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sooibian · 4 years

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Tempting Fate (I)

@is-that-baekhyuns-shirt thank you, thank you, thank you for this beautiful poster!

Chapters: One | Two

Pairing: Minseok x You x Kyungsoo

Description: You’re forced to make a choice between a present that you didn’t choose and the idea of what could have been.

Themes: Angst, Exes!AU, Arranged Marriage!AU

Warnings: Strong language, indicative of emotional infidelity

Word Count: 3.7k +

A/N: Writing in quarantine hasn’t been easy so this is me trying to get back into writing by channeling all the rainy day melancholia into an angst piece. A huge thank you to @fightoh who inspired this Kyungsoo. I love you, Melissa! ^_^

We’re looking at a two-shot here, so lemme know if you’d like to be tagged for the update :)

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‘Settle down’

You often mulled over your father’s words of advice. This was one of the very few he’d cared to vocalize a little over a year ago. Settle down - as if you were an inanimate object devoid of any thoughts or feelings. As if you were lifeless. There was an undeniable ounce of truth in that, though.

He had left you lifeless, cold, and pathetic.

So you settled.

Gradually sank under the weight of the very same thoughts and feelings you were not supposed to have. Especially not after, as your step-mother had so eloquently put it, you’d spread your legs for the spawn of Satan.

These questionable archaic edifices threw you back by decades, centuries even. You’d started to loathe them all - your parents, the society and to a large extent, your own self. Either way, you did what you were asked.

Like dust, you settled.

The buzz of your phone alerted you of a meeting that was scheduled thirteen minutes from now. Twirling the cup of long gone cold coffee, you took some time to compose yourself. Ten minutes. Taking a huge gulp of the bitter liquid, you proceeded to head out of the cafe.

“Hello”, said the man who accidentally bumped into you on your way out.

The sound of his voice could sweep you over with a wave of recognition even in your most unresponsive state. Dreading, you looked up to meet his eyes. The same big, brown eyes you’d once have endless conversations with. The very same eyes that saw you for who you were. The eyes that had already started to say the things you weren’t emotionally equipped to hear.

“Hi”, he exhaled. You were enchanted by the way his lips moved. Flushed and soft, with a subtle pout. Plush and voracious they’d once felt on your skin.

He looked exactly like you’d remembered him. Soft brown hair fell in shaggy bangs across his forehead. A black shirt over ripped denims that outlined his lean frame and his right wrist wrapped in dark beaded bracelets. Your gaze dropped and stayed fixed on his combat boots, as you fought back tears.

Your phone chimed. Seven minutes.

Kyungsoo’s lingering gaze saw you out of the cafe.

“How was your day?” your husband asked, in the trademark gentle tone he’d use with you.

Dinner table conversations with Minseok were cumbersome. They felt heavily rehearsed and unnatural. You usually had polite responses and courteous questions to subdue the pressing silence that filled up any space Minseok and you inhabited. But tonight was you felt pushed to the wall. You felt hollow and rigid.

A dazed stupor had steered you through the day after the man who’d splintered your heart had chosen to resurface after two years. The very same man because of whom you weren’t the wife Kim Minseok truly deserved.

This wasn’t exactly the dinner table conversation you'd ever pictured having with your ever so sweet and kind husband.

“Nothing out of the ordinary”, you smiled, “did you manage to get Yang Ho Sung on board for the expansion?”

“Not to jump the gun but we might be able to lock in his signatures come Monday”, a pleased Minseok flashed his toothy grin.

“Not to jump the gun but congratulations!”

He chuckled, “If all goes well, I might have to fly out to Hong Kong. You know, raise capital...move funds...”

‘Raise capital, move funds’ was a part of your job description as Financial Controller, not the Head of Strategy's. Hong Kong was where the Company’s Head Office was situated. It was also where both of your parents had taken permanent residency. It was a place both you and Minseok frequented and for most part it meant bothersome soirees (generously sprinkled with intrusive questions) with his side of the family as well as yours. And anyone with a pair of functional eyes could spot trouble in paradise. So you were glad as you were grateful that you didn’t have to do much to dodge this trip.

It was almost as if Minseok read your thoughts, “You’re working on the Nakamuras’ merger project and it didn’t feel right pushing this expansion onto your already full plate.”

Pursing your lips into a slight smile, you nodded in agreement.

The day of Minseok’s flight to Hong Kong found you seated across from Kyungsoo at the very same godforsaken cafe.

“How have you been?”, he asked plainly.

Devoid of expression, your eyes bore into his as you clutched the teacup closer to your person, the rock on your finger conveniently on display.

“You mean after you suddenly disappeared? All things considered, peachy.”

His jaw tightened, “Don’t be like that.” What should’ve been a plea, came across as an audacious command.

“Why are you back, anyway?” You hated sounding like a jilted past lover straight out of a soap opera but you felt exactly like one.

“Because you deserve the truth”, brows furrowed and voice down to a whisper, he leaned in closer.

“I deserve much more than just the truth!” You were seething with anger.

“Let’s start with the truth first.”

“Okay”, you squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head, “this attitude is quite brazen, don’t you think?”

His hands landed on the coffee table in a soft thump, and spoke as if he were spelling out every word for you, “You’re clearly not ready for this conversation so call me when you are, yeah?”

“Go fuck yourself, Doh Kyungsoo”, grabbing your purse you dashed out of the cafe as angry tears streamed down your cheeks.

Locking away every vicious little memory of Kyungsoo in the farthest corner of your mind, you went about your mundane, monochromatic life until unsubtle baby pink and powder blue onesies peeked out of Minseok’s luggage as you helped him unpack.

“Just Mother being over enthusiastic, that’s all…I’m sorry...”, his face flushed as he yanked the Harrods bag out of your hand and hastily dumped it in his closet.

If only she knew that your hostile home environment wasn’t conducive to...reproduction.

“I know my face looked a little puffy during our last video call but that doesn’t mean I’m...”, you said quietly.

“I know, I know...I’m sorry, she shouldn’t have.. I had half a mind to...to discard them or... give these away to Ho Sung considering, you know, his wife’s expecting but I couldn’t...aish...I think I’ll go take a shower.”

Averting your gaze, he rummaged for fresh towels in his closet.

“Minseok”, you gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed feeling guilty for having put him in a spot.

“Hmm”, his voice sounded shaky.

“Minseok”, your grip on the sheets tightened as you chewed the insides of your cheeks, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Scratching the back of his neck, he turned around to look at you. The upward curl of his lips didn’t meet his eyes. He knelt before you and took your icy hand in the cozy warmth of his.

His hands were always so, so soft and warm, yet so firm and steady.

Bringing the ring on your finger to his gentle lips he whispered, “I know.”

His incessant phone calls and messages coupled with your unbridled desire to understand the reasoning behind that one decision that steered your life onto a downward slope was why you agreed to see Kyungsoo again.

“Is ‘How have you been?’ still out of bounds or...”

Kyungsoo chose wisely with this quaint little overpriced Italian restaurant. There was no way either of you’d end up creating a scene here.

“It is not and I've been well. You?”, you ask civilly, twirling spaghetti on your fork.

“I left because - ”, he started.

“Diving right into it, I see.”

Leaning back into his chair, he let out an exasperated sigh, “Would you please?"

“Okay. Go on...explain what good reason you had to turn my world upside down, Kyungsoo.”

“Thank you. Remember my art gallery?”, Kyungsoo asked.

How could you ever forget! It's what your step-mother used to attack with you every chance she got. Wayfaring, college dropout Kyungsoo's mildly successful upscale art gallery in Gangnam.

You nodded curtly in response.

“Dad handled everything...right from the actual sourcing process of art pieces to the finances. Although it was my business, I was simply a curator. You of all people should know how our parents like to meddle.”

“Kyungsoo, what's your point?”

“He apparently used the art pieces to launder money. And before NTS could get a whiff of it we had to go underground - I had to go underground. So he declared business bankruptcy, salvaged whatever little he could after NTS got their fair share of it, obviously and we went off the grid. Only recently we were made aware that all of our other Companies have been cleared off defaults - Dad pulled some strings to make that happen - but all of this is behind us now.”, Kyungsoo’s eyes enlarged as he chewed on his lower lip anticipating your response.

“Well, you could’ve called.”, you sipped Riesling to steady yourself.

“We could’ve been tracked, love!”

Feeling yourself disintegrate at the way that term of endearment rolled off his tongue, you pressed a napkin to your lips.

“What is it that you want now, Kyungsoo? I’m married - it’s all over!”, your voice quivered as you tried to reason with him as softly as you could.

“It’s not! It’s not over! Kim Minseok isn’t the man you chose -- this isn’t the life you chose! You didn’t escape my mind once in these last two years, baby...my hands were tied! Please understand, there was nothing I could've done. But I’m here now and I’m not leaving.”

The picture frame in your secret possession remembered Minseok as a portly little lad in a penguin onesie.

Him in his mother’s arms and you, an infant, in yours. Your mothers had been childhood friends, thick as thieves but the only memory you had of Minseok was this picture frame from the scenic Guri, where you spent the first five years of your life - until your mother passed and your father spiralled into despair. Minseok’s mother took pity and urged her husband to offer your father a position in the Seoul branch of his company.

The job paid well since Mr. Kim’s company was flourishing. Your father immersed himself into work leaving you with sitters for most part of your childhood. He successfully managed to add a chip-making division to the already thriving semiconductor line making SK Group the largest memory chip-maker in Asia thus elevating him to a Keyperson’s position. In his forties, he found himself a botoxed, gold digging beauty to marry and lived his life forever indebted to Mr. Kim.

So when the conglomerate’s matriarch proposed an alliance between you and Minseok, your father couldn’t refuse.

The alliance came a year after Kyungsoo disappeared.

Doh Kyungsoo. Your first love. The only one who’d stood by you when your own father couldn’t care less. You’d met him in your sophomore year at the University where he studied Archeology and Art History and you, Business Administration.

You had little to no memory of the night Kyungsoo played your knight in shining armour on Baekhyun’s bar hopping 21st birthday. You were drunk out of your wits. And when a sicko tried to take advantage of it, Kyungsoo stepped in. He drove you home, tucked you in bed and even brought you Haejangguk the next morning.

You’d managed to tame the beast according to Baekhyun but the truth was it was Kyungsoo who saved you from your dreary life. He brought out your exuberance and ferocity.

You ditched the pastels in your wardrobe for radical florals, the straight black hair, now an untamed, red tempest and modest little diamonds in your ears replaced by the dazzle of the glittering galaxy.

Your grades declined meteorically as you painted the town red with him on his Motorrad and come senior year he recklessly dropped out of college. That’s when things started going south for the both of you.

After a failed acting stint, he dabbled aimlessly in Seoul’s art scene. You didn’t greatly approve of his life choices, especially these major shifts which were solely his decision since he hadn’t bothered to consult you once. You, on the other hand, picked up pace academically and after graduation, Mr. Kim’s conglomerate took you under its wing - just as planned.

You tried to be there for Kyungsoo during this "phase" of his which lasted well over two years but he kept pushing you away. Until finally, with the help of his father, he set up his own art gallery in Seoul. It didn’t create a lot of buzz at first but it brought a welcome change within Kyungsoo. He was focused, driven and tried to make the best of the opportunity.

Both of your careers kept you busy and you slowly began to drift apart. Petty fights and misunderstandings only deepened the cracks in your relationship and Kyungsoo, being a man of few words that he was, didn’t help the situation.

You both did and said things you shouldn’t have and all that should have been said was left unspoken. Often you even decided to part ways but every other night found you in each other’s arms. Come morning, the very same issues would resurface.

But you both tried. Tried to make it work through the tears and the pain for the thing called love. You’d both been inseparable for four years now and this was nothing but a minor roadblock.

And when things finally started to look up, he left without a goodbye.

Minseok looked nothing like the toddler you’d remembered him to be except for his striking angular eyes. He was lean, suave, well mannered, albeit slightly awkward (you didn’t blame him considering the blind date setting) and definitely deserved a better wife than you. He shyly complimented your neutral beige flare dress and you both shared the rosy bits about your life.

His father had decided against giving him a directorial position on a platter so he’d worked his way up from Assistant Manager, Sales to freshly anointed Head of Strategy and you were working towards a better position in Finance.

Minseok was, plainly put, nice. Very much unlike the broody, flighty, reckless Kyungsoo you’d known and loved all these years. But Kyungsoo was a distant memory and Minseok looked like someone who was married to his work.

All things considered, you believed you could make this arrangement - that was your marriage with Minseok - last.

The expansion kept Minseok busier than usual while you were busy plotting away with Kyungsoo - looking for ways to get back with your first love and break the news to Minseok in the gentlest way possible.

“Ripping the bandaid off is the only way forward”, Kyungsoo suggested, helping you with a generous serving of kimchi stew.

His studio apartment was a stone throw away from your workplace. So you took an extended lunch break to see him in the privacy of his house. You felt a tinge of guilt at the frequency of your rendezvous but you let your heart have it’s way. As much as you hated the predicament his reappearance had put you in, his presence made you feel alive again. You no longer dreaded the morning alarm, the commute to work or even work itself. You had something to look forward to everyday - you had him to look forward to everyday.

“Hello?”, he interrupted your train of thought.

“Hmm?”, you looked up from your bowl.

He chuckled, “Nothing’s changed...” making you eye him questioningly.

“You still space out a lot”, he said, scrunching his nose affectionately.

Guilt weighed heavier.

You smiled, “No, it’s just that - there’s so much at stake Kyungsoo. I don’t think I can just rip off the bandaid.”

“Higher the risk...”, his eyes widened in an attempt to convince you.

“I know...but...he’s a nice guy and --”, you fought back tears.

“Run away with me?”

“Kyungsoo!”

“I’m sorry”, he muttered.

“Did you find a new place for the art gallery?”

“Mhmm”, he avoided your eyes, “just off Samcheong-ro.”

“Kyungsoo, this is huge! Samcheong-ro is the heart of the art scene!”

He smiled, “And this time around I’m working with people I can trust.”

Putting your hand on his arm, you squeezed it lightly. Nodding you said, “I’m really, really happy for you.”

He sighed, “Listen I’m sorry about earlier...I didn’t intend to rush you, I’ll be patient...I love you.”

You couldn’t say it back.

“Minseok, the Nakamuras accepted our offer”, you started with some happy news.

His feline eyes widened in astonishment and his shoulders went up as he pursed his lips to contain a big smile, “Really?”

You nodded.

“This means a hell lot of more work for you”, he chuckled, “but it’s a huge reason to celebrate! Let me take you out to dinner tomorrow?”

In your one year of marriage, Minseok had made this offer only a handful of times.

“Sure”, you smiled, “I was thinking of a weekend trip to Jeju. You know, clear my head?”

“Ah! Of course, anything you need. Will you be travelling alone?”

“Yeah”, you lied through your teeth.

Looking mildly dejected, he forced a grin, “You deserve the break.”

You woke up well before the break of dawn, not nearly as enthusiastic about the seaside getaway as you’d been when you’d planned it with Kyungsoo. Nevertheless, you went on to physically and mentally ready yourself for your flight at noon.

Minseok, an early riser by habit, was still in bed at half past eight.

“Minseok?”

You leaned over his asleep form but nothing. So you put an arm on his shoulder and tried to lightly shake him awake only to receive a muffled groan in response. A hand on his sweaty forehead confirmed your suspicions.

Without giving it a second thought, you texted Kyungsoo, called off the trip and to avoid the inconvenient onslaught of questions, turned your phone off. Feeling an overwhelming sense of concern, laced with guilt and anxiety, you shook Minseok awake.

“You’re burning up!”, panic struck, you nearly yelled at your groggy husband.

“I don’t feel so well… Please call Soo-ah, she’ll take care of me. What’s the time? Have you called yourself a cab?”, Minseok spoke in laborious gasps.

“There’s no need to call Soo-ah”, you said, straightening the duvet, “I’m not going anywhere.”

To your utter surprise, Minseok did not, in any way, nudge you to carry on with your plans. Instead, he thanked you with a slight nod and a small smile. His gentle, cherubic smile made your heart skip a beat, it cooped you up in an inexplicable warmth.

To you, an uwell Minseok was uncharted territory and during the course of the day you realised he wasn't very different from a tantrum throwing infant.

You started your day with committed the cardinal sin of denying him his morning cup of coffee.

“I’ll drink twice as much water to rehydrate!” He whined.

“Ugh! Don’t make this harder than it already is! I'm grasping at straws here!" You shouted from the kitchen while whipping up rice porridge for breakfast.

His protests against the mushy bowl for his first meal were comparatively milder, which was a welcome relief but your caffeine deprived husband sporadically kept shooting you snarky sideway glances. All hell broke loose when you had to nearly shove the acetaminophen pill in his mouth.

“Yah! Are you trying to kill me? This is fatal!”, he’d started talking in pouts now.

“Yah! Kim Minseok!”, annoyed, you glared at him.

A round-eyed Minseok stared at you in disbelief before quietly dry swallowing the pill.

The medicine was quick to act, stabilizing his temperature. So you asked your stickler for cleanliness husband to go take a quick shower but the man wouldn’t budge.

“I want to stay in bed all day”, he smiled adorably.

“You’re not exactly smelling like fresh lilies right now, Minseok. Who’s to take care of you if I faint?”, you teased.

His face flushed as he begrudgingly stepped out of the comfort of his duvet. Grinning with glee, you proceeded to cook him chicken soup for lunch.

Lunch was awfully quiet.

“Did you not like the soup?”, you asked in mock concern. You were sure your comment from earlier was the reason for his mopey face since the fragrance of his cologne overpowered the aroma of your chicken soup.

“No, the soup’s just fine”, he deadpanned, making you chortle.

“You should fall ill more often, this is fun!”, you giggled.

A pink blush rose to his cheeks as he swirled the spoon in his bowl, “I agree.”

***

While Minseok napped, you prepped for dinner. The www suggested a light bean sprouts soup with a side of rice and kimchi.

“Shall we eat in front of the TV today?”, you asked Minseok.

“Sure! Anything you wanna watch?”, slumping into the sofa, he flipped over to the primetime news.

You groaned.

“What? You love this anchor!”

“And how do you know that?”, you asked, slurping your soup.

“I follow you on Twitter, remember?”

“Hmm but I lack the cerebral capacity for this tonight”, you snatched the remote out of his hand and played The Running Man instead.

Yoo Jae-suk and Lee Kwang Soo’s antics left you in splits. Dinner ended with you sniffing water up your nose and an alarmed Minseok furiously thumping your back as you continued to giggle foolishly.

“I don’t remember the last time I laughed this hard”, you cried.

Minseok smiled awkwardly taking in your behaviour he wasn’t accustomed to, “Let me help you clean up...then I should probably head to bed.”

“Wait”, you floundered out of the couch, “just one more thing!”

“I swear I took the last dose when you weren’t looking!”

“I know that because I was looking!”, your voice carried from the kitchen.

“Here…. I’ve been too harsh with you today”, you offered him a slab of tiramisu making him almost jump out of his seat in delight.

“What’s this?”

“Your question is low-key offensive, Minseok!”

“No, I know, I mean...thank you. For everything.”, his lips curled in a sincere smile making your heart flutter.

***

For someone who holds his liquor well, flu medication made Minseok really drowsy, real quick.

As you tucked him in bed, you switched your phone on with your numb fingers. It beeped furiously with a flurry of angry messages from Kyungsoo, making Minseok stir in his sleep.

“I’m sorry”, you whispered.

“I love you”, he mumbled in his sleep-befuddled state.

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chiaki-translation · 4 years

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The Amazing Museum: Event Translation Ch1-5

I have nothing to say, but the fun part is in the second half of the story, wait for it~

The Amazing Museum Ch1-5 / / Ch6-10 / / Epilogue

Disclaimer:

A3! is owned by Liber’s Entertainment

Translator’s Note: I translated the request to ‘public reading’, but I think if it’s literally translated, it should be along the line of ‘public play reading’? I guess, just take note that there’s an acting component involved in the request~

Tsuzuru:

I’m home.

Kazunari:

Ah, Tsuzuroon. Welcome back!

Tsuzuru:

Hmm? Those things on the table, are those museum flyers?

Kazunari:

Yep yep. There seems to be a lot of interesting stuffs when I went to see an exhibition at an art gallery last time, so I took them home with me.

There are a lot of choices, ranging from a major painter’s exhibition to a more edgy theme.

Tsuzuru:

Hee. They’re still doing this despite the end of summer holiday.

Oh, this one looks interesting.

Kazunari:

Which one which one? Ah, that one! “Encounter with the Unknown”!

I was quite curious about that one too~

Tsuzuru:

This one’s not an art gallery though, it seems to be a project from a museum.

Kazunari:

Yep yep!

Tsuzuru:

But, why a flyer about a museum?

Kazunari:

Well… The art gallery that I went to has other museums nearby, it’s not uncommon to have museum flyers there—

I never heard of this one before, so I just took it.

This museum is located a bit far from the city center, maybe that’s why it’s not that famous.

Tsuzuru:

I see.

Kazunari:

But I wonder why the flyer’s there.

Maybe it is planned by the same person as the exhibition in that art gallery…?

*phone rings*

Tsuzuroon, isn’t that yours?

Tsuzuru:

Ah, my bad… Eh, big brother?

Hello?

Tadoru:

Tsuzuru, it’s been a while! Are you doing well?

Tsuzuru:

I’m fine, but… What happened for you to suddenly call me like this.

Tadoru:

Actually, I need to ask for another favor from MANKAI company to help out with an exhibition.

Tsuzuru:

…Don’t tell me, I feel like you’re going to make me do something stupid again.

Tadoru:

Well, it’s roughly like that, but if it’s Tsuzuru it should be fine, it should be fine~

Tsuzuru:

It’s not fine at all…

Tadoru:

Director-san should be contacting you soon, I’ll leave it to you~

*phone ends*

Tsuzuru:

Ah, wait! Director means…

Sigh… You even leave the explanation to another person.

Kazunari:

What happened~?

Tsuzuru:

The phone call was from my big brother, actually--

Director:

I’m home.

Kazunari:

Director-chan! Welcome back!

Tsuzuru:

Welcome home.

Director:

Ah, that flyer…!

Tsuzuru:

Are you talking about this “Encounter with the Unknown”?

Director:

Yep yep!

Actually, we received a request from that exhibition--

Tsuzuru:

Request from the exhibition?

…! Is it…

Director:

…So it’s like that, by Tadoru-san’s request, we will be doing a public reading in the museum!

Kumon:

The museum is a place decorated with dinosaur bones and stuffs right.

We’ll be doing a public reading at that kind of place?

Director:

Yep.

Our stage this time will be the museum at the edge of town.

Sakyo:

But I don’t think that it’s a normal museum after looking at the content of the exhibition. There seems to be a lot of suspicious exhibits there.

