#and now I’m a shell of a hopeless romantic while they’re already dating a new guy who obviously makes them happier | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brutcllysoft · 4 years

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post-negotiations ft. @devilwomcn

setting: march 2015, reina’s office.

ROWAN:

There is a pounding in the base of Rowan’s skull. She’s been sitting in three hours of contract negotiation and it’s clear that it’s taken it’s toll on her. Rowan’s been in this life since she was fifteen years old, catching her big break early into her teenage years and turning into an overnight sensation, her career skyrocketing higher than she ever could have believed before she was even eighteen years old. Her first year had been rocky, her mother standing in as both manager and mother but when she was sixteen Reina Savant made her appearance and it just feels like it’s been non-stop ever since then. In the best way, of course. Reina is single handedly responsible for making sure Rowan gets the absolute best version of every opportunity that has been thrown her way and even though they had started off rocky, they make a really, really good team. Though she’s hesitant to get completely on board with the latest idea the older woman has thrown at her.

Once upon a time she may have believed it to be a sneaky, double handed deal ---- something Reina would present as good for her, only later to reveal that it was actually going to hurt her now but have her thriving in the long run. But there is no denying that they’ve bonded over the last five years. How could they not? More often than not, they’re the only constant the other has. Reina’s always on the road with her, accompanying her to every inch of the world and fighting in her corner every step of the way. Rowan’s not sure she could ever put into words how much Reina has done for her, how much she feels like she owes her but she hopes she doesn’t have to. That Reina somehow just knows. The other party leaves the room and Rowan allows herself to slump in her chair, head lolling forward into her upturned hands, heels of her palms pressing against closed green eyes. “Tell me again that this is the right move,” she sighs quietly, looking again for a little reassurance. She looks up then, blinking away the array of colours in her vision from the pressure that had been there seconds earlier and her voice takes on a slightly sharper tone. “And why it had to be him of all people.”

REINA:

They’ve been sitting in a conference room all day it seems, going over the ins and outs of what Reina might call a deal with the Devil if she didn’t already claim that title for herself. It’s not exactly romantic, but then again a set up relationship filled with contract negotiations and a bunch of legal bullshit that Reina’s all too used to dealing with isn’t ever going to be considered the height of romance. She can tell Rowan’s just itching to make a run for it and to be fair, the older woman doesn’t really blame her. This isn’t what she signed up for, she should be able to just make music and do whatever the fuck she wants, but that isn’t the industry and Reina knows that all too well. Once they’re done and the lawyers are gone, she doesn’t miss the way Rowan immediately slumps in her chair, biting back a comment about good posture and how she’s going to start looking like shit in interviews if she keeps that up. Instead she grants the blonde her moment of distress, for once understanding how overwhelming this all must be.

Rowan’s quiet request for reassurance puts something in the pit of Reina’s stomach that she can’t quite place — maybe it’s guilt for pushing this, which is something she’s never felt before about a deal, or maybe she’s just afraid it is the wrong move and she’s setting Rowan up for failure — but either way, she knows better than to display anything but confidence when she answers. “It’s the right move,” she affirms, reaching out to squeeze Rowan’s shoulder lightly before retracting her hand like she’s just been burned. “You’re too goody-two shoes — too cookie cutter. Obviously you’re doing well but it wouldn’t hurt to expand your fanbase to people who don’t shit sunshine and daisies.” Which isn’t her entire fanbase, and of course Reina knows that, but it’s a pretty big chunk of it and if they ever want to move away from the Country Girl Barbie act, it’s going to be pretty damn hard to do without this publicity stunt and the kid that comes with it. Andrew Thane may be a nightmare in the press, but on paper he’s exactly the edge Rowan needs. “Trust me, I’m not all that thrilled about this match either, but we have an image in mind and he fits it. It’s just two years, Ro. In and out. Y’all don’t even have to see each other except in public.”

ROWAN:

Somehow even with Reina's reassurance, Rowan can't help but feel like this is a bad idea. Usually all it takes is one word from Reina and Rowan is all in. She's never lead her astray before, always proven to have her back and is the one person that Rowan can count on her being in her corner no matter what. So it would be easy to just lean into that reassurance and run with it --- she wants to. But Rowan is, at her core, a hopeless romantic. It's something the media has ripped into her about before, as if the string of boys she has dated is any longer than that of her male counterparts. The idea of devoting two years of her life to something fake and with Andrew Thane makes her feel like her skin is too tight. The fact that she'll be wasting some of the best parts of herself--- that big heart of hers that is so often getting her in trouble -- on something that isn't even real is a hard pill to swallow.

"Okay." She simply nods at Reina's reassurance, sighing and raking a hand through blonde locks. Reina's next words pull a laugh from her, a sound that's equally tired and full somehow; bordering right on the edge of being forced and genuine. "You don't think the teenage girl market is a good one anymore?" The reality is, the majority of her fan base a girls between the ages of 9 and 19 right now and while they're great -- she loves all of her fans, owes her success to them of course, but they've also all got parents willing to shell out big bucks with just a bat of their eyelashes -- she can't deny that it would be nice to appeal to an older, more mature audience as well. Maybe it would help the industry treat her more seriously. "Two years is a long time," she points out with a tilt of her head. It's not that long in the big picture and she knows that there is a possibility of it flying by in a blink. "How badly are we going to get sued if we have to pull the plug early?"

REINA:

Even though the laugh that comes from Rowan isn’t quite genuine, it’s nice to hear nonetheless, and Reina’s relieved that despite her hesitation she’s not completely ill at ease with all of this. “Well it depends, are you hoping to make a deal with the Disney Channel any time soon? Because if not, I’d say it’s time we move on,” she jokes, because obviously she already knows Rowan’s got zero interest in that. She’s entering her twenties and it’s about that time when she’s still seen as a kid but should be treated like an adult, and Reina knows Rowan wants to be taken seriously as a musician rather than catering to a young demographic for her entire career. It’s best to move forward now while they can, and in Reina’s mind there’s no better way for her to do that than being associated with Andy Thane and his chronic inability to seem even remotely innocent.

