle in Dan’s stomach. “I dunno. Where d’you wanna take her?”

“Somewhere… unusual,” Phil says contemplatively, leaning back against the wall. “Where would you wanna go, if someone was taking you on a romantic first date?”

Dan snorts, his cheeks warming. “Dates aren’t really… my thing.”

“No?” Phil asks. “Have you never…?”

“The kinds of people interested in me don’t tend to want romance, Phil.”

This time, it’s Phil’s turn to blush. “Oh.”

Dan chuckles at his reaction, hopping down off the counter and brushing crumbs from his apron. “Just take her to a fancy restaurant or something. That’s what she’ll be used to.”

The customer bell pings. Dan sighs, retying his apron as he walks back out to face the public. By the time he’s finished serving, Phil has found his way back to the stool he’d been sat in earlier.

“I don’t wanna take her somewhere she’d expect to be taken,” Phil says. “I wanna show her something different.”

“She’s one of the Elite, Phil,” Dan replies, eyebrow raised. “She’s gonna want an expensive night out somewhere glam. The pricier the better.”

Phil smiles, brushing flapjack crumbs from his lips. “We’ll see.”

“That’s nice,” Phil says, softly. “Who wrote that?”

Dan stops playing abruptly, fingers snatching themselves off the keys so fast that it’s almost comical. He balls his hands into fists, embarrassed that Phil’s been paying attention.

“I was just messing around.”

“You mean you just made that up off the top of your head?” Phil asks, peering at Dan over the top of his sketchbook.

Dan shrugs without answering, wanting to change the subject. “What’re you drawing?”

Phil smirks, turning the page around. There are several rough sketches of a girl on the page, all of them action shots. She’s swinging a tennis racket in a tiny, pleated skirt. She’s dancing with a faceless figure, being spun on her heel. She’s running down the school steps, her long curls floating behind her. It’s obvious who Phil is depicting here, even if the sketches lack detail.

“Cute,” Dan says with distaste. “Are you gonna slip little creepy drawings of her into her locker?”

Phil laughs, a soft, tinkling sound. “I was thinking of painting her, actually. Do you think she’d find that creepy?”

“Only one way to find out.” Dan shrugs. “Hey, you’ve been drawing for ages, you can’t have been sketching those little figures this whole time.”

Phil winks enigmatically, closing his sketchbook and tossing it onto his desk. “It’s pretty late,” Phil yawns, glancing at the clock. “Are you going home, or…?”

“Is that a hint that I should hit the road?” Dan asks, heart thudding.

Phil smiles warmly, patting the space next to him on the bed. “No, I was just wondering. Do you wanna stay the night?”

Dan shrugs like it doesn’t mean a lot either way, but he feels the tsunami of relief from his scalp to his toes. “Sure.” Then, because he feels like he should: “Thanks.”

“You can stay here whenever you want, you know,” Phil says for the hundredth time, then lets out a yawn. “Just don’t hog the covers this time.”

It doesn’t matter how many times Phil says it, Dan will never really believe him. He’s very glad that Phil seems to understand he needs an actual invite before he can allow himself to inconvenience the Lester household yet again. In an ideal world, Dan would just wander home after a few hours with his friend, have a nice dinner made for him by loving parents, and be tucked into bed. Instead, the idea of sneaking in the front door of his house and dealing with… everything he’ll find inside is sometimes just too much to bear. Phil’s house is so lovely and homely. His mum is a proper mum, warm and sweet. She makes wholesome dinners for Phil every night and always invites Dan to join them if he’s round without complaint. Phil’s room isn’t big or particularly luxurious, but he’s got a double bed, and his walls are covered in posters of his favourite bands. He has a falling-apart piano in the corner, which Dan likes to experiment with, and a huge collection of DVD’s, built up through a lifetime of charity shop and boot sale purchases. Phil heaves himself off the bed, heading for his chest of drawers. He pulls out a pair of pyjamas, and turns to Dan.

“Do you want something to sleep in?”

“Okay,” Dan says quietly, because despite having stayed here a zillion times, he still feels like an annoyance. “Thanks.”

Phil throws a big ‘Sunnydale High’ t-shirt at him.

Dan holds it up for inspection, snorting at the design. “Fucking Buffy nerd.”

“Says the guy who practically wept with joy when I got him the Angel box set for Christmas,” Phil counters, and Dan stands up to whip him with the shirt.

“Did not.”

“You’re in love with Angel!” Phil laughs, bringing his Elmo pyjama trousers up to defend himself. “Which is way more embarrassing than being in love with Buffy.”

“Angel is the best character,” Dan says defensively.

“Who chooses Angel over Spike?” Phil says, sounding incredulous. “It’s madness! Spike is so much hotter-”

Just then, Phil’s bedroom door opens, and Phil’s mum stands there, holding two mugs in her hands. “Sorry to interrupt, boys! But as it’s a school night I think it’s bedtime, don’t you? I brought you some hot chocolate to help you doze off. Dan, I assume you’re staying?”

“Yeah, he’s sleeping over,” Phil tells his mum, for which Dan is eternally grateful, because it means he doesn’t have to. Phil takes one of the mugs and hands it to him, then takes the other for himself.

“I-if that’s alright Mrs Lester,” Dan says, his blush deepening. “Thank you for the hot chocolate.”

“Don’t be silly, Dan, love!” She exclaims, laughing. “You’re always welcome, you know that.”