Director:

You’re right. There seems to be a lot of weird exhibits that one rich guy collected as a hobby.

Citron:

Looks like a mystical place!

Tsuzuru:

Isn’t it supposed to be mysterious.

Director:

But it’s not well known yet and Tadoru-san proposed for a performance to be held during the exhibition to attract customers.

He wanted us to help with the session for three days only, and he requested for the public reading as a guide for the exhibition for only one day.

Tsuzuru:

So this is the stuff that big brother was talking about in the phone just now.

Public reading in a museum is a situation we never encounter before, there’s also the fact that it’s my brother’s request, but I want to participate.

Kazunari:

Yes here! I want to participate too!

I’m even more curious about this “Encounter with the Unknown” now!

Director:

The two of you, are you fine even with your schoolwork?

Tsuzuru:

Yes. I was able to get more free time in my third year.

Kazunari:

Yep yep. I only have light assignments right now, so no problem!

Director:

I see. Then, I’ll leave it to the two of you…

Is there anyone else who can participate?

Banri:

Even though it’s just three days, it might be tough if it’s in the weekdays.

Also, I have a lot of assignments now, it’ll be tough for me.

Azami:

I don’t think I can make it too.

Kumon:

If it’s only the day of the public reading, I might be able to make it.

Director:

The student group just started school again, I guess it will be difficult huh.

Tsumugi:

Then, I guess it’s the adult group’s turn.

I’m fine with my schedule, I can make it.

Sakyo:

I don’t have anything too, I can join.

Director:

Really!

Then, I’ll leave it to the two of you.

If it’s possible I need to get help from 2 more people, but…

Itaru:

How about Senpai.

Chikage:

Why me?

Itaru:

I’m in the middle of a carnage fight with my work now.

Also, I remember that Citron told me about a promise with people from the shopping district on that day.

Citron:

A promise with the Madam is absolute!

Sakuya’s having his part time job too.

Itaru:

Masumi also just started school…

That means it’s Senpai’s turn to shine.

Chikage:

Hah… I understand.

Director:

Then, Chikage-san, pleased to work with you.

I’ll need one more person, I wonder who else can join…

Homare:

I’m home.

Oh, what’s everyone’s gathering here for.

Director:

Homare-san, welcome back.

Actually…

Homare:

Oh, finally, the time to hold a public reading session of my poem has come--

Director:

You’re wrong!

Homare:

Oh? So it’s not that?

Director:

A museum at the edge of town will be holding an exhibition and there’s a request for us to do a public reading there.

By the way, it’s this museum.

Homare:

This is…

…Hmm, I think there’s no problem in terms of my schedule.

I’m also interested in the public reading myself.

I will promptly participate if you would let me.

Director:

Of course!

With that, we’ve gathered all the members.

Kumon:

Somehow it has become a gathering of the smart people…!

Azami:

That impression makes you sounds stupid.

Director:

Then, I’m looking forward to work with everyone!

Tsuzuru:

…Alright, I’ll start thinking of the script.

Tsuzuru:

Hmm…

…

Sigh…

Homare:

Oyaoya.

I was thinking of having an afternoon tea, but there seems to be a guest here already.

Tsuzuru:

Ah, Arisugawa-san…

Homare:

Are you alright?

You look like you’re having a lot of troubles.

Tsuzuru:

Sorry, I’m going to clean up, you can use this place after.

Homare:

If you would like, why not join me and drink some tea together, Tsuzuru-kun?

Tsuzuru:

Eh?

Homare:

I received a good snack from the editorial department recently.

I have received it before, it’s a delicious one.

I’m sure Tsuzuru-kun will like it too.

Tsuzuru:

…Perhaps, are you planning to invite me from the start?

Homare:

It’s just a whim.

…I wanted to say that, but you’re right.

Everytime I passed through the balcony, I happened to saw Tsuzuru-kun looking at the PC with such a difficult face.

I wanted to make it look like a coincidence so that you won’t mind it, but I guess my intention is too clear to be veiled.

Tsuzuru:

Haha… Somehow, sorry for that.

Then, I’ll gladly take your offer.

Homare:

Are you having trouble with the script for the upcoming public reading.

Tsuzuru:

Yes… It’s not that I’m in a slump right now, but I can’t express it well when it’s bounded with such pressure.

I don’t think the script itself is bad, but I can’t get satisfied with the individuality and it leaves a bad impression on myself.

Homare:

Hmm. If it’s alright with you, maybe you can show me what you have right now?

Tsuzuru:

Ah, sure. Here it is.

Homare:

Let’s see…

Tsuzuru:

If you see something weird, I want you to point it out honestly.

Homare:

…

Tsuzuru:

…

Homare:

…Hmm. I think the story’s interesting.

But, it’s written with a different style from the usual one.

Tsuzuru:

Yes. It’s going to be a public reading, so if the situation is not portrayed properly through the content of the script, the audiences wouldn’t be able to understand anything.

As I thought, is it too descriptive?

Homare:

…

What if your knowledge become a hindrance in your ideas and freedom of expression?

Tsuzuru:

Eh…?

Homare:

You’re a serious person after all, I’m sure you prepare a lot of materials for the sake of this script.

That’s an advantage in itself, but won’t you become stubborn because of it.

Tsuzuru:

Stubborn huh…

…Thank you so much.

I’ll try to think of it once again with Arisugawa-san’s advice in mind.

Homare:

I’m looking forward to Tsuzuru-kun’s script.

Director:

…That’s all for practice today.

Good work!

Kazunari:

Good work!

Tsumugi:

It’s only when you’re practicing for public reading that you’ll practice more expression through voice and gestures.

I don’t have much experience in it, but it was fun.

Chikage:

Glad to have you as the participating member for this performance, Tsumugi.

Tsumugi:

Eh?

Sakyo:

Tsukioka’s pretty good at subtle performance.

It will become a good weapon for a public reading.

Director:

Yes. Tsumugi-san’s advices are easy to understand and pretty accurate, it’s really a great help to have you here.

Tsumugi:

Thank you so much.

I’m glad I can be of help.

Sakyo:

…Minagi didn’t show up today either.

Director:

You’re right…

I wonder if Tsuzuru-kun is alright.

Kazunari:

I’m quite worried…

Maybe he’s really having difficulties with the script.

Chikage:

Maybe it’s because it’s different from the usual.

I think even Tsuzuru’s having a hard time dealing with it.

Homare:

…

Tsumugi:

Homare-san, Homare-san.

Homare:

Hmm, Tsumugi-kun? What is it.

Tsumugi:

Do you happen to know anything about Tsuzuru-kun?

Homare:

…! How do you know.

Tsumugi:

Homare-san was pretty silent today.

I thought you might have known something.

Homare:

Geez… I’m no match for you.

…Everyone, sorry.

The fact that Tsuzuru-kun is lost with his script right now might have something to do with me.

Sakyo:

What do you mean?

Homare:

Actually, the previous day, Tsuzuru-kun was letting me read the script he was working on and I was giving him some advice, but—

On the contrary, I think I might have caused him to think about it even more.

I just wanted to help Tsuzuru-kun to not be stuck with his common sense…

Tsumugi:

So that happened.

Director:

(Tsuzuru-kun… I wonder if he took Homare-san’s advice to the face value too much)

Kazunari:

Perhaps, the thing that Aririn wanted to convey was just hard to explain using words?

Sakyo:

That’s true, it might be the case.

Tsumugi:

If it’s hard to convey through words, why not we try to convey it through actions?

Homare:

Through action…

Chikage:

Speaking of action, maybe we should bring him out somewhere?

Kazunari:

I see~ Like a change of pace maybe?

Homare:

…!

Can you leave this matter to me.

Tsumugi:

Fufu, Homare-san, it seems that something has inspired you.

Sakyo:

…I’ll leave it to you.

Chikage:

Just say the word if you need any help.

Kazunari:

Yep yep! We’re comrades after all ♪

Director:

(I’m glad. With this atmosphere, everything should be fine.

For the time being, I’ll try to take care of it too)

Tsuzuru:

…Hah.

Director:

Tsuzuru-kun.

Tsuzuru:

Director…

Director:

The script has not been going well huh.

Tsuzuru:

Sorry to have kept you waiting.

It seems that I’ll still need a while to write it…

Director:

What is Tsuzuru-kun worrying about right now?

Tsuzuru:

…It might sound trivial, but will you listen to me?

Director:

Sure.

Tsuzuru:

The public reading this time is pretty different from the usual performance, I think the acting voice and the content of the script will be very important.

For that reason, I’ve tried to research on documentaries and novels, but I can’t get satisfied somehow…

More than anything else, it’s totally different from the usual script that is made for actors who act on stage… To be honest, I’m really having a hard time here.

Director:

I see…

Tsuzuru:

I wanted some advice from a third party, so I listened to Arisugawa-san who gave me his impressions.

He’s a part of a literature company, so I thought I might be able to get a helpful opinion from him.

At that time, I was told that “my knowledge becomes a hindrance in my ideas and freedom of expression” and I’m quite stuck with it.

If I’m able to take in Arisugawa-san’s advice well, I think I should be able to dissolve this hazy feeling, but—

The more I think about it, my hand just stop and I can’t type anymore...

Director:

(Tsuzuru-kun… He looks like he’s really struggling.

Homare-san seems to have planned something but…

I really hope that it can solve Tsuzuru-kun’s trouble well)

Tsuzuru:

Fyuh… I’m not Citron-san, but maybe I should try to take a break for once.

Director:

Yeah, you’re right.

I think it’s good to have a day to relax.

Tsuzuru:

Yeah. Ah… Let’s try to go to the museum.

???:

Tsuzuru-kun! Director-kun!

Director:

Ho, Homare-san!?

Tsuzuru:

I, I was so surprised…

Homare:

You guys, please prepare yourself immediately.

Tsuzuru:

Eh? Prepare…?

Director:

What do you mean by prepare--

Homare:

If you want to write a script, you need to collect some data.

We’re going to the museum right now!

Director:

Eh!?

#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#tsuzuru minagi #kazunari miyoshi #sakyo furuichi #tsumugi tsukioka #homare arisugawa #a3! translation #a3! event #chikage utsuki

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vgckwb · 3 years

Text

P5R: Rebel Girl (A FeMC Story/P5R Rework) Chapter 47: See Through

After school the next day, Ren was walking out when she overheard some commotion. “So, what’s she really like?” one student said. This caught Ren’s attention.

“Yeah,” another continued. “Does she have any weaknesses? Or anything like that?” Ren turned to face them. Two students had crowded Sumire.

“Ummmm” Sumire was a bit nervous.

“C’mon. You've known her practically your whole life” the first student said.

“Yeah. If we could just get some pointers for dealing with her, that'd be great,” the second student added.

Ren was about to interrupt, when Sumire blurted out “You want to ‘deal’ with her?” The two other students nodded nervously. “Then just work hard. She appreciates that.”

“What?” The first student said, in shock and hesitation about what was coming.

“You heard me,” Sumire said.

“There’s-there’s gotta be something else, right?” the second student asked.

Sumire shook her head. “Just work hard. Is that really too much effort?”

“Well…” the first student said.

Now Ren was more scared about what Sumire was gonna do to the other two. So she gently walked up and said “Hey Sumire.”

The two other students looked back at Ren, spooked by the sudden interruption. “Oh, hi senpai!” Sumire said, changing into a very cheery voice on a dime.

“Senpai?” The second student said.

“As in ours too?” the first one said.

They looked at Sumire, and then at Ren. They turned to Ren, bowed, and said “We’re sorry!” before dashing off before anything could be done.

“That...was odd,” Ren said.

“Yeah,” Sumire agreed.

“So, what were they talking about that got you so worked up?” Ren asked.

“Oh. They were asking about Coach Hiraguchi” Sumire said.

“I see,” Ren said. “I’ve gotta be honest, I’m a bit impressed.”

“Thank you,” Sumire said with a smile.

Ren continued. “But also a little disappointed.” Sumire was confused. “It’s great to see you standing firm, but you don’t seem to do that when you’re the topic of discussion.” Sumire averted her eyes. Ren lifted her head up to meet her eyes. “Sumire, you’re amazing. You gotta show that more.”

Sumire’s heart was now beating a mile a minute. She needed to do something to distract from that before it overwhelmed her. “Well... The same could be said about you” she retorted Ren was confused. “You have no trouble helping someone in need, but from what I’ve seen, you have a harder time allowing people to help you.” Sumire’s face was still red, but Ren thought this was about the intensity of her statement.

Ren wasn’t quite sure what was happening, but felt like she needed to say something. “You’re doing it again. You’re kicking up a storm about me, and not you.”

“So are you!” Sumire pointed out.

The two girls looked away from each other, embarrassed about what was happening. “This’ll just keep going forever if we let it,” Ren lamented.

“Yeah…” Sumire agreed.

They stood there for another moment. “Well, seeya, I guess…” Ren said.

Ren tried to leave, but Sumire grabbed her arm. “Wait!” she said. Ren turned back to her. “Um, if it’s OK with you, there is something I’d like your help with.”

Ren turned some more to face her, as Sumire let go. “Sure.”

“Thanks,” Sumire said. She blushed ever so slightly. “Well then, let’s go.” Sumire said, walking off. Ren was stunned, and decided to follow her. Ren wasn’t sure where they were going. She was a bit distracted by Sumire’s energy. When she finally thought about it, it was too late to say anything.

They arrived at a glasses store in Kichijoji. “You wanted to buy glasses?” Ren asked.

“Well, they aren’t for me…” Sumire said. She looked down at her feet. “I know you just got done dressing me down for putting other people before me, but this is something I actually want to do.”

Ren looked at her. “Sumire… I don’t want you to stop thinking of other people. You thinking about others, and the kindness you show is something I admire deeply about you. It’s just… I want you to think of what you want too.” Sumire looked at her intently. “Please don’t throw it back at me, I don’t want to get into that loop again.”

Sumire chuckled. She sighed. “Anyway, let’s head in.”

Ren nodded and the two girls walked in. “So, what are we here for?” Ren asked.

“Well, my dad needs a new pair of glasses,” Sumire explained. “And I felt like surprising him. Plus, um, that reporter we met apparently caused some trouble for him.”

“How so?” Ren asked.

“Well, I’m not sure really,” Sumire answered, “but apparently his boss wasn’t all too happy about it.”

“I see…” Ren said. She assumed a thinking position with her hand grabbing her chin.

“What’s on your mind?” Sumire said.

“I’m not sure,” Ren said. “Why would a reporter asking questions about Madarame concern your dad’s boss? The two things seem unrelated.”

“Hm, that is a bit odd,” Sumire said, assuming a similar thinking position. “But I’m not really sure. It might be one of those things where we’ll cross the bridge when we get there.”

Ren was slightly surprised, but fell into agreement. “Right. Whatever the case, if...he’s?” Sumire nodded, “dirty dealing, then we’ll come across it. If he’s just interested in running a tight ship, well then I guess the onus is on him.” Sumire nodded again. “So, those glasses?”

“Ah, right,” Sumire said. “Let’s look through their stock and see what they have.” Ren nodded and they started to peruse the gallery.

“So, do you have any idea what kind of glasses your dad would like?” Ren asked.

“Well...he’s very practical,” Sumire said. “But he’s also kind. So, I’m thinking something that’s simple, but shows who he is.”

“Who he is, huh…” Ren said.

Sumire picked up on Ren’s anxiety. “What’s wrong?”

Ren was stunned, but not entirely surprised by the question. She took off her glasses. “Before coming here, before getting into high school even, I switched over from contacts to glasses. I did this because…”

Sumire was a bit concerned. “Because…?”

“I dunno,” Ren said. “I thought they would help somehow.”

Help how?” Sumire wondered.

Ren sighed. “I wasn’t the most...well liked kid where I grew up” Ren explained. “I thought this would help my image somehow. That somehow people would be nicer to me if I had glasses. In middle school, I got into a bunch of fights, and that messed with my contacts a fair bit. So maybe I thought people would be less willing to break my glasses… But while I got into less physical confrontations in high school, everyone started fighting with their words and indirect actions, rather than a punch to the face.”

Ren looked at her glasses. “In a way, these glasses were supposed to hide who I was. But in the end, they just showed that I was someone who didn’t belong there. I mean, I guess they’ve been working since I’ve been in Tokyo, but that could all change in an instant. I feel like I’m just waiting for the moment things all go to Hell in a handbasket.”

Ren felt a presence grab her. She looked down to see it was Sumire giving her a hug. She felt...a lot of things. She felt happy, sad, embarrassed, confused, pathetic, but most importantly, she felt cherished; something she had only recently started getting accustomed to. “Senpai…”

Ren wasn’t sure what to say, so she said “Sorry” and put her glasses back on. Sumire let go. “I didn’t mean to bog you down with all that.”

“No!” Sumire insisted. “Er, what I mean is, thanks for telling me that.” Ren was more confused. “It...probably wasn’t easy to say all of that. But thank you for telling me how you feel, and opening up to me on that.” She took off her glasses. “I guess in the spirit of that, I should do the same.

Both Kasumi and I...we both needed vision correction. While Kasumi went for contacts all the time, I decided that I’d only wear contacts when performing, and glasses all other times. I told my parents I wanted to be different from Kasumi, and while that was true, a part of me was telling me that these glasses were to make me look cuter than Kasumi.” Ren was shocked.

“I know that sounds mean, and it kind of is,” Sumire continued, “but… I was always jealous of Kasumi’s natural cuteness. Well, as well as other things. I sort of felt like this would give me an edge. It didn’t, but by the time I realized that, things solidified. Kasumi was the one without glasses, and I was the one with. And now, I feel constantly torn. If I keep wearing my glasses, they serve to remind me of this awful part of me, but if I don’t I feel like I’d be copying Kasumi again.”

Ren was taken aback by all of this. Still, despite that, she knew exactly what to do. She gave Sumire a hug like Sumire did to her just moments before. “Sumire… Thank you.” Sumire started letting out tears. Ren backed up to put her hands one Sumire’s shoulders. “Whatever your feeling, feel it. I can’t say I understand entirely your relationship with your sister, or everything that comes with that, but I think you’d look cute either way, so whatever you decide, I’ll stand by it.” Wait, did I just call her cute?

Ren-senpai just called me cute! “I...I think I will keep my glasses.” She smiled. “Kasumi was also interested in finding the differences between us, so I think even though this might have started from a tinge of jealousy, between that and you calling me cute,” Ren’s face turned slightly red, “I think I’ll keep them.” Ren smiled. “Well, now that that’s all settled, let’s start looking for glasses for my father.”

They started looking. “What do you think of these?” Ren asked.

“Hmm, well they look really cool, but…” Sumire said. “...these are for my dad, so…”

“Gotcha,” Ren said.

Sumire picked up a pair. “What about these?”

Ren looked. “I’m not sure what kind of person your dad is, but those SCREAM ‘I’m from 20 years ago.”

“Yeah…” Sumire agreed. “I mean, I know my dad can be a bit stuck in his ways, but these are a bit too much.”

Ren saw something that interested her. She put them on. “Sumire, what do you think of these?”

Sumire looked. Ren was wearing a pair of gag glasses with swirly eyes, a big nose, and a mustache. She began laughing uncontrollably. “Why...why are these even here?” She asked between fits of laughter.

Ren started to laugh as well. “Probably for this reason.” She snickered some more. “C’mon, you try them on now.”

“Me?” Sumire said.

“Yeah, it’d be great!” Ren insisted.

“...Fine” Sumire relented. She put them on. “Well?” Ren tried holding it for a few seconds, but ended up in absolute stitches. Sumire was a tad annoyed at first, but then saw the humor of the situation and started giggling along. She took them off. “I guess these are pretty funny.”

After that, they decided to keep looking. However, nothing they found worked. “I’m starting to think we won’t find anything here that suits my dad” Sumire moped.

“Well, I mean, we did try,” Ren said. “Plus, I think we had a good time here anyways.”

Sumire smiled and blushed. “Yeah… Well, maybe we should get going.” As she started to head out, she noticed something. “Wait!” Ren stopped as well. She walked over and picked up a pair of red glasses. “Hmm. This is it! These are the glasses for my dad!”

Ren smiled. “Cool.”

Sumire was filled with confidence. She took them to the check-out. “I’d like to buy these please.” The cashier was a bit confused for a second. “They’re for my dad” she explained.

“Ah, I see,” the cashier said. She checked Sumire out and said “Have a good day you two.”

Once Sumire and Ren walked out, Ren said “Mission successful.”

“Yeah,” Sumire agreed. “And ever better, I did this myself. I made the decision, and I think it’ll pay off. Ah, what I mean is, I’ve been doing that thing you said where I wasn’t thinking about what I wanted. And a little while ago, if someone said ‘we should get him this pair’ I would have gone along with it. But now I made the final decision myself. And I’m proud of that.”

Ren looked at her, smiled, blushed, rubbed Sumire’s head, and said “Well done. You've come so far.”

“Right!” Sumire said. “And I’m not stopping now!”

Faith-Sumire Yoshizawa: Rank 4

Sumire turned to Ren. “Anyway, wanna get something to eat before we head off?” Ren nodded, and the two of them found someplace to eat. After that, Sumire headed home, while Ren did some part time labor.

The next day, Sumire was wandering through the halls of the school when she bumped into Coach Hiraguchi. “Ah, Sumire. Perfect timing.” Sumire looked at her. “There’s something I wanted to discuss with you. Can you meet with me after school?”

“Uh, sure,” Sumire said.

“Great, see you then,” Hiraguchi said. She walked off.

“I wonder what that’s about?” Sumire asked. She shrugged it off for now and continued on her way. Once school was over, Sumire headed straight for Hiraguchi’s office. “You wanted to see me?” she asked, walking in.

“Ah, yes,” Hiraguchi said. “Please, have a seat.” Sumire did. “Now, Sumire, I did say I wanted you in big competitions,” Sumire nodded, “but there is one coming up soon. If you’re not feeling up to it, I can get you out of this one, but only this one. I wanted to run this by you before doing anything.”

Sumire was shocked. Her coach had been nothing but supportive throughout this entire ordeal. Heck, she was even going through it with her to some extent. Sumire had always felt weak and insecure about herself and her performance, but she recently started to feel better about herself. Sumire smiled. “Thank you coach, but as much as I appreciate the offer, I want to participate.”

Hiarguchi smiled. “Very well. You know, I’m glad to see you coming in full force again. It almost feels like old times.” Sumire was surprised. “Anyways, thank you for coming to see me.”

Sumire had gotten up, bowed, and said “Thank you.” She left.

Hiraguchi watched her leave. “I know Kasumi would have loved to see this as well.”