The more Reina thinks about it, the more she’s convinced this move is right — but once glance at Rowan tells her the blonde isn’t quite there yet. She knows Rowan’s got a big heart and a lot of love to give, and the last thing Reina wants is for her to somehow get hurt from this, but she’s fairly certain that won’t be a problem with a jackass like Andy in the picture. If anything, she thinks an issue might come from how much Rowan dislikes him. “It isn’t so long. Just one album,” she counters, giving Rowan a nudge with her foot in return. The legal part of this deal has Reina cringing a little, though, and while she told herself early on that she’d never lie to Rowan, she doesn’t exactly want to tell her the full truth. “Badly enough that I think you’d much rather just stick the two years out.” Truthfully, Reina can’t imagine Chris pushing Andy to actually sue them, but she does think his label would and they’d at minimum be suing for any money he would have made from being in the tabloids with Ro — which is a lot, and another big reason Reina’s so adamant on doing this as well. “Think of it this way — when it’s all over, you can buy a nicer house up in the mountains and I’ll even let you tell the paps to fuck off whenever you feel like it. Perks of your new bad girl image, hm?”

ROWAN:

Reina’s joke lands where Rowan needs it to, and the laugh that follows though quiet is much more real. “I think we missed the boat on Disney. We should’ve cashed in on it a few years ago.” Though that has obviously never been part of their plan --- she’s had friends make a deal with that particular Devil and it isn’t something she has any interest in doing. Maybe six years ago before she’d gotten her big break -- there’s no denying that Disney is one hell of a way to break into the industry -- but not anymore. Reina’s gotten her better deals than any cartoon mouse ever could, and she doesn’t have to compromise who she is. At least, not entirely. Sure, she’s had to play up the small town southern girl act for the last few years, but it hadn’t always been an act. When she’d first been signed it was just who she was and now that she’s begun to evolve out of that and is looking to spread her wings and be taken more seriously and make moves in other directions, Reina is right there to make it happen ---- even if it’s happening in a way Rowan doesn’t fully understand.

Admittedly, when the idea of a fake relationship had been brought up, she had been completely against it. Rowan isn’t stupid and she knows herself --- she knows she sometimes jumps too soon, dives too deep and it’s gotten her burned in the past. Not to mention the media scrutiny it has landed her on more than one occasion. But as soon as Reina told her it would be with Andy Thane she knew that she’d be safe --- after just one interaction, she knows she can’t stand him and the possibility of actually falling for him is laughable. So between that and the airtight contract they’ve got laid out -- she tells herself it’s important to keep it professional, that the boundaries being on paper will make it impossible for her to cross them if she somehow ends up with a brain bleed and finds herself attracted to the man in question -- they’ll be pretty safe. But she’s still not thrilled about having to spend time with him and honestly, she’s worried. His reputation isn’t a good one and while she tries to see all of this from Reina’s perspective, to see that it will be good for them both she can’t help but worry being with someone like him is going to turn her already existing fan base against her.

She nods when Reina mentions waiting it out, knowing she wouldn’t put herself or her manager and legal team through that kind of battle over a measly two years. She’s resilient and she can wait it out. And honestly, the mention of a new house in the mountains does make it sound a little more worth it. “You might never see me again then,” she teases, only partly joking. Obviously she’d never just up and disappear but there’s no denying she’s more comfortable when she’s out of the hustle and bustle of the city most days, finding comfort in the quiet and being around nature. Not to mention it’s nice to not have to worry about some idiot with a camera hiding outside her front gate. Which brings her to her next point, accentuated by a loud laugh. “I’m going to remind you that you told me that two years from now when you’re telling me I need to watch my mouth more.” While her squeaky clean image has her refraining from cussing, there’s no denying behind closed doors she has a potty mouth.

REINA:

Reina can see that even just in the last few minutes, Rowan’s easing up just slightly. She knows her girl like the back of her hand and where her body language was once tense and anxious, she’s now loosened up a little and that’s enough to put Reina’s mind at ease. The older woman understands Rowan’s uncertainty when it comes to this deal, these are unchartered waters they’re entering but Reina is going to do everything in her power to make sure the next two years go by as smoothly as possible without a single hitch. It’s time that Rowan steps out as more than just the girl next door, and Reina can’t think of a faster way to get her there than to have the world think she’s shacking up with America’s Most Wanted. There’s a part of Reina that secretly hopes Andy’s image is almost as cultivated as Rowan’s, though — that he isn’t as much of an asshole as everyone says, because not only does she not want Rowan getting hurt, she doesn’t want Rowan falling down the path he seems to be going down. She’s a good kid, always has been, but the temptation to become a Lindsay Lohan or a Paris Hilton has never really been there until now, and Reina can only hope that Rowan’s got a good enough head on her shoulders to avoid a mess like that.

Although she’s kidding, Rowan’s warning that she may disappear to the mountains and never come back makes Reina tsk, the disapproval of that plan evidently clear. Rowan loves what she does too much to ever do something like that, though, so she’s not actually all that worried. “A few fucks here and there might do you good, so I’ll let it slide.” Really, it’s a miracle in itself that Rowan’s never been caught swearing too badly because she’s got a mouth on her that rivals Reina’s own, and maybe that’d do her some good with the image reconstruction they’re going for. Checking her watch, Reina realizes she’s got another meeting coming up and Rowan’s got her own schedule to adhere to, but they’re not done here just yet and she’ll gladly push everything back if Rowan still needs to talk out her anxiety before they move forward. She shifts the papers scattered on the table before them into a neat pile, clearing her throat as she laces her hands together on top of them and fixes Rowan with a serious look. “I’m only going to tell you this once because it’s an absolute last resort, but if something happens and you do want to pull the plug, I’ll figure it out. I don’t want you stuck in this if you’re miserable, that’s not going to help anyone.” Not only will Rowan probably not be able to pull out a great album if she’s in a bad place, but it’ll fuck with her for the rest of her life and that’s exactly what Reina wants to avoid.

