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thetravelerwrites · 6 years

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Commitments: Part 2 (Gargoyles Fanfic)

Rating: Teen Fandom: Disney’s Gargoyles Relationships: Goliath x Elisa Maza Additional Tags: Marriage, Wedding Day Trigger Warnings: Light Language, Sex Mention Words: 3443

It's the day of the ceremony. Elisa has a heart to heart with her mother and father. Please leave feedback!

October 24th, 1999: Goliath and Elisa had chosen this date for the ceremony because it was five years to the night of their first meeting, when he had plucked her from the sky after, admittedly, scaring her off a parapet.

Unfortunately, their union could only be symbolic and not legal. It would also have to be a secret from everyone except for their family and closest friends, but they figured, what else is new? Elisa had long been a target of hate groups for merely having alleged, unconfirmed connections to the Gargoyles, and coming out publicly as one of their staunchest supporters hadn’t done her any favors, but openly marrying a Gargoyle would not only have been extremely controversial, it could have cost her her job, home, safety, and possibly even her freedom.

After talking with Amy, Goliath’s public defender who now acted as the Gargoyles’ legal representation in all civil matters, he had learned that there was a law prohibiting humans from marrying any being that was not also human, regardless of level of sentience or intelligence. Which meant that Elisa’s relationship with Goliath was technically bestiality and as such, illegal. Attempting to obtain a marriage license could have landed them both in jail.

There had been no such law as of 1997, Amy had told him, and she surmised the law had been pushed through in secret around the same time the Gargoyle Civil Rights Movement was being fought in court.

Eighteen months after Gargoyles had become public knowledge, the Gargoyles of the Manhattan Clan and many of their allies had testified in front of a grand jury for the Gargoyles’ very right to exist without persecution. After a lengthy battle and many sacrifices and concessions, they had won.

Following the trial, a bill had been passed granting the Manhattan Clan American citizenship, basic civil rights, and put them on the endangered species list, which automatically protected them against unlawful imprisonment, exploitation, experimentation, assault, and murder.

Before the GCRM, ending a Gargoyle’s life had no legal ramifications whatsoever, but after the bill was passed, the act of killing a Gargoyle while they were awake had been classified as murder. Any person responsible for the killing of a Gargoyle could face up to 25 years in prison.

Destroying a stone Gargoyle was seen as a “common law murder” and carried with it a much lesser sentence, but the prosecution would have to prove that the stone statue the defendant destroyed was a living gargoyle. Otherwise it was simply malicious property damage, though it could possibly be tried as a hate crime.

The bill also protected any human that associated with the Gargoyles from retaliation or discrimination, which finally allowed Elisa the chance to proudly support her friends for the entire world to see. It felt great to stand with them as an advocate after hiding them and keeping her friendship with them a secret for so long.

Despite this historic victory for their kind, there was still much prejudice and hatred toward Gargoyles and the people who stood up for them. Their bold willingness to take on public opinion had afforded them some liberties, but in the eyes of the world, Gargoyles were still practically animals, and the bill had done nothing to change that.

There were new laws in place to protect Gargoyles against threats and violence, but seemingly nothing to defend them from discrimination. In fact, several xenophobic laws that had not previously existed prior to the GCRM seemed to have quietly popped up out of nowhere.

There was a law that protected the right of any public, private, or federally owned business to refuse service to Gargoyles, including hospitals and clinics. Gargoyles also could not secure a job, license, or any property that exceeded $2000 unless they could procure a valid social security number, while at the same time there was a law prohibiting Gargoyles from legally obtaining a social security number. Gargoyles were also barred from attending any state funded schools, including trade programs, and could not earn any certificate, diploma, or degree. Amy was working to change the laws, but progress was slow and she was meeting opposition from all sides.

It baffled Goliath and infuriated Elisa, who was now forced to uphold these ridiculous laws. She hated it. It was unconstitutional and disgusting and she loathed every second that she had to be a part of it. It very nearly caused her to quit the justice system altogether, because this wasn’t justice, it wasn’t freedom, it wasn’t the same system that had convinced her to join the police force in the first place.

This was a perversion of civil liberties, bigots hiding behind a mask of equality, using the publicity of the Movement as a distraction to quietly impose their will on her friends without anyone realizing it. It made her sick to her stomach, mostly because there was nothing she could do to fix it.

The only thing stopping her from planting her boot firmly inside someone’s rear end the next time she heard the term “flying rats” was Goliath’s steady patience and temperance. He constantly reminded her that no one couldn’t stop them from affirming their love for each other, regardless of these new laws. He didn’t care who found out or how many jail cells he’d have to sleep in, he was committed to becoming her mate and nothing would stand in his way.