#persona 5 #persona fanfiction #persona 5 royal #p5r #p5 femc #p5r rework #p5 rework #p5 #FeMC #female ren #ren amamiya #Sumire #coach hiraguchi

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tremble-and-shake · 5 years

Text

Ficlet for “Church girl” anon

Like I said previously, this is just a short lead-up, nothing fancy. It’s NSFW but not really smut. That dear anon asked me enough times (and kindly) that eventually dialogue for this started to come together in my head and I found it really hot. Still, I acknowledge that this is super cheesy and unbelievable. Not knocking Christians or Catholics of anything (I grew up going under Catholic pretenses, but it just wasn’t for me and I got the fuck out). The storyline is just a classic, cliché turn on.

I’m calling it The Tempest of Lustful Shades after the vortex in the Second Circle of Hell in Dante’s Inferno. That’s where people go for lustful sins, and that’s where I feel like I’m going to end up writing this shit lmao Anyway, maybe some of you will be there with me for enjoying it. I hope so. Thanks @starchild0985 for taking a peek and offering feedback <333

The Tempest of Lustful Shades

You were finishing up your undergraduate degree in Art History at St. Mary’s in London. The uni had a partnership with Tate Modern, the art gallery collective that Jimmy had recently loaned tapestries to for their Edward Burne-Jones exhibition. And now, somehow, you were sitting in Jimmy’s parlor, sipping tea and chatting with him about your undergraduate thesis on the intersection between medievalism and Victorian ideals of womanhood in the Pre-Raphaelite movement.

“Above all else, Pre-Raphaelitism espoused naturalism, even when this risked showing ugliness. But that’s the true irony of it, isn’t it?” You nodded along, beaming at his words. “Look at what beauty they were able to create by embracing the fidelity of human appearance.”

It wasn’t too often you came across men who could carry on such a cerebral conversation on this topic while maintaining this level of passion. It was even rarer to come across ones this attractive.

“Let me refill your tea, love,” he said, placing his own cup down and taking the ceramic handle of the teapot. Admiring the hand-painted Moroccan lattice, you wondered how lavish it must to have a home where everything within it, down to the teapot and silverware, was an authentic piece of history.

“So, what’s a young lady as brilliant, passionate, and beautiful as you are doing still single?”

Shifting your weight from one leg to the other, you stifled a timid laugh.

He sensed your uneasiness, offering a consolation in the soft lines that cradled his lips and eyes. “Too immersed in your studies at the moment, I presume.”

“That’s my priority, yes.” Engulfed in his warmth and this momentary comfort, you surprised yourself by opening to him. “But a lot of guys my age aren’t willing to, you know, wait for a Catholic girl. Not even the ones at uni.”

Something flashed quickly in his eyes like a response to some subconscious trigger, and you realized what you had implied.

“No. I didn’t mean, that’s not-” Your startled movements caused your tea to careen over the lip of the cup, sending you to your feet to escape the hot Darjeeling. “Ow, shit, that’s hot!”

He was on his feet beside you almost instantly, removing the cup and taking your hands inside his. “Are you alright?”

“I’m so sorry. Jimmy, I got tea on the throw.” You tried to pull away and daub the spill, but he wouldn’t let you.

“Darling, don’t worry, it’s quite alright. You’re not burned, are you? How embarrassing to serve guests tea that’s scalding.”

“No, no, I’m fine. It wasn’t that hot, it just startled me.”

“Let me get something to dry your blouse.”

You cursed yourself for being so foolish, but silenced the self-berating in time for him to reenter the room, dinner napkin in hand.

“Here we are.” He began to blot along the hem your blouse, pulling the fabric off your skin. “May I?” You nodded, but it wasn't until you felt his fingers graze against your stomach that you realized what he was asking: to reach under your blouse in order absorb the stain from both sides of the fabric.

“Jimmy, I don’t know why I said that. TMI, I’m sorry.” You're surprised by how soft his fingers feel against you. “But just so you know.. I’m- I’m not.”

“Not what, love?” He broke his focus from the stain. When his eyes found yours, he seemed to genuinely be unsure of what you were saying.

“A.. a virgin.” That look again: the calloused, wanton glazing of his eyes. But fleeting and nearly impossible to recall once it’s gone. “I mean, I’ve only done it once. It was stupid, he was stupid. But I've done my penance and have been forgiven.”

"Hmm, I think that should do it, yes?"

"W- well, yes," you proceeded shakily but found confidence through the verse. "As it says in the Bible, 'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.'"

He took a step back and tugged down at the hem of your blouse. "I was talking about the Darjeeling, love. And you needn't offer an explanation, I'm not judging you in the least. Shall we go on?"

"I'm so embarrassed, I think maybe I better go. I talk too much when I'm nervous and I've already--"

"Don't be silly. My apologies if I've said or done anything to make you feel uncomfortable but it would be a shame for you to leave without seeing the artwork. Come," he motioned for you to follow him, his smile warm and inviting.

He lead you through the hall and into the study. You remained pace or two behind, trying to steady yourself in this whirlwind of lustful thoughts and conflicting emotions.

As you entered the room, you struggled to keep your focus on the awe-inspiring paintings. He saw this and his dark brows became unsettled.

"It's just that I haven't felt this way before. Not even that first time,” your restless fingers searched for composure at the hem of your blouse. “I’ve never wanted someone so badly.”

His chin lifted and his gaze sharpened; he was eyeing you up as if assessing the honesty of your statement. “I see,” he lowered his chin slightly. “You’re here for academic research. I hardly think it’s appropriate. Do you?”

“Well, I guess not,” your gaze falls downward, disappointed.

“And what about your vow of abstinence? How do these thoughts make you feel?”

“Shameful,” you reply delicately. “Dirty.”

He smirked “We haven’t even done anything dirty yet, love. Imagine how you’d feel afterward.” Closing the space between you, he went on. “But it is the forbidden fruit that tastes the sweetest.”

“Let me taste it,” your tone was meek, but your hands spoke more strongly as they traipsed below his belt.

“Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?” His fingers lifted your chin firmly, forcing you to surrender into his eyes. They were the seductive pinnacle on a face so seasoned and sophisticated.

“You may no longer be a virgin in the eyes of God, but as far as I’m concerned you might as well be. I'm going to have to go gently with you."

You swallowed sharply. Nervous, but overruled by the strong ache growing between your thighs. You'd never been so wet that your panties actually became damp like this.

"But I assure you that you're going to feel filthy all the same. Is that really what you want?" His fingertips skimmed your lips, finding a place to come to rest. "Show me.” He tugged gently at your lips and you knew what he wanted, so you welcomed them in and sucked gently.

“Good girl.” His smile brought a dramatic softness to his face. And yet somehow it still commanded a subservience you were eager to give. “You know you’re going to have to go to mass tomorrow to confess this dirty secret. Then you’ll pray on the rosary for hours before you find absolution.” You nodded and moaned for him, still caressing two of his long fingers with your tongue.

“I wonder, how many Our Fathers or Acts of Contrition will you have to say in reparation for sucking the cock of a man old enough to be your father, or grandfather even? Don’t answer with your mouth full, love. It’s poor manners.” He removed his fingers and gently pressed on your shoulders, encouraging you to your knees.

“I suppose you could just tell me next week when you come here again, no use in supposition. But I do know one thing: anytime you kneel again, you’ll be thinking of us. In the church pew, besides your bed for nightly prayers, wherever. And you’ll be wet when you do.”

#Jimmy page smut #Ficlet #Jimmy page fan fic #Led zeppelin fan fic #Silver fox Jimmy #Writing by tremble #Old man Jimmy #Jimmy page

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cunyappliedtheatreblog · 4 years

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Countdown Profile Week 5: Joseph Webb (’20)

Photo: Daniel Nathan

So, Joseph, what are you up to these days?

This past May, I presented excerpts of a project that I've been working on with my partner, Barédu Ahmed, called Messages from Umi at Harlem Stage in New York. We just received some support to further develop the work and we're set to have a share in June of 2020 at Harlem Stage again.

What is the project?

Messages from Umi is a multi-discipline performing arts piece. It incorporates [music] by Barédu Ahmed along with different styles of dance. You have tap dance, you have house dance, you have contemporary dance. I'm the choreographer along with some improvisational movement elements that come forth from the other dancers. Also along with poetry in the art form of emceeing. In this context, Umi is mother hip hop, Umi being the Arabic word meaning mother. The musicians, and the dancers, we are...we receive messages and downloads from mother hip hop that we share with our audience, through movement, sound, text.

That sounds beautiful.

I'm excited about it. I really am. You know, I have a notebook of ideas, you know, that I know that I just write down was something hits me. And a lot of times you don't get a chance to actually work on all of these ideas. So I'm excited about it. But it's also nerve-wracking. I always put, and I'm getting better at this, I put a lot of pressure on myself, because I want to make sure that I get as close as I can to the vision that I first received. So it's a rainbow of emotions, but at the end of the day, it's is a beautiful experience.

“Download” something, “what you received.” You see yourself as a channel for something bigger.

Definitely. As human beings, I think we all have this part of ourselves that is greater than who we see ourselves to be. And I feel like that's where this information is coming from.

I want people to know what you've been up to. You've got a name as a tap dancer. You've been covered in major media outlets, including The New York Times. You've been doing it for a long time. Could you give an overview of what you've done as an artist?

Well, I've done some I've done some theatre. I've been on Broadway before [including Bring in ‘da Noise, Bring in ‘da Funk and Jelly’s Last Jam -MW]. I've done some national tours as well as some international stages, in Germany, in Canada and Spain as well theaters across the country, including the Kennedy Center and some other spots. And I've also done some TV work in the past. Commercials. A lot of people don't know, but I had a role on the soap opera Guiding Light.

Yeah?

I played the role of Steam, you know, on Guiding Light for a little while [sure enough, there’s no record of that on the internet. Joseph has also appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, The Oprah Winfrey Show, and Live with Regis and Kathy Lee. -MW]. I also was a lecturer at Medgar Evers College for eight years. I really enjoy teaching and I also enjoy performing. I feel like that's like part of a balance for me as an educator and a creative. I feel like this because as a teacher I just learn so much.

Why did you come back to complete the MA in Applied Theatre?

I really like the program and what the program stands for, and the people that come through the program. And I always wanted to finish [Joseph and I started the program together in the fall of 2009. -MW].

Would you talk about your thesis project?

I have an awesome team that I'm very grateful to be a part of. Our thesis project as a whole is dealing with museum and gallery spaces: what do museum and gallery spaces represent? What work actually gets allowed to be in museum and gallery spaces?

My particular question that I'm entertaining right now--that could possibly change--is how can applied theatre and the performing arts be used to enhance and improve the experiences of museum visitors who are black, indigenous and people of color?

As a youth, I never saw myself represented in museum or gallery spaces. I always thought of them as white and European institutions. Recently, I'd say maybe about four or five years ago, I had been invited to perform in museum spaces like the National Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C.--my dance company, Dancing Buddhas, was asked to come and perform excerpts of the piece that I've been working on called Monk, which is a celebration of the black American musician Thelonious Monk and some of the artists that he worked with, like Miles Davis and John Coltrane.

And then I was asked to come back and to present some work that was inspired by the American visual artist Stuart Davis, which was very exciting for me. I was grateful that I was able to bring in my love of dance and the performing arts into a visual art space.

So I started to see…and then also with the National Museum of African American History and Culture: when I went to go visit the museum the first time I remember saying, Yeah, this is something that is very inspiring for me—not only because I identify with a lot of the exhibits and what is being brought forth in the museum, but just the different aspects of art that take place in that space. I was able to do a lecture-demonstration [at the museum] of some of the social dances that took place during the ‘50s and the ‘60s. And so it's just interesting that, you know, these places that when I was growing up, I just wasn’t inspired to be in or didn't feel that I was being represented—[now] I've been able to come in and share.

Your research question is really alive. It's personal.

Very much so.

And also, how can how can we use movement as an interpretation and/or a discussion of what the artwork means and what the artwork represents, as opposed to it always being a written assignment? How can how can you use movement and other various performing arts to say, "this is what this piece means to me. This is what this piece is lacking. And this is my interpretation."

This is not just the shift in content, but a shift in paradigm. There's one school of museums in which they're teaching you the truth and you come in and soak it up. [In contrast], you're asking people to respond. And not just respond verbally, but respond physically and through art.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

That will be great. Let's take a look at where you want to go. What dreams are really alive for you as an artist and an educator?

As a creative I would like to explore more ways in which I can break that fourth wall. So more engagement between what I'm doing on stage and the audience. That's one of the things I've been inspired by in the program that I want to bring more of in my practice. I would like to also do that more in the classroom as a dance instructor. I would like to...have the students understand that, yes, there's something that I have to share [as the instructor], and that's one of the reasons why you signed up. But I want them to be more invested in…they might be a “beginner” at a particular level, but there's something that they're invested and engaged [in] also in a different way, that that isn't the “banking” dance method.

No matter no matter what, even if they don't have a ton of skill, there is something happening for them. They’re not just being asked to hold on until they get good.

Yeah. So those are some of the things that I'm thinking about. I'm also a recording artist. I'm an emcee. So I have quite a few projects. I have some projects on iTunes. I want to work across performing creative arts disciplines, you know, with different artists.

Photo: Annika Abel

It's remarkable, all the different disciplines that you weave together. You must weave through different communities, too. Like, the hip hop community, the tap dance community, the teaching community. I also weave a lot. I'm always interested in how people pull it off, because there's expectations and confusions like "oh, but I thought you were the tap guy." How do you navigate?

That's happened to me a lot in the past, and I feel like it still does happen from time to time. I think humans, we work very well when we place labels and we put things in boxes, because it helps us in a way, unconsciously, control what a person can do. One of the ways that I navigate that is to [say], “I'm an artist and I have something that I have to say. And today I'm saying it through this medium.” And that's that.

When you say that, I don't want to be thinking about “which one” you are, I want to go. Let's do it.

Yes, yes. And even till this day [laughs], even till this day I still have people that don't quite understand that I express myself in different forms, which really baffles me.

I liked your compassion but also that you’re not waiting around: “People need these categories to control the world.”

I remember when I was in Noise Funk... I joined the cast of Noise Funk in 1996, but towards the end of '95 I started writing, and when I got to New York, in ‘96 and ‘97, even though I was on Broadway, I started to started to produce my own shows that incorporated poetry—the art form of emceeing—with live music and tap dance. I think a lot of people enjoyed and appreciated what we presented. But I also had agents come through and they just said, "Oh, my goodness. We love this, but we just don't know where to put you, man." Essentially, what box to put you in.

Can you help us box yourself, please?

Yeah. "Can you help us box you please?" I just say, hey, this is what this is.

Is there anything about your growth in all these dimensions we've talked about that you haven't gotten to say yet?

We know what we need to do. That message has been very strong over the last six or seven months. You know, it's different for everyone, depending upon where they are and what they're doing. But we know what we're supposed to be doing. We have to remember that and stay in tune with that. You know, it's so easy to get to get caught up in the illusion of things and to be wrapped up in what someone else is doing or the stimuli that we get from media, social media in particular. And living in this wonderful city that we call New York City, but it also can be a distraction sometimes if you let it. We need to remember that we know what we're supposed to be doing creatively, artistically or otherwise, and we need to remember to stay in tune with that.

Thank you so much.

Yes. Thank you.

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jeongjaebae · 2 years

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ah my new year gathering was canceled ! the host got covid the week before and just canceled it in case! and uhm ( • •;) i have like 256GB HAHA but i'm at 10k now ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ back when i had 6k photos i told myself that it's not going to be worse than this.... then it did.... ANYWAYS I SAW THEY STARTED POSTING ON INSTAGRAM i'm like pls let me catch up first (T＿T)

yeah league is similar to val! when people say playing league is a red flag they usually categorize it with val... but i choose to turn a blind eye on it.. for now bdkdbdkdn oh i play sstbz too! oh my god, have you seen a clip of jacob failing at sunwoo's rap and saying "sunwoo, rap slower please" LOL the whole thriller album 🙅🏻‍♀️ too hard for my chubby little fingers. oh i'm not a skater, (professionally wise) but i'm avid fan of it! i just like to casually do skate. oo figure skating ? figure skating always fascinated me, why did you quit if i may ask?

ooo bermuda line + sangyeon? and gosh you don't need to say thank you! i wanted to see how you were doing even if i didn't have enough energy to talk <3 gosh,,, i love wadada although the second part of the chorus... not my fav but i'm on neutral on the "oh~" part now! hmm, SMILEY!! smiley gives me like a disney 2010s vibe and i miss that era. i also like polaroid love & pirate ! any groups you recently started listening to? hmm usually with two toned hair most people call it skunk LOL. i know my big three! (obviously my sun sign is scorpio) cancer moon and gemini rising ! i don't know much about zodiacs but my chart says i have water the most then earth after and fire then air in last! man, everyone who guesses my chart as well think i give off earthy vibes, so you're not alone! and thank you! but maybe sticker playing on repeat on my feed helps me think it's okay LMAO.

but ah i should've realized from your blog theme i never thought about that BDKXNXKX. hmm mine changes on the day but it's mainly dark purple. even though i don't post on my blog anymore, if you saw it you could as well tell from my theme! gosh i agree! i don't know how long your winter break was but mine was pretty lengthy but still felt so short 😭.

gosh -20? i can never endure the cold, the most it gets cold here is like 60 (fahrenheit) ~15 celsius! it doesn't snow here but in the winter we get wind and light rain ;-; (i don't know if you can tell where i live based on the weather, can you guess? HAHA) but yes stay warm as well ! -🐿

ahh well i hope you had a fun new years anyway!! but yes stay safe and healthy <3 omg 256gb didn't sound like a whole lot until i checked my phone and... i'm sitting at 64gb 🤡 tho my gallery is mostly just tbz and fic insp LMAO. but yeah INSTAGRAM TOO NOW as if it wasn't already hard enough to keep up with their updates in one spot!!

league, val, and... overwatch 🥴 the trifecta of red flags AHAHA. and omg sstbz... sunwoo's raps!! are so difficult!!! would agree that thrill-ing as an album is difficult, obviously with out of control, but thrill ride... isn't exactly one easy either... but omg watching juyeon play compared to the other members is so funny!! ahh i see, yeah skating is fun!! i quit bc of a knee injury years ago but like i wasn't great at it anywayyy :') now it's kinda just fun showing off a little while casually skating with friends or attempting to teach them simple moves haha (or like... analyzing olympic figure skaters like i've been doing these days LMAOO)

juyeon has actually made a comeback on my bias list since my last message about him slipping but i feel like that might be due to his hair... maverick era did him dirty >:(( i'm also writing him rn so there's that LOL. ooh the wadada dance looks like so much fun!! i saw the huening fam cover but ngl still don't like the song very much... agreed that the second half of the chorus is what makes it not so good HAHA. smiley is fun, have you listened to the rest of the album? i'm obsessed with her bside pretty boys 🤩 ooh polaroid love is a nice song to write to!! hmm i really liked yuju's album OH AND the game by pentagon!!

ohhh i don't think i would've guessed air being last for you but the earth vibes part is so interesting considering it's not in your big 3? have you read into your chart? i'm not exactlyyy a believer but there are some things on my chart description that seem strangely accurate HAHA. i have a taurus moon, libra rising, and gemini venus/mars!! oh is your theme still dark purple... would i find u... if i went thru my followers 👀 JK JK but that's a pretty colour!! i like purple too 🤩

just 60 fahrenheit??? lucky omg... i cannot stand walking my dog these days it's so cold 😭 wonder if jacob is also enjoying this canadian weather now that he's back LMAO. but hmm based on that i'd probably guess cali, arizona, nevada, texas for where you live??? haven't been to texas but when i did a winter trip to the other three states it basically felt like the fall weather here :')

but yes stay warm!! take care of yourself!! i hope you're doing well <3

#🐿️ anon #ask

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greeksouvenirsbyaz · 7 years

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replies

thank you all for reading, and for your comemnts -- because they are many, and long

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your post “replies before updating”

Andreas as Apollo…in toga or naked, I won’t mind ;-)

Why not, right? But I seem unable to mess with his hair, though... Maybe I haven’t played him enough still, to change his hairstyle and still recognize him -- he looks too different, already, without glasses ... And Apollo requires a different hair, I’d say... Unless it is a contemporary version... Let’s see :)

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “Propelled by the gallery owner’s assessing look falling lustfully on...”

I bet people won't notice. I care too much about continuity, as well. When I forget to save and the game crashes while shooting, I try to restore everything again, But with clever camera positions, nobody will see it's a completely different lot.

The problem with the first save was that it was thoroughly decorated, to the smallest details... Too heavy, literally, and that’s why it sank... So if you pay attention, behind Andreas and Yannis there are two versions of the ceramics store, one very rich and the other rather poorly decorated...

But from now on, different sets will show -- the hotel, inside The Little Mermaid, the supermarket, the beaches -- and different continuity problems might arise, haha!

Like you said, apart from us creators, who cares or even sees the details that we only notice, right?

danjaley replied to your photo “Maybe I could help?” Andreas heard a man’s voice ask behind him. <...”

He's met with quite a variety of people before even arriving at the hotel! It reminds me of those archetypical journeys in fairy tales and old legends. Maybe he's right, it's all mythological Greece in its modern day disguise.

That is the idea I intended to explore, though not from the very start... But this would involve a lot of thinking and researching, and I’m guessing very few people would perceive that other layer in the story... So I might still be doing it or not.

Your comment made me think of Joseph Campbell talking about the Hero’s Journey, it’s different formats and aspects... Andreas’ is much humbler, though, but still it will bring some, if not a lot, transformation.

It makes me think of Kafka, too, his “The Castle ‘, which is a book that left a deep impression on me. I don’t know at what sources Kafka drank, and I am not intending to say this beginning is Kafka in style, but Andreas never gets to the resort and instead bumps into characters...

The hotel is coming next, I promise!

hyperkaos replied to your photo “This is a joke, right?” Andreas saw the joy he was feeling just a few...”

This made me laugh. I can see the wheels spinning as he imagined him!

Indeed!

And this might be a little auto-biographical, or even confessional, since I myself have often looked at people -- especially in Greece, but also in other countries in Europe with lots of history --, to be reminded of a painting or even the description of a fictional character from tales, and start imagining another existence for them, and several stories running through my mind...

hyperkaos replied to your photo “Hey, old man! Listen to me!” Andreas did raise his voice, despite its...”

Oh you brave little imp look at you!

He is making a scene on a public square! I had thought Andreas were more discreet. And he looks very gay in this scene, doesn’t he? Like ‘you’ve hurt my feelings and I hate you for that...’ I forgot to describe his voice in all this, or I was ashamed to?

hyperkaos replied to your photo “Maybe I could help?” Andreas heard a man’s voice ask behind him. <...”

Hmm...wondering if this is his reward for speaking up?

We’ll see, in a moment...

