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unhappy-last-resort · 2 months

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Astral Desires (Yandere Watanabe x Commandant GN Reader)

Warnings: Obsessive behavior, stalking(?), sneaking into your room without your knowledge, mentions non-con fingering, touches you in your sleep but nothing nsfw

A/N: This was sitting in my drafts for too long. Inspired by that out of pocket secret his astral frame has, that as far as I know, is not given any context or explanation so I assume he's just secretly insane and honestly. Fair.

Not proof read, please lmk any mistakes or improvements.

The lounge was quiet, save for an occasional patrol by the Gray Ravens checking in on their Commandant and making sure nothing was out of the ordinary. They've failed.

Watanabe knows this because Lee hasn't noticed his presence at all and he's willing to bet that he'll leave without checking every nook and cranny. Maybe one day he'll teach him to properly check for enemies without disturbing the Commandant, maybe. Right now though, their lack of awareness made sneaking into your room all the easier.

Lee appeared in his vision once again, doing his final cursory check of the lounge. Watanabe moved with him, staying crouched while evading his line of sight and the lounge security camera until Lee finally exited the room. Thankfully, Babylonia upgraded his Astral frame significantly, replacing his old stealth module with a new one and even adding additional modules and settings to enhance his abilities, turning what was an outdated frame into one that provided him with more of an edge over enemies and proved useful in ensuring a few deals for the Forsaken went smoothly. He should thank you for encouraging him to take it despite his dislike of Babylonia, he thinks to himself. Having verified the coast was clear, and knowing that the none of the other Ravens will make their rounds again for quite some time, Watanabe quickly opened the door to your dorm and entered, silently observing your dorm room as the door shut silently behind him.

Watanabe rolled his shoulders slightly, now he could relax a little more. He stood up straight and slowly walked to your sleeping form, not bothering to hide his presence save for his sound suppression module. You had a thin T-shirt on and he didn't care to guess what the sheets were hiding, he already knew. The artificial moonlight shining through your window illuminated your face beautifully, although he hated that you left the curtains open like that, he had to admit that he never tired of this sight. This was his and his alone.

During the daytime hours you're always putting on a brave face, keeping it together for your squad and others around you so they don't see the way your fingers trembled ever so slightly during the Space Station mission, or your anxiety as you're being shuttled to another mission, wondering if it's your last. At night however, it was different. When you think you're alone you'll let down your high walls and let your shoulders drop under the invisible pressure you always feel with every step. Sometimes you cry, stare at a wall in thought, or write in your journal. Watanabe always liked when you did that, because that's where all your unfiltered thoughts and feelings are put down. He's read every single page more times than he could count. It brought a faint smile to his lips, thinking about all the things he knew about you. You never opened up to him unlike the humans at the Forsaken HQ and his patience started to wear thin after a while.

He couldn't help it. He wanted- no, needed to know you more. Who were you under the heavy title of "commandant"? What were you like before? What would you be doing if it weren't for the Punishing Virus? Would you be happy if you lived on Earth, or do you prefer to live among the stars? Are you loyal to Babylonia or your companions? He wanted to learn so much about you, but you always kept a distance. He could feel it, he could feel an invisible wall you would put up, barring him from getting any closer and from your secrets slipping out, but you...you were like a flower blooming in the desert. Beautiful, resilient, and wonderous, can you blame him? Can you blame him for finally cracking and taking things into his own hands?

He moves towards your window and draws your curtains closed, careful not to be visible from any potential passerby. After all, your sleeping form and all the thoughts and expressions you don't let anyone else see is for his eyes and M.I.N.D. alone. He walks towards your bed slowly, as though he might wake you even though he knew you wouldn't, not even if he pried you open with his fingers. He only knows that because it done it a few times, oh how sweet your soft little whimpers were as you would squirm and writhe in your sleep. The memories tug a small smile out of the corner of Watanabe's lips and his eyes instinctually drag away from your face and down to your thighs at the thought.

Watanabe gently brushes the back of his fingers against your cheek, admiring the way your warmth seeps into his synthetic skin so easily, making his M.I.N.D. hum in satisfaction. He wonders if you'd ever let him this close to you if you were awake, he tilts his head in thought as his fingers brush your skin. Perhaps it's best that you don't, your position as a commandant might be put in danger if you allowed him to display his affection for you this way in public.

He pauses. Affection? Is this really affection, or just obsession at this point? He'd throw away everything for you if you asked him to. He would abandon everything if it meant he could have you, if it meant you'd devote yourself to him the way he does to you. God, if such a thing exists then grant him this one prayer.

Let him stay by your side until your youth fades and your body wilts and withers. And in your final moments, he'll capture your conscious and your memories so he can keep you and protect you until eternity.

