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#and my eyes cant process whats happening during those frames
traaanskimkitsuragi · 2 years
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i consider celeste and hollow knight both masterpieces in the sense that they arent literally perfect (both have some major flaws that made it significantly difficult for me to get through certain sections and somewhat soured the experience) but at the same time i feel like theyre as close to perfect as a videogame is going to get. like, no piece of media will ever be truly, genuinely perfect, but ive never encountered another game that got so close.
#disco elysium is another game that got really close but the flaws got a bit much for me so i dont hold it in quite as high a regard#and technically i have less beef w celeste even though i prefer hollow knight#celestes major sins are its tutorials and some more lackluster accessibility#i appreciate that theres considerable effort but it does need to be better#it needs to explain itself more either by fixing the existing tutorials or adding an optional manual you can read#things like hitboxes are so confusing at times and it makes for an experience where i straight up dont understand why i keep dying#until i eventually figure it out and im like 'well why didnt you just tell me that so i didnt waste an hour trying the same thing'#also the camera isnt great#in larger rooms it often suddenly jerks to the side while youre moving#and my eyes cant process whats happening during those frames#and a lot of times im in the middle of maneuvering through spikes and stuff??#so it just causes me to lose track of my character and i inevitably get hit#i literally just have to rely on muscle memory to memorize positionings and timings because i genuinely cant see whats happening#which needless to say isnt great#if i turned on assist mode i could probably slow down game speed to help but that shouldnt be the only option#it should be a visual setting#(also in regards to visuals its very hard to make out hazards sometimes like they just blend into the bg)#hollow knight has a lot more issues and in terms of accessibility it sucks absolute ass#but at least there are mods if youre on pc that can help w a lot of the issues#esp w stuff like visibility in the radi fight#do i wish the game itself had more options?? yes absolutely#but also team cherry have basically been working on hk and silksong nonstop afaik so its less negligence and more just time constraints#i do hope silksong is better in this regard tho since they have no deadlines w it#edit: OH ALSO. CELESTE HAS RLLY BAD 'EXPLORATION'#searching for the collectibles isnt fun and the game is really awful at hinting at them
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sweetsubharry · 3 years
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hi! do you have any fic recs of like really fluffy one shots
Hiya!! yes I do!! Aren’t they just the best sometimes?? Sorry this took me a few days to do! I had over 260 fics to go through on ao3 just under fluff (I really need to tidy my bookmarks!)  💖 There’s 79 in this list so it’s a long one!! ^-^
please stay safe and read the tags everyone! :)
freeze this moment in a frame and stay like this by rosesau
Harry (not so) secretly crushes on the cute footie player and fills pages with sketches of him.
Thunder started it by booloveshiscuppycake
Harry's always been scared of thunder storms. But louis' always been there to comfort him. Friendship and comfort turn into love. (Fluffy as shit)
but he cant be what you need (if he's eighteen) by lingerielarries
“I need you to do something for me.” Harry said, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger.
“It seems like you’re asking me to kill for you, H.” Louis laughed nervously.
“It’s nothing that drastic, I promise. It’s just. I don’t think it’s a secret that I’m not a.. normal eighteen year old.” Louis furrowed his eyebrows at that, narrowing his eyes at the younger boy.
“Are people giving you a hard time?” Louis wondered. Harry shifted in his seat and brushed some of his fringe off his forehead.
“Yeah, that’s. That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.” Harry swallowed nervously. He could feel the sweat pooling at his hairline so he wiped it with the sleeve of his sweater. “I need you to uhm, pretend to be my boyfriend.”
or
the one where harry is sick of getting bullied and casts louis as the hot punk boyfriend to scare them away. louis needs harry to return the favor.
punk!louis and flowerchild!harry
the love is ours to make (so we should make it) by lingerielarries
“I’m.. Harry. I nanny? For Ernest and Doris?” Harry responded.
“A nanny? How old even are you? You look twelve.” Louis remarked. Something caught Louis’ eye, and a closer look revealed that Harry had a coat of pink nail polish on his fingers.
“Nineteen. I’m nineteen.” Harry replied.
“Right. Nineteen, wears pink, flower crowns and paints his nails. Who the actual fuck did my mum hire?”
or
the one where louis takes some time off from life to return home, only to be met with a strange boy in pink and a flowercrown as the nanny of his siblings.
All I See is You by ElegantSurrender
Even with the blood gushing from his nose, he couldn’t keep his thoughts on anything but the boy in front of him. He was just so… pretty. He smiled to himself, which only seemed to worry his boyfriend more.
“Why’re you smiling?” Louis asked confusedly, moving Harry’s bloody hand away, and replacing it with his, pinching his nose shut with a tissue. “You’re bleeding, and you’re fucking smiling.”
“Seeing you makes me happy.”
(or the one where Harry has a bloody nose and Louis takes care of him, and Harry really really loves Louis)
Pretty Blue Eyes (I don't care about the nightmares) by justgotowisharder
Harry has nightmares, Louis hates sharing the bed, they end up talking about dreams, they read Freud and they fall in love in the process.
Breathe by dontlietomehoney
Harry has an asthma attack and Louis is scared to death. What follows after though, scares both boys, pulling them apart and bringing them together.
with your love we could breathe underwater by luminescents
Harry’s brow furrows, a look of confusion spreading over his face. “But I am real. I exist, see,” he says, raising a hand out of the water and wiggling his fingers at Louis.
Louis finds himself relaxing a bit. Harry seems harmless really. And he’s quite cute, for something that’s not supposed to exist. If Louis is indeed having a hallucination right now, at least it’s a cute one.
AU where Harry is a mermaid, Louis is a human, and they both discover a lot more than they anticipated.
yes, you make my life worthwhile by orphan_account
Harry whispers to him that this feels like every dream he’s had for the last three years and Louis kisses his temple, behind his ear, across his cheeks and by the edge of his jaw. He runs the back of his finger across Winnie’s sleep-warm cheeks and sighs, the weight of the world finally off his shoulder.
Louis' a pediatrician, Harry's a preschooler teacher, and they're having a baby.
Weigh Us Down (We're In Love) by orphan_account
Harry’s eyes widen slightly at that. “We’re friends?”
Louis nods eagerly, smiling even wider. “Of course we are! You’re like, my first ever friend here. We just moved in, you see. Did I already tell you about that? Anyway! Maybe you can stay for dinner and I can show you my toys?”
Harry smiles. “You’ll let me play with you?”
Louis nods again, excited. “Of course!” He looks thoughtful for a moment, and then he’s slipping off the couch and crouching in front of Harry. “Oh, and Mum always kisses my wounds after she fixes them up. It makes me feel loads better all the time, so.” He leans forward and puckers his lips, pressing them over the bandage on Harry’s knee.
(harry and louis first meet when they’re eight and ten. this is their story throughout the years.)
Breathe by Jade_eyed
Can you write a Larry high school AU where Harry's a sophomore and Louis' his senior boyfriend and Harry's being bullied during class and has a panic attack and all he's saying is 'Louis' so someone goes into louis' classroom and gets him and louis' like freaking out when he finds out and just really fluffy and stuff i just need this okay
[ I changed it a bit , I'm sorry babe I tried. :( ]
Cause If You Let Me, Here's What I'll Do by stylesforstiles
Five times where Harry is Louis' baby
Zero Means Nothing When I'm With You by StripedAndBowtied
Louis doesn't know what he's looking for until he finds it.
Harry just knows he may defy his gender norms, with his height and clumsiness, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want litters of pups running around while he does domestic things all day long.
In other words, boy meets boy and no one can stop pining.
All my senses come to life by erikaeurekajoe
And it was true. Harry's senses were all coming to life, on overdrive in fact because a handsome blue-eyed stranger was holding his hands.
Because of Louis Tomlinson's Arse by AggressiveStress
One in which Harry is a clumsy Uni student that first sees Louis leaning over, picking up his things with his arse very prominent. Harry then falls down the stairs and Louis- wearing a nice little beanie- helps him back to his feet.
In All Its Imperfections by BriaMaria
From: Louis Tomlinson To: Undisclosed Recipients
Hello!
I’ve asked the front desk and you lovely folks are the ones who are on the same level as me in the car park. I found a to-do list today that looked somewhat important because it has lines of poetry scribbled at the bottom that seemed like they might be for a card project. The stationary has a moose in a canoe at the top of it (and he is quite adorable). Let me know if it’s yours!
Cheers!
“Oh. My. Fucking. God,” Harry whispered, his eyes darting over the sentences again willing them not to make sense. They did, they did make sense. “Oh. My. Bloody. Fucking. God.”
The next thing he knew he was on the floor, staring at the ceiling, with a very concerned Liam hovering over his head.
"What happened, mate?" Liam asked.
Harry just pointed to his computer.
Liam bent over Harry’s desk to read the email. “What? This isn’t bad. Is that your to-do list? Did you finally come up with the inside text for those cards?”
“Leeyum" he groaned. “It’s what’s on the list.”
“Oh,” Liam paused for a beat. “Is it dirty stuff?”
Harry nodded.
There was more silence. And then, “Dirty stuff with Louis?”
Delirious in Love by yourpricelessadvice (orphan_account)
Louis is there for Harry waking up from minor surgery; he wouldn't miss it for the world. For two reasons.
Stars Will Align For Us by 2tiedships2
"The serial monogamist is single," Niall said by way of introduction when he sat down across from Harry in the canteen.
Harry sipped his chocolate milk. "What are you going on about?"
"Your alpha dream boat," Niall said. "That tiny little footie player? I heard from Hannah that he's broken it off with his boyfriend so he’s single and ready to flamingle. Now's the time to make your move."
Harry sipped his chocolate milk harder to keep himself from replying.
Or the one where Harry is an omega at a loss of how to get past his pining and gain the attention of Louis...especially considering the alpha is always in a relationship.
(twenty minutes later) wound up in the hospital by callmelover
“Baby, I think a quick trip to A&E might do you some good, hm?” Louis keeps his voice as calm as possible. He doesn't want to startle Harry or make him scared, but he knows that Harry’s fever is too high and he can't risk Harry choking himself into another attack when he's so poorly.
He hears a sharp intake of breath come for Harry and he knows Harry is starting to panic. Louis moves his hand from Harry's hair to his back, rubbing circles into his sweat-soaked shirt.
“No, no. Shh, don't worry, darling. Everything is okay, you’ll be okay. I just know that the doctors will be able to make you feel much better much sooner than I can...Just want you to get healthy as soon as possible, okay?”
-
or the one where harry has the flu and louis is a protective, nervous-wreck of a boyfriend
You live in my heart by styleztomlinson
As soon as they’re done with their set, Louis only has one thing on his mind and that’s to get out of there as soon as possible.or,Harry is sick during their performance at the iHeartRadio festival. Afterwards, Louis takes cares of his baby, and dotes on his husband.
Take Care by secretlylarry
Louis really does love to take care of Harry when he's sick.
if we got nothing, we got us by tumsa
Harry is Louis' baby and he's sick as well.
Peppermint and Lavender (and Coffee) by 2tiedships2
“He was there again,” Louis announced by way of greeting. “Lottie was right and she can never know.”
"What the fuck are you talking about?” Niall asked as he snapped his laptop closed.
“The omega, Niall. He was there today. Just sitting in the corner looking pretty. Or at least his back is. He hasn’t turned around when I’m available to see. I know he’s beautiful though.”
"Okay?” Niall questioned. “What does that have to do with Lottie?”
Louis let out a huff. "She told me I shouldn’t work at a coffee shop. She was right.”
Or the one where Louis might have met the love of his life in a coffee shop. But that’s not how it’s supposed to happen.
So Long I've Been Waiting by kikikryslee
Niall held up his glass in a toast. “Cheers.” Harry stared at Louis as he brought the glass up to his lips, unsure of what to do. It wasn’t like he could refuse the drink, but he certainly didn’t want to have any champagne. Louis monitored everyone else, and as soon as they all had their heads tilted back, drinking their mimosa, he reached out and knocked Harry’s glass right out of his hand, sending it crashing to the floor. “Oh, no!” Louis pretended to be shocked at what had just happened. “Harry, you’re so clumsy. You dropped your glass.” “Yes,” Harry said seriously. “I am very clumsy.” --- Or, the one where Harry and Louis are having their first baby, and keeping it a secret until the end of the first trimester is a lot harder than they thought it would be.