In fact, I have already published the update that concludes this... So embarrassing for Andreas, really. He should have kept his mouth shut!

hyperkaos replied to your photo “My friend-” The coarseness in the man’s voice had a soothing quality,...”

'harps and spectral sopranos' lol makes me think of a time in my life when I listened to Gregorian chants and Enya ;)

I did not have her in mind when I wrote this, but yes, all my friends back then seemed to listen to it and enjoy, while I... all I wanted was anything else!

hyperkaos replied to your photo “Yannis was not disappointed with Andreas, who openly held his stare. ...”

ohhh yessss

It might be going too fast for Andreas, though... :)

hyperkaos replied to your photo “I’ll see you tonight, then.” Andreas affirmed, planning for an early...”

Andreas you imp! You better get some of that lovely Yannis, you already know how well he touches you. Ha!

Haha, whenever you call Andreas ‘imp’, his guts stir... You are making him feel sexy!

But I still think of ‘impious’ whenever I read ‘imp’, since it was a word I had never heard before your wrote it.

gaiahypothesims replied to your photo “So I wasn’t being taken on a free city tour? Yet…” Andreas decide to...”

I love your images, so much.

Thank you, dear. And I like making them -- best part is to know that they please you!

simblu replied to your photo “My friend-” The coarseness in the man’s voice had a soothing quality,...”

The way this misjudgment is being revealed is so well done

Thank you for saying that, dear, and for noticing it!

I have been slowly building that misunderstanding, post by post, since Andreas first laid eyes on Uncle Alcandros, and at each step of their way together... The tourist was/is totally immersed into his own world vision, and this is the first time he opens his eyes to see things as they are around him...

Rather embarassing, wasn’t it?

simblu replied to your photo “The islander now standing by Andreas’ side must have detected the...”

Smooth move!

From Yannis, right? He knows a few tricks, and must have perfected them on as island full of tourists, male tourists, attractive tourists...

simblu replied to your photo “It’s not your fault, my friend.” The Greek man said patronizingly,...”

Yes, go for this one...

simblu replied to your photo “I own The Little Mermaid, the fish tavern over there.” With his chin,...”

Make the right choice Andreas! Go to the Mermaid!

simblu replied to your photo “What Uncle is trying to say is that, going up the stairs will take...”

Forget Konstantinos.. go for this one!

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “What Uncle is trying to say is that, going up the stairs will take...”

@simblu No :) Take Konstantinos, he's hotter #teamkonstantinos !!!!

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “I own The Little Mermaid, the fish tavern over there.” With his chin,...”

@simblu Again, I must contradict. Search Konstantinos, Andreas!

Thank you for teaming with either Konstantinos or Yannis, this makes it more fun to write about Andreas -- who, until now, seems like a butterfly flying from one flower to the next, until it gets caught by the wind and ends up in a garden it doesn’t know where it is :)

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “Oh!” Andreas exclaimed, softly. If it were true, he had been...”

I'm also not sure what kind of story you will tell. You opened some doors and I'M going to think that this guy and Konstantinos will play larger parts. Looking forward.

Yes, many doors opened, indeed. After all, Andreas is on vacations, arriving on a Greek island, open for friendships (or more than that), willing to have fun...

But as you noticed, so far his most meaningful interaction, though frustrating, was with Konstantinos... While we don’t even know whether the boy lives on Simnos, too...

Though I have shown him in the background in one of the most recent updates, and no one seems to have noticed him ;)

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “So I wasn’t being taken on a free city tour? Yet…” Andreas decide to...”

I agree. I'd say the lightning is very characteristic for your style. And of course those andsome male faces.

I like bright lights, and strong colours, don’t I? Except when I’m telling Lord of Sun Shadows and Sailor, that I intend to be gloomy...

After all, this in the story is sunny Greece -- though I’ve experienced rainy days there, too, of course.

I guess Andreas and Yannis are both handsome, in very different ways...

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “My friend-” The coarseness in the man’s voice had a soothing quality,...”

Is Dev his Ex (sorry if I missed)?

I have not stated that clearly yet, but we’ll get clarification on that at some point.

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “But if he were subtly criticizing Andreas brisk manners, he would not...”

Is Yannis interested in Andreas (maybe gay himself)?

That remains unclear, right? We’ll see... For now, Yannis is very seductive towards Andreas -- but what do we know if he hasn’t done the same to other tourists already, on this very day?

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “I own The Little Mermaid, the fish tavern over there.” With his chin,...”

I had to giggle at the Tavern's name. Most people from western cultures might immediately think of Arielle.

Yes, that was the intention. What an awful name for a fish tavern, isn’t it?!

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “I’ll see you tonight, then.” Andreas affirmed, planning for an early...”

Why didn't I see before that his eyes have the colour of amber. I really like that and more than once give it to one of my sims.

Depending on the light, they look green sometimes -- but yes, I originally made them the colour of amber.

In RL I know someone who has that eyes color, and it is so striking, isn’t it?!

I’ll pay more attention to your Sims’ eyes from now on :)

simblu replied to your photo “I own The Little Mermaid, the fish tavern over there.” With his chin,...”

@tyrellsimsoficeandfire , I think Konstantinos is kinda young? Hence my favoring the older man. ;)

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “I own The Little Mermaid, the fish tavern over there.” With his chin,...”

@simblu didn't think about the age. Thought Konstantinos around 20, Andreas maybe 28. Maybe @andantezen could make it clear?

Andreas is exact 28 yo.

Konstantinos should be only 15, maybe 16, hardly 17, we don’t know that yet...

So, guessing he is underage, does that make Andreas a predator, to be infatuated with a teenager? Hum, I had never thought about it in those terms...

lifeasasim replied to your photo “I own The Little Mermaid, the fish tavern over there.” With his chin,...”

In a day he got 2 dates and I can't get a text back :< xD

There is real life, then there is fiction. In Andreas’ case, it’s coming close to a sexual fantasy more than an actual story :/

I’m sure the right person will more than text you back!

#tyrellsimsoficeandfire #danjaley #hyperkaos #gaiahypothesims #simblu #lifeasasim

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dimensiontripperhibiki · 7 years

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A Heavy Heart (6/?)

Next chapter, I hope you guys enjoy! :) Nozomi couldn’t say she was surprised to find Maki and Eli sleeping together on the couch when she got back with Kanan. She couldn’t help but smirk at the sight and she quickly got her phone out, snapping a picture of the two of them together. “Don’t think I didn’t notice that picture you took of me, Elichi. Now I have more leverage.” She muttered to herself, zooming in a bit and taking another picture. Kanan raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean by more?” She watched Nozomi flicked to another picture in her phone and showed it to her. “Is that a llama?” “It’s an alpaca from our high school.” Nozomi answered with a shake of her head. “What the hell was she doing?”

Nozomi chuckled under her breath. “She was drunk and...it’s a long story.”

“Does it involve Maki?” Kanan asked curiously. “Well the part I videoed does, yes….” Nozomi trailed off as Maki shifted in her sleep, her brow furrowing. “Come on, I’ll show you in my bedroom.” Kanan allowed Nozomi to grab her hand and tug her toward her bedroom. Once inside Nozomi let go of her hand and moved to sit down on the bed. She patted the space next to her, silently indicating that Kanan should sit down. Kanan leaned close to Nozomi as the girl opened a video on her phone. "I love you!!! Your like so smart and pretty and so cat like! You are like that fluffy cat that always changes her mood!

Nozomi could be heard laughing in the background of the video. "Oh my god....she's really drunk.” “She managed to get her hands on vodka.” Nozomi whispered to Kanan, seeing no reason to raise her voice any louder. “Elichi’s not good with vodka...ironically.” Kanan hummed as she watched the rest of the video. “So I guess I have leverage on her now, huh?” “I guess you do.” Nozomi locked her phone and placed it to the side. “Just don’t ever try to spike my drink with whisky.” “Oh?” Kanan said with a small smile. “Is that your weak point?” Nozomi rolled her eyes and lightly elbowed Kanan in the side. “So Kanacchi, do you wanna sleep in my room tonight?” “Kanacchi?” Nozomi blushed and looked away. “S-Sorry, um…” “No, I like it. I’ve never really had a nickname like that before. It’s cute.” Kanan disagreed quickly, placing her hand on Nozomi’s arm. “You’re cute.” Nozomi gave a nervous laugh as she stared down at Kanan’s hand resting atop her arm. “Yeah?” “Yeah. Especially like this.” Kanan grinned as Nozomi refused to meet her eyes. She leaned in, tilting her head slightly and kissed Nozomi’s cheek, earning herself a startled gasp from the girl. “In answer to your question, I’d be happy to sleep in your room. I guess Eli might be too busy with Maki, huh?” “Y-Yeah.” Nozomi stuttered, her hand moving to her cheek. She got up quickly and hurried across the room. “Um...do you want to go and get changed?” “Sure.” Kanan said, a bit amused by Nozomi’s bashfulness. “I’ll be right back.” Nozomi gave a nod in response and waited until she heard her bedroom door open and close before she sighed in relief. Something about Kanan made her nervous. But not in a bad way. She quickly changed into some shorts and a long shirt before she made her way to bed, slipping under the covers with a content sigh. It was getting colder outside already and the warmth of her blankets was a welcome change in temperature. Kanan came in a couple of minutes later, clad in pyjamas and with her hair down. “What?” She asked, noticing Nozomi grinning. She quickly turned off the light. “I get cold easily, okay?” “Get in then. It’s warm under here.” Nozomi said, pulling the blankets back to give Kanan enough room to get into the bed. Kanan shivered at the change in temperature and shuffled closer to Nozomi’s side. “It’s freezing.” Nozomi turned onto her side to face Kanan and reached out, rubbing the girl’s arm. “Is that better?” Kanan hummed in approval, her eyes flitting shut in response to the touch. “Do you think those two will figure out their feelings anytime soon?” “Hopefully.” Nozomi said quietly. “Maki is surprisingly dense. For someone so smart.” “Muse really isn’t what I expected.” Kanan mumbled, opening her eyes a little to catch a small smile tug at Nozomi’s lips. “Good. I mean you thought Maki was a bitch at first.” “I apologized for that!” Kanan exclaimed hurriedly. She pouted when Nozomi merely laughed at her. “I was just taken off guard by her. You’d feel the same way if you met my friends.” “Why?” “Well...they’re pretty crazy too.” Kanan answered with a slight shrug. “One of my best friends, Dia, really has a thing for Muse. Especially for Eli. She’d probably try to seduce her.” “Seriously?” Nozomi gaped at Kanan. “No, not really. Well maybe.” Kanan laughed at the look on Nozomi’s face. “I don’t think she’s Eli’s type. Though she can be pretty moody, like…” “Don’t.” Nozomi warned, playfully narrowing her eyes. Kanan bit her lip, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “I’m just saying. She’s kind of like a cat too.” “Not as much as Maki-chan, I bet.” Nozomi countered. “Do you know she purrs when she’s happy?” Kanan couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Fine, Maki wins. Now that I think about it, Riko might be more her type anyway. She’s a redhead. Not really similar to Maki though. Here…” She pulled away from Nozomi and reached across to grab her phone from the bedside table. She visibly shivered as she slid back under the covers. She flicked through her photo gallery, coming to a stop at a picture of the group, taken when she’d graduated with Dia and Mari. “That’s Riko. She’s pretty quiet really, at least in comparison to the others.” “Pretty.” Nozomi observed, elated that Kanan was opening up to her. “She looks a bit like Umi-chan. Which one is Dia?” Kanan pointed to the brunette in the picture and Nozomi nodded in approval. “You said your childhood friend was the leader too, right?” “Chika.” Kanan elaborated, pointing to Chika in the picture. “She really looks up to Honoka.” She locked her phone and placed it next to her pillow, not wanting to move. “Muse is kind of the reason Chika wanted to become an idol. She even has a picture of your group on her bedroom door.” “You told me that already.” Nozomi pointed out in amusement. “Ah, sorry. I...repeat myself sometimes.” Kanan blushed. She supposed it was just easy for her to ramble on about her friends. “I’d like to meet them. If you ever want to have them over.” Nozomi said softly, closing her eyes. “Maybe just the normal ones. You and Riko maybe. And Chika if she promises to behave herself.” “Goodnight, Kanacchi.” Kanan paused, realizing she was disappointed that their conversation was ending. “Goodnight, Nozomi.” ----- Eli woke up to a slight chill in the air, having fallen asleep with Maki on the couch. She looked down at the girl in her arms, smiling softly as Maki snuggled deeper into her. “Cute…” She mumbled to herself, not loud enough to wake the sleeping redhead. She gently rubbed Maki’s back and bit her lip to hold back a laugh as Maki purred in satisfaction at the touch. She took a moment to watch Maki sleep, relieved that she seemed to be so comfortable with her. It wasn’t a secret that Maki still had some trouble opening up at times, even to Muse, who were still her closest friends. Eli sat in silence for a few minutes until she finally felt Maki stir against her, waking from her sleep. “Cold…” Maki mumbled sleepily, pressing closer to Eli even still. An arm went around the blonde’s waist and she turned her head, pressing her cheek against Eli’s chest as a small smile tugged at her lips. “Maybe we should go to bed.” Eli suggested softly, earning herself a disgruntled noise from Maki. “It’ll be warmer. And more comfortable.” “This is comfortable enough.” Maki replied, her words a bit slurred from sleep. “You’re so grumpy when you’re tired.” Eli said in amusement as she shifted a bit under Maki. “Are you coming or do I have to carry you?” Maki groaned and dragged herself into a sitting position, her eyes only half open. “Come on.” Eli smiled, reaching out to take Maki’s hand. She gently tugged her toward her bedroom where Maki immediately let go of her hand and made a beeline for her bed. Eli followed here, relieved that she’d changed into something suitable for bed as soon as they’d gotten back to the apartment. She slipped into bed next to Maki, expecting to find her already asleep. Instead she found Maki waiting for her, her eyes already open. “Hey.” “Hey.” Maki lifted her hand to suppress a yawn. Lowering it, she blinked tiredly at Eli. “Sorry, I uh...fell asleep on you.” “It’s fine.” Eli said softly, reaching out to place her hand gently on Maki’s arm. She noticed Maki glance down at her hand and briefly considered taking it away but she didn’t. “You should get some sleep if you’re tired.” Maki gave a small nod. “Is Nozomi back?” “I think so. I saw Kanan’s jacket in the hallway so probably.” Eli said with a small smile. She was hopeful that there was something between the two, like she thought. It would be good for Nozomi to have someone romantically. “Those two are getting along.” Maki said softly as if reading Eli’s mind. “Are you setting them up or something?” “Maybe.” Eli answered coyly, giving a slight shrug of her shoulders. “Kanan is fit. Nozomi can’t keep her eyes off of her recently. Besides, she needs to move on.” “Hmm? From who?” “Uh…” Eli hesitated for a moment. “Okay. Promise you won’t tell anyone about what I’m about to tell you. I trust you, Maki. A lot. So I know you wouldn’t tell anyone if you promise me.” “Okay, I promise.” Maki said uncertainly. “Who is it?” Eli took a deep breath. “Nico.” “Nico-chan?!” Maki’s eyes widened in surprise. She had expected someone from Muse but she had thought Eli was going to say Honoka or even Kotori. They seemed more like Nozomi’s type. “Wow, um...I didn’t see that coming.” “Well you know Nozomi, she’s the queen of misdirection.” Eli said with a shrug of her shoulders. “She might have hinted at it but that’s all.” “I guess she did now that I think about it.” Maki mused, remembering one of her recent conversations with Nozomi when the topic of relationships had come up. “She talked about how hot Nico-chan got...oh my god, it’s so obvious now that I think about it.” “Yeah, she doesn’t hide it really.” Eli said thoughtfully. “She can cover it up at times but when she’s drunk she just...unleashes everything. Like last time…” “What? What happened?” Maki sat up slightly, leaning on her elbow for support. She didn’t look tired anymore, she just looked curious. “Uh...Nozomi got drunk and invited Nico over. And kissed her.” Eli said, feeling a bit guilty for telling Maki everything. “Apparently Nico kissed her back an-” “Whoa, wait! What about Kotori?” Maki asked, wide eyed. “Does Nico-chan have feelings for Nozomi too?” “Uh...it’s complicated, I think. But Nico eventually pushed her away.” Eli said quickly, hoping to get through what she was saying without being interrupted. “And then Kotori slapped her the next day so obviously Nico told her what happened.” “Damn.” Maki mumbled in surprise. “Is Nozomi okay? Has she spoken to Nico-chan since?” “She’s fine and I’m not sure.” Eli answered, a bit amused by how interested Maki was. “You won’t tell Nozomi about my...date, will you?” Maki asked, suddenly looking a bit apprehensive. “I don’t want her to meddle with Sakura. You know how she is.” “No.” Eli said sincerely. “That’s between you and me, Maki. Nobody else has to know.” Maki let out a relieved sigh and lay back down, reaching for Eli’s hand. Eli held her breath as Maki lightly grasped her fingers, drawing her hand up so that she could inspect it. “What?” “She’s going to ask why your hand is bruised.” Maki pointed out, gently running her thumb over Eli’s bruised knuckles. “I’ll tell her I hit a wall or something.” Eli answered confidently. “Don’t worry about that. Just get some sleep, okay? I’m going to.” She turned over at that, facing away from Maki and closing her eyes. She wasn’t sure how she was going to keep what happened a secret from Nozomi. They never kept secrets from one another. She inhaled sharply as she felt Maki shuffle close, pressing herself to her back. “Goodnight, Eli.” “G-Goodnight.” Eli rasped back, distracted by Maki’s warmth against her. ----- Nozomi let out a heavy sigh. She only had one class on Thursdays so she generally dedicated that day to working, on top of her usual evening and Saturday shifts. It was gruelling, on top of her studying but it was the only way she could pay her share of the rent as well as have enough money for food and herself. She supposed the fact that Kanan had moved in lessened that pressure quite a bit. For Eli too. That was always a good thing. Her best friend seemed to be so stressed at times. Nozomi smiled and thanked the customer she had just served before stepping back to give herself a moment to breathe. For the past thirty minutes customers had been coming and going without pause and she’d barely had a second to herself. She heard the familiar chime of someone entering the cafe and did her utmost not to groan, reminding herself that it would be worth it in the long run. She’d have more money, she’d be able to go out more with her friends and generally have more freedom. She looked up, her optimism fading quickly when she saw who had entered the cafe. Sakura, along with a boy she didn’t recognize. She forced a smile as they approached her. “What can I get for you?” “Two medium lattes to go.” The guy answered briefly. “Coming right up.” Nozomi said through gritted teeth before she turned away and went to make the coffee. As angry as she was with Sakura, she had to be professional at work. “So what happened?” Sakura asked, her voice a bit hushed though Nozomi could still hear what she was saying. “She hit you?” “No, some blonde bitch hit me when I followed Maki into the bathroom.” Nozomi tensed as she heard the guy answer. She swallowed thickly and tried to focus on making the coffees while listening to what was being said. “And then Maki hit me with a door.” Sakura laughed at that. “What did you follow her into the bathroom for?” “What do you think?!” The guy snapped loudly. Nozomi grinded her teeth together in annoyance. “I’d spent the night taking it slow, just you know...flirting with her, touching her when we were in the movie theatre. You said I’d get something out of this.” “You will.” Sakura promised quickly. “She’ll be yours to do whatever you want with before long. We just have to take it slowly.” Nozomi turned and walked back to them, doing her utmost to keep her temper in check. “Well as long as I get to fu-” Nozomi abruptly tossed the content of one of the cups of coffee toward the guy’s crotch, causing him to yell out in surprise and pain as he clutched at the area. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” Nozomi said sarcastically as she set the other cup down in front of Sakura. “I guess you’re going to have trouble using that for a while.” “What the FUCK?!” The guy exclaimed loudly, drawing the attention of some nearby customers.

