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vaspider · 2 years

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you know what’s an interesting (and upsetting) observation I’ve made re: the whole “transandrophobia is just co-opting transfem terms”? I’ve seen similar shit happen in the past in almost the exact same way. Achillean was coined as a masc version of sapphic (obvs there’s more nuance to it but that’s a general gist of it) and masc folks were accused of appropriating fem terms. A gay man specific flag separate from the rainbow flag was made because some people wanted that, and it was immediately shot down because it was [checks notes] “just a recoloured lesbian flag”.

Like. It’s so insidious. It happens every single time queer masc people/men try to make something for ourselves. We’re always accused of appropriation, of stealing, of co-opting, things from fem people/women. We’re not allowed to have anything, and it’s so fucking tiring.

So honestly I think it's more "lesbians have been told by TERFs that they are So Threatened by everyone else and must Defend Themselves", which is part of their little radicalization script for lesbians, than it is specifically about men or trans men in particular. The same kind of things are said about bi women, about aces, about... lots of things.

The radfem/GC/TERF view on womanhood is so rooted and indeed steeped in the concept that womanhood is pain and suffering that they end up centering that pain and making it foundational to their worldview. That idea that womanhood is pain is so important that anything which decenters "woman" -- a sort of nebulous Ur-Woman who represents all women but somehow always seems to have the needs and desires of a Western white cis woman -- as the Most Suffering is an active threat to their entire existence. This includes concepts like intersectionality, because then they'd have to acknowledge that, say, Black women or disabled women or Black disabled women might have different needs or desires.

But, like, it also means that they have to keep selling how Under Attack they are to others as a declaration of self and of purpose, and that reinforcing that Under Attack status becomes a bonding activity for the in-group to participate in to delineate themselves from others. It's exactly the same thing you see with Evangelicals, where there's this constant refrain of "we are being persecuted." (The difference between the two groups being that - in the US anyway - women are institutionally disadvantaged and Evangelicals absolutely are not.) That is a part of the group identity, so it's necessary to repeat and reinforce. "Lesbians are the most attacked part of the community, especially from within the community" becomes a mantra as an outgrowth from "womanhood is a burden, everyone has it out for us, womanhood is a prison, women are only ever safe with other women."

Anyway. I'm very stoned and have been thinking about this particular topic for a very very long time, but I think that like... a lot of our intracommunity bullshit could be unwound if we were more aware of the fact that we are a community so under siege that we're consistently and constantly flinching, and that white women in the US have a Problem with summoning this concept of "woman" which is not just affected by oppression but defined by it. It's such a completely self-defeating definition for self-labeled feminists. Like... if womanhood is fully and totally suffering, what the fuck is left if you achieve your aims? If you end gendered oppression and suffering and your gender is defined by that, then what have you got left?

And all of this is of course not to deny that like -- in a lot of ways and for a long time, gay men have driven the agenda of the LGBTQ community. Part of why the acronym changed from GL to GLB to LGB to LGBT was part of a deliberate and much-discussed attempt to decenter (white cis) gay men, who had been sort of... centered by dint of being white cis men. Like, yes, that's real, and when we're talking about whose actual concerns are being addressed, that matters. For example, when you're talking about how trans folx were talked into letting marriage equality "go first" and let trans rights "wait their turn" bc "people aren't ready yet" and so the legislative needs of cis gays who have to worry about inheritance go first and we're left to trail behind, yeah, that's a time to talk about how intracommunity shit was often prioritized around gay men. Vexillology, especially when we're talking about a bunch of flags which generally have 3 or 6 horizontal stripes, is some bizarre, penny-ante nonsense which only serves as a means of saying "look how they attack and steal from us" and honestly ugh shut up.

It's exhausting, and it's fucking up our attempts at living less shitty lives. I wish people would knock it the fuck off.

Transmascs do get a big bucket of bullshit, we do, but I don't think the Achillean & flag thing was about transmascs, I think it was about the whole "oh no we're so put upon, look how persecuted" nonsense, and for that we can blame white womanhood.

#long post

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alexanderpearce · 5 years

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give me book recs u coward

oof…………. fucking watch me.

the secret history by donna tartt

u only have to be around me for 5 min to out that this is my #1 fave book 😔👊. if u dnt know much about its Very dark academia, it surrounds a murder, but its not a whodunit its like. a whydunit? cause u know who the murderers are from the beginning.

if we were villains by ml rio

another good dark academia book! if u like shakespeare and gays Pls Read.

the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater

im currently rereading this, which imo is one of the best young adult series ever. its about kids and ghosts and dead welsh kings.

the well of loneliness by radclyffe hall

im also reading this atm, which is one of the first ever explicitly lesbian books published. it was published in 1928, and was followed by a pretty famous obscenity trial. i am enjoying it immensely so far!

terms and conditions, life in girls’ boarding schools 1939-1979 by ysenda maxtone graham

in terms of non fiction, i just remembered that this excellent book exists. its exactly what it says on the tin! written in a really fun and engaging way, its a super interesting read and i would recommend it endlessly!