He loved her; nothing else mattered. He told her this every night, and every night she needed to hear it just to maintain her daily composure. But she was still angry.

The day of the ceremony arrived cool and comfortable. Elisa awoke at noon in her parent’s apartment, where Beth, Maggie, and Derek had also been staying, not just for moral support but protection in case word got out.

Since there were six hours until sundown, the process of getting ready was leisurely and relaxed. Elisa had decided to forgo several things considered normal for a wedding. There would be no bridesmaids or groomsmen, no flower girl or ring bearer, no best man or maid of honor. How would they choose one, anyway?

The ceremony itself would be short and simple with no frills or embellishments, other than Goliath and Elisa reciting vows that they had written for each other.

One thing would be done according to tradition, her father insisted, was walking her down the aisle himself. The ceremony would be taking place in the main hall of Castle Wyvern. Goliath would be standing at the fireplace with Diane with all their friends and loved ones gathered around them, and Peter would hand her off to Goliath. But, she said pointedly, he would not be giving her away as if she were property. Peter had held up his hands in acquiescence, laughing.

She wouldn’t be wearing a wedding dress; she instead wore a simple gown made of sapphire blue satin, to match the ring, with a low back and a short train. Attached to the straps was a small glass lily suspended on a silver chain that would dangle halfway down her spine. It was sleek and elegant with just a hint of slink. Beth had bought it for her in New Orleans during her post-semester vacation a few months ago, before Goliath had even asked Elisa to wed him. She and Beth often didn’t see eye to eye on fashion, but she had to admit this dress seemed like it was made for her.

She wouldn’t wear a veil or carry a bouquet, either. She did put her hair up, though, held back with a kanzashi in the shape of a blooming peony that Katana had given her as a wedding gift.

An hour before sundown, Elisa and her party loaded into two taxis and headed toward the Eyrie building. Maggie and Derek took to the rooftops and likely would arrive at the castle before them.

As they approached the building, Elisa had to admit she was feeling nervous. She tapped her foot anxiously and wrung her shaking hands.

“Wedding jitters?” Diane asked, sitting beside her.

“Yeah, I guess,” Elisa replied shakily.

Diane laid a calm, warm hand on her daughter’s cold, clasped ones. “Second thoughts?”

“No,” Elisa said firmly. “None whatsoever. I love Goliath. Marriage is unnatural for Gargoyles; he’s only doing this for me. And I want this, Mom. I really want this.” She shook her head and exhaled a trembling breath. “I don’t even know why I’m so nervous.”

Diane laughed gently. “It’s completely natural to be a little nervous, sweetheart. I needed several bellinis and a shot of tequila to marry your father, and even then, I thought I might ruin his shiny new shoes. Of course, that could have been the tequila.”

Elisa breathed a soft laugh. She looked at her mother shrewdly. “You’re really okay with this, aren’t you? Me and Goliath, I mean?”

“Of course I am, baby,” Diane said. “I want you to be happy. If Goliath makes you happy, then that’s what I want for you.”

“Dad wasn’t so sure.”

“Yes, but that’s just how fathers are, Elisa,” Diane tutted. “Remember your first boyfriend, Lucas?”

At that, Elisa laughed out loud. “Junior prom, first date, Dad sitting at the dinner table, cleaning his guns. How could I forget?”

“He did that with every boy you brought home,” Diane chuckled. “He also really liked giving those boys a rundown of all his arrests and showing them awful case files, just to shake them up.”

“Ricky ran from the house before I had time to get dressed for our date, remember? He was too scared to even look at me in class for weeks.” Elisa laughed.

Diane nodded, and they found themselves in a fit of giggles, holding each other. After a moment, they tittered to a stop.

“Goliath isn’t intimidated by Dad’s gun collection,” Elisa said.

“No, that he is not,” Diane agreed. “To be honest, honey, those boys you dated before were no match for you. You need a man who is just as strong as you are, even if he isn’t exactly a man. You’re good together. You’re a lifeline for each other. That’s something you don’t just give up on because it’s hard; the trials are what make it all worthwhile. And the two of you have had your fair share of trials. You have earned each other. Nothing else is important.”

Elisa smiled gratefully at her mother and hugged her around the shoulders.

“Thank you, Mama,” She said.

“Always, baby girl,” Her mother replied, returning her hug.

The taxis pulled into the private carport reserved for the Xanatos family. Xanatos had given Elisa and her family a code to use so they could avoid getting out in the company parking complex or in the street outside.

Peter and Beth had exited first, and Peter opened Elisa’s door and offered Elisa his hand, who smiled up at him and accepted it. She walked arm-in-arm with her father to the elevator, with Beth and her mother trailing behind, holding hands.