Nothing's Gonna Stop Me But Divine Intervention by kikikryslee
“So… what’s next on the soul mate search?” Louis asked. “I don’t know,” Harry answered. “Whatever I’m doing isn’t working. I’m not finding him anywhere.” “He’ll get here. I know it." “Yeah. I know he’s out there somewhere; I just have to figure out where.” --- Or, the soul mate AU where Harry overthinks everything having to do with finding the love of his life, and Louis doesn't think there's a Mr. Right for him at all. It takes them a while to realize that their soul mate is the person they want it to be: each other.
We Made These Memories for Ourselves by supernope
Breath held, Harry squints his eyes open and focuses on the first stick. A blue line. Harry breathes out an unsteady breath. He’s pretty sure he read that one blue line is a negative, but he fishes the box from the bottom of the pile just to make sure.
“Negative,” he confirms, voice echoing around the small room. “Next.”
Now that he’s feeling a little less shaky, he scans the rest of the tests at once, is met with a headache-inducing mixture of pink plus signs and blue double lines. His heart rate picks up until it’s pounding triple-time in the base of his throat and the pit of his stomach, thundering in his ears and throbbing in his temples. He flips over the rest of the boxes slowly, but he knows what they’re going to say before he even looks.
[or, Louis is a footballer, Harry owns a bakery, and they're having a baby.]
taken by the wind by scrunchyharry
When he decided to move to London with his sister, Harry thought he would finally get to learn how to control his magic. He couldn't possibly have predicted that he would fall for her neighbour.
Or the one where Harry is a clumsy witch and Louis is making everything worse just by existing.
Piece by Piece by SadaVeniren
He rubbed his hand over his lower stomach and closed his eyes. Louis was going to lose his fucking mind.
(aka Harry tells Louis he's pregnant and it goes as expected)
And We Linger On by stylesforstiles
Harry is pouting. Louis takes care of him
There's a Hole In My Soul, Can You Fill It? by stylesforstiles
Sometimes Harry is so tired. Louis always wants to fix it.
one glance and the avalanche drops by Wankerville
It's strange, honestly, having someone so gorgeous in his kitchen, and not only physically gorgeous, but, like, the everything else gorgeous. The type of gorgeous that Louis wants his life to always be covered in. The type of gorgeous he wants lying in sweatpants and an old t-shirt on his couch when he gets home from class. The type of gorgeous he wants to have shoving crisps down the front of his shirt. The type of goddamn gorgeous he wants to kiss, and coddle, and like, love.
Which is ridiculous- he doesn't know him. Pfft.
(or an au wherein louis buys a christmas tree and harry is the boy in leggings who delivers it. they are a christmas classic.)
Do Not Falter (There's a Star Ahead) by LadyLondonderry
It's Christmas Eve, and every single one of Louis' family members are crowded inside his little flat. Really, what more could he ask for on his birthday?
The present he never knew he wanted - in the form of an omega from his past - might just make this his most memorable Christmas.
Right Here Waiting by lovelarry10
Louis and Harry are expecting a baby. Harry's heavily pregnant and nesting madly, determined to make their home ready for their baby.
Blow Out the Candles, Baby by iwillpaintasongforlou
Louis' been planning Harry's 20th birthday party for weeks, and Harry's too sick to move. Louis might be the kind of sap who tries to nurse him back to health with cuddles and jokes and cupcakes for two.
Never Let You Fall by iwillpaintasongforlou
Harry slips on stage and gets a minor concussion, and Louis insists that he spend the night in the hospital just in case. He then turns into a protective baby lion because that is his Harry and he'll be damned if anything happens to him on Louis' watch. Harry rolls his eyes a lot but doesn't really mind.
Asthma and Bad Jokes by Larry_Klaine_Stylinson
When Harry has an asthma attack on stage, Louis has to go and help him. He leaves Niall in charge of keeping the audience entertained.
All I Need is Oxygen (and You) by lululawrence
There are only two ways to navigate Bloomfield High School: become popular or make yourself invisible.
With the help of his best mate Niall, Harry’s introduction to high school hadn’t been half bad. Despite being a “bandie” – the lowest of the low in the ancient hierarchy of high school –Harry had somehow managed to survive freshman year relatively unscathed. So naturally, Harry would have been perfectly happy to resume his position of invisible trombone player number four for the remainder of high school. But one day something drastic happened, something that would change the course of Harry’s entire existence (probably).
It was the last football game of his freshman year, and the band was back in the stands after performing a rousing rendition of Bloomfield’s alma mater during half time. Harry was gracelessly wiping the slobber from the mouthpiece of his trombone when he saw him.
Louis Tomlinson.
Or...a High School AU where Harry is a bandie and Louis is the epitome of cool, so naturally, Harry must find a way to get his attention and win his affections.
i’d burn this city down to show you the light by you_explode
Harry's a sheltered rich kid and Louis's a punk with a heart of gold. They meet when Louis breaks into Harry's house, Harry obtains an instant and all-encompassing crush, and they spend the summer falling into a whirlwind romance.
put your head on my shoulder by wayfared
Niall gives Harry until the end of marching season to either a) make a move on Louis Tomlinson or b) get the fuck over him. Either is easier said than done. Basically, your High School AU with a drum beat.
we should get jerseys, 'cause we make a good team by ellisaco
Harry's not very good at football, but he's aces at cheering Louis on.
Snow by hlftanna
Louis hid something from him. Harry was 100% sure of that. He knew him better than he knew himself. And. He. Hid. Something. From. Him. Harry just hasn't figured out what. Because if Louis wanted to hide something from anyone he usually succeeded because he was Louis Tomlinson.
Use Your Words by zedi
based off this prompt: collage au where jock!harry always serenades flowercrown!louis with love songs in their music class. what nobody knows is that harry actually kinda means the words he sings.
But instead it's Louis as the jock and Harry as the flowerchild because I do what I want.
see the truth (it's me for you) by orphan_account
If you asked Louis the first day of his French Literature class what he’d be doing on the last, he’d probably never have guessed it would involve helping a poorly Harry Styles study for the final exam. Good thing he’s not a betting man.
(Or the one where Louis and Harry spend an entire semester ignoring each other after a one-night stand, only to come face to face when Harry manages to catch the stomach flu during finals week. Sometimes fate is funny like that.)
calling out for somebody to hold tonight by heartinsidemine
“Dunno why I can’t sleep,” is the first thing Harry says into the still, quiet night.
“New flat, new noises,” Louis murmurs, finally setting the kettle on the stove and turning properly toward him. “New responsibilities, too, eh? Second year, you’re working your way up in the world.”
Harry rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “Nothing’s really new, though, is it? I mean, the location, but… I’ve got the same job I had last year, same basic courses, same workload…” He sighs out, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“You and me are in the same boat, though,” Louis murmurs to him. He hates seeing Harry like this, even though rationally he knows that he can’t do anything about Harry’s insomnia. “Finding it difficult to sleep myself. Was gonna turn on the telly, maybe the cooking channel until I fall asleep. Care to join me?”
He doesn’t think twice about the offer before making it; it only makes sense. They’re both exhausted and they both sleep better with a cuddle, and anyway Louis would absolutely rather have a conversation partner than only the walls of his room for company.
Running Down To The Riptide by sweaterpawstyles
"I can't give you your present yet, Lou."
Louis furrowed his brows. "And why is that, my love?"
Harry smiled at his lap. "Because your present is under my sweater," he pulled his free hand that wasn't laced with Louis' and gently laid it on his stomach. "I'm pregnant."
Or
It's New Year's Eve and Harry has a surprise under his sweater
Song For The Springtime by sunshiner
“Cherry blossoms,” Harry mumbles. “The solution’s cherry blossoms.”
Uni AU.
the happiest place in our universe by tippytoetomlinstyles
Harry holds Louis’ hand and looks around at all the exciting and beautiful things and Louis looks at him because he finds him the most beautiful and exciting thing there is.
or the one where Louis takes Harry to Disneyland and Harry convinces Louis to wear Mickey Mouse ears to match his Minnie Mouse ears.
Made From Love by lovelarry10
It's almost Christmas, and amongst the preparations, Louis' realised something about his husband Harry.
Harry, however, seems to be oblivious.
Louis' determined to open Harry's eyes and make him realise the real magic that's happening this Christmas...
Another Constellation to Trace by screwstyles
Louis wiggles his eyebrows. “I’m winning that bet.”
“What bet?” comes Niall’s excited voice from behind them, followed by footsteps. “I wanna be in on the bet!” he shouts, prompting Harry to quickly roll down his shirt sleeve and straighten his shirt where it’s still crinkly after Louis’ hands.
Niall takes one look at them and purses his lips in a tight line. “Were you guys making out again? Isn’t the fire meant to die down a bit after eight years?”
“Trust me, the fire is still very much alive,” Louis winks at Harry. “One could even say it’s cooking something.”
-
Mpreg AU: Louis and Harry bet on who can keep Harry's pregnancy a secret for longer. Neither of them is particularly good at it, and it doesn't help that their soulmate tattoos make it even harder.
another pair of feet by honey_beeing
where Harry is pregnant and Louis is an oblivious idiot.
We Were Made to Love by supernope  
“Everything all sorted? Need help with the buckles? I know they’re a bit tricky in this compartment.”
The voice startles Louis out of his daze, and he turns toward the voice to let him know he figured it out. When he catches sight of the owner of the voice, though, his response dies in his throat. Whatever he had imagined the conductor of a children’s train that rides around the shopping centre in Leeds would look like, this is certainly not it.
Leaning through the window, arms folded across the sill, is a green-eyed angel with cherry red lips stretched wide in a smile and dimples flirting in his cheeks. A black conductor’s hat is the only confirmation that this is not some gorgeous stranger who’s come to flirt with Louis through the window of a children’s train, but is just a man doing his job.
[or, Harry drives a kiddie train in the shopping centre for the summer and is obsessed with babies, and Louis never stood a chance.]
here comes the sun by orphan_account
“Everything’s going to be fine,” Louis promises, his pink, chapped lips moving slowly in the cold. It matches the beanie on his head—pink, because they found out this morning that they’re having a girl and that’s just.
Harry’s going to be a dad. To a little girl. Five months from now he’ll be holding her in his arms, and she’ll be so lovely and small.
They’re going to have a spring baby and she’s probably going to have Louis’ eyes. What a blessing that would be. Harry crosses his fingers on the hand inside his pocket, hoping that she does. He’ll love her either way—blue or green or even brown eyes, it doesn’t matter—but he’d really like them to be blue, he thinks.
[Harry is a pediatric specialist, Louis is a neurosurgeon. All they want is a baby.]
So Put Your Hands In (The Holes of My Sweater) by Kat_rawr
“Are you gonna kiss me then?” He asks so quiet he isn’t even sure Louis heard him.
“I think it’s bad luck if I don’t.“ Louis’ breath is hot on Harry’s skin in the cold air. They stand in the dark; Louis’ face only lit up by the yellow-ish light from the street light a few metres away. The light over the door of their building hasn’t worked in years.
“Okay,” Harry says, and of course his cheeks heat up. There are definitely butterflies in stomach and his mouth is definitely dry.
or,
Harry and Louis go on a lot of not-dates
A Little Kind of Magic by Star55
A tiny tale of Louis' Very Important Birthday and Christmas at Hogwarts that Harry loves celebrating with his best friend whom he absolutely is not in love with. No matter what Niall says. (He's a little in love with Louis.)
it tastes like you, only sweeter by EmmyLouWho
Sometimes Harry hates being a second year, like when all his older friends get to go to Hogsmeade and he has to stay behind in the castle. Luckily, Harry has a Louis to make everything better.