ROWAN:

Reina’s disapproval is apparent, but Rowan lets it roll off of her back. Normally she’s one who takes any criticism to heart, maybe sometimes a little too personally. But seeing as this is a result of something she’d said in jest --- something she would never in a million years do, she isn’t very worried. Years ago she never thought she’d find herself in a position like this. She’d been sixteen when she moved in with Reina and they began their business arrangement, and she thought that was all it was ever going to be. They’d been awkward at first, with Rowan tiptoeing around the Nashville home in an attempt to stay out of the brunette’s way so she didn’t end up on the first flight back to Montana. And now Reina has come to be a presence that seems to automatically put her at ease, even in a situation as confusing and nerve wracking as this one. She doesn’t miss the way Reina checks her watch, though, and she does the same in return. Honestly her day is fairly laxed -- she’s got an interview in the morning and so today they aren’t doing much, but she knows Reina almost never has an easy day and she doesn’t want to keep her manager from taking care of her business just because she’s nervous. She’s a big girl, despite public opinion, she can ride this out and figure it out without needing someone to hold her hand the entire time. “Nothing is going to happen,” she frowns when Reina gives her that serious look, letting her know they can always pull the plug if she needs it.

“We’ll figure it out. I’m not worried.” Which is maybe the biggest lie she’s told in a while because she is very worried, but she doesn’t want to go down that road right now. Instead she clears her throat and moves to push her chair back. “I should get outta here before your next client shows up and starts complainin’ about you going over time with me.” There have been rumors about favouritism before and honestly, who else has Reina ever let into her home the way she has Rowan? But she doesn’t want to make waves at the office. "I'll see you tomorrow, right? Have a good night. Try not to make too many people cry today," she teases gently, giving one last smile.

#am movin tngs over (:#v: nashville.#nash: reina.#nash: reina 002

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efurujr · 7 years

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Jhené Aiko Talks New Album 'Trip,' Evolving As a Mother & Why Big Sean Is the Love of Her Life. - W/ Billboard

"I'm a true hopeless romantic and I feel like you have to not be afraid of love," says 29-year-old singer Jhené Aiko.

Aiko, an amorous soul who relishes the concept of love and the fruits that it bears, has admittedly found herself before on the short end of the stick in romance. After losing her brother, Miyagi, in 2012 to cancer, Aiko feverishly searched for a man who reminded her of her close friend. With each romantic encounter, she sought humor and soulful conversations as nourishment. While she looked for fulfillment in the love department, on the music front, she bloomed into one of R&B's premier songstresses with her 2014 album, Souled Out.

Through records like "Lyin' King," "W.A.Y.S." and "Spotless Mind," Aiko's precociousness as a songwriter had listeners enthralled. Still, she felt empty. With the loss of her brother weighing heavy on her spirit, Aiko ventured to Hawaii to seek liberation. Her journey sparked her creativity and enabled her to splash drops of candor onto the canvas like never before. The end result? Her latest album, Trip.

Watch Jhene Aiko's Emotional Journey in Her New Short Film 'Trip'

Laced with 22 tracks, Trip shreds the public's perception of Aiko and allows everyone to walk into the life of Penny, a nickname she was given by her great-grandfather when she was a child. For the first time, Aiko gives listeners a front row seat and allows them to watch her undergo a whirlwind of emotions, including love, pain, depression and, ultimately, triumph. Billboard spoke with Aiko about her most honest work yet in Trip, her relationship with her late brother Miyagi, her evolution as a mother and why Big Sean is the love of her life.

Billboard: Describe Jhené now versus Jhené when Souled Out came out in 2014.

Jhené Aiko: Well, I'm almost 30, so that makes a big difference. I'll be 30 in March. I would say I'm more aware. More aware, more myself. I know I feel like you got my mission statement [at our listening session] where I talked about being Penny -- which is the nickname that my great-grandfather gave me when I was four -- and I feel like that is really my true self. I felt like he looked at all of his great-grandkids and grandkids when they were born and just saw something in them and he gave us all a nickname. I just thought he, with his wisdom, always saw our true essence, you know what I mean? And I feel the Jhenè today is more of Penny. [She] is more true, honest and unafraid.

In your mission statement, you also dedicated the album to your brother. How would you have described your relationship with him before he passed?

Since he passed, every day I've dedicated to him. I grew up in a house where it was five of us. We have the same mom and dad. We grew up in tight quarters as well, so we shared everything and everyone was like two years apart. So there's that two years, two years, two years and my brother, Miyagi. He was two years older than me, so we're the last two of the five. We pretty much did everything together.

My older sisters were always together, and then [we had] another brother who would pretty much be doing his own thing. A lot of the time, it would be me and my brother or me and Miyagi because we were closest in age. So we went through middle school together and had a lot of the same friends. We were close. I always felt like he was more like my friend, you know what I mean? People in school would always be like, "You guys aren't twins?"

Throughout the album you were trying to find pieces of your brother through men that you've dated in the past. What traits were you trying to find in men that resembled your brother the most?

I would say a sense of humor. Me and my brother were always very, very silly and [had an] inappropriate sense of humor where you can't joke like that with anyone 'cause they might be like, "Really?" It could be offensive at times, but we're super, super friendly like that and we love South Park and that type of humor. So that was always important to me.

My mistake in comparing guys to my brother was that a sibling, especially an older brother younger sister type of relationship, there's no stronger bond than that. No man will compare to that, because there's certain things that we just are going to relate to each other because we're related. We have the same blood, so it was an unspoken bond. We could talk about things that I can't talk about with anyone else because they're not going to really, really get it. But with him, it was like, 100 percent I knew for a fact that he understood me.

Any crazy dream I had or any crazy idea or anything like that was something that I was looking for, because to me, that was the best male relationship I've ever had in my life, you know? And so, in a lover, those were the things I was looking for, and I still do. But I know I'm more aware and I know that my brother cannot be replaced, but I know that because I'm still here, that he is within me.

Those are the things that I have to tell myself every day and practice thinking in that way, because it's really easy to go back to really, really missing him and being sad about it. But there's so many things that I do and my daughter does and my siblings that remind me of him, so it's kind of just like he's still within all of us.

Trip is really a rollercoaster because you're falling in love, then you fall out of love and then you're depressed and then you come back to that sense of happiness. So for you as a songwriter, which stage or phase was the most difficult for you to write about?

Honestly, I've been writing since I was in elementary school, so that was always my way to express myself, whether it be a happy feeling or a sad feeling. And I found that when I was dealing with an unpleasant feeling, writing was really my No. 1 choice when it came to, "How can I get through this?" So now, as an adult, it's easy for me. It's easier for me to grip difficult emotions than the pleasant ones, you know?