Some Others that i love a lot;

the goldfinch by donna tartt

a great unrecorded history by wendy moffat (its a biography of e.m. forster) (tw for pedophilia)

interview with the vampire (and all of the vampire chronicles, really) by anne rice (I KNOW AND IM SORRY)

metamorphoses by ovid

searching for sappho by philip freeman (REALLY GOOD BOOK ABT SAPPHO, also includes her poetry. this book is so fucking good i am Serious)

brideshead revisited by evelyn waugh

dangerous liaisons by pierre choderlos de laclos (tw for rape and pedophilia)

six of crows and crooked kingdom by leigh bardugo

and im going to stop myself there!

IMPORTANT; all of these books are Gay to some degree. im now going to order them by gayness because its useful and also because ive lost control of my life

Gayest; the well of loneliness, searching for sappho, a great unrecorded history, the secret history, the raven cycle, six of crows, if we were villains

Gay; the goldfinch, the vampire chronicles, metamorphoses

yeah gay; terms and conditions (mentions wlw, obv. its about girls boarding schools.)

gay in subtext; brideshead revisited

gay in subtext, the least gay; dangerous liaisons (honestly this book is a sapphic icon lol……..)

#anyway im typing this out as if i dont know u anon so. if i do lmao u already KNOW abt tsh and tvc and im Sorry.#ALSO if this is someone i know irl i own all these books & u can borrow any of them.#except maybe tsh the notes i wrote in it are fairly spoilery.#shut up ulrike #SORRY I WENT TOTALLY OVERBOARD WITH THIS BUT #U GOTTA KNOW THE AMOUNT OF GAY UR GETTING #book recs #asks #anon

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simptasia · 5 years

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the send me a fandom ask game for lotr/the hobbit if you want? :)

oh, thank you!! i wasn’t ready for that but [thumbs up]

ohhh its been awhile since i was nessled into lotr

who i will protect at all costs: all the hobbits in general but frodo especially because 1. he’s in pain and 2. some “fans” are shitty even to this day

who deserves better: frodo, mostly. just, like, in general. as a person, by the fandom, by his universe. also faramir and boromir (they deserved a better father and they got emotionally punched several times and i die)

who was killed off too early: nah nah that was the place for boromir to die, like... everybody died when they were supposed to. im talking from a storytelling standpoint. in a perfect world boromir is alive and smooching hobbits

who i used to hate but now i love: hate is a strong word. i was mainly just bored with aragorn, merry and (gasp) frodo at first but i got better. good lads

who i used to love but now i hate: no?? how would that happen

who needs to be killed off asap: everybody bad died, its okay

who is unfairly hated: THREE GUESSES WHOM. but yeah the peeps most shitalked by fandom are frodo, boromir, merry and pippin. the gift of which is: whiney, evil, just stupid comic relief. also arwen and tauriel aren’t very liked. i mean, they are in MY circles because i keep very sapphic company but i mean in ~general~ and basically like... [rolls eyes]

who is unfairly loved: nah, s’all good

who needs to sort out their priorities: i only have non-serious answers

merry and pippin getting high after a battle

sam bringing seasoning on an important trip

eowyn stopping aragorn to be like “hey i like you”

legolas and gimli’s kill count contest

thranduil being like “hey btw my son is hot for you” at tauriel, which im 100% sure isn’t even true. tauriel’s reaction says it all

gollum most of all, for reals. do i need to say why

who needs a hug: ALL THE HOBBITS!!!! (and faramir) sam i would most like to hug but yeah, obvs, frodo needs it the most

who needs to get out of their current relationship: i have no probs with the relationships that happened, i just add more to ‘em

who the writers love: sam, i believe, was tolky’s fave

who needs a better storyline: arwen just kinda laid around glowing and dying for two movies, huh?

who has an amazing redemption arc:

who is hot af: since hobbits aren’t ones to be called hot, i’d say tauriel. oh thranduil. and smaug (you heard me). otherwise im a hobbit-fucker

who belongs in jail: all the bad guys are dead but uhhhh denethor makes me physically sick with how much i hate him so yeah

who needs to be revived from the dead: aww nah. boromir’s death is important and has to stay. as i said before tho, cute AUs where he’s alive are nice (and that one AU where he turned evil and snapped pippin’s spine is NOT nice. that fic didn’t even have a single warning on it. fucking brutal)

#i kept it short #thank you!#asalesbian

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