Yes. Watanabe smiles softly as he gently lays next you, inhaling your scent and feeling your warmth. You are so naive, so trusting, but it's alright. He'll keep you safe. He's been around for longer, seen the deluge both humans and corrupted bring, he knows what's best. He knows what's best for you, he just needs you to trust him more. Watanabe slowly leans forward and softly kisses your cheek as his nose brushes against your skin.

"I'll keep you safe, Commandant. Even if you struggle against me, I'll make you come to me in the end."

#yandere watanabe #punishing: gray raven #yandere pgr #pgr watanabe #pgr x reader #watanabe x reader #yandere x reader #yandere watanabe x reader #cw noncon #nonhuman #yandere fic #yandere robot #unhappy writings #punishing gray raven imagines #punishing gray raven #yandere punishing gray raven

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despazito · 1 year

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I have conflicting feelings about so called "therapy talk" in animated shows nowadays.

I'm not sure if I like the term in general because i think it's dismissive of the concept as a whole, which I feel throws the baby out with the bathwater. Like to me at least the definition of therapy talk means being extremely emotionally mature, being able to successfully identify and communicate your feelings, and using empathy to do the same with others' feelings. which I think are all good qualities to have in a person, but detrimental to a fictional story if this trait is shared equally amongst the WHOLE cast and that's what bothers me about its overusage now.

People just don't have interpersonal conflict this way!! especially amongst kids or teens. Or at least it's extremely uncommon to have these types of kindcore interactions with others outside of a moderated clinical setting.

Emotional intelligence like that isn't a switch you can flick, characters may repress things or drop a facade to deliver some truths or philosophy to the protagonist but it has to dovetail in with the rest of their character. A character who showed no previous capacity for such maturity just feels unnatural to suddenly act very wise for a scene if it's played completely straight.

For instance, Patrick Star is great at playing this for comedy. His sudden rare bursts of extreme mature clarity are so opposite to the rest of his character that it loops all the way back into the comedic. But then imagine a character like Scrappy Doo busting out a lecture on externalizing his unresolved anger from past experiences without a shred of irony. Or Jesse Pinkman breaking his character of a wannabe gangster drug dealer to deliver a carefully worded clapback to walt about toxicity and gaslighting explaining the deepest mechanics of his personality. It would kind of suck, right? Which is why when Aaron Paul's character in Bojack gets a scene like that as Todd, it's very introspective but still delivered in Todd's voice because the writers know Todd and know the boundaries of what he can articulate.

Characters can gain introspection and learn to understand themselves over the course of a narrative, but it has to feel natural and have some precedent. It's a bit annoying when all the characters resolve emotional conflict like they've taken a class in anger management before.

And i think a lot of it is the writer idealizing relationships and interactions between their characters and a weird obsession with morality in fiction now. We need to be spoonfed why this character is bad or what is currently occurring in a lecture from another character lest someone get the wrong impression from the text, in many ways it comes across as unconfident writing.

In a perfect (or dystopian to some) world everyone can communicate impeccably with everyone’s feelings in mind and people will come away with the exact reading of a text the author implied. and sure it can be good escapism if that’s what you crave. but it just doesn’t make for very interesting stories!!

Some writers will try to hide therapy talk under several layers of meta irony, but honestly those can feel even lamer to me and dare I say lazier in execution. It's quite literally telling instead of showing the audience exactly how a character feels by having them sarcastically voice their internal feelings in the format of a mindfulness diary prompt instead of feeling confident enough in your audience to pick up on those themes themselves through subtler acting cues or interactions. It's the internal conflict equivalent of loudly breaking the fourth wall to shout that motorcycle slide was from Akira, instead of having faith in the viewer to catch a reference on their own.

This kind of self aware speaking about emotions definitely has its place, most notably in preschool programming because many of those shows are about teaching kids emotional intelligence and conflict resolution. But I am getting tired of this trope in other genres for older audiences, let things be messy and ambiguous! Your characters don't have to be perfect people! Let them have misunderstandings and make mistakes in relationships instead of speaking like licensed counselors!!

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dearcat1 · 1 year

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(Complicated)

Part 63 of Biases and Expectations

Emilia should have started taking the pills again after the big fight. It's been months but they're still a little tentative around each other, no matter the many therapy sessions. The reality of it is that Xanxus pulled a gun on her and Emilia went and fucked a random guy just to mess with his head. It's less of a mess now but it's still a mess and their relationship itself is new, in a way. What's been between them has always been about the kids, before that it was a mere formality. Now they're learning each other outside of what parenthood made available. A baby takes over your life and it's scary in the moment they're now. This is new and vulnerable and yet… She wants this little baby too. Emilia bites her lip, pockets the test and goes straight into Xanxus's office. At least Nicki is taking her nap and Anton started first grade before they even left for the ill-fated trip.