Pleasant emotions are like, "Yeah I'm fine, so why do I need to write or why do I need to create?" 'Cause I like what's happening right now, but when I don't like what's happening then that's when I take myself to another world and write about it and release it. And as I get older and develop my craft even more, I found that I'm getting better at expressing myself in every way. Even in my relationships, I just feel like I'm getting better and better at it.

I know how to record myself, so it's easy for me to do that. But when it's other people in the studio, or I have to listen to it back with other people in the room, then it starts getting a little hard because I'm like, "Oh, shit. You're getting a real glimpse into my mind."

Vulnerability has never really been an issue for you. So with that being said, were you concerned about giving away too much of your personal life this time around? Because you went really deep on Trip.

Right. You know, no, I wasn't concerned. And even though it was even more vulnerable than I've ever been before, it's still not like, everything, you know what I mean? I have a large wealth of stories that I keep to myself just because some things you have to keep for yourself. You can't give it all away or you will just be a shell of a person. I think I do a great job at balancing things or thinking creatively about things.

Just being creative about stories or things that have happened to me instead of being like, "Oh, this is his name and he did this." Sometimes I am very descriptive and it's very, you know, real. Just word-for-word, all those things happened. Sometimes, I'll take a situation and just sort of be more creative with my vision and use my imagination a little more while describing a real situation. But I definitely have some things that only me and God know.

At certain points of the album, you said things like, "You're too real to be good," or, "Hope you are who you say you are." How have you managed to let your guard down in relationships despite being hurt in the past?

I'm a true hopeless romantic and I feel like you have to not be afraid of love. If there is a "one" for us, just one person, one soulmate, whatever, then you're not going to get it your first try or your second try or even your third try. So I won't let one bad relationship ruin my chance at finding my true partner. I'm not a person that holds grudges, either. I just live in the moment. It's easy for me to just be trusting of a new person, which sometimes is a fault, you know?

I always tell people when I lost my brother that was the biggest heartbreak, but it also taught me about life and death. But as far as a relationship, like a guy that's not my sibling or not my child, nothing is gonna hurt me more than what I've already been through. So if they hurt me, that's their fault. I know I'm a good person and I'm a true hopeless romantic. I'm a loyal, loving person and I just look at it like that. If you're going to do me wrong, then you're going to have to deal with the karma for that.

You have John Mayer on the guitar for two songs on the album. How did you and John connect?

There were a few people [on my wishlist] and I got Brandy and John Mayer. When I got with John Mayer, he just really stands out. Basically, [I had] the flu and they're like, "Okay, he'll come to the studio today." I'm like, "Oh no, I feel horrible." But I wanted [the session] and was taking it. I kept getting up to go to the bathroom to blow my nose and stuff like that 'cause I didn't want to gross him out, but he was amazing.

He stayed for hours and hours just playing guitar riffs and singing little song ideas and stuff like that. He’ll record everything. We recorded everything and I just picked out a few guitar licks that I like and built a beat around them. I played him "New Balance,” which wasn't complete at the time, and he was like, "Oh, I love it. I want to try something on this song. Can we add a guitar to the end of that song when the beat switches up?" That was an amazing experience.

You have a song on your album with your daughter Namiko titled "Sing To Me.” How do you feel you've grown as a mother since your debut album?

I just feel like as a person, I really see the importance of family now more than ever. I’ve taken a lot of trips to escape. I read a lot of books from Thich Nhat Hanh. He's a Vietnamese monk and he talks a lot about finding that peace within yourself and finding that peace within your immediate family, because people so often try to tackle the world without tackling their own issues within their self and within their family.

These people who are protesting every day and are on Twitter, they are not trying to work out the issues with their mom, or their brother and sister, with their family. And you really have to take it one step at a time, 'cause that's where it all starts. If you have that foundation and you guys are all loving, you guys have a loving self, they are loving towards themselves and loving towards their family, you guys can move as a unit and be a force of love.

Then, you all can go out into the world. I feel like my daughter has taught me that in so many ways. She's getting older; she'll be nine in November. Just that, the innocence of a child, the optimism, is just so inspiring to me. Before, she would just cry about things, but now she's communicating to me like, "I don't want you to go here. I want you to stay," or, "I want to come with you, I'm scared because I miss you." Telling me stuff like that. We have a really good relationship. We're compatible.

Everyone isn't as compatible with their parents, but we're lucky because she's a Scorpio and I'm a Pisces and I feel like we are compatible on a friendship level, too. We really have open discussions and we're really growing up together. I just feel more responsible. I feel like she knows that I'm not perfect and I would never ever pretend with her, but she also sees that I work really hard. We're just open with each other.

Big Sean appears on two tracks. The first one is “Moments” and the second one is a TWENTY88 record titled “OLLA.” If you could describe your relationship with Sean in one song or album, outside of your collaborations, which song or album would you choose and why?

I would choose -- is it Common and Erykah Badu? [Singing] “Love of My Life." I feel like because I've never ever ever had a relationship where we were friends first. I'm the type of girl that if they're like, "You wanna be my girlfriend?" I'm like, "Yes." It's just like, "Okay, we're together we've known each other for a week and now we're exclusive and serious."

When I met Sean, if you looked in the dictionary for Jhené Aiko, it would be a picture of Sean. Basically, he is my type, but he knows. That's why when I was 16, I had a lot of boyfriends that were like, that fit, that look. I was dating people who I wasn't attracted to right off the top or whatever. So I ended up not having a type. But then when I met Sean, I had a boyfriend and he was showing interest in me, but I was like, I have a boyfriend. But we were friends, it was never, nothing disrespectful ever happened between me and Sean.

Then when I broke up with that boyfriend, he had a girlfriend. So it was, 'Okay, alright.' We're still friends and we were forced to really, really get to know each other on a friendship level, you know what I mean? And to the point where he was even at my brother's funeral. We talk to each other on a friendship level throughout all of my relationship, just like, "How is this one thing, how are you doing?"

And obviously we worked together as well throughout our relationship. We did songs together. And then it just came to a point where it was like, "I'm single, you're single, we love each other." We actually already loved each other as people and then it was like, "Okay, let's just, you know, be together." So it was different because of that friendship. That comes first, we're friends before anything. We can bicker like a friendship.