“I keep trying to tell him,” Phil says, slurping hot chocolate.

Dan rolls his eyes, nudging Phil with his foot.

“Well, I’ll let you two get settled then.” Mrs Lester beams, giving them a little wave. “Night, boys.”

As soon as the door is closed, Phil plonks himself down on the bed, sipping at his drink. Despite the interruption, Dan can’t help but rewind to the conversation they’d been having just before Phil’s mum entered the room. Phil described Spike, a male character on a TV show, as 'hot'. While that may be a very accurate statement, it throws Dan a little. Unless Dan has been very inattentive, he’s pretty certain that Phil has never expressed his attraction to a guy before, fictional vampire or not. He stares at Phil curiously as he sips hot chocolate, wondering if he can bring it up without sounding like a weirdo.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Phil asks. “Waiting for me to strip off?”

Dan flushes without meaning to. “Shut up, rat. I’m going to change in the bathroom.”

He can hear Phil giggling to himself from out in the hall.

“What do you like about her?”

Phil rolls over to look at him, and Dan doesn’t have to turn his head in order to know there’s a crease between his best friend’s brows.

“Amanda?”

“Yeah.”

He feels the covers shifting as Phil draws his shoulder up in a shrug. “Lots of things.”

“Her face?”

“Yes, I like her face,” Phil replies, voice tinged with amusement.

“Her body?” Dan asks.

Phil laughs softly. “Yeah, that too.”

Dan swallows around something sharp in his throat. It’s so quiet in Phil’s house. There’s no door slamming or shouting or footsteps pounding up and down the stairs. Usually, Dan leaves his window open so that he can hear the wind and the occasional murmur of a car rumbling by. Phil likes his open too, but in this quiet, suburban street, there’s virtually no sound. Phil shifts beside him, and Dan has to bite his lip. Tonight, laid in Phil’s bed, under his blue and green duvet, feels different to how it usually does. The air is thicker, weightier. Stifling. Phil’s body isn’t touching his, but it might as well be. The heat pours off him, like he’s a crackling bonfire, roasting Dan slowly. As he lies there, taut and unmoving, focused entirely on the body beside him, a slow, creeping realisation begins to spread through Dan’s limbs.

Amanda Jones has never been anything to Dan before now. She’d barely even registered on his radar. Just another boring bimbo in an obnoxious group of high school posers. Yet now, an intense, vicious hatred for the girl is spreading through him, finding every crevice of his body, clogging each pore. He loathes her, from her snub, pointed nose, to the twig legs shoved into clacky stiletto heels. A dawn is beginning to crest over the darkness from the blanket Dan has been holding over his own eyes. It’s only here, in Phil’s bed, with nothing to distract from the sight and smell and feel of him so close, that Dan is beginning to see the obvious. And the sight burns. A flush spreads over his chest, across his neck and shoulders as the weight of his own idiocy settles in. He should have seen it sooner. It should have been blaringly obvious. Dan’s been a fool, ignorant and dully predictable.

Falling for his best friend. How cliché.

A hand on Dan’s warm, bare arm makes him jump.

“Hey, are you okay?” Phil asks. “You’re breathing all weird.”

Dan sends a prayer of thanks to the skies above that the deep scarlet of his skin is likely not visible in the dark.

“Yep,” he lies, trying to will Phil to remove his hand with the power of his mind alone.

Self-loathing courses through the synapses in Dan’s brain, and he curses himself for allowing himself to get into this situation. Phil Lester is the one person that tolerates him. He’s the one person that Dan actually likes, and that – absurdly – seems to want to be his friend. This crush could ruin that. Dan’s never been known for his level-head, nor his ability to keep his mouth shut. If he lets this jealous streak continue, and keeps attacking Amanda every time Phil brings her up, Phil could grow tired of it. He could stop hanging around Dan, could abandon him completely. It might be one of the cruellest tricks life has played on him yet. Not only is Dan now going to have to pretend he has no romantic feelings for Phil, he’s going to have to watch him date Amanda Jones of all people. There’s no question whatsoever that this revelation must remain a secret. As far as Dan is aware, Phil is likely not interested in men, and even if he were, the two of them are best friends. If Phil knew about Dan’s feelings, it would drive a wedge between them, as Phil would no longer know how to act. The one thing that must be prevented at all costs is losing Phil, even as a friend. The thought is horrific.

Phil sits up then, switching on his bedside light. Dan squints and groans as the light blinds him, bringing his hand up to shield his eyes. Phil apologises, turning down the dimmer switch.

“Dan, are you sure you’re alright?” Phil asks again, frowning. He places a hand on Dan’s forehead; it’s such a sweet, gentle touch. “Are you feeling sick?”

Dan shakes his head, pressing his lips together. “I’m fine,” Dan says; reluctantly, Phil sinks back down into the mattress. “I’m just overthinking. You know me.”

“Unfortunately,” Phil quips, so Dan smacks him in the shoulder.

Phil grabs hold of his hand as it lands, and Dan actually has to hold in a squeak. He tries to pull away, but Phil holds tight.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about,” Phil commands.

Dan swallows thickly; Phil starts to trace patterns into his palm.

“I’m worrying you’re making a mistake,” Dan decides to say, though he hates himself for it. “What if Amanda’s only agreeing to this to make Hardy jealous?”