Nozomi glanced briefly at Sakura who was staring at her in shock. She turned back to the guy she didn’t recognize. “I’m a friend of Maki-chan’s. If you lay a hand on her you’re going to get a whole lot worse. Not just from me. Maki-chan has a lot of friends.” “You’re crazy.” “Get out. The coffee is on the house.” Nozomi said with a smirk. She noticed Sakura reach for her coffee and drew it away from her. “Not for you.” Sakura scoffed and shook her head before she turned and walked away, her friend limping after her after shooting Nozomi an angry glare. Nozomi took a long breath, trying to calm herself. She was relieved nobody seemed to have noticed what she’d done at least. The last thing she needed was to lose her job. ----- “What happened to your hand?” Nozomi asked, glancing to the left at Eli who was sitting on the couch next to her. The blonde had entered a few minutes ago and while she had gravitated toward Nozomi’s side as usual, she seemed shifty. “Uh…” “Save your breath, I already know.” Nozomi let out a heavy sigh. “It’s not like I can complain about it. They came into the cafe today and let’s just say coffee is a dangerous weapon.” Eli merely gaped at Nozomi. “T-They were talking about her?” Nozomi gave a slight nod. “It really pissed me off. That he put his hands on her.” Eli swallowed thickly. “Don’t tell anyone. Especially Honoka and Nico. They’ll want to kill him.” “I want to kill him.” Nozomi muttered, looking down at her hands in her lap. She watched as they tightened into fists. “Both of them. They’re torturing her, Eli.” “I know.” Eli said, looking down at her feet. “I know that. I just don’t know what to do about it.” “Make a move. Tell her how you feel. Whatever you do, don’t be a coward like me.” Nozomi said sincerely. “But what about taking it slo-” “Screw that, she’s dense. Just kiss her already!” Nozomi exclaimed, turning toward Eli. “You need to take a risk every once in awhile, Elichi.” “Not if I’m risking my friendship with Maki.” Eli said with a shake of her head. She could never risk something that meant so much to her. “I can’t. I won’t.” ----- “I’m glad you could all come.” Hanayo beamed, looking around at her friends. She’d decided at the last minute that the group should all get together, for the sake of introducing her boyfriend to them. It was important to her that he get along with them. Regardless of how much time they all had to hang out together now, the members of Muse were still her closest friends. “We wouldn’t have missed it.” Honoka said with a smile as she leaned into Umi’s side. “It’s too bad Rin-chan isn’t here though. It would have been nice to see her tonight.” “She wanted to come.” Hanayo said, looking a bit disappointed. “But she had some kind of exam tomorrow...right?” Raven sat up a bit straighter as Hanayo looked at him. As much as he was trying to act cool and collected, he was nervous about meeting her friends. Especially so many of them at the same time. “She has a big race coming up tomorrow so she can’t really leave right now, she said. She thinks she should be able to get a little bit of time off over winter break.” “You’re friends with Rin-chan?” Nozomi asked, a little bit surprised that he seemed to know more than even Hanayo did. “Is that how the two of you…?” She trailed off, gesturing between the two of them. “No, he lives in Tokyo.” Hanayo answered with a shake of her head. “He is friends with Rin-chan though.” Raven nodded in agreement. “I’ve only met her once in person but we talk over Skype when she calls Hanayo.” “He’s under exaggerating.” Hanayo said with a roll of her eyes. “They talk more than I talk to Rin. They’re always messing around on some kind of game or something. It’s pretty cute.” Raven gave an awkward laugh as Hanayo grinned at him. “So are you a student?” Umi cut in curiously. “Or do you work?” “I’m actually training at a police academy.” Raven answered, glancing briefly at Hanayo before looking back to Umi. “I have been for a few months now so…” “You’re dating a cop?” Nico snorted in amusement at the revelation. “Somehow that’s not surprising.” “Hey!” Hanayo exclaimed, affronted by the comment. “What does that even mean?” Nico shrugged. Kotori lightly nudged Nico from the side. “Well I think it’s nice. It’s good to have a clear goal.” “Thanks um...Kotori.” Raven said, pausing for a split second to make sure he was getting her name right. Kotori raised an eyebrow. “You know my name?” “Sure. I know everyone’s names. Hanayo talks about you guys a lot. Well except...” Raven looked to the girl with blue hair sitting at Nozomi’s side. “Kanan.” Kanan said with a smile and a shrug of her shoulders. “I’m a friend of Nozomi’s.” She heard Eli clear her throat and glanced over at her. “And Eli’s. I’m their roommate.” Nozomi bit her lip to hold back a grin at the fact that Kanan had said her name first. Maki leaned into Eli’s side, grasping her hand under the table. Eli inhaled sharply, looking down for a second. When she looked up Maki wasn’t looking at her though. “Ma-” “I need some air.” Maki said, quickly getting up from her seat. Eli moved to get up too but Nico, who was sitting near her, stopped her. “She just needs some space. Leave it alone, okay?” Eli looked to Nozomi, at a loss but it didn’t seem like Nozomi had even noticed anything. She seemed to be wrapped up in her conversation with Kanan. Raven watched curiously as Maki left the bar through the back exit. He remembered Hanayo mentioning that Maki was having some relationship problems of some kind but she hadn’t gone into much detail. He heard Hanayo say something to him but he was distracted by the sight of a young man following Maki out of the bar. “I have to go.” He said abruptly, getting to his feet. He noticed Muse look at him in surprise. “To the um...bathroom. I’ll be right back.” Hanayo noticed something was wrong and as he left the table, she followed after him. “Hey, where are you going?” She asked, grasping his arm just before he got to the exit. “Is something wrong? I know they can be a little intense at times but…” “I’m going after Maki. Some guy just followed her out so I…” Raven trailed off at the sound of a female yell from outside. Nobody else in the bar heard it because of the music. “Maki-chan!” Hanayo recognized the yell immediately and ducked through the door. She gasped, seeing a man had grabbed onto Maki’s shirt to pull her close to him. As she dashed toward them she heard the sound of it tearing. “Hanayo!” Raven exclaimed loudly as he followed Hanayo out. He was on his way to them when he saw Hanayo force herself between the young man and Maki, pushing against the attackers chest with all her might. He picked up his pace then, sprinting toward them but he didn’t get there fast enough to keep the male from countering Hanayo’s shoving with a backhand across the face. He reached them a second too late, grabbing the man’s jacket and tearing him away from Maki and Hanayo. In a fit of rage, he hit the guy back, sending him sprawling to the floor. He turned his attention to Hanayo then, noticing her cupping her jaw. “Let me see.” Raven said softly as he reached for her hands. He gently moved her hands away and gritted his teeth when he noticed her lip was bleeding. “Fucking bastard. It’s okay, it’s just a little blood…” He wiped it away as carefully as he could with his thumb and turned his attention to Maki. “Hey, are you oka-” He was cut off as the door he’d come through with Hanayo was thrown open, hitting the wall. He looked over his shoulder in time to see Nozomi and Eli emerge in a hurry, Kanan right behind them. “Elichi, please ca-” Nozomi had been pleading with Eli to calm down but she trailed off when she noticed Hiromi on the floor. “You bastard.” Eli looked between Maki, Hiromi and Hanayo and Raven, putting two and two together. She approached Hiromi and kicked him hard in the crotch with a yell of anger while Nozomi passed her, heading toward a silently crying Maki. Eli grabbed Hiromi by the shirt, pulling him up. “If you ever go near her again I’ll personally neuter you. Got that?!” She didn’t wait for an answer before she flung him back down to the ground and went to Maki. She paused near Hanayo and Raven though when Hiromi spoke up. “You can’t tell me that. She’s Sakura’s…” “Maki doesn’t belong to anyone. Especially you and Sakura.” Eli cut him off before she made her way to Maki who moved from Nozomi’s arms into hers, hugging her tightly. “Get out of here.” Raven told the guy as he broke away from Hanayo. He picked the guy up by his shirt and shoved him in the direction of the street. ---- “You need to stop pacing.” Maki said, her words a little bit slurred as she watched Eli pace back and forward in front of her. It would stop sometimes and Eli would seem to have calmed down but then she would rile herself up again and continue to pace. “I can’t.” Eli answered, pausing for a moment nevertheless. She ran her fingers aggravatedly through her hair. “I’m just so pissed, I can’t…” She trailed off as Maki pushed herself to her knees on the bed and reached forward the grasp her hand. She let the redhead draw her onto the bed. “M-Maki…” She protested weakly but she was powerless to resist when Maki pushed her down onto her back on the bed. With a sigh, Maki lay down next to Eli, resting her head against her chest. “Your heart is beating so fast…” “I’m just worked up. Angry.” Eli answered hoarsely, trying not to focus on the weight of Maki’s head resting against her. “I hate him. I just want to…” She trailed off, shaking her head. “Thank you.” Maki said softly, sliding her arm around Eli’s midsection and giving a gentle squeeze. “You’re always here for me when I need you. More than anyone else. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Eli gave a slightly nervous laugh. “I think you’ve been drinking too much.” “I haven’t!” Maki protested as she pushed herself up on one arm.”I’ve hardly had anything to drink…” She trailed off, her gaze drifting from Eli’s face, down to her neck and chest and then briefly down to her stomach. The tank top Eli had put on for bed had ridden up a bit, exposing her stomach. “You’re really pretty, you know? I’ve thought that since high school. I mean everyone thought that but...you’re even more beautiful now.” Eli felt her cheeks warm slightly with embarrassment. “I-I should be the one telling you that.” Maki smiled and pushed herself up, sliding over Eli so that she was straddling her waist. “Really?” Eli’s heart thumped heavily against her chest. “Yeah. I think...you’re the prettiest girl I know.” Maki’s expression turned serious for a moment as she reached down, skimming her fingers across Eli’s cheek. Eli held her breath as Maki leaned down, only releasing it when the redhead gently pressed their foreheads together. Instinctively her hands went to Maki’s hips to steady her. “What are you doing, Maki?” “You’ll sleep with me tonight, right?” The whispered question had Eli’s heart leaping to her throat and brought with it indecent images to her mind. “I don’t want to spend the night alone.” “I’ll do anything you want.” Eli said, her voice surprisingly confident to her own ears. “Maki, listen…” She moved her right hand to rest gently at the back of Maki’s head. “I don’t care what Sakura says about you. Or tries to make you do. I-I love you. And I’m always going to be here for you. For whatever you need. Do you understand?” She was both hopeful and afraid that Maki really would understand. That she would see what Eli was fearfully hinting at. When Maki nodded, Eli let out a shaky breath. “So what do you need from me?” Maki licked her lips. “I want you to kiss me.” Eli felt her heart skip a beat in her chest and swallowed thickly. “Whatever you need.” She slowly leaned up, using her elbows to push herself. She was worried, thinking that she might be taking advantage in some way but then she was pressing her lips to Maki’s and as her eyes slid shut her worries faded away, replaced with nothing but bliss. Maki closed her eyes, wrapping one arm around Eli’s neck as she leaned into the kiss. The blonde’s lips were soft and warm against her own and she tasted like the tea she’d been drinking not too long ago. When Maki had been drowning her sorrows in sake. Eli whimpered as Maki’s tongue brushed against her lower lip, an obvious request to deepen the kiss. As was always the case with Maki, she couldn’t say no to her. She parted her lips and shuddered as Maki’s tongue slipped past. She kissed her back harder, desperate for the contact. She didn’t notice her arms were shaking until they gave out beneath her and she fell onto her back, Maki moving with her. They landed lightly, their lips not breaking contact until Maki drew back slightly. “Tell me again.” Maki whispered before she kissed Eli once more, a brief touch this time. Eli found herself confused for a moment before she realized what Maki needed to hear. Of course she did, she realized with a sinking feeling. Maki had told her how worthless Sakura could make her feel. “I love you.” She whispered before she kissed Maki once more. Maki didn’t make any move to deepen this kiss this time, she just stayed close to Eli, their lips moving slowly against each other’s until the blonde slowly drew away. Maki moved off of Eli, collapsing onto her side next to her. Eli stayed still for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling as she tried once again to commit the feeling of Maki kissing her to memory. She knew that it couldn’t last much longer. That eventually Maki would stop having these nights where she got drunk and kissed her. She glanced at Maki, sighing when she found the girl was asleep already. Feeling something clutching her hand she looked down, a small smile tugging at her lips when she found it was Maki’s hand, holding onto her own. “Damn it.” Eli whispered in exasperation. The situation was hopeless, at least for her. She leaned in and gently pressed her lips to Maki’s forehead. “I love you.” She murmured once more before she lay down next to Maki. Tired from the long night, she fell asleep quite quickly, missing Maki’s soft response of ‘I love you’ as the redhead unconsciously pressed closer to her. ------ “You don’t have to hold my hand all the way back to the apartment you know.” Nozomi said in amusement as she wandered down the street with Kanan, the girl’s hand clutching tightly to her own. “I do, you’re drunk. Do I need to remind you that you almost fell over your own feet on your way out of the bar?” Kanan asked, raising an eyebrow. “Must have been all of that shōchū you were drinking.” “I didn’t realize there was a step.” Nozomi grumbled in embarrassment though she decided that Kanan had a good point. Besides that it wasn’t as though she minded holding the girl’s hand. It was nice really. Kanan’s fingers were soft and warm between her own. “I still can’t believe Hanayo-chan sat there for so long with an ice pack on her face.” Kanan chuckled as she recalled Hanayo’s refusal to end the evening just because she’d been hit. “She seems stubborn. Besides it’s not like she had to hold the ice pack herself. Must be nice to be in a relationship like that.” “I wouldn’t know.” Nozomi said quietly. There was a beat of silence before she spoke again. “So are you still bitter that you couldn’t drink?” “Don’t remind me. Being sober and surrounded by drunk people isn’t fun. Especially your friends, Nico and Kotori. They got hammered.” Kanan said with a roll of her eyes. “And then the making out…” She rolled her eyes at that. The two had been all over each other. Thankfully their table was in the corner, mostly out of sight. “I guess I can see why you like her though. She’s kind of….” “Yeah.” Nozomi answered as Kanan trailed off. She didn’t need her to finish. She already knew what she was going to say. “Don’t tell me you have a thing for her too.” “No. I mean she’s hot and...her making out with another hot girl is REALLY hot but um...she’s not really my type.” Kanan said with a shrug of her shoulders. “Who is your type?” Nozomi asked, casting a sidelong glance at Kanan. “Eli? Or am I way off? Raven?” “I like girls.” Kanan said with an awkward laugh. “If I’m honest you used to catch my attention a lot when you danced in Muse. I mean…” Her eyes slid briefly to Nozomi’s chest before she looked back up into her eyes. “So you’re saying you used to check me out when you were in high school?” Nozomi teased with a grin. “That’s sweet.” Kanan shrugged. “I always thought you were one of the better dancers. I especially loved the ballet twirl you did during Dancing Stars on Me.” Nozomi gave a soft laugh and bumped Kanan with her shoulder as they reached the apartment block. “You’re just flattering me now.” Kanan didn’t say anything as Nozomi took out her key and let them both in. The trek up to the fourth floor was made in silence. Kanan didn’t say anything as Nozomi let them into the apartment either. “I guess Elichi is at Maki’s.” Nozomi commented softly when she found the apartment in darkness. She flicked on the light and carefully took off her coat, hanging it up while Kanan did the same. “Yeah….” Kanan wandered further into the house, heading for the docking station in the kitchen. She slid her phone into place and pressed shuffle, starting a song she didn’t really recognize. “I’m too wired to go to bed. What do you say we have a dri-” She trailed off as she felt someone grasp her hand and pull her around. She giggled as Nozomi pulled her into a spin. “Or I guess we could do this instead.” “Elichi ain’t the only only one who took a dance class.” Nozomi grinned, drawing Kanan to her. She grasped her waist gently, their eyes locking. “Though that was when me and my parents were living in Paris.” “Whoa, you were in Paris?” Kanan asked in surprise , her hand automatically going to Nozomi’s shoulders. “Only for two years. My father is in the army so we got reallocated a lot.” Nozomi answered, surprising herself with how easy it was to say that. She didn’t often talk about it. “I eventually decided to stay here by myself because I hated having to lose and make friends. And this is where I wanted to be.” “So you lived by yourself in high school?” Kanan asked softly, moving a bit closer so her voice could be heard over the music. “Sounds lonely.” Nozomi seemed to think about that for a moment. “Maybe for a while. But I had Elichi and then later on I had the rest of Muse. Those girls meant...mean a lot to me. What about you? Were you ever...lonely?” “Maybe not lonely.” Kanan answered with a shrug of her shoulders. “I guess you could say I felt abandoned in my last year of high school. Mari, the crazy one I was telling you about...I made a sacrifice for her. I sacrificed Love Live, our friendship...so that she could…” She trailed off, realizing Nozomi was staring at her intently. “It’s just complicated stuff with my friends. Forget about it.” “I like hearing about your friends.” Nozomi said with a subtle shake of her head. “I like hearing about you and the things you care about.” “I’m just a girl from a small town.” Kanan said sheepishly. “There’s nothing really...wow about me. Not like you.” “I disagree. You intrigue me.” Nozomi smiled softly at the look of surprise on Kanan’s face. “And I like being around you. Why do you think I asked you to come with me tonight?” “Now who’s flattering who?” “What I’m saying is the truth.” Nozomi said as sincerely as she could. “You’re adorable and I...I want to get to know you better.” “What are you sayi-” Kanan let out a squeak of alarm as Nozomi impishly dipped her in time with the music playing. “H-Hey!” She realized suddenly that Nozomi had known exactly what move to make and when to do it. “You know this song?” “Sure.” Nozomi answered softly before singing the next line. “This is your racing heart…” Kanan swallowed thickly. She could feel her heart racing in her chest. Without thinking, she leaned up and pressed her lips to Nozomi’s full ones. She felt the girl tense for a second in surprise before she carefully kissed her back. Neither of them were in a hurry to deepen the kiss, content in the gentle movement of the other’s lips against their own. Slowly, they parted and Kanan blushed as Nozomi helped her back into an upright position. “I-I should probably go to bed.” “Kanacchi.” Nozomi said softly, tightening her grip on Kanan slightly. “Come to my room.” “Eeeehhh?!” Kanan’s eyes widened in surprise, her face turning red. “Not like that!” Nozomi said quickly. “Geez, I’m not like that even if I am...drunk. I just like feeling you next to me. I-In pyjamas obviously! If you don’t want to...do that again, it’s fine. But we can still be fr-” “I liked it.” Kanan intercepted quickly. “I really like kissing you and I don’t want to stop. I mean...I don’t want to not see where it goes. If that’s what you want.” Nozomi turned serious suddenly and cupped Kanan’s chin in her hand, drawing into another kiss. Deeper this time, her hand going possessively to the middle of Kanan’s back to hold her close to her. Kanan gripped Nozomi’s shirt and pressed forward against her, their shorts and tights brushing against each other. As Nozomi deepened the kiss further, experimentally slipping her tongue past soft lips, Kanan inhaled sharply. It wasn’t her first kiss. She’d kissed Mari once before because the blonde had wanted to experiment and Kanan hadn’t seen the harm but this kiss was completely different. It was hot and deep and had Kanan’s body tingling with excitement every time she felt Nozomi’s tongue brush against her own or felt her teeth rake softly over her lip. It was a kiss that made her chest tight and made her weak in the knees. “Nozomi.” Kanan gasped softly against Nozomi’s lips as the older girl’s hand slid under her shirt at the back, fingers splaying out over her skin. She was almost relieved when Nozomi slowly pulled away from her. She had really thought her knees might give out. “Go on a date with me.” Nozomi requested hopefully. “I want to try to do this properly.” “O-Okay. I would like that.” Kanan stuttered, struggling to get her mind around the fact that someone from Muse had asked her out. “Um...do you still want me to go with you? T-To your room?” “You’re so cute…” Nozomi marvelled as Kanan blushed. “And yes, I would still like that.” Kanan breathed out a sigh of relief as Nozomi took her hand. She pulled back for a moment to get her phone but returned to her roommate's side quickly. Nozomi pressed a quick kiss to Kanan’s cheek before she tugged her to her bedroom. ---- Nozomi set a cup of hot coffee down in front of Eli who looked up in time to mutter her gratitude before she buried her face back in her hands. Nozomi sat down on the couch next to her, nursing her own coffee. “Are you going to tell me what happened or am I going to have to pry it out of you?” Eli sighed heavily. “We made out.” Nozomi raised an eyebrow though she wasn’t surprised by the news. She was just confused by Eli’s pessimistic attitude. “Congratulations.” “She was drunk again.” Eli groaned and leaned back, looking up at Nozomi. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t resist her.” Nozomi chuckled softly. “You should make a move before she devours you, Elichi.” “Huh? Why?” “Because she unconsciously wants your body.” Nozomi said seriously. “Her body and heart want you, it’s just her mind that’s a mess right now. You need to make a move before you lose your chance.” “I want her to make the move. But I want it to be when she’s sobe-” Eli cut herself off as Kanan walked out of Nozomi’s bedroom, clad in a long shirt. The first thing Eli noticed was that her legs were fully on display, the next thing was the bruise on her neck. “Morning.” Kanan mumbled tiredly as she went to the coffee machine. “Good morning.” Eli replied, watching Nozomi’s eyes rake over Kanan’s form. She lowered her voice slightly. “Something you want to tell me, Nozomi?” Nozomi blushed at the question and shrugged her shoulders. “I-I like her, okay? Don’t make a big deal out of it though. It’s...new.” “So have you...you know?” Eli tilted her head toward Kanan. “No! I’m...not ready for that yet.” Nozomi said in embarrassment. She knew there wasn’t much of a need to be though. Eli was in the same situation as her in terms of experience. She briefly wondered if Kanan had ever slept with anyone. Before she could work herself up thinking about that she heard footsteps behind her and then a hand pressed against her shoulder. She looked up at Kanan who flashed her a small smile. “I was thinking about heading into the aquarium today to check up on some things. Do you want to maybe….” Kanan was cut off by the door across the room opening. Maki walked in, rubbing her head. Nozomi sighed. “You got drunk too, Maki-chan? Sit down and I’ll make you some coffee.” She got up, letting Maki take her place on the couch and went back to the kitchen with Kanan. “You weren’t there when I woke up.” Maki grumbled as she sat down. “Sorry, I just needed to get changed and talk to Nozomi.” Eli said regretfully. “I was going to come back when I was done.” Maki heaved out a sigh. “I missed your warmth. The bed feels cold without you.” “Ah…” Eli felt her heart pound against her chest at the comment. She felt Maki lean her head against her shoulder but she continued to look forward, recalling Nozomi’s words from earlier. She knew that if she looked at Maki, if she saw the undoubtable sleepy and disgruntled expression on her face up close that she would just melt. “Eli.” Maki looked up at Eli, squinting slightly. “Is something wrong?” “No…” Eli said quietly though she still didn’t look at Maki. She heard the girl sigh then felt fingers entwine with her own. She gritted her teeth together. It was agonizing, being so close to Maki at times. “You’re so warm.” Maki mumbled, pressing herself closer to Eli’s arm. Eli closed her eyes as she felt Maki huddle against her. She tried to ignore the softness of Maki’s breast pushing against her arm, the slight tickle of Maki’s breath against her collar. “Damn it….” “Hmm?” Maki hummed in confusion. “Oh, nothing. Just remembered I have an exam to study for later.” Eli lied quickly. “Don’t worry about it.” “We could go back to bed for now.” Maki hadn’t meant that to sound suggestive. Eli knew that. But it still sounded that way to her. “We’ll take our coffee and hide out in bed until noon.” Maki proposed, smiling against Eli’s shoulder. “It’s freezing out here. Wouldn’t it be better if we could cuddle up under some warm blankets?” Eli forced out a laugh. “Never thought I’d hear you say you want to cuddle with someone.” “With you.” Maki corrected as if it made all the difference. “I’ll even help you with your studying later, I promise. Even politics.” From the kitchen, Kanan and Nozomi were watching the two. “Is Maki seriously oblivious to her own actions?” Kanan asked curiously. “Yeah.” “Wow.” Kanan muttered. “She’s really nothing like I imagine. None of you are.” She braced herself with her hip against the counter as she faced Nozomi. “Hey um...about what I was saying before about the aquarium, you don’t have to…” “I would love to come!” Nozomi interrupted brightly. “That is what you were going to ask me right?” “Yeah…” Kanan answered before nervously biting her lip. Nozomi smiled and stepped forward, placing a hand gently on Kanan’s hip. She could feel Kanan’s warm skin through the thin shirt, along with the subtle outline of the edge of her underwear. “Kanacchi. You don’t strike me as the nervous type.” “Maybe I am when I’m around girls I like.” Kanan proposed with a playful smile. “Especially really pretty girls I like.” “Oh?” Nozomi pressed Kanan back against the counter behind her, her body hovering close to the other girl’s. “I can think of more words to describe you.” Kanan swallowed thickly, her mind flitting back to the previous night. “Yeah?” “Have you seen yourself?” Nozomi asked pointedly, glancing down between them. It was clear through the shirt Kanan was wearing that she wasn’t wearing a bra and looking further down, Nozomi was quickly captivated by long, muscular legs. She felt a hand gently nudge her head up and locked eyes with Kanan’s. “Sorry.” “So you’ll go with me then?” Kanan asked hopefully, draping her arms around Nozomi’s shoulders. It felt strange to do but she supposed that was because she wasn’t used to it just yet. “Please?” “Of course.” Nozomi smiled softly at the request. She was taken by surprise when Kanan leaned in, kissing her gently but she didn’t pull away. She didn’t want to. It was nice, being so close to someone. Not just anyone though. It was nice to be close to Kanan specifically. Eli took the opportunity to distract herself from Maki. “No making out in the kitchen!” “Huh?!” Maki looked up, her eyes widening as she watched Nozomi and Kanan part, blushing. “Wait, when did that happen?” “Should I not have…?” Kanan trailed off sheepishly. “It’s fine. I’m glad you did.” Nozomi smiled, choosing not to answer Maki just yet. TBC

#EliMaki #HonoUmi #KotoNico #NozoNico #NozoKanan

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insecure-hbo-recaps · 7 years

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hella questions

Previously on Insecure: A bunch of bad dates, missing Lawrence, trifling Lawrence, failed "get my ex back" party, Molly is way underpaid. And two minutes of ex sex.