Xanxus looks up from his paperwork when she enters, waving both Squalo and Lussuria away and pointing at the door. "Emilia?"

It's fair, Emilia doesn't usually visit his office without the kids. Still, she just waits until his elements are gone to walk around his desk and offer him the test. Xanxus pulls her into his lap before he even registers what she's offered him. It's something he does now, pull her closer whenever she's in arm's reach. It's slightly worrying but Emilia likes it, to a degree. "Do you want it?"

Her husband takes in the test, turning it one way and the other in his hand before setting it down on his desk. "Yeah."

But… he showed more interest when Emilia was pregnant with Nicki and Emilia can admit to being a little paranoid. She grunts, unsure of if she should leave or go. This is a terrible idea.

"Emilia?" Xanxus tightens his hold on her, not enough to restrict but enough to signify that he doesn't want her to go.

She could ask him why he doesn't want this but she knows and it's the reason behind it that weighs so much on her. Emilia leans into him, hiding her expression by the closeness. "I fucked up, I'm sorry."

He grunts but leans back, dragging her with him. "Emilia, if it was his you'd be showing quite a bit by now." She would be in the waddling stage. "Why would you say that?"

"I…" Emilia clicks her tongue. It's difficult to show him doubt or fears but they've been working on it with the therapist and it's no good to slack off now. "I guess I'm worried you won't want this one or there will be resentment somehow."

Xanxus takes that in but doesn't answer quickly. He just lays there, staring at the ceiling before sighing. "If there was any doubt that it's mine, I'd be pissed. I don't think I could raise a stranger's kid but this one is mine and I love our kids."

Emilia looks at him, "I know. You know I know. Not what I meant." She hesitates for a moment before kissing his cheek. "I know you were curious about the pregnancy, I think that's why you wanted another one. But you're still angry with me, I don't know if you can stomach being around me for that long and… I worry you won't want to be around and then resent that it robbed you of the experience, I guess."

"Hu." Xanxus closes his eyes. "You notice far more than I gave you credit for." Emilia doesn't answer but Xanxus snorts. "I'm a grown ass man, I can deal with it. And I'm angry, yes. But so are you. We're getting better."

"Are you going to be a part of this?"

He thinks that through. "Yeah. And Emilia, I'm not angry with you for fucking that dude, though I hope you know the moron is dead." Xanxus waits for Emilia to answer but she waits him out. "I'm angry at you because our marriage was falling to pieces around us, you knew it was and you couldn't be bothered to communicate with me."

Oh. Emilia blinks, she could turn those words around on him. Xanxus realizes too, if the way he's all but braced for impact is any way to judge. It's just… what use would it have? Emilia snuggles closer instead, thinking that through. Why did she never say anything to him? It's true that she's overly careful in how she words her beliefs and opinions to him. "I'm terrified of you."

"Why?"

Emilia leans back, taking a good look at him. "It's strange," she shrugs. "You could hurt me so easily, anytime. You know you can, you have. Not physically, not really, but you have. And you could get rid of me if you wanted." She raises her hand so that he'll let her speak. "But despite all that, you're safe in a way. The danger I know, I guess. It's comforting, in a twisted sort of way."

Xanxus stares at her before looking down. "I know what you mean."

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ar3ndoesarson · 2 years

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So please, hurry, leave me.

Haha yeah new Klance brainrot.

Titel from 'First Love/Late Spring' by Mitski

"Buddy, are you okay...?"

Of course Hunk was the first one to notice something was off.

Not that Lance would be suprised by that. After all, they knew each other since pretty much forever and in all those years Hunk had learned how to tell when Lance was faking.

"Honestly.. I'm just really tired." he said, giving his friend a soft smile, hoping it would make Hunk worry less. "Y'know with all the Voltron stuff going on I can barely get some rest, man."

Liar, a small voice inside his head hissed.

"You know you can talk to me, whenever you feel like it.", Hunk said, an encouraging smile on his face.

"Yeah, Hunk, I know. Don't worry about me, bud, I just need to rest for a bit."

"Okay..."

Lance knew Hunk had a concerned frown on his face when he walked out the room. However he couldn't bring himself to care much, just wanting to get to his room and sink into his pillow to cry.

Making his way out the lobby and heading straight to the dorms, letting out a relieved sigh when he was finally alone in his room, his thoughts began to spiral again.

He really - really - appreciated that Hunk cared so much about him and wanted to make sure he was okay. It wasn't even like he tried to keep his homesickness under covers or anything, he'd talked with Hunk about his worries a few times already. That maybe they wouldn't ever return home. That the last thing his family would ever see of him were the pictures on the missing report. They'd be devastated. They'd miss him. Hell, he missed them too. So, so much.