Phil’s finger stops circling. A silence ensues, and Dan wonders if Phil is angry. It would be unusual, as Phil hardly ever gets mad.

“Maybe she is,” Phil says unexpectedly, starting to draw squiggles up and down Dan’s fingers. “But so what?

Dan blinks at him, turning so that he and Phil are staring into one another’s eyes. It’s not helping to quell Dan’s latent realised desires, but that can’t be helped. “What?”

“I can still show her a nice time,” Phil says with a shrug. “I still think she deserves to be treated well, and I still want to be the one to do it. You never know, maybe she’ll change her mind about Hardy once she sees how different it could be with me.”

Dan worries his lip ring between his teeth, and Phil’s eyes train on the action; it makes Dan want to burrow under the covers and hide.

“Phil… Hardy Jenns isn’t the kind of guy you wanna get on the wrong side of,” Dan says for the second time, trying to load his voice with the appropriate amount of urgency. “He’s scary and he has a lot of influence. If you go on a date with Amanda, you’re gonna be top of his hit list.”

“I’m not scared of Hardy Jenns, Dan,” Phil says, rolling his eyes.

“You should be, though,” Dan says. “Have you ever even taken a punch, Phil? ‘Cause he won’t hesitate to deck you if you piss him off.”

Phil smiles, squeezing a fist around Dan’s fingers. “You’re so cute, getting all concerned for my safety.”

Dan flushes, ripping his gaze from Phil’s. “I can’t protect you from him, Phil. I might be able to scare him off if he’s on his own, but he’s got all his fuckboy friends-”

“Dan, shh. You don’t need to protect me.” Fondness radiates out of every one of Phil's pores. Dan feels suffocated by it, imagines it pouring into his lungs, choking his breath from him. “I get that you’re tough and scary and you could probably kick Hardy’s ass, but that’s not why I hang around with you.”

“So, why do you?” Dan can’t help asking, his voice choked.

“Because you’re amazing,” Phil says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re ridiculously intelligent for a start. You read Sartre and Marx for fun. Your favourite films are all Godard and Truffaut.”

“That doesn’t make me amazing,” Dan says scornfully. “That makes me pretentious.”

“Maybe a little,” Phil says, the corner of his mouth curling into a smile. “But you’re also incredibly talented.” Dan makes a ‘pfft’ sound. “No, seriously. You’re the best pianist I’ve ever heard. I can’t understand how you can create something so beautiful out of nothing. I can’t draw a straight line without inspiration, but you just sit at that rickety old stool and play masterpieces off the top of your head.”

Dan purses his lips, wondering how on earth he can explain that he does have inspiration, obviously, without mentioning that literally all of his pieces are spawned from thinking about Phil.

“You’re sharp and witty,” Phil continues. “You have this spiky exterior to fend everyone off, and you hate almost everyone in school.” Phil pauses, his smile widening. “But not me.”

Dan glances away from him; his palm is so sweaty now, he has no idea how Phil isn’t grossed out from holding his hand. “You wore me down.”

“Maybe,” Phil agrees with a chuckle. “If that’s true, then I’m grateful.”

Dan doesn’t know what to say. He’s mortified from head to toe, probably bright red because he has no idea how to accept compliments and he never has. Phil is being sickeningly sweet for seemingly no reason at all, and honestly the timing couldn’t be worse, because Dan realised only minutes earlier how madly in love with him he is.

“Well, thanks,” Dan says gruffly, rolling onto his back. “You’re really lame sometimes, did you know?”

Phil laughs at him, just like always, never taking Dan’s jibes to heart. Dan’s so glad Phil understands that he never means it when he’s a salty bitch. God, he really, really needs to not fuck up this friendship.

“So, Amanda…” Dan says. He flounders for something to ask about this beaten horse of a topic, and clutches at the first thing he can think of, despite not really wanting to know the answer. “Is she the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen?”

Phil sighs, and when Dan glances over at him, his eyes are shut. “Prettiest girl, yeah,” Phil mutters.

Dan frowns. “What’s that mean? Is there another category?”

“Mm, o‘course,” Phil mumbles after a moment. “Prettiest boy.”

Dan feels his breath catch in his throat. Don't ask. You don't want to know the answer.

He's never been good with impulse control. “Oh,” he says, forcing a small laugh. “And who wins that prize?”

Phil’s eyes flutter open briefly, latching on to Dan’s. “You, Dan. Duh.”

Phil’s eyes are closed again in moments, so he doesn’t get to see the astonishment on Dan’s face. Minutes pass before Dan can remember how to speak, or think of any sort of response, and by the time he opens his mouth, Phil is firmly in the land of dreams.

Chapter Four!

#phan #phan au #phanfic #some kind of folliful

57 notes · View notes

eldritchsurveys · 4 years

Text

1033.

Have you ever felt a baby kick? >> I don’t think so. I mean, maybe? It’s possible? Maybe when Vlad was pregnant? But I don’t remember, so. What color pants/shorts are you wearing? >> Charcoal. When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? >> Well, I played a couple of hours of FFXIV earlier? I also watched another episode of Blackish while eating dinner, and that show is a lot of fun for me. What was the scariest moment of your life? >> Oh, who knows. I was probably not fully aware of my emotions at the time anyway, so does it really count as scary if I can’t fully feel my own fear?

Have you ever heard of Leonard Cohen? >> Certainly.