For the prompt: “I’m not allowed to go to Hogsmeade but you always tell me stories about it and bring me candy from Honeydukes”
Sun-Dappled by QuickedWeen
Louis and his best friend Harry are in their seventh year at Hogwarts, facing down their future together. Louis has been in love with his best friend for as long as he can remember, and he begins to feel a sense of urgency as the second semester begins. Finally he hatches a plan to tell Harry about his feelings on Harry's birthday.
Sweet Like Sunshine by orphan_account
When Louis saves him from some seventh years bullying him on his lack of Quidditch skills, Harry takes offense. Louis offers to teach him to make up for it. They fall in love somewhere along the way.
Featuring one exasperated Niall, trips to Hogsmede and many flying sessions.
Follow Me Down This Time by supernope
Harry first noticed Louis in his second term at Hogwarts, and despite three years of inventing ways to stumble across Louis, he's never managed to actually work up the courage to speak to him. Also known as, self-indulgent Hogwarts AU, because every fandom needs Hogwarts AUs.
For Reasons Wretched and Divine by panicmoonwalk
Niall’s head was sitting in the fireplace, wide grin lighting up his features as flames licked the bright tips of his hair. Louis promptly dropped his tray at the sight.
“Bloody hell!” He yelled, half at the sudden appearance of Niall in the fire and half at the scalding cocoa he’d just dropped on his bare foot. “What are you doing?!”
Niall just continued to grin, clearly highly amused by Louis hopping on one foot and desperately trying to search for a weapon he could use to beat his friend’s head out of the fireplace.
“Well,” Niall began. “We’re going on an adventure!”
Or, the one where Louis and Harry’s Christmas holiday at Hogwarts is rudely interrupted when they’re dragged off on a tropical wizard’s vacation, featuring some angry centaurs, a spell gone wrong, and the ‘weirdest birthday anyone’s ever had. Ever’.
Loving with a Little Twist by hrrytomlinson
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know Niall! I just promised my mother I’m bringing my boyfriend - a boyfriend I don’t have - to Thanksgiving dinner. What should I do? I can’t call back and be like, ‘Oh yeah mom, that boyfriend I said that I have, I don’t actually have. Sorry to disappoint you.’ My life is ruined.” Harry returns to suffocating himself with the pillow.
Niall laughs and Harry growls at his best friend’s unwarranted happiness in this life-ending situation. Harry is fucked. Fuck. He needs a boyfriend. Fuck.
(or a thanksgiving themed fake/pretend relationship au)
everywhere (i wanna be with you) by itiswhatitisbutterfly
Harry and Louis meet because they have terrible friends, they fall in love because something feels right in a world of uncertainty and shifting grounds. Louis is an actor and Harry is a model at the top of his game, the best things in life are the most unexpected ones and the things that hit you when you are least expecting it.
Featuring winter in London, nights in Paris, early mornings in New York, burning heat in Monte Carlo and an enduring love spent transcending four corners of the globe.
on a wednesday, in a cafe by wreckedboyfriends
“What can I get for you today?” he asked without looking up, arranging the last of the pastries.
“Have any recommendations? Never been here before, actually.” Harry hit his head on the top of the case in his haste to look at the source of the voice. It was a really beautiful voice, small and high and just lovely, if a voice could be lovely. Harry thought so. “Alright, mate?” the man asked when Harry finally composed himself, rubbing the top of his head as he took his place at the register.
Harry opened his eyes, and fuck. If Harry had thought his voice was lovely, the man himself was on a whole other level. “Alright, mate?” He repeated and shit. Harry had been openly staring for quite awhile, hadn’t he?
“Yeah,” Harry replied, and it came out sounding like a semi trailer running over gravel. He cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he repeated. “Um, the cherry danish is quite good, I think. ’S my favorite.”
The man smiled. “One cherry danish it is, then.”
OR Harry’s spent the last year with six locks on his door, a pair of too-flamboyant boots buried in the back of his closet, and insecurity issues the size of a mammoth. Louis changes some of that, but Harry changes the most.
I Long For You by AnotherAnonymousWriter
Thirty minutes later, he's sat on a bench in Hyde Park with a book in his lap and a travel mug with hot tea in his hand. Not far from where he's sat, a group of boys are playing football and a bunch of children are chasing each other. Life is good.
Or at least, life is good until he hears a familiar “LOOK OUT!” and sees a football flying in the direction of his face.
And then everything is black.
(Harry gets hit in the head by various objects and falls for a boy with blue eyes.)
Let It Snow by thebrainisafunnyplace
Bakery owner Harry Styles is always cold, until he hires local university student, Louis Tomlinson to work as a cashier. When the storm of the year hits, the boys find themselves stuck together inside the bakery the night before Christmas Eve. Luckily, they have each other to keep warm.
everything i can arrange, every part of me you change by orphan_account
“Don’t you try that shit with me,” Niall spits the second he reaches Louis, pulling off the hood with force. “What the hell is this?” He plops down next to Louis on the empty bleacher and unceremoniously pushes a sheet of crumpled paper in his face.
Netflix and Chill Buddy Application
It’s like no matter how hard Louis tries, he can’t seem to run away from this stupid fucking flyer. All the girls (and some of the boys) in every one of his classes have been talking about it all week. It’s on every wall of every building on campus. Louis went for a jog last night and he nearly tripped and died over a loose one on the football track.
[Harry needs a big spoon and Louis refuses to let anyone steal his position. Based on this post.]
No words by becharlatan
Harry is a music student who never talks because he's a total introvert. Louis happens to bump into him by accident and as if like the constellations, the two have aligned their paths together despite their differences.
Sun Emoji Moon Emoji by mybeanieandme
For the prompt:
University!au: Harry works at a cafe as the busboy and Louis just really wants to get to know him. (Louis pines for an insecure Harry for a semester)
nonstop earthquake dreams of you by lumineres
And there's heat behind it, blazing, plasmatic, like stars crashing together, like an explosion in space, like a supernova, like a black hole--everything else sucked out of existence. There's no bed and there's no pillow and they're not lying down, just floating somewhere, somehow, and there's no room and there's no X Factor house and there's no Niall snuffling or Liam's deep, even breathing and there's no wind or traffic outside and there's no hum of the heating unit and it's all just Louis. All encompassingly Louis.
or, harry falls hard and finds louis already at the bottom
Kiss From A Rose by lovelarry10
Harry is the quiet one in the office no one ever notices. Until Louis does, that is. When notes start appearing on Harry’s desk, he ponders who is behind the kind words, oblivious to Louis’ attempts to get his attention...
Black Cat by lalune15
Inspired by this tumblr post (not asked or requested): fic where louis works at a haunted house jumping out at people and harry’s friends drag him along even though he doesn’t really like haunted houses. when louis jumps out to scare their group, harry freaks out and accidentally jumps into louis’s arms. louis just squeaks. harry ends up sitting there with louis the rest of his shift and totally doesn’t come back every night after that.
Be Mine, For Always by zams
Louis is happy when Harry is happy. That's what Louis wants, and so when Louis starts feeling weird when Harry cuddles with Liam, Zayn, or Niall instead of him, he keeps quiet. But the burning, uncomfortable feeling Louis gets deep in his stomach when he sees Harry contentedly nuzzling Liam's neck, or Harry's arms and legs tangled around Niall like an octopus, or Harry's face smushed in Zayn's stomach as Zayn plays with his hair only gets worse as the days go by.
Loosen Up My Buttons by softfonds
The beautiful man opened this bakery about a year ago. He remembered the exact day he came: a glum, rainy morning in the middle of February, which instantly turned brighter the minute he saw him. The man had come in with some paint buckets and tools, and Louis doubted he would be able to fix up the drab place all by himself. But as he walked down the stairs at the end of the day and saw the man standing there in the middle of a gorgeous pink and white shop, clearly proud of his work, Louis fell in love at first sight. If only he knew how to talk to him.
Usually, Louis knew how to flirt. He prided himself on it. But every time he looked at the beautiful man, he completely forgot how to form sentences, and there was no way he could go up to him only to make a fool of himself. That was the last thing he needed.
Or, Louis owns a tattoo shop called Pretty in Ink, Harry owns a bakery called Rolling Scones, they haven't been introduced, and Valentine’s Day seems like the perfect opportunity to finally talk to the man Louis has been pinning over for the past year. And they both end up with more love than they bargained for.
Coffee Cups and Football Boots by kimtaedumb
Harry’s stood behind the counter again, but this time he’s painting his nails. Louis strolls up to the counter and, thanks to his no brain-to-mouth filter, blurts out, “Isn’t that a little girlish, Haz?” leaning closer to inspect.
Harry lets out a little huff as his hand slips, “Oh, damn, now I’ve messed it up,” he pouts and turns to Louis, “Why should making myself feel pretty be girly?”
Louis holds up his hands in surrender, “’M not judging, jus’ curious is all.”
(The entirely cheesy and cliché Christmas AU, in which Harry doesn’t give a damn what people think about him – mostly – and Louis may be a little bit in love.
Alternatively, the one in which Harry owns a café that’s barely scraping by and Louis is a footballer and he takes Harry away for Christmas.
Featuring Zayn as a cocky little shit that most definitely needs to be put back in his place, Niall as the loveable Irish dude who drinks too much and flirts with Zayn more than the average girl, and Liam who loves everyone but hates them all at the same time.)
you make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong by orphan_account
“Curly?” Louis says, stepping into Harry’s sight. “You okay?” Harry looks up from where he has two things in his hands, a thick winter coat sized for a newborn, and a sweatshirt fitting a grown man such as himself. He looks up at Louis, stricken, and holds them out for him to see. “They’re the same price,” he says. “They’re both forty dollars! Forty dollars for such little material.”
(or, Harry is pregnant and stops at the mall to buy cheap baby clothes. Louis has extra money from working a long shift, and he can't think of a better way to spend it than on him.)
you were the ocean, i was drawn into you by by orphan_account
where harry takes pictures and worries too much and louis plays guitar.
i'll be your sunflower by scagnetism
“What do you think’s gonna stop us now?” Harry says cheekily, laughter in his voice as he looks up at Louis. “Something’s gotta get in our way like always, doesn’t it?”
“Ha,” Louis grins, kissing his cheek and holding open the door for him as they make their way toward the car. “Nothing’s gonna interrupt us this time. ‘S gonna be perfect, just like Pumpkin.”
Or, a few interruptions aren't going to stop Harry from having a perfect pregnancy and having the family he and Louis have always dreamed of.
Send Me Your Pillow (The One That You Dream On) by flowercrownfemme
Harry is embarrassed to realize he's nesting but can't stop stealing Louis' things for his nest.
Short fluffy o/o gaybo drabble with lots of cuddles and softness and sock stealing <3
As one we are everything/We are everything we need by louloubaby92
Harry finally marries the love of his life. He's got the mating mark, he's got Louis' ring on his finger.
And now, he's on his honeymoon. Louis is but a door away, waiting for him.
Honestly, he doesn't understand why he's nervous.
only guilty of loving you by sweetrevenge
After Harry gets set up with his co-worker's alpha friend Louis, he's expecting some pleasant conversation, free dinner, and maybe a new friend. What he doesn't expect, however, is that Louis' arrival in his life begins a life of crime Harry never knew he had in him.
A You've Got Mail!AU with a twist.
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shadowturtlesstuff · 3 years
Text
you belong with me- thomas
this is thomas’s pov. i like doing both pov (i dont know if you can tell) but there are a few things im working on but enjoy!
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“How could-? Are you even hearing yourself speak you fool? No- no. God, you know what I'm done.” I throw my phone on the bed, scaring Sir Issac in the process. I cringe even as I begin pacing back and forth. It was truly absurd, utterly crazy, that William lived in such a world where he would ever consider me being with anyone but Audrey Rose. Whilst we weren’t together per say, it was clear there would be no one else for me. The fact that he had already caused trouble for us once makes this even more irritating. I turn and find Audrey Rose already watching me. Her hair disheveled in a messy bun which tells me she is studying or researching something. I give her what I hope classifies as a smile and watches as she pulls out a familiar notebook, searches for her pen and then writes: Are you okay?