Just... Today was different. Today they would've celebrated Veronicas birthday.

Since a big portion of Lance's family was actually free during this time of the year, Veronicas birthday had always been special. Their family would always have a big celebration on the beach - the house way too small for so many friends and family members. Since Luis, Lances oldest brother, had already moved out with his own family there was barely a chance to meet him in person with all the Garrison stuff going on, as well as Luis' own job. Even his abuela would fly over all the way from mexico to visit them.

This would've been the day Lance finally got to see them again.

But now he was in space.

"Um... Lance?"

A muffled voice pulled Lance back to reality and he realized he had overheard someone knocking at his door.

"What do you want, Keith?", he asked not even bothering to hide his impatience because all he wanted to do was curl up on his bed and pretend to be dead.

The door slid to the side and Keith stepped inside, the door closing behind him, and walked towards Lance. He paused in the middle of the room, suddenly a bit unsure and crossing his arms. (He does that to prevent himself from fidgeting, Lance had noticed over the time they've lived in the castle together.)

"Look, I don't exactly know what's going on but you gotta get your shit together."

Oh c'mon..

Even Keith had picked up on his behaviour today, Lance thought he could hide it well. Or maybe Keith just... actually cared?

"Oh? Is Keithy boy worrying about me? That's new." A little humor to cope would surely be okay.

"No Lance. No joking this time. You're holding us back. But-" "Yeah sorry that I'm holding up the team," Lance cuts him off, bitter, "you're right, I shouldn't think too much about that we're stranded on another fucking plantet, in a different fucking solar system, with no way home!"

Keith always finds a way to get him riled up - intentional ot not.

Lance should've known. It's not that Keith worries about him, not that he cares. He just wants to get the job done and Lance is bad at said job. Way to get his hopes up for nothing.

Keith winces. "Lance, I- listen, I didn't mean it like that... We- we all want to get back to earth, I get it-" And that's where he's wrong. Lance can feel the anger, frustration and hopelessness swirl in his stomach, mixing into one cocktail of ugly emotions, making him feel sick. "But that's it! You DON'T get it! You know NOTHING about me, stop pretending you do, you dont even have a family to get back to!"

Almost like in slow motion, Lance could see the exact moment his words sunk into Keith. Saw his face, first eyes wide open, shock clearly visible in them. Then his expression changed, like someone had punched him in the gut, his brows furrowed, chaw clenched and his fists curled into a tight fist. Regret washed over Lance in overwhelming waves. He didn't mean it - knew it wasn't true. And yet, he had purposely adressed the one thing he knew would make Keith snap. Keith - the one person he'd never want to hurt.

"Keith, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it, I'm so, so-" and then Keiths fist connects to his jaw.

"I hate you so much! So, so much."

Before Lance could come to his senses again he was pushed to the ground, Keith climbing on top of him and grabbing him by his collar. His expression looks so pained it makes Lance's stomach twist and the fact that he is the reason for it is like a stab in the heart.

"Keith, I'm so unbelievably sorry. What I said was horrible. I don't- I didn't-" "Oh fuck you, I don't want you lame apology!" Keith hisses, raising his fist to try and punch Lance again, but stopping midway. "The ONE time I try to be a 'good team member™' and try to talk to you, you decide to fuck it up with the worst thing you could say to me. What is WRONG with you??"

And then he actually breaks. A involuntary sob escapes his throat and he let's his hand sink and loosens the grip on Lance's shirt. Tears, held in for way too long, streak down his face and drip onto Lance's chest, wettening his shirt. Keith begins to shiver, choking out another sob.

To say the least, Lance is overwhelmed. Keith, the one that never shows emotions - always a stoic face or, alternatively, an angry one - is fully breaking down on top of Lance and it's his fault.

"Shhh, let it all out. It's- it's okay?", Lance tries, unsure what to do. This doesn't earn him another punch, so he supposes it could've been worse.

Completely unable to read Keith, he just does what he would've wanted if he were in the other's situation so he slowly raises his hands, giving Keith enough time to push them away ( he doesn't!), and then wraps them around the other boy.

First Keith tenses, and just when Lance wants to let go again because of course Keith isn't a hug kinda person (probably should've known), Keith sinks down and leans into Lance. His forehead rests against Lance's chest, hiding his face in Lance's shirt and quietly sobbing into it. So Lance leaves his arms around Keith, slowly rubbing circles on his back to calm him down.

Well...... this is new.

Keith finally starts to calm down, but Lance doesn't really dare to move and Keith doesn't do so either, so they just stay that way - lying on the ground, Lance's hands wrapped around Keiths middle - that is.