The sun was going down as the elevator opened to the top floor. The Maza family walked out into the open courtyard to reach the private room just off the main hall, and could see the Gargoyles on their perches in the red-gold light of sunset.

Unlike the other Gargoyles, who faced outward in their typical vigilant poses, Goliath stood inward, straight as a rail, head bowed, with his wings folded around him. According to him, this was traditional gesture for when a Gargoyle declared their intentions for another. It was also traditional to stand in the perch of one’s intended mate, but Elisa didn’t perch, so that aspect was overlooked.

Waiting for them in the private room was Derek and Maggie, who had arrived first as Elisa predicted. Owen had rather thoughtfully put out a small refreshments table for the bridal party. Xanatos had offered to throw them a big wedding with a reception and everything, which Elisa had refused in no uncertain terms. This smaller touch was much more fitting.

Also in the room were the stone figures of Angela and Broadway, crouched defensively around their egg. They were understandably protective of it and had taken to sleeping in this room during the day, as it was far more secure than standing out in the open over a one hundred and thirty story drop. Since the castle no longer had a rookery, and even if it did, keeping a single egg in there would be superfluous, the anxious parents-to-be took to guarding their precious cargo closely. When they were awake, the bundle never left Angela’s arms. Even during missions, Broadway and Angela took turns staying with the egg, keeping it within view at all times.

Elisa understood. It took a very long time for Gargoyle children to be born: six months gestation in the body of the female and then a full ten years as an egg. Elisa thought nine months was a long time to wait for a baby. She couldn’t even imagine the kind of apprehension and patience it took to wait for over a decade to meet your own child.

But, she reflected, if that’s what it took even for humans, she would do it. She would do anything to have a child. Before she met Goliath, it wasn’t something she had given much thought. Back then, she was much more focused on her career and wasn’t sure if she even wanted kids. If and when she decided she did, she figured she had plenty of time. Now that she knew it wasn’t a possibility with Goliath, it was all she could think about.

Elisa had talked to Beth and Maggie about it the night before. Maggie lamented that she wasn’t sure her augmented body was capable of bearing children or what effects her’s and Derek’s altered DNA would have on them. Beth and her girlfriend Serena, both only 21, had no interest in children. They both sympathized with her, but what could be done?

In Goliath, Elisa had found her true equal and soul mate. She was overjoyed to be with him and wouldn’t change a thing about their relationship, other than more social acceptance. Her mother was right, they had earned each other and they deserved to be happy. A child wouldn’t necessarily make it that much better, but still. Still. It would always be in the back of her mind, the one thing just out of reach.

Just as they settled in, cracks began to form in Angela’s and Broadway’s stone exterior. Instead of the normal explosive way they shed their skin, they carefully shifted this way and that to slither out of their cocoon, diligent even in sleep about protecting their offspring.

“Elisa!” Angela exclaimed upon seeing her, rising to her feet. “You look lovely!”

“Thanks, Angela,” Elisa said, embracing her.

“Are you nervous?” Angela asked as Broadway came up behind her, holding the egg.

“A bit,” Elisa said.

“I’ve never seen a human wedding before,” Broadway said. “Other than on T.V.”

“Neither have I,” Angela said.

“Well, this won’t be your average wedding, Big Guy,” Elisa said. “I dumped a bunch of the traditional stuff I didn’t think was necessary. This’ll be pretty bare bones compared to most other ceremonies.”

The door opened. Lexington, Brooklyn, and Katana entered the room with Matsuko, who had her tail wrapped around her father’s hand.

It was an odd contrast to see Brooklyn next to Lexington now, who had at one point been his and Broadway’s equal in age. Brooklyn no longer crouched when at rest anymore; that was apparently a trait among young Gargoyles or ones on the smallish side, like Lexington. Brooklyn had aged over forty years in the time stream, though it was more like twenty in equivalent human years, and his countenance reflected it. He stood much taller than before and straight as a post next to his mate, resting a hand on her shoulder.

Elisa felt a little like Lexington had gotten the short end of the stick. Compared to Broadway and Brooklyn, who were both mated and fathering children, Lexington seemed a little left out. He was always his usual cheerful self, though, and never seemed bitter about how things were.

“This is so exciting!” He said brightly. “Aren’t you excited?”

“That’s one word for it,” Elisa said wryly.

Katana grinned to see her gift in Elisa’s hair. “It suits you,” she said. Brooklyn smiled fondly at her.

“I love it, thank you again,” Elisa said.

“Goliath is in the Main Hall,” Brooklyn said, his voice deeper than it used to be. “He and the others are setting up and getting ready.”

“We’d better join them,” Derek said, nodding to the others in the room. All except Elisa and her father moved toward the door.