Of course she would ask if I'm okay and not what happened; using our absurd way of talking to each other instead of using the window or even messaging me. I shake my head but smile and make my way towards my window. The wind hits me, sending my hair flying but I embrace the fresh air as I watch her move herself off her bed, cursing at her stiff legs. She has been there most of the day, not moving and lost in her work and music. She curses once more as she hits her elbow on the window sill and she looks truly adorable. “You have a wicked mouth Wadsworth. Did you not learn cursing is unlady-like?” I try to ignore the other thoughts I have of her mouth.
“Fuck you,” she scowls at me. It always makes me smile hearing her curse, she always sounds confident in them somehow, making them seem so real. The first time she swore was the time she failed a science test. Well, not exactly a fail, but she was marked wrong by a substitute teacher who didn't like her so she decided to berate him in front of the whole class, starting with her shouting ‘bullshit!’ as soon as she saw her results.
“I assume dear wadsworth, you want to ask what has made me so irate?” As much as I would rather climb across the gap and make her watch another one of my romance films again instead of talk about it, I know that I should. Otherwise it'll eat at my mind when I go to sleep. As well as it being used against wadsworth in some way too.
“Perhaps,” she says, eyes sparkling with mischief as she rests her head on the wall and brings her knees to her chest, “perhaps I merely wanted to ask if Sir Issac was okay.” I nearly burst out laughing at her. She has a love hate relationship with my cat. She pretends to hate the ‘beast’ but will often let him sit on her lap or pet him whenever she is over here. When I first got him, she stayed round mine for the night and we settled him. Even then she had tried to pretend not to like him but she doesn’t remember that she fell asleep with him curled up next to her. I had to sleep on my chair because they were sprawled out, surrounded by her work.
“Really? You always refer to him as a little pest, whereas as with me, I am your dearest person, of course you want to know how I am feeling. My son is good though, very energetic today.” Said cat brushes against me and I look at him, the memory still clear in my mind. Yet I know I need to stop avoiding the problem, Audrey Rose is too kind to push me into telling her, and will let me avoid it for as long as I need. It is not the worst thing we’ve faced yet I still hate it.  
“I assume you saw the call, well that was William,” she nods, her face already falling at the mention of his name, “Yes, awful. Apparently though, there is a rumor that I'm with Miss whitehall. I don't even remember her first name, but he was convinced of our relation despite my protests. Madness.” I scoff at the sheer audacity of him and his friends. Sir Issac nuzzles into me, knowing that I'm upset and wanting to change that. As well get attention.
“Is this the same William that had convinced everyone I was dating him?”
“Yes.” Anger rolls through me at the memory of that disaster. What hurt Audrey Rose the most is that she truly thought he was a friend. She’d explained that with me she didn't try, but everyone else she had too, so when they'd fallen into easy conversations during lessons she really enjoyed having someone other than me and lize and her uncle to talk to.
“Bitch. Why on earth is he such a problem? Where on earth does he even make this assumptions about us?'' She begins pacing, her mind working faster than her steps as she no doubt recalls everything that happened. I am inclined to do the same. I can still remember her walking into her room, looking at me and falling apart. I climbed into her room and held her letting her calm before she spoke to me. I cried as well, slightly, knowing how much that friendship had meant to her. I'd made us watch a really cheesy film and she'd fallen asleep in my arms.
“I have never once,”I say to drag her back to the present “shown interest in her, nor will I ever.” I drag a hand through my hair. “She's just- a lot.” the first time id met her she was just very loud and demanding, I couldn't stand her. I'd watched her insult so many people for being themselves, for liking childish things, or in Audrey Rose's case, morbid things.
“That is the understatement of the year Cresswell. Besides, you wouldn’t work, she's too- your,” she falls silent, either lost in thought or not wanting to tell me those thoughts. Her cheeks turn a light shade of pink and I smile. She doesn't meet my eye as she sits herself down and I raise my brows as she asks what? As though she didn’t just show me that she has many inappropriate thoughts about me. She curls herself into a ball, hiding in her oversized hoodie, which is mine that I'm not sure she realizes is.
“I’m what? I'd be delighted to know your innermost thoughts of me, Wadsworth.”
“You're absurd but fine I'll elaborate,” she rolls her eyes though, even as the pink deepens slightly. Her eyes focused on my own. So I face her fully, like an astute student in class dying to seek knowledge, “you're too kind, too witty and clever and Whitehall wouldn’t appreciate you enough. You-” she stops talking immediately, as though whatever is in her mind she cant voice. Her face twists into something unreadable and I get the sense that she would rather not ever speak about me being with someone other than her.
“You forgot to mention how handsome I look, or how charming I am, but I'll take it,” she suppresses an eye roll and her smile and ignores the way my voice deepens ever so slightly. I pat Sir Issac off me and earn a whine but he jumps off me. I reach out to her and she leans, her hair ripping free of her bun with little effort from the wind. Her dark curls cling to her face, framing her perfectly too. It makes me want to hold her face in her hands and kiss her deeply.
“I don’t need to inflate your ego further Thomas.”
She inflates my ego every time she smiles at me, whether that be because of my joke or simply smiling at me because I am her friend. “I know but it would've been nice. I did say the inner most thoughts but we’ll get there. Audrey rose-I don’t belong with her, you’re right, my heart would never belong to her especially since it already belongs to someone else.”
She blinks at me, her face falling flat. Silence falls over us and I realize she thinks I'm talking about someone else. And idea forms, one that she may hate me for but one I'm going to do anyway.
“I-” she begins, no doubt going to tell me she wants me to be happy without whomever I'm with. I stand before she can say anything and she stares at me for a second so I motion for her to move. I want to be able to hold her and be next to her. I climb over and set myself on her window sill, leaving enough space for her on the other side. “I hope you are happy with whomever has your heart Cresswell.” I try to hide my smirk at her. Preparing myself for the worst. Preparing myself for her calling me an idiot and that she doesn't like me that way. I wouldn’t blame her.
“Of course I'll be happy. She's amazing. Let me tell you all about her. I met her many years back and was instantly smitten with her emerald eyes and her quick witted mind. How she sings to herself every morning and how her dark curls fall across her face whenever she sits on her bed and reads. I adore her curiosity for the dead and how wicked her mouth is and how delightful it is to watch your mind at work. I love when she shows me a note through the window to see if I'm doing okay and-”
“Wait,” she blurts out, her cheeks red now and eyes bright with shock, “Thomas, are you talking about me?”
I can’t help but laugh. She is one of the smartest people I have ever met yet she, just like I do, struggles with social cues sometimes. Albeit it she is better than I will ever be. “Yes, finally! I thought I'd have to keep speaking forever till you realized it was you.” Not that that would be a problem. As of right now I'd happily list the way her eyes are filled with both relief and shock and happiness and it's a look I want to capture whenever I need a reminder of something good in life.
She scowls at me, ignoring her blush. I take a risk and reach out my hand, moving closer so that her back is straightened on the wall, her attention fixed on me completely. No fake scowl or bright smile, just an intent gaze I can't quite pick apart. I rest my hand on her leg, now free of her (my) hoodie. “Wadsworth, darling, I have been in love with you for some time now.”
I stare at my best friend, my love, as she tries to convince herself this is real. It's truly adorable. Then her eyes widen slightly as she whispers: “I have something to show you.”
She jumps from my grip, running the short distance to her bed and then shuffling through the mountain of books and papers sprawled there until she pulls out a notebook and shakes it, letting a piece of paper drop. It's folded and creased a lot, as though it has been opened often. I watch as she faces me and slowly, her face fixed on the sheet as she opens and holds it out to me.
I read the words: I love you.
I love you.
I read them over and over and over, trying to imprint it on my brain. Her delicate handwriting and her confession reaches out to me and I desperately want to reach out to her, hold her against me and press kisses and make her laugh.
Audrey rose takes her seat across from me and I instantly reach out, holding her leg again. Anything to reassure me this is real. “I wrote that the night after you came here the second time.” her voice is soft, her curls once again framing her face as she looks at me, “Something in me clicked that no matter what you'd find a way to comfort me. Not save me, but work alongside me. I wanted to tell you I just couldn't face it. But I needed to acknowledge it. So I wrote it down, and I look at it every time we use the note system; I try to convince myself to show you.” Audrey Rose would never need saving, never want it, yet her words save my own dark heart that she has felt this way for so long, and we have somehow lived alongside each other and been so blinded by our love entwined with fears that it has taken so long to finally acknowledge them.
I debate pinching myself. Only minutes ago was I miserable and upset, yet Audrey Rose has taken her time to cheer me up. Yet even if I had left it as I am fine, even though she knows me better than that, she wouldn't have pressed for answers; would have waited for me to open up. So i lean in and the world stops as we both wait until our lips are pressed together It's a light kiss, one full of promise and wonder. When I lean back we are both smiling so freely my heart feels as though it too is reaching out to hold Audrey rose. We trade kisses, never wanting to leave this loop but I do lean back away from her. I’m already too drunk on her kisses, I need to breathe, to process this so I can remember it. Once my back is against the wall I pull her, twisting so her back is against mine, leaning into my warmth and I rest my head atop hers. Trying to contain my smiles but to no avail. My hand covers hers and as i look down at her i notice she doesn't bother controlling her smile. It is a magnificent sight.  
“Now would be a perfect time to tell me how handsome I am, my love.”
let me know if you want to be added to my tag list: 
@fangirling-again​ @kittycat2187 @goatahoan @city-of-fae @the-hoofflepooff @padfoot-sirius-black-blog @purplecreatorhorsewagon @boredbookwormgirl @goddess-of-writing-wars @lovecakeandmore ​ @yikesitsmaddie @loveyatopluto​ @throneofsc @bookscressworth​  @ ink-insomnia
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heartbreakgrill · 4 years
Text
That Smile; Luke Hemmings
description: in which you’re a songwriter, working on Youngblood with 5sos, when a certain blonde catches your eyes.
a/n: there will be a part 2 for this!
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“AHHHH!” You threw your green mechanical pencil across the room. It bounced off of the wall, snapping in half, and landing in separate places. One ended up by the door by your shoes, the other on the couch, beside your purse, jacket, and water bottle.
A voice crackled through the speaker system, obvious laughter being bitten back. “Y/N, are you okay?”
You squeezed your eyes shut, hands in fists on either of your temples. You were on the floor, on your back, skinny jean clad legs sprawled out in front of you. Your t-shirt was ridden up on your stomach, revealing a thin strip of your skin to the room, which you were now realizing was freezing. Through welling goosebumps, you grumbled, “I’m never okay, Brad. You know this.”
“I had to check. We have legal obligations in the workplace,” he responded, this time chuckling throughout his spiel.
“Damn, OSHA,” you mumbled into your bottom lip.
Brad hesitated before his voice echoed back in, “They’re here, by the way. Making their way back now.”
“I’m not getting up yet. I’m still moping over my inability to properly write a single-“ your voice rose into a yell now, “fucking line about a stupid fucking boy!”
It was now that you realized the door to the studio was open with the head of receptionist Cindy in the room. “Is this a bad time?”
“I get paid to do this, I have no say,” you dropped your hands to your sides. “Let ‘em in.”
The four lanky boys shuffled in, two dressed like it was New York Fashion Week, the other two lazed about in sweatpants and hoodies. They stood awkwardly against the wall, unsure of how to go about greeting someone having a mental breakdown on the ground below them.
“Hello, I’m sorry, I’m trying to recover,” you began to sit up, back cracking in the process. You straightened your shirt out, catching eyes with the tall blonde. You swear, in the most cringey way, your breath caught in your lungs.
“You’re okay, we go through similar processes,” a curly headed, dirty blond remarked, giggling lightly.
“Yeah, I have plenty of photos of Calum laying on the floor like you were,” long fringe, bright eyes. Michael, perhaps?
You had familiarized yourself with photos of them on the internet, but were not at all confident you knew who they were. In fact, you couldn’t recall anyone’s name when the tall blonde who stole your breath offered his hand. You took it, your hand completely encased in his warm one. Without much efforts, he pulled you off the ground, nearly flush against his chest. But, you made sure to step back when you stood.