Pancakes or flapjacks? >> I don’t know anything about flapjacks, but I’m not crazy about pancakes. What kind of computer are you on? >> A Lenovo IdeaPad. Do you eat Chinese food? If so, what’s your favorite dish? >> Sure, preferably of the less Americanised variety. I don’t have a favourite dish, though. What are you usually doing at midnight? >> Sleeping. If I’m not sleeping, I’m doing a crossword or reading. Have you ever developed feelings for a friend, but you were already with someone? >> --- If so, how did it turn out? >> --- Give me your brief definition of love. >> I don’t have a brief definition of love. What is the most beautiful part of the human body, male or female? >> --- What kind of shoes do you wear? >> Either sneakers or Docs-type boots. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done when you were really angry? >> I mean, physically hurt someone, what else. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? >> Yeah, I take CBD in the morning and I take the good old Period-B-Gon at night. Do you like the smell of coconuts? >> I do, but only in small doses. It gets overwhelming pretty quickly. What is the heaviest you think you can lift? >> I don’t know. Do you take Tums? >> No, I don’t need them. Have you ever walked on a pier at the beach? >> I’ve been on the Piers on the Hudson River, but I don’t think I’ve been on any legitimate beach piers. How about under one? >> No. At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? >> --- Do you feel that way around anyone now? >> ---

Do you ever talk to yourself or think deep thoughts while on the toilet? >> I usually read on the toilet. Do you ever sing to yourself? >> In general, absolutely. Not on the toilet, though. Couldn’t tell if this was a continuation of the last question or not... What is a sound that relaxes you? >> Babbling-brook type sounds. Forest sounds. Can Calah’s voice. Bruni’s voice. How hard has it been to reach your main goal in life? >> Can’t imagine what it’d be like to have one main goal in life. Like... that’s wild. Do you remember the song about hoes in different area codes? >> Yes, lol. Ahh, what a throwback. What is your main heritage? >> Hm. What kind of pickles do you prefer, if you like pickles? >> I like regular sandwich pickles. I also like bread and butter, which makes me a heathen in Sparrow’s eyes even though we unite over our liking of pickles otherwise. What kind of cheese do you prefer, if you like cheese? >> On sandwiches, pepper jack. With crackers, some kind of brie or Kerrygold swiss, but I’ll take pepper jack or cheddar in a pinch (and usually cheddar if there’s also apple slices involved). In salads, feta. And so on. If you could have a sea creature as a pet, what would you want? >> I don’t want a sea creature as a pet. How about a farm animal? >> Or a farm animal. So, do you have hoes in different area codes? >> Back to this again, eh? What is the most annoying song you can think of that came out recently? >> --- What is a song that you hate to admit you like? >> I feel like it’s insulting to myself to hate admitting that I like something. Getting enjoyment out of something is something to be appreciated, for me... What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? >> Inspiration is not what gets me to do things. Executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, and random triggers all piss on “inspiration”. I get up and do things when I fucking can. Do you ever use Urban Dictionary? >> I really don’t ever have to. Even slang that’s new to me I can figure out by context clues... Do you find the definitions on there to be generally funny or stupid? >> They’re definitely... special. What comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘transformation’? >> I have no immediate associations with that word.

What was something you regularly played with as a child? >> Paper dolls.

Have you ever given in to peer pressure? >> Sure. If so, what did you do? >> I mean, I don’t have specific examples right now because my memory sucks. But I cannot confidently say that I’ve gotten this far without ever giving into something my peer group wanted me to do. What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? >> My brain.

Do a lot of people check you out when you’re in public? >> I don’t know, I assume not, but even the suggestion that that’s possible makes me want to claw my skin off, so good job. What is a good name for a turtle? >> A name that matched its disposition and what type of turtle it was. Can you imitate any accents well? If so, which one(s)? >> No. Do you like having your ear nibbled on? >> Nooooo. What makes a good kisser a good kisser? >> I think it’s about whether the partner likes whatever it is they’re doing. Some people kiss in ways that would disgust the fuck out of me, but would be immensely pleasing to someone else. I guess the best kind of kisser would be the one who found out (either by asking outright or by trial-and-error/being guided) what kind of kissing their partner liked (and when!) and adapted to that. How many times a year do you have a family thing? >> --- What are the best things to put in a smoothie? >> I have no idea. Do you ever eat with your eyes closed and just focus on the taste? >> Sometimes. What do you dislike most about where you live right now? >> Oh, you want a list? Because I’ll make a list-- well, okay, mostly I just don’t like urban noise. I’ve grown really intolerant and skittish of the noises people make as they exist around me (this includes environmental noise like vehicles, airplanes, lawncare machinery, etc, as well). Has anyone ever given you a rose/roses? >> No. I’ve given roses a couple of times.

Are you watching your weight? >> I’m trying to not hyperfocus on my weight, actually. Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? >> I guess that’s what happened with Elle. “Really good” throws me off because I don’t know how good of friends we are...? I assume we’re just regular friends! I don’t know! Next! What makes your best friend your best friend? >> --- Do you have a drunk uncle? >> --- Do you hear weird noises in your house at night? >> No. What is something you do that is generally more like something the opposite sex does? >> --- What is the girliest thing you do, if you’re a girl? >> ---

What is the coolest tattoo you’ve ever seen? >> I don’t know, man, I’ve seen a lot of cool tattoos over time. In fact, just the concept of tattoos in general is cool. Have you ever created anything artistic that you’re proud of? If so, what? >> I mean, I’ve written some pretty sweet fanfic. Do you only eat the middle of the oreo, if you eat oreos? >> I don’t eat Oreos.