“Hey, guys, before you go,” Elisa said, addressing her Gargoyle companions and her family. “I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am to have you all in my life. You guys have been the best friends I’ve ever had, and I don’t know how to thank you for it. I know that this is all a little alien to you, and I’m honored that you’re all a part of it. I don’t know who I would be without you and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate each of you. I love you guys.”

“Aw, Elisa,” Lexington said shyly. “We love you, too.”

“I look forward to becoming part of your family,” Angela said. “My father loves you. His joy is my joy.”

“We’d better get going,” Diane said. “I need to get into position and prepare Goliath for the ceremony.”

Elisa nodded. They hadn’t done a rehearsal. This was all being done with no prep-work, largely because the ceremony itself was going to be short and to the point, so they hadn’t felt the need for it. Elisa was rethinking this now, perhaps a bit too late.

The others left to get into their places, leaving her alone with Peter. He held out his hands for hers, and she took them, facing her father and willing herself not to cry.

Peter shook his head, smiling gently at her. “I can’t believe it.”

“What?” Elisa asked.

“My baby girl. My firstborn. Getting married.”

Elisa laughed. “Technically. Not legally.” She looked up at him, wincing. “Does that bother you?”

Peter shrugged. “Laws change. In ten years time, who knows? Maybe you’ll renew your vows with a real license in hand.”

“One can dream,” Elisa said wistfully. She looked up into her father’s eyes. “I’m glad you and Mom are being so cool about all of this. I can’t imagine what you thought when Goliath first spoke to you about it.”

“Well, to be honest, we’d have supported it regardless. Nothing Goliath could have said would have actually mattered,” Peter replied.

Elisa frowned. “Why not?”

“Because I trust my children,” Peter said. “If he had asked you and you said yes, there must have been a damn good reason for it. Even if I don’t fully understand it, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad decision. You’ve always been a good kid, Elisa. You were the one out of all your siblings I never had to worry about. You always had a good head on your shoulders. Hell, you never even had a rebellious phase, and you could have been a real monster if you wanted to be.”

Elisa flinched at the use of the word monster.

“Sorry,” Peter said. “Not what I meant. I should have said disaster.”

She playfully nudged him, laughing a little.

“You’re smart, Elisa,” Peter continued. “Smarter than your old man ever was. If you say this is what’s right for you, how am I supposed to argue?” He pulled her into a hug. “I’m here for you, kid, no matter what.”

She squeezed him tight. “I don’t deserve you guys.”

“Yes, you do,” Peter said. “You deserve the world. What kind of dad would I be if I didn’t give my little girl the world?”

A knock came at the door and Brooklyn peeked his head in. Peter and Elisa parted.

“Everyone’s ready,” He said. Elisa nodded with a shaky smile of thanks, and he withdrew.

“This is it,” Peter said. “Ready?”

“Yes.” Elisa closed her eyes and sucked in a breath, holding it for a five count. She exhaled slowly, opened her eyes, and said, “Lets go.”

He extended his elbow and she hooked her arm through it. Straightening her spine, she let her father lead her out of the room.

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Fanfiction #Fanfic #Gargoyles #Disney's Gargoyles #Goliath #Elisa Maza #Brooklyn #Broadway #Katana #Angela #Lexington #Peter Maza #Beth Maza #Talon #Derek Maza #David Xanatos #Owen Burnet #exophilia

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kj-nixon · 5 years

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happy v day

On any other day, it would be nearly impossible to wake KJ up before 10am. You would have to fire a gun next to her. It was actually a major concern of her family’s, but she had always been more of a night owl than an early bird.

But today was Valentine’s Day. And this year she was going to do something fantastic for Hunter.

Last night, she had stolen his Apple Watch after he had fallen asleep and set the alarm to vibrate on her wrist at 7. She hated the thing because she felt the radiation from it would lead to arthritis. Bailey had tried to explain that that wasn’t how arthritis worked, but KJ was still skeptical. Regardless, it was the only way she could think of setting an alarm without also waking up Hunter.

God damn, 7am. Any later and Hunter would probably wake up on his own and ruin the surprise. Why did he have to be such an adult?

KJ grinned at that. That’s why she loved him.

As gracefully as she could manage, which wasn’t all that graceful if you knew KJ, she slipped out of their queen sized bed and tip toed to the kitchen. Their apartment was more of an open loft. A giant, brick square with only the bedroom and tiny bath distorting the shape by jutting out to the side. Looking at the floor plan, she had never quite been able to figure out how it interlinked with the other apartments, but really, did it matter? It suited them perfectly. The kitchen was as much a part of the living room as it was the dining room.

Open concept, open vibes.

They had it decorated as some combination of industrial modern and cozy, and the kitchen was pretty much the same. The tricky part was that KJ so rarely actually opened their cabinets that it took her a few attempts to find the pans she needed. Eventually, though, she got the bacon onto the gas stove and started on making breakfast in bed.