If you're friends, when we're debating something, it doesn't turn into some crazy argument because we're actually friends. I have a big family. The friends that I have become family. I don't have a bunch of friends. I literally have like two friends outside of my blood relatives. Everyone else that I call a friend is literally related to me by blood. So Sean has become my family. I don't know what the future holds, but as far as my life goes right now, yeah, he's "L-O-M-L."

What are you hoping that your day one fans take away from this album?

Well, I hope that they take their time with it, No. 1. I hope that they really, really dive into it and just immerse themselves in it. Because like you said, it is a real trip and I feel like I definitely have a lot of fans that have been following me since I was younger who are my age now or even older and they really understand the concept of why, and they've been through losing someone and they've been through relationships that have been unpredictable and they have been through these things. And if anything, I would want those fans to just really just take in this whole map, the movie, the album and the poetry book and just be proud of how far I've come. Because I feel like I've really, with this M.A.P. [movie, album, poetry book], with this whole project I really gave my all, 150 percent. No distractions.

I was surrounded by only people that are loving and supportive. This is the first time that I can say that. The other projects I was doing, there were a few people that were definitely not around for the right reasons and were definitely using me, and stuff like that affected my projects, But this time around, everyone that I'm surrounded by has been nothing but helpful and supportive and I think it really reflects in the music and the album and the movie and the poetry book I made.

I have a lot of younger fans who have never lost someone close to them or haven't experienced a lot of relationships. To them, these are just songs. But for me, because this is a timeless piece of work, I feel like it's something that needs to be revisited. There's a song for everything. There's a poem for everything. I feel like the movie also touches on everything that the album and the poetry book touch on as well. So I feel like, I would just want them to have a better understanding of me.

That's my hope. And just not to feel alone in any of the pain or stress they're going through. I feel like a lot of people are afraid to talk about those things that make them sad or the things they're scared of, or the mistakes that they've made. And I hope that this whole map helps them tell their true, true story. Not the fluffed up version or not the what they think people want to hear from them, but just the honest, honest truth. When we know we're not alone or we know we have a lot of things in common, that helps us have empathy and compassion towards each other.

#jhene aiko #interview #text #billbord #trip #170922 #2017

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max-leather-anorak-blog · 7 years

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Sims 3 Character Profiles: Alex and Dorian

ALEX

In-Game Traits:

Supernatural Fan

Hopeless Romantic

Flirty

Childish

Ambitious

In-Game Favourites:

**Colour: **Sea Foam

Food: Fish and Chips

Music: Electronica

CURRENT OCCUPATION: Band Manager

In His Own Words:

NAME: Alex Astrid Vosijk

GENDER: ?

Date Of Birth: July 28th 1926, no, err…1992

WRITE A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF AND DORIAN:

I remember the first time a girl stuck her tongue in my mouth. We were thirteen, and her name was Bianca, if my memory serves. I was utterly spellbound by her, and I saw her a lot even into adulthood. Every time I saw her I would fall in love all over again. My mum told me I didn’t want to kiss girls like that. I did. But you don’t want to hear about that.

You probably already know who I am. Standing at five-foot-eleven; lilac-yes-of-course-that’s-my-natural-colour hair; green eyes? Of course you know me.

I suppose, what I’d like most is to be remembered. I suppose, I already am. What, in today’s age of instantaneous information at the simple press of a button, creating a lasting legacy is easier than ever. I feel like everyone wants to be remembered to an extent, but the question is, do we want to be famous or infamous? I don’t think I really mind. I’m a cunt, but at least I know I am. The worst kind of cunt is the type that doesn’t know they’re a cunt. Being infamous could be even better, in my opinion. It’s certainly easier. No-one gives a shit if you’re a saint, but if you’re really a bastard, really, really an absolute dickhead, suddenly, everyone wants to know everything about you. I’m not a mean guy at all- it’s all a bit of a laugh. It’s all for fun- people get that.

All that aside, it’s brilliant to be back in Bridgeport. My grandfather lived here when I was growing up and I haven’t visited since he passed when I was 14. My parents had to be boring and move to Moonlight Falls before I was born, but I suppose Moonlight Falls wasn’t all that bad. Where Bridgeport has the connections to fame and fortune, Moonlight Falls has a resident population of Supernaturals. Isn’t that awesome? Always wanted to be more than human, me, but I have to settle for living vicariously through Dor, him being a warlock (love that word, it makes me think of some old bloke with a huge beard dressed in blue and silver, like Merlin and all that), but he’s a little…well…boring. Lovely, lovely bloke though. I once got beaten up on my way home from school when we were eleven, and he used magic to heal my broken nose and clear my wounds. We’ve been friends ever since. Then he started living with us when we were seventeen. His family were nasty-really nasty. Used to beat the shit out of him, I think. Treated him as a servant. Slept in the shed most nights. We’ve shared houses and flats ever since, as well as DVDs, books, sadly not lovers. I was hoping, really, that moving to the city would bring him out of his shell, but it hasn’t really worked. He still just sits at that laptop typing away. Man, you’re a warlock! The amount of people you could be out impressing, seriously, think how much pussy you could be getting, man, but instead you’re just going to write Cthulhu and Friends Go To Taco Bell?

10 SONGS YOU’D TAKE INTO A NUCLEAR BUNKER:

**1. **_Are “Friends” Electric? - Gary Numan and Tubeway Army _- A Classic

**2. **Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order - A_nother classic._ I don’t trust people that don’t like New Order.

**3. **_Toxic- Britney Spears - _The Production is so good.

**4. **_Venus - Television - _I’m an art-punk at heart.

5. _Das Model- Kraftwerk - _Electronic Pioneers, the synth and bass are really ahead of their time.The Germans do Electronic music so well.

6._ The Sparrows and The Nightingales - Wolfsheim - _See previous.

7._ Performance- Tones On Tail - _Really, really underrated band.

8._ She’s Dangerous - Clan of Xymox - _Dor once told me this should be my theme song. I’m unsure if this is an insult.

**9. **Seventh Dream of Teenage Heaven - Love and Rockets - Another band Dor introduced me to. I just love the lyrics.

_**10. **Another Fall From Grace - The Mission - _Legends, and yet another band Dor told me to listen to.