“Thanks,” you sighed, shuffling to the couch in your sock-clad feet. “Uh, I’m Y/N,” you introduced while clearing the seating area for them, “I’m sorry, I dont really know your names. Could you-?”
“Luke,” he stuck out the same hand for you to shake; you did.
Michael was who you suspected, Calum the jet black haired man Michael had mentioned, and Ashton the giggly one. You situated yourselves on the couches once you demanded they make themselves at home.
“So, this is your third album?” Of course you knew their music. If you were pairing with an artist on a new project, you had to familiarize yourself with their sound. You couldn’t write a Taylor Swift-like song for Lil Uzi Vert.
“Yeah,” Ashton answered, seemingly the spokesperson for the band. He was sat on the couch across from you, with Calum, Michael in the computer chair by the recording equipment. Luke was beside and, damn, did he smell good.
“What’s the motive?” They looked confused at the question, sharing a furrowed look. With a quick tuck of your legs underneath you on the couch, you launched into explanation, eyes moving from boy to boy. “So, you’re first album was very teen punk, kinda edgy, but safe with cute love songs and innocent forever young vibes. Sounds Good, Feels Good was super grunge with ballads about your actual feelings, a few love songs, and a handful of those same forever young vibes. It was, like, healing for you, almost. Like an album meant to truly introduce your fans to who you are. What do you want to say with this one?”
Luke cleared his throat beside you, “I dont know that we really have a vision with this one. We never really do.”
“Gosh,” you laughed, “no wonder they hired you guys a new songwriter. You have to have a plan! Otherwise it takes way too long and you have no idea what you’re doing. You’ve managed to do awesome without me, but this album, I promise, is going to be amazing.”
They, collectively, grinned at you. “I dont know about you, boys, but Ive got fucking chills!” Ashton exclaimed, shoving Calums shoulder, glancing at Michael.
You grinned back, proud with yourself and your words. You looked over at Luke who had a twinkle in his eyes, a smaller smile that seemed reserved for admiration to you.
-
You’d see that smile many times again throughout the process of writing their new album, later titled Youngblood after the first song you wrote together.
Ashton thought you were a bloody genius, as he would say, again and again.
“Its just a simple lyrical progression, Ash,” you coined his nickname a week into the process, “not that big of a deal.”
He still grinned, continuing to flip at your ‘talent’ with the randomest things.
When Youngblood, the song, was completely recorded and produced, you had a listening party in the small recording studio. You’d baked cupcakes and cookies for everyone, Calum had popped some champagne, and Michael brought his girlfriend along for the celebration.
You got along with Crystal well, chattering about makeup, music, and many other things before Brad came into the room with a frog shaped file USB. You stood from the couch beside Crystal and moved to stand beside Luke, who just so happened to be standing in the spot you wanted to. He smiled down at you, bouncing on his heels in excitement.
As Brad set up the file, Luke said, “The cupcakes are really good. As are the cookies, and the song. Everything, really.”
He was nervous around you. He was never nervous around girls. But something about your overwhelming talent, immense beauty, and super sweet personality made him jittery. He held tightly to his paper cup, nearly breaking in from his squeezing knuckles.
“Thank you, Luke,” you set a hand on his shoulder, prepared to say something else when the song began.
You’d heard it prior to this to ensure that it wouldn’t be utter crap. It was amusing and prideful for you to watch everyone’s jaws drops, to see Calum drop onto the couch with his head in his hands. Ashton danced around, Crystal leaned against Michael, praising his guitar and vocal bits. As the beat picked up and, soon, as it ended, Luke turned to you, lifted you in his arms, and spun you around. You were laughing, head thrown back, hands clutching at his hoodie-clad shoulders. When he set you down, you were still laughing, as was he. His laugh faded into that smile, that stupid smile.
-
The next time you saw it was halfway through the album. You had been losing sleep, between handling 5sos as a client and, now, Taylor Swift, who noticed your work through a friend. She wanted a new song, something uplifting and sweet. You agreed to help, not realizing that, now, you were overloaded. And, you weren’t able to devote your time to just 5sos.
One day, at the end of a long studio day, Luke noticed you on the floor of the recoding studio. Youd set yourself there when the boys starting gathering up their things, bidding your farewells with weary hands. Your eyes were no shut, hands resting on your stomach. Luke watched the boys leave and, having driven himself there, sat down beside you. He nudged your leg, gaining your attention through weary eyes.
“Hi,” he smiled, not quite in that way, but still sweetly. “Are you okay?”
“Stressed. Tired. Sick of writing. I haven’t been out with friends in so long and i want to, but all of my friends have normal lives with normal jobs. So they wont go with me during the week, and I cant on the weekends, because Ive been busy with Taylor Swift. God, never thought I’d say that sentence. Anyways, I just really want to get drunk and dance and then cry to someone about being sad, single, and so, so tired.”
“Well,” Luke resisted the urge to pick you up, place you in his lap, cradle you and coo you to sleep, “I’m sure I can urge Ash to have a party in his house. There’s plenty of people who dont care about their jobs or dont even have ‘em.”
You lifted yourself up on to your knees, “I would literally write you, like, an entire song if you got him to do that. I need a night away.”
“No need, I’m fine with one dance reserved for me,” there was the smile. “Oh, and a shot. We have to do a shot together.”
“I would do a million shots with you.”
He walked you to the parking lot, to your car, leaning against the door frame while you turned it on and buckled your seat belt. “Okay, so, Ill send you his address, and see you in a few hours?”
“See you.”
Now, what the hell were you going to wear?
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The voice of my heart, lately sounds like you.
 MDZS MODERN AU.
  CH-1 YOU ARE MY NEW BEST FRIEND!
"Ah, I'll kill you"
"Not if I kill you first"
"Damn you, Wei WuXian this is not even your fight. Why are you being so aggressive?"
"You pick up a fight with my bro and expect me to sit back and watch, you shit hole for a brain"
"Damn right..... Ah..... Wei WuXian get your lame ass here."
"How coward can you be Jin ZiXun bringing your 5 cowards against the 2 of us!."
"Wei WuXian you once said you can singlehandedly take care even if there were 10 of us, what happened to that? Don't feel so motivated now?"
Jiang Cheng gave Wei WuXian a deadly glare. Wei WuXian wanted to kick that Jin ZiXun so hard that he could feel pain in every breath he takes.Idea struck him. Wei WuXian suddenly starts to kick and punch whoever is in his vicinity. Since the boys knew that Wei WuXian was more difficult to handle among the two, they were ganging up against him. Jiang Cheng saw this as an opportunity and punched hard the boy who was holding him. Jin ZiXun saw this and thought that the tables might turn and they might have to run away from a fight they could've easily won. In desperation he moves in direction to punch Wei WuXian.
It was an easy day at school. No boys from class had made any fuss over anything and so in a light mood he was riding back to home, leisurely on his bicycle. The distant noise of boys struggling was the only misfit to his perfectly easy day. Those voices increased as he slowly cycled towards his home. Several boys were fighting on the streets. Five of the boys bullying two others. He suddenly felt a pang in his heart as he recognized the boys who were struggling to break free. He saw Wei WuXian was about to get hit in the face as his brother Jiang Cheng hit a boy of other group. Before he could understand his own actions he running towards Wei WuXian. He shoved Wei WuXian from where he was to behind him. Since Wei WuXian was about to get punched now the punch landed on Lan WangJi's face!
Everyone is silent. With horror.
Jin ZiXun can see his death in Lan WangJi's eye as he recovered from punch to face the culprit. Jin ZiXun took a few steps back, his hands in defensive position. In shear fear he says 'I'm.. I'm sor.... Please don't kill m!." Everyone was just stunned but Wei WuXian had to laugh at that.
"Hahahaha. He's so afraid of you, Lan Zhan! Come on Lan Zhan do me a favor and kill him!" Wei WuXian said with a bit of sarcasm and something very evil.
The boys immediately went pale. It was Jin ZiXun was first gathered courage or rather enough cowardice and ran away and the others followed. Lan WangJi turned to help Wei WuXian get up from the streets. Wei WuXian smiled at him so bright that Lan WangJi thought he might be blinded by the light that smile radiates. Wei WuXian thanked him and said "you really made him piss in his pants Lan Zhan! You are so cool and strong!!" And then Wei WuXian had to smile harder than before. Lan WangJi swallowed and blinked twice before nodding a few times. Jiang Cheng was facing them and said "guys, the trouble is not over yet." And he gestured for them to look behind. The both turned in a flash and saw a tall, huge boy looking at them with such a disgusted look on his face it became difficult for them to know if he was in their side or otherwise.
"Big bro Nie" Lan WangJi said "can you help?" It was Nie MingJue the senior Head boy also he was Lan XiChen’s best friend. So obviously he had good relations with the head boy and Lan WangJi knew he was here to help. “Who were those cowards?’Nie MingJue asked looking at Jiang Cheng. “They were Jin ZiXun’s cowards” Jiang Cheng said with disgust.
“So you are rivals? I often watch you both getting into trouble with them.”
“Not rivals we just simply don’t agree with their mere existence.”
Nie MingJue smiled at Jiang Chen at such a disgust. He almost looked proud to know someone talk with such disgust. He offered Jiang Cheng his hand and pulled him up. “WangJi, I’ll take this boy to his home and you take him” he said pointing at Wei WuXian. “You must know where they live, right?” to which Lan WangJi only nodded. At that Nie MingJue started paddling his cycle and moved in the direction of Jiang Cheng’s home. 
Lan WangJi carefully seated Wei WuXian on the back seat and started to paddle. “Lan Zhan thanks for saving our asses! You know we owe you one. Next time if you get into trouble just call me and I’ll come to save your ass.” Wei WuXian said with a wide grin. Although Lan WangJi was looking forward he knew the person behind was smiling. Lan WangJi did not say anything. He only nodded at thanks. Wei WuXian continued with his chatter. “ Lan Zhan do you know where I live? Of course you should know, uncle Jiang lives in a very huge house plus he is very good and famous so you must know him, right?” At that also Lan WangJi nodded. “Lan Zhan you are not saying anything!!” there was a little whine in his voice which ended in a pout. After a few moments of silence Lan WangJi asked “What do you want me to say?” He sounded genuine. He might really not know what to say. Wei WuXian chuckled and said “I can give you classes on ‘how to talk’ and ‘what to say’ if you want to” Lan WangJi didn't say anything. Being silent was his strong point not talking like this boy sitting on the back seat of his cycle. Wei WuXian talked pretty much all the way to his home and Lan WangJi listened patiently.
Soon they reached the destination and Lan WangJi was stressing over should he escort Wei WuXian till he reaches inside his home or should he just say farewell from the gate of his home. He was still confused when Wei WuXian grabbed his hand and was dragged him inside the gate and in his house.
The moment he stepped inside the house he was greeted with some worrying faces and some angry faces. Wei WuXian was immediately taken into warm embrace of a girl who was elder than him, probably his Shijie. Wei WuXian was still holding Lan WangJi’s hand. Before he could ask Wei WuXian to let go of his hand Wei WuXian said “ I’m okay shijie! Don’t worry those cowards cant hurt me.” He smiled at his shijie and all the tension was vanished. Jiang Cheng was already home, since the head boy might have paddled fast to deliver him home. 
Since Wei WuXian assured he was okay the attention shifted to the boy who was holding his hand. Suddenly feeling all the eyes on him Lan WangJi tensed up a bit. Wei WuXian turned with that bright smile and introduced him as “ this is my new best friend, Lan Zhan!” He smiled even more looking admiringly at his proclaimed ‘new best friend’
 Lan WangJi swallowed. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to react. He felt like running away and never looking back. But all he could do was to stand there, feeling like out of the place and try to look away from the staring faces. 
“Don’t stare, you are scaring the boy.” said a stern and dominating voice. Everyone obeyed and looked in different direction. That voice made Lan WangJi think of his uncle. He many a times talk with such authority. Hence the voice did not scare him but relaxed him in a way. He looked towards the direction of the voice but the woman had turned away and so he could only see the frame of that woman and not her face. 