Do you know anyone with a huge ego? >> Maybe. If so, is there anything else about them you actually like? >> I mean, having a huge ego doesn’t automatically disqualify you from having anything likeable about you from my perspective... Have you ever used a racial slur, even jokingly? >> Yep. Considering a certain obvious racial slur is now a slang term... Do you have any friends who are more like siblings to you? >> ---

If so, what about them do you like most? >> --- What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? >> On the rare occasion that I do, I like onions and sauerkraut and mustard. What is everyone else in your house doing right now? >> Sparrow is in her room, I assume watching more of the Amnesia Rebirth playthrough on YouTube. What is the most money you’ve ever had at one time? >> $10k. Retroactive payment from Social Security. (Yeah, that’s how long they denied me before I got approved. Long enough that they owed me a total of fourteen grand.) How long do you think it would take you to run a mile? >> I wouldn’t run a mile, so that’s that on that. Look down. What do you see? >> The dark void that is my clothing in this dim lighting. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? >> Can’t think of anything right now. Not that such subjects don’t exist, just that they’re not coming to mind. What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? >> FFXIV. What kind of mood were you in most of today? >> A hyperaroused one. Had a lot of emotions and then had to deal with the backlash to having too many emotions before noon. Has anyone ever walked in on you naked? >> No. Tell me an inside joke you have with someone. >> I can’t ever remember these at random. What is the worst thing someone could do to you emotionally? >> Let’s not. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done to someone emotionally? >> Let’s not. How do you feel now about the first person you ever dated? >> Nothing. He’s been dead for over a decade, any feelings about him exist only in emotional flashbacks. How about the last person (your last ex)? >> A little hurt still but mostly just pissed and disgusted. Most of the hurt I still feel now is grief towards myself and what I lost to someone else’s carelessness and self-obsession. What is the best invention ever invented? >> *shrug*

What is something that needs to be invented? >> *shrug* What always makes you burp? >> Carbonation. Well, not always, I guess? But often. What are you doing tomorrow? >> I’m not sure yet. I’ll know when it gets here.

#surveys #survey #random survey #not for reblogging *glare*

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mydannyme-blog · 7 years

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Cartoons that are not for kids

i have noticed over the years that theres lots of cartoons that are not for kids

here is a list of them

Ren and Stimpy

despite airing on Nickelodeon was not for kids it had lots of sexual innuondoe graphic vilonce like bleeding intestines eyeballs and kidneys all being thrown up into the air the characters died lots of times and in one episode they go to hell characters tried to kill themselves and said there going to go end it all

Rockos modern life

was not for kids because it had lots of adult jokes some that were even banned and some episodes were very vilonte with some blood

the angry beavers

was not for kids but not because it was inappropriate but because kids wont get some of the stuff like when they dress up as hippies and pimps the show talks about politics and the angry beavers have a no smoking sign in there house

Catdog

was not for kids it had some adult jokes and lots of disturbing stuff cat climbs out of dogs mouth skinned alive a bunny mounts catdogs head on his wall and a armadillo says hes going to kill stuff and mount a girl characters head on his wall

invader zim

was aimed at young teens it was really disturbing and dark

courage the cowardly dog

was not for little kids it was really creepy morbid and dark

the powerpuff girls

was orriginally for Adults and was called the whoopass girls but the creator had to change it to the powerpuff girls but the name is the only thing that changed because it had lots of adult jokes and in the opening of evrey episode him got punched in the mouth with his tooth flying out with blood

johnny bravo

was not for kids it had lots of very edgy adult jokes and the main plot was about a 20 or 30 year old man trying to pick up girls

cow and chicken

was not for kids it was really vilonte disturbing and disgusting

time squad

was not for kids because it has lots of sexual innuendo homosexual innuendo and in one episode theres hippies with red eyes that offer the main characters their special brownies and one of the characters acts drunk and theres some offensive jokes stereotypes and iffy titles

the grim adventures of billy and mandy

was not for little kids it was really creepy vilonte disturbing and dark grim imagines killing the kids billy thinks mandys a cannibal mandy is a sadistic sociopath who beats up and abuses billy billy asks mandy if she wants to play and she says im busy go play in traffic mandy calls everybody to her house and she orders them to kill her nanny pudding finds a bunny and the bunny tries to kill him and then it pops out of some fire and at the end tells pudding he loves him to death with half of his skin missing billy scrapes his face on the sidewalk and his skin peels off billy tells grim to suck it