DORIAN

In-Game Traits:

Loner

Shy

Bookworm

Grumpy

Night Owl

In-Game Favourites:

Colour: Green

Food: Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich

Music: Custom

CURRENT OCCUPATION: Full-Time Author

In His Own Words:

NAME: Vincent Dorian Lovecraft, please, though, call me Dorian.

GENDER: Male

DATE OF BIRTH: July 6th or 7th 1992

WRITE A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF AND ALEX:

Writing makes my teeth hurt. Of all the habits I’ve had,nail-biting is the one I’m still yet to give up. Yet, I only do it when I write. I also happen to chew pen lids, though, luckily for me, I don’t find myself having to use them very often. I was filling in a tax form last week, and hurt my gums very much when the lid slid upwards while I was minding my own business chewing it. I don’t usually realise until that point, or until I hear Alex finally snap. “Dor,” he’ll say, “get that pen out of your mouth or I’ll stick it where the sun does not shine.”

It wasn’t a decent pen, anyway. Just one he stole from work when he used to be with Lunar Industries, back in Moonlight Falls. He had to leave there because he’d slept with the entire office, and before long, they’d all found out and turned on him. He wasn’t cut out to be a businessman, Alex, who’s never given up on his childhood dream to be a rock star, or marry a rock star. On the rare event I’d catch him leaving for work, he’d always have his top shirt buttons undone, tie askew, hair teased to the heavens, and with a quick pout in the mirror, he’d stride out the door, and I wouldn’t see him until perhaps eleven that night. There was often a woman, or a man, and sometimes an individual of indistinct sex. Occasionally, there would be two. As was the way always, with Alex, since we were around seventeen, though it could very well have been happening earlier than that. He’s had a few long-term relationships of course, but never just one, always several at once. Monogamy doesn’t much interest Alex. I wouldn’t lie to you and say I understand, because I don’t. I’m perfectly happy being just me, my plants and my laptop. No need for one person, let alone three or four.

Since we moved to Bridgeport, he’s been every day urging me to “get myself out there” and “not get left on the shelf”, whatever that means. Internet tells me it’s something to do with unmarried women. Anyhow, he took me out to a few bars the first day we moved in, which, sidenote, I hated. He spoke to a woman who was playing the keyboard up on the stage and then fell off, and on our way out he said, “Dorian, I love you, really, right from twelve years old, but god, you need a girlfriend, or at least a whore.” And then fell over again.

I don’t much like it here, but perhaps it’ll grow on me. As long as I have my words, I’m happy.

10 SONGS YOU’D TAKE INTO A NUCLEAR BUNKER:

**1. (I Want To Be Your) Mirror - Temples - **It was a tough choice between this and the similarly named I’ll Be Your Mirror by The Velvet Underground…but…

2. All Tomorrow’s Parties - The Velvet Underground - The one true Gothic song. Nico was truly gothic, Bram Stoker gothic.

**3. **_Left Hand Luke and The Beggar Boys - T.Rex - _Only Marc Bolan could include the word “myxomatosis” in a song and not sound silly.

4._ All We Ever Wanted Was Everything - Bauhaus - _Embodies the melancholy of a small town, even if I preferred that to where I am now.

5. Visions of Johanna - Bob Dylan - What a wonderful lyricist he is.

**6. **_The Boxer - Simon and Garfunkel - _Another one of those songs that tells a story. I really admire that in songs. This was played on the radio a lot when I was working on my third draft of Orpheus Undead, which is my favourite book that I’ve written.

7. _The Bewlay Brothers - David Bowie - _I’m absolutely a Bowie casualty. This is a beautiful, harrowing story about his half-brother who had schizophrenia. Absolutely worth a listen. The creaking chair sound effects towards the beginning give me chills.

8._ Black Mountain Mist - The Mission. _Beautiful. The imagery this song provokes is just absolutely gorgeous. Tragic, but gorgeous.

9. _Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now- The Smiths. _It’s obvious I like The Smiths. I’m a skinny, poor, single writer.

**10. **_The Killing Moon - Echo and The Bunnymen. _No words.

#ts3 #ts3 simblr #my sims #my ocs #the sims 3 #simblr

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cajunroe · 7 years

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big short anon here again . might i please chat with you about porter/danny and/or jamie/charlie because you are the only human being i know of that i actually CAN talk to about them. :) — Anonymous

Okay I was gonna answer this yesterday and then got swept up in some fuckery but now I have TIME and I’m going to say a few things.

Look, I have the biggest and best-known narrative boner for ships that are basically competitive assholes whose bond is forged in the fire of the most high-stakes atmospheres imaginable and both of these ships definitely qualify, but like, in totally different ways? But god, I am consumed with Jamie/Charlie thoughts lately because they’re just so goddamn sweet. Like, as sweet as a ship like that could be. Good boys who want to be assholes and are trying their best but still really like each other and have each other’s backs, ugh. I have all these feelings about Charlie harboring this secret crush on Jamie for months that he thinks is totally hidden and he thinks he’s being so suave, and it actually completely shocks him when Jamie kisses him during a time of great stress and pressure? Because, uh? He didn’t know he was being so obviously? But oh my god it’s Jamie and he’s so tall and smart and looks like Superman and anyway he’s going to give himself permission to give into this because, uh, it’s good, it’s very good, he can love this and let this happen.

And on the other end of the spectrum – god, my kingdom for finance bros in love Porter/Danny, Danny with his cockeyed optimism and obsession with trying new restaurants and ability to get under Porter’s skin and keep him from being too cynical all the time, and Porter hates that Danny has that gift but also it’s kind of nice to not be so angry and guarded and snarky all the time, it’s nice to have someone go out of his way to make him laugh and make him do new things. God, I’m sorry, it’s just – it’s canon, they went on a date at the end! They found love in a hopeless place! Anyway they have a house upstate now and a massive Great Dane loping around their big Duane Street luxury high-rise and they push each other to be better and more competitive and make each other better in private and it’s just. It’s my favorite dynamic. Uggghhhh.

@lizdexia Well, your Insurance series literally gave me life so I understand and 100% respect your boner.