The girl, Wei WuXian called his shijie, took Lan WangJi’s hand in her hand and said with the warmest expression “ I thank you very much for saving A-Xian” Lan WangJi melted at the love she showed just for thanking him for saving her brother. He was about to smile but Wei WuXian was first to talk. “Shijie could you make us something, we are hungry. Lan Zhan took so much trouble to save us and bring me home. We cant send him home hungry right?” His shijie smiled at him and said “ first attend to his injury and in the meanwhile I’ll cook you something.”
Wei WuXian had almost forgotten about that injury on Lan WangJi’s left cheek.He suddenly looked at his face and caressed the surrounding skin, carefully not to further hurt him. Lan WangJi froze at this gesture. He never liked anyone touching him even the slightest. He even wouldn't let his brother touch him unnecessarily.  And there was this boy, his classmate since kindergarten, who was the most naughty boy in their class and so Lan WangJi kept his distance. But right now he was so close to his face, his hands on his cheek, caressing the hurt away. Lan WangJi started to turn red in the ears. Wei WuXian then dragged him to his and Jiang Cheng’s shared room, completely oblivious of the effect of such gestures on the other boy. 
Once in the room Wei WuXian asked Lan WangJi to sit on his bed and he started looking for first aid. He found it soon and attended to the wound on Lan WangJi’s face. Lan WangJi sat completely still during the whole process. Maybe he was still not sure how to react. Wei WuXian kept slipping him sweet smiles and Lan WangJi kept looking away from those blinding smiles. 
In no time did the shijie returned and asked them to join for her special soup. Wei WuXian talked non stop even when soup was in his mouth. Lan WangJi listened to everything he had to say, nodding sometimes. After finishing the soup Lan WangJi asked for their leave to go home. Wei WuXian hugged him as farewell and walked him to his cycle. “ see you tomorrow at school, Lan Zhan!” with that Wei WuXian waved at him and he took off on his cycle.
On his way home Lan WangJi was filled with warmth and light. As he remembered what his old classmate but new friend said his face was lifted with joy and a smile spread across his face without his knowledge, ‘my new best friend.’
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"Come to hospital with me today, WangJi." Lan XiChen said suddenly turning to his younger brother with the same smile but warmer and filled with something like love, "I want you to meet someone there." Lan WangJi was surprised at his brother's sudden request and then arrangement. "'Someone' Jin GuangYao! I've met him before brother." Said Lan WangJi who did not like to go anywhere but to where he is absolutely required.
Lan XiChen was founder and president of 'Lan hospitals and research facilities', along with Jin GuangYao and Nie MingJue. Lan XiChen founded the facility and later did Jin GuangYao and Nie MingJue joined hands to help benefit more people from the sects, and hence the name. Since Nie MingJue passed away quiet a long time ago it was his younger brother Nie HuaiSang sharing the responsibility now. They were very close to Lan XiChen, so of course Lan WangJi knew them all well too. Even so Lan WangJi would not meet with them unless its important and/or his brother was busy with other things.
Lan XiChen hardly made any requests to Lan WangJi but whenever he did his younger brother was sure to grant them. He was reluctant but Lan WangJi agreed to go with his brother. Lan XiChen was happier at that. They quickly but safely drove to the hospital and he asked Lan WangJi to wait for some time since his 'someone' was busy at the moment. Lan XiChen decided to go seek his 'someone' first and bring him to Lan WangJi to officially tell him 'something'.
Lan WangJi sat in the visitor's room even though he was offered to wait at Lan XiChen's office. He started going through the magazines, flipping pages, gathering information in any available material. He heard commotion from outside. It was as if the sounds came from far off but still somewhere near by. He did not pay much attention at first. Then the sounds of struggle started to grow louder. He had to get out of the room to check if everything was alright. When he got out of the room he could hear the commotion but can't see where it came from. Before he know it he started to move towards the direction of sound.
He heard someone laugh and he stopped in his tracks. His heart beating wildly. He doesn't know why but there was something that made him impatient. He moved faster towards the sound.
In no time he was in a long Hall with rooms on both the sides. The noises were the loudest there. He started to move, again, towards the voice but it was a restricted section. Without the written permission from the president not even president himself was allowed to enter.
Lan WangJi heard the laugh again. That same laugh. He knew for sure who was in there still wished it wasn't him. Lan WangJi knew very well what the restriction section was for. Not research exactly but if someone guessed it was for experimentation they won't be entirely wrong. The restriction section was guarded by two iron gates sealed with multiple seals and locks. The design complex, almost making it look unbreachable but Lan WangJi knew the truth. Lan WangJi demanded the gatekeeper to let him through. Since he lacked the permission she couldn't. He sternly ordered her to go find his brother and get him the permission. It wasn't her job to do so but she was so scared of the look on Lan WangJi's face that she ran to find Lan XiChen.
"XiChen, as much as I'd like to come to your place, you know I can't. I have to attend the conference tomorrow and get the scientist you couldn't last time." Jin GuangYao said hugging Lan XiChen. "Anyone else you want me to bring?" Lan XiChen only smiled at the tease and replied, " The one I want doesn't, see if you could do anything about that " Jin GuangYao melted at that and kissed him deeply, " I can't go if say things like these, you know." Lan XiChen smiled brightly at the idea but before he could speak they heard desperate knocks at the office door. Jin GuangYao walked over and allowed himself to unlock the door. It was the gatekeeper and she looked scared. Jin GuangYao's phone vibrated and he fetched it out of his pocket to see who it was, he glanced at Lan XiChen and excused himself out and away from office.
She was breathless and so Lan WangJi asked her if everything was alright. It was unlikely of the gatekeeper to knock at his doors. "President Lan, your brother demands the permission to enter the restriction section." She paused a minute to catch her breath and then added " He looked like he would kill someone if he couldn't enter." Tears were welling up her eyes. It gave Lan XiChen an odd sense of loss and worry. He immediately looked for blank sheet of paper in his drawer and wrote an simple permission and signed it. He walked towards the restriction section in long, worried strides towards restriction with the requested- oh no- demanded permission.
Lan WangJi was now holding on yo the iron gates. Only his figures could reach to the other side. Without his permission a name slipped his mouth, "Wei Ying". The echos of his own voice made him realize what he just did. As if a reply to his plea he heard a faint, frail voice calling his name. " Lan Zhan " Lan WangJi wanted to know for sure he was not hallucinating and so he raised his voice and called that name with all the love and all the longing he felt. "Wei Ying" As soon as those syllables we're out of his mouth, he heard the sound of metal falling on floor and commotion from within the restricted section. Some footsteps running towards him and some voices shouting 'don't let him go' 'we can't let anyone find out' 'hold him quick'.
Lan WangJi was now more worried than ever for he knew for sure it was Wei WuXian, and given he was in the restricted section the thought of experiments being performed on him made him frown. So he called again, the name to which he had set his heart, "Wei Ying! Wei Ying!"
A figure appeared from the far end of Hall. He was clad in hospital clothes and a badge with a number was pinned on his chest. At the sight of the man he set his heart on he couldn't help but call him again, only this time Lan WangJi sounded more desperate than ever. "Wei Ying! Wei Ying come to me." At that the said man ran towards him, dodging all the doctors and scientists and who so ever came in his way. As the man was approaching close Lan WangJi could now look at his features, running like a lunatic, his face dark clad with pain and wounds. Eyes swollen and red, clearly deprived of sleep. His hair disheveled. He was not the man Lan WangJi knew, he was am abused version of the man he loved.
The running man finally came to a pause and a frail smile broke on his face. Lan WangJi's world crumbled all over again at that smile. He had seen that smile in all its glory and now to have received that smile like a dying flame, just stabbed his poor heart. He suddenly felt warmth around the tips of his fingers that had found its way through the gates. Tears welling up his eyes as he called the man again, softly "Wei Ying" Love dripping off every gesture Lan WangJi made towards him. The other man teared his gaze from Lan WangJi's fingers and looked him in the eyes and smiled. The smiled that melted mountains was now only given to Lan WangJi. "Lan Zhan! You found me, Lan Zhan." Tears streamed down Lan WangJi's cheeks at the sound he yearned to hear for years.
Lan WangJi could see conspiracy behind Wei WuXian. The doctors and helpers stepping towards Wei WuXian with different medical instruments in their hands. Fear struck Lan WangJi as he shouted for his brother. Thankfully Lan XiChen was not far behind and hearing his brother shout he ran towards him.
He came to a pause as he saw his brother's back and the man in front of him. He quickly recognized him. His steps stumbled half in confusion and half in disbelief. Lan WangJi looked over his shoulder and saw his brother. Lan XiChen handed the gatekeeper the written permission and she got a single key from her pocket and moved to open the gates. But before she could open the gates a doctor shoved an injection into Wei WuXian's neck. Everyone was stunned. Lan WangJi pushed aside the gatekeeper opened the gates wide and punched the doctor unconscious. Wei WuXian still smiling said " I knew you'd find me, Lan Zhan." Lan WangJi caught the fainting Wei WuXian and said "Always. I'll always find you, Wei Ying." Hearing that Wei WuXian fainted in Lan WangJi's arms.
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MY LA SECRET SESSION EXPERIENCE!
Background:
So Taylor’s been following me for over 2 years now and she’s showed up for me somewhat regularly ever since she followed me which I’m incredibly grateful for (like INCREDIBLY). When she did secret sessions last era, I didn’t even have a fan account for anything and I got all the news off insta and my best friends in real life @thislove-brittany and @thosegeorgiastars13 when we would come into school and talk about how some extremely lucky fans got to go into her home and hang with her for hours on end. At that point we all almost had to laugh because we live in Australia and we weren’t known AT ALL by Taylor and we just told ourselves it was such a far fetched dream it was ridiculous… Fast forward a few months later that next year in 2015, when Taylor followed me – I believe to this day she saw a photo of B, G and I posing as Bad Blood characters, and she followed me from that. So basically the first memory I have of Taylor acknowledging my existence was shared with my 2 best friends, but let me now continue with the story….
 On the 1st of January this year, I wrote this post: 
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About 4 weeks ago, things at uni went downhill and I had quite literally hit rock bottom in terms of my stress and my future regarding uni. At the same sort of time Taylor had started joining people’s livestreams but she would do so between the hours of 3-7am Australian time so I just kept waking up to her lurking people and watching their lives while I had zero chances in the first place and it was there and then that I thought to myself ‘I’m never meeting her, I have negative hope that I’ll ever meet Taylor” and basically I spent a few days not logging in very much because I was so upset about everything and just didn’t want to bother. But then I started having so many fun events like friends and family birthday parties over those next few weekends and life felt a bit better. During one of those weeks, Taylor had seen 2 or 3 of my tumblr posts where I complimented people’s selfies and it hit me then that good things were still coming and that she still probably maybe had her eye on me (but it was still just wishful thinking). Then London SS happened and my best friend from England, Katy aka @ethereal-swiftness ended up meeting T and I’d sent her an ask about keeping the secret and Taylor saw that a day later and once again I really started to feel things again and it was almost as if right then I knew something was coming for me – like I just knew.