Hunter was, hands down, the best thing to happen to her. She knew she said it a lot, but it was just facts. Without him, she would probably be chasing yet another degree that she wouldn’t complete. He rescued her. Of course, he’d never admit it, but KJ and her siblings knew that she was kind of worthless without him.

And she was worthless, no doubt about it. Worthless against conventional standards. She couldn’t keep a job, her temper kept her from really being too great a people person, and without help her living space would be a dump. But she thrived in a space where you could let her be expressive, and Hunter provided her that. He encouraged her to be as creative and goofy and obnoxious as she wanted. And, somehow, they had figured out how to monetize it online. The cookie crumbled perfectly in that way.

She wanted to get lost in all the different ways she loved him, but it was almost impossible to actually start a list. Because as soon as she thought of one detail, it was almost immediately replaced and forgotten with another. He was just.... her world. She was obsessed with him. And she was pretty sure he was equally obsessed with her.

She assumed. She hoped.

KJ wasn’t actually a secure person. Some would even dare to call her insecure. And she felt justified in her anxiousness. Comparing herself to others was one of her most developed skills, and she never could measure up. So, if by some chance a girl who was just as pretty as she was, but twice as responsible came along, was there really any doubting that Hunter would take an interest? He was actually the perfect, functioning adult. One day he’d realize he was tired of babysitting a grown child. She just hoped it was on his death bed. Because KJ quite actually couldn’t live without him.

They’d be together forever if she had any say. And if you know any Faline, they have a lot to say.

And so what if they weren’t legally linked? KJ loved being with him no matter what. Did she sometimes dream about having the big wedding? Sure. Did she ever wonder if he even thought about asking her to get married? Yeah. Was she kind of concerned that he hadn’t asked yet because he didn’t want to permanently link himself to her in such a way that it would be difficult to leave her when he was ready? Who the fuck asked you?!

KJ’s brain snapped back to the kitchen when she smelled the smoke. While zoning out, she had splashed bacon grease onto the range and started a fire. Fucking ADHD.

What were you supposed to use on a grease fire again? All she could remember was not water, but she needed to put it out before the alarms went off and woke Hunter up.

Um.

Ummmm.

Flour!

Kj had no idea where they kept flour, or if they even had it, but the pancake mix sitting on the counter was the next best thing. Without giving herself a moment to second guess it, she dumped the box of powder onto the stove.

Well... on the stove, in the pan, and on the floor, technically.

She stared at it, willing it to not be all over the place. But, alas, there it was.

Kayla Jane, you’re an idiot.

But at least the apartment wasn’t up in flames.

Sighing, she dropped the empty box on the counter and skated to the corner deigned the living room in her socks. Her sleep tank and shorts were covered in mix now, but when was she ever put together? KJ picked up her phone and quickly ordered Postmates from their favorite diner, like the proper millennial she was. Should’ve done it in the first place, but she wanted to be romantic.

The second phase of the morning was cute enough anyway. It didn’t take her long to get her computer hooked up to their TV and get started on touching up the final bits of editing for her next video. KJ had become pretty savvy with anything techy since her career on YouTube took off. Not that she understood a single thing about engineering or how any of the machines actually functioned, but she could put it all together and operate it pretty easily if you gave her twenty minutes and a 5 Hour Energy to figure it out.

The doorbell rang and she ran to grab their food, knowing full well that he’d definitely get up for that. If he hadn’t smelled the smoke already.

Sure enough, Hunter stepped out of their room just as she finished unpacking their breakfast. KJ would never get over how insanely tall and good looking he was. Like, it wasn’t even fair.

But she sure did appreciate having the injustice in her bed.

He smiled at her and chuckled, probably laughing at how messy she was.

“Don’t go to the kitchen,” she warned, pointing a finger at him threateningly.

“It kind of smells like I should,” he replied.

“You absolutely should not. You should come kiss me and get your present instead.”

“That does sound much more pleasant.”

He graciously leaned down so she could stand on her toes and give him a peck on the mouth. She guided him to sit in front of the television and placed his food in front of him. “Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, sunshine.”

Patience wasn’t really a Faline trait either, so she only gave him enough time to take two bites of food before she climbed into his lap and face the TV. “Okay, I made something.”

“You did? For me?”

“For you.”

“I’m touched.”

“You will be.”

“So will you.” He winked.

She licked his cheek. Then she pressed the enter key on her keyboard.