YES. I can’t help but think of Jamie being entirely oblivious to just how attractive and charming he can be. Where Charlie is all nerves and skittishness, Jamie is calm and content. Even though they both want the money, power, and glory (p.s. uhm that is the song for any ship in this damn movie) they want each other more. Not entirely in a romantic or sexual sense, but they’ve grown so accustomed having the other around and knowing that they’re always in this, together, it’s nearly impossible for either of them to think of the other not being there.

Also, yes “good boys who want to be assholes,” who become good boy assholes. They’re assholes to those who deserve it and have had it coming. They witnessed, first hand, what tacit approval and blind corruption can do. It nearly broke the world. After their big short, their done with that...sort of. So rather than manipulate the manipulated, they manipulate the manipulators. Like they’re not only becoming more incredible traders and investors, but they’re becoming greater, maybe even better than Mark Baum, at finding the massive amounts of bullshit on Wall Street. But for them the most important thing is that they’re doing it together. I feel like it’s an ‘everyone knows but them’ type thing. They’re both pining so hard and neither of them sees it. But it’s good because they’re good and they’re on a winning streak and are working too much to even notice anything besides the endless numbers on endless pages.

Until one day, a really “up shit’s creek without a paddle” day, they lose and they lose big. It won’t kill them, hell, after their biggest trade, it won’t even make a dent, but it hurts. It always hurts to lose, but this time they lost to the bastards that have been swindling innocent people for years. Their loss is incomparable to the thousands that will lose their jobs, homes, families, and whatever else the heartless pieces of shit on Wall Street decide to take. When it’s done, they’re apart from one another for the longest time since they moved all the ratty, comfortable furniture into the small and stuffy garage, Jamie’s chocolate lab he’s only confidant. Jamie eventually convinces himself that they can’t let their first setback, not matter how large, stop them. He goes to Charlie, not only because he needs to just be with him, to make sure he’s okay, but because Charlie is the only one that knows. He’s always known exactly what to say, exactly what to do.

Jamie’s almost always felt something more than friendship since Charlie first offered to help Jamie “diversify his portfolio.” Jamie thought the excitable guy was trying to hit on him so he’d said yes, but when Charlie got into dividends and return rates, he realized the cute dork, touching his glasses too much, was serious. The rest is history, Jamie’s always felt something for Charlie, but there was always something, too much work, too much risk, too many other people in their lives. But now? Now it was just them. No interference, no numbers, no work. Just them. Jamie realizes he hasn’t truly been with Charlie, alone, for a very long time. It’s easier to ignore repressed feelings when their lives revolve around work, but now their lives are revolving around one another’s despair and Jamie has nowhere to hide anymore.

Neither does Charlie.

But unlike Jamie, Charlie doesn’t repress. No anything he’s ever felt has been at the forefront of his thoughts since he was born. Of all the emotions he feels three the most: anger, excitement, and love. Right now all three are rushing through his veins and consuming him. He’s angry for losing, for all the bastards that get a nice payday while people loses their lives because he made a mistake, moved too quickly, didn’t sell at the right time. He’s excited because it’s been three days and he’s finally able to lay eyes on Jamie. He’s angry that he’s excited. Above all else, he feels a rush of unadulterated love for Jamie because he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t try to pry or bring Charlie out of the shell he recedes into whenever he feels like a failure. Jamie just drops a greasy pizza and cold six pack on the floor and they eat and drink in comfortable silence until Charlie starts talking. He doesn’t stop, going on and on about corruption and pressure and concepts of time and eventually works himself into, what Jamie know will be a horrible panic attack. And Jamie…he’s tired and emotional drained and he just wanted regular Charlie, not existential Charlie. He’s also had more than his fair share of the six pack, Charlie never really had a taste for beer, so he’s not functioning at his regular level. By the time the idea is fully formed in his head Jamie already has his fingers curling against the back of Charlie’s hair, thumbs caressing the high cheekbones. He enjoys the shock and stammering from Charlie for half a moment before pressing his lips gently against his best friend’s. He expects so many things, anger, rejection, or even ridicule. After pining for Charlie for so long Jamie just savors and commits to memory every single sensation he can. The last, very last thing he expected was for Charlie to push him against the wall and kiss back with a fervor and heat that could rival any fire. When they finally pull apart, lips bruised and bright red, they’re wearing matching smiles. Charlie steps back and holds out his hand as he gestures, not to the bedroom, but to his office. Their work wasn’t done, was never done, but they were going to do what they did best and they were going to do it, together.

YEAH uhm this got away from me on my lunch break but I just have SO MUCH to say about them and Porter/Danny and my coworkers think I’m weird because I was giggling and smiling because these two are so cute and sweet, but still angry and vicious in the chaotic good way they always are.

LASTLY, please don’t get me started on fucking Uncle Ben who, when they tell him they’re together, talks about chakras and getting them “seeds for their garden,” before berating them about the financial and spiritual value of composting.

AND very lastly, should we discuss Danny/Porter now because they need their own discussion :D

#lizdexia #the big short #like i would've written more but work likes to stifle me #anyway #let's discuss #my writing #?#sort of #replies

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fragraham-blog · 6 years

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Take pleasure in Him Or Depart Him?

Eleven Sincere Inquiries To Inquire Oneself About Your Romance

If you are like me, your ladies are your go-to. They provide trend recommendations: “Seriously? That best with that skirt? No.” They provide exercise assistance: “I assume if we start off engaging in two-a-days right up until the weekend, we’ll seem like Victoria’s Secret versions by Saturday.” Most significantly, they provide lifestyle suggestions: “Quit your task. Let’s be gypsies.”

Your women are over just mates; they're your soul sisters. Sadly, they can be regularly hopeless romantics and "Sex and also the City"-addicted adore zombies, so it could be very difficult for them to assist you truly assess your present relationships without having supplying you with the black and white possibility to “love him or depart him.”

Fortunately for you personally, I'm prepared to be the buddy you require for when you have reached a romantic relationship fork inside the street, or possibly, just desire a actuality verify just before generating the most beneficial (or quite possibly, worst) determination of the existence.

I feel in really enjoy over I feel in anything at all else inside the globe. I also think as well many individuals settle for the reason that they do not inquire themselves the challenging concerns they must prior to they make the “love him or depart him” choice.