 Getting Contacted by TN
So it was Wednesday morning on the 18th of October, 5.36am, when B and G texted me about 23 times in a row with messages like “EMENME” “CHECK TUMVLT NOW GO DHCIENEONC DO IT CHEJCK IT” “WE GOT THE SMEDSAHE” so naturally I nearly fell out of my bed because yes, in fact, my 2 best friends in real life had both individually received a confidential message from TN and so I went to check my tumblr and there was nothing there so I was worried at first, but I know they always take a while to send each one out, and once again, by my own intuition, I just knew I was getting one, and knew somehow that all of us were going to meet her together at some point – we’d been on countless walks by the beach all year dreaming about the day we’d meet T together, and I just knew in my heart it would happen for us all – and so I had to go to uni that day so I was checking my messages every other minute of the day, and I got home in the afternoon and had a nap because I was physically exhausted LOL. Next minute I realise its nearly 6pm and I was getting ready for dinner, and out of nowhere, my subconscious mind decided that I’d click on my twitter app, which I genuinely barely EVER touch these days - I hadn’t touched it in days, but somehow my mind told me to click on it in that moment, and the second I logged in there was one new message, and there it was. I screamed so loud and started shrieking, running over to mum and dad and yelling at them – they were very very excited because I’d told them about the girls getting one that morning!!! I couldn’t believe they’d sent it via twitter as my main account is tumblr and I was expecting it to come from there but hey then I realised how shifty Taylor is and she probably gave them my twitter because its in my tumblr bio (!!!!!!) (TN don’t follow me on twitter either). They asked for my details in the message. Anyway so it hit me that night that I was officially meeting Taylor anytime in the next 2 weeks or so and I remember proper crying in the shower that night (I never cry properly like I just don’t do it?!!!!) because it was just a shock and it couldn’t have come at a better time honestly and it all just hit me so hard. So anyway the next day I was writing my notes for uni and at about 1pm, I got a call from a New York number and I knew instantly it was TN. I think it may have been Sierra but I honestly can’t remember LOL so the first thing she said was “I understand this may be a bit of a flight…” and in the moment I was like ‘yeah no Sydney or Melbourne is nothing for me’, expecting the event was to be held in Australia LOL, but the next thing she said was “So there’s actually going to be an event in the Los Angeles area on Sunday” and I straight away said “wait you mean this Sunday?!!!” and she said “Yes like in 4 days Sunday, yes in Los Angeles, now I know this is a lot and you may not be able to come but at this stage there’s nothing else on the cards, and we do have your details now and we can send you some things in the meantime” so I said “okay okay can I just call you back so I can sort some things out, can I please just call you back” and she was fine with that and so I hung up and told Mum instantly and then called Dad and he was so happy for me that he was already helping me look up next day flights! So low and behold, within the hour, I ended up booking flights myself and getting in contact with the girls so we could sort out similar flight times and hotels etc, and TN called me back and I told them it was a ‘go’ and that’s the story of how I was suddenly about to fly to LA with one days’ notice to meet Taylor Swift LOL. So basically I had to spend the next few days making up (very) lame excuses to you guys online as to why I wasn’t posting at my usual times and it was the hardest secret I will ever have to keep OH. MY. GOD.
 Arriving in LA
So Friday morning LA time I arrived and met up with the girls straight away at the airport luckily, and we made our way to our hotel. Of course because we were all on a 13+ hour flight, we missed the release of ‘Gorgeous’ and we knew we had to learn the lyrics before Sunday LOL so it was on repeat for 48 hours straight and we were loving every moment of it. We had an amazing 2 full days exploring LA and doing fun things, knowing how excited we were for Sunday’s adventure!!!
Meeting Taylor
In no time it was Sunday the 22nd October, aka the day we were meeting Taylor Swift in her LA home. (!!!!!!) We had to go out shopping in the morning to find a frame for B’s painting she was doing for T, and then we probably spent the rest of the day in the hotel with ‘Gorgeous’ on repeat getting prepared to actually get ready LOL. By 12pm we started doing our makeup and hair because we didn’t want to rush the process or anything, and honestly soon enough it was already 3.30pm and we were downstairs taking photos and vlogging, about to hop in an uber to take us to the meeting spot (!!!!!!). So we get there and walk inside to where TN directed us, fill out some details and get our wristbands (!!!!!) and suddenly I recognise this girl with dark hair and a stripy dress, and I just kNEW straight away it was Bella aka @swiftful-thinking13 but I had that fear it wasn’t so I waited a bit longer to properly check and it was DEFINITELY her LOL so we were all kind of standing in a circle and I just looked at her and went “Bella… Bella… BELLA” and she dead set looked at me in complete and utter shock for god knows how long (there were no words coming out I kid you not) and so then and there we both ran into a hug and she basically started crying, saying “THIS IS BETTER THAN MEETING TAYLOR SWIFT I CANT BELIEVE YOU’RE HERE IN LA WTF MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE I LOVE YOU” and literally until we actually got on the shuttle she was in disbelief and none of us could quite believe what was happening LOL (I knew ALL ALONG she was gonna be there, may I add, I KNEW it).
This is a pic of Bella and I basically as soon as we met!!
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Anyway among all this chaos, someone informed me that @ohkimani just rolled up and I legit stood up, looked around and went “KIMANI” and there she was in front of me and yeah that was casual, considering I was supposed to meet both these girls in a few months time when I’m back in LA!!! So we took some photos, had a good chat, and I also met Paige!! ( @heypay ), and waited around until it was time for us all to get on the shuttles to the ‘secret location’.
Kimani, Bella and I!                             
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 It was about 6pm or so when our group got on the shuttle after a security check, and I sat next to Bella, while B and G sat right behind us, and we spent the entire ride basically holding each others hands crying, knowing that we were minutes away from Taylor Swift’s house (!!!!!!). So we roll up to her place, the gates open and it felt like I was in wonderland in that moment, I’m telling you it was indescribable. We had to have another body check when we got off the shuttle, and we were then told to stand against the wall. On my way to the wall, I saw what looked like her guest living area all lit up with about 20 candles sitting around a bench LOL, and then there was an archway next to the wall to the backyard that was surrounded by fairy lights!!!!!!!! So in the few minutes we waited for everyone to get off the bus, we started hyperventilating and going into panic mode like I think I said to Bella about 20 times in a row that I wanted to turn around and leave because it felt fake and I got so scared suddenly that we were about to be in Taylor Swift’s presence (!!!!!!!!). 
Anyway soon enough I think it was Erica who escorted us through to the backyard, and into the pool area where the first group were mingling. All the food was set up on tables around the pool area and I just about lost my entire soul in that moment…. It was like a scene from a Hollywood movie like her location is divine!!!! and just sitting around her pool eating her food was a feeling I could never ever ever describe to you…ever. I had a plate with hommus and carrots because a lot of you know I can’t live without hommus LOL, and I had some olives, a REP cookie, REP m&m’s, a sushi roll thing, chips, and of course, a SMART water hehe. When we went to sit down by the jacuzzi, ‘Fire Away’ by Chris Stapleton started playing, and Bella and I just looked at each other in disbelief because in that moment everything was perfect, and we were listening to such a chilled, country song as the sun set in the most beautiful way over LA on a warm autumnal night at Taylor Swift’s house. It was there that I think we both just cried, like we’d met for the first time at Taylor Swift’s house and we’d already felt like best friends and it all came full circle, and I looked at B and G and went, guys this just isn’t real, its not… how did we fly here, I can’t believe life right now. That moment is a memory I’ll treasure forever and I truly could not have felt more content with my life – everything felt perfect. So we were waiting until the other groups arrived, and suddenly I saw Tree turn up so I went over and while she was chatting to other people, @teardropsonsmyguitar came over to me and said “OH MY GOD I KNEW I RECOGNISED YOU OH MY GOD EMILY HEY” and I was like oh my gODDD girl, remind me your username again!!!! And she told me and I knew it was Kaitlyn straight away and she told me I was beautiful etc and just about cried then too because I felt closer than ever to everyone there even though I was oceans away from home! Finally Tree turned to us and she said “So where are you guys from?!” and B, G and I said together “Australia!” and she goes “wOW WOW oh my GOD what part?!” and we said Gold Coast and she was so enthused and ecstatic for us and then I asked her how her cat is going and she told us a cute little story and it was adorable hehe and then we spoke more and she had to go and check on something and left. I also finally got to meet my Aussie gal @screamedsooloud and her sister during that time and we were talking about the fact that none of us knew if any other Aussies were gonna be there and omg Dani is truly as funny as you see online LOL. 
Anyway soon after, we were escorted back up to the house, into a small living area with candles lit everywhere and soft pillows/blankets all over the floor. I was so mesmerised by everything that I wasn’t paying attention to where B and G were and suddenly they said “EM, come over here!!!” and I turned around and saw a red chair with speakers either side and I knew EXACTLY where homegirl was about to be sitting, so somehow we ended up smack bang at the front of the room, less than 1m away from the chair. We then spent a solid 10 minutes screeching and crying to each other, knowing Taylor Swift was about to sit less than a f*****g metre away from us for 2 hours (!!!!!!!!!!!!). So yeah all of a sudden, there was commotion at the back of the room, and Taylor Alison Swift appeared through the curtain, and the whole room turned into madness and hysteria holy christ, but no apparently that wasn’t enough – two of the HAIM sisters are right behind her, as well as Jack Antonoff, Ruby Rose, Jessica Veronica (I think), Ash Avignone, and someone else and the whole room went into riot (!!!!!!) Taylor made her way to the front, hugging some people along the way, including B, to which T said “YOU MADE IT!”, knowing we came from Australia (????!!!!!!!). So there we were, less than a metre away from Taylor Swift herself, trying to act like we were somewhat alive in that moment. She looks very different in real life I found I don’t know she just looked so beautiful and perfect in every way and she was wearing high waisted camo pants with huge boots and a long sleeved black crop with her curly hair and red lips!!! I won’t talk now much about what happened in that room, but I WILL say I had a dance party with her and she came over to us and fully had a proper dance sesh and it still just felt like a dream. Throughout the playing of the album, she looked at me so intently so many times that I felt like I had to look away at times because she truly does stare into your soul like its mesmerising WOW. Anyway when (my now favourite song) was playing, I started crying instantly and I saw that she was watching me at times, and by the last verse, Bella, me, B and G had all lost it, laughing and crying at each other, having the absolute time of our lives, and T watched us, smiling and miming the lyrics to us the whole verse and that was by far probably the happiest moment of my life, it was just a feeling you could not put into words – it meant everything and it couldn’t have been more perfect, she made that song extra special for me and I’ll have that memory to hold onto forever. We also fully bowed down to her like you actually would to Queen Elizabeth, because hey she IS a queen, and it was so funny LOL. 
Once she’d kinda finished up with that part of the night, she told us she had to go de-sweat and freshen up because that LA heat with 100 of us in a small room was really getting to everyone and so we kinda mingled and went for a bathroom rush to freshen up ourselves before we started the meet and greet/photo opportunity. We went to what was probably her guest bathroom, as the house is still in renovation and there were actual notes on the wall saying ‘wallpaper’ etc like it was legit in mid renovation so it was exciting to know that she told us we were the first official ‘guests’ in this home?!!!! And then we got back into the room and mingled while people started forming a line to the next room where she was about to take photos and meet us! It was probably about 45 minutes later, after lots of crying and talking and general disbelief, that we were about to walk over and hug Taylor Swift – ‘Malibu’ by Miley Cyrus was playing right before we met her and I could not have been happier I swear. 