"Y'all fucked?" is the incredulity that welcomes us to the second episode of the season. I can't decide if I love or hate that Issa has one of those old school ugly wooden entertainment center things that I'm sure we ALL had growing up.

Issa is also wearing a hoodie with Harriet Tubman on it... though I can't figure out what the two pictures on her wall are. Molly wants to know who initiated the sex and whether they've spoken since. They aren't really in any better place, and Molly doesn't find this encouraging. Issa is grasping at straws. Molly asks whether it was a getting back together fuck or a "fuck you" fuck. Hmmm. As someone who recently had sex with her ex that she's still in love with... it was definitely neither lol. It was... well, actually, it was a “I put up this picture of me kissing another dude as my facebook profile pic so that everyone could stop feeling sorry for me for being single, but you think I moved on and am dating someone else and don't love your trifling ass anymore and you got the nerve to have a jealous streak" kind of a fuck. This fool asked me like four times "so what's new with you?" As if I would tell if it WAS true, lol. Anyway, the sex between Lawrence and Issa would fall in a similar category - dudes being in their insecure ass feelings but STILL not trying to give you the respect you deserve.

Issa calls the sex "nebulous." Nebulous: unclear, vague, or ill defined. Molly is wary of drawing any conclusions based on this murky outcome, but Issa brightly tries to convince herself the sex means something good. Idk, girl. I don't feel like that. I'm not even going to delude myself that way.

Lawrence is in the gym, because in case you haven't noticed, he ain't a capn crunch eating white socks scrub no more. He starts to text Issa that he made things weird and didn't plan for it to happen, but thinks better of it and deletes it.

Meanwhile, Molly did stick with her therapist and is at a second session. Far from how close mouthed she had been before, she is ranting energetically about her stronger work ethic and going above and beyond but still being underpaid. Honestly, this is why I just solve this issue by half assing everything at work. I'm never going above and beyond. I will ALWAYS be a solid 3/4 at annual performance review time. Fuck your five star review. This job don't give a fuck about me and I don't give a fuck about y'all. And when the pay stops being enough, my resume makes it easy for me to bounce and renegotiate a new salary. But Molly is not interested in conceding defeat and can't understand why she can't figure out a way to get into the all boy's club. The therapist points out that Molly is "shoulding" all over herself. And if you watch this show, you've seen Sex and the City, so we don't need to break down the logistics of this.

The therapist tries to tell Molly she's living in the reality she thinks she should have, not the one she does have. Molly, naturally, doesn't understand what she's saying. The therapist tells her that there are certain standards levied at black women - and let's take the time to point out the difference here... in the past, the standards of a black woman were to singlehandedly manage a household and all of its financial and functional needs, put yourself aside and be a supporting force for everyone else in your life, and maybe you might find a man but how can you expect that, and you shouldn't, because it's too hard, and well, if you can't find one, maybe nice Willie the janitor will be there for you and don't be thinking bout no law degree. That shit ain't the move no more. These days the perfect standards of being a black woman are all about getting your 2013 self titled album Beyonce on - fulfilled in yourself and your life choices and not subscribing to any ideology that says you can't be enough or what you have to offer isn't valuable... with a slice of "even if no one else can see my value, I know it far exceeds that of many of those around me." Later for settling. Later for accepting scraps. But now that opens the door to a battle that's twice as hard, choosing to except the ways in which you are exceptional, in a world that is not willing to agree with you purely because... you are a black woman.

The therapist asks Molly if she would be open to a life that doesn't look like the one she thinks she "should" have. Molly isn't ready to grapple with that idea, and demurs on scheduling the next session. See what I'm saying? Bitches afraid to look at themselves.

Gallery opening. Which, again, is a little too close to Sex and the City for me, but I don't know what y'all be doing in California or New York. Gallery openings ain't a thing in Chicago. The four of them are talking about Issa's party. Tiffany is being annoyingly bougie as usual, Kelli is only mildly extra. I don't... I don't know what to say about these outfits.

I fully respect everything Insecure is doing. But I'd be a damn lie if I said... it was very... right, I suppose. It wouldn't be the route I'd take if it were my show, I guess is what I'd say. They are trying to decide plans for the weekend but Issa doesn't want to go out clubbing - she thinks sleeping with Lawrene means a reunion is imminent so she can't really be going out anymore. Tiffany decides to empathize and shares that her gay husband lived in a hotel for basically half a year while they were going through something. "The point is, even perfect couples have problems," Tiffany says, and I'm not looking forward to the season where they try to humanize Tiffany by showing she hides behind all this "perfect" bullshit to cover up the fact that she is miserably depressed and hates herself. I accidentally paused at a moment that captures this sentiment:

Issa thinks she just needs to give Lawrence time to forgive her; he can't just walk away from five years like that. Every single time I've thought I offered something so incredibly unique to a man he'd be stupid to walk away from it, I was patently, 100% wrong. Kelli points out that for 2 of those years his bum ass mooched off on her couch and Issa should move on. Issa wants to work it out. But... really? Why would Issa want to still be with Lawrence? She wasn't happy with him, that's why she cheated in the first place. And I'm not buying that she saw the error of her ways and truly wants the life they had together in the end. More like being single is shit, especially when you've had someone as your counterpart for a significant chunk of time, and rather than adjusting to something new it's easier and more comfortable to want back what you had.

Kelli lets it slip that Lawrence is with someone knew, which Tiffany was also aware of. They know who she is and everything, but Issa claims she doesn't want to know. In the two seconds it takes to decry that claim, Molly finds Tasha's instagram profile. Tiffany offers some friendly shit-talking ("why does she only speak in emojis?") and Kelli says she looks like a stripper. Issa pretends like she doesn't want to know who she is.

Gallery bathroom. While Issa is doing her "go high or go low?" mirror freestyle, I am just mesmerized by her crown-mimicking braidout. Like. I wouldn't wear it because I couldn't pull it off, but it is fascinating on her. She decides going the high road is overrated, and when Molly comes to check on her, Issa snaps, "pull that bitch up!" The soundtrack that kicks in at that moment - bass heavy intoning "fuck that nigga" - pulls all of us back on the thrones we sometimes forget but need always to occupy.

The next day. For reasons that are unclear, Issa stops by Chad's apartment looking for Lawrence. Chad remarks on her glow up approvingly, which Issa awkwardly plays off. They have awkward small tight for a bit before Issa asks for Lawrence. Chad doesn't want to say where he really is, and if I had the skills/patience to make gifs, I'd insert one here now of the coy way he then slups on the straw of his beet juice. As it is, Issa concedes defeat and decides to leave.

It turns out Lawrence is at Tasha's, watching Defamation. I know that's not the name of their in-series show, but I can't be bothered to find out what it was, so I'm just going to call it the same as DWP's. Tasha is into it while Lawrence is aloof, and the thing that makes *me* most uncomfortable about Tasha - as stated, I do not buy into the thotty because she is traditional narrative - is her liking Real Housewives-y television and occupying that "black women in Atlanta" sort of social space. I do fully approve of her around the way girl oversized gold hoops.

Lawrence says he has things on his mind and Tasha, again refreshingly casually, asks whether he wants to talk about it. She gets a text from her mom, informing her about a family barbecue. She takes a moment and hints about whether or not Lawrence would like to come. Rather than pretend to be oblivious, Lawrence actually makes a noise like he acknowledges this time that he knows this would mean something, and Tasha, sensing his hesitation, immediately walks the invitation back. Lawrence decides to just drop that he slept with his ex. He tries to explain why it happens and says he just wants to be honest, and doesn't know what it means. Hmm. I don't know at this point in their relationship how big a deal this should be, so Tasha's measured response of "I think you need to go" is about level and appropriate. Oh MAYNE, she got that black glass and gold accented vanity mirror that I'm sure was a pattern we ALL had in our moms' bedrooms at some point.

Dunes. Issa is getting ready for bed, trying to resist looking up Tasha. Of course she isn't able to manage it, and pulls up Tasha's instagram.

Law firm. Molly rolls up on the front desk lady and they exchange pleasantries and niceties. Molly wants to know about a hockey game the bosses are going to. She is planning to shoot her shot and try to ingratiate herself into the "boy's club." "I'm scared of you," the front desk lady says neutrally, grinning and turning back to her computer.

Issa's boring after school job. The principle is prejudiced against latinos, Frieda doesn't like it, Issa is tone deaf. Blah blah blah.

So how do we feel about Chad's suit? Apparently he had to wait outside for Lawrence to express his disbelief that Lawrence told Tasha about Issa. Uh, how did he find out about that? lol. Lawrence says he couldn't lie about it because he's "not dirty like that." Chad, and all of us:

Seriously, what's up with Lawrence? He is delusional about his capacity for being a good dude. Which, to be perfectly frank with you, is not very surprising to me for a guy who could mooch off his girlfriend for two years and then be totally blindsided with her being dissatisfied and unhappy in the relationship. Lawrence can't believe he slept with Issa, thinking he was once step out the door away. Chad is overall not surprised that Lawrence went back to being a "John Legend ass nigga."

Apparently they are going to check out a new apartment for Lawrence. Why does Chad need to be there for that? Chad mentions that Issa came by looking for him, acknowledging her glow up: "did she always look like that?"

The broker is a black woman in an off white pantsuit. You know how sometimes you'll be watching white tv and you never see any black people until you need a bus driver or a maid or a nurse or some other menial service person? Insecure does this in reverse where most of the roles of businesspeople in the community are held by black women, which is truer to life. Anyway, she's Patty from ABG. The apartment seems to have disturbingly pale sea green walls which I would not be happy with. I'd feel like my entire apartment is a bloody bathroom from a scary movie. That's the exact same shade of sea foam green blue.

They like the apartment. It's pretty big. I know nothing about Los Angeles real estate but I assume it's extremely expensive. Lawrence is hesitant to commit, possibly because he wants an invite back to the Dunes. Who knows, the scene doesn't elaborate.

High School. Frieda is mad about Principal Gaines not caring about the latino students. She calls it a "racist joke" he made. Issa doesn't care, and Frieda's Clueless White Person rambling doesn't help. They arrive to the after school program to find it full of students. Gaines hooked them up with kids. Issa is thrilled but Frieda is concerned about the lack of latino students.

Molly is riding an escalator somewhere. Where ya going, Molly? Ooooh... eeeee... she's making the bold but fairly ill considered decision to try to rub elbows with the boys club in the box seats for a hockey game.

I don't begrudge Molly attempting to shoot her shot, but there have got to be more... shall we say organic ways for her to attempt it. We look like assholes popping up in entirely the wrong context like this. Now I'm having a flashback to an ill advised friendship with an overweight white woman who, time would reveal, primarily wanted to use me to get an in into black spaces where she could meet black men. But never fear, her black female friends were just as corny and thirsty: her black counterpart was this overweight chick who went out of her way to assure all of us how much she loved hockey and when she talked about basketball she made sure to only talk about the two or three white players on our home team. The thirst was real and it went in both directions, and that is tonight's anecdote on why I make very little effort to make female friends as an adult.

Back at the Dunes, Issa cannot resist the allure of her phone, holding the secrets as it does to Tasha's insta. Of course she eventually caves and we are treated to this snap filtered gem:

Doing the most. But followed up by this:

Loving the wig. Issa throws the phone down pretending she doesn't care, going back to her book.

Back at the hockey game, Molly's attempts to bond with middle aged white men is typically embarrassing. They're drinking shitty beer, Stella Artois as far as I can tell? Molly takes a moment then decides to shoot her shot, socially approaching her boss. He's wearing a ridiculous suit. They make small talk about lobster rolls, but Molly misses the timbre of the humor and her "women are clueless about sports" bit doesn't quite land. Which I'm going to go ahead and chalk up to a racial barrier because let's just admit it. It's not believable to pretend a black woman gives a fuck about hockey. I have sat around with white dudes and tried to watch hockey games. That shit is boring. They score once every fifteen minutes. Let us submit a blanket moratorium on black women appeasing whites by pretending to like hockey.

The next morning at work, Molly tries to maintain cordial commentary with her boss but it's awkward and they both wish it had never happened. She walks away from the break room while her boss and a random white man look awkwardly after her before going back to their conversation.

Hey. Don't you fucking hate that we have to do this shit?

Chad's. Lawrence is on his air mattress, looking pensive. Dune's. Issa is on her mac still stalking. She has progressed to facebook. Then she swaps to Twitter. Then she swaps to the LinkedIn. I have amazing internet stalking skills. I once found posts from a message board someone posted on anonymously in high school. I knew an ex of mine had gotten married like six months after I dumped him and I wanted to know who the wife was - that took licensed private investigator levels of digging because he had zero online footprint and a super generic name. I once found someone's professional license, which listed their contact number, saved the number to my phone, and used it to find their instagram page. Fuck with me dog. No one has shit on my internet stalking game. I'm not crazy just nosy as fuck.

Letsmovealong... Tasha's social media is meant, I'm thinking, to paint her as slightly basic. She has Beyonce quotes in the Beyonce font, she's wearing an uncomfortable suit in her linkedin pic. She takes pics eating jalepeno poppers in ecstasy. And, to be fair, I think that's the characterization we are meant to take away from Tasha. She isn't quirky like Issa. She's just "regular black." And I know that's a thing that people have had negative reactions to, so I don't mind telling you I aggressively defend "regular black." I live on the northside of my city, which is white neighborhoods. Every man I date has no less than a college degree and often a graduate or professional degree, as, having one myself, this only makes sense for finding someone with compatible values. So my ability to occupy a quirky, upwardly mobile black space must take responsibility for blackness as a whole, in the sense that it would be shameful for me to shun "regular blackness." Whenever I'm wearing curly 30 inch remy in my sew in and I meet randoms who ALWAYS ask me whether I'm latina I make SURE to put them in their place. Asking me whether I'm mixed. That's not a compliment, y'all. Don't be on the okcupids and the tinders talking about you're "other" race. I used to block men on sight with bedebees talking about some "Mixed race, other." Don't side with the oppressors. Don't shun regular blackness. (I have seen many, many black people do this, both male and female, and it is incredibly disheartening and disappointing. It's not just men. Women do it too. All of y'all need to stop.)

Issa realizes that Tasha works at the bank Lawrence goes to. So the next morning she takes it upon herself to take a visit, taking note of the Best Buy right next door. Issa goes inside and gets in Tasha's line. "I'd like to make a deposit," she says, and then cold-cocks Tasha. This, of course, is yet another fantasy.

But in real life, Molly is having a cup of espresso on some campus somewhere. Lawrence spots her and decides he's not petty enough to not say hi. I'm loving the linen denim blue button up, less endeared by the flat hipster leather backpack, but I don't mind the attempt. They hug with Molly surprised to see him - she was there for some meeting or other. Lawrence says it's "Meridian" which I know as a health insurer, but probably means something different as it's where he works. Molly's wear a midi dress and heels which... I remember those cut out shoulder cut out things from a time far far in the past, guys.

They make small talk about Lawrence's new job and how they're both "good." Lawrence makes to walk away but Molly, steeling herself, calls him back. She wants to talk about Issa, who she tells him is "still torn up." "And?" Lawrence says, rudely. Yeah, Lawrence has no concept of the fact that their relationship was garbage. Maybe it wasn't always, but where they were when we met them, their relationship was trash.

Molly champions Issa and asks whether he hates her. He says he doesn't, so Molly asks if he'd ever take her back. We don't get to see Lawrence's response as we swap to Issa in her car. She's still outside of the bank when Tasha walks past, talking to a friend. Issa drops the recline on her seat all the way back to hide. Molly calls at this moment, walking away from her conversation with Lawrence and carrying a fabulous pale tan attache case. She makes it clear to us that she was only there as a plant, to run into Lawrence so she could ask him about Issa. This is the new age adult version of the secret three way call.

Issa asks what Lawrence said about her. Molly apologizes, and breaks the bad news that Lawrence says he's done. He ended up taking the new apartment, so he's not coming back. Issa digests this in silence. Molly offers to come by but Issa tells her she's fine. She reclines in her car a bit longer into an annoying security guard comes by and tells her she can't sleep there.

Nighttime. Molly's still at work, skyping with Hannah, the lawyer who recently transferred to the Chicago office. They're both working late. My ambitions and skillset and also personal passions would seem to dictate that I should have been a lawyer. But even when I was much younger and just starting to think about what I wanted my life to look like, I never wanted to give more of a fuck about work than anything else in my life. Like, this being at the office at nighttime shit? No thank you. ....I kinda regret that now. You know? Maybe in the go-go 90s I took the trope of the serious businesswoman who doesn't have time for a man and a life and a family too seriously. I don't know.

Molly makes professional good with Hannah, offering to help with her workload - and this is kind of what I mean - in kind of like "I'm a workhorse, use me." Hannah is touched by the offer, and agrees to throw some work Molly's way, perhaps recognizing the ploy Molly is extending. So that one, at least, went over well.

Somewhere in LA. While Molly's in her office, Lawrence has stopped by Tasha's house. She comes out to meet him where he is waiting by his car. She's wearing ripped jeans and very clunky sneakers. When Lawrence says hi, she regards him coldly. He launches into an apology, telling Tasha she didn't deserve that. Tasha, still playing "cool girl" who doesn't make a big deal about the fucked up shit you're dealing, plays understanding, that she gets why he was still messing with his ex. She knows their relationship wasn't exclusive.

She's giving him an out. But Lawrence muddies this by saying his thing with Issa was over. Tasha tried to let him keep things casual, but his response signals that casual behavior isn't ok while they are seeing each other. Recognizing this, Tasha makes an excuse for why she has to go back inside.

But, at the last minute she just can't help it, and caves, asking him whether or not he wants to come in for dinner. Lawrence, who was walking away, stops and takes her up on it. Damnit, Tasha. You almost made it.

Dunes. Issa, in her hairscarf and tshirt again (this has been a dry week for Issa right?) is putting away her laundry. She is suddenly annoyed about hanging all of her clothes on one side of the closet. Lawrence's shit is gone. She angrily shelves her shit on the opposite side, and, in bed, pulls her pillow in the middle, grappling with the reality that Lawrence is really not coming back.

Swiper more swiping helps blunt some of the pain as Issa pulls up Tinder again, trying, still trying.

#insecure hbo #issa rae #hella questions

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arlessiar · 7 years

Text

Eleven questions

I’m incredibly late with answering this, but it took me a while and then the whole Kingsman SDCC thing happened in-between. So no idea if people are still interested in this, but now that I’ve written it I also want to post it. :)

I was tagged by @notbrogues @hartwin-af and @spockri

rules: 1. always post the rules. 2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 (or however many) people to answer them.

Questions by @notbrogues

1. Describe your least favourite character.

In general, the pointless love interests, the boring villains, the almighty and flawless heroes, the dumb and helpless females

(And just in case, the opposite – my favourite characters are the caring doctors, the smart geeks, and the loners, misfits and underdogs *g*)

2. A go-to comfort meal/snack/treat.

When my Mum crumbs meat or veggies to fry them she always makes a small fried bread/omelette from the rest of the eggs and breadcrumbs. She adds salt, pepper and some cheese. It’s an old Silesian tradition, my Gran always did that and we still do it today. It means home and comfort for me and I love it and I’ll defend it from every other hungry person in the house. It’s mine. My precious. Me eats it alone! *eg*

Apart from that – Avocado. Chickpeas. White chocolate. Chocolate digestives.

3. Describe a perfect vacation, with no limit on funds or how long you can stay there.

I go there quite often, but still, London. It’s been my happy place for years. And from there I’d go to Cornwall, to the Lake District, the Brecon Beacons and the Highlands. With unlimited funds I’d take my parents with me or my BFF, and we’d spend lots of time visiting all the manors and country houses!

4. Do you listen to podcasts? If so, what are you favourites?

Listened to the Three Patch Podcast in the Sherlock fandom, but only a few times. Not really my thing in general.

5. One widely accepted fanon headcanon that you just don’t agree with?

Hmm, I like most of the fanon and can live with the rest. Not so keen on Percival being Roxy’s Dad. Distantly related, yes, but I can’t imagine him as her father.

6. One story/movie/song/album/piece of art that resonated with you and that you will never be able to forget?

There’s so much I could write here, but I have to make a decision, so:

Stories, movies – too many to count!

Song and album – R.E.M., Automatic for the people, “Everybody hurts”. My fav forever band, and that song saved my life during a very low phase I went through in my teens. Oh, and Jeff Buckley’s version of Cohen’s “Hallelujah”. Listening to that for the first time was a revelation.

Piece of art: My favourite picture is Caspar David Friedrich’s Wanderer above the sea of fog. I could stare at it for hours. Also, seeing Van Gogh’s Sunflowers for real in the National Gallery had blown my mind and I’ll go to look at it every time I’m in London.

When I was a teen there was an exhibition in my city with photographs from Nan Goldin. Our art teacher took us there and most of my classmates weren’t prepared for this rather explicit art. For me though a gate had opened, I finally understood the art of photography, and it’s been a passion of mine ever since.

7. If you have a day off, no responsibilities or pressing matters to attend to: what are you doing for the rest of the day?

Three words – Lego, AO3 and tumblr.

8. Favourite past trend that you are most nostalgic for?

I honestly never really followed trends a lot, so I’ve no idea what to say here. ^^ What I really really miss is the way they made computer games in the Nineties. Give me a good old fashioned Adventure with tricky puzzles and I’m happy.

9. What’s a hobby/skill you’ve always wanted to learn?

Playing the harp or the violin. And archery. Might still try the latter one day.

10. Where do you see yourself in ten years?

So sorry, but I have to skip this one... I don’t dream much anymore. The only thing I can say is: Hopefully still surrounded by the people who I love more than my own life.

11. What was your first fandom? First OTP? First NOTP? Any memorable experiences from those early days?

My first fandom was Star Trek, around 1991. I always blame my Dad for me becoming a geek because it was him who told me to watch TOS. :) Wrote my first story in a notebook when I was twelve, no OTP though then, it was rather Mary Sue-ish. ^^ Then we got our first computer, and I had moved on to DS9. More stories, now on computer, still no OTP but lots of h/c. Then we got internet in 1996, and I was having some sort of epiphany – there was this world-wide phenomenon called fanfiction! I was not alone! An amazing discovery! Saw my first slashfic at that time, Garak/Bashir, and I was 16 and all like ‘ewww’ and backed away from it (so that was probably my first NOTP).