the marvelous misadventures of flapjack

was not really for kids it was really creepy and had dark imagery

Regular show

regular show is rated TVPG and is not for kids because it has mild swearing like piss crotch crap holy crap and what the h characters are seen and implied to be drinking alcohol high five ghost is seen at a fist pump concert with a beer muscle man knocks on a motel door and a bunch of beer cans come flying out and the characters go to a bar called mchooligans and benson gets very drunk it has lots of sexual innuendo rigby says bensons going to drop his balls and says hes going to be all like oh no my gumballs rigby says he cant believe mordecia is going to a fist pump concert just for some lady pecs a giant coffee bean squirts coffee from his breasts into mordecia and rigbys mouths rigby learns a new move called the pelvic thrust of death benson says hit the lights because its almost 8pm and muscle man unzips his pants and says oh man skips is going to be so suprised when he comes in and sees us all totally naked and benson tells him its not that kind of party and muscle man says oh dont turn on the lights when mordecia tells rigby about a movie rigby says he saw the preveiw for the movie and says there just going to be sitting around talking about there feelings and he sighs and says fully clothed mordecia and rigby are playing a game and a guy and girl character tongue kiss muscle man tells mordecia and rigby that it takes more then expired soda to have a party it takes guests with breasts and mine dont count party pete dry humps 2 girls mordecia sees pops naked and pops covers his crotch with his hat and he lets go for one second and it hangs there mordecia tells rigby about what he saw and mordecia says i was trying not to look just give him back his magazine but i saw his and rigby says his junk mail and mordecia describes pops crotch to rigby muscle man is playing a board game and says a bunch of girls come running at him and say oh muscle man stop pinching me in the butt with your war claw rigby is suprised that muscle man has a girlfreind and says he wonders who has more junk in the trunk a radio announcer says if a car was a girl would you take her on a date and try to get to second base benson tells mordecia and rigby they where supposed to degum the park and he says but instead i find you held up in here twiddling some sticks and mordecia says augh dont say it like that and mordecia tells rigby there going to be playing hard all night and rigby tells him not to say it like that benson tells evrebody about the rules of skeeze ball and says he wants evreyone to lineup and when the balls drop then mordecia and rigby snicker rigby picks up a bra at the old ballroom a giant bolt says hes the king of the bolts and the nuts then mordecia and rigby snicker

and its very vilonte rigby gives muscle man 2 black eyes skips shrivels into dust and almost dies on his birthday mordecia kills rigby by pushing him off a micowave and he shrivels into dust skips kills rigby by smashing him through a table all the characters die in the halloween episode muscle man gets skinned alive skips gets pulled up the chimney and burns to death and mordecia gets his head chopped off offscreen with a machete in the second halloween episode mordecia and rigby die and a giant racoon shaped intestine lands on top of pops head a elf shoots santa clause 2 times in the chest with a gun and rigby has a backstage pass that shows satan chopping off a guys head with a guitar and blood comes out in the third halloween episode muscle man and high five ghost die by getting turned into baking in the fourth halloween episode a guy gets his head chopped off offscreen with trimmers and in the fifth halloween episode sharks bite off bensons arms and kill him and a alien stabs a guy in the chest and you see a hole through his chest

Adventure time

Adventure time is rated TVPG and is not for kids it has mild swearing like crotch crap freaking and son of a it has lots of sexual innuondoe a mermaid pop s out of a river and asks finn and jake which one of them wants to mate with her ice king tells a robot that he can do something that hes failed in and says you can mate with robot princesses finn says theres a lava monster in his front yard and he is so hot and jake says m hmm and finn says no wait i didnt mean like sexy hot and jake says no you do mean sexy hot jake shapes himself to look like a snail and tells finn whos pretending to be a snail that hes just sitting there thinking about mating with snails and finn gets disgusted and says no and the snail says that he will mate with him and jake says where just role playing buddy finn goes into a forest filled with naked people a old guy says oh no and another guy walks by and says my most private parts peeped by a boy a lady calls finn a pervert and he keeps running through the forest and you can hear more people saying my privates jake looks in princess bubblegums room and finn tells him thats pervy in the fionna and cake episode prince gumball asks fionna to come up to his room with him and he starts to unbutton his shirt it turns out it was just the ice queen in disguise but still ice king tells a hitman he hired that someone got hit in the boing loins jake tells finn about the diffrent teirs and finn says what abou t teir 15 and jake says stay away from that do not do teir 15 a guy for a royal competition says its time for the royal spooning and slime princess wants finn to spoon her tree trunks says looks like were all alone and mr pig says wait dont you think there might be cameras in here and says well princess bubblegum is watching i hope so a guy turns into a monster and says im i a walking love magnet and peppermint butler says well you paid the price no doubt and i want to have your babies and he says great to the princess then and peppermint butler says no wait what about me and at the end of the episode peppermint butler asks where the guy went and princess bubblegum tells him i gave him away peps i knew he couldnt be happy without me so i built him a robot wife and peppermint butler says you should have given him to me and smacks princess bubblegum across the face and its very vilonte finn and jake run through a bunch of maces and weapons on a board walk and almost get mutilated finn is seen holding a monsters head magic man turns a bird inside out a giant monster beats finn up and says beg for mercy or i wil l kill you finn chops off a guys head off screen and his head falls on the ground but hes still alive finn beats up some berries and their juice sprays all over him which represents blood the liches skin burns off and he is seen skinned alive and theirs some dark humor jake jokes about seeing dead bodies and guts on the ground and finn and jake try to cheer these people who are trying to mourn there loss up and it makes the guy whos dead angry and theres some suicide refrences like finn lets go of some balloons and they say yay to the metsophere finally we can die jake has a dream where he dies and then he wants to die and a guy named princess cookies tries to kill himself but fails and ends up in a mental institution