The video went live on her channel. A shaky close up of Hunter’s forehead came on screen. You could hear KJ’s laughter over the speakers as the camera zoomed out and you were able to see the picnic set up from one of their earliest dates. Minute by minute, the video played through a compilation of vlogs from the last four years of their relationship. Some were of their travel adventures, others were at home where Hunter was obviously unaware that she wasn’t filming. Two consisted of KJ being home alone, lamenting her state of abandonment while Hunter was on a business trip. Every clip, every piece, was carefully chosen to show how perfect they were.

KJ had been on social media for the last three years, but she had never made her relationship public to her audience. Anything regarding Hunter was posted to her private accounts that only friends and family could see. Even her family was often used as clickbait. But Hunter had been reserved as a secret, or marketed as just a friend. And she had never quite been able to explain why.

Part of it had been that she was afraid of karma. If she put them out their publicly, then maybe they’d break up and she’d have to announce to the world that she was alone and her person had left her. Or maybe it was because she was selfish and didn’t want him to get any attention outside of her (and Simon.)

But, around Christmas, she had decided that she wanted the entire planet to know how mad she was for her. She wanted her audience, people she loved and was inspired by, to see how lucky she was.

And she would cut any bitch who tried to bat a single eyelash at him.

The video was only about five minutes long, nowhere near the length of her usual challenges and vlog segments, but there was four years of love pieced throughout it. And she prayed to the universe that he got the bigger picture.

That she loved him more than anything on the entire planet.

It ended and she stretched her head back to see his expression, a proud smile on her face. For a moment, he just continued staring at the screen.

She knew it would take a moment to buffer in his brain. They had discussed forever ago that they’d never go public and he was okay with that. Hunter had never cared one way or the other, but KJ had insisted.

Now...

He looked down at her and she saw his blue eyes glisten. It made her smile wider. He was such an emotional tall man.

Climbing around to wrap her arms and legs around him, she sat up to look him directly in the face. “You’re my person. I’ve staked my claim across the globe now. So if any skanks try to make a move on you while you’re wherever your stupid job sends you, you now have live proof to show them that I will hunt them down and burn their eyebrows off.”

“Oh, it’ll have them and their eyebrows shaking in their kitten heels.” He grinned.

She kissed him. Hard.

“I love you, Green Giant.”

“I love you too, Thumbilina.”

KJ tucked her head into the crook of his neck and gave a happy sigh.

“So... What did you burn?”

“Oh my god, SHUT UP!”

#mood

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theghostwritersstory-blog · 6 years

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“I WAS CHEATED ON!”

SOCIAL MEDIA-TION

Recently, while getting into a heated debate, on a popular social app, a guy decided to throw the fact that I had been “cheated on” in my face. This is a classic case of someone not having enough facts, or words to back up their debate/argument, so instead they throw insults-- what THEY consider to be insults, anyway. This is something I’m used to, being that my debating skills are pretty A1, the only thing that can stop them are usually things that have nothing to do with said topic.

Now, the back-story behind this, is that I happened to ask him about the girl my ex cheated on me with, when it first happened. Because social media makes this world very small (mutuals, subtweets, hints), I had every reason to assume he knew something about the incident. And for those of you wondering why I would ask another person, and why I would go “that far”, or be “that dumb”, just be aware if you were in my situation, and somone was going as far to hide the details from you as my ex did to me, you would understand. The last thing I thought I’d ever be doing at my age was digging for answers from a third-party source, about a man I thought I knew, but life comes at you fast.

Social media has not only made dating harder, but its made the world a lot more transparent, to an extent. And what most people don't realize about me, is that as “private” as I can be, there is really no shame in my game as far as spilling the beans on my lessons learned. In fact, it really motivates me, and lifts a weight off my shoulders.

ONCE IT’S PUBLIC, I’M SHARING

I keep a lot to myself, unless something happens in a public light, to me, or has been discussed publicly (in a way that it didn't happen). I’ve had plenty of falling outs with people that I have never discussed or posted. So what makes a situation post-able for me? If the situation causes me a great deal of trauma, or was done in a way to try and create damage in my world (publicly)... it will be turned into a discussion topic, before it can be fully let go. This is my process, and I don’t expect for everyone to “get it”.

So, the fact that this situation was made public, thanks to social media (where the girl my ex cheated with, posted him on her story for NYE) I can write about it. And as for the guy I was arguing with, that called himself “exposing” my ex? All he did was give me the green light to start my next post.

THE ‘IF I FEEL THIS WAY, YOU MUST TOO’ PHENOMENON

I’ve also learned that if something embarrases others, they assume it must be the same for you, so they project:

“Why is she telling us this?”

“Why do we need to know?”

“Why share your business?”

But their reality is not mine. It took me a long time to realize that what works for some, just doesnt work for me, and vice versa. And that usually the people projecting that onto me were going through their own internal battles and struggles, but they didn't yet feel free enough to release or share that.