"You're so dumb. You know that?" Keith finally breaks the silence, his voice a bit strained from crying.

"Well, you're a big crybaby." Lance counters, a but relieved that they're back to bickering. They don't get personal often and he really doesn't know how to deal with that.

"Oh shut up. You're like the biggest asshole in space."

Well, that's true.

"I am really sorry about what I said, y'know? Like, I don't expect you to be like 'Oh don't sweat it, we're cool' but I just wanted you to know that I never meant it."

"Hm... It's not like I didn't know already. To be honest it just hurt hearing it from you." Keith answers. He sounds a bit hesitant.

Lance doesn't really know what to say to that, what to make of Keiths words.

They stay quiet for a while until Keith finally gets off of Lance. If he looks close enough, he can make out a blush covering his cheeks, but Lance can't really appreciate it because Keiths eyes are still red from crying and the guilt is still gnawing at him.

Lance also sits up and crawls across the room to lean on his bedframe. He leans his head back onto the matress and stares at the ceiling. After a few moments he hears shuffling and then Keith joins him, mirroring his pose. Their shoulders are touching but neither of them moves away.

"Why'd you say it like that?" he finally asks. It's barely a whisper and he kind of wishes Keith wouldn't hear. But he does. "What do you mean?"

"Ya know. 'Hearing it from you'. What's that mean?" Lance cocks his head to the side to see Keiths expression before staring back at the ceiling.

"This is the thing you take away from what I said?" Keith let's out an ugly snort and Lance can't stop himself from smiling a bit too. "I mean, yeah." he answers.

Keith sighs "Well, coming back to your question...", he turns himself to look at Lance. "... I think you know why I said that."

Maybe Lance does. Maybe all the little signs he thought were in his head weren't actually in his head.

But he really wants to hear Keith say it.

"But I dont." He says, looking back at Keith. He can see the little frown on his face

"Don't make me say it, Lance. I've had enough emotional tumult for today."

"No, really. I really don't get it."

"Wow. Now you're even more of a dick that I thought."

A small grin hushes over Lance's face. "Yeah? Well apparently you like this di-"

"Okay no. This is it, I'm getting outta here." Keith spouts flustered. He gets up and turns away from Lance (to hide his own grin, but if you ask him that never happened) and slowly walks towards the door.

"No! Come back I'm sorry!" Lance whines.

Keith really does try to ignore the other boy but eventually they both end up lying on the floor again giggling like kids about the stupidest things.

"Man this is such a weird story. If our kids ever ask how we told each other they'll think I'm the worst." Lance means, face going completely serious.

Keith almost chokes on his own spit.

"Kids??? Lance I'm-"

Done??? Might edit again idk

This kind of took me way too long to write but uhh whatever thanks for reading, I really appreciate it <3

#klance #voltron #klangst #lance mcclain #keith kogane #vld klance #vld lance #vld keith #Vld

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bybdolan · 2 years

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hey! saw ur post about tjr and her books, and honestly if you didn’t enjoy daisy jones or evelyn hugo, don’t bother with malibu rising, it’s just not very good. i enjoyed the other two, even with their flaws, but malibu rising just lacks the same charm, making the poor writing stick out. also your review of evelyn hugo is so real™️. i loved it but also wished it could’ve been more. the portrayal evelyn’s bisexuality was /interesting/ to say the least. and it would’ve been nice if she’d been with a woman other than celia, just to experience it and learn more about herself. not to mention, i wasn’t 100% sold on their relationship. but nonetheless i could still ship them and i enjoyed her queerplatonic relationship with harry. however the way race is handled is very sloppy. one line about barely being in the civil rights movement isn’t much considering that evelyn is described as non-white. it sometimes felt like i was reading the summary of a really good book instead of actually watching ya know, reading it

Thank you so much for sending this ask <3 i have sooo many thoughts of TJR and this allows me to share almost all of them.

I have heard a lot of. Not good stuff. About Malibu Rising, but I want to give it a try to see if the "telling instead of showing" aspect is as strong in it as it is in her other books despite being told in real time. The "looking back on my life" format plays into it so much because these people are able to say why they did what in hindsight; they've had time to reflect. And if Daisy Jones was a Rolling Stone cover story that wouldn't be an issue given that I signed up for having stuff explained to me, but in a novel it doesn't hold my attention. I don't need somebody to guide me through the story without ever giving me time to stray off the designed path a bit. TJR tends to be a tad patronizing in her writing, her characters are meant to be believed at all times and rarely ever questioned, but that doesn’t reflect the truth: All of these people are unreliable to some degree because they are human and misremeber things or hide stuff to make themselves look better. ALSO: A good interviewer doesn’t just write down everything the interviewee says but adds their own perspective (which is how we get stuff like the Jeremy Strong profile everybody is so obsessed with; it seems like a lot got lost in translation there). Sure, the published Evelyn Hugo book in the novel is a biography, so it isn’t supposed to have that, however, in the novel itself Monique could have or should have challenged Evelyn more imo. Why give your interviewers a backstory when they end up just being there to write down shit.