Being a Tolkien fan for years I easily fell for the LOTR films later and wrote FF for that and published my first stories. Arwen/Aragorn was my first fandom OTP I guess. Saw more slashfic, Legolas/Aragorn, and I was still not convinced, but I read one. While I never shipped that pairing, slashfic in general suddenly started to look appealing. Well, and today I say “all I’ve learnt about sex, I’ve learnt from fanfic”, because those years were really educational… ;)

Next fandom was Stargate Atlantis (OTP McShep), my online fan-life started in earnest then with the Gateworld forum and LJ, then Torchwood (OTP Ianto/Jack), then Sherlock (OTP Johnlock). And here I am now, in the Kingsman fandom, with Hartwin and Merhartwin being my OTPs.

Now @hartwin-af

1. Who are your favourite artists/actors/fictional characters?

I admire Viggo Mortensen both as an actor and as an artist. And Colin Firth has been one of my favourite actors for many years. Closely followed by Chris Pine and Matt Damon. I also think Meryl Streep is a goddess.

Fav fictional characters: Aragorn, Sherlock, Mr Darcy and tons of others, among them right now Harry Hart :)

2. What are your favourite tv shows/movies?

Fav TV shows from the past: Star Trek DS9, Torchwood, MASH, SGA, Sherlock, Flying Doctors, Diagnosis Murder, Queer as folk

Recent TV shows: Agents of shield, Poldark, The Handmaid’s tale

3. What/Who do you fear?

Dying alone

4. What are you looking forward to the most?

At the moment my summer holiday and Kingsman 2.

5. What’s your biggest pet peeve?

The acceptance of ignorance you see nowadays. It’s ok to lack knowledge, but one shouldn’t be proud of it. It’s no badge of honour to boast about. There’s something you don’t know – go and look it up.

6. If you could make one thing canon in your fandom, what would it be?

DAISY UNWIN

7. Do you hoard usernames?

Nope. In fact I’m known for having the same username for decades and almost everywhere…

8. Coke or Pepsi? Tea or Coffee? KFC or McDonald’s?

If at all, Coke. Coffee, with tea being a close second. McDonald’s, but rather Burger King!

9. What would make today better?

Less humidity. Apart from that it’s been a pretty fine day. :)

10. What’s your favourite scent?

Privet when it’s in bloom.

11. What’s your proudest achievement?

Finishing my university degree (MA)

And @spockri

1) Are you a morning person or a night owl?

100% night owl

2) What is your OTP (and you can only pick 1!) and why?

Currently Hartwin. It just… happened. Love the fact that they’re so different and yet so similar, and that there’s tons of chemistry between them.

3) What is your favorite thing about Colin Firth?

His smile. Absolutely.

4) What’s your favorite book and how would you recommend it to someone who’s never heard of it?

That is in fact Atwood’s “The handmaid’s tale” and has been for years. I would recommend it as a book that’s become scarily relevant again in the light of the current political situation in the US.

5) Where is your favorite place to read?

Used to be my bed, but the older I get, the less comfortable it becomes. So today it’s my desk chair. And Parliament Hill when I’m in London.

6) What was your last impulse buy?

Clothes. I have way too many clothes… send help! Or Livia Firth, so that she can rip me a new one. Or Colin so that he can rip my clothes off… ok, wait, I need to stop.

7) What is/was your favorite subject in school?

That was English and Art

8) Are you an introvert or extrovert?

Introvert, INFJ. And an HSP.

9) Do you have any trips/vacations planned this year?

Most likely London again in August, and a short trip within Germany to visit two wonderful friends in October

10) What would you do if you saw Colin Firth walking on the other side of the street from you?

In my dreams I’d work up the courage to walk over to him and smile and say hello and ask politely for an autograph… depends on the situation though. So in reality I’d most likely try not to bother him to respect his privacy and just stare at him from afar… while silently hyperventilating

11) I probably know you because we’re both into Kingsman, so when did you first watch Kingsman and what drew you to it?

When it came out I saw many posts about it on my tumblr dash and had no idea what it’s about. Thought it must be a big thing though and decided to watch it one day, but ignored it then on tumblr in order not to spoiler myself accidentally. It was on my list for a while and I finally bought the DVD in November 2016. Watched it with my parents. Was hooked in a second. This rarely happens to me, but I liked that the movie didn’t take itself overly serious but was still believable, and that the story had no loose ends. Also, suits and Savile Row (love a man in a good suit), and Colin Firth. Sold. The rest is history.

- - - - -

Now, eleven questions from me, just in case anyone still wants to do this and isn’t sick of this meme already. :)

1) What did you want to become as a child, and what did you become?

2) If you were allowed to dress your favourite actor however you’d like, who would it be and what would she/he look like afterwards?

3) Did you ever cry while reading a book or watching a film, and if yes, when was the last time that happened and why?

4) What is your favourite piece of jewellery that you own?

5) If you could invent and play any kind of yet non-existent role in an existent movie, who would you like to be?

6) You have to share a room with a Kingsman character for one night. Who will it be and why?

7) Did you have a comfort toy as a child and if yes, what happened to it?

8) What is the colour/design of your bedclothes?

9) What was your happiest fandom moment so far?

10) The last film you saw in the cinema

11) You invite your favourite fictional character for dinner and you’re having pizza. They say it’s your choice – what kind of pizza would you order for them?

You all probably did that already, I’m sorry!!

@agentdagonet @ripgalahad @jeherion @jesspaw @londongypsy @letmecomealong @galahadthelate @solarrift @lady-mephistopheles @fideliant @deepdarkwaters

#meme #eleven questions #arlessiar's replies

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randomwoohoo · 6 years

Link

Judy: Previously on Zoomorphia

Nick: Carrots and I as Hybrid taught the silver wolf, named Bolt or whatever, a lesson. One punch beat him~ Easy-peasy~

Clawhauser: Wow! That’s what really happened!

Judy: No. It’s actually the opposite… His speed overwhelmed us… He even abducted the robbers. I’m not sure what he gonna do with them but… it probably won’t end well...

Nick: Don’t feel so bad about it. Those four mammals were criminals after all.

Judy: They should be brought to justice… not killed as someone pleases.

Clawhauser: Ahh… Don’t stress, you two. Anyway, you guys did a great job, taking care of the squirrel Savage and saving mammals.

Judy: Yeah, we did…

Nick: Aww, look at that smile~

Judy: I-I’m not smiling!

Nick: You so cute when you smile~

Judy: Don’t call me cute!!

Clawhauser: Teehee~ Now the Chapter 12~

.-.. . - .----. ... / -.-. --- -. - .. -. ..- .

Fanfiction.net

A recorded video clip showed Hybrid Archer form taking a stance on a table, aiming a bow before launching a glowing gladius sword like an arrow. A camera phone hastily turned to record image of a purple squirrel monster stabbed to the Bug-Burga restaurant’s window.

“Not bad~” An alaskan tundra wolf in a groovy black leather jacket, Bolt, stroked his chin while he was watching the clip on his smartphone, sitting on an oversized couch inside a motorhome.

“Bah!” A slender black wildcat with white paws, eyebrows and muzzle used a giant paper fan to slap Bolt’s head. “You crossed the line. What would you do if they discard their drivers?” She was dressed in white shirt, pullover bra top and black capri pants.

“But what if he made them keep their noses out of our business? Wouldn’t our job go smoothly?” A plump tan lemming, wearing the same style jacket as Bolt, lounged on the table.

“I know, right?” Bolt asserted.

“Don’t overindulge him!” The wildcat rebuked the lemming.

“Why are you wasting time watching that video anyway? You were there yesterday, weren’t you?” Ignoring her, the lemming queried.

“Well~ I have nothing else to do.” Bolt leaned against couch backrest.

“Go out to do your job then!” She scolded him, slapping him with the paper fan once more.

- .... . -.-- / .- .-. . / .-- .- - -.-. .... .. -. --.

At early night, in ZPD lobby, Clawhauser was listening a song, Try everything acoustic version, recently released on Gazelle’s official Zootube channel. Generally, this song gives a good cheering-up vibe. Even so, this version, for some reasons,was oddly sorrowful. It was not surprising once he remembered how she was the last time she visited ZPD.

He was waiting for a certain someone…

Eventually, that certain someone appeared. Chief Bogo came downstairs and traipsed across the lobby towards the front door.

“Chief Bogo!” Clawhauser called his superior cheerily from behind the reception desk.

“What’s urgency?” Bogo went closer to Clawhauser sternly.

“Umm… No. But-” The chubby cheetah just wanted to have a chat with the cape buffalo. He thought that it would be great to talk about her latest song because they both are fans of Gazelle the famous Zootopian pop star.

“If there’s nothing urgent, leave a note in my office.” Bogo yawned tiredly. “I’m out. Bye.” He left the station.

Clawhauser was left alone, his smile fading away… He opened a picture on his phone gallery. It is the selfie of him and Bogo at Gazelle’s concert.

Not only Chief but everyone else has been busy lately. They all are facing problems. He reasoned with himself in order to push negative emotions aside. “I have to do something.” He told himself resolutely.

.... ..- .-. - / -.. .. ... - .- -. -.-. .

A red fox in a light green hawaiian shirt and red-and-blue striped dark indigo tie gave a sigh of contentment. “Tod bless day-off~” He sat sipping coffee at a table near cafe’s window. The morning sun shed light on the right half side of him and the left side of the short-sleeved teal t-shirted gray rabbit sitting facing the fox.

“Hey Nick”

“Hmm?” Nick the red fox put a mug down, looking at his bunny friend in pleasure, feeling delighted that she was doing better and he had free time to spend with her.

“Do you think that Bolt guy is responsible for mammals going missing?” Judy the European rabbit drank a soy milk latte.

After getting better, she returned to focus on works. At that time, she was speculating that the wolf who abducted the robbers might have something to do with the missing mammal cases.

“I think not.” Nick took another sip, pointing at a flat screen television mounted on the wall. Therefore, Judy turned her attention to the TV.

ZNN was reporting the news about the dead bodies found in river in Rainforest district. A female snow leopard news anchor reported that the dead bodies belonged to the absconding criminals charged with bank robbery crime. The pictures of mammals when they were alive were shown. The duo recognized them right away. They were those whom Bolt kidnapped.

In another word, the mammals Bolt abducted did not go missing. It was less likely that he was behind the cases.

“So, that’s out of the question, huh?” Judy faced away from TV, gazing at heart shape latte art a bit distorted.

The news reporting continued. It was assumed that the robbers died from drowning. That said, Nick and Judy had different opinion… those robbers in all probability were killed by Bolt because the duo saw him killed one of them with their own eyes, or not really since Nick’s real eyes were shut back then. It was just they were united as Hybrid at that time.

Still and all, the two did not have any proves.

Nick turned his head away, looking out the window. A few moments later, a round cheetah walking past in front of the cafe caught Nick’s eye.

“Carrots” He poked Judy gently, still looking outside, so he accidentally poked her forehead.

“Wha-What!?” Judy was startled by her fox buddy. She saw him pointing to outside the cafe.

“Is that Clawhauser?”

She immediately turned her face to the same direction that he was pointing when he mentioned their big feline friend. There was an overweight spotted yellow cheetah in a blue police uniform walking on the street. The duo cannot mistake someone else for him. It really was Clawhauser.

Doubting why he was outside the station during working hours, Nick and Judy left the cafe to chase the police cheetah furtively. They followed him to a passage behind buildings, peeking around the corner.

Clawhauser scouted around cautiously, looking high and low. He came to a halt when he noticed a shadow resembling a rat with a huge turtle shell on its back. The moment that shadow moved, the cheetah unintentionally cried out in horror.

“What the what!?” An alarmed brown rat, owner of the shadow, carrying a large backpack on his back, scampered in circles.

“S-Sorry! False alarm...” Clawhauser was embarrassed by his misunderstanding.

The rat slowed down. “Jeez, don’t scare me, big guy.” He walked away as the cheetah was forcing a wry smile.

“Benjamin” Thinking that peeking from a distance would not get them anywhere, Judy approached Clawhauser with an intention to directly ask him what he was doing. Nick then followed her close behind.

The surprised cheetah was not prepared to bump into the pair, “I-I-It’s not like what you think! I’m not investigating Savages or anything!” blurting out.

The duo became speechless for a moment. “We haven’t asked you anything yet…” Judy stated.

“I don’t suspect you… or at least haven’t until now...” Nick said. The idea of Clawhauser investigating the monster Savages would not come in their heads unless he mentioned it himself.

“I mean- I-I-I-” Clawhauser acted uncomfortable, stammering while trying to make an excuse.

“You owe us an explanation. Let’s find a place to sit down and talk.” Judy suggested.

“By the way, Carrots, have we paid for our coffee at that cafe yet?”

“Oh, sweet cheese! It totally slipped my mind!”

“That being said, let’s head back to the cafe then.” Nick decided.

The duo returned to the same cafe at once, taking Clawhauser with them. Fortunately, cafe’s staffs knew both Nick and Judy as police officers; thus, they supposed that an emergency came up, which must be a reason why they left in a hurry despite not paying the bill.

Two of them could only laugh off. Following that, they asked the staffs for a larger table which can seat a bigger mammal like Clawhauser with them (the partners sitting together on the same side) and ordered more drinks, one for Clawhauser and other two to diminish Judy’s guilt of almost dine and dash.

Although the fox told his bunny partner “You can order just a glass of water for me.”, she “Just take it” still insisted.

After the drinks were served,without further ado, Nick and Judy questioned Clawhauser such as a reason behind his investigation.

He briefly hesitated before he gave an answer. “There is discussion on internet about Savages’ suspicious behavior.”

“Suspicious?” Said the duo in unison.

“They normally are all over Zootopia, yet some of them sorta have a pattern of hunting at lunch or dinner time in commercial areas. Besides, they sometimes appeared in places nearby where the missing mammals were last seen. For these reasons, I decided to investigate.” He informed.

“No offense but you really sound like those conspiracy theorists.” Nick commented.

“In any case, as of lately, we have encountered few suspiciously strange Savages.” Judy, lowering her head while crossing her arms, added.

“Eh? I’ve not heard about it before!” Clawhauser wondered what kind of Savages she was talking about.

“How do I put this?” Nick thought of explanation. “It seems one Savage we fought had somewhat fight strategy, not fighting with pure instinct. There were those which didn’t randomly attack mammals like normal Savages. For an instance, the bear Savage during bank robbery in Savanna Central ignored the robbers at first.”

“Are you referring to the one that the silver chrome wolf helped you two defeat?” Clawhauser seized a chance to mention Bolt.

“Yeah, that guy.” Nick frowned faintly, frustrated when he recalled how much his partner was depressed by the wolf.

After a topic about Bolt the silver chrome wolf was brought up, Judy puzzled over why the robbers’ dead bodies were dropped in Rainforest district even though Bolt captured them elsewhere. Come to think of it, Nick and she used to meet the wolf in this lush green district once.

“Nick, Benjamin, mind accompanying me?”

“To where?” The cheetah tilted his head, chubby cheeks jiggling.

-.. .- -.-- / --- ..-. ..-. / --- -. / -.. ..- - -.--

In the afternoon, inside one of the Rainforest district warehouses, amid piles of crates, a polo-shirted female yellow-bellied marmot was lolling on the edge of a covered sizable rectangular prism object opposite a buck-toothed gray jack donkey accompanied by an elephant who was the tallest among them three despite being a minor.

“Where is it?” The donkey raised his voice.

“Take it easy, man. How about a pep talk?” The marmot replied.

“Cut the cra-” He retorted.

“Easy~ Easy~” She interjected, hopping down and removing a covering. “Tada!”

It was revealed that the mysterious rectangular prism object under a covering happened to be a cage with a sleeping maned purple lion.

“Do you think you can fool me with a napping naked dyed lion?” He raged at the marmot.

She did not waste time talking but rather demonstrated, plugging her right ear. “Rise and shine~”

The purple lion open its glowing eyes. It began to drool, then sat up.

The donkey and the elephant got chilled by the presence of the caged animal in front of them. It gave an unpleasant sensation, which proved its identity, a Savage. More surprisingly, the male donkey was impressed by how obedient this monster was.

“Why don’t you give it a shot?” The marmot handed the donkey an earpiece size of which was fitting for him.

He reluctantly accepted it. Once he inserted it in his right ear, he tried giving a command. “Get up”

The lion Savage stood up. Subsequently, he gave another command “Speak”. It roared, petrifying the elephant, as it was commanded. Hence, the donkey grinned, pleased with what he saw.

Perceiving that the customer was satisfied, the marmot rubbed her thumb over the tip of her index finger and middle finger repeatedly, making money sign hand gesture.

The sulking donkey drew his phone up, tapping a screen couples of times before showing the screen to the dealer. “Done” It was shown that he had transferred the large amount of money to a certain account.

“It’s a pleasure to do business with you~” The marmot stepped away from the cage, implying the lion monster had officially belonged to the donkey since the moment the money transfer was made.

“Go get that cage!” The donkey ordered the minor standing next to him.

The fearful young elephant, tensing up, did not dare come nearer the monster.

“Quit dawdling! Wanna go back to be an orphan!?” He shouted at the elephant.

Intimidated, the minor consequently dashed to the cage.

In that instant, a silver flash plunged to the ground not far from other mammals, startling them. They turned their attention towards the exact same spot to get a good look. There was a kneeling silver chrome wolf with a reflective black bar over the eyes, two black thunderbolt stripes paralleling each other on abdomen, solar panels on chest and shoulders, Bolt.

“Get lost, kid” Bolt rose gradually to his feet. Other mammals were baffled by the wolf’s presence.

“I said get lost, boy” He raised both paws, electric sparks coming out of them.

The elephant got filled with terror, skedaddling from the warehouse, unwittingly bumping into one pile of crates along the way.

When the elephant minor was gone, “Dogdang, I can’t stand what you did, bub.” Bolt, right fist bopping left palm over and over, advanced towards the donkey.

Simultaneously, the marmot sneaked closer to the Savage. Seeing that she unlocked the cage, the donkey smiled broadly.

“What are you smiling for? You’re creeping me-”

“Attack!” The donkey interrupted the wolf. Suddenly, the lion Savage broke free from the cage and charged at the silver wolf.

He dodged narrowly, then pounced on the monster, wrapping his arms around its neck to strangle it. Unfortunately, it was not so effective because he did not possess enough strength. The Savage struggled, shaking and hurtling in order to throw the wolf off. However, he refused to let go, thereby being dragged along.

A few minutes earlier, Nick and Judy, still dressed in civilian clothing, together with Clawhauser in police uniform were investigating less crowded areas of Rainforest District such as a warehouse zone. Without warning, they heard a loud noise coming from one warehouse. It was a feral roar which the lion Savage let out when it was ordered.

Judy asked Clawhauser to take care of Nick as she was heading to the warehouse where the roar came from. Nick, jumping into Clawhauser’s arms, spoke up that the chubby cheetah’s arms were softer and comfier than the bunny’s to tease her. She grumbled before she yelled “Just transform already!”. Clawhauser wondered that an impression Judy was giving could be jealousy...

Fortunately, there was no one else in the area, so they transformed into Hybrid without any concerns. After considering various factors, they “FORM SHIFT-ARCHER” turned into Hybrid Archer form. They thought that Hybrid was not supposed to simply set foot in the battlefield through the front door, therefore planning to climb to the roof and ambush the target from the high ground. In that case, Archer form which moves quietest among three forms was the most suitable for this plan.

In spite of that, the warehouse’s door burst open, followed by the young elephant exiting in a headlong rush, completely disregarding Hybrid. Since the door had already opened, Hybrid sped furtively into the warehouse.

The green leather tuniced armored rabbit with fox features climbed to the top of a stack of crates to observe overall situation, Bolt threatening the donkey while the marmot creeping to the cage of the lion Savage. Nick and Judy viewed preventing Bolt from harming other mammals as a priority.

Even so, before they made any moves, the marmot stunned them by unlocking the cage. Even more surprising, the Savage followed the donkey’s command. These two mammals were evidently suspicious.

Bolt tried his best to cling to the neck of lion Savage running amok into many piles, leading to them falling and scattering here and there. The marmot used this opportunity during disorder to escape.

Previous to she making an escape, Hybrid “ACTIVATE” summoned a bow and created a tracking arrow from the right wrist, then shot it at her, the arrowhead stuck on her shirt without her knowing it.

After the marmot slipped through the door, “Hybrid! I know you’re there! Help me stop this kitty!!” Bolt surprised the duo. They did not expect that Bolt would be aware of Hybrid’s presence early on.

Despite their dislike towards the silver wolf, they indeed had to bring the feline monster to a stop because it was their responsibility. On that account, they cast their personal stuff aside and twisted MidniDriver’s handle forth twice “FORM SHIFT-HUSTLER” to change back to Hustler form.

Hybrid leaped across the field to block the Savage’s way in one jump. Pressing the syringe, “ACTIVATE” they used super strength to push it, bringing it to a halt.

The second that the monster came to a halt, Bolt, hugging the lion firmly, stabbed the tip of his knifepaw into the back of its neck. It writhed in pain but this time, the wolf finally released his hold on it. It appeared that he lost one of his nails in the monster’s wound.

“I’m counting on you, Mittens.” He whispered.

Everything happened so fast that “Hybrid’s really here!” the donkey had just realized that the armored mammal hero appeared in the flesh. “But whatever… Get them!” He commanded the Savage.

However, it did not attack Hybrid and bolt as he wanted. It merely stood still after being pricked in the neck by the wolf.

While the donkey was feeling perplexed that why he lost control of the lion Savage, Bolt neared the donkey prior to clutching his shirt collar.

“You are unforgivable.” The silver wolf lifted the donkey slightly, making him tiptoeing and trembling.

“Back off from him.” Nick in Hybrid warned Bolt while Judy was directing the body to move towards him.

“...O.K.” Bolt unexpectedly agreed to loosen his grip from the donkey easily. Everyone grew relieved a bit but he then bent down and punched the donkey. “Oops~ Negligent discharge~”

The donkey fell prone before Hybrid’s eyes. The duo instantly knew his faith.

The rage exceeding the fear to face the wolf again, Judy was ready to go head to head with him. Nonetheless, she could not proceed. It turned out that Nick was holding the body back.

“Carrots, look! That Savage hasn’t vaporized yet!”

She was shocked when Nick pointed out. The purple lion only maintained upright on four feet, not moving a muscle. Suddenly, it, roaring, went berserk.

The united duo wondered what was going on, but not for long, “A side effect of jamming control signal may be kicking in.” Bolt said something that piqued their curiosity.