MAD

MAD is not for little kids its more for teens i talked to the creator on twitter and he said its for 7-15 year olds

the looney tunes show

is rated TVPG and is not for kids because it has some sexual innuendo lola calls bugs a bad boy when bugs and daffy are chained together bugs asks the police officer how do you explain this chain and the police officer says your personal lives are your business yosemite sam says if theres a tie on the door dont come in at all yosemite sam brings his new wife upstairs with him and in the morning bugs is sitting outside the room and you can hear some moans of happiness it turns out yosemite sam was just trying on gloves lola sits on daffys bed in a sexual manner and in one of the merrie melodies yosemite sam runs outside naked and granny sees him and its very vilonte bugs and daffy are in a near death situation where there blindfolded and are about to get shot with guns bugs is tired of not getting any sleep because of daffy and plans to murder daffy by pushing him off the roof but is stopped before he could do it daffy uses porky as a bowling ball to knock down some pins then later hes seen in a wheelchair and daffy pushes him down the lane again daffy thinks porkys a murderer and it looks like porky is stabbing a girl with a knife in eligible bachelors theres guns in semper lie theres machine guns and in the shell game cecil turtle plans to kill bugs and porky by shooting them with a gun and it just has more adult situations like having roomates dating using credit cards and going to the DMV

sym bionic titan

was not for kids its for older teens

robotomy

was not for kids it was more for older teens and adults i talked to the creator on his website and he said its aimed at little kids to the adults watching Adultswim at night

spongebob squarepants

is not really for kids because seasons 1-3 had lots of adult jokes and some dark episodes like a episode where spongebob and mr krabs think they killed a health inspector then bury his body and stuf f him in the freezer seasons 4 onwards are much darker theres suicide refrences a fish puts a spear up against his neck and says some day but not today a fishs head explodes and another fish sighs and says lucky plankton tries to kill himself and even says cant you see im trying to get run over here and its very vilonte characters skin gets ripped off characters almost get there heads chopped off characters get ripped in half and in one episode the flying dutchman makes it look like a monster bit off spongebobs head and in one of the newest episodes mrs puff tries to murder spongebob and when he survives a monster track ralley mrs puff asks why is he still alive and then tries to run him over with a giant monster truck

gargoyles

was not really for kids because it was very vilonte a gargoyle lands on a building and his palms start to bleed a gargoyle accidentally shoots a girl with a gun and shes seen lying in a pool of her own blood in one episode all the gargoyles die broadway gets blinded and shot and blue stone bronx claw angela and brooklyn are all vaporised on-screen and the main villian kills his son and it has some sexual innuondoe a gargoyle calls another gargoyle kinky and a gargoyle swears in one episode

the shnookums and meat funny cartoon show

the shnookums and meat funny cartoon show was Disneys attempt at a edgy adult themed show like ren and stimpy

gravity falls

was not really for kids it had lots of adult jokes a gnome bathes with some squrriels in a bath tub by a bottle of lotion and later the gnome asks more squrriels to jump in his pants a manotaur says he has fists for nipples in one episode its said that ben franklin chased a guy around spanking him and that he is a cross dressing woman grunkle stan tells mabel in dippers body about the birds and the bees grunkle stan gets naked in a money machine offscreen and theres a sign that says mc suck it and its very vilonte and dark theres a blood stain seen on one page in the journal a kid gets stuck in a cereal box cover and a bird impales him with a spoon offscreen a monster called the trickster eats a kid onscreen bill rips out a deer tooth and gives it to gideon gideon threatens to cut out dippers tongue with lamb shears a old manotaur gets killed onscreen dipper gets a nose bleed some animal heads bleed from there eyes and mouth the show mentions guns and in one episode a guy says what the twins just saw was top secret information and he says even i myself will be shot once the filming is complete time baby vaporizes and kills a guy onscreen a guy falls off a platform and shrivels into dust and the show gets really dark by the end of the series bill has taken over gravity falls and has turned gravity falls into a wasteland bill whips mabel and dippers uncle with a electric whip some demons play a game called spin the body and whoever the body lands on the demon has to eat bill wants to take over the world and will even kill mabel and dipper to do it

wander over yonder

was not really for kids it had lots of adult jokes sylvias old partner shows up and she says wander this is my old partner in crime goes by the name of and then the guy says rider used to uh ride her sylvias a horse but still captain awesome says hes going to bring lord hater down to awesome town then he points at his crotch wander ryhmes and says fix gate needs drilling eat cake its filling date kate shes willing and then he does a eyebrow wiggle and its very vilonte peepers slices kills and opens a plant a guy gets shot in the head with a dart wander gets a new pet called captain tim who sticks his tongue down wanders throat to try to rip out his heart in one episode lord hater imagines killing wander and sylvia dominator kills one of her bots threatens to kill captain awesome wants to destroy the world and tries to kill sylvia and making wander watch as she tries to drill through her chest

pickle and peanut

is not really for kids it has some sexual innuondoe peanut wants to go skinny dipping and pickle and peanut flirt with some girls and its very vilonte pickle and peanut have to fight goats one goat threatens to stab a guy with a knife a girl get s hit in the eye with a squrriel and it bleeds some girl scouts beat up a guy and threaten pickle and peanut a guy plans to kil l peanut and one of pickle and peanuts favirote cartoons has a villian named manslaughter

batman the animated series

was not for kids because its very vilonte batman kills the scarecrow and his body is seen hanging on a ceiling fan not moving batman gets bloody cuts theres real guns and the joker drops a guy in a coffin into a pit of acid and sings to remember him then forgets him and says whos hungry it has some sexual innuondoe harley quinn pops out of a pie for the joker and does a strip tease 2 girls are seen in there pajamas about to have supper its implied there lesbians

batman beyond

was not for kids because its very vilonte characters have guns and knifes and the joker kills people

superman the animated series

was not for kids because there was a villian named nanny goodness who brainwashed and tortured some kids a guy rips a worms skin off and a alien gets shot offscreen and his guts splash across the wall of the ship

teen titans

was not really for kids a puppet master falls over and dies with his eyes opened but other then that season 1 was pretty lighthearted but the show got darker as it went on there was villians like slade who turned people to stone trigon a demon who wants to kill ravens freinds we see cyborgs dark bacstory and in one episode the titans visit the underworld