Re: The representation aspect... I am gonna focus on the bisexual rep here because I am a bi girl myself and therefore can talk more on that specific issue. There is no right or wrong way to be bi, being in love with one woman only is enough if you want to use that label, howeverrr narratively Evelyn’s sexuality only ever revolving around Celia is... weak? We know she sleeps with other women off-screen, it gets mentioned at some point, however, we never actually hear Ev mention or talk about genuine attraction towards a woman that isn’t Celia. The way she looks at other women doesn’t feel queer, if that makes sense. Gay women don’t want to sleep with every girl they meet obviously, but feeling flustered when a pretty girl touches you, or having very intense female friendships seem to be a pretty common part of the queer woman experience and none of that is found in Evelyn Hugo. The way it is written is very straight even though the main love story is queer. Evelyn doesn’t read as queer when she isn’t romantically involved with Celia, and that feels weird. Her bisexuality is only there to make her more interesting, to give her a secret, and to make Celia belittle her for it Plus: I think her only ever having negative experiences with her other partners (all men) makes the love story weaker. Celia and her are not a great couple, and her husbands ALL treating her badly (except Harry) just make it seem as if Celia is the best option she has. Had she realized in another good relationship that it doesn’t give her what Celia gave her, it would have been more impactful. Not to mention that Celia does a lot of thing Evelyn doesn’t like about her ex husbands.

I think it all comes down to what you said in your final sentence: The ideas are there but the execution lacks depth. Evelyn gets all these things taped to her (being queer, being a WOC, being sexualized for her entire life) in order to make the story more interesting, but the novel never gets DEEP into these things outside of very explicitly mentioning them a bunch of times. Evelyn never stops being bisexual, but we don’t see that side of her until we need to narratively. Same goes for her being Latina. We get one (1) scene of her regretting neglecting and hiding her heritage for so long, but there are never any subconcious things that makes us realize that before she does. TJR makes her characters tell us everything and it’s boring, which is a shame given that her ideas are so interesting. Every part of ourselves influences us every second of the day, sometimes more, sometimes less, but that doesn’t seem to be the case for her characters.

#ask #anonymous #many thoughts head full

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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WHAT WILL JIMIN POST ON JK'S BIRTHDAY 2020?

Interesting question. I get why my Askbox is flooded with it. May thirteen was a disappointment. Most Jikookers were looking forward to a reinforcement of a long established Jikook tradition- well everyone except me and a couple others I think. Y'all don't be paying attention. Lol

Jikook are complex beings and like any complex organism they learn to adapt to situations and surroundings. They are predictable in that way but also they are not. It's paradoxical, I know.

If you paid any attention to what was going on from late March through to June you'd have known there was little to no likelihood May 13 was gonna happen.

And if it had happened, it would have taken on a whole new meaning at least to some of us. But hey, 5/8 right? Sure. Jimin smart. We stan a Bigbrain.

Anywho, tomorrow is not about Jimin or Jikook or any ship. It's about JK. It's about celebrating the gift of life that he is. For all the times he's been hated on, this is the only day out of 365 days that we as a fandom get to put our differences aside and come together to show our love and appreciation for him- I hope.

I don't see why Jimin wouldn't do the same for him. Especially since it's been a long established tradition not just for Jikook but for all the members.

They all celebrate eachother's birthday to varying degrees but at the bare minimum they wish each other a happy birthday. That's the norm.

All the other members will wish JK a happy birthday and that includes Jimim. If you understand why people celebrate others birthday you'll understand this is not complicated at all. So it's not a question of will Jimin post tomorrow.

Jimin is a very kind, thoughtful and a loving person. It would be weird of him not to wish his fellow bandmate a happy birthday on his birthday. He would. He should. Rest assured.

But I understand that what y'all are asking me as far as Jikook is concerned and shipping goes is whether Jimin would do something extraordinary for JK this year like he did last year, what he would do and whether he would post about it.

Even though I am certain he will post, I can't tell you what that post is going to be, I'm an alien not Jesus you know?

What I can speculate on is whether or not Jimin would make another grand gesture like that of last year. Which is what this post is going to be about.

The answer to that question is not as simple as yes he would or no he wouldn't. Personally, I expect him to do something a little bit out of the ordinary or coded this year. I'll explain in a bit.