Over time, I've just learned to be less judgmental as to how people decide to relieve their traumas, because I’ve realized not everyone will understand how I choose to heal, nor do I see why they care. “They” can’t see the way my life does a complete 180 when I decide to do this one simple thing, release my truth. I’ve even started to see life as a game, every time I do something outside of my comfort zone, I’m rewarded in an external way (job, money, faith). It may sound weird to some, but it’s not for them to understand.

NO SHAME, NO GAIN

I encourage women to say they’ve been cheated on, with pride, in a male chauvinistic world, that creates this double standard, insinuating women are to blame for a man’s infedelities.

And personally, I refuse to feel low because someone I was with chose to cheat, with a girl that... let’s just say was pretty “known”, and not in the best way. Social media is small, and it’s made even smaller if you’re promiscuous, male or female. (This is not me throwing shade, but this is the truth.)

Let’s just say I immediately went and got tested, just to make sure everything was ok, with ME. The only thing that I’m thankful for is going to the doctors, and being told that I was completely healthy. And no, I never got back with this person, but seeing how low he would go, and the lack of standards, made me question what was going on during the whole relationship. And I think it’s very scary how people can have you trusting them, while they simultaneously are out here putting you in danger, for their own selfish gains. But I will say, being aware of how much trusting a person can actually put you in harm’s way is very eye opening.

WHEN MEN BRAG TO “FRIENDS”

The night of NYE, my ex went on to brag to one of his “friends” about how this girl was his, “p*ssy for the night”, a disturbing phrase that I will never quite forget. My ex had convinced me that he was spending the holidays with his dying grandfather, meanwhile there he was getting spotted on social media, in other snap stories, etc.

This is where I say social media is made so small, because of course these same “friends” of his ended up getting the info back to me. My ex tried so hard to fit in and “flex” for a group of guys that always treated him like the underdog. He also went so far to attempt to hide this from me, even deleted mutuals that we had, he change his story settings, deleted posts, etc.

This person went so far to “hide” these things from me, not realizing that social media is forever, and that word travels fast. There is no “bro code” when social media is involved. Nor when you have friends that actually wish they had a woman like you had. Also, something I notice of men who openly try and disrespect women, for the attention of other men, usually get the least respect in their friend groups. These men are usually overcompensating to feel that void. He went around bragging to the same friends that told me about him being a cheater, like I wouldn't find out, how ironic.

SEEKING VALIDATION

I think it’s because certain men, especially ones with low self esteem, are constantly looking for that next badge of approval or acceptance, that they handle things the way they do. I had even seen it with the way he constantly posted pics of me on social media. He got so much validation from it, that he wouldn't even take them down once we were over. And I'm not a cocky person at all, but I definately made him look good, in every possible way.

So many people would always try to discredit him for his “looks”, and they would wonder why I was with him, but I always defended him and called these people shallow. At one point, the same friends of his that most-likely encouraged his cheating behavior, were the same ones constantly asking if I had friends for them.

Once the relationship was over and I made it clear I wasn't getting back together with him, this is when he started gas-lighting me for figuring out the truth. This was when he realized that to feel some power in the ending of the relationship, he had to turn it around on me. All of a sudden, I was “crazy” for figuring out all that this person did behind my back. I had to beg for him to take my pics down. He would say I was crazy for hitting him up to take, MY pictures down. I no longer wanted to be associated after the public incident.

GET TESTED

I told him to take down the pictures of him and I, and to post the girl he had cheated with. But this was not something he even felt comfortable even doing. But, he was comfortable when he was bragging to friends about his, “p*ssy for the night”.

He might have wanted to mention the permanent STD his new fling had, or the “bros” of his that she had slept with prior to him. But men won't mention that part will they? ‘Cause the truth doesn't sound as good as the fairytale they make up for the approval. They won't mention the TYPE of girl thy cheat with.

He didn't share the fact that the night after he cheated, when he realized this girl was only jealous of hs girlfriend, and didn't really want him... he was blowing my phone up, covering up lies, bribing me with money, backtracking all his prior statements, like I didnt know. He even tried to lie, saying he hadn't seen this girl since college.

Slowly but surely, the reality of everything I thought I knew about this person came crashing down. I had never dealt with such a pathological liar, nor had I ever seen anything like it in life. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. How do you lie about something that has been seen by so many others via socials? But it was also a relief to finally known the truth, in some odd way.

The oddest thing is, during the relationship I had great times, and shared great memories with this person. But the way a situation ends, says a lot more than what the entire two year relationship could. It took a long time to get over, because part of me was always searching for a glimpse of that loving, sweet, and always caring person that I thought I once knew. It was waking up from that illusion which caused my brief suffering.