Right here are individuals eleven queries:

one. Does he deliver out the most beneficial in you? Most of us possess elegance and feel it or not, all of us also possess unsightly. The particular person with whom you select to invest the remainder of your daily life must magnify your strengths and stability out your weaknesses. He need to make you are feeling like not merely the ideal edition of on your own, however the truest edition, too.

For those who needed to summarize oneself in just 5 characteristics, what would you like them to become? Now, believe regarding the characteristics that your sizeable other brings out in you. Do they align? How would he describe you? Once the characteristics you strive to possess turn into the characteristics you possess, genuine harmony gets to be achievable.

two. Does he make you desire to be a greater person/friend/sister/employee? I’ve realized that whenever we truly feel fulfilled and accepted specifically as we're, we have a tendency to grow to be improved versions of ourselves. Once we truly feel unappreciated and misunderstood, we struggle to exist as we're. Real happiness fills hearts with a lot joy that it overflows to the relationships that surround us.

Have your relationships outdoors within the 1 together with your latest spouse flourished or suffered seeing that you have been with each other? The really like of one's daily life will want you to nurture relationships which can be significant for you as an alternative to demand your total and undivided interest.

When you uncover on your own skipping out on girls’ nights, missing your nephew’s t-ball video games and creating excuses for leaving relatives dinners early given that you have been produced to really feel guilty for not investing all your time along with your important other, it may be time for you to reassess.

three. Does he make the ordinary seem to be extraordinary? Just about every individual includes a distinctive viewpoint from the suitable date, the ideal way for you to devote a weekend as well as a fantasy trip location, but on the subject of day-to-day routines, how can you devote your time?

Do you check out collectively, go on adventures with each other and, most significantly, like carrying out every day duties collectively, this kind of as likely to the grocery keep or folding your laundry?

Some might possibly laugh at this query, however the rest of one's daily life may be a prolonged time for you to invest with somebody you do not get pleasure from engaging in the mundane with. It is remarkable simply how much alot more enjoyable “chores” is often if you are executing them with anyone you really enjoy.

four. Does he make you are feeling secure? When it is good to truly feel protected together with the comfort of beefy arms, the security to which I'm referring requires your emotions and feelings.

Does he make you are feeling harmless as soon as you want to share some thing that is been in your thoughts, reassess a circumstance that occurred at function or after you just will need somebody to pay attention? Does he make you are feeling secure to chase your dreams and find out your passions?

Women and men are incredibly diverse and have a tendency to manage feelings rather in a different way; nevertheless, there's some thing for being stated about a guy who chooses to pay attention, tries to comprehend and safeguard your emotions.

five. Does he make you laugh? This may well be a single with the most critical queries. Daily life is way also quick to devote it becoming major and there is certainly practically nothing far better than laughing right up until your abdomen cramps with someone that demonstrates a weirdness just like your personal.

We're all weird and goofy and all of us possess the capability for being fully hilarious inside the eyes of someone that appreciates our distinct type of humor.

The bottom line is lifestyle is superior when you are laughing. What superior solution to establish if you are together with the correct particular person than to request oneself, “Does he make me laugh?”

six. Do you like speaking to him? We concentrate a lot around the location that we commonly fail to observe each of the ways it took to arrive. The leading with the mountain may perhaps be lovely, however the conversation within the hike up helps make the journey worthwhile.

Pick out to devote your days with anyone you can actually discuss with about something and nevertheless come to feel as if there is alot more left to say.

I constantly truly feel unhappy when I see a couple at a restaurant staring blankly at every single other in silence, swirling their straws within their glasses, as if there is certainly practically nothing left to examine. Existence is way as well prolonged to fill it with compact speak.

seven. Does he calm your storms or generate your storms? The take pleasure in of the existence ought to be your heart’s resting area. The security inside the chaos, rainbow following the rain and also the man or woman you already know you are going to depart feeling considerably better than while you begun.

All as well commonly, many people get caught in relationships that generate extra storms within their lives and shell out the entire romantic relationship looking to calm them.

Lifestyle is tricky ample since it is. We shouldn’t really have to invest our days in relationships that only make it more difficult. When you have had a poor day, to whom do you flip? Whenever you cry, who wipes away the tears? The enjoy of one's existence will need to devote a lot more time bringing sunshine as an alternative to rain for your existence. eight. Do you respect one particular an additional? Respect is amongst the most critical characteristics to possess within a partnership. In the event you respect anyone, you might possible not embarrass him in front of other folks.

When you respect an individual, you might pick out to come immediately to him if you possess a issue, as an alternative to speaking about it to almost everyone else initially.

Arguments stick to a very much a lot more constructive highway when respect is existing.

9. Do you battle precisely the same way? Absolutely everyone includes a favored technique for fighting and it is crucial which you as well as your sizeable other are compatible in conflict resolution. It is going to not generally be rainbows and butterflies and issues will come up.

If two folks desire to “fight” in absolutely opposite techniques, it might not perform inside the extended run. A lot of people desire to have heated, scream it out and say important things they’ll regret later on on in an effort to come to feel understood.

Lots of people shut down totally and need to have time for you to neat off and feel about important things, when many others have to have to examine the condition at once and come to feel harm when their spouse says he wants a while or area.

Many people desire to sit down and also have lengthy discussions about every single small detail of the circumstance just before they really feel improved, though others would rather just forgive and overlook and move forward. It is significant to inquire by yourself the way you deal with conflicts together with the folks you enjoy.

ten. Does he challenge you? All as well generally, people today develop into complacent in relationships. Does your romance challenge you mentally, physically and intellectually? Do you're feeling as if you find out from every single other, develop with a single a different and also have progressed each individually and collectively because you might have been with each other?

The appreciate of the existence will fuel your passions in order that you may pursue the elements you get meaningful and can challenge you to find out new abilities the two of you possibly can pursue with each other.

eleven. Is he really good on paper or is he beneficial in particular person? Do you really like HIM or even the Thought of him? It is so simple to produce a picture of your best guy, only to notice the individual in our minds does not exist. Be patient together with your heart and bear in mind of the emotions.

For anybody who is forcing it, justifying it or always searching for approval for it, it may not be the ideal romantic relationship to suit your needs. Really do not waste time seeking to make sense of one's really enjoy, but rather, watch for the really like that just tends to make sense.

simpatia para conquistar um homem rápido

https://diigo.com/0balh7

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