To be clear, I don't expect a repeat of last year or anything of the magnitude of last year at all as much as that would make me uWu so hard. Although... what if he pulls a 360 on us and propose to Jk on his birthday?what? I'm speaking it into existence!

What Jimin did last year was an exception not the norm. You don't fly half way across the world just because. To me that was a grand grand gesture in the history of JK's birthdays and I don't expect a repeat of it unless the circumstances that lead to that moment repeats its self.

The circumstances being that they were broke up and he was trying to fix things. Cough, cough.

JK's birthday last year was an Echo of Manila. A general consensus among Jikookers, is that JK had been mad because Jimin was choosing to spend time with Taemin on the eve of his birthday hence why he had had posted that song knowing full well Jimin would see it as a way to guilt trip Jimin.

If that is right, then Jimin flying over to be with Jk would be a huge statement.

2015 and 2019 are the years that have stood out to me most, birthday wise: Jimin saying he wanted to give JK a kiss on his 18th birthday and him flying from Paris to South K to be with JK on his birthday.

If you've ever heard Jimin talk about money, he is prudent and wise about money. I mean rather than spend millions on a luxury apartment he chose to buy an investment property instead. He is a Libra, I wouldn't expect anything less.

On his vacation trips, he's known to share cost of expenses with the friends he travels with if he's traveling with them. I won't call him frugal though, thoughtful and selective is more like it.

So when he does something of this nature, it's not nothing. He was making a statement period. He was proving something to someone- if you say Army I'll smack the back of your head. Lol

JK. He was proving something to JK. It's always been JK- so help me lord if you say it's Fanservice! It is not. It wasn't for Fanservice.

I've seen people around corners of the internet saying he didn't have to post his Paris video if he was going to go see JK anyway to celebrate with him. That the whole video message thing on Twitter seemed very much private.

I agree with the part about the video seeming private. It seemed personal to me. But it also seemed like the point of that video was to let JK know his location at the time to perhaps throw him off the surprise he had planned for later.

People have argued JM was just pulling a 'prank' on JK with that whole Paris trip to begin with. They were on a hiatus, they had been together prior to JM leaving for France a few days to JK's birthday so it doesn't make sense that they would be broken up at that time period and it doesn't make sense that Jimin will leave for Paris and fly back home only to leave again so it must be a prank.

... Sure. Valid point. However, I don't see Jimin being reckless with money or honestly that shallow. If that was a prank that was an expensive one.

And yes, Jimin didn't have to go on the trip. It wasn't business. It was leisure. I can see how that would be confusing to JK especially when it seemed JM was choosing to spend time with someone, be somewhere else rather than with him on his birthday- yet again. Coughing in Manila.

But sure, I can see how that would be the best 'prank' surprise for JK. Shaking my head. I don't think that was all that was happening with Jikook around that time as I have hinted at several times across my blog posts.

Jikook were broke up around that time, that trip was a grand gesture, Jimin's way to make up with Jk let him know he's learned his lessons. His friends are important but JK comes first. The lightning struck twice for JM and he got a second chance to redeem himself- the definition of GRAND gesture.

If you are a Kpop enthusiast you would also know about the political climate in S.K around that time frame and how it was impacting the Kpop world in general. Certain Boy Bands were under investigation for certain 'offences' I don't want to get into.

On August 11th, one member of such said boy band was arrested- allegedly. I don't know what it had to do with BTS or whether it had anything to do with them at all and I'm not insinuating anything but I just found that impromptu hiatus in August a bit suspicious giving everything else that was going on in S.K.

If 'people' were looking into Kpop boybands then I am certain BTS was on top of that list just because they are the biggest boyband and have been a target of haters for years.

Needless to say, I do not think they were gonna find anything at all on the boys if in deed they had looked but if the boys had a secret- like say two of their members being in the LGBTQ plus community then I assume that secret was bound to be found out?

It is why I believe the boys were asked to lay low in August and that Jikook specifically had been asked by BigHit to tone things down while they navigated the muddy mess of public scrutiny- in my opinion.

I also find it a bit interesting that both of Jikook later that same month and period would be involved in a scandal involving women- But feel free to draw your own conclusions on that however you please. This is just mine: I think that move was straight out of the PR books. Classic Olivia Pope-esque move. Lol

I know some people think it is in the best interest of Jikook to hide their relationship if they are real and that Jikook want to hide their relationship: I disagree.

Just based on my own observation, I don't think they enjoy hiding at all. Especially JK. Well, he did say he didn't want to hide anymore in GCF Saipan didn't he? Can't argue with that.

But also, out of the two, JK is the one who seems the most grounded and sure about their relationship. This is seen best in moments where they've almost been caught. JK's been the least bothered or throw off. Almost as if he doesn't mind if people find out about them.