Brittany went over first and she hugged her so tight, and then T looked at me like ‘HEY!’ and we hugged (absolutely magical hugs they are), and then G hugged her. The first thing I said was “okay so we got told on Thursday and booked next day flights over here” and she said instantly “look I still can’t believe you guys made it like I can’t believe it WOW!” and then I think we spoke a bit more about it and she said “so Ali texted me before saying ‘The Australians are here!’ and I was so excited and I can’t believe you’re actually here!” And B said something like “of COURSE we’re here we wouldn’t miss it!!!” and then I think we must have taken the photo and I was like “Can I hold the Grammy” and she was like “uhhh yeaahhhhhhh” and I asked her which Grammy it was to which she said “1989 AOTY” and so there I was holding her latest Grammy in her house, just casually. I gave it to B to hold, and then held it again on the throne that we sat on in the photo LOL, and she gave G the phone from the LWYMMD music video that she danced with earlier LOL. So we all sat down and then T leaned in from the side and I think she put her arm around B and before I could even orientate myself nicely they’d already taken the photo LOL so I’m worried how that will turn out…. So then we all spoke a bit more and I asked her how the cats were and she said “yeah they’re doing really well at home now, although they did have a fight today” and she showed me the scar on her finger LOL, and then she said “but Meredith’s been so good lately, she’s been behaving and she even purred” and I think I just laughed and said ‘yeah purring’s always a good sign’ or something stupid, and then I complimented her black sparkly nails and she pulled them out towards us and said “aww thanks, do you like them? I did them today!” and then we must have said again that we couldn’t believe we were really there and she said “guys I just cannot believe you made it, thank you so much” and then the girls walked away because everyone seemed to go as a group first and then allow each person to have a one on one with Taylor. So suddenly it was just me and Taylor and I think the first thing we did was get a photo and so I said “okay what should we do” and she was like “I don’t mind, whatever you want” and so I quickly said “lets just hug” because I always wanted a cute hugging photo so we just locked ourselves in a hug, and JUST as the photographer was about to take our photo, they had to walk away and change something, so in any normal situation I thought T would let go and just wait, but she LITERALLY KEPT HUGGING ME in that position and I nearly died I was in shock but also felt so loved in that moment and I said “oh my god you smell AMAZING” because we were literally THAT close her scent was fully rubbing off on me and she smelled DIVINE like my gOD !!!!!! And she said “awww thanks” and then I think we finally got our photo, and then started talking more. The first proper thing she said was “oh my god I LOVE your dress so much, wow, its like perfect for like a more important, special type of occasion, like a first date, you know what I mean?!” and I just lost it then wow. I think after that I mentioned how thankful I am for all the tumblr friends I’ve made and how supportive we are online and she said something like “awww yes it’s the most beautiful thing” and then I mentioned Akhila ( @smilingswiftie ) and how she told me she was meeting T beforehand and then I realised I probably shouldn’t have told Taylor that so I quickly said “don’t worry, I kept the secret!!” and she turned back and cackled LOL I found it pretty funny and then she ACTUALLY SPOKE ABOUT AKHILA and said “oh my god she’s so pure and adorable and I didn’t want to let her go” and I said “yeah she’s so beautiful” and then I mentioned how Mere  ( @lifeofswiftie89 ) had mentioned Jess ( @jessicaswiftie1989 ) and I (my OG group chat) at the RI ss and she interrupted and said “ah Meredith with the cats” and nodded and said “yeah yeah” before I finished Jess’s name and she fully knew them as she apparently did when Mere mentioned Jess and I to her (?!!!!!) so yeah that happened and she knows a LOT of people I tell you… And then I think she was just standing there and I remember looking up and saying “you’re GORGEOUS” because I wanted to sneak in the ‘gorgeous’ reference LOL, and she stepped back and did that cute little smile of hers and said “thanks GORGEOUSSSSSSS” just like she sings it in the song (!!!!!!) and then I probably said for the millionth time that I couldn’t quite believe I was there and she said for the millionth time “I can’t believe you’re here thank you so much for coming!!” and then she had the AUDACITY to say so casually like so casually I almost died, that “you were on the list ages ago, I’m so sorry they took so long!” and I think I just laughed in shock and went “well I can’t BELIEVE I’m here, thank you so much” and then I think she hugged me again and we said our goodbyes and it was B and G’s turn to speak with her. I got my merch bag and Ali wanted me to wait for the girls because they wanted to interview us about coming all this way…. And then soon enough we were escorted out the side door and back onto the bus and I basically wanted to cry then LOL and so that was the story of how I flew 13 hours across the world with 3 days notice to meet Taylor Swift in LA with my 2 best friends!!!!!!!
Timing really is a funny thing, and it all just so happened at quite honestly the most perfect time ever. This year I have felt more confident than ever, and most content with myself and my life and I feel like the best things happen when you’re at your best and that’s why meeting her when I did couldn’t have possibly come at a better time – just know that good things come to those who wait, and you’ll know when you know, I promise. Never ever ever give up. 
And so to end the story, on October 22nd 2017, this happened:
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thank you endlessly from the bottom of my heart for the opportunity of a lifetime, and for giving me a memory I will NEVER forget as long as I live, Taylor, you’re truly the best there is :’)
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misterbitches · 3 years
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Im not intelligent at all. In the conventional sense. The ramblings of a girl who just has sooo much going in in her head it's constant. But im not a genius. Or that confusing.
It just sounds like I am bc fandoms have this issue where they can JUSTSO point out the issues in soletiing. They can pick and prod and go oh problematic! But then you go to name the problems and the difficulties within society like for ex: the idea of representation in general. Salivating over it. How fucking sad that is. How we are trained to accept it. So in a BL and also RACE in the bl genre they exploit viewers naivete both domestically and internationally. Ive seen tons of people liken being asian to being a person of color. However, in their predominantly homogenous society (or intentionally publically homogenous society), they are not "poc" (also name the of color; i dont use bipoc idc if u do but it's called being asian guys cos yall aint talkin about black ppl lmao)
They as humans seeing other humans who look like them everywhere, engage with the world differently than an american in asia or asians living outside of their home country (like bae doo nanwhen she worksnin the US is not the same as the bae doo nanworking on a korean program) I dont complain about it in everything i see bc ppl say it ALL THE TIME. but it is NOT the same. Being a person of color is very distinctly an american concept. This is all stuff people will get to know on their own if they choose to dig more.
I do my best to underline what my ugly little eyes process. How i figure things out as a black female american artist too! Im hard on shit cos i should be. I take it seriously. And even if i dont take it seriously bc THEY dont then thats their problem.
I know this is a complaint that I am not alone in. I know it's the internet. I just don't get how people can write really heavy analysis but they refuse to actually probe the underlying issues. Not everyone is me, or like my friends, but if there's way fewer people talking about this stuff it seems absolutely glaring when theres few people engaging in the way i do. It seems like im the glitch but I am thinking just as much just differently.
I really loved where your eyes linger but there was little deep class analysis. I remember few convos a bout it. I know a lot about korea (sigh being a black ex kpop fan lol mess) and i love the history but all ofnit matters! Korea's relation to labor!
People bringing up thai actors snd actresses leaving the industry and doing acting as something quick. As an artist~ who went to film school with insanely wealthy ppl and isnin tons of debt you have to understand how shitty that is. People have monetary access and they just fucking do whatever just because they want to. Meanwhile you have young people being coerced into this bullshit mainstream life to LITERALY just make money bc they dont come from a rich background. The wealth gap in thailand is BAD, theres a dictatorship, they had a fucking coup. The governments like here do not respect their people. Their marginalized groups. Trans thai women, black thai ppl, poor thai ppl. And it LITERALLY CANNOT DO ANYTHING EFFECTIVELY IN CAPITALISM. No nothing can be perfect but if it's going into our eyeballs and we can view the worlld critically then why the fuck not!???
I dont say the things i see are wrong always. I reply when i think i need to. I try and engage with others but not to kuch avail. I just want to rb stuff and tdhink lajfhhdjwhjej.
But like yea theres a lot of just wrong or misguided stuff. A lot of the times it is just historical inaccuracy in framing or idk. A refusal to think outside the box. I dont care. Theres more to life than just sort of looking and not thinking especially for othrr artists.
Idk im sorry. I dont see how i can change how i view things. I really wish people would expand their palettes too and go deeper into other means of art from places! Things not in the mainstream! Theres a lot of good thai artists and a lot of them critical as fuck about their country as they should be. Authority, austerity, patriarchy, capital, racism etc like that is central to a power thats interested in growing gains and fiscal and social power. Theres rly radical or left leaning etc ppl out there in the world and these countries in these communities. So they exist. No people in these countries dont have NO clue whats going on. Cultural relativism is alsos something people should understand. I had a good talk with ppl on here a while ago about that. Talking about shit, critiquing, but being respectful to a group. Part of thay is realizing these groups CLEARLY know their own issues and all our cultures share the same goal. Guess what it is. It rhymes with acquiring wealth. Money means you hurt people. In the post, we talked about use of "wife" and "husband" which is a stupid joke that has been "explained" a billion times and yet the explanations still dont seem to answer or justify a minor problem (it's very funny to me that a language that doesnt have gendered pronouns is now very specific about two men. Hmmm wonder why. It is annoying.)
So im not the only person on the planet doing this. Or the few ppl ive seen that do. Im not new my thoughts arent new. Ive gotten to see another side to a culture i knew not much about and that means i can put the context of my beliefs and life and try and understand thheirs. For ex i learned from ITSAY because of a sign that said 'french food' that they were the only country to not be colonized back then. Do you know how integral that history is to their region? That was an interesting detail (i didnt finish itsay bc ihad a lot going on and i was rly upset that i would see hownrich they are and i hate that.)
Anyways thats my complaint. It used to feel like a sting of rejection. I left online for months in 2019, i started organizing more, joined a union, trying to do some panther work shit like that. I learned a lot in those months and it changed my life! But when I came back, I felt so isolated. It wasnt my true friends tho sometimes theyre ANNOYINGGGGG (love u) but it was me being like "if we are going to complain guys then lets put our money where our mouth is" lets be fucking serious about it then. No say it with your chest dude. It isnt difficult. Go with the fucking flow, talk about it, critique it, think. You can still fucking like itnor love it.
I am BLACK ok and i love rap. I am a black woman. I will continue to clown black men that cant seem to not clown themselves and listen. No i wont support monetarily: drake is a creep and i hate him but i bump that niggas song. Thats fucking LIFE. I got so sick of hiding myself and it became clear that it wasnt that i wasntthinking well or hard enough. They just didnt like that i said we need to commit class suicide and inspect out middle class sensibilities and middle class wealth hoarding (google it) if thats what we engaged with. Every part of you, antagonize it. I still have my privileges; class, skin color, even my father being a nigerian immigrant, me being cis, im not str8 but not a lesbian and those are differences.
Insecurities in general but some shallow thoughts (?) on discussion in "fandom" space. FYI, this will most likely stay the same. I tend to stay in my own bubble socially IE me and my friends are similar in our views. During this awful year while running my union's account, im surrounded by like minds. Me and my friends? We changed together. We grew up and saw what we didnt like and what we want. We do our best.And i CHOOSE my life to be that way bc it should be. There is no solution. I dont believe in solutions because the solution is to abolish capital or just divest. Abolishing capital and labor are a huge one and i will die before that happens (but so help me as long as im alive? Black women to FREEDOMMMM is my motto!) so making your own path in life is the best thing an artist can do IN MY OPINION.
However with technology and stuff this puts another layer onto things. Tech, social media, this shit....it THRIIIIIIIVESSSSSSS off of conflict and shallow readings of the world. We are literally primed for it. Engagement in bites. Impossible for me with my brain; i got used to it and i paid for it by limiting my scope. Not being encouraged to THINK AND READ before just speaking
(For ex i am in iww, i helped form a branch here. It is a radical union. Unionism is imprative to me-if ur interested u should read up on some. Look up peter cole! Google inthesetimes Ilwu. Gives you some understanding. Ive always been progressive and now i am....very left idk ic ant label myself. But even in my progrssiveness i had the gall to tell my white friend, whoa has her privileges but i had mine with our class disparity, that we dont need unions, i have WORKED retail. Ive done barista work for sonoing and i do gig work. So i wasnt out of touch. I had been stiffed even with a shoot i was working on by rich kids. So i had a frame of reference . But i didnt know what the FUCKa union was and why it is imperative. Then learning about anarcho syndicalism and all these other things. It changed my fucking life but two years earlier i was this idiot spouting shit like that making one of my best friends fucking upset. We DO AND CAN CHANGE. Think!!!!)
So were i a creator for tv id just constantly try and push the buttons if i need big money. Make them sell into me (thank you sonic youth!) theres Endless possibilities guys which means theres SO MUCH TK EXPLORE!!!! When i wanna have fun with it i just have fun. When i want to think i do. I dont understand why we are so dedicated to upholding things and doing mental gymnastics to end up in a space you dont need mental gymnastics for. What about these critiques makes you uncomfortable? Saying we're all part of the problem as spectators? Im sorry but we will always be. Thats LIFE. God fuck. Fuck me. I feel so fucking worthless and stupid sometimes. I know I am not. I know i am talented and intelligent. I know my friends and family. I know how to approach ppl. I know how to tell people if they are rich but want to be progressive whatsup. I choose how i live part of that is being ok to say what i want.
Ironically consrrvatives say this shit alot. But they arent ever alone bc their ideology is default. But yea it does feel shitty. It even feels shitty when ur in left circles but people STILL dont even wanna do that. These perspectives really arent ss many as they should be. I dont want to feel so alone with it. I know there are more. I just love art and the world so fucking much, endless possibility. Endless pain but endless good.
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