Even though they wanted him to clarify, they had to wait until later because the Savage careered in a direction to the door. Both of them as Hybrid must defeat the berserk monster.

“Not so fast~” Bolt obstructed Hybrid’s path.

“Outa’ mah way!” Judy sprang, protracting claws and thrusting the paw to Bolt.

“Accel” Bolt sidestepped to avoid a blow, then palm struck Hybrid’s flank.

The armored mammal was sent to land on the ground. Just as the duo predicted, the strike did not hurt much, still, falling to the knees, they felt the body turned numb, which must be a result of electricity Bolt used during attack.

“I can’t let you remove that Savage … The program is being installed. So, be good kits~” Bolt said one more confusing thing; notwithstanding, it was obvious that he did not intend to allow them to eliminate the lion monster.

“Like heck we can just let it go!” Judy bawled.

“What if it attacks civilians?” Nick, taking charge of Hybrid’s vocal cord, softened the tone.

“Not my problem~” Bolt responded to Nick’s question simply, outraging Judy greatly. He turned his face to look at the purple lion charging out the warehouse’s door. “Track down that lion.” It seemed like he talked to himself. “Pretty please~”

Seeing that the monster was fleeing, and moreover, the silver wolf was being distracted, the duo decided to chase it.

After opening and closing the paws to verify that the body had recovered, Hybrid pressed the syringe “ACTIVATE” to use enhanced speed. In no time, the united duo ran so blistering that the armored mammal appeared like a red blur.

When Hybrid was passing Bolt, “Double accel!” he gyrated to catch the smaller animal, snatching the spiky yet fluffy fox tail. Hybrid was restrained from moving forward by him hauling the red tail, which “Don’t touch my tail!” upset Nick a lot. He hit the syringe “ACTIVATE”, tail spikes pointing outward, with a thought that sharp spikes would force the wolf to relinquish his tight grasp and fall back. Furthermore, he had his speed that enabled him to dodge.

All the same, still holding firm, he did not let Hybrid go. As a result, the silver wolf got stabbed by many spikes. Hybrid inadvertently pierced quite a number of holes in his body, glancing him with terror of killing mammals.

Out of the blue, Bolt swung Hybrid in spite of being spiked. The armored mammal was thrown away forcefully, tail spikes shortening and turning back to fur, to crash against the crates.

“Bolt! Do you copy!?” The wildcat on the other side of some sort of wireless communications asked. Apparently, only the silver wolf could hear.

“Loud and clear~ Awe! My beautiful shiny body... What a bummer.” Bolt complained.

“Retreat!” She instructed.

“I’m not done playing with them yet~ And what about the lion?”

“Forget about them! You have received damages in many parts. Besides, I’ve already taken care of that Savage! Rhino will pick it up. Now, get your butt over here!”

“Ro~gers~” Eventually agreeing to retreat, Bolt approached Hybrid lying on pieces of broken wooden crates. “This should buy us some time.” He stooped and pulled MidniDriver’s syringe, forcing Hybrid to detransform “Ciao~” previous to vanishing into thin air.

The doe rabbit, being left alone in the warehouse with one soulless donkey, could not help but feel numb everywhere like the body was electroshocked.

“Judy!”

She heard Clawhauser and Nick calling her name from outside, At least, they’re safe. thinking to herself while staring at a dreary ceiling.

.-- .... . .-. . / .. ... / ... .. .-.. ...- . .-. / .-.. .. -. .. -. --.

The young elephant was sitting on sidewalk in Rainforest District, hugging his knees in the midst of hazy atmosphere.

“Why the long face?” A male voice said.

He felt sorrowful to the point that he was not aware of an incoming mammal until the mammal arrived at his feet.

“I have nowhere to go...” He avoided looking at the other mammal in front of him.

“Where are your parents?”

The elephant’s eyes watered when the word ‘parents’ was uttered. He buried his face in his arms later.

“It’s all right.” The mammal stretched his right tan paw out to the minor.

The young elephant raised his head. He subsequently saw a blue-eyed brown St Bernard dog.

“Come with me” The St Bernard dog invited him softly.

- --- / -... . / -.-. --- -. - .. -. ..- . -..

#zootopia #zootopia fanfiction #zoomorphia #zootopia tokusatsu au

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insecure-hbo-the-recaps · 7 years

Text

hella questions

Previously on Insecure: A bunch of bad dates, missing Lawrence, trifling Lawrence, failed “get my ex back” party, Molly is way underpaid. And two minutes of ex sex.

“Y'all fucked?” is the incredulity that welcomes us to the second episode of the season. I can’t decide if I love or hate that Issa has one of those old school ugly wooden entertainment center things that I’m sure we ALL had growing up.

Issa is also wearing a hoodie with Harriet Tubman on it… though I can’t figure out what the two pictures on her wall are. Molly wants to know who initiated the sex and whether they’ve spoken since. They aren’t really in any better place, and Molly doesn’t find this encouraging. Issa is grasping at straws. Molly asks whether it was a getting back together fuck or a “fuck you” fuck. Hmmm. As someone who recently had sex with her ex that she’s still in love with… it was definitely neither lol. It was… well, actually, it was a “I put up this picture of me kissing another dude as my facebook profile pic so that everyone could stop feeling sorry for me for being single, but you think I moved on and am dating someone else and don’t love your trifling ass anymore and you got the nerve to have a jealous streak" kind of a fuck. This fool asked me like four times “so what’s new with you?” As if I would tell if it WAS true, lol. Anyway, the sex between Lawrence and Issa would fall in a similar category - dudes being in their insecure ass feelings but STILL not trying to give you the respect you deserve.

Issa calls the sex “nebulous.” Nebulous: unclear, vague, or ill defined. Molly is wary of drawing any conclusions based on this murky outcome, but Issa brightly tries to convince herself the sex means something good. Idk, girl. I don’t feel like that. I’m not even going to delude myself that way.

Lawrence is in the gym, because in case you haven’t noticed, he ain’t a capn crunch eating white socks scrub no more. He starts to text Issa that he made things weird and didn’t plan for it to happen, but thinks better of it and deletes it.

Meanwhile, Molly did stick with her therapist and is at a second session. Far from how close mouthed she had been before, she is ranting energetically about her stronger work ethic and going above and beyond but still being underpaid. Honestly, this is why I just solve this issue by half assing everything at work. I’m never going above and beyond. I will ALWAYS be a solid ¾ at annual performance review time. Fuck your five star review. This job don’t give a fuck about me and I don’t give a fuck about y'all. And when the pay stops being enough, my resume makes it easy for me to bounce and renegotiate a new salary. But Molly is not interested in conceding defeat and can’t understand why she can’t figure out a way to get into the all boy’s club. The therapist points out that Molly is “shoulding” all over herself. And if you watch this show, you’ve seen Sex and the City, so we don’t need to break down the logistics of this.

The therapist tries to tell Molly she’s living in the reality she thinks she should have, not the one she does have. Molly, naturally, doesn’t understand what she’s saying. The therapist tells her that there are certain standards levied at black women - and let’s take the time to point out the difference here… in the past, the standards of a black woman were to singlehandedly manage a household and all of its financial and functional needs, put yourself aside and be a supporting force for everyone else in your life, and maybe you might find a man but how can you expect that, and you shouldn’t, because it’s too hard, and well, if you can’t find one, maybe nice Willie the janitor will be there for you and don’t be thinking bout no law degree. That shit ain’t the move no more. These days the perfect standards of being a black woman are all about getting your 2013 self titled album Beyonce on - fulfilled in yourself and your life choices and not subscribing to any ideology that says you can’t be enough or what you have to offer isn’t valuable… with a slice of “even if no one else can see my value, I know it far exceeds that of many of those around me.” Later for settling. Later for accepting scraps. But now that opens the door to a battle that’s twice as hard, choosing to except the ways in which you are exceptional, in a world that is not willing to agree with you purely because… you are a black woman.

The therapist asks Molly if she would be open to a life that doesn’t look like the one she thinks she “should” have. Molly isn’t ready to grapple with that idea, and demurs on scheduling the next session. See what I’m saying? Bitches afraid to look at themselves.

Gallery opening. Which, again, is a little too close to Sex and the City for me, but I don’t know what y'all be doing in California or New York. Gallery openings ain’t a thing in Chicago. The four of them are talking about Issa’s party. Tiffany is being annoyingly bougie as usual, Kelli is only mildly extra. I don’t… I don’t know what to say about these outfits.

I fully respect everything Insecure is doing. But I’d be a damn lie if I said… it was very… right, I suppose. It wouldn’t be the route I’d take if it were my show, I guess is what I’d say. They are trying to decide plans for the weekend but Issa doesn’t want to go out clubbing - she thinks sleeping with Lawrene means a reunion is imminent so she can’t really be going out anymore. Tiffany decides to empathize and shares that her gay husband lived in a hotel for basically half a year while they were going through something. “The point is, even perfect couples have problems,” Tiffany says, and I’m not looking forward to the season where they try to humanize Tiffany by showing she hides behind all this “perfect” bullshit to cover up the fact that she is miserably depressed and hates herself. I accidentally paused at a moment that captures this sentiment:

Issa thinks she just needs to give Lawrence time to forgive her; he can’t just walk away from five years like that. Every single time I’ve thought I offered something so incredibly unique to a man he’d be stupid to walk away from it, I was patently, 100% wrong. Kelli points out that for 2 of those years his bum ass mooched off on her couch and Issa should move on. Issa wants to work it out. But… really? Why would Issa want to still be with Lawrence? She wasn’t happy with him, that’s why she cheated in the first place. And I’m not buying that she saw the error of her ways and truly wants the life they had together in the end. More like being single is shit, especially when you’ve had someone as your counterpart for a significant chunk of time, and rather than adjusting to something new it’s easier and more comfortable to want back what you had.

Kelli lets it slip that Lawrence is with someone knew, which Tiffany was also aware of. They know who she is and everything, but Issa claims she doesn’t want to know. In the two seconds it takes to decry that claim, Molly finds Tasha’s instagram profile. Tiffany offers some friendly shit-talking (“why does she only speak in emojis?”) and Kelli says she looks like a stripper. Issa pretends like she doesn’t want to know who she is.

Gallery bathroom. While Issa is doing her “go high or go low?” mirror freestyle, I am just mesmerized by her crown-mimicking braidout. Like. I wouldn’t wear it because I couldn’t pull it off, but it is fascinating on her. She decides going the high road is overrated, and when Molly comes to check on her, Issa snaps, “pull that bitch up!” The soundtrack that kicks in at that moment - bass heavy intoning “fuck that nigga” - pulls all of us back on the thrones we sometimes forget but need always to occupy.

The next day. For reasons that are unclear, Issa stops by Chad’s apartment looking for Lawrence. Chad remarks on her glow up approvingly, which Issa awkwardly plays off. They have awkward small tight for a bit before Issa asks for Lawrence. Chad doesn’t want to say where he really is, and if I had the skills/patience to make gifs, I’d insert one here now of the coy way he then slups on the straw of his beet juice. As it is, Issa concedes defeat and decides to leave.

It turns out Lawrence is at Tasha’s, watching Defamation. I know that’s not the name of their in-series show, but I can’t be bothered to find out what it was, so I’m just going to call it the same as DWP’s. Tasha is into it while Lawrence is aloof, and the thing that makes *me* most uncomfortable about Tasha - as stated, I do not buy into the thotty because she is traditional narrative - is her liking Real Housewives-y television and occupying that “black women in Atlanta” sort of social space. I do fully approve of her around the way girl oversized gold hoops.

Lawrence says he has things on his mind and Tasha, again refreshingly casually, asks whether he wants to talk about it. She gets a text from her mom, informing her about a family barbecue. She takes a moment and hints about whether or not Lawrence would like to come. Rather than pretend to be oblivious, Lawrence actually makes a noise like he acknowledges this time that he knows this would mean something, and Tasha, sensing his hesitation, immediately walks the invitation back. Lawrence decides to just drop that he slept with his ex. He tries to explain why it happens and says he just wants to be honest, and doesn’t know what it means. Hmm. I don’t know at this point in their relationship how big a deal this should be, so Tasha’s measured response of “I think you need to go” is about level and appropriate. Oh MAYNE, she got that black glass and gold accented vanity mirror that I’m sure was a pattern we ALL had in our moms’ bedrooms at some point.

Dunes. Issa is getting ready for bed, trying to resist looking up Tasha. Of course she isn’t able to manage it, and pulls up Tasha’s instagram.

Law firm. Molly rolls up on the front desk lady and they exchange pleasantries and niceties. Molly wants to know about a hockey game the bosses are going to. She is planning to shoot her shot and try to ingratiate herself into the “boy’s club.” “I’m scared of you,” the front desk lady says neutrally, grinning and turning back to her computer.

Issa’s boring after school job. The principle is prejudiced against latinos, Frieda doesn’t like it, Issa is tone deaf. Blah blah blah.

So how do we feel about Chad’s suit? Apparently he had to wait outside for Lawrence to express his disbelief that Lawrence told Tasha about Issa. Uh, how did he find out about that? lol. Lawrence says he couldn’t lie about it because he’s “not dirty like that.” Chad, and all of us:

Seriously, what’s up with Lawrence? He is delusional about his capacity for being a good dude. Which, to be perfectly frank with you, is not very surprising to me for a guy who could mooch off his girlfriend for two years and then be totally blindsided with her being dissatisfied and unhappy in the relationship. Lawrence can’t believe he slept with Issa, thinking he was once step out the door away. Chad is overall not surprised that Lawrence went back to being a “John Legend ass nigga.”

The broker is a black woman in an off white pantsuit. You know how sometimes you’ll be watching white tv and you never see any black people until you need a bus driver or a maid or a nurse or some other menial service person? Insecure does this in reverse where most of the roles of businesspeople in the community are held by black women, which is truer to life. Anyway, she’s Patty from ABG. The apartment seems to have disturbingly pale sea green walls which I would not be happy with. I’d feel like my entire apartment is a bloody bathroom from a scary movie. That’s the exact same shade of sea foam green blue.

They like the apartment. It’s pretty big. I know nothing about Los Angeles real estate but I assume it’s extremely expensive. Lawrence is hesitant to commit, possibly because he wants an invite back to the Dunes. Who knows, the scene doesn’t elaborate.

High School. Frieda is mad about Principal Gaines not caring about the latino students. She calls it a “racist joke” he made. Issa doesn’t care, and Frieda’s Clueless White Person rambling doesn’t help. They arrive to the after school program to find it full of students. Gaines hooked them up with kids. Issa is thrilled but Frieda is concerned about the lack of latino students.

Molly is riding an escalator somewhere. Where ya going, Molly? Ooooh… eeeee… she’s making the bold but fairly ill considered decision to try to rub elbows with the boys club in the box seats for a hockey game.

I don’t begrudge Molly attempting to shoot her shot, but there have got to be more… shall we say organic ways for her to attempt it. We look like assholes popping up in entirely the wrong context like this. Now I’m having a flashback to an ill advised friendship with an overweight white woman who, time would reveal, primarily wanted to use me to get an in into black spaces where she could meet black men. But never fear, her black female friends were just as corny and thirsty: her black counterpart was this overweight chick who went out of her way to assure all of us how much she loved hockey and when she talked about basketball she made sure to only talk about the two or three white players on our home team. The thirst was real and it went in both directions, and that is tonight’s anecdote on why I make very little effort to make female friends as an adult.

Back at the Dunes, Issa cannot resist the allure of her phone, holding the secrets as it does to Tasha’s insta. Of course she eventually caves and we are treated to this snap filtered gem:

Doing the most. But followed up by this:

Loving the wig. Issa throws the phone down pretending she doesn’t care, going back to her book.

Back at the hockey game, Molly’s attempts to bond with middle aged white men is typically embarrassing. They’re drinking shitty beer, Stella Artois as far as I can tell? Molly takes a moment then decides to shoot her shot, socially approaching her boss. He’s wearing a ridiculous suit. They make small talk about lobster rolls, but Molly misses the timbre of the humor and her “women are clueless about sports” bit doesn’t quite land. Which I’m going to go ahead and chalk up to a racial barrier because let’s just admit it. It’s not believable to pretend a black woman gives a fuck about hockey. I have sat around with white dudes and tried to watch hockey games. That shit is boring. They score once every fifteen minutes. Let us submit a blanket moratorium on black women appeasing whites by pretending to like hockey.

The next morning at work, Molly tries to maintain cordial commentary with her boss but it’s awkward and they both wish it had never happened. She walks away from the break room while her boss and a random white man look awkwardly after her before going back to their conversation.

Hey. Don’t you fucking hate that we have to do this shit?

Chad’s. Lawrence is on his air mattress, looking pensive. Dune’s. Issa is on her mac still stalking. She has progressed to facebook. Then she swaps to Twitter. Then she swaps to the LinkedIn. I have amazing internet stalking skills. I once found posts from a message board someone posted on anonymously in high school. I knew an ex of mine had gotten married like six months after I dumped him and I wanted to know who the wife was - that took licensed private investigator levels of digging because he had zero online footprint and a super generic name. I once found someone’s professional license, which listed their contact number, saved the number to my phone, and used it to find their instagram page. Fuck with me dog. No one has shit on my internet stalking game. I’m not crazy just nosy as fuck.

Letsmovealong… Tasha’s social media is meant, I’m thinking, to paint her as slightly basic. She has Beyonce quotes in the Beyonce font, she’s wearing an uncomfortable suit in her linkedin pic. She takes pics eating jalepeno poppers in ecstasy. And, to be fair, I think that’s the characterization we are meant to take away from Tasha. She isn’t quirky like Issa. She’s just “regular black.” And I know that’s a thing that people have had negative reactions to, so I don’t mind telling you I aggressively defend “regular black.” I live on the northside of my city, which is white neighborhoods. Every man I date has no less than a college degree and often a graduate or professional degree, as, having one myself, this only makes sense for finding someone with compatible values. So my ability to occupy a quirky, upwardly mobile black space must take responsibility for blackness as a whole, in the sense that it would be shameful for me to shun “regular blackness.” Whenever I’m wearing curly 30 inch remy in my sew in and I meet randoms who ALWAYS ask me whether I’m latina I make SURE to put them in their place. Asking me whether I’m mixed. That’s not a compliment, y'all. Don’t be on the okcupids and the tinders talking about you’re “other” race. I used to block men on sight with bedebees talking about some “Mixed race, other.” Don’t side with the oppressors. Don’t shun regular blackness. (I have seen many, many black people do this, both male and female, and it is incredibly disheartening and disappointing. It’s not just men. Women do it too. All of y'all need to stop.)

Issa realizes that Tasha works at the bank Lawrence goes to. So the next morning she takes it upon herself to take a visit, taking note of the Best Buy right next door. Issa goes inside and gets in Tasha’s line. “I’d like to make a deposit,” she says, and then cold-cocks Tasha. This, of course, is yet another fantasy.

But in real life, Molly is having a cup of espresso on some campus somewhere. Lawrence spots her and decides he’s not petty enough to not say hi. I’m loving the linen denim blue button up, less endeared by the flat hipster leather backpack, but I don’t mind the attempt. They hug with Molly surprised to see him - she was there for some meeting or other. Lawrence says it’s “Meridian” which I know as a health insurer, but probably means something different as it’s where he works. Molly’s wear a midi dress and heels which… I remember those cut out shoulder cut out things from a time far far in the past, guys.

They make small talk about Lawrence’s new job and how they’re both “good.” Lawrence makes to walk away but Molly, steeling herself, calls him back. She wants to talk about Issa, who she tells him is “still torn up.” “And?” Lawrence says, rudely. Yeah, Lawrence has no concept of the fact that their relationship was garbage. Maybe it wasn’t always, but where they were when we met them, their relationship was trash.

Molly champions Issa and asks whether he hates her. He says he doesn’t, so Molly asks if he’d ever take her back. We don’t get to see Lawrence’s response as we swap to Issa in her car. She’s still outside of the bank when Tasha walks past, talking to a friend. Issa drops the recline on her seat all the way back to hide. Molly calls at this moment, walking away from her conversation with Lawrence and carrying a fabulous pale tan attache case. She makes it clear to us that she was only there as a plant, to run into Lawrence so she could ask him about Issa. This is the new age adult version of the secret three way call.

Issa asks what Lawrence said about her. Molly apologizes, and breaks the bad news that Lawrence says he’s done. He ended up taking the new apartment, so he’s not coming back. Issa digests this in silence. Molly offers to come by but Issa tells her she’s fine. She reclines in her car a bit longer into an annoying security guard comes by and tells her she can’t sleep there.

Nighttime. Molly’s still at work, skyping with Hannah, the lawyer who recently transferred to the Chicago office. They’re both working late. My ambitions and skillset and also personal passions would seem to dictate that I should have been a lawyer. But even when I was much younger and just starting to think about what I wanted my life to look like, I never wanted to give more of a fuck about work than anything else in my life. Like, this being at the office at nighttime shit? No thank you. ….I kinda regret that now. You know? Maybe in the go-go 90s I took the trope of the serious businesswoman who doesn’t have time for a man and a life and a family too seriously. I don’t know.

Molly makes professional good with Hannah, offering to help with her workload - and this is kind of what I mean - in kind of like “I’m a workhorse, use me.” Hannah is touched by the offer, and agrees to throw some work Molly’s way, perhaps recognizing the ploy Molly is extending. So that one, at least, went over well.

Somewhere in LA. While Molly’s in her office, Lawrence has stopped by Tasha’s house. She comes out to meet him where he is waiting by his car. She’s wearing ripped jeans and very clunky sneakers. When Lawrence says hi, she regards him coldly. He launches into an apology, telling Tasha she didn’t deserve that. Tasha, still playing “cool girl” who doesn’t make a big deal about the fucked up shit you’re dealing, plays understanding, that she gets why he was still messing with his ex. She knows their relationship wasn’t exclusive.

She’s giving him an out. But Lawrence muddies this by saying his thing with Issa was over. Tasha tried to let him keep things casual, but his response signals that casual behavior isn’t ok while they are seeing each other. Recognizing this, Tasha makes an excuse for why she has to go back inside.

But, at the last minute she just can’t help it, and caves, asking him whether or not he wants to come in for dinner. Lawrence, who was walking away, stops and takes her up on it. Damnit, Tasha. You almost made it.

Dunes. Issa, in her hairscarf and tshirt again (this has been a dry week for Issa right?) is putting away her laundry. She is suddenly annoyed about hanging all of her clothes on one side of the closet. Lawrence’s shit is gone. She angrily shelves her shit on the opposite side, and, in bed, pulls her pillow in the middle, grappling with the reality that Lawrence is really not coming back.

Swiper more swiping helps blunt some of the pain as Issa pulls up Tinder again, trying, still trying.

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