For instance, when BTS exposed JK for sneaking into Jimin's bed Jimin looked terrified as fuck. He pointed to JK, almost throwing him under the bus but for someone behind the camera asking him to chill, Jimin would have freaked out of his mind.

Then we have that infamous moment when Jimin and JK walked into JK's room and spotted the camera. The look on JM's face said it all. But JK seemed pretty chill about it to me.

Now these moments are relevant because JM was caught unaware. They were both caught off guard and so their reactions were instinctive. By instinct Jimin freaked out which says to me he is afraid to be exposed or outed perhaps because he isn't ready to come out- yet. While JK's reaction on the other says to me he doesn't mind at all if people found out about them which could be because he is ready to come out.

I know what you are thinking and no. That time in the track when they were caught taking photos- JK looked more like he didn't appreciate the invasion of his privacy rather then terrified he was caught. They were on set and so they knew there were cameras roaming around and anyone could stumble on them. They were both consciously self aware of their environment which is why JM was able to make a quick comeback.

I can go on and on about this about this topic but the post is already getting too long.

My point is, Jikook don't like to hide. When you are in love you want the whole world to know. And so often, they fluctuate between wanting to keep their relationship a secret for the sake of their careers and wanting to declare and openly claim eachother.

Keeping their relationship a secret is bound to be stressful on them physically and emotionally. Just because they don't like to be outed don't mean they enjoy hiding.

Their secret is not theirs alone to tell. They have people whose careers depend on them. Their secret is inextricably linked with five other people. People whose careers could end instantly if their secret so much as came out accidentally or even by design.

I don't think either of them is selfish enough to risk that. Not even in the name of love. And this is especially true for Jimin the way I see it. As for JK..... I don't think he gives a shit. Bless him.

This doesn't mean, however, that they don't enjoy teetering the line. It's part of the thrill that fuels their passions- when they get to play at being caught and exposed or just the mere thought they are out smarting the public- fucking exhibitionist!

Jokes aside, I believe there is a sense of comfort and security they get from knowing there are thousands of people out there who enjoy and celebrate their love as openly as they would want to and they live openly vicariously through us.

Our support and acceptance means so much to them. Which is why often you find them reaching out to us.

Being told to lay low even if it's for their own interests would get on their nerves especially for a rebel like JK and Jimin knew this hence why that public display of his affection for Jk on Twitter.

Thus, I do I think JM would make another gesture similar to what he did last year but whatever gesture of he does make one would be unique in it's own way from last year's and would be more of an assurance of his love for JK and a prove to Army that they are fine just because i think they have both been through a lot this year just as he said in the dynamite MV reaction VLive which was rudely sabotaged by Tae.

Jimin seemed like he wanted to have a 'public' moment with JK as explained in my previous post on the Dynamite Reaction Vlive. And given as that moment was interrupted, I expect him to try that again. Whatever message he wanted to deliver it seemed more intended for JK as much as us their supporters.

He has been pretty active on social media lately in the days leading up to JK's birthday. He seems to be gearing up for something. He ain't slick.

So yea, part of me hopes and expect him to do something nice, to make a statement similar to last year's but I cannot ignore also that there's been a lot of eyes and attention on Jikook a lot lately. More so than usual.

Posting something of that nature would single them out and only escalate the situation especially if it is something that makes them both stand out from the others.

For context, I am talking about the heat they recieved as a result of the Dynamite MV. That heat is drenched in homophobia and they and BigHit could care shit about that as I explained in my previous post but you have to understand it can have a negative impact on their mental health.

I mean, NamJoon is constantly being paired with JK a lot lately. It's almost as if he is keeping an eye on Him constantly if you know what I mean. Tae has also been keeping an eye on Jikook, outing Jikook's schemes and shenanigans before they happen like in that Dynamite MV Reaction VLive where he asked JK not to look into the camera during Jimin's solo commentary.

It's understandable. Their interest is as stake too. If Jikook go down, they are going down too. It's daisy.

What I'm saying is, Jikook is being monitored and it would be daring of Jimin to do something as grand for JK openly like that.

But who knows. If it's gonna make JK happy because they've both been through a lot this half of the year then JM would definitely definitely do it. He is defiant like that and he can be a bit of a dare devil when it comes to proving his stance to Jk. He wouldn't hesitate for a second. I love that about him.

Mad respect for him if he does. Mad mad respect for him if he does. But if he doesn't you'd all know why.

In conclusion, I'm saying I'm expecting something more than a happy birthday text from Jimin this year. I'm expecting something more meaningful, deep, coded and uniquely Jikook.

If it happens to be a proposal Ayla you can have all my shmoney! Lol

Signed,

GOLDY

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