DEVIL’S ADVOCATE: WHY SHARE THIS?

Now no one has asked me this question, but I constantly do this thing, where I play devil’s advocate with myself. It helps me get better at debating, overall, as well as having a “comeback” to questions I might be asked. Don't ask why, I just like to stay prepared . Maybe I’ve been conditioned, because I know what to expect from people -- opposition.

The reason I feel it’s so important to share the fact that my ex cheated, is because for far too long its always seemed like this is looked at as a stigma, or burden for the woman to bear. Often times, when a man is unfaithful in a relationship these are the narratives you hear:

NARRATIVES:

”She got played.”

So often in these situations, it truly comes down to the man playing himself. Nine times out of ten, at least in the situations I’ve been in, when a man cheated on me, not only did they end up begging to come back, but they ended up in situations where they actually looked stupid. Situations where they seemed to instantly realize the grass wasn’t greener. And found themselves SOL, when they thought they’d be welcomed back. And this may be my ego speaking, but I don't believe that a majority of women ever get “played”. Even if a man doesn’t attempt to come back, this isn't a measure of your worth. It could mean they have too much pride to admit they have ruined a good thing, and some men aren't mature enough to even face that reality, I'm learning.

I feel like most women uprage after situations like this (mentally, emotionally, and physcially) and end up seeing their true worth. I even used to joke and say I wanted my heart broken so that I can GLOW-UP. I’ve also noticed that in the long-run, the men that do you wrong never seem to fully get over it. Even an ex I pined over in the past, back in college, called me months ago wanting to “talk”, and I was so unfazed by his call. I ignored it. Women may hurt more at first, but men never seem to get over that hurt in the long run, I’ve realized. So who is really “getting played”? I see too many women claim and own this, when in reality it is so far from true.

“Playing” a good woman, who loved you despite your flaws, despite what you did or didn't have, and despite your short-comings, is hard to find. You may not realize it in the them moment, but a good woman doesn’t get played, she just adjusts, and gets better for the right man herself.

“She couldn't keep a man.”

We hear this all the time. It implies that to “keep” a man, you must do a,b,and c, and if you can't keep him, or his interest, you’ve failed miserably, correct? Not exactly. You see, there are women that will do everything they practically can for a man, and they still get cheated on. There is no surefire way to keep a cheater from being what he was, probably before he even met you-- a cheater!

There are even some women that turn a blind eye to cheating, as they feel like it is a prize to keep a man, no matter the cost. And I don't judge that anymore, I think everyone has their own standards, and I've learned not to judge what is acceptable in other relationships or not. Relationships are so hard to judge, because you realize that no matter how much you tell a third-party, no one can truly understand you and the bond you and that person share. I try to keep this in mind before I judge what the next person puts up with.

However, I decided a while ago that if lowering my standards when it comes to unfaithfulness, just to keep a relationship, was just not going to be my portion, no matter how deep I thought our love once was. I put up with that back in college, but I’m grown now. I don't have the same mind I once had, then.

Most men can’t keep YOU. I think most men do realize the qualities of the woman that they have, they just don’t assume that woman will ever leave them. They start to think maybe that kind of woman will come a dime a dozen, and when they see that’s not the case, they rush back. But you can’t keep me, with cheating ways. It took me a long time to realize that very literally and figuratively, men could not obtain the standards they started off with, and couldn't keep ME. A lot more women have to realize this.

I feel like when you decide to sabatoge a whole relationship for one night, that shows me where I am on the list of prioroties, and that’s unforgivable. I just try to stay aware of what I will not tolerate. And I can name a few people that would still love me in their life if I decided to turn a blind eye to their bullshit, but that’s not something my heart allows me to do. And I’m aware of the conflicts that arise form me choosing not to believe that “all men cheat”, but does that mean I stop fighting for what’s right, for me? I just don't think that’s the case.

-”She’s crazy.”

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and she joked to me,”Men will drive you to crazy, drop you off at the destination, and then CALL you crazy,” and I felt that. I’ve realized, since it’s almost expected for women to be “crazy”, this is a good word to use whenever a woman is actually being logical about something that the man doesn't want to deal with. Rarely do women wake up one day and decide to be “crazy”, out the blue. Most times, the man will just leave out all the ways in which he triggered a woman to get to that “crazy” point.

In conclusion, women go through a lot at times. Including being made a villain in situations that a lot of us are actually victims to. And no this isn’t insinuating that all men are bad, and women are good. It just seems like on a large scale, men forget that women often get tired of them too. Women lose interest and feel like cheating, and sometimes we’d like to see how other guys differ from the man we are with, but most times I see us women staying loyal. And it’s just assumed that “men will be men”, and have their fun.

To any woman that relates to my story, just know you aren't alone.

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