Teenage mutant ninja turtles 2003 animated series

was not really for kids because it was very vilonte

the Turtles visit a future where splinter is dead and in the end all the future turtles die a guy named bishop gets impaled and doctor stockman creates a new body that starts to rot and you see his flesh

swat kats

was not really for kids because its very vilonte and 2 villians died

captain planet and the planeteers

was not really for kids because it had episodes about drugs and Aids and its very vilonte linkas cousin dies of a drug overdose theres a driveby shootout of a family and in one episode theres a realistic image of a dead kid

spider man the new animated series

was not really for kids because it had swearing like danm hell bitch and crap

and its very vilonte characters get shot with guns and die the lizard falls off a building and dies

the ripping freinds

was not for kids because it was very vilonte a peice of gum sucks the moiusture out of people a worm sucks the spines out of people rips shorts take over jimmy and he crushes and kills a bug with a rock a cow slices off a peice of her skin for the ripping freinds a guy has a organ machine and a kid brings him real organs its very disturbing rip hooks himself up to a pain machine and he gets electrocuted and theres a closeup of his veins moving back and forth and theres some sexual innuondoe a hot dogs lower half rises up a hot dog and bun hug then it cuts to black rip accidentally pops in on a girl taking a shower and he says its okay mam im a ripping freind and the girl screams and throws her brush at him a little girl kisses a naked bear and his crotch then gets stung by bees

Transformers prime

was not really for kids because its the darkest transformers cartoon so far lots of robots died 2 humans died and some humans almost died

jonny quest the real adventures

was not really for kids because its darker and some characters died

oggy and the cockroaches

is not really for kids because its very vilonte and in one episode oggy is seen in a trailer and in the background theres a naked full breasted woman on a calendar

ben 10 alien force

was not really for kids because it was darker and some characters died

Family guy

American dad

the cleveland show

the Simpsons

is not for kids because it has swearing like danm hell and bitch and has lots of sexual innuondoe and its very vilonte theirs a show that the kids like to watch called itchy and scratchy which has lots of gore and the halloween episodes are more darker theres blood and gore and the characters die by getting shot impaled and getting there heads chopped off in one of the newest halloween episodes homer and marge kill themselves and the kids kill eachother characters drink beer and get drunk characters do drugs and theres a mob boss named fat tony who kills people

Futurama

pinky and the brain

was aimed at a general aduience but it seems like it was more for adults and not really for kids because it had some very edgy adult jokes dolly parton says shes brains biggest fan and asks him what he thinks of that and brain says id say puberty was orientally kind to you brain tells pinky to never breed and pinky says ill try a bikini designer walks around pretending to be blind and in one episode they mention sexual harassment

6teen

was not really for kids because it had lots of sexual innuondoe jonsey peeks through a peep hole in a dressing room the characters talk about getting to second base and scoring in one episode theres a character whos gay and it deals with lots of teen situaitions like dating and using credit cards

Total Drama

is not really for kids because it has swearing like crap danm holy crap and hell and some censored swears and in 2 episodes the middle finger is shown censored theres lots of sexual innuondoe a guy asks if hes going to get to second base a guy sees a girl characters breasts and he keeps saying the word boobies and later the other guys ask if they can see a girls breast a guy eats beef testicles and he says the word testicles a guy says he has cow boobies on his head theres a song about mating a guy gets stuck in the statue of liberties breasts and chef says what a way to go and the guy agrees a girl jumps up and down naked offscreen chef enters a jail and a guy makes a kissie face at him a girl has to go into a sauna and says its going to be really hot and a guy and girl character are in a taxi and the taxi driver makes a kissie face at the guy character a plant hatches a egg that looks like chris and in one episode chris jokes about the kids smoking a joint

the animals of farthing wood

was not really for kids because lots of animals died in the show

South Park

Bobs Burgers

is not for kids it has swearing like hell ass danm and bitch and the first episode was about bob serving human flesh theres lots of sexual innuondoe and one episode the kids go to a funeral parlor and almost burn bob alive theres some really dark humor some people exit a funeral parlor and gene turns on his microphone which makes fart noises to try to make the people laugh and in one of the newest episodes bob and linda eat cookies with marijuana in them

Capitol Critters

was not for kids because in the first episode the main characters family dies a girl character is seen smoking characters die theres guns and some sexual innuondoe

Fish Police

was not for kids because their was mild swearing like danm a fish investigated murders and there was pimps and hoes and a bunch of adult stores and strip clubs are seen on the streets

Happy tree freinds

is not for kids because its full of gore

Dick figures

Beavis and butthead

was not for kids it had swearing like hell crap and danm it had lots of sexual innuondoe beavis always wanted to score and the characters where bad role models they would burn stuff destroy stuff throw a dog in a washer and then jump